Lincoln is introducing Phone-As A Key, where you download an app to unlock your car (android or other). You're tracked here too because the app sends the data up the line every time you use it (and probably when you're not using it).
Faceyspaces gives everyone a 'clear history tool' that doesn't clear anything.
Still logging in? 400+ million users' data on the loose. Still logging in?
Over a third of firms have suffered a cloud attack.
Once again, I have been proven correct.
If you can't touch your data, it's no longer yours.
Boris Johnson, the UK's new PM (PDQ), said he appreciates Donald Trump's kind words, but promised that he wouldn't say anything nice about Trump if Trump doesn't say anything nice about him. A Trump endorsement makes it even harder to get anything done.
- Denmark's PM said that Greenland is not for sale. She recommended the US take a look at China.
Dear lefty
- Why are you so nasty all the time?
- Because I hate you.
Angela Merkel (D-Germany) is being hauled into world court to explain why she deliberately uses a hard G in Angela.
Boris Johnson went to meet Angela Merkel as his first visit out of state. Boris took some remedial German classes in preparation, but couldn't make all the classes. As a result, here are a few things he said to Merkel
Good evening. Your mother is a fire truck.
About this Brexit thing.... God, you're ugly.
Germany holds a special place in my spleen.
Terrible thing about those Jews, isn't it?
Don't mention the war. Did I say that out loud?
- England will never be taken seriously until it stops saying conTROVerSEE and SHED-ule.
No thank you, I'd rather vacation in Jeffrey Epstein's jail cell.
Speaking of Epstein's cell, his former cellmate is being politely requested not to talk about a single thing that goes on in prison. Lest he get transferred to that cell.
- Having a bad day? A man burying his wife, a victim of the El Paso shooting, had his SUV stolen at the funeral. Stop complaining.
I bought an ergonomic mouse, forever answering the question 'can I get a left handed mouse?' If you take a regular mouse and pick one side up to about 45 degrees, it looks like that. I really like the device and recommend it. It even has backspace and forward buttons for browsing. Since it's tall, I always knock it over with my hand.
Related: know how it's difficult to grab the tiny perimeter of a window to resize it? I have a hard time NOT grabbing it. It's like magic. Evil magic.
OXYMORONS
- Faceyspaces Privacy Officer
- Congressional Ethics
- Microsoft Security Engineer
- MTV Rocks
Work is fun and I'm learning all sorts of Stuff.
Stuff like being security conscious but using Chrome and Internet Explorer is ok. Internet Explorer is a Hall of Horrors. Whenever I use it, I remember why I not only hate it, but why I use ad blockers on my real browsers: it's the only time I see ads. So this is what PTSD means....
As with all jobs, there are meetings. I have tried with all my might to avoid meetings, without success. Even bad behavior hasn't helped.... when I try, I find out the others are trying harder than me (and succeeding). It's a competition to keep up. My behavior is actually encouraged. I tried feigning incompetence, but this also failed, as most of my coworkers are genuinely incompetent. I also tried Tourette's Syndrome, randomly blurting out curses, but no one could tell it from my regular outbursts. I tried an earring through my eyebrow, but the boss has a 6" bone through his nose. I even tried explosives, but one coworker laughed and said, "You call that an explosive," then showed me his desk drawer. I even claimed I'm second shift (where literally nothing gets done) but no one heard me because they were off doing nothing of their own.
This will challenge all my creativity but I'm up for it.
Speaking of work, I had to put in a trouble ticket for some broken software.
My department must get to our issues in 24 hours... to this day, we're not sure if Helpdesk is obligated to even look at their tickets. Since this was a fairly important request, they got back to me within a few weeks. I got asked if I'm still having that software problem. Well, I'd say so, as I can't fix it myself. You know, that's why I put in the ticket. Software doesn't spontaneously repair itself.
Oh.
He goes away a couple of times, without informing me he's working in the issue. I'm staring at the screen, waiting for something magical to happen. Fortunately there was no extensive breath-holding going on. I gave up and went back to my own job, where I get to all issues within an hour. A few disappearances later he informs me of what's wrong. Well, that's nice. Then he disappears again. Where do these people go? When he eventually gets back, it's Fixed!
He has this whole dance down to a science. No one ever complains because, like their doctor, they're just happy to see him.
Now he'll tell his boss he spent 4 hours with some idiot who broke his machine, so that's why he got nothing done this week.
Oops, the fix was less that perfect, in that it didn't work at all, much like Congress. I'm sure someone will get back to me. In a month or two.
A girl was found bound and gagged in a car on a California freeway. The family said they were taking her to drug rehab. Turns out they were taking her to a Taylor Swift concert. It was for her own good.
There's a commercial on in the background and I notice the jingle sounds perfectly vapid and perfect for a commercial. Then I find out it's not a commercial - it's Taylor Swift. This is only the second song of hers I've heard, but my first instinct is RUN. She seems like such a nice person, though.
- Porn Industry Worried Association with White House May Tarnish Its Image.
Heroes of the Stupid
Fearing they could be overwhelmed with visitors, officials in the remote Nevada county that’s home to the Area 51 military base have drafted an emergency declaration and a plan to team resources with neighboring counties and the state ahead of events tied to the “Storm Area 51” internet drive. The entire storm will peter out when they find out cell service just crashed and they can't livestream to Faceyspaces.
If you play touch football at Lamar High School in Arlington, Texas, things just got safer: you are now required to wear a helmet.
Best headline: Joe Biden's brain surgeon is defending Joe Biden's brain.
He plans to install it after the election.
I just saw a message from someone using Microsoft Outlook for Android.
A virus you have to install manually.
SJW Stupidity
San Francisco board rebrands 'convicted felon' as 'justice-involved person'.
Richard Ramirez, 'the Nightstalker,' is now 'serially female-involved'.
History will look back on us and get a neck sprain from shaking its head vigorously. - lefty
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| Some things never go out of style |
