tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60515390704128920602024-03-28T23:28:46.140-04:00ThermionicEmissionstubes, linux, lefty guitar, the anti-social network, sarcasm, chocolate, satire, and chocolate.leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.comBlogger1476125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-37246722971010779622024-03-13T10:37:00.002-04:002024-03-13T10:37:39.600-04:00Can't You Stick Your Finger Up Your Nose like the rest of the kids?The inadvertently sick thing about being sick is that I can't infect my coworkers, as they all work from home. I did take precautions and have them move farther away from their screens and speakers when I was on.<div><br /></div><div>Apparently the precautions weren't enough, as most of them are sick too. Talk about computer viruses... Most of them work anyway, and why not - they barely get anything done when they're <i>well</i>. In fact, their productivity has actually gone up, the theory being they have little energy for social media, so they focus on work. Of course there's little that can be done while sleeping, but to emphasize the positive, it keeps their stupid ideas to a minimum. We just have to mute their mics to keep the snoring down in meetings.</div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of meetings, my boss has officially driven his staff insane with meetings. People have their communication styles, like email, text, and smoke signals. Boss' style is meetings. He actually told us he can't get anything done because he's in meetings all day. I guess some people just can't learn from their mistakes (or <i>won't</i>). I often wonder what it's like at his house....</div><div><br /></div><div>BOSS: Kids, Louella, get up or you'll miss the Wakeup Meeting.</div><div>EVERYONE: Aw, do we have to?</div><div>BOSS: We have to start off the day right. I need Sleep Stats, the Breakfast Report, and progress since last night's Sleep Meeting.</div><div>EVERYONE: Grumble</div><div>BOSS: Hailey, you were in charge of the Sleep Project. How many hours did everyone get and what was the delta from the previous evening, as well as in general?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I must be starting to feel better... I'm blogging. My apologies for missing many posts, but sickness took it out of me, plus I wasn't getting any (not that this was odd). </li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Don't ask me what's wrong, but the Meeting Factor has gone through the roof this week. If it's not your regular brain-seizing, concrete-melting, attention swallowing meetings, there's a bit of 'training' about. Training is a process in which a cleverly-disguised salesperson gives a few days' technical presentation on something you've never seen before and definitely never want to come in contact with. In fact, you'd prefer it not to occupy the same state, country, or planet on which you reside.</div><div><br /></div><div>One of the meetings came up really short, so the entire group sat there, looking around, wondering what to do. We were saved by a pop-up meeting that sucked up all the rest of our time before leaving. I don't want to talk out of school, but the boss wet his boxers when he heard about the fill-in meeting.</div><div><br /></div><div>You see, meetings aren't just horrid wastes of time, guaranteed to make your brain stop processing forever. Meetings become their own living monsters. They pry open your skull and use a cheese grater to shave your brain down to a perfect square. They throw so much garbage at you that your brain can no longer process input, even when the end of the meeting comes and the next meeting is being planned. And there will always be some useful idiot who asks questions, prompting another discussion that will last 47 minutes and mean nothing to no one. Working from home provides the added benefit of drinking. You can run a large drink right into your veins or just take huge gulps while the circus continues. If you're poorly-behaved, like me, no one will notice a few extra (drunken) outbursts. I used to wait until work was over before drinking, but these constant meetings are taking their toll on me. The other day I started at 4:00. Then 9 am. Coworkers tell me to start at 8am; the day is much smoother if you're pre-loaded, they tell me. Since we don't use video, it's much harder to catch me weaving and falling over. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>People get caught doing it in public toilets. Sure, a bit of fun for everyone. What I want to know is who calls the police? Some dried-up old hag who hasn't seen it in over 30 years? Or some old pervert who couldn't convince the couple to include him in the fun.</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Automakers Are <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/11/technology/carmakers-driver-tracking-insurance.html" target="_blank">Sharing</a> Consumers’ Driving Behavior With Insurance Companies<div><br /></div><div><br /></div>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-30359968806445845262024-02-28T09:42:00.000-05:002024-02-28T09:42:10.573-05:00If it requires Dancers, it ain't MusicI'm sick. Again. Lemme tell you bout it.<div>I was minding my own business when I breathed in and heard all sorts of other noises that should not accompany breathing. I felt like the Addams Family; Morticia's sister Ophelia could sing 3 part harmony at once. Well, this was the closest I was going to get to it anyway. It was like a cough combined with a wheeze combined with a tin whistle, all at once. This should have alerted me something was up, but I try not to pay close attention to stuff my body's trying to tell me. It's never good news, ya know?</div><div><br /></div><div>Within a day or 3, I started hacking up a lung, along with the accompanying noise, which was enough to scare politicians off legislation for their own pay raises. At about this point, I noticed that even my hair hurt. Arm hair, head hear, whatever hair - it hurt. So it would start out with front of body hair, ouch, then reacting by backing up hair. Splotch, Ow, Double Splotch, and errrrrr.</div><div><br /></div><div>They tell you to look at the stuff you bring up and if it's colorful, that's a problem. This stuff was colorful, to the tune of some sort of disgusting dark green, with a touch of Jackson Pollack. Splotch, Ow, Double Splotch, errr, hack.</div><div><br /></div><div>The Mystery Illness also played havoc with my sleep because I couldn't get a clear nostril for breathing. Splotch, Ow, Double Splotch, errr, Snore. I knew if I didn't get it fixed, I'd be sleeping in the basement, but politely.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I was a zombie, terribly tired, and would fall halfway asleep anywhere that wasn't my bed. Splotch, Ow, Double Splotch, errr, hack, Snore. After I few days I became tired of this and asked if we shouldn't pay a visit to the hospital. This was my error, either that or the triage result for not breathing came somewhat lower than sneezing. Splotch, Ow, Double Splotch, errr, hack, masked hack. I was beginning to warn Wife that if I passed out, she should go get someone to look at me, as it had been four hours. We got one of those nice rooms, right outside the hallway from other rooms. I told them they couldn't charge me for a room if I didn't sit in one. Splotch, Ow, Double Splotch, errr, hack, mask Splotch, beeping.</div><div><br /></div><div>After some testing and constant ringing of room bells, they decided it was viral, hence would have to work its own way though. You know, I had been treating the symptoms for a week, so I didn't find too much value in a professional opinion. Since the illness had made me feel like I had been dead for a week, I was looking for more of a solution that involved prescription medicines, or at least involving a lot of Yoo Hoo. Splotch, Ow, Double Splotch, errr, hack, mask Splotch, beeping. Snore.</div><div><br /></div><div>Because of the viral mess, I have temporarily lost my sense of taste. I hate my body, as do many others. When I can't taste, I start eating stuff I don't like, out of spite. Lots of stinky cheese!</div><div><br /></div><div>=====================</div><div><br /></div><div>So I was left to treat the symptoms. I'd get up in the morning, treat the symptoms, then get up the next morning, and treat the symptoms. It was kind of a Symptomatic Treatment with no Point. At least I assumed my new identity as Mucus Man. It's a shame mucus can't fuel a car - I'd be rich.</div><div><br /></div><div>After a week of treating symptoms, I became tired and weary and called my doctor. He described precisely the conditions of the Emergency Room and did his own exam. We decided on some prescription medicines, which always makes people feel better. <i>NOTE: do not take antibiotics just for fun; only for the correct infection. Antibiotics are losing efficacy because they're randomly overprescribed</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I continued to treat the symptoms (these symptoms gotta go, perhaps buried in some landfill in New Jersey). I got an inhaler, for the first time in my life. I'd start telling people I had some sort of horrible lung disease, but I rarely leave the house and people don't terrify as easily as they used to. On the positive side, the inhaler is famous; I can tell because it has plenty of commercials, all day long, with people singing and dancing and being stupid on purpose.</div><div><br /></div><div>Aside from the Mucus Minders, I find it odd that the only medicine that has any definite effect is ibuprofen (generic Advil). It gets rid of headaches, fevers, and threatens mucus, like the guys who operate New Jersey landfills. I think the conspiracy here is that Big Pharma<tm> has nothing to compete with ibuprofen, so it's the only thing that works. This does not stop them from coming out with more and more expensive Pills That Don't Work.</div><div><br /></div><div>One of the weirdest side effects of the sickness is on sleep. If I go to bed early, I wake up refreshed, only to find that I've just slept a total of 2 hours and can't get back to sleep. Going to bed early seems to cause less sleep - it makes perfect sense. And I cough a lot. Nothing much comes of it, but I can clear a waiting room faster than one of my own jokes. But I know it's serious when I have no desire to eat. On my deathbed, I'll be demanding ice cream, so not wanting any is worrisome. </div><div><br /></div><div>Wife was amazing through all of this. She, ever hypervigilant, would watch me in bed, to see if I stopped breathing. I never understood if not breathing was a good thing or not, so I didn't ask. I could run an Abrams tank through the room and over the bed without waking her. But if I coughed once, she wanted to know if I was ok and could she get me anything. Fight with your spouse all you want, but this is where the rubber meets the sidewalk.</div><div><br /></div><div>So after 3 weeks of this crap, I'm still coughing, still have minor fevers, still Mr. Mucus, and still don't sleep right. I consider this all a success. A grave success. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>And after asking around, I start to wonder about this. Many seem to have this ailment, whatever it is. Some were diagnosed with the Flying AIDS, some not (me). But the symptoms and length seem to go on forever, with no meds actually helping. Makes one wonder....</div><div><br /></div><div>Stay well.</div>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-73796012784514661762024-02-08T12:12:00.000-05:002024-02-08T12:12:06.215-05:00Giant Magical BunniesI was having a tough time of it at work. I kept damn near falling asleep. I asked friends, family, and even the doctors, but no one had any ideas. I am nothing if not ugly. In fact, I am nothing if not scientific - I love to take stuff apart. When I was very little, the family was out visiting, and I would take apart their vacuums. Whether or not this affects my feelings about vacuums lately, I cannot say. Where was I? Oh yeah, ugly.<div><br /></div><div>So I monitored my sleepiness. My sleep amount or schedule hadn't changed (the less sleep I get, the easier it is to get up). It took a while, but I realized I had a start on the problem when I joked that I stopped falling over when work was done for the day. A-HA! But it wasn't every day.</div><div><br /></div><div>It finally hit me, like yet another derailing Amtrak train, that I was falling asleep in <i>meetings</i>. I watched this closely (with my eyes closed and my mic muted), and it turned out to be the problem. As soon as a meeting started, I'd start getting tired. It's not like I'd get progressively tired as the meeting went on... within the first sentence I'd start nodding off. Even 'good morning' would start me off to 'good evening, time to go to bed.' To make things worse, if I crossed my legs, I was more likely to get tired. The doctors were at a loss (after they stopped laughing).</div><div><br /></div><div>With the Science done, it was time to look for the cure. I tried the normal stuff, like a 10th cup of coffee, pinching myself, having someone <i>else</i> pinching myself, hitting myself with a hammer, all for naught. I got creative, asking Boss to be excused from meetings, with predictable results. It took some effort, but I got a doctor's note, excusing me from meetings. This worked no better than when I got a doctor's note to keep an android phone, as opposed to the new iPhone. <i>My employer is anything but flexible</i>. </div><div><br /></div><div>So here I am, in limbo. It's all I can do to keep from snoring.</div><div>Suggestions?</div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>The meetings will continue until morale improves</i> </div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> </p>Denmark orders schools to stop sending <a href="https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/google/denmark-orders-schools-to-stop-sending-student-data-to-google/" target="_blank">student data</a> to Google<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Told you so. If your student uses a Chromebook, their data is going to Google. Gmail too</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p>Chinese hackers have lurked in some US <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2024/02/07/politics/china-hacking-us-agencies-report/index.html" target="_blank">infrastructure</a> systems for ‘at least five years’ <div></div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Told you so. They're in the power and all sorts of other systems. Nothing good will come of this</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p>MS-DOS and Windows 3.11 still run train dashboards at German railway — company listed admin job for 30-year-old operating system<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Perhaps it's running Boeing 737s too. Don't. Get. On. The. Train. They obviously don't care about security</i>.</div></blockquote><p> </p>Senator Wiener Introduces Groundbreaking Bills to Slash California <a href="https://sd11.senate.ca.gov/news/20240124-senator-wiener-introduces-groundbreaking-bills-slash-california-road-deaths-epidemic" target="_blank">Road Deaths</a> Epidemic<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Mandate electronic speed controls in cars. The planet of California is a silly place and you should not go there</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> Wanna know how you're <a href="https://sls.eff.org/" target="_blank">surveilled</a>?</p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><i>be prepared to be shaken and stirred</i> </p></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> </p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-76597349907715896272024-02-03T04:00:00.013-05:002024-02-03T04:00:00.398-05:00Time to Call the Exorcist. Again.I got out of bed to discover my laptop in the OFF state.<div>This was somewhat disconcerting, as I had left it in the ON state.</div><div>At this point, it was necessary to utter my new phrase: What is it THIS time?</div><div>After watching stuff near Mrs. lefty fly off shelves, I had no idea what to expect.</div><div>Troubleshooting gave the answer; the power plug came out of the power strip.</div><div>This is a new one, especially as it takes great force to plug the cord in and unplug it.</div><div>The dog, who has taken to turning power strips off, had no way to unplug it.</div><div>Even if one of us tripped over it, it would not unplug.</div><div>So there's that.</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't even believe in exorcists, but am willing to try anything.</div><div>There is much more proof for UFOs than exorcists.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>*it is best to leave computers off when you're not using them, for security's sake</i></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>The other day I was asked to let the dog out. Wife said Dog had to poop.</div><div>Ok, the universal Dog sign for going out is to sit there and stare at me.</div><div>How Wife knew Dog wanted to poo is beyond my understanding. I'm not sure I need this kind of knowledge. I'd rather know about UFOs or JFK. Instead, I get my head full of knowing when the dog wants to poop. I feel shorted somehow.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I don't think the neighbors like us. I inquired about the forthcoming baby and was told any time in the next 48 hours. Then radio silence. They must be pissed that their dogs can't eat my dog. Or that time I heard him say, "That fscking crazy lady next door." It was very hurtful to hear, because I didn't get called crazy too. I felt left out. Dammit, I have an image to maintain.</div><div><br /></div><div>On the other side, I have to sit down with that new neighbor to tell him stories of the previous owner, The Crazy Lady, and her tenant, the ex-armed forced schizophrenic who owned guns. It probably didn't help that he was next door to me - I fed his paranoia delightfully, but not intentionally. I wonder if any of his place was booby trapped. I guess I'd know by now... no explosions since the new people moved in. "Hey, lefty, we're redoing the up" BOOM.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>A Colorado pastor says <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2024/01/24/us/colorado-pastor-crypto-fraud-cec/index.html" target="_blank">God told him</a> to launch a crypto venture. He’s now accused of pocketing $1.3 million from his followers <div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>It's ok - God told him to steal the money too</i>.</div></blockquote><div>In my house, when someone hears voices, the medicine gets adjusted.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>California Bill Calls for Tech to Make New Cars <a href="https://www.caranddriver.com/news/a46554218/new-car-regulated-speed-limit-california-bill/" target="_blank">Unable to Speed</a><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>California is a weird place. Kinda like Hitler was antisemitic</i>.</div></blockquote><br /><br />NSA finally admits to <a href="https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/01/nsa-finally-admits-to-spying-on-americans-by-purchasing-sensitive-data/" target="_blank">spying on Americans</a> by purchasing sensitive data<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"> <i>SHOCKING! Who would have thought? Now give them more tax dollars so they can keep up their good work</i>. $80 billion to the IRS. NSA demands its share.</p></blockquote><p> </p>Disposable <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68123202" target="_blank">vapes</a> to be banned for children's health, government says (UK)<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>but not cigarettes or alcohol. Hypocrites</i>.</div></blockquote><p> </p>Gotta go? We’ve finally found out what makes urine <a href="https://arstechnica.com/science/2024/01/gotta-go-weve-finally-found-out-what-makes-urine-yellow/" target="_blank">yellow</a><p><i> That's nice. Now what about vitamin B makes it green and smell?</i></p><p><i><br /></i></p><p><i><br /></i></p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-8639731752702867112024-01-31T04:00:00.000-05:002024-01-31T04:00:00.142-05:00Not Tonight - I'm Shampooing my GuttersAh, what would we do without a throwback to the days when a housewife didn't have to work and could concentrate on what was important - <strike>raising the kids</strike> spying on the neighbors. As with almost everything, there's a Monty Python sketch about it. Two 'women' had a complete room dedicated to surveilling the neighbors. They had telescopes and all sorts of monitors to watch them.<div><br /></div><div>I only mention this because Wife is home and seems to have developed a sense of what the neighbors are doing. This morning, in bed, she told me Bob doesn't normally leave this early in the morning, and that sound is Emily, Bob's wife, leaving the driveway, in her Escalade. She thinks it's wonderful that little Jeannie is now old enough to drive and her parents bought her a little Ford Focus.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>HUH?</i> </div><div><br /></div><div>I live in the same neighborhood (most of the time) and never noticed any of this. I work from home, so I should have seen something of what's happening. I notice when Bob is working because his truck isn't parked where it always does. After some serious time spent figuring this out (2.74 seconds, 3.02 grams Canadian), I realized that I just <i>don't care</i>. It makes no difference in my life when Bob leaves for work. Ok, that's not entirely true: Bob leaves the same minute every day, which is about 30 seconds before my alarm goes off, so if I hear Bob leave, I can't sleep for more than 30 seconds. As we all know, 30 seconds is Prime Sleep Time<tm> and not to be wasted. If I happen to be dreaming at that moment, I get up at normal time, completely confused as to where I am and why there's a dog sharing my pillow.</div><div><br /></div><div>One of our gay couples had one of those 'love' signs on their lawn and some idiot stole it. They asked Wife if she saw anything or would she keep an eye out. You don't mess with neighbors, so Wife dedicated some of her extra monitoring equipment to keeping the sign in place. She has a 29" monitor strictly pointed at the sign, as well as motion, heat, and sound detectors. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Sometimes you wanna go - where everybody knows your name</b> </div><div><br /></div><div>Bob, from across the street, caught me during one of my sporadic trips outside and just wanted to let me know it had snowed that week. Ha ha, funny man. Two days later, Wife said I was turning really white. I hoped it was just cosmetic, as opposed to health. I've always been pasty white. They say I get my tan from the refrigerator light.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/25/us/politics/nsa-internet-privacy-warrant.html" target="_blank">N.S.A.</a> Buys Americans’ Internet Data Without Warrants, Letter Says<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Of <b>course</b> they do. Why put out all that money on spying hardware when you can buy it from Faceyspaces</i>. Your tax dollars (and liberties) at work.</div></blockquote><p> </p>Inside a Global Phone <a href="https://www.404media.co/inside-global-phone-spy-tool-patternz-nuviad-real-time-bidding/" target="_blank">Spy Tool</a> Monitoring Billions<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><i>the better to sell you stuff and sell your info, said an advertising agency</i> </p></blockquote><p><br /></p><p><a href="https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/iphone-apps-abuse-ios-push-notifications-to-collect-user-data/" target="_blank">iPhone</a> apps abuse iOS push notifications to collect user data</p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>iPhone goes NSA</i> </div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Religious '<a href="https://www.npr.org/2024/01/24/1226371734/religious-nones-are-now-the-largest-single-group-in-the-u-s" target="_blank">Nones</a>' are now the largest single group in the U.S. <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><i> That's right - become a None. NOTE: not a nun</i>. </p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><i>Nones include atheists, agnostics, and others not sporting an 'official' religion. So you followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are Nones too</i>. </p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"> </p></blockquote>Amazon Ring stops letting police <a href="https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/01/amazon-ring-stops-letting-cops-get-doorbell-footage-without-a-warrant/" target="_blank">request footage</a> in Neighbors app after outcry<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><i> after outcry for years. Note: police can still request video</i>.</p></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/23/business/delta-boeing-plane-nose-tire.html" target="_blank">Boeing</a> continues to have a bad day, this time via a nose wheel coming off before takeoff.</p><p><br /></p>AI-generated <a href="https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2024/01/pope-francis-warns-of-perverse-ai-technology-that-faked-him-in-a-puffy-coat/" target="_blank">puffy pontiff</a> image inspires new warning from Pope Francis<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Out of all possible things one can do with AI, some wag put him in a puffy coat</i>. As one would expect, Pope was Not Amused.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> </p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-30524831001578059502024-01-28T04:00:00.066-05:002024-01-28T04:00:00.358-05:00We Miss Our Holidays<div><br /></div><div>Yeah, it was fun, getting all those days off, making January even more of a pain in the ass.</div><div>At least we have MLK day.</div><div>I celebrated the same way I celebrate all holidays; I slept late.</div><div>Sometimes my body betrays me and I get up at 8:30. I'm working to get this made illegal.</div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of illegal, Mrs. lefty watches a show called "Jail." The long and short of it is that after people are arrested for something or other, they come to jail. The entire show is the process of coming to jail and getting yourself out of jail. While this might be interesting, the overarching sad point is that jail is a babysitting service for drunks and druggies. These people consume their drink and/or drugs, then go out and cause mayhem, without an ounce of responsibility. The taxpayers have to fund the babysitting service. It's funny to hear people upset at decriminalizing drugs when there's a separate standard for alcohol.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div> Addicts in drug-ravaged Philadelphia reveal gruesome risks to get <a href="https://nypost.com/2024/01/01/news/drug-hitters-help-addicts-inject-tranq-in-philadelphia/" target="_blank">high</a>: ‘You could paralyze somebody’ <div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>So they hire a 'hitter' to do it for them. Show us a need and we'll provide the resource!</i></div></blockquote><p> </p><div><br /></div><div>Mother Nature sure is pissed. Unfortunately we don't know at whom. She'd have to be Mother nature because Father nature wouldn't be this screwed up. He'd be pretty predictable and every now and then, it would rain beer. No global warming, no snow in Texas. No precipitation on game days. People would LOVE Father Nature. But no... we have Mother Nature, and everything's fscked up.</div><div><br /></div><div>Depending on which source I use, we're getting no snow, a dusting of snow, 1-2" of snow, or a foot. The only thing more confusing than Mother Nature is weather forecasts. After being outside, Dog looks like the Abominable Snow Span. She was raised in a warm climate before we adopted her and we have to keep the gates locked so she doesn't try to go back there.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>In the past day, I've seen someone with the last name Bull, and someone called Coffindaffer. Man, those must have been some <i>rough</i> childhoods.</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>‘I Was Desolate’: John <a href="https://www.mediaite.com/news/i-was-desolate-john-fetterman-worried-revealing-mental-health-struggles-would-end-his-career/" target="_blank">Fetterman</a> Worried Revealing Mental Health Struggles Would ‘End’ His Career<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">So he lied. And stayed in office. And in the hospital. Voters (and non voters) are ripe for the picking. You can do absolutely anything you want to us and we'll just crack open a beer and watch The Masked Furry. This person needs to be removed. <b>NOW</b>.</div></blockquote><div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of treats, Wife showed me she loves me again (no, not that, you prevert). I got a fresh vat of homemade vanilla buttercream icing. It's a tradition. Ok, <i>eating</i> it is a tradition. We don't bother with cake because cake is just a vehicle to carry icing. So we sit there with a spoon or two, under the pretense that we'd never go face-down in the bowl. We're only lying to ourselves - who gets hurt? I started doing things like this to freak out my mom, but great mom that she was, she would make <i>chocolate</i> buttercream icing and put it in a container for me. She used to get some instant coffee and blend it in and you have never tasted anything like it. It must've been embarrassing going to the store for instant coffee. That's a lot to get past. And I will forever miss chocolate buttercream icing.</div><div><br /></div><div>The other day Wife got her hair cut. I thought Mom would like it. Oops. Not anymore.</div><div><i>I guess it's going to take a while to get past this</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>EXCLUSIVE: CIA's secret office has conducted <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12796167/CIA-secret-office-UFO-retrieval-missions-whistleblowers.html" target="_blank">UFO retrieval missions</a> on at least NINE crash sites around the world, whistleblowers reveal</div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Something's starting to hit the fan. I'm just not sure <i>what</i>.</div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>No new year edition would be complete without <b>Famous Deaths</b> </div><div><br /></div><div>Denny Laine - Wings</div><div>Carla Bley - jazz composer, pianist</div><div>Rudolph Isley - The Isley Brothers</div><div>Roger Whittaker - singer-songwriter</div><div>Gary Wright - singer-songwriter</div><div>Jimmy Buffett - singer-songwriter</div><div>Bernie Marsden - guitar, Whitesnake, UFO</div><div>Robbie Robertson - guitar, The Band</div><div>Sinead O'Connor - singer-songwriter</div><div>Randy Meisner - Eagles</div><div>Tony Bennett</div><div>Tina Turner - singer-songwriter</div><div>Gordon Lightfoot - singer-songwriter</div><div>Tim Bachman - BTO</div><div>Robbie Bachman - BTO</div><div>Harry Belafonte</div><div>Ahmad Jamal - jazz pianist</div><div>Keith Reid - Procol Harum</div><div>Jim Gordon - Derek and the Dominos</div><div>Gary Rossington - Lynyrd Skynyrd - last original member</div><div>David Lindley</div><div>Wayne Shorter - Weather Report</div><div>Burt Bacharach</div><div>Ton Verlaine - Television</div><div>David Crosby - CSNY</div><div>Fred White - EW&F</div><div>Dennis Budimir - the Wrecking Crew</div><div>Anthony Top Topham - the Yardbirds</div><div>Mo Foster - bass, Jeff Beck, session</div><div>Russell Batiste Jr - The Funky Meters</div><div>Tom Smothers - comedian, guitar</div><div>Norman Lear - tv writer</div><div>Richard Moll - Bull on Night Court</div><div>Suzanne Somers - Chrissie - Three's Company</div><div>Paul Reubens - he was Pee Wee Herman</div><div>Lisa Loring - the last of the Addams Family - Wednesday</div><div><br /></div><div>And my hero: Jeff Beck (78, bacterial meningitis)</div><div><br /></div><div>The only good news was that most didn't commit suicide. </div>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-67457807440012876592024-01-25T09:01:00.000-05:002024-01-25T09:01:17.114-05:00Airbrush Your FaceThose products that color your skin or get rid of wrinkles are startlingly stupid. The colors are literally airbrushing your face. The wrinkle treatment is some sludge that holds the wrinkles up until it wears off. Oh well, <i>vanity</i>....<div><br /></div><div>Being the low man on the totem pole is starting to get to me. It's not so much being married as having a dog. She follows her mommy around everywhere, her mommy being the Pied Piper of Cockers. If Wife is having a bad day, she might be in bed most of the day. This means the dog will too, appearing only to go outside. She indicates this by staring at me until I take her out. She just sits there... <i>staring</i> at me, with those huge brown eyes. But that's it - she won't come around to sit with me or get her belly rubbed. If I have a bad day, I can go fsck myself. Ah, it's good having a dog.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">California is the first state to offer health insurance to illegal aliens.<i> Of course it's California</i>. </div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Meanwhile, I have friends who can't afford to pay for normal healthcare, some <i>with</i> health insurance.</div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I just saw a review. Of mouse pads.</div><div>How in the universe does one review mouse pads, and does anybody go looking for mouse pad reviews? Unless, of course, it's a gaming mouse pad. Regular old mouse pads, which are good for regular old computer users, are sometimes free, sometimes really cheap. GAMING mouse pads start at $29.95, because whenever you add GAMING to something, the price triples.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Why do people wash their dishes before putting them in the dishwasher?</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div>It's not safe or wise to be in the air these days.</div><div>An Alaska Air Boeing 737-Max 9 plane experienced a window <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2024-01-23/alaska-air-ceo-says-loose-bolts-found-in-many-boeing-max-jets" target="_blank">blowout</a> and had to make an emergency landing. Everybody was ok. Alaska's CEO had a fit after noticing the bolts were loose on other planes and blamed Boeing. One would be safe in assuming that if the fault belonged to Alaska Air, the CEO would be on vacation, in some underground facility, incommunicado.</div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of blowouts., an American Air plane turned around on the tarmac due to an excessively <a href="https://nypost.com/2024/01/24/news/american-airlines-plane-delayed-because-of-farting-flyer/" target="_blank">farting</a> passenger. <i>Apparently the methane couldn't be converted to jet fuel</i>. When the passenger was removed, the rest of the fliers 'breathed a sigh of relief.' <i>You can't make this stuff up</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Watching a Britcops show the other day deeply affected me. Some idiot did something stupid in a bar and got kicked out of the bar by the bouncers. The police were called. They did nothing to address whatever the idiot did inside the bar, but were terribly upset he 'used racial language' at the bouncers. I understand Brits have some sort of limited free speech, but it has apparently gone on vacation, never to return. In the US, freedom of speech, as guaranteed, is also in peril. There is no such thing as hate language; all speech is speech. But don't try telling this to the groups who whine about this sort of thing, where hate laws are in effect. Make no mistake - assault is assault and should be punished as such. Speech, however, should all be treated as speech. There should be no difference between calling someone a faggot and calling them a car mechanic. Also make no mistake - I have no tolerance for calling people any 'racial' names, but don't feel it rises to a punishment level.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>As part of the many free services ThermionicEmissions provides, there is a debunking service. A common joke is that there is always a flight recorder in plane crashes, because it's made of certain metals, intended to be largely crash-proof. All comics ask, "Well why don't they make the whole plane out of this?" The answer is that it would never get off the ground. It would be too heavy. </div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>You're welcome</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> </p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-10159365682514817322024-01-19T10:28:00.002-05:002024-01-19T10:28:19.513-05:00STOP RESISTING!Those brilliant republicans are at it again. The bible-thumping House Speaker's days might not be long. So he said God sent Joe Biden (and didn't get sent to the Happy Place<tm>). The latest is trying to cut discounted broadband from poor people. Are the republicans' P/R people on vacation this month? I think I'll float the idea of keeping the electricity on for people who can't afford the bills or are sick...<div><br /></div><div>Speaking of President Giveaway, let's not.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>There's a lot of hoo-ha over YouTube's 5 second delay before playing videos. At first it was supposed to be caused by ad blockers, but now it's not. Having said that, Firefox has a great ad blocker and YT blocker. If I see commercials on YT or in general, I'm shocked. That's how effective the blockers are.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Physicists Design a Way to Detect <a href="https://www.sciencealert.com/physicists-design-a-way-to-detect-quantum-behavior-in-large-objects-like-us" target="_blank">Quantum Behavior</a> in Large Objects, Like Us<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Oh, that's not good. As soon as they observe you, you're in a box with the cat</i>. </div></blockquote><p><br /></p>Vast botnet hijacks <a href="https://www.theregister.com/2024/01/18/bigpanzi_botnet_smart_tvs/" target="_blank">smart TV</a>s for prime-time cybercrime<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>That's right - smart TVs. Buy a dumb one, like mine</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p>our <a href="https://www.tomshardware.com/networking/your-washing-machine-could-be-sending-37-gb-of-data-a-day" target="_blank">washing machine</a> could be sending 3.7 GB of data a day — LG washing machine owner disconnected his device from Wi-Fi after noticing excessive outgoing daily data traffic<div></div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>maybe, maybe not - but not difficult to believe</i>....</div></blockquote><p><br /></p>Some mysteries remain about why dogs wag their <a href="https://www.sciencenews.org/article/why-dogs-wag-tails-communication-evolution" target="_blank">tails</a><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>I may be stupid (MAY be?) but it's because they're happy. Ours doesn't stop. Neither does the dog's</i>.</div></blockquote><p> </p>'It hasn't delivered': The spectacular failure of <a href="https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20240111-it-hasnt-delivered-the-spectacular-failure-of-self-checkout-technology" target="_blank">self-checkout</a> technology<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>you mean it's not just me? You have the same problems, namely stupid people. You just added stupid terminals and saved the store lots of money. The store doesn't have to pay machines. If there's a cashier left, I get in that line.</i></div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> Where I live it's 26 degrees out, with the real feeling in the shade of 27 degrees. We're in the midst of either 4-6" (27 grams Canadian) or 2-4" (38 grams Canadian), depending on which forecast you see, what ads are on the page, and how much cold air Canada is sending us. Trudeau is a sneaky bastard with a passive-aggressive personality. The indoor humidity is 34% and dry. What a great concept - indoor humidity! I can get a forecasting job reporting indoor humidity, indoor temperature, and indoor supply of Frosted Flakes, as well as the Sex Likelihood. I'll be set for life (except for Sex Likelihood).</p><p>1/4" (99 grams Canadian) of snow shuts the city down completely. There are cities where 4-6" are no problem, but we can't possibly learn from them; it's just PANIC all the time. Friends in Minneapolis and Canada carry shovels, blankets and food in their trunks, in case they get stuck - and that's a general warning. There is no bread or milk to be found, but plenty of salt that cracks concrete and bothers pets. The secret of this snow is that it's coming down over the <i>last</i> snow, which was largely ice. I predict skidding and have forbidden Dog from driving in it. She hates the snow, as do her parents. But I'm the kind of guy who bitches when it's cold and snowing, hence my blog.</p><p>The really scary thing about snow, and trash lately, is that the cans are put away, as if by magic, and the sidewalk is shoveled. Considering I used to do this for older neighbors, I can only assume that we have become the older neighbors. This karma is both frightening and slightly appealing to my lazier side (my lazier side runs around my body in a 360 degree arc). </p><p><br /></p><div class="alpha">
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<div data-platform="mol.web.desktop" data-reactroot="" data-video-hero="true"><div class="desktopApp--DmjwV news" data-channel-color="news"><div class="videoLayout--Az7TN"><div class="videoComponent--y9UM0 dailymailtv vjs-video-container vjs-span-two-col title-is-hidden"><div class="componentPoster--eJ277" style="background-image: url(https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/01/12/18/79947963-0-image-a-5_1705083690271.jpg);"></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Bizarre footage shows several <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12956923/ufo-philadelphia-light-cluster-alien-footage.html" target="_blank">UFOs</a> hovering above Philadelphia<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>at first I was upset that I never saw them, until Wife reminded me one has to occasionally go outside AND look up. I understand now</i>.</div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Andrew Scott <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2024/jan/02/andrew-scott-halted-hamlet-performance-after-theatregoer-opened-laptop" target="_blank">halted</a> Hamlet soliloquy after theatregoer used laptop to email<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>a laptop?</i></div></blockquote><p> You may be surprised that someone would do this, as well as using a laptop (probably a doctor), but there are records of more interruptions during Hamlet...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>in 1976, Hamlet was interrupted by someone using a front end loader</li><li>in 1943, Hamlet was interrupted by bombing</li><li>in 2022, Hamlet was interrupted by 3 girls and their Faceyspaces beeping</li><li>in 2001, Hamlet was interrupted by a computer telling Dave it cannot allow that</li><li>in 2017, Hamlet was interrupted by a hostage situation involving automatic weapons</li><li>in 2019, Hamlet was interrupted by the diversion of a train during construction</li></ul><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><p></p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-34687120946643600582024-01-16T04:00:00.037-05:002024-01-16T04:00:00.137-05:00Blog Powered by ChatGPTBetcha didn't know GPT could write this flawlessly. Or this flaw-ful.<div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Pennsylvanians, your government workers are now powered by <a href="https://www.theregister.com/2024/01/11/pennsylvania_openai_chatgpt/" target="_blank">ChatGPT</a><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>This experiment will fail, miserably and expensively, when they discover they can't train it to be lazy, incompetent, and rude</i>.</div></blockquote><p> </p>Wimbledon: Electric double-decker bus catches <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-67944657" target="_blank">fire</a> during rush hour<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Betcha didn't know Tesla made buses</i>...</div></blockquote><p> </p>'A mouse for your mouth': New device allows users to scroll with their <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/tongue-controlled-touchscreens-hit-market-year-rcna133270" target="_blank">tongues</a><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>If you see an attractive person, your tongue rolls and deletes the entire page</i>. <i>And who could possibly argue with a transmitter that sits on your tongue. Tongue cancer, anyone?</i> </div></blockquote><p> </p><a href="https://arstechnica.com/health/2024/01/plastic-is-everywhere-including-our-food-and-bottled-water/" target="_blank">Plastic</a> is everywhere, including in our food and bottled water<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>hmmmm..... 2 dogs with cancer. We couldn't possibly be causing our own problems, could we? Cancer, Alzheimer's, whatever else.</i>....</div></blockquote><p> </p>US verges on <a href="https://arstechnica.com/science/2024/01/anti-vaccine-nonsense-will-likely-kill-thousands-this-season-fda-officials-say/" target="_blank">vaccination</a> tipping point, faces thousands of needless deaths: FDA<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Isn't that interesting. The FDA complains about what it hath wrought</i>...</div></blockquote><p> </p><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-67955754" target="_blank">Julia Roberts</a> says she has made the choice not to do nude scenes<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>I know nothing about movie-making, but I don't believe Julia has to make declarations like this. She's high enough up the food chain that she either won't be asked, or can just laugh it away. Now we'll have to count on deepfakes</i>....</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p>President Giveaway struck again, with $632 <a href="https://arstechnica.com/cars/2024/01/biden-administration-awards-632m-for-ev-charging-in-new-funding-round/" target="_blank">million</a> for electric vehicle charging. When asked for comment, Biden said, "My only regret is that I cannot give them <i>more</i>."</p><p>Dear taxpayers: you should feel good, deep in your heart, that you have done your American duty to help the auto manufacturers, banks, electric vehicle manufacturers, cable companies, chip companies, Big Pharma, IRS, and most everybody else who asked for it. <i>Except you</i>. <i>If the government took less of our money, we wouldn't have to bail ourselves out</i>...</p><p><br /></p><p>It's great to no longer be sick. Nothing is blurry and nothing floats around when I look at it. Aside from a tendency to trip (fairly normal), I feel good. No fever, no seeing things, no strange desire to watch sports.</p><p>Speaking of sports, we got our invite to a Superbowl party. Now I have to figure out when that is. This year I thought of bringing a tablet and watching tv or reading. Apparently I'm not the only one who feels this way; many also don't watch the game. <i>Football's the one with the horses, right?</i> Last year I suggested Dancing Girls, but the host's wife has no sense of humor. I bet if I suggested Dancing Guys, she'd be all for it. I know his neighbors better than I know mine. And no kids.</p><p>Speaking of no kids, that's why our 'hood works out so well. I'm not sure if there are any children under 13. No noise, except the constant racket of construction when I have a conference. Anyway... our newest nextdoor neighbor has gone on the 9 Month Rapid Weight Gain diet. Yes, she got knocked up. One day she was moving in, the next she was the size of her Toyota. And even I know it's not polite to ask the large woman if she's expecting. Or if she's just FAT. Anyway, I'm pretty sure this means an infant. Infants make noise. That will spoil the entire fung shwing of the neighborhood. Unless they have one of those joyful quiet infants that turn into joyful quiet children. Since there are no others, they'll have to leave the hood to find more bouncing bundles of joy [NOTE: they do NOT bounce. Don't ask]. </p><p>Of course we'll have to provide a present. This is pretty far our of my wheelhouse; fortunately Wife likes children. I suggested one of those things you put in their mouth to keep them quiet, but with some glue so it won't come out. A Johnny Automatic Weapon kit for when the little bugger gets older. Bag-O-Blades, a Harley, the Pill for his mommy (and daddy), and maybe a needlepoint that says, "Welcome to the end of sleep as you know it. For 18 years." Ain't it a good thing I don't have kids? There are several groups of concerned citizens which are actively interested in me not reproducing. My contraception was always free (and encouraged). I'd be out on a date, things were getting hot and heavy, then some complete stranger would pop up and hand me a condom. <i>It was the strangest thing</i>....</p><p>Speaking of sick, I got into bed the other night and immediately smelled something FOUL. It smelled like one of the other bed occupants (Wife, dog) threw up. But they're both pretty good about cleaning it up (oof). I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't stand it anymore. I moved the covers and boom - a piece of Wife's XXX Provolone fell on me. Well, that explains the smell.... both Wife and dog eat it. I always seem to be downwind from it.</p><p><br /></p><p>Nobody saw it coming: <a href="https://variety.com/2024/digital/news/george-carlin-ai-generated-comedy-special-1235868315/" target="_blank">George Carlin</a> has been brought back to life by AI. The new special is called I'm Glad I'm Dead. Nobody was more surprised than George, except possibly his daughter, Kelly, who is shocked and outraged. One of the people responsible, Will Sasso, says it's an impersonation of his voice and material. I think Will's funny, but this is not. Kelly suggests that if anybody wants to see George, there are many existing specials all over the place. I tend to agree.</p><p>George was an American treasure, who worked diligently on his art, from when tv was black and white. He was hysterical. Back when records were popular (the first time), we'd gather and listen to his records. To this day we quote him.</p><p><br /></p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-61922466609647004472024-01-13T04:00:00.002-05:002024-01-13T04:00:00.136-05:00I'm a Sick FsckThat's what <i>she</i> said.<div>And she meant it in a most literary sense.</div><div>To say my sleep has been highly interrupted for the last 3 days would be like saying Rob Reiner doesn't like Donald Trump.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have a fever. I have what Wife calls 'The Hot-Colds," which is pretty much what it sounds like; one minute I'm sweating, the next I'm freezing. It's not to say this is serious, but even my arm hair hurts. My head feels like it's currently in one of Uncle Fester's Rotator C-Clamps but I can't see the clamps. I have been trying to sleep with 4 blankets, but it's too cold for that. The dog has been helping by walking on my chest and pooping on the floor.</div><div><br /></div><div>Last night I couldn't stay awake after 9:30 so I went to bed. I have never gone to bed at 9:30, so just out of spite, I woke up 5 hours later, as if the alarm had gone off, with no interest or ability to sleep anymore. My body laughed quietly. My body is revolting, which she <i>also</i> said.</div><div><br /></div><div>Wife sometimes gets jealous when I'm sick, so she's sick too. She only requires 1 blanket.</div><div><br /></div><div>They (they <i>who?</i>) tell me to emphasize the positive, so I'll tell you that ibuprofen is a minor miracle. If I remember to take it, I only feel horrible! This is a great improvement for me.</div><div><br /></div><div>Work said to feel better, but I had to be online today for a presentation. I told everyone I was sick, they should move back from their monitors so they wouldn't get it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Because of where I work, the presentation was on software that's nowhere near functional and that most of us haven't used or can't even log into. But boy did we baffle them with BS. Most importantly, the slides were colorful. If you get the right blink rate, you can keep them hypnotized until you're done. It helps cut down on questions.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have to go now. Typing is making way too much noise.</div>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-60822611545597921922024-01-10T16:24:00.001-05:002024-01-10T16:24:17.778-05:00Superconductive Hysteresis Loops in CrunchberriesYeah, let's talk about superconductive hysteresis loops.<div><i>You start - I have no idea what they are</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Friends are vacationing in Asia. They're eating lots of insects, apparently on purpose. These folks have to have certain toppings on pizza or they won't eat it. Certain brands of jelly for their PB&J sandwiches. So in addition to hearing crickets, they're eating them. Maybe being in Asia does something to their minds (or stomachs). I performed some scholarly research on this. </div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Formicophilia is liking being crawled on by insects, although I'm looking for crawling down the GI tract.</li><li>Cnidophilia: fondness of stings</li><li>Entomophobic: <i>fear</i> of eating insects</li><li>Ok, I found it.. <i>anthropo-entomophagy</i>. It would probably be entomophilia if it produced a sexual thrill.</li><li>My favorite: coitophilia: fondness of coitus. Isn't that called Normal? Even for married guys?</li></ul><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Two companies are selling Moon burials for your ashes. Nothing thus far on live burials.</div><div>Naturally there are complaints, sure as there is air (or isn't, in the case of the Moon). This time it's the <a href="https://arstechnica.com/space/2024/01/navajo-objection-to-flying-human-ashes-to-the-moon-wont-delay-launch/" target="_blank">Navajo</a>, who hold the Moon as sacred, so any burial desecrates the Moon, even non-Navajo. The companies will continue, giving the Single Finger Salute to the Navajo. Tough call. I'd have to go with the burial companies... we screw up and pollute everything we touch; the Moon is the obvious extension.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>This is why the aliens are pissed at us</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of aliens, it turns out the mystery has been solved! 25 years ago, the aliens landed, learned the language, and have been living among humans. We are unaware of this because they're in Scotland, where nobody can understand <i>either</i> of them.</div><br /><br /><br />Experimental <a href="https://arstechnica.com/science/2024/01/experimental-antibiotic-reveals-entirely-new-way-to-kill-drug-resistant-bacteria/" target="_blank">antibiotic</a> kills deadly superbug, opens whole new class of drugs</div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Pfizer doing the Happy Dance<tm></i> </div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> I don't like touchscreen typing, even after all these years. This was brought home after finding some of my old phones with real honest-to-goodness tactile keyboards. I long for the mechanical feedback of my old Crackberry and Treos. Somebody came out with a very interesting <a href="https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/01/clicks-is-a-139-iphone-case-for-people-who-hate-touchscreen-typing/" target="_blank">case</a> for iPhones that has a keyboard at the bottom. But that's for iPhones. ThermionicEmissions is strictly an android shop. I still start to burn and smoke when I walk by an Apple store. The smell is horrendous.</p><p>Speaking of nostalgia, the endless stream of it is amusing and confusing. You can now spend tens of thousands of dollars on ancient video games and players. A couple of automobiles are patterned after muscle cars, although they fail. I want a car just like a 1980 Cadillac, a 1990 Town Car, and a 1975 Station wagon, complete with Real Imitation Woodgrain paneling on the sides. People who used to drive them and people who saw them call them Land Yachts, and they were the most comfortable cars to drive and passenge. We do not have a comfortable car anymore. I do not want a BMW or Mercedes - they may handle well, but they ride like crap.</p><p>It worse in the UK, where everybody drives these tiny little death traps, which make my Hyundai like like a full size limousine. What's worse, many of their transmissions expect the driver to shift their gears. I dunno about you, but I am secure enough in my manhood that I don't need to shift gears all the time; I prefer to let the expert (the transmission) shift the gears for me. Yes, I have driven manual transmissions, but I think they should be made illegal, except on some trucks. If you keep the manual transmission on tractors, you add a whole new dimension to Drunk Tractor Driving, the state sport of Kentucky.</p><p><br /></p><p>The IRS is testing an online tax submission program in 0 states. The main opposition comes from... wait for it.... Intuit (maker of TurboTax). I think credit should be given where it's due - to the IRS. They barely have time to wallow around in the $80 billion gift from President Giveaway. The IRS should be shut down; this alone should get people to vote libertarian.</p><p><br /></p><p>I'm minding my own business in my office, when the dog walks by with something large and brownish. It's always a good thing to catch up with her to see what she has this time. This time it was a piece of rye toast, with butter. Rye toast. What use could a dog possibly have for rye toast? When she manages to snatch a burger, she leaves the bread; she's not into carbohydrates. Yet she's carrying around rye toast. </p><p>It makes one curious about how things went in ancient times, when dogs were wolves. They were carnivores. Know why? Because when the male wolves went out and hunted, the female wolves could not bake bread and after that, could not toast it. Dogs would never have evolved if wolves had to argue about what to put on they rye toast: butter, margarine, real imitation butter-like substance, jelly, jam, preserves, peanut butter, or leg of yak. </p><p>After all this careful thought I put into the matter, she took 2 bites and left it on the floor. This must be what it's like to have kids.... constantly running around, picking up their partially used food and toys. I maintain my dog is cuter than a kid and causes less damage.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-4972921965057325192024-01-07T04:00:00.006-05:002024-01-07T04:00:00.133-05:00I'm, Like, Crushing it All Day LongYou probably heard that idiotic phrase on a CBD commercial, or from your slow teenage daughter.<div>Watching the commercial is the closest I've come to CBD, not to mention the closest I <i>want</i> to come.</div><div>If one believes the commercial, CBD slows you down, perks you up, sharpens you, dulls you, takes away pain, and gives you the energy to go out and get some <i>more</i> pain.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's a lot of results (most of them contrary). The more thoughtful of you, with more than 2 live brain cells, as opposed to the commercial's target audience, wonder how the drug can sharpen AND dull you. There is no answer, unless you just take the commercial on faith. <i>Ask Jim and Tammy Bakker about faith</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm sure there are no side effects, or maybe they forgot to mention them. Can you imagine what they'd be?</div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Don't take CBD if you're allergic to CBD. Side effects can include flipping off police, going to jail, waking up in strange dryers, saying "Wow, man" a lot, spitting out your pancreas, and constantly losing the CBD container. Don't take CBD if work tests your urine or if you just like to play with urine. WARNING: if you spill CBD on your clothes, do not eat them or try to shove them up your nose. Come to think of it, try shoving your clothes up your nose - you looking stupid really amuses us</i>.</div></blockquote><div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Words Mean Nothing</b></span></div><div><br /></div><div>One of the things about the English language is that it drives everyone else crazy. Just try learning English. Go ahead - try. In fact, it would benefit you to learn English, especially if you were born here.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Police Division</b></div><div><br /></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Calm down (sometimes used with Relax): these words mean less than nothing, especially if spoken to an agitated person (or any woman)</li><li>Stop resisting: these words are spoken by police. They mean "You're going to get a beating," or "Stop moving around while you're getting your beating."</li><li>I promise: this actually means "I swear." "Officer, I <i>promise</i> you I didn't shoot those puppies."</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Retail Division</b></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>20% off</li><li>on sale</li><li>Black Friday</li><li>gets out all stains</li><li>tastes better than the other laundry pods</li></ul><div><br /></div></div><div><br /></div>Meet ‘Link History,’ Facebook’s New Way to <a href="https://gizmodo.com/meet-link-history-facebook-s-new-way-to-track-the-we-1851134018" target="_blank">Track</a> the Websites You Visit<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Not having a Faceyspaces account is <i>killing</i> me. <i>You are automatically opted-IN, you have to opt-OUT. Better yet, opt-OUT of Faceyspaces.</i></div></blockquote><p><br /></p>How watching beavers from space can help <a href="https://arstechnica.com/science/2023/12/how-watching-beavers-from-space-can-help-drought-ridden-areas-bounce-back/" target="_blank">drought</a>-ridden areas bounce back<div></div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>BEAVERS FROM SPACE!</i></div></blockquote><p> </p>Fetuses make a protein that causes morning <a href="https://www.sciencenews.org/article/morning-sickness-pregnancy-nausea-vomiting-fetus-protein" target="_blank">sickness</a> in pregnancy<div></div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Your fetus wants to <b>kill</b> you. Do the right thing and stop making them</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p>FDA would like to stop finding Viagra in <a href="https://arstechnica.com/health/2023/12/fda-would-like-to-stop-finding-viagra-in-supplements-sold-on-amazon/" target="_blank">supplements</a> sold on Amazon<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>For sake of clarity and accuracy, this is only if you go to <b>Amazon</b> and order "<b>Big Guys Male Energy Supplement</b>."</i> So don't do that, ok?</div></blockquote><p> </p>Google agrees to settle Chrome <a href="https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2023/12/google-agrees-to-settle-in-chrome-incognito-mode-class-action-lawsuit/" target="_blank">incognito</a> mode class action lawsuit<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>What does this mean? It means evil lying Google tracked you while you were in incognito mode</i>. Use Firefox or the open source Chromium.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><a href="https://arstechnica.com/health/2024/01/big-pharma-to-raise-us-list-prices-of-500-drugs-in-january-report/" target="_blank">Big Pharma</a> to raise US list prices of 500 drugs in January: Report<div><i>The hikes come as drug makers face new federal rules to try to drag down prices</i>.</div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">So. Much. Material. Here.</div></blockquote><p> </p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-19257627500337102662024-01-04T04:00:00.010-05:002024-01-04T04:00:00.142-05:00Does Duct Tape work in Space?We just passed New Years day. For the somewhat impaired, this means we passed New Years eve.<div>We were invited to the normal place for NYE. Have you ever had to go somewhere and while getting ready, realized you'd be much happier not going? Maybe boiling your hands in some water or shaving your own ass? That didn't happen to us. Instead, we just sat there and stared, realizing that to go to the party, we'd actually have to get off the couch and <i>move</i>. This is easier said than done. We knew we'd have a good time, but staying seated seemed like a lovely idea.</div><div><br /></div><div>Mrs. lefty, not a girly girl, said she'd be ready shortly. Apparently Mrs. lefty had transitioned into a girly girl, because shortly turned out to be 45 minutes. I kept wanting to point out that we were already 2 hours late, but I like my reproductive bits.</div><div><br /></div><div>Finally on the road, we began our game of pissing off every other driver on the highway, by only doing 20mph over the speed limit. There was honking, there were fingers raised in salute, there was laughing. We noticed that there was little traffic, both ways. Like everything else, people were probably celebrating online, maybe over at Amazon. Or we hadn't driven close to any bars.</div><div><br /></div><div>At the party, the poor host probably got tired of people asking, "What's THAT?" after I walked away. The food was smashing: we bought Death by Chocolate cake, and most of the rest of people bought cannolis. What are the odds that most of the guests would bring the same thing, no less the same thing being cannolis. When does 'cannoli' pop into your head? Was there a sale on cannolis at every store? I'm not complaining - I like cannolis. It's one of the few cheeses I eat, probably due to sugar content. Everything I eat is due to sugar content, especially drinks. I drink like a girl when I drink. Get me a frozen strawberry margarita and I'm happy as a Biden after a nappy.</div><div><br /></div><div>While we contemplated cannolis and the imminent fall of the ball, I asked Wife about the traditional Midnight Kiss. She said yes. I asked where. She said lips. I asked which. She said northern. So it was going to be <i>that</i> kind of new year. And, true to form, the lefty Show was off on its New Year's day. My first 3 transactions failed: I couldn't get a receipt for gas, couldn't get an advertised milkshake at a convenience store, then couldn't replace it with the candy bar I wanted. Seems like I was starting things off right.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Happy New Year, dear folks</b>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Resolutions</b> are a sticky subject, as no one in the history of the world has ever kept one, especially the ones with 'weight' in the title. I don't even bother making them, because I'm just setting myself up for failure and I do enough of that already. OK, the truth is that I won't remember making them on January 2. I might not even remember them next December. So why bother? But since this is my blog, it is incumbent on me to come up with a few, off the top of my balding pate...</div><div><br /></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>grow my hair back, everywhere except the ears</li><li>continue to not see the dentist, with no ill effects, in spite of their pleading text messages and calls</li><li>keep everybody well, including the 4 legged one</li><li>spur world peace</li><li>get work to stop with the constant meetings</li><li>get companies to stop with the constant billing me</li><li>grow a few inches (vertically, at first)</li><li>stop the use of 'super' (that was super cool)</li><li>replace Jeff Beck as World Guitar God</li></ul><div>I don't find a single one of them ridiculous or unattainable, provided I can remember I made them.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>2024 will, by virtue of being a new year, have to be better than 2023. Yes, I'll have to spend a few months getting used to writing 2024. 2023 was just shit. Losing Jeff Beck is still a shock to me. He's been my idol since the 80s... we were deprived of further joy by bacterial meningitis. His musical legend will never die.</div><div><br /></div><div>Oh yeah, my mom died also (cue wise remarks about my priorities). I am deprived of further joy by Alzheimer's.</div><div><br /></div><div>I spent the great majority of my life trying to be independent, starting as a child. The other day I watched a child go to his mother for comfort. I'd love to have that chance again. Bring independent, I'd never take it, but knowing it was available would be comforting.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>As forced vacations go, this was the least horrific of them. In fact, I have to go back to work, like the rest of you. Yes, I could take more vacation days, but I'm told it doesn't look good taking January off. So I sat there, watching each hour go by, thinking of what I failed to accomplish on said vacation, and thinking of the joys awaiting me upon returning to work.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>BATMAN - Men in Tights</li></ul><div><br /></div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a href="https://www.sciencenews.org/article/reindeer-sleep-eat-chew-arctic" target="_blank">Reindeer</a> can sleep while they chew<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>So can Congress, if you can catch them in office</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> </p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-45753547502567333242024-01-01T20:27:00.000-05:002024-01-01T20:27:01.217-05:00Put the Kids in the Toaster - Americans Idle is on!So yeah, I'm almost barely continuing to try to enjoy my forced vacation. For you down south, I'm fixin ta enjoy mah vacation. One part of any vacation I'm totally behind is sleep. In fact, it could be said that I'm behind sleep all the time, especially when awake. Naturally that was not to be this morning, when I was exposed to the first performance of <b>Concerto for Trash Can and Concrete</b>.... <div><br /></div><div>As anyone who has read this blog knows, I'm not exactly a fan of classical music. It's not that I actively don't like it... moreso that I don't hear it often, then don't like what I hear. Now that I have experienced more of it, I can appreciate the highs and lows, the subtle differences, and the different movements. For instance, at 8:00 this morning, I heard the subtle prelude to <b>Concerto</b>, which was a rake moving <i>slowly</i> across concrete. Repeatedly. Toward the end of this prelude, the rake was joined by wheeled and hurled metal cans. These were not the 3' tall trash cans, no sir; that's for the radio version. These were taller than the average neighbor, who had to move them to the curb, slowly and noisily, with the added thrill of falling down on top and bottom of them. </div><div><br /></div><div>I am thankful that I slept horribly, lest I would have missed this symphony of life. I might have slept through a defining piece of my own musical growth. Why was I half awake, you ask? "Wife," I answer. Wife had to rise at 6:30 for reasons even <i>she</i> didn't understand. This causes a chain collision, with her getting herself up every hour so she doesn't miss the alarm. In bed. Out of bed. In bed with potato chips. Out of bed. By the time the alarm goes off, she is way too tired from being up every hour and sleeps right through it. Added to this is the idea (incorrect, mind you) that because I sleep through the dog sitting on my chest, I obviously can't hear anything that goes on either. I have been awakened by her putting together furniture and metal racks for her clothes. The other morning it was cursing because the dog unplugged the air conditioner. Although it hurt, I failed to ask why this was a problem at 4am, in the middle of winter. I finally fell back to sleep, to the gentle sounds of the circular saw; she was building a nice frame for the bed.</div><div><br /></div><div>As we rocketed into the First Movement, we were treated to the sounds of the Automatic Can Picker Upper Truck. It has that arm that grabs the can, dumps it into the truck, then goes to the next house. The unions had a fit because the truck took the place of 5 workers, so the trucks were outfitted to make the sounds of grunting, talking, and kicking the cans down the street.</div><div><br /></div><div>Next came the al Dente section. This is when it gets really quiet and you pray that the piece is over or that you experience a quick, painless death. But no, you will never be given peace, and at this point, the neighbors start talking to each other. About nothing. In 12 groups of 3. They wind up louder than the voices in your head, which are all screaming <b>NOOOOOOO</b> by now. It's even worse than the 1-800-MONEY commercials. You start checking for a pulse and wonder if 911 has gotten a lot of calls about heart attacks or people gouging out their own eardrums. These are the kind of haters who can't enjoy classical music and should be avoided at all costs. </div><div><br /></div><div>Not at all mindful of your prayers, the piece goes back to the cans banging, all with the rakes on concrete underpinnings. I am told to think of the rakes as a drum beat. Or a full drum set so large, the drummer cannot escape from it - it has to be build around him, like Justin Trudeau's dresses. FINALLY the song fades out to the sounds of neighbors burying other neighbors under the concrete that is being raked to put up a pear tree for the partridge to nest in. The African Partridge, of course... the American Partridge is sitting in front of the tv, watching <b>The Masked Furry</b>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I can honestly say this Xmas has been the most recent Xmas ever. I truly mean that.</div><div>Who in the entire state has an 8' Eeyore with a Santa hat in the front yard, with a spotlight? Just us.</div><div>For those of you playing along at home, this is the closest we've come to Xmas decorating in about... oh... 15 years. So this is definite progress, or so the doctors tell me. The other real Xmas decorations have migrated from their usual hiding place (how the hell do I know - that's why it's a hiding place) to the general room in which the tree is located. Yes, we have the only black Xmas tree on the block. It also works well for Halloween, provided we get the neighbors' shrunken heads up before the candy goes out. The neighbors are not sure what to do with us, but I get the feeling this started long before Xmas. I'm not sure of the protocol here... do Xmas decorations in the vicinity of the tree stay there til the middle of January or do they go back to their hiding places, until (very) late December?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>What did I get for Xmas?</div><div>As Charlie Brown said, "I got a rock."</div><div>To be fair, I asked for nothing; all friends and family complied.</div><div>Wife, however, was not so lucky. A large, heavy box arrived. In it was another large heavy box, that said SHARK on it. Dear readers, I'm positive we're all thinking that sharks don't come in large heavy boxes, except in practical jokes. And the joke was on us.... it was a vacuum.</div><div>Our history of vacuums is not a pretty one, just like the guy who operates them. With 2 longhairs (and pets), the job is not taken lightly. We've had well over 12 vacuums, plus a shampooer that is still in a facility somewhere, laughing inappropriately and taking its meds on time. You see, all that hair just screws up the vacuum, to the point we become Vacuum Experts from taking it apart, especially when there's a clog. If vacuums aren't supposed to clog, put a sticker on them: <i>WARNING - this vacuum will not function long when used to pick up stuff and things. Return it to the place of purchase and pay for a more expensive one</i>. The most effective and long lasting vacuum is a cheap little red plastic thing (because the green plastic ones don't work as well). It actually ran for 3 years, before it ejected what was left of its filter and left for that great vacuum graveyard in the sky. So now we have a Shark. It's purple., which is good. It's got that blender clear plastic thing so you can watch the dirt swirl. Funny story: the model without the plastic blender on it sells less than the higher-priced model you can watch the dirt with, but there's no difference between the two.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>So Kanye has apologized to all the Jews the world over for his constant antisemitic rants. He admitted he was mistaken and did not want to cause any problems because of his 20 years of squawking. Kanye said he now has nothing against the Jews, even though they own the record companies and the banks. He realized the problem today is not the Jews, it's the n*ggers.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-34504778145659799752023-12-24T15:14:00.000-05:002023-12-24T15:14:30.773-05:00I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa ClausLadies, gents, and readers of ThermionicEmissions: Happy Whatever.<div>We celebrate xmas, but only in the most commercial sense of the holiday. With a black xmas tree. We have a blue garland and I suggested wrapping it around Santa's neck, but I was overruled by She Who Must Be Obeyed. Yes, it's xmas day, and we're still considering decorating. We're lucky to get the tree out. Oh, who am I kidding, the black tree is for Halloween (last year), and also didn't get decorated for it. To emphasize the positive, the decorations have gotten really <i>close</i> to the tree this year, so that's something....</div><div><br /></div><div>Things are <i>different</i> at ThermionicMansion.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm just happy to get a blog entry happening on xmas.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Once again I have a buttload of vacation days to burn up or I lose them. Work won't pay me for them, so once again, it's Forced Vacation! This means a lot of sitting, so we had to prep the couch. Mrs. lefty has been spending too much time in close proximity to me (some say <i>any</i> time near me is bad) and has decided to stay in for Forced Vacation and xmas. Her close 473 relatives will <i>not</i> be happy. They expect I won't show up, but she kinda has to. The first year it was pretty bad; we walked in and I developed fear of people and dove under the first table I could find. Unfortunately (or fortunately) it was the women's table and there were a lot of short skirts. But the noise was so bad, I couldn't stand it; like when I went to the dentist and was so afraid, I didn't even look down the shirts of the dental techs.</div><div><br /></div><div>I watched early on and noticed one of the brothers-in-law dropped off his wife and either stayed in his car or left. This became a goal of mine, one I have more than succeeded in. It drives Wife crazy, because they all still love me and say nice things about me. When Wife spends a lot of time visiting her parents, Dad says to thank me for letting her come. I play stupid, but inside I'm laughing hysterically. The key here is to set expectations (to zero) early on, then show up once a year or three. It's like Christ has come back and is playing guitar and singing (Black Sabbath) songs for the family.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>My parents are steadfast in their decision to remain dead, so the holiday has changed a bit for me</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I feel the need to compose an xmas ditty.</div><div>We know I'm a bit skewed. As a result, it's very difficult to get me presents.</div><div><br /></div><div>On the first day of xmas, my family gave to me</div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div>One gallon of cologne</div><div>And a yappy little rodent-type dog.</div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div>On the second day of xmas, my family gave to me</div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div>Two ugly sweaters [redundant, I know]</div></blockquote><p> etc etc, like I'm going to type this all out.</p><div><br /></div><div>3. a Taylor Swift cd</div><div>4. three matching mittens</div><div>5. Five Golden iDevices</div><div>6. a comb for my Male Pattern Baldness</div><div>7. ads on my blog</div><div>8. two right handed guitars</div><div>9. President Giveaway t-shirts</div><div>10. Dubya-signed plaque proclaiming America the smartest dang ol' city on Earth </div><div><br /></div><div><i>On second thought, no new songs</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-43077504455097877272023-12-23T04:00:00.054-05:002024-01-02T14:23:10.708-05:00Happy WhateverYes, Happy Whatever. It keeps the whining down.<div><br /></div><div>Just remember to keep the <a href="https://www.spaghettimonster.org/" target="_blank">Flying Spaghetti Monster</a> in Xmas!</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe7LgMqg5DxfQdCrdjo_NfKEJJ3I_h8AywxOmBr8JSHHqlNVwgQs_Pja_sbv872HGmE-fAa5rAYkN8o-XN99s6nLMMvxYpafTGf0RSw-bm7a5HGP9Cydv1rC3bOgLee-y4Fg2IwYFEo3nJGH3I6edlUeR2qNmR4QCiaA9whWCQNhMBRPwGBev5npnVd6U/s900/fsm1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="771" data-original-width="900" height="274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe7LgMqg5DxfQdCrdjo_NfKEJJ3I_h8AywxOmBr8JSHHqlNVwgQs_Pja_sbv872HGmE-fAa5rAYkN8o-XN99s6nLMMvxYpafTGf0RSw-bm7a5HGP9Cydv1rC3bOgLee-y4Fg2IwYFEo3nJGH3I6edlUeR2qNmR4QCiaA9whWCQNhMBRPwGBev5npnVd6U/s320/fsm1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><b>John Schneider</b>, actor who played 'one of them dang Duke boys' and vociferous 2nd Amendment supporter, is in trouble. Again. He had a lot to say during the Alec "I never pulled the trigger" Baldwin trial, and he seemed largely correct. Now, not so much. He suggested publicly <a href="https://deadline.com/2023/12/john-schneider-secret-service-joe-biden-hanging-comment-1235680080/" target="_blank">hanging the president</a>. I want to drive home to my new readers that this is NOT a smart thing to say. I'm absolutely certain that Joe needs no help. Oh, and when someone threatens the president, even President Giveaway, the Secret Service takes offense. </div><div><br /></div><div>John had a few good points in his new deleted x/Twitter rant, but ThermionicEmissions does not condone violence. ThermionicEmissions recommends throwing them all out at the <i>voting booth</i>. As Joe was installed at the voting booth, ThermionicEmissions is very disappointed in some of you.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12886827/UFO-Air-Force-1-Joe-Biden-Los-Angeles-LAX.html" target="_blank">UFO</a> caught on camera hovering over Air Force 1 at LAX during Joe Biden's fundraising trip to Los Angeles<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>I told the aliens not to bother, but they wanted to see what kind of extraterrestrial the president is</i>.</div></blockquote><p>Naturally the UFO was variously identified as lenticular clouds, ducks, Roseanne Barr, those meddling kids, and of course, swamp gas. Freedom of Information act requests will read that there was nothing above the president's plane and that's their final answer. </p><p>An LAPD helicopter was seen orbiting the object. Because if there's a vehicle that can cross space and time, then hover above the main man of the free world, for sure a helicopter will be able to handle it. They used their bullhorn to tell the object to PULL OVER or they'd hold them down with their knees until they couldn't breathe whatever it is they breathe.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><a href="https://arstechnica.com/cars/2023/12/turquoise-taillights-tell-you-this-mercedes-is-driving-autonomously/" target="_blank">Turquoise taillights</a> tell you this Mercedes is driving autonomously<div></div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div><i>Mother to children: if you see turquoise taillights, STAY AWAY FROM THE CAR.</i></div><div><i>If you see a Mercedes, stay away from the car. BMWs too. Their drivers are complete assholes.</i></div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Musk floats idea of boat mod for <a href="https://www.theregister.com/2023/12/19/musk_says_boat_mod_package/" target="_blank">Cybertruck</a><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>because the truck keeps rolling its windows down when it detects water</i>.</div></blockquote><p> </p>When do <a href="https://www.sciencenews.org/article/cats-fetch-play" target="_blank">cats</a> play fetch? When they feel like it <div></div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>was there ever a more obvious answer on this blog?</i> </div></blockquote><p>We had a cat who would initiate playing fetch and stay with it. We had to stop when the dog kept insisting the ball was his. When the cat died, the dog grieved for months.</p><p><br /></p>Tesla recalls every car with Autopilot as feds say it’s too easily <a href="https://arstechnica.com/cars/2023/12/more-than-2-million-teslas-are-being-recalled-due-to-unsafe-autopilot/" target="_blank">misused</a><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Finally, the federal government admitted Americans are too stupid to drive</i>.</div></blockquote><p>Now that they got away with it, look for more things Americans are too stupid to do:</p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>brush their teeth</li><li>vote (for other than R or D)</li><li>cross the street (oops, jaywalking fines go to $1,000)</li><li>think (oops, COVID, do what you're told)</li><li>own a dog without a license</li><li>this sure ain't working out like I thought it would</li></ol><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div></div><p></p>Your Smart TV <a href="https://themarkup.org/privacy/2023/12/12/your-smart-tv-knows-what-youre-watching" target="_blank">Knows</a> What You’re Watching<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div><i>I've been saying this for years. Think about your Fitbit, car, phone, phone apps, and anything that connects to the net. We need to demand better (and not use this garbage).</i></div></blockquote><p><br /></p>Tesco recalls Christmas stuffing mix because it may contain <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-67710700" target="_blank">moths</a><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p><i> The British Moth Marketing Board is seeing red and wants you to know that there are many tasty stuffing dishes one can prepare with moths, so snap these up while they're still around.</i></p></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> </p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-2760683041474931872023-12-20T10:07:00.000-05:002023-12-20T10:07:10.803-05:00Help, My Wife is a PlantIt was late. I wanted to go out because it was late. No problem, malls are open late before xmas.<div>Except this year. They close at 6pm on Sunday (6:34 in New Jersey). I was sad. Let's face it - because of the sad state of retail, I am usually sad. Well, the sad state of retail and the refusal of the doctors to give me the meds that work, instead of the ones that make my hair grow only on the left side of my body.</div><div><br /></div><div>Naturally I blame this on President Giveaway and Idiot Governor Tom Wolf, who put mandates in place during the Flying AIDS pandemic and closed businesses and randomly decreed other businesses 'essential.' I wonder what it looks like inside malls. My guess would be Empty. As empty as it has been all year. All malls we visited were uncluttered by those nasty stores. At least one had a Cinnabon, which made the trip tolerable.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I was sad and Wife did the smart thing; went to bed (naturally with Dog trailing her). It was the smart thing because it's not pleasant to be around me when I'm sad; less so when I'm angry. Things tend to go flying across the house. Things like glasses, Heffalumps, and 1970s Chevrolets. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's not that we're those odd pet owners, but Penny's not quite the puppy she was and the bed is really tall, so we bought her some stairs so she could get in the bed. Aside from Cockers for Cold Cuts, her other charity is Sleep Number Beds for Cockers. She was apoplectic when she heard other cockers don't have sleep number beds. She likes to stretch out. Unfortunately the sleep number bed belongs to the <i>humans</i>, but we learned to adjust. It's not that I sleep deeply, but I hear tell that the dog sometimes sleeps on my chest or my head. I laughed because I can't get W<i>ife</i> to do this.</div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of which, after we got married, we vowed we'd never go to bed angry. <i>That's why I've been awake for the past 18 years</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>After Thanksgiving, Black Fridays, Cyber Monday, Giving Tuesday, there's now Green Monday, which I believe is any Monday after Cyber Monday, retailers are out of their minds, trying to come up with more stupid sales days... let's help, shall we?</div><div><br /></div><div><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>Bottom of the Barrel Monday</li><li>Shopping for ME weekend</li><li>Gift Card Tuesday</li><li>Buy a Stupid Gift Week</li><li>Not Really a Sale Wednesday</li><li>We're Out of Stock Thursday</li><li>Nose Hair Clipper Friday</li></ol><div><br /></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Little Johnny's mom took him shopping, then remembered why she hasn't taken him shopping the past year. Little Johnny is going to grow up to have a blog, because he doesn't know any better and has no filters...</div><div><br /></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Mom, that guy is a trans... transsexual, like Dad watches when you're not home.</li><li>HEY LADY - stop picking your nose and eating it!</li><li>Mom, that lady has a leash on her kid. Why can't I follow them and bark?</li><li>Look! That lady has no arms!</li><li>Hi, Mrs. Smith. What's a hooker? Mom says you dress like a hooker.</li></ul><div><br /></div></div>Tesla recalls every car with <a href="https://arstechnica.com/cars/2023/12/more-than-2-million-teslas-are-being-recalled-due-to-unsafe-autopilot/" target="_blank">Autopilot</a> as feds say it’s too easily misused<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">As much as it pains me, I have to agree with Tesla, but the correct title of the article is "Tesla recalls every car with Autopilot as people are too stupid to use it correctly."</div></blockquote><p><br /></p>Dropbox spooks users with new AI <a href="https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2023/12/dropbox-spooks-users-by-sending-data-to-openai-for-ai-search-features/" target="_blank">features</a> that send data to OpenAI when used<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><i> You can opt-out but it ain't easy</i> </p></blockquote><div><br /></div>Humana also using AI tool with <a href="https://arstechnica.com/science/2023/12/humana-also-using-ai-tool-with-90-error-rate-to-deny-care-lawsuit-claims/" target="_blank">90% error</a> rate to deny care, lawsuit claims<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Humana sees nothing wrong, and is pretty excited by this result. Their humans only managed an error rate of 80%, so now more claims will be denied (especially cancer patients).</i> Let's face it, folks... insurance is where you bet a very large, powerful corporation that they'll pay your claim. As they say in Vegas, "The house always wins."</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> Let’s attempt to decode Google’s confusing new <a href="https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2023/12/googles-confusing-new-location-settings-hide-data-in-two-different-places/" target="_blank">location</a> data settings</p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Let's not. Just say NO to Google</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p><b> Time slows down - really.</b></p><p>As I was sailing down over the steps, using air-gravity as the method, for the nth time, I think maybe it's a good idea to put a mattress at the bottom of the steps. A mattress and maybe one of those "I've fallen and I can't get up" buttons. No matter how many times I remind myself to remain in contact with ALL the steps, I find myself taking the airborne shortcut. Thus far I haven't hurt my head too badly, although many will argue this point. I have a doozy of a nasty-looking line on my arm. People might say I tried to commit suicide, but it's too far up and in the wrong direction. This goes to show you how bright people who say I tried to commit suicide are. </p><p><br /></p><p>Xfinity waited 13 days to patch critical Citrix Bleed 0-day. Now it’s paying the <a href="https://arstechnica.com/security/2023/12/hack-of-unpatched-comcast-servers-results-in-stolen-personal-data-including-passwords/" target="_blank">price</a></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>For those of you playing along at home, there was a nasty flaw in some Citrix equipment. Xfinity did not patch the flaw immediately and got hit. Data on 36 million customers is in the hands of hackers. As for Comcast paying the price, I'm sure a very serious wrist-slapping is in order.</i></div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>As we're watching commercials (the only thing left on tv), we start to notice people wearing these glasses that appear to be made of very dark I-beams. Mrs. lefty says they look like they're wearing <i>furniture</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-65053683297250427622023-12-14T09:53:00.001-05:002023-12-14T09:53:52.338-05:00Is the Glass Half Full or Half Empty? It's Both, you Nimrod<div><br /></div><div>While I'm sitting there, trying to decide whether my pancreas pain is mild to moderate or moderate to severe, I look down into a large zippered bag with art supplies. Naturally the 'I Can't Believe it's not Butter,' spray is there. Naturally. I mean, what kind of idiot doesn't go there to look for butter substitute?</div><div><br /></div><div>We have 2 remotes. Ok, actually we have 12 remotes, in the Remote Bag, but only 2 that are functionally used daily; 1 for tv power, 1 to change channels, volume, and intelligence of the commercials (forever broken). I noticed it was broken when I tried to raise the IQ of the commercials for a car online purchasing service (Car-something, right?). The denizens of the commercial, all hopped up on some recreational pharmaceutical or other, are insane with glee because they can set their payments. Some hurt their legs from jumping up and down. Others blow out their voice shouting. And the ringleader is sometimes this long-haired lady with zero softness and zero likability; the kind of lady who stabs her coworkers when they're not looking. In fact, she's downright nasty. Now I'm generally good at figuring out who this crap is marketed to, but this leaves me baffled. It's borderline insulting. I'm thinking maybe kids who listen to Taylor Swift (because no adults listen to Taylor Swift) or people who soil their panties when numbers change on their phones or there are pretty pictures, or people who just like buying alligators. Last night every commercial break featured this commercial, resulting in a result the car company thought about: people hate the commercial so much they won't use the service. This does not affect me, as I hate <i>everything</i>, long before the commercials appear.</div><div><br /></div><div>As you'd expect, 1 of the remotes went missing. This is somewhat surprising, as 1 is used right before the other, the result being that 1 is used right <i>after</i> the other one. Only at ThermionicMansion, we get worried if this <i>doesn't</i> happen. And sure enough, we were short 1 remote. The problem here is that it's the channel-changing remote, so we were, in the vernacular, fscked. Fortunately and surprisingly, the Flying Spaghetti Monster looked down upon me kindly and the tv was already tuned to the channel I sought (the one with the 1970s show 'Emergency,') because I like to watch it at lunch, and because it doesn't treat the viewer as if all their brain cells suddenly went to North Dakota in the middle of winter, for a nice warm vacation. </div><div><br /></div><div>You have to know what happened next, right? After a 57 minute search, the errant remote was located, in an upstairs bedroom, in a hidden spot under the floor, in yet another zippered art supply bag. Since the concept of just putting something back in its correct place is way too bizarre for the people (and animal) that live in the house, I decided that we will no longer have art supplies in the house. Mrs. lefty suggested we put them in the basement, but I overruled this, as we'd have to walk downstairs to find the remotes or lettuce.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Pharmacies share medical data with police without a <a href="https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/pharmacies-share-medical-data-with-police-without-a-warrant-inquiry-finds/ar-AA1lnK9t" target="_blank">warrant</a>, inquiry finds<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Shocking! No, wait, what's that other word.... <i>expected</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p>The growing abuse of QR codes in malware and payment <a href="https://arstechnica.com/security/2023/12/ftc-warns-consumers-to-beware-of-qr-codes-used-in-malware-and-payment-scams/" target="_blank">scams</a> prompts FTC warning<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"> <i>lefty says Just Don't. These codes can take control of your phone or parts of it. There is little in a QR code that can't be found on a website.</i></p></blockquote><p><br /></p>Proposed US <a href="https://www.theregister.com/2023/12/12/setction_702_renewal/" target="_blank">surveillance</a> regime would enlist more businesses<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Big brother, big sister, big business. 702 up for renewal - contact your reps and tell them NO. Don't listen to any crap about the terrorists and child pornographers winning; this is our right to privacy!</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><br />5 Most <a href="https://itsfoss.com/privacy-web-browsers/" target="_blank">Privacy Focused</a> Web Browsers<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Written from an open-source/linux POV, it holds for any operating system. Notice that Chrome isn't there. You can do a lot with Firefox, which remains my recommendation. </div></blockquote><p><br /></p>Tesco recalls Christmas stuffing mix because it may contain <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-67710700" target="_blank">moths</a><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Aside from that, it's perfectly fine</i>.</div></blockquote><p> </p><a href="https://www.theregister.com/2023/12/13/maven_mars_solar_wind/" target="_blank">Solar wind</a> gave Mars a breather and its magnetosphere inflated<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Good... now the Rover can keep its hat on</i>.</div></blockquote><p> </p>H&R Block launches <a href="https://www.theverge.com/2023/12/14/24000368/hr-block-taxes-generative-ai-openai-microsoft" target="_blank">AI</a> tax filing assistant<span class="font-polysans text-22 font-light leading-110 md:text-30 lg:block"><span class="text-blurple"></span></span><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Yeah, let's use AI against the IRS. What could possibly go wrong?</i> </div></blockquote><p> </p>Your Smart TV <a href="https://themarkup.org/privacy/2023/12/12/your-smart-tv-knows-what-youre-watching" target="_blank">Knows</a> What You’re Watching<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Of course it does. It's been doing it since smart tv's came out. Told you so</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> </p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-71377470910955476872023-12-11T10:54:00.001-05:002023-12-11T10:54:38.388-05:00Princess Excretia<div><br /></div><div>Yeah, the title refers to Dog, whose new meds make her pee a lot, sometimes in the house.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Your love is like</b> random excretia from Dog (or cat) (or service elephant)</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Worm’s <a href="https://arstechnica.com/science/2023/12/bizarre-worm-can-detach-its-own-butt-and-make-it-swim-away/" target="_blank">rear end</a> develops its own head, wanders off to mate<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Some would say this explains Congress, bur I hold out for the entire political process these days</i>....</div></blockquote><p> </p>HP printer app is installing on PCs whether they have <a href="https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2023/12/hp-printer-app-is-installing-on-pcs-whether-they-have-hp-printers-or-not/" target="_blank">HP printers</a> or not<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Which, as they say, can be a real bummer if you don't have an HP M106w</i>.</div>"MS says printers should mostly still work."</blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><i>These guys are hysterical.</i></p></blockquote><p> </p>You Say Potato, I Say It’s a <i>Vegetable</i>—a Loaded Topic for Debate<div>US Diet Committee Debates Whether Potatoes are Vegetables or 'Starchy Grain'</div><div> <blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Your tax dollars at work: botanists say potatoes are a vegetable, but the US Diet Committee says they're an airplane. <i>We sure contribute a lot of tax dollars</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p>A maverick physicist is building a case for scrapping <a href="https://www.sciencenews.org/article/gravity-quantum-mechanics-physics-theory" target="_blank">quantum gravity</a><blockquote><div>“When we started, maybe 99 percent of our colleagues thought we were
crackpots and that’s now down to maybe 70 percent,” quips Oppenheim, of
University College London.</div></blockquote><p><i> What they don't know is that 70% is the threshold of gravity in quantum physics. Or Doom Theory</i>.</p><p><br /></p><b>23andMe</b> updates user agreement to prevent data breach <a href="https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/news/security/23andme-updates-user-agreement-to-prevent-data-breach-lawsuits/" target="_blank">lawsuits</a></div><div><br /></div><div>CEO: What's with our security?</div><div>CIO: We sent it off to vacation in the Virgin Islands.</div><div>CEO: When?</div><div>CIO: Only.... about.... a couple years ago.</div><div>CEO: Well, at least it wasn't a decade.</div><div>CIO: [silence]</div><div>CEO: 5.1 million users had information leaked!</div><div>CIO: Yeah, that's a real shame.</div><div>CEO: The Virgin Islands are an expensive place to live when you have no job, Bob.</div><div>CIO: Don't worry, I have it all wrapped up.</div><div>CEO: How?</div><div>CIO: We just change the user agreement so they can't sue.</div><div>CEO: I take it back, you can go to the Virgin Islands with full pay. Just send Security back.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Teslas will be able to automatically call 911 if you get in a <a href="https://www.theverge.com/2023/12/9/23994910/tesla-2023-holiday-update-apple-podcasts-911-calling" target="_blank">crash</a><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">You're saying to yourself that this is the second useful feature on a Tesla, after the fire extinguisher. Unfortunately, it won't dial 911 if if the crash is a Tesla-caused problem; only if it's the driver's fault. </div></blockquote><p><br /></p>Mystery of the Missing ISS <a href="https://gizmodo.com/nasa-iss-tomato-found-frank-rubio-1851084372" target="_blank">Tomato</a> Finally Solved<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Thank God. Some of the wackier astronauts claimed that the tomato was actually running the ISS. The Pentagon said Jesus ran the ISS. The tomato was lost months ago, out of shame, when Russian astronauts fought American astronauts over whether the tomato was a fruit or a vegetable. The reason the Russians left is that they discovered the tomato is actually a screwdriver. <i>It kept their air leak under control for a few months</i>. The tomato joins a vintage Playboy, a 3oz Subway hoagie, and the only functional pens on the entire ship. When asked for comment, the tomato said, "It's frightening - there are over 9,000 pieces of space junk and nobody driving. It's like a Tesla with no auto-drive. The entire ship is full of poop and the aliens tell really bad jokes. "</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> </p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-71786168951934900642023-12-05T16:20:00.003-05:002023-12-05T16:20:53.901-05:00Be Decisive - more or less<div><br /></div><div><b>Your love is like</b> shredded wheat</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>The surprisingly robust careers of <a href="https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2023/12/live-long-and-prosper-a-retrospective-of-video-game-roles-played-by-star-trek-actors/" target="_blank">Star Trek</a> stars who became video game voice actors. <div>Later this week, we'll have a war in Comments about which Star Trek was the <i>real</i> Star Trek.<div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Roar of <a href="https://arstechnica.com/science/2023/12/roar-of-cicadas-was-so-loud-it-was-picked-up-by-fiber-optic-cables/" target="_blank">cicadas</a> was so loud, it was picked up by fiber-optic cables<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>It turns out more cicadas than thought visit Pr0nhub</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p>Hackers stole ancestry data of 6.9 million users, <a href="https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2023/12/hackers-stole-ancestry-data-of-6-9-million-users-23andme-finally-confirmed/" target="_blank">23andMe</a> finally confirmed</div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Told you so, only I told you it was via (already) sharing with law enforcement</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><br />Automakers’ data privacy practices “are unacceptable,” says US <a href="https://arstechnica.com/cars/2023/12/automakers-data-privacy-practices-are-unacceptable-says-us-senator/" target="_blank">senator</a><div></div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Then he went back to his nap. Just kidding, this is Markey, who occasionally has some good ideas about privacy</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p>California pilot who <a href="https://www.yahoo.com/news/california-pilot-crashed-plane-youtube-201728505.html" target="_blank">crashed plane</a> for YouTube clicks is headed to federal prison<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>but he got the views! Pretty soon you won't be able to step outside for the falling planes for views</i>.</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p><br /> <br /><span style="color: #ffa400;">Plants may be absorbing <a href="https://newatlas.com/biology/plants-absorb-more-co2/" target="_blank">20% more CO2</a> than we thought, new models find </span></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #ffa400;"><i>Well, isn't that interesting</i>....</span></p></blockquote><p><span style="color: #ffa400;"> </span></p><span style="color: #ffa400;">COP28: Head of UN talks hits back at climate <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-67612929" target="_blank">denial</a> claims</span><div><span style="color: #ffa400;"><br /></span></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #ffa400;"><i>strange coincidence, no?</i> </span></div></blockquote><p><br /></p>UK porn watchers could have faces <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-67615719" target="_blank">scanned</a><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><i>annnnd it begins.....</i> </p></blockquote><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>FDA warns chemical company not to mix brake cleaner into <a href="https://arstechnica.com/health/2023/11/fda-warns-chemical-company-not-to-mix-brake-cleaner-into-hand-sanitizer/" target="_blank">hand sanitizer</a><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><i>This is <b>not</b> the first warning</i>....</p></blockquote><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDgeCGAwH1OqQOdDMV_xwC1Is6jfGK3aq1_NJRL8NhW2zhoMU7vgmhxQjoSg1Bs5RQqdxeD-rYbIXIO2oMn7otgOnUdTYeq5yciQR4MayLKnqwqR_EMgbC5Wfu8nu-DA2ZTT5kWihvx0avWkui7i_a1m6tw4m4MUkBnXfrR3TfUX5QjbMry5aOn51latw/s4656/horseradish%20root.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4656" data-original-width="3492" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDgeCGAwH1OqQOdDMV_xwC1Is6jfGK3aq1_NJRL8NhW2zhoMU7vgmhxQjoSg1Bs5RQqdxeD-rYbIXIO2oMn7otgOnUdTYeq5yciQR4MayLKnqwqR_EMgbC5Wfu8nu-DA2ZTT5kWihvx0avWkui7i_a1m6tw4m4MUkBnXfrR3TfUX5QjbMry5aOn51latw/s320/horseradish%20root.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Horseradish root - a favorite of women everywhere</i></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-80299125205247253992023-12-01T04:00:00.152-05:002023-12-01T04:00:00.145-05:00The Pitter Patter of Nuclear Weapons<div><br /></div><div>Mom said, "You're not like the other boys, lefty.</div><div>Wife said, "Your brain does not work like other people's."</div><div><br /></div><div>What you mean is that my brain doesn't <i>work</i>. You can't fool me, with yer motherly love and yer wifely tolerance.</div><div><br /></div><div>After putting together an external fan to cool a laptop, I realized I neglected to consider the negative effects of the dog interfacing with the power supply. In one move, she pulled both wires apart, which then shorted out, taking out the wall wart. Today I figured I'd like a little (more) aggravation, so I determined the wall wart was heaven-bound (or wherever wall warts go), located another wall wart, of the proper voltage, soldered it to make it 10% more dog-proof and it worked. Sure, it's louder than a 767, but the laptop is cooler.</div><div><br /></div><div>Except the soldering. Once again my hands shook like a 90 year old meth freak with Parkinson's. The really smart person inside of me, way down deep, so far he's almost never seen, said I should go see a doctor; any doctor. I'm starting to think he might be right.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div>I have a box where I put all the superfluous wall warts and laptop power supplies. The professional people on tv, with initials after their names and tv shows guaranteed to last at least a week, would call me a hoarder. But when my fan needed a 12v wall wart, I dug into said box and pulled one out. When the dog shorted that out, I went back in the box and pulled out <i>another</i> wall wart. That's not hoarding; that's being prepared for future dog-related electronic circumstances. <i>Just don't ask me about my stash of resistors, capacitors, and tubes</i>.</div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I'm going to guess there aren't a lot of electronic hobbyists reading this blog. The blog's title, ThermionicEmissions, refers to how vacuum tubes (valves in the UK) work. I'll just do this for me...</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Why do you have so many capacitance meters?</i></div><div>I like diversity.</div><div><i>How is that diversity?</i></div><div>I take a capacitor and measure it on 4 meters. Each result will be wildly different - that's diversity.</div><div><i>Then how do you know the value?</i></div><div>It's printed on the capacitor.</div><div><br /></div><div>If my wonderful readers promise to have their friends read the blog, I promise no more electronics humor.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>So let's set our scopes on <b>Wife</b> instead.</div><div><br /></div><div>There are many things I don't understand. Getting married proved there were many more. </div><div><br /></div><div>Me: Honey, why are there upside down soda cans in the sink?</div><div>Her: Oh, I had to drain them before throwing them out.</div><div>Me: Ok, but why are they still in the sink?</div><div>Her: I am working more efficiently... I turn them upside down then go on to something else.</div><div>Me: I see. But they're still in the sink, thereby cutting efficiency by 50%.</div><div>Her: Were you thinking of sleeping on the couch again tonight?</div><div><br /></div><div>I strongly suspect that is related to this:</div><div><br /></div><div>Water is boiling. The whistle from kettle is deafening. People across the state know we have achieved very hot water. The instigator of this is nowhere to be found. Finally she comes through the door, cursing and screaming.</div><div><br /></div><div>Me: Why are you screaming?</div><div>Her: Stupid water is boiling.</div><div>Me: Did this come as a surprise, after turning the burner on? Perhaps you could stay in the general vicinity of the water, then you don't have to come running while cursing its parentage.</div><div>Her: But I'm getting other things done...</div><div><br /></div><div>Efficiency, as it turns out, is <i>not</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div>Her: Yes it is: I get <i>you</i> to do it, cutting 50% of my duties.</div><div><br /></div><div>Guys, no matter what you think your wife's IQ is, she's <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpmbP61Kg68" target="_blank">smarter</a> than you.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Amazon packages reportedly overwhelm small post offices, <a href="https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2023/11/amazon-packages-reportedly-overwhelm-small-post-offices-delaying-other-mail/" target="_blank">delaying</a> other mail<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">When they say 'delaying,' what they mean is that there is an agreement that Amazon packages have priority over regular old USPS letters. That's right - Humongo Corp now runs the US Postal System. On the other hand, it probably can't get much worse...</div></blockquote><br /> <br /><a href="https://yro.slashdot.org/story/23/11/21/2220242/ceo-reminds-everyone-his-company-collects-customers-sleep-data">CEO Reminds Everyone His Company Collects Customers' Sleep Data</a><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Remember this: Fitbits, watches, phones, games, and everything else collects data. Your data, which isn't yours anymore. The article is about a 'smart mattress topper.'</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> </p><div></div>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-18643170912091542692023-11-28T04:00:00.064-05:002023-11-28T10:32:19.633-05:00Nasal ImperativesA phone manufacturer named Nothing has ported Apple IMs to android.<div><i>Why</i>, you ask?</div><div>Nobody knows, but it was shut down in <a href="https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2023/11/nothings-imessage-app-was-a-security-catastrophe-taken-down-in-24-hours/" target="_blank">24 hours</a> (ok, it was a security issue).</div><div><br /></div><div>Let's be serious - who wants those stupid bleeps and bloops and ridiculous visuals? Android users are still pissed we have to put up with iDevice 'liked that message' notices. Guess what... I don't <i>care</i> if you liked my text or not. I do not derive my ability to get through another day because you liked my post. Or 12 friends liked it. I'd never do that. <i>Except on my blog</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>One of those endless Black Friday promos touted mouse pads.</div><div>Mouse pads?</div><div>Did Consumer Reports buy a bunch of them and test them? What was the testing criteria? Shape? Smoothness? Reaction from people you steered by them? Funky colors? Use as a tissue?</div><div>We've gone nuts.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Some picky Australian mosquitoes may target <a href="https://www.sciencenews.org/article/australian-mosquitoes-target-frog-nostrils-blood" target="_blank">frog nostrils</a> for blood</li><li><i>and here we thought they were merely a delicacy</i>..</li></ul><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Deep space astronauts may be prone to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/nov/22/deep-space-astronauts-may-be-prone-to-erectile-dysfunction-study-finds" target="_blank">erectile dysfunction</a>, study finds<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Well, there goes all the ThermionicEmissions reader astronaut job applications</i> </div></blockquote><p><br /></p>Study: The serotine bat uses its <a href="https://arstechnica.com/science/2023/11/the-strange-sex-life-of-the-serotine-bat/" target="_blank">super-large penis</a> as an arm when mating<div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>So? Don't we all? Drives the female bats crazy!</i> </div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p> I got nothing for Thanksgiving. That's ok, I did want anything.</p><p>I also got nothing on Cyber Monday. What a stupid concept. Black Friday starts in October, and there are many of them.. they line up, like North Korean government officials, waiting to be shot. Next year, Black Friday will occur in February. Cyber Monday will start on Sundays. Now there's a Giving Tuesday. I like that one - I'm going to give myself a break from all this crap. The xmas trees have been out since July, but didn't fare too well this year due to climate change.</p><p>Now that I think about it, I did want something for Thanksgiving: turkey. I don't know what it is but I have trouble getting turkey on Thanksgiving. While some would consider it rude to demand a host serve a certain dish, mine has this fascination for lamb. To the best of my knowledge, the Pilgrims didn't fsck sheep, so I'm going with turkey. Mind you, the dog appreciated the hell out of the lamb, which came home in the appropriately-named doggie bag. Bless them, there was a turkey this year, but we were terrified of what might happen to it - perhaps a turkey stuffed with lamb (or tomatoes), so we had a few large boxes of Stove Top stuffing in the car, just in case. Another guest was from Colombia and brought a traditional dish that involved poorly-cooked yellow rice and stuff. I hear Colombia was pretty mad and sent something else.</p><p>When there is no turkey, Mrs. lefty says she'll make a small one at home, then promptly forgets. I decline to remind her because I like my testicles. Mostly, I really want a vat of vanilla buttercream icing, like Mom used to make.</p><p>My dish is always dessert. It's usually something chocolate and very heavy to carry (and eat). This year it was a pumpkin pie (with lamb) and a very heavy peanut butter/chocolate pie.</p><p>While I got vanilla and chocolate buttercream icing (and a spoon), Mom used to bring the best cake anyone ever had to events. It was a very heavy chocolate cake, with chocolate buttercream icing. Everybody went nuts over it. There was a little coffee in the icing, which only made it better. Mom played a really insidious joke on the family by telling us the cake recipe was on the chocolate tin. No member of the family could make the cake like she did. Mom literally took the recipe to the grave...I have to admit, she got us good.</p><p>It's been 3 months since she departed. Her ashes sat next to the table so she got to celebrate with the family. I suggested her ashes could summer at our house next year. </p><p>We all miss her terribly. The grief sneaks out here and there, triggered by a situation or word. Whenever anybody says 'icing,' I'm inconsolable for hours.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-62077581106363046912023-11-23T04:00:00.001-05:002023-11-23T04:00:00.137-05:00Happy TurkeysAbove all, I hope you have something to be thankful for (aside from this blog).<div>You may have to look very hard, but find it,</div><div><br /></div><div>This has been my worst year in recent memory, with the loss of my mother. As I look back, the years seem to be getting shittier and shittier. Yes, I haven't been run over by something with tires the size of me, but that's not entirely one of those things you're thankful for... maybe I can make a list to help myself and others find something to be thankful for:</div><div><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>no airplanes crashed into you or your home (that you know of)</li><li>you didn't exercise and die from it</li><li>no nuclear war (your city is a primary target, you know)</li><li>pr0n finally came out in your area of interest (no, not the donkeys, please)</li><li>the doctors said you're clear</li><li>you only have to log in once to view ThermionicEmissions - bloody Google</li><li>enough shit happened to me to keep the blog interesting</li><li>you weren't in any poorly-constructed deep underwater craft when it imploded</li><li>you didn't kill that prick who cut you off (the cop behind you helped)</li><li>no satellites fell out of orbit and landed on you</li></ol><div>I hope that helped.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>After turkeys, it's Black Friday. You know, the original Black Friday. Not the ones that seem to have popped up and called themselves Black Friday. I joked that pretty soon, Black Friday would be in February, and it looks like it's on its way. I wasn't sure I'd see the day when games and headphones would be the major items to kill people for in stores. Could you imagine the Eternal Shame of being killed in Walmart, during a Black Friday, reaching for some ear-covering, noise-cancelling headphones, with the option of being able to hear through them? The headstone would be particularly depressing through the ages..</div><div><br /></div><div>HERE LIES JOHNNY.</div><div>HE WENT IN TO WALMART ON BLACK FRIDAY AND NEVER CAME OUT.</div><div>1999-2024</div><div>Pray for his soul.</div><div><br /></div><div>It probably doesn't get any better when you die and go to heaven, or that other place that has the strippers (and the lawyers). </div><div><br /></div><div>What happened to you? </div><div><i>I was in Walmart on Black</i>... </div><div>HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sucker! Are you mentally challenged or something? Go sit in the back. St Peter and his posse will be here soon to individually laugh at you.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of Black Friday, the NAACP and Jesse Jackson have completely failed to protest the name, as demeaning to blacks (or something). I think they took a payoff from Retail.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The bad news: war is ramping up all over the planet</li><li>The good news: arms sales are through the roof! The military industrial complex never loses!</li></ul></div><br /><br /><br />Reflecting on 20 years of Patch Tuesday - <a href="https://msrc.microsoft.com/blog/2023/11/reflecting-on-20-years-of-patch-tuesday/" target="_blank">Microsoft</a><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Yup, it just keeps growing and growing</i>...</div></blockquote><p><br /></p><p>Asked about Thanksgiving, President Biden said he loved to see all those cute little bunnies on the White House lawn.</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Conversations with my dog</b></p><p>Her: I've been thinking.</p><p>Me: Uh-oh.</p><p>Her: No, it's a good thinking. I want to give back, since you've been so nice to me.</p><p>Me: That's certainly a good thing. What were you thinking of?</p><p>Her: I'd like to be one of those service dogs for the police.</p><p>Me: That's quite selfless of you. But I doubt the police need a tuna-locating dog.</p><p>Her: I'll re-think this and get back to you. By the way, got any tuna?</p><p><br /></p><p>I read that if you look in the sky, under certain circumstances, you can see tools. No, really. During a recent out of the capsule repair mission, a tool bag floated away and has been determined not to be in a dangerous orbit. So if you have a moment, try to locate the Magic Tool Bag.</p><p>Because if it had been in a bad orbit, that would have been most unfortunate. The Russian side of the ISS could get a screwdriver through it. <i>Not that this will prove to be a bigger leak than the current ones</i>. In spite of the leak(s), the Russian side of the ISS keeps trying to invade the American side, claiming the Americans started it.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-27899018344831392722023-11-19T04:00:00.019-05:002023-11-29T10:36:56.440-05:00Canada Canada, Ship 'Em Off to Canada<div><br /></div><div>Barbara Streisand, inspiration for the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect" target="_blank">Streisand Effect</a>, says she '<a href="https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2023/11/14/watch-barbra-streisand-says-she-cant-live-in-u-s-if-trump-becomes-president/" target="_blank">can't live</a>' in US if Trump becomes president. (apparently no one told her Trump was <i>already</i> president)</div><div><br /></div><div>Although this would at first seem like a present, we must remember just four or eight years ago, when over 100 celebrities large and small pledged they would move to Canada if Trump got elected. How many of them moved? Absolutely zero. None. Nada. Zip. So much for the promises of celebrities.</div><div><br /></div><div>Streisand goes on to praise President Giveaway, saying he has done a good job and supports the right things. Huh? If Babs so desperately loves the way Biden gives away her money, perhaps she should just give it away to us or the deficit. <i>And he supports the right things</i>. Yay - I voted him in because he supports the right things, even if he doesn't support them in office. I want to tell the aged singer that politicians lie, but don't want to give her that sort of shock at this time in her life. She also refers to Bill and Hillary Clinton as "the most appealing couple." Who taught this lady how to vote? Obviously <i>nobody</i>. Barbara needs to get with the people who keep Kamilla Harris quiet; they would be perfect for her.</div><div><br /></div><div>Barbara's empty threat comes at the perfect time, as the actors' strike is over, so the poor unfortunates can afford to move. Has anybody called Canada yet? Oh, poor thing, the Canadians hate us too, so the over-privileged will have to find a different country for emigration purposes. Never mind the Canadians hate Trump - you are painted with the same brush because you're an American. We don't do this in America, or we'd think every Canadian was a rights-grabbing pussy who was way too in touch with his feminine side.</div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">PS <i>Vote Green Pen or libertarian. R or D won't help us anymore than it has</i>.</div></blockquote><p> </p><div><br /></div><div>So you have to know it's Laptop Time.</div><div>Silly person, it's <i>always</i> Laptop Time at ThermionicMansion.</div><div>At the moment, there is exactly one laptop that performs as advertised; an ancient 13" Dell, with vacuum tubes. Being a 32 bit machine, not everything will run on it, but at least linux keeps it running fast. </div><div><br /></div><div>Just the other day, I picked up some laundry to fold and a shirt grazed a large glass of chocolate milk, hurling the brown liquid all over the place. In 6 months, I'll still be finding chocolate milk stains. Without hesitation, I grabbed the large plastic glass and saved a few ounces of the chocolate goodness, after which I hurled it across the room, depositing chocolate milk upon the rest of the things in the living room (and basement and roof). It left a huge hole in the glass too, which would make it a great joke glass, but I left it on the floor for a few days, to let it think about its error and how it would behave better in its next life.</div><div><br /></div><div>An hour later, the Dell laptop seized. Needing a logical opinion, I dug up Sir Arthur Conan Holmes, who examined the situation and said that it was categorically the chocolate milk that affected the Dell. I looked at him kinda funny, and not only because he was dead. There were 4 drops of liquid on the keyboard, which hadn't dropped into the laptop. Nevertheless, when I went to reboot, it made all sorts of hideous noises, shrieks, and beeps. Motherboards have a beep code to tell you what's wrong. I was going to look it up, but 15 seconds of too many beeps to count put me off the idea. So I did the only logical thing I could under the circumstances: I cried.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next day I felt up to a challenge, albeit not one as large as getting a laptop fixed, but I'm brave, also known as Stupid, and have no fear. I went over that laptop top to bottom. I did exactly what Dell technicians told me to do on every call I ever made: reseat the memory. This is Dell's answer to everything. After we manage to blow up the planet, there will only exist cockroaches, Keith Richards, and Dell Service. When you call Dell to tell them the planet just blew up, they'll immediately suggest you open the small door on the bottom and reseat the memory.</div><div><br /></div><div>After that little exercise (exercise being fatal), I got the amount of beeps down to a few hundred and somehow made the laptop boot up. I was well pleased with myself (<i>chuffed</i> in England, <i>huffing</i> in certain parts of Philadelphia). Later when I turned it on again, I discovered there was a small issue: the keyboard didn't work. Like I said, the tiniest of problems. The laptop suggested I hit F3 to bring up the onscreen keyboard. Ummmm... if the keyboard is broken, I can't use it to bring up the digital keyboard, can I? I dared not call Dell, because I had already reseated the memory. So the laptop is now fully functional, unless I want to do something that involves typing. Boy did I duck <i>that</i> bullet.</div><div><br /></div><div>I could check email on my android tablet, but it takes 23 hours to charge, goes through the battery in 2 hours, and the big one; I couldn't find it. The more-than-likely broken power jack laptop has applied for a replacement jack and been selected for one, at $25 for the jack and THIRTY DOLLARS TO SHIP IT A FEW STATES AWAY. It will still take a week.</div><div><br /></div><div>There is actually another laptop, that can best be called functional. Better yet, <i>semi</i>-functional. It is also old, and weighs more than a Kenworth truck. The only reason it's not my main laptop is its annoying habit of overheating and freezing up at the slightest provocation, like looking at it the wrong way, or going hmmmpf on certain days of the week. While this is perfectly ok for a work laptop, I need a personal laptop that more or less stays on while I'm working on it. My requirements are unreasonable, but that's why I get the Big Bucks (no I don't). As it is an old, large laptop, it's missing the 47 screws it would take to enter it if it were a newer laptop. In fact, it opens right up. This is when I notice there are two huge fans, which are currently entertaining themselves by not working. I replaced them already, which means it's not the fans. Being Brave (Stupid) ends here: we're now well above my pay grade. </div><div><br /></div><div>There are these really cool laptop board fans that are supposed to cool your laptop. Naturally I don't have one, but they're really cool. I've pretty much narrowed down the problem to lack of working fan, so this would be the ideal solution (as buying more laptops clearly didn't work). I knew what I had to do: put on my Bob Villa/Fred Sanford hat and make some sort of external fan cooling system. When I say 'external fan cooling system' I mean putting a fan near the heat vent.</div><div><br /></div><div>This is where things got really interesting (or earth-shatteringly boring). I needed to search my Fred Sanford junk palace to make things work. After 3 hours, I discovered I had ripped my pants AND I had no fans. I have a very large 24" room fan, but something told me it might be a little loud (and windy). AHA - I said to myself, because when I say it out loud, it frightens people. That broken computer power supply has a FAN in it. This was the 2nd part of my Wonderful Journey... all I needed was one of those old wildlife experts to lead me around, looking for parts, and telling me what the Great Horned Fan does in its natural habitat (it eats boats). With the discovery of the fan came the discovery that it needed to come out of the power supply, largely involving wirecutters and a small screwdriver. Since wirecutters are like pens (never there except when you don't want them), I continued on my Jungle Discovery, wherein the aged host led me up on the roof to locate the wild wirecutter in its natural habitat. The joke was on him, as we need a new roof, so all the wirecutters abandoned it last year. I've been in electronics since I was old enough to electrocute myself, so I have developed quite a store of wirecutters, only I have no idea where they are. My house is a large and scary place, made moreso by my presence. There are floors beneath floors that aren't even on the blueprints. Wife says there's a whole city full of guitar stores under the basement but I tell her it's not true. The city of guitar stores is in the Guitar Room - no need for elevators. </div><div><br /></div><div>Finally there occurred a distant spark in my gray matter (grey matter in England). If I got out the backhoe to where I keep the guitar cases, there <i>might</i> be wirecutters to cut strings. Keep in mind that so far I've been to the basement, guitar room, and computer office, and all I have is a fan in a power supply and a pair of wirecutters. But we're not even close to done: the wirecutters are so old, they're locked together, so it's off to the back room to find WD40 to unlock the cutters. Back in the office, I removed the humongous fan from the power supply and discovered it was a 12 volt fan and the laptops only provide 5 volts. Back to the basement, to find a wall wart that put out 12 volts. This project was like inadvertent exercise; every step involved 45 steps (and 3 floors). I tested for voltage, wired it up, and BOOM - an external cooling system. Well, although I didn't electrocute myself, I did have 2 wires sitting out that probably shouldn't come together, lest my cooler get really hotter. So... HEY - WHERE'S MY FRIGGIN' DUCT TAPE? No duct tape, no fabric tape, no Scotch tape, none of those little wire nuts that always fall off anyway. Off to yet <i>another</i> room where tape is occasionally found. 2" wide clear tape is now keeping the wires from shorting. The bonus is that you can see them, like they're under glass or something exotic. The aged animal show host would have lost his mind on this, but he's taking his nappy and he lost his mind many years ago. Whenever he sees a lion, his staff has to physically keep him from going to pet the nice doggy.</div><div><br /></div><div>So there it was: 3 little parts, from every room in the house. Here's the hard bit (you mean it gets <i>better</i>?): there aren't a lot of hole slot thingies on the laptop, so it's hard to figure out where to put the fan (that is now 3x too tall for the laptop) and to figure out whether it needs to suck or blow (that's what <i>she</i> said). It didn't seem to matter, so after eating an entire day, I had a free, fan-based, external cooling system for a laptop. Translated, that means I can now go spend $50 on a lapboard laptop fan thingie to cool the laptop down. With that kind of time waste, I should be in government.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>The above great idea worked for 2 days, then was 'slightly interrupted' by Overly Friendly Cocker Spaniel. She MUST be right in the middle of things, so when I stood, she walked away, taking the fan with her and pulling some wires that looked important.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6051539070412892060.post-42927331037514285152023-11-16T04:00:00.214-05:002023-11-16T15:39:30.265-05:00Dust off your X's - Xmas is coming!<p> </p><p><b>Your love is like</b> prune and prawn cocktail</p><p><br /></p><p>Ladies and blog readers: we have no time in our lives for people who say 'OMG' out loud. These people need Internet Lessons at a special camp for a few years.</p><p><br /></p><p>I'm at that point again: forced vacation. This is when I have to take my accrued vacation days or I'll lose them. Since I like to work, I have a few vacation days left (last I checked, 137 days). Ok, I'm kidding - 37 days. Last year and all the years before it, I didn't bother planning so I wound up taking December off, plus every Monday and Friday or so. Definitely every Saturday. Since I only waited til Halloween this year, I managed to not take any full months off, even though my appearances in December are still pretty sparse.</p><p>I mention this because I'm not like other people. No, really. Like other special people, I require structure. At home there's no structure, so unless there's something interesting to do (or Wife is screaming at the top of her lungs), I kinda default to my comfy chair [PUT HIM IN THE COMFY CHAIR!]. Very little gets done, and that's the crux of the biscuit. For some people, this is not a good thing. I am one of them. But sit I do. I need to read the news to find out which of our mortgage or credit card companies has been breached this week (by a vulnerability that has been known about for months). </p><p>Plus you never know how it will go if I get bored. It could take me all the way to the deep end and I'll do something unthinkable, like clean. Or I could get up to Mischief. I had to cut down the mischief after Mrs. lefty took up martial arts (although I prefer marital arts). Now I get her input before Mischief, and only commit it outside the house.</p><p>So I'll be reporting: Updates from the Chair</p><p>I will be 'politely requested' to do some home chores [I WANT THAT NEW FAUCET IN THE BATHROOM BY END OF WEEKEND or you don't eat] or take the car out for a wash [why do you wash a car - it only gets dirty as you drive out of the car wash - like making the bed]. I'd vacuum but out of the 14 vacuums making up our Vacuum Graveyard, only half of one works, and that's waiting for someone to take a second look at it (with a flamethrower, to clean out the dirt). Strangely, the only one that lasted more than a few months was the tiny, cheap, plastic, pull-along thingie. It's red. Vacuums frustrate me, like many things. They tend to clog up, but only in places where I can't find the clog. Or in the brush: between 2 people and a dog, there's enough hair in the brush to make up another 2 people and a dog. But mostly it's clogged so we can hear it but not find it. The little red vacuum (that couldn't) has no complex path for dirt, so when it clogs, as it is now, you can't find a single thing wrong with it. As I wait for Mrs. lefty's expert opinion (I always wait for the 2nd one, because the 1st one is invariably 'buy a new one'), I notice the household dust and dirt has gone past the 2" EMERGENCY mark and my guitar cords not only move, but something's speaking to me and it ain't the normal voices.</p><p>Soooooo I won't be vacuuming on forced vacation. I won't be shopping, as I hate people even more during the holidays. The mall around the corner has enough parking spaces for the entire city, but during the holidays, you can't find a single one. Little children are pulling their parents along, apologizing for the parents' behavior, the sales aren't, and you can't swing an unloaded flamethrower around without hitting people. <i>And why would you carry an unloaded flamethrower around anyway?</i> </p><p>Besides - the mall is missing all functional shops except Victoria's Secret and Cinnabon. The pop-up Halloween shop is still there, with all costumes 10% off. One must run the gauntlet of foreign-born men trying to squirt you with stuff you hope is perfume, and most of the 'stores' are 'kiosks'. At 10pm, everybody in the mall stops what they're doing and says, "God, I am sorry for whatever I did to deserve this punishment. I am shopping online starting tonight."</p><p>People are so frazzled, the 4 restaurants left in the 'food court' make tasty food, except for Chik Filet, which isn't open on Sundays and any other day with 'day' in it. I don't want to say this mall is past it, but Starbucks closed and ran away screaming. I don't want to seem totally negative about Starbucks - their caramel crunch is really good, when the machines aren't broken. I suspect it doesn't have any actual coffee in it, so be sure to get a shot of espresso with it. But since the mall still has a Cinnabon, get a mochalotta chill. It's the best thing to drink with your cinnabons (or without them, heaven forbid).</p><p>So I won't be vacuuming OR going to the mall on forced vacation. I will also not be going caroling, even with all the great carols I know</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Since girls, single girls, going all the way</li><li>[drummer boy] I'm hasidic, baruch atah tah</li><li>I saw daddy kissing Santa Claus</li><li>Mommy got run over by an armored personnel carrier<br /></li><li>Oh Tanenbaum, oh Birenbaun, oh Cohen and Slutzky</li></ul><div>I tried caroling once. One thing I never considered before caroling was what people would think, opening their doors to me. Suffice it to say that it didn't go well, kinda like Gaza. You just don't want to see me at your door singing Christmas carol parodies... except that one guy, but I don't think he was listening to me singing and I didn't like the way he was looking at me. It's ok... Mrs. lefty got me out of there in time. I couldn't picture myself mounted on his wall. Or in his living room. I will never understand why gay men like me so much. Sure, I'm gay-friendly, but not <i>that</i> friendly. If only women looked at me with that kind of leer..... Mrs. lefty would <i>kill</i> me.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I won't be vacuuming or caroling. Or a partridge in a pear tree. I have never seen a partridge, or a pear tree, so I couldn't make it real enough. It looks like my default: sitting. I do it well. And often. And playing the guitar - I do that decently and not often enough. And sex... I do that decently but not often, and usually by myself.</div><div><br /></div><div>I could frolic in the snow, but it hasn't snowed much and I don't really like snow. My frolicking days were over years ago. I could give out presents to kids, but they frighten me. Best to give out presents to their mothers.</div><div><br /></div><div>It turns out that after doing the Science, real and fake xmas trees are the same: neither do a thing until you do something. They both sit there in an uninspired heap until or unless you put them up. They both stay there for months after xmas unless you take them down. That's more responsibility and work than I'm happy taking on at the end of the year.</div><div><br /></div><div>So if I find anything to do over Forced Vacation that isn't sitting, I'll be sure to report it here.</div><div>Meanwhile, here is a carol I'm composing as I type... just in case you're wondering what to get your favorite blogger (or me) this year...</div><div><br /></div><div>On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Vanessa Hudgens</div><div>On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a 1958 left handed Stratocaster</div><div>On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: blogging lessons</div><div>On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: more true loves</div><div>On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 5 Sports Illustrated Supermodels</div><div>On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: an Alexander Howard Dumble amp</div><div>On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a non-cancerous cocker</div><div>On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a car that won't break or get hit all the time</div><div>On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a house that won't demand my salary</div><div>On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a wife in no pain</div><div>On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: world peace</div><div>On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Linda Fiorentino (and Vanessa Hudgens, not in a tree, on alternate days)</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm not supposed to know, but my wife wants to get me a jam session with my favorite guitar players, Jeff Beck and Jimi Hendrix. They're dead, so... <i>Ohhhh, I get it</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><p></p>leftystrathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09143495054981686671noreply@blogger.com0