Congress, ISPs, and Your Privacy

I'll be honest.. I haven't really studied the terms of the legislation allowing Internet Service Providers to collect your browsing data and sell it. I suspect the main thrust of the law is not data collection but I have other stuff to do, like type shit for this blog.

IF your ISP is allowed to keep and sell your data, rest assured it will. First suggested step is to call and ask them. Also tell them you don't want it done - perhaps there's an opt-out. At least you've registered your view. Call Congress and tell them no, this is not acceptable.

The fun part comes right after the above. If your response to data collection is "I've got nothing to hide - let them steal my data," you should probably read a different blog. Privacy aside, your provider is making money selling YOUR history. Then there's privacy.. no one really needs to know where you go and what you do, regardless of whether it's private, embarrassing, or not. If you don't do something, data collection will become the norm (almost like it is now, except it's not the providers collecting it).

There are three things we'll discuss to help keep your privacy: HTTPS, Tor, and VPN.

HTTPS is a secure internet connection. It shows up as a lock or something similar in the browser, by the address (URL) up top. Banks and credit card and retail sites use this by default. You should also use this by default. There are many browser add-ons/extensions that will make HTTPS your default. HTTPS Everywhere is very popular and available for most, if not all browsers. Best of all, it's completely free. Some browsers also default to HTTPS.

TOR is a network through which you can travel anonymously. It is also the gateway to The Dark Net, where you can buy stuff that is illegal and/or immoral, which I strongly recommend against. You can go through TOR to get to somewhere else, anonymizing your traffic. The TOR browser runs on all operating systems, including phones. It is based upon Firefox, so it will look familiar. Nothing appears different, although there will be a speed penalty. I would not watch video through it.

VPN stands for Virtual Private Network. It can be a free or paid service, generally paid. You install the software or settings, which magically allows you to browse through a machine that isn't yours, keeping your data free from prying eyes.


HOW DOES IT WORK?

Glad you asked.
We're not going to get too technical, as a service to you and to me, so I can type less.

With HTTP, your ISP (or pretty much anyone) can see where you're going and what you're doing. This is because the data is unencrypted.

HTTPS encrypts the connection, so your ISP can see where you're going but not what you're doing.

With TOR, your ISP will see you're going to an IP address called a TOR entrance node. The connection is encrypted so it can't see the data. Once in TOR, it cannot be traced. **When I say it cannot be traced, I mean nothing is perfect and it is fine to use it for general anonymity. The FBI has already developed attacks for TOR and has arrested Dark Web marketeers. There is also a fair probability the government owns some TOR entrance and exit nodes. Stay paranoid - it's your best weapon.

For privacy, the best thing going would be a VPN. All your traffic goes to the VPN site, through which you browse. The only thing the ISP can see is that you're going to the VPN site. They cannot see what you're doing and that's the last thing they can see. All browsing runs on the VPN server, so it's encrypted and cannot be traced (by your ISP).  **When I say cannot be traced, there are a few ways it can be traced, by law enforcement, after the fact. All VPNs will tell you they're 100% anonymous, including allowing you to pay by Bitcoin to protect anonymity. If you pay by credit card, you're already outed. Some VPNs maintain logs of all traffic. These logs can be subpoenaed and you're outed. Some VPNs don't keep logs - look for these. Also use a VPN that has a presence in a different country, especially if you're in the US. US VPNs are subject to US laws and you're outed. To your destination, you'll appear to be coming from a different country.

The decision is up to you.
Avoid HTTP - always use HTTPS.
TOR will let you surf anonymously at no cost.
A VPN is the least leaky solution and the preferred solution. There are articles with comparisons of VPNs, privacy-wise. Look them up. There are also browser extensions or add-ins that will make you appear to be coming from another country. These are fine for casual browsing but do drop hints as to where you are. They're better than nothing.

I hope this clarifies things. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. It is imperative that we maintain our privacy, regardless of content.

Spitting Out Your Pancreas

Just this past weekend, there was a Trump rally. The anti-Trump forces were out in number. One of them decided it would be a good idea to spray pepper spray in the eyes of the Trump supporters. Things backfired when the Trump supporters expressed their displeasure of this act and retaliated. The masked coward got what looked like a few black and blue marks, after which the police apprehended him.

Make no mistake, both sides had a right to be there. Assaulting people with pepper spray, or anything else, is not part of peaceful protest. This new assault tactic seems to fit with the the narrative that free speech is only for people who agree with them. Violence is justified against people who disagree.

• Just in case you missed this, I wanted to bring you a quote I just read: "A terrorist can kill many but blasphemy can hurt feelings of millions." So go out there today and make sure you hurt no feelings.

So you're working out like mad, but don't have the time or energy to keep track of your workouts? Now you can work yourself down to the store and get an Internet of Things Workout Glove! Don't you feel better knowing that your workout information will go up the chain to whoever makes the glove? Or after a while, someone will hack the glove, which will then force you to run down the street, barking like a chicken? 

• Behaving like the tired old caricature of Intrusive Government, the UK's Home Secretary has discovered that, in the recent terrorist attack, the terrorist may have used the encrypted messenger WhatsApp and said it's unacceptable that the government can't read these encrypted communications. Convenient, no? Using any old bad news to demand people give up liberties. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Patriot Act, anybody?  The good news is that it's not likely to happen (in this case). Study this and pay attention.. you'll recognize it next time it happens. The positive here is that experts are hitting back on the charge of 'aiding terrorists'.

The University of Regina brings 'Masculinity Confession Booth' to campus, where men will disclose their 'sins'. What will these women (and men) do when there are no functional penises left in the world?

• The UK's Daily Mail featured a picture of Theresa May and Nicola Sturgeon on the cover in skirts, with the headline 'Never Mind Brexit, who won Legs-It?' The entire United States wishes to thank the UK for at least momentarily winning the Stupid News Award and taking heat off us.

Microsoft president Brad Smith is against handing over customer data to any government unless it is "legally compelled to." Not sure how this differs from any other software.  This from the company that built back doors into its software for itself and the NSA.

• Oxford University will be putting up more pictures of women to redress the balance from the university's walls being lined with pictures of "dead white males". Oxford: since our tuition is ten times normal, we need to be ten times more ridiculous.

Just the other day, ISIS extremists threw a man suspected of being gay off a building, then pelted his corpse with rocks. Because the non-extremists wouldn't have thrown rocks post-mortem.

• Krispy Kreme has decided to change its name in the UK to Krispy Creme because people have trouble pronouncing Krispy Kreme. I don't know about you but I believe our brothers and sisters in the UK are more than kapable of pronouncing "kreme." Krispy Kream/Creme states categorically that this is not an April Fool's joke. Nothing you say or do this weekend will have quite the import of this announcement.

A Spanish rapper, Valtonyc, is appealing a three-year jail sentence for his lyrics. As you know, ThermionicEmissions stands firmly on the side of freedom of speech, which apparently Spain does not. Further, ThermionicEmissions would rather Valtonyc be imprisoned for his taste in 'music'.

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Marshall Update:

after interminable ear infections, surgical appointments, and one failed surgery, Marshall has seen his third doctor. His ear canals are calcified. I didn't even know this was possible and shudder to imagine it. He's in constant pain. The surgeon said leaving this alone will just keep him in pain that the meds will not adequately cover. So the recommendation is that they be removed. This will kill the pain and his hearing (whatever he has left). This is a lot to take in. It will also be a lot to pay. Surgeon says his other senses will take over and he is already starting to adapt to his hearing loss.

So if you have a moment, think some good thoughts for our 13-year-old furry child.  Thanks.

Sometimes you eat the pie and sometimes the pie eats you

All I Want for Christmas is Headache Relief

Mariah Carey is turning her song "All I Want for Christmas is You" into an animated movie with herself narrating. Because the world is crying out for it.  I know this because the local Fox morning show brought in yet another Yak Show Special Guest to tell us all about it.

Speaking of Hard Hitting News, Fox just aired their third segment on Flashy Nails with Sparkly Bits. This segment features a teaser, followed by two experts from a local nail salon applying these scandalous fake nails to the reporter's short and mangled nails. This is a breaking story that no doubt will involve international Special Reports every thirty minutes, with other networks gearing up their own coverage. When the story is beaten to death, which some will argue has already transpired, Mariah Carey will reportedly do a movie about it, with herself narrating.

• are you ready for the latest Big Controversy? A white man has been accused of Cultural Appropriation for painting a picture of a black man. I never studied sociology but this means something (aside from reaching Peak Stupidity).

A great feature of cell phones is the ability to install software and change things. For example, the standard Android keyboard and I do not get along. I installed a different one (after wading through hundreds of them, primarily concerned with emojis), with which I got on a little better. Here is where I start to blaspheme: I have a really good relationship with the keyboard on my work iDevice. While the thunder dies away, I have no idea why this is. It has tiny little keys, while I keep going larger with the Android keyboards.

Just for fun, I searched for an iDevice keyboard for Android. I installed the most popular one, which immediately started phoning home to China (I use No-Root Firewall, which tells me these things). This is what will happen to you if you install crappy software. Clue#1: subtle to hilarious English mistakes in the description. Check the privacy policy and whatever else is listed at the bottom of the software description. Also check reviews, making sure to look for English mistakes or obvious shills. Stick with popular software companies.

• In news guaranteed to amuse, The Turkish Hacking Family group claims to have access to over 300 million iCloud accounts and is threatening to remotely wipe this data unless Apple pays a ransom ($75,000 in crypto currency or $200,000 in iTunes gift cards). The deadline is April 7. Whether or not this threat is real, Apple is advising everyone to change their iCloud password and enable two-step authentication. This may or may not be the same group that is involved in The Fappening 2.0, exposing pictures of celebrities.

A Utah man was killed and his wife injured in the London Islamist terror attack. This won't go over well with the Brits but maybe it's time to arm... the police and other authorities aren't providing much cover here and ultimately it's up to a person to defend himself and his family. Something to think about..

I owe a heartfelt apology to the Swiss, who I accused of the London attack. Turns out it was a Muslim.

• I am a big fan of Android Forums. Lots of information and assistance for any android device. They just got hacked and a very small percentage of accounts lost a few bits of information - one report said it was forty. Guess who's one of the forty? Yup.

On the Stupid News File, after the obnoxious outside host kissed a camel, they ran a promo for a wedding dress show. One look at the lady in the dress said man. Yup, she's a transexual. Marrying another transexual. Hey, do what makes you happy, but the math here is staggering.  He has a full beard, meanwhile I can't grow hair on the top of my head.

• Just the other day, the Senate voted 50(R) to 48(D) to allow ISPs to sell your personal data. This is the headline but it's caught up in a different topic, namely letting regulations apply to all entities equally. Regardless, it's just your privacy. Early word is that the best way to prevent this is to use a VPN. Here's some info on how your information is collected.

If you're traveling from certain Muslim countries to the US/UK, you'll need to stow your laptop. In Serious Anti-Terrorism News, the US/UK have decided that you cannot use or carry your laptop to the US from certain countries. Authorities claim that this measure is not based on any intelligence. Well, it sure seems like a stupid measure to implement otherwise. And let's face it - it's going to be a problem regardless of where it goes boom. Security Theater.

• Two weeks after Failed Snowmageddon 2017, nobody has piled additional snow on my car. For this I am grateful. No local authorities have been involved but we have called in Cthulu to make a small statement to the (allegedly) adult miscreant neighbors.

Someone discovered a dishwasher with a web server. A web server. When it breaks or gets hacked (which it will), you have to get web server updates from a dishwasher company. What could possibly go wrong?  To be fair, this is an industrial machine for hospitals, which are fast becoming a rich target for hackers. This will not end well.

Antivirus company F-Secure released this list of most-used login/password combinations used to hack their honeypot (decoy for the purposes of collecting information) machines. Please don't use these.

• Good article on hack-proofing your smart phone. If you're lazy, you won't like this.

I'm in the middle of intensive training for this event!

Still Not Handling This Morning Thing Well

In case you were fretting that there had been no major hacks in the news lately, I've got you covered. A security expert warned Congress that DC's T-Mobile wireless network was hacked. The Department of Homeland Security was notified and would provide no further information.  This shows the dangers of using T-Mobile, living in DC, and talking to DHS.

• Check out this shelf of store-brand cereals. It was described as an old English army major, trying to find a euphemism for gay men.

The Super Sleuths of Edina, Minnesota's police department, are working a case of a (failed) fraudulent $28,500 wire transfer. So they went to court to get the Google searches of the entire city. The entire city. You're shaking your head - I can tell. It gets better: the judge granted it. It's bad enough that law hasn't caught up with the internet.. neither have the judges. And let's not tell them that Google isn't the only search engine. This is our future.

• President Trump released a requested budget. If you are alive, you've heard about it. One of the interesting parts is the cutoff of the National Endowment for the Arts. This is where the government gives a lot of money to artists to produce art. Already the arts community has weighed in, screaming that art will die without federal funding. This is complete doggie doo. The government has no business in the arts (or healthcare, but that's a different argument). People interested in art can pay for it, like buying music or going to the theater. This move not only saves tax money (for the armed forces, in this case), but it's downright libertarian.
• Another false argument, designed to cut off funding, is that the artists produce total crap. Well, yes, one can argue that Pisschrist is total crap (urine would be a more accurate description), but if art is to be funded, should there be a Taste Requirement? Isn't art subjective? I don't like what passes for art anyway. A Picasso line drawing of a hand holding flowers? Art?
• But then there's that part of the budget that cuts funds to Meals on Wheels...

If you have an internet-connected (Internet of Things!) security camera, CCTV equipment, or network recorders from AVTech, you're in deep doo-doo. It can be hacked, meaning it will be hacked. The manufacturer was alerted in October 2016 and has not responded. The servers used are located in South Korea.  There are no recommendations at the moment, although at least Trend Micro antivirus will detect it. If I had one of these devices, I'd pull it immediately.

• RIP Chuck Berry. Play on.

In other Hacking News, there's a Dark Web vendor selling three sets of five million Yahoo and Gmail accounts, complete with decrypted passwords.  They all seem to be from previous breaches of the systems.

• Next time you're in San Francisco, visit the famous Haight-Ashbury section and see the brand new Ashbury Tech. It's a computer store. No, it's a head shop. No, it's a computer store AND head shop! They were in the tobacco business for twenty three years and are expanding to computers. Hey, the price on that system seems a little high...

If you shop at Saks Fifth Avenue, there's a good chance your personal data was accidentally made public. The data was discovered on the store's website in plain text. You do NOT store ANYTHING in plain text, lest something stupid or malicious happen. So all of my readers who shop at Saks... sorry, I'll stop....

• The Fappening 2.0 is upon us. Remember the hack and leak of many celebrities' iDevices, turning loose all sorts of private, sometimes naked photos? They're at it again. Now that I have performed my important notification duties, I need to offer caution if you happen to be online and happen to accidentally click on a link to view these pictures. Don't. Many of the links are malware. Any link that asks you to install software to view pictures should set off red flags to begin with. At very least, hover over the links to see where they really go. Better yet, just don't.
• In the interest of Science and investigation, so I can offer warnings if there is a security risk, I have viewed some of these pictures. You can thank me later. There are indeed quite a few Emma Watson pictures. Before you hurt yourself, they consist entirely of her trying on bathing suit-like outfits. One Redditor commented that she looks much better in clothes and I'm forced to agree. 

Because cancer has been cured and world peace has broken out, we turn our attention to technical term scrubbing. The terms "blacklist" and "whitelist" are starting to cause a bit of a storm among groups who tend to cause a bit of a storm. So if you come across any Fascist Agent of Oppression, you can instruct them to use the terms "blocklist" and "safelist". My mind goes back [wayback music] to the days when hard drives were master and slave....

• I've discovered that my wife's pocketbook is like Dr. Who's Tardis: larger on the inside than the outside. link for people with too much time on their hands.

Welcome to the second day of spring. We're celebrating by digging the car out of the snow.

• The Internet of Things strikes again.  Got a Google Nest camera? You got a problem. Bluetooth, which is required to set the device up, cannot be turned off.  This means that anyone who can get within Bluetooth range can shut down the camera's recording capabilities for 60-90 seconds. You know, long enough for someone to slip by. They do not have access to video. Google was notified in October 2016 and promptly sprung into inaction. One of the issues is that you cannot turn Bluetooth off. As I mention (frequently), this is not going to be pretty.

An email from Wellesley professors states that controversial speakers "impose on the liberty of students" by "enabling the bullying of disempowered groups". This would explain why the students are the way they are. Safe Spaces for all! The right not to be offended! Real Life is going to be quite a shock for these snowflakes.

• Philadelphia District Attorney Seth Williams is in trouble. A long trail of 'gifts' has been uncovered, with Williams doing favors and corrupting justice. The criminality dates back to his first month in office. This once again puts Philthy on the national stage, once again in a negative light. The only thing more head-shaking than Philly Corruption is listening to Philly prosecutors pronounce the charges. Jag-wire? And a custom-made couch for four grand. You can buy a regular couch for four grand. Watch the Philly Follies on national news near you.

If you're using LastPass password keeper, there's a serious vulnerability.

• On the local Fox morning show, they brought in a special reporter for a two-part in-depth series on new flashy nails with shiny bits on them. Hard hitting coverage, from people who say q-pon.

Marshall the cocker continues his rounds to specialty veterinary practitioners in the area. For those following along at home, he had to see an Ear/Nose/Throat vet for a procedure to open up his small ear canals, due to constant infections, requiring constant medicines. This failed, due to a problem around anesthesia. Since the surgeon has no specialist for this, it's off to another specialist/hospital, continuing all of the expensive medicines. The second operation is scheduled. Meanwhile, it's difficult to get the oral meds into him because we have to put it into food and he will only eat people food for a few days before spitting it out. Poor Marshall never had a health problem until his cat died. It's like he's competing for highest vet bill with his deceased diabetic cat.

With A Melon?

Snowmageddon 2017 is underway!
True to forecast, the snow started at 8-10pm, then at 9-11pm, as forecast. We were to see 2-4" by the morning, which appears to be optimistic, but there's so much sleet, it looks like an ice skating rink. There aren't even tracks in the street, so I'm hoping the smart people (and everyone else) stayed in. Schools in PA and NY were closed as of yesterday, long before it started. The majority of damage is supposed to occur today, so we'll check in later with our team of intrepid people who occasionally look out the window.

UPDATE from the People Who Occasionally Look Out the Window:
The Great Blizzard turned into The Fizzling Blizzard. Our 6-10" then 8-12" rapidly died at 2-4" of snow, with a nice sheen of sleet on top. I still wouldn't drive* but this was a bit of a break. You have to give credit to a high number of meteorologists, who completely screwed up the forecast, in a rather serious way.  The governor of Maryland declared a state of emergency yesterday, before the snow started. This happened last year too.. no amount of egg on their faces will improve their accuracy (although I understand it's not easy).

Further update: the responsible entities have done a pretty good job of clearing the streets. Except perhaps our street, which still has a snowy/icy coating. My street does not look significantly different from surrounding streets, which are clear, hence my confusion.

But when I say clear, I'm referring to the snow on roads. The roads themselves are clogged by trucks going to stores to refill supplies of bread and milk.

• Headline of the week: IT Workers Expect Industrial Internet of Things Attacks to Rise.  Also expect taxes to rise and weather to be unpredictable.

Our buddies in the House GOP have been busy behind our backs, as is normal. This time it's a little heard of bill that would allow employers to require employees to undergo genetic testing or risk paying a penalty of thousands of dollars and would let employers see the genetic and other health information. Although this is prohibited by prior legislation, the new law allows it as part of a "workplace wellness" program.

We're from the government and we're here to help you.

Hey, didn't they just announce a replacement for Obamacare? Any doubt you'll still get screwed? The cardinal rule for figuring out why things happen is Who Benefits?  It sure as hell isn't We the People. This is somewhat confusing as the president promised a repeal of Obamacare and a better replacement. From what I can tell, neither occurred. 

• Rescue workers in Napa, California, had to remove part of a wall to pull a naked man out of a sandwich shop, where he spent the night inside a narrow passageway. Oh c'mon - who among us hasn't spend a night naked, trapped in a sandwich shop?

A buttload [technical term] of Twitter accounts were hijacked yesterday to send nasty Nazi slogans, primarily to Turkey. Twitter was not hacked - it was a third party service that people attached to their Twitter accounts. The next time you give a program access to one of your accounts or sign in with Faceyspaces or LinkedIn, remember this. Use only the login for that page-do not link to a different service.

• An obviously well-meaning father forced his daughter to have sex with men at a truck stop. You can tell he was well-meaning because this was her punishment for having sex. She'll obviously never do one of those things again...

A while back, videos started to appear featuring cats having wild reactions to cucumbers. No, really. Watch this video, preferably with the sound down, and be prepared to howl with laughter. Experts claim the response is due to their fear of snakes. This kills me, even as an animal lover and owner of two former cats.

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*When I say I still wouldn't drive, I mean because the streets are really slick and not cleared well. There's another reason....

My wife was looking at the aftermath and started to scream. Somebody was shoveling snow onto our car.  She started vibrating while screaming, then bouncing up and down between the floor and ceiling. 

I'm conflict-averse so I generally don't get involved but I stood at the window and watched this debacle. All of my conflict avoidance went out the (closed) window and I wandered up the street. 'Neighbors' were taking snow out of their private driveway and piling it in front of and in back of my car. I politely asked who was going to plow my car out. She didn't know. I suggested, politely, that she do it, as she boxed it in. She impolitely said I should do it myself - they needed to clear their drive. And if I didn't want my car snowed in, I should park in a local lot. My car, on a public street. My fault because I parked it there. Unbelievable. This occurs in bad areas of the city, not here. I told them I'd put the snow back in their driveway for them, which they encouraged.

I fully understand that one cannot kill one's neighbors, even if there's no real chance of getting caught. I do not want to call the police, as this is really petty (but will affect my back when I have to fix it). If I give them their snow back, the police will arrive. If I give them yellow snow, with little brown doggie dots, the police will eventually arrive. If their house developed smoke, the firemen will arrive, with the police a bit behind them. This is new. This is rude. And it will go on, as these people seem to believe that public accommodations exist purely for them. You'd think they owned a BMW.

Snowmageddon! (March Edition)

Well, it's that time again. Having skirted snow and had many days where a light jacket was ok, it's March and we're through the hard part of winter. Oops, maybe not.  One (very) loyal reader alerted me that my area was about to get some weather. My local forecast said a number of thirty-two degree days, so I said thanks. It took another twenty-four hours until I actually looked at the forecast (I'm pretty quick) and noticed we were in for a little snow (and when I say little, I mean 6-12" or more).

The Philadelphia area is populated, like many cities, by complete idiots, forecasters who cannot forecast, and services that grind to a shrieking halt the moment 1/4" of snow is forecast, no less falls. In recent memory was the day the entire school system was closed and it didn't even bother to snow. Naturally, with the 1/4" of snow is the requisite PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bread and milk disappear from every shelf. Sidewalk salt, shovels, snowblowers, and snails (maybe not) are in short supply. And if history is any indication, Philly will still be digging out next March. This will be mirrored in quite a lot of cities, as this one is supposed to be a whopper. Of course there are a bunch of cities that know how to deal with snow, but they're no fun to write about. This dance is repeated each time it snows, with absolutely nothing learned from any time in the past.

• According to something I read on the internet, world's largest and most factual source of information, Aerosmith is no more. Among reasons mentioned was health, as guitarists Joe Perry had a heart attack onstage with his side band (no word on what effect that had on his playing, but best of health to him). Tony Iommi, lefty guitarist for Black Sabbath, who played the final date of their final tour last week, said it's very bad for one's health to be touring at his age.
• WTF has happened to rock and roll? (it has aged, apparently) - rock stars used to overdose on drugs - now they die of cancer. I hope I die before I get old is now I better cash in on yet another (high quality farewell/comeback) tour. And now bands are calling it quits because they're getting old? Hell, Alice Cooper dyes his hair black and is always in motion. Steven Tyler is unlikely to sit down (ever) and goes to show you what happens to the ADHD kid who can't keep still in class. Jeff Beck is better and busier than ever, in his seventies. Bands are doing comeback tours, with damn near some of the original members. Where was I going with this?

Our good friends at the FBI are dropping all charges* in a child-porn case rather than release the details of how they hacked Tor to get the information. Think about this one for a bit...  *the case is being dismissed without prejudice, meaning they can take it up again later. Meanwhile they can continue to use this hack against anyone, criminal or innocent person.

• Malware was just discovered (pre-installed) on a bunch of android cell phones. What's different here is that the malware was not part of the software sent by the manufacturers. It was installed later. Any guesses? Check the article's list of affected phones. If yours is on the list, scan with a very good scanner (I like Malwarebytes, available free from the Play Store- set it to run weekly). 
• There are also lists of infected files to look for. My phone is listed but passes the scan and doesn't have the infected files. Two of the pieces of malware steal information, display illegitimate ads, and lock all your files for a ransom. 
• The problem here is what to do if you find malware. The article is laughingly free of details as to what to do, just mentioning scanning. My initial recommendation is that if your phone is over a few years old, scrap it and get a new one. If it's more recent, normal humans don't have a lot of remedies, short of contacting the carrier/manufacturer and asking what they're going to do about it.  The more tech-oriented of us can root the device and remove the files. As it is, the phones contain operating and other files that a normal user cannot touch/modify/erase. Root gives you Ultimate User privileges and will allow you a full reign of terror to do what you wish, including possibly turning your phone into a very expensive paperweight. If you're interested in rooting, the best guides are at Android Forums.
• How does anybody at all get hold of phones between the manufacturer and retailers and install malware with root privileges? We know it has already happened before with laptops and networking hardware.

Let me say something nice about Samsung on a very large carrier. Umm... it has a decent coverage area? My wife's phone is a mess, and I say that politely. It started with the contacts getting foobed beyond belief. It scrambled like eggs, mismatching first and last names; I came up as lefty Smith, Smith being one of her doctors. Shortly thereafter, my contact picture came up as that of a third person. So when the phone rings, she's not sure whether it's the person in the picture, the first name, or the last name.  As if Scrambled Contacts is not bad enough, it continues to modify and confuse, in a less than exciting way. 

Not to be outdone, the text messaging sends all texts into the ether, requiring up to three hours to arrive at my phone. This has caused all sorts of 'amusing' situations. A trip to the carrier fixed Something, but Something was a problem that had nothing to do with the carrier. I hate to say it, but either the phone needs to be replaced (the 2nd one so far) or has to be blown out and reset to factory original specs. This will (further) screw up the contacts, requiring a complete descrambling - hours of work. 

• A bill has been introduced to make porn-viewing illegal for federal government workers, because it's a waste of time. Not addressed were the three thousand other ways federal workers waste time. This is an example of knee-jerk piss poor legislation, pandering to a certain population. Isn't it already wrong to waste time, regardless of how?

Words of widsom: if you're having trouble standing, you might want to sit.

• Carleton University (Canada) has removed a weight scale from gym after students call it "triggering". Next up: banning tight outfits, as it makes the fat kids uncomfortable.

Anal Probing by Illegal Aliens

Australia has many scenic views and an endless supply of deadly fauna. Australia also has female traffic light signals. Not to be outdone, London's Trafalgar Square has gay marriage-celebrating signals. Because the government has already cured cancer and has some time on its hands. But it gets better - Australia's Minister for Women said that it would make public space more inclusive of women. Because women felt they couldn't cross the street before this?

• Many police departments across the country are maintaining their own DNA databases.  The ACLU is suing San Diego over warrantless collection of DNA of a minor without parental consent. Apparently this process allows police to skirt state and federal laws about who they can collect from and how long the samples can be retained. Loopholes are magnificent, aren't they?

Stop what you are doing this very minute and watch Star Trek - Libertarian Edition.

• Just in case you were bored today, the latest Wikileaks is most interesting. It concerns the CIA and its spying/hacking army. Among other things, how malware can turn androids, iDevices, Windows computers, smart cars, and smart TVs into listening devices. Yeah, I'm tinfoil hat. Yeah, I made it all up and this release is just coincidental fiction.

If there's one thing I learned in my life so far, it's that I'm not that good at mornings.

• Faceyspaces has a program to report and remove images of child abuse (that haven't already been removed). Journalist reports child abuse images. Faceyspaces reports him to the police. Don't. Use. Faceyspaces.
• In other news, Faceyspaces plans to update its algorithms to "listen" for people who are in danger of suicide (warning - FB.com link). This is a refreshing change from listening for people who are in danger of not being accurately marketed to in a targeted fashion. No word yet on who this data will be sold to.

On International Women's Day, we celebrate women and their contributions. We also note that women are taking off work to celebrate and march in parades; thus nullifying their input for the day. This is akin to everyone taking off work on Labor Day. We also eagerly anticipate International Left-Handers' Day.

• Reaction to the Wikileaks CIA spying story has been swift for cell phone OSes. Based upon vpn use, antivirus manufacturer F-Secure has stated that 80% of iDevice users have the latest OS; they tend to update quickly. The outlook is not so good for android users, because phone manufacturers are slow to distribute OS updates. While the Nordics (F-secure area) have a high percentage of android 6 and 7, most of the world still uses 4 and 5. Android users: bug your phone manufacturer and make sure you're current. Check your OS version in Settings.
• The nice folks who wrote the Notepad++ program have fixed a .dll file process by which the CIA could hack the program and monitor what goes on in the background. While this is by no means foolproof, it will prevent the program from loading anything other than the proper .dll file. This will not prevent problems if the hackers are already there or if the notepad++.exe file is replaced. Credit where credit is due.
• Meanwhile the CIA says Americans should be deeply troubled by Wikileaks' latest leak. I think most of us would tend to agree, just not for for the reason the CIA states ("jeopardizing personnel and operations"). Nowhere does the CIA address jeopardizing citizens' rights and privacy.
• Curious about what the CIA thinks of your antivirus?

Confide, a secure messaging application very popular with White House aides, has been discovered to have "multiple security vulnerabilities of varying severities", proving that DC cannot even hide questionable thoughts or misdeeds correctly.

• A while back I reported on the US government trying to get records from an Amazon Echo's spying to help their murder case. The Echo is Amazon's version of Google's Alexa, that sits there and processes requests (what is the weather, set reminder to call Mom, how late is Costco open?). At question is anything Echo might have recorded during a murder. The trick here is that Echo (and Alexa) isn't supposed to record anything that isn't preceded by  "Echo" (or "Alexa"). Amazon decided not to fight the subpoena and submitted to demands for the recordings because the defendant said he didn't mind the recordings being submitted to prosecutors. Amazon could have and should have fought this on privacy principles. Next time it could be your data.

Things are always more interesting at Walmart. The St Augustine, FL, police were called to Walmart, due to the 4-5' shark found in the parking lot. Yes, it was a whale of a sale.

Not to be outdone, Vilano Beach, FL, found a shark in a driveway. Sorry, Charlie.

• Yes is to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year. Asked why it took so long, a spokesman said it was because Donna Summer, Green Day, Joan Jett, Michael Jackson, NWA, Public Enemy, RUN-DMC, and Tupak needed room.

Happy International Women's Day!
I am a dead man

Pushing (and Licking) the Envelope

I don't know if you were affected by this, but a huge Amazon outage this week rendered large chunks of the internet inaccessible. Without getting ridiculously technical (and because I have no idea what I'm talking about), this Amazon service is The Cloud, or cloud storage. Engineers went to take a small number of billing servers offline and managed to enter an incorrect item, taking down 'a larger set of servers.' In non-technical terms, they screwed up royally and took a shitload of servers down. The downed servers controlled a lot of other servers and pretty soon, there were huge holes all over the internet. To make things that much more interesting, the servers hadn't been rebooted in quite a while, so bringing them up took longer because they had more work to do because there was much more data to count.

Ok, everyone goofs. Sometimes the goof is spectacular in a very public way, like this one. I had a coworker who discovered he could remotely reboot people's computers, largely by remotely rebooting people's computers. We had to take his toy away when people started complaining. That aside, this incident underscores  the fact that a lot of required planning and safety checks were flushed down the old British loo.

People get all excited about The Cloud. The salespeople from Amazon come in and promise you the Moon, stars, and the internet. Life on this very planet will benefit greatly from their cloud services. The uptime of their systems is guaranteed to be in the ridiculously high 99th percentile. And now someone makes a mistake and wipes large amounts of vital and silly services from the internet. Mistake aside, this is a huge failure of Amazon services, which should have all this stuff backed up and paralleled so well that the switchover would be imperceptible.  The fact that it didn't work illustrates what we call Single Point of Failure - where one item failing can take down the entire house of cards. You do not design any important system with a SPOF. This is also a failure of the customers because not only don't they have a Plan B, they trusted Amazon.

• I read the news today, oh boy... about the governor of Maryland declaring a state of emergency. I don't remember flooding or rioting, so I read further. The mayor has declared a state of emergency over heroin and opioid deaths. At least he wasn't grandstanding.

I read one of those Heartwarming Stories the other day. Some lady jogger in Bumfukt was lady jogging when she got all hot and thirsty, having drank the water she brought. A guy pulling into his driveway saw her and offered her some water. She was stunned and gratefully accepted. Every day thereafter, there was a cold water bottle waiting for her outside his house. This went on over a year, during which time they got to chat and meet her husband, both of whom were really surprised and forever grateful. The good samaritan, discovering she was married, killed the husband and kept the jogger in his basement dungeon, eventually killing and eating her. The friendship kept up and the jogger left him presents on holidays. It continues to this day. Don't you just hate this kind of thing?

• The Breach of the Day is brought to you by Coachella. Coachella, the huge (alleged) music festival in southern California, announced that its website had been breached, potentially compromising 950,000 accounts containing the personal details of ticket purchasers and people who registered for online forums. So you can not only be tres trendy at the show, your details can be all over the net and for sale in black market forums. No word on how the breach occurred. Do not reuse passwords. Do not give any personal details - make them up if necessary. Sign up for forums anonymously.

My 7yo nephew asked me for some advice the other day. It seems he's having problems with girls.. they won't leave him alone. Ever the helpful uncle, I asked him what it was like.

• A notorious spam company misconfigured their backups, revealing all sorts of information about how they operate. If you're curious about spam, read the article.

Want a beautiful place to crash in New York City? Bring up Airbnb and for $300-$450 per day, you can get a magnificent apartment in Trump Tower. A woman who has owned the apartment since 1998 is renting it out. The apartment was available since before the election and has garnered five stars on the service, but Airbnb just pulled the listing. Well, this is a bit of an issue, wouldn't you say? Yes, the renter would pass through Secret Service, but...

• Internet of Things fans: that Amazon outage? For three hours, all sorts of websites and services went down, meaning, among other things, that you couldn't control your internet-connected lightbulbs and other devices.

I was watching one of those border patrol shows the other day and they were demonstrating these boffo new infrared cameras. I swear they were using a gaming controller to manipulate it. Video games: the gateway to border patrol and drone-piloting.

• Barbara Streisand says Trump is making her gain weight. This would be less of a problem if she moved to Canada, like she promised, if Trump won the election. Hypocrite.

STATS: In case you care, here's a little information on visits to this blog...

Browsers: Firefox leads the pack, with 55%. Chrome follows, with 31%

Operating Systems: Overwhelmingly Windows, at 73%, followed by Macintosh, at 10%. Linux makes up all of 6%. I should further shoot myself in the foot by disabling access for Mac and Windows users (I cannot do this).

Total Traffic: I am so embarrassed that I don't want to reveal this number. Let's say totals of about 20 visits daily. Please tell your friends. Do not send money.

ThermionicEmissions would especially like to thank the French, who are the second highest viewers, right after the US. I have no idea why but am grateful.

Finally, I'd like to thank the people who come here after visiting porn sites. Not only am I happy they choose to read this blog, they provide new and interesting places to visit when I'm bored.

Breathing is Overrated

A Philadelphia Jewish cemetery was vandalized the other day. Because, you know, there's nothing more dangerous than a dead Jew.

• Subway chicken has been revealed to be only 50% chicken - the other 50% is soy filler. Semi-vegetarian chicken!

On today's news: guitar strap pocketbooks. As a guitar player, I have to go and shoot myself now.

• My coworker, who uses very complex equipment, just requested training on the Windows Snipper (screenshot) program. Oh, my head...

I often recommend keeping your passwords in password keepers. Popular password keepers have just been found to be leaking personal information. Read it and weep.  I recommend Keepass, which wasn't studied.

• I don't often touch Hollywood, except for the funniest and most egregious nonsense, but this one really bowls me over: Kaley Cuoco and Big Bang Theory co-stars 'offer to take $100,000 per episode pay cuts so actresses Mayim Bialik and Melissa Rauch can get raises.' 
• Meanwhile, Mrs lefty is annoyed over Kaley's constant calls to me since she got divorced.

Unless someone is doing a monumental job of trolling, there is now a connected CampStove that provides real time data about the strength of your fire. And now, Chinese hackers will be the first to know you've hit 200 degrees! Folks, this will only get more stupid...

• Today is World Book Day. Books were incredibly important to me as a child, as I preferred their company to people. They allowed me to escape whatever I thought my life was and I'd stay up til all hours of the morning escaping. Here are a few favorites:
• Douglas Adams; Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, a 5 book trilogy of hilarious, abstract humor, from a master of the language. Also read his 2 book series, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (there is currently a tv show on BBC America). Douglas (RIP) is my absolute favorite and I'd pay to watch him pace around a stage, saying whatever came to mind.
• Robert A Heinlein: I think I've read every one of his Future History series (with Lazarus Long), as well as everything else science fiction-y that wasn't oriented toward dragons. This man's writing and worlds truly kept me up til strange hours, instead of doing homework or trivial things like sleeping. He had a remarkable sense of the future and a very enlightened attitude towards sex for his time.
• Samuel Shem: House of God is an informative and hilarious story about residents in a New York hospital and their guru. It's difficult to make this sound funny, but read it. There was a sequel and a movie too, although I've never seen them.
• How many of these 20 classics have you read? It's British and I don't agree with every book listed, but I (embarrassingly) come up with two. You?

 Both fascinating and terrifying is a nondeterministic universal Turing machine using DNA molecules, as candidates for future organic computers. They will use DNA instead of silicon. The DNA can replicate itself to perform more calculations as needed.  Mark this date... SkyNet is becoming reality.

• despite Microsoft's touting of its latest OS as its "most secure," Windows 10 had the highest proportion of vulnerabilities of any OS (395), a 46 percent jump from Windows 8 and Windows 8.1 (265 each).

My wife just brought home a package of table grapes. I didn't know these existed and am a little scared to try one.  If possible, I'd prefer couch grapes, as they're much better-suited to my lifestyle.

YAHOO!!!!!

Yahoo, the company to watch for routine security breaches of up to hundreds of  millions of users, in an SEC filing, blamed the 2014 - 500 million account breach on unnamed senior executives and its legal team for failing to properly investigate. This was a state-sponsored attack (in the current climate, we blame Russia for everything, but I'm thinking not). "...certain senior executives did not properly comprehend or investigate...". Further, Security discovered that the attacker had taken copies of the user database backup files with personal data of Yahoo users. This same attacker was busy again in 2015 and 2016 but this was not investigated, resulting in 32 million accounts being exposed.

At this point, if I were a Yahoo user, I'd be screaming, closing accounts, and ceasing all use of Yahoo products. If I were a shareholder, I'd be screaming for the heads of everyone on the board. Speaking of which, the counsel is leaving without severance and the CEO will not receive a cash bonus for 2016 and will forego her 2017 annual equity award (more than $10m). There are 43 consumer class action lawsuits, with possibly more to come.

These guys are truly The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight. You will notice that the senior executives went unnamed and they managed to insert some uncertainty by claiming executives did not understand, slightly tinging the Security team. Other reports indicate the board simply ignored Security.

Hey Dum Dums... security is everybody's business. Companies need to lead in top-down manner, where everybody up TOP practices good security and it gets reflected down, making it part of corporate culture. So long as those up top don't understand and/or care, this is going to be a problem for all companies. Apparently Yahoo is too dim to learn from their multiplicity of mistakes.

Once again, close any Yahoo accounts you have and don't use any of their other products