Monday, August 10, 2020

Cockroach Sexing in the Workplace

Because I care:
Ergonomics, in these days of working at home.
Adjust your chair so your elbows are at a 90 degree angle.
The most important part: keep your wrists relatively straight. As soon as you start to bend them up or down too much to use the keyboard, you're setting yourself up for trouble - pain or Repetitive Stress Injury, like carpal tunnel. Take short breaks. Try to get some sex (this applies when you're not working or not at the keyboard too).

Your love is like when Vito breaks your legs

I just got an email from my House rep, asking how she's doing.
I thought she took me off her email list, for fear of my responses.
I disagree with many on politics - it's no surprise or alarm.
This lady, however.... we disagree on every thing she says. It's astounding. I try to like at least one thing she does, but it hurts too much. Usually there's something to like about everyone, but this person... let me try to be positive: she's not at all unattractive.

Dear lefty:

  • How do I snag a Playboy Playmate for a girlfriend?
  • Be incredibly wealthy and carry a puppy.

Didja learn anything in the sexual harassment training?
Yeah, I picked up a few good how-to's.

Bob goes to sexual harassment training after getting hired at Bra-CO.

The instructor gave a scenario and said there would be questions after:

Instructor Ted supervises Bill. They're having lunch in the cafeteria.
Bill sees a woman walking by, looking lost. He says, "Hi, I'm Bill." She introduces herself as Marsha and says it's nice to meet him. Bill says, "Nice tits, Marsha," and turns to his boss, Ted, and says, "This is Marsha. She's new. She has nice tits."

Marsha blushes and tells them it's nice to meet them both, then asks where the ladies room and the H/R office is.

Later on, Instructor Ted finds out he has a new person in his department, named Marsha. Ted goes over Marsha's duties with her in his office. He apologizes profusely for Bill's behavior. He explains that this department is full of Bills and hopes she doesn't mind. If it's bothersome, he suggests Marsha ask for a transfer. He can make that happen immediately on a quid-pro-quo basis: you scratch my back, I grab your tits. Marsha smiles and winks.

Shaquanda is messing with Hymie out on the floor, telling him how the Jews own everything. Hymie says if he owned everything, why would he be working here. His cousins own most of the banks, though. The floor breaks into laughter.

Jose is telling an old joke: "Hey, did you hear about the Puerto Rican fireman? He named his kids Hose-A and Hose-B." His buddies boo then laugh.

McSweeney asks what's the difference between the Easter Bunny and a sober Irishman. Answer: There is no difference - neither of them exist.

Wanting to blend in, Marsha suggests a new sexual harassment process. After you get harassed, you are required to rate the harasser on harassment and style. Her suggestion is put into place within a week.

Jeffy pokes ShaNayNay, "Imma axe you bout Beyonce."  ShaNayNay drops her soda on the floor, laughing.

Instructor Ted is finished with the scenario and it's time for his questions:

  1. What did Bill have for lunch when they met Marsha?
  2. What size are Marsha's golden globes?
  3. "This was a trick. There was absolutely no sexual harassment in this scenario. Sexual harassment is only sexual harassment when it's unwanted. Marsha obviously wanted it."

Told You So

Wireless phone charging is pretty inefficient. A recent study showed wireless took 47% more power. Any transfer from electricity to something else is inefficient. Speakers are grossly inefficient in transferring electricity to motion.

I asked lots of people, who told me wireless charging's penalty
 wasn't significant.

I just watched a YouTube video where a woman claims to be a Super Soldier and had lived on different planets in the 1800s. That's a lot to swallow. I had to turn  it off when she said 'hella'. I can't believe that.

Michelle Obama said she has 'low-grade depression,' blaming it on the Flying AIDS, racial tensions, and the Trump administration. I have sympathy for the woman - depression sucks. Blaming it on Trump, however, indicates a different problem.

There are many treatments for depression: medical, talk therapy, diets, a plant, and others. You do not have to feel this way. Consult your primary doctor, a therapist, a psychiatrist, a religious counselor, or ask a friend what they did.

Attack of the Phone

It was a dark and stormy night. No, wait, it was a dark night, as nights tend to be. I was in bed, trying to drift off early, for my early meeting. This, of course, meant the circus was in town. Mrs lefty was performing her tennis moves, only instead of left-right. it was upstairs-downstairs, at regular intervals. She, like most spouses, has a way of knowing just when I'm nodding off to sleep, and picks that precise moment to BANG through the door, allowing the dog on the bed, where she spends the next 5 minutes licking my forehead, until she has to be pried off (sadly, the dog, not the wife). Strangely, this does little for my sleep.
You have to admit, she has impeccable timing.

I put my phone on the shelf, with a small lip to prevent it getting too far away. Plugged in an earphone, which is wonderfully broken - only one side exists. That's ok, my ear can only listen to one side at a time. Put on my favorite nighttime listening and prepared to softly go away. Sometimes I sleep so soundly, I sleep through the dog leaping on me and licking my forehead. And walking on my chest. I chose precisely that moment to move 1/4" too far and my phone took a near-suicidal leap from the shelf, ignoring the small lip that allegedly stops it from getting too far away. Oddly, it didn't produce any noise, but I did. It started as a minor grumble and quickly escalated to muffled cursing and calling the phone's mother names. The dog has developed a pleasing new habit of BARKING when I raise my voice, so I'm reacting, she's BARKING, and now it's Wife who's having trouble getting to sleep.

I swept the carpet for the phone. Nada.
If it fell from a shelf, physics dictate it couldn't have gotten too far on the floor. Unfortunately, physics in my house are slightly... different. Perhaps it floated down, like a 5 pound feather, and landed on a different floor. Perhaps it had to go to the bathroom. Maybe it blipped into another dimension; all of these things were up for consideration, as I ran my hands over the carpet on the floor. As I continued to fail to locate it, I'd come up for air and each time, hit my head on a shelf. It was the perfect Three Stooges-Homer Simpson cartoon. Bang-OH. Bang-OH. Bang-OH. Did I learn anything from this? Hell no.

Again I grumbled. Again the dog 'reminded' me not to grumble, via BARKING. Once she starts, you can't get her to stop, even with threats of canine aviation.
All of this jolly noise got the attention of Wife, who asked me what I was looking for. Ummm.... my phone? I continued sweeping the floor and banging my head and grumbling. I continued to not find the phone. The dog continued to BARK. I continued to tell Dog what she could do with the barking. Finally, Wife can take no more and asks what I'm looking for. Well, it's the same phone I told you I was looking for 5 minutes ago. Can I have a flashlight, please?

Ah, flashlights.
Wife has a Flashlight Thing<tm>.
Wherever we go, if we see different flashlights, she has to buy them. We have approximately 5,247 different flashlights.  We have military flashlights, we have small LED flashlights, we have large LED flashlights, we have around the corner flashlights, we even have those 10 pound police flashlights that helps them 'subdue' dissent.  Strangely, we cannot locate ONE of them. Are you still paying attention? People with PTSD will recognize it when I say she bought 3 large tape measures, for 3 floors of the house, so she will have one there if she needs it. So what about the ($&#ing flashlights?  They're in a different dimension, perhaps with the phone.

30 minutes later, she returns with a flashlight.
I start looking under the bed, only the flashlight is pretty dim.
I have spent entire nights replacing batteries in flashlights. It's become a replacement for sex. Yet I can barely see, in the total dark, with this flashlight. I saw tissues the dog chewed up, certain leather and rubber items, various unimportant body parts, and a 1957 Chevy I was restoring (it's a tall bed).  There was still no phone. At this point, I could stand no more, and gave up, wondering if its alarm would wake me for work. As I wondered, the dog BARKED, for no apparent reason. If she gets tuned into what's in my head, she will shortly spit out her larynx.

Right I was: of course I got up about 17 minutes before the alarm, out of spite, and faded off, at which time I heard the alarm. It was loud and sonorous. So I searched. And searched. And dimly used the dim flashlight. And searched. And cursed. And listened to the dog BARK. I hoped she was under the bed, helping look for the phone, when I felt something fuzzy brush my leg. I really don't want to think of anything else that could be. The alarm went off for 5 solid minutes, during which time it succeeded in not being found. Ever helpful, Wife suggested I GO DOWNSTAIRS AND GET ANOTHER DAMN PHONE SO YOU CAN F'ING CALL IT. I suggested I pull the bed out after work, frustrated from trying. The dog just sat there, contemplating her next BARK. In the bathroom, moments later, I hear a knock. Wife found phone. Wife wanted to give it to me RIGHT THEN. I had something different going at that time, which would be very difficult to put on hold while I took the phone from her. She was not impressed, and kept insisting I take it NOW. With great effort, I stopped what I was doing and took the phone. Apparently the cord knocked the phone off the 3rd shelf. It flew down 2 shelves, at an impossible angle, and cleverly hid itself inside a children's toy, way at the back of the shelf. It went DOWN 4 feet, then made a LEFT.

I don't know what I'd do without that phone. Ok, that wife too.
I need some aspirin - the pain in my head is making me see stuff. Unpleasant stuff. More unpleasant stuff than normal. And I'm looking around wearily, waiting for Wife to drop the other baseball bat.

Right as I'm finishing work, Wife will go upstairs for a nap. I will decide to take a nap on the couch. Just as I'm drifting off, the phone will remain where it is, but Wife will come back down because she couldn't sleep. My entire life is like the Addams Family. On acid.

Saturday, August 8, 2020

The Earth Represents the Patriarchy

AI can be really scary. We're not really looking forward to its incursion into social media. We have to admit it's a really impressive effort, but the real difficulty has to be programming it to deal with all the rude, nasty, and death threat responses...

AI: Good morning, FB!
Answer1: F' U.
Answer2: Trump fan
Answer3: what kind of post is that? Go F yerself.
Answer4: Good Morning is a CIS white hetero statement, proving you're racist
Answer5: Jump off a bridge, asshole.

Your love is like a small stone in my sock

Somehow it figures that we bought a new GPS and Garmin reportedly paid millions of dollars to resolve their ransomware attack. Had I known that, there would be no GPS. Had I known there was going to be a new GPS, I would have objected anyway. When said GPS appeared, a small knife fight broke out. The counselors say this is a great improvement over the jousting that used to happen. The home repair guys are less happy, because there will be no more horses crashing about the house. The service elephant, though, remains.

Dear lefty

  • My therapist says I'm paranoid
  • thank her and keep on doing what you're doing

Good for the goog: they're buying a 6.6% stake in ADT. Now their alarm installers can put in a paid listening device without the homeowners having to leave the house. I'm sure that any day, the goog will let us know that they will never eavesdrop on your alarm signals. Nope. Not at all.

Speaking of which, I just saw Tik Tok. The aliens have stopped their breeding experiments with earthlings and are running away as fast as they can.  

Beach SOS saves men stranded on tiny Micronesian island. Micronesian (Little Nesia) men scrawled SOS (SOS) in the beach and were rescued after planes flying above spotted the message. The men, Gilligan And Skipper, commented, "The SOS in the sand thing never worked before."

Ever notice, when we see a rescue craft, we jump up and down, shouting, as if the helicopter or ship will hear us.

After 4 years of trying to hamper Trump, we realize the Democrats have done the country a tremendous favor: they spent all their time trying to screw Trump, so there was less time left for screwing us.

Science Minute

Water beetles can live on after being eaten and excreted by a frog.
An experiment was done with politicians, but they couldn't find anything that would eat them.

The president released an Executive Order indicating telehealth may be the new normal. Rural communities are thrilled with this, but their joy may be cut short when the doctor tells them to examine their own ears.

Flying AIDS news

Hey, those Norwegian cruise ships that started sailing after the Flying AIDS crisis? They were canceled due to breakouts of another Flying AIDS crisis.

In some Chinese caves, one out of every 20 bats is infected with the Flying AIDS.
How do they know?  Is there a People's Bat Tester?

About the Flying AIDS and treatment....
This doctor treated 300 patients.
Post it on social media and it will be removed as fake science.

Are you a fan of Microsoft Teams? Are you forced to use it?
There's a tiny bug that allows the program to keep on communicating when a VPN is disconnected.

Penguin poop has been spotted in satellite images of Antarctica.
It's not that our spy satellites are high resolution, but they also found microscopic parasites and recommended an antibiotic.

A new Canadian guideline says obesity shouldn't be judged by a person's weight.
Obviously, it should be judged by the quality of their nose hair.

A Connecticut man failed the test to become a police officer.
He was not admitted because his IQ was too high. He lost his suit for discrimination. SMARTISM!

Honda is recalling 608,000 vans and SUVs because of faulty software. It's nothing important: just the driver's display.
Well, don't put software in cars. Test it intensively. Getcher damn connectivity on yer laptop, not yer car.

Meanwhile, Tesla's wiper controls through its screen are now illegal in Germany, because someone got distracted and crashed their car. Can you imagine what things would be like if we tried to eliminate the Doofus Factor (further)? We already aren't allowed to cross the street in some places.

Just found out that a comic we performed with had a sex change.
She should magically change sex in the middle of her set.

SJW Sonar

A female veteran was called 'racist' for attending a Blue Lives Matter protest and there is a petition for her removal from the school board.

My buddy's office is filing a federal Equal Opportunity complaint and all work has stopped. Their anti-harassment training said there were only 2 genders.

Kindergarten Cop has been canceled in Portland after complaints it sympathizes with law enforcement.

After vandalizing another Starbucks, one Seattle activist justifies the destruction by claiming buildings are “perpetulating” violence against people.

why America will always be the best

Thursday, August 6, 2020

At Least I Pooped Today...

You know you're living with PTSD when....
There's only 2 of you, but you have the 48 pack of toilet paper.

Your love is like  your mother's.

The goog is starting to take security more seriously. So seriously, I can't get into my own gmail with my own phone. I used to... but it suddenly told me that someone used my password to try to access my mail. Yes, of course someone did - it was ME. Apparently I've done such a good job of disguising my phone, the goog doesn't recognize it.

Sometimes a time machine would be fun.
Can you imagine going back to visit Ben Franklin, noted bright guy, inventor, and ladies' man, with an android tablet. With transexual videos. Ask him what he thinks about SJWs. Or forward 100 years, to watch people just shake their heads in silence, looking back at our time in history.

AI, the Buzzword for the next 10 years, is moving forward by leaps and bounds. You probably don't know this, but you've seen AI for years. It's a very early and flawed implementation, but sourced reveal it's Larry King.  Larry's been dead for 10 years, and what you're seeing is an AI likeness, complete with wheezing, coughing, and heart arrhythmia.

To the science-minded and anyone concerned: sperm swim more like otters than eels.

Libertarian candidate for president, Jo Jorgensen, has to get 5,000 signatures to get on the ballot in the hole that is PA. Republicans and democrats require 2,000.

Dear lefty:

  • To what do you attribute the serious rise in global readership?
  • Bad taste knows no boundaries.

What do you do when you drop to earth in a space capsule, and have 5 hours to kill until the ship comes for you? You use your satellite phone to make prank calls. This is why America is the greatest nation on Earth.

The NSA recommends privacy-conscious turn off find-my-phone, wifi, and Bluetooth whenever not using them.  HA. The NSA is finally taking my advice.

They turned me loose today. Or I escaped... however you'd like to phrase it.
What did we learn today?
First, we learned that the Flying AIDS is keeping people inside. Where there should be stopped traffic, there was no traffic.

We learned that someone needs to give some serious thought to dog-proofing the car. And the GPS. Especially the GPS.

Our original GPS and I had a very bad relationship, like the mower. The touch screen caused an incredible amount of grief, and not just with me. After it tried to drive us into a large body of water, we gave up. It would say things like, "Turn 500 feet at .. Road." I suspect it had better things to do than give us directions.

When the new one showed up, I started getting douche chills and asked Mrs lefty if she was deliberately trying to torture me. She said not at all, but she said it too quickly and I thought I saw a twinkle in her eye. There was no need to plug it into a computer to have it run, which was good. The screen went from the horrid push screen to a touch screen, and behaved pretty well. It only screwed up about 10 times for me, which was a great improvement over the old one. Unfortunately the device is not dog-proof. We kept trying to figure out why the device was on a screen we had never seen. It was Penny, touching it with her nose. Repeatedly. Cars used to come with bench seats, like your couch. This left much room for a 3rd passenger or a dog. The tiny individual seats are no place for canines. Penny is happy to try to get past this by sneaking up from the back, sitting on my lap, scratching the crap out of my legs, and trying to stick her head out the window. As for the car being dog-proof, Penny either knows how to open the window or keeps hitting it by mistake. We have to literally lock the window controls so she doesn't open the windows. It's pretty funny to watch her flaps flapping in the breeze, but we like to err on the side of caution. One squirrel and it might be over.

We were in outer Mongolia, visiting. You see different things in outer Mongolia. For instance, we watched a chipmunk walk up to someone and take a peanut. That was amusing, but I didn't expect to see a young bear, popping by, eating some food, then putting his paws on the railing, looking for more. He was just fine with people; mainly looking for more to eat. I saw pictures of the Three Little Bears, playing in the tree, with their momma watching. Next to the porch. If there's one thing you don't piss off, it's Trump. If there's another thing you don't piss off, it's a momma bear. There was also a video of the little ones, trying to figure out what to do with a marshmallow. Discovering it wasn't much of a toy, they did what all children do: stick it in their mouth. I get in trouble for sticking things in my mouth to this day. The local authorities say that it's ok to feed the animals. Ok, then. It's pretty cool to look at bears. At about a mile away, or in those nice postcards. Having to change your underwear frequently is tiring. Penny went nuts, less so for the bear than the chipmunks. She stood guard the entire time. We felt secure in the knowledge we were going to go unmolested by chipmunks. This is one serious hunting dog (when she's not anchored to her mommy, napping). Hospitality is the same everywhere, which I realized when our host provided us with vodka bottles and straws. These were the good straws, not the kind that collapse. Although it would've made the trip more interesting, we declined, hoping for Drano instead.

It was great to get back home to my couch, where there was no danger of bears, except on the tv. Aside from discovering the new GPS added an hour to our trip, the ride home was fine. This is much better than last time, when we drove through a hurricane. We saw flying tree branches, trees, small houses, trucks, and bicycles with Nancy Pelosi riding them.

Always late to the party, I discovered you can't pay a turnpike toll: it's all billed to you. Hmmmm.... that would be pretty convenient if EZ PASS wasn't working to remove cash, tracking, and toll takers. Watch the alleged coin shortage get blamed for cutting off other cash transactions. As it is, some stores say you need exact change or you have to use a card. I'm starting to vibrate (harder).

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Nash S-57 Guitar [Guitar Content Only]

A deal came up on a Nash S-57, their version of the Stratocaster. I've been wanting to try one out for years, but they're never in my state. Their thing is to build a vintage guitar, better than current, and relic it.

This is very close to the one I tried out.
It came with a dealer upgrade: it was left handed.
I have a few friends with them, and they are universally loved.

I had a very interesting visit with its owner, a late 70s Strat enthusiast like me. It was weird, the amount of equipment we had in common. I tried out the Nash, while he played my Pukeburst Strat I brought along for comparison.

The only info I had was the relic-ing and a 'large C neck.'
I hate the current Fender small C necks, but tried a backwards Nash T-style at Chicago Musical (strangely enough, in Chicago).  It was pretty nice.
This one was.. different. Not bad at all, but different from what I'm used to. It took me a while to get comfortable with, while trying it out. I think the neck radius was 9.5", while I prefer the vintage 7.25". It came with Lollar 'Dirty Blonde" pickups, which sounded different. The middle was reverse wind/reverse polarity, so when front+middle or front+rear were on, they became humbucking. I've done this since the beginning of time - it's the only way to fly. It's pretty obvious, in that single coil pickups hum. When in switch positions 2+4, they no longer hum. It's a blessing and not optional for me.

It was obviously lighter than any of my late 70s Fenders, plus it was very live. I'll be honest, my guitars feel great, but I have to work to get the best out of them... they're not spectacular, live guitars. I tolerate this because they're so comfortable to play. Because this is my chosen feel, I have a lot of trouble finding guitars I like. With the exception of the 52 Tele reissue and possibly 50s Strat reissues, I haven't liked a single Fender I tried since at least the late 80s.

It took a bit, but I finally started to get comfortable with the neck and saw it wasn't going to be an issue. So I am now the proud owner of a Nash S-57. At home, I ran it into an amp and the Lollars sound good. Tonight I'll compare the neck radii and pickups against my pukeburst. It's weird having a single coil pickup in the rear - I put JB jrs in the rear of most Strats.

I'll update this as I discover new things about it.


After about a week, there are impressions....

I forgot to mention, like almost all lefty guitars from the factory, the controls are wired backwards. Whenever I go to turn the volume up or down, I have to remember to turn it the opposite way. I have to get in there with a soldering iron and fix that. I once spent 20 minutes on the phone with a nice guy at Fender, discussing backwards wiring: he said it was correct as-is.

The neck is a hefty C - lotta meat there. I'm doing well with it, but the radius bothers me. I can't tell from looking at it or playing it, but it's at least 9.5" and is not as comfortable as the rest of the Fenders, at 7.25". I need me some curves.

Did a little research on the Lollar pickups. The set is Dirty Blonde. Apparently this is their Blonde set with a higher output bridge pickup. Like Seymour Duncan, their page has charts and sound samples. Just by ear, this is probably not a set I would have gone with (less mid-bottom than I'm used to), but I'll compare it with my others to hear if my impression was correct. They're underwound, which I'm curious about. They're a lot more..... glassy.. not used to the front pickup having this amount of bite. Note that none of these pickups sounds bad, just different.

Monday, August 3, 2020

Chapter 3, Where My Service Elephant Discovers Yoo Hoo

Nanci Pelosi (D-Hell) mandated masks on the House floor.
I predict never-ending amusement when the Ruling Class has to behave like the Ruled.

Your love is like one of those things in the toilet that won't flush.

Chinese hackers got to the Vatican's computer networks.
I demand proof: they should release the Vatican's Big Secrets.

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos 'Can't Guarantee' Policy Against Using Seller Specific Data Hasn't Been Violated
Now they're just laughing in our faces.

Highlights of Lord Zuck's testimony before Congress: "Yeah, but we're not as bad as Amazon and Google."

New York Giants' Nate Solder will not play this NFL season because of health concerns
However, he will continue his work on circuit boards and general electronics.

On Sunday 3 May, the government of Nicolas Maduro announced Venezuela's armed forces had repelled an armed incursion. Operation Gideon was a deeply flawed coup attempt. But what would compel exiled Venezuelans and former US Special Forces soldiers to join a plan that, from the outset, looked like a suicide mission? 

The CIA?

After hundreds of years of requests, England's government will investigate why there are so many stones in the ground.

The latest Mars rover, Perseverance, launched the other day. 
The Martians are starting to formally complain that we're sending too much junk to the planet. They got tired of messing with the rovers, lining up rocks to say "Earthmen are pussies" and spray painting Martian graffiti on them:
  • Earthmen go home!
  • We're telling you, there's no one here
  • HOW many genders?

I go to sit on the couch, my ancestral home, and the first thing I notice is a drug company pamphlet, asking "Are you having trouble swallowing?" Everybody swallows just fine, thank you.

The creators of an AI that tried to predict gender from their internet handle or email address shut down after the tool was found to be sexist. Among their complaints...
  • anything with Nurse was female, Doctor was male
  • there were only TWO genders!
  • the opening screen said nothing about Black Lives Matter
  • the program didn't take a knee before supplying its answer

My friend's wife thinks she was bitten by a bat. She rushed to the hospital and decided to self-quarantine for a week. I don't know what she's worried about: American bats are more likely to carry rabies, which requires a series of painful shots. She won't get The Flying AIDS unless she goes to China and gets bitten by one of their bats. If she starts foaming at the mouth, it's safe to remove your masks.

IBM Launches Fully Homomorphic Encryption (FHE) Toolkit for Linux
SJWs go insane (further), demanding IBM be canceled over homophobia.

Everything new is old again: my new laptop doesn't have an optical drive.
Way back when I started, all laptops had floppy drives only. If you needed a CDROM drive, you had to buy an external one. It also doesn't have a modem, which I stopped using in the 90s. Oddly, it has an SD card slot and too few USB ports.

There was a shooting at the 25th District police station in Chicago. 2 officers were down and the shooter was in custody. Most importantly, there was a report of police protesters en route to the station. The protesters are trying to get their response time down so they're on-scene before the police.

Hong Kong is on its 3rd wave of The Flying AIDS.
WTF is wrong with America, which is only on its 2nd wave? The US needs to lead the world in something other than military spending, knowwhatimsaying?

Friday, July 31, 2020

Pickle Green Houses

If you're feeling down because you've run out of toxic substances to ingest to kill the Flying AIDS, not to worry; the Food and Drug Administration is finding methanol (poisonous) in many hand sanitizers. That's a real load off my mind.

Your love is like a pickaxe to the eye.

States are running out of doctors and nurses as the Flying AIDS surges.
Well, what do you expect? They're so damn tasty.

Trumpie is after social media sites for anti-conservative bias and has submitted his complaint to the FCC. The FCC's tentative response is, "Huh? WTF you want us to do? We're only here to give away frequency spectrum to large corporations and industries."

Sorry, Donald. Although even infants can see the anti-conservative bias, you can't regulate the speech of private entities. You'd do better to go after whatever is pushing all social media to display the bias (but we can't have that).

Speaking of which, Twitter suspended Trump, Jr for 'misinformation'. If science hasn't figured the Flying AIDS out yet, how can his speech be misinformation? I smell agenda....

Virgin Galactic is going to launch people into space. Unfortunately, it will also bring them back. Some of us can save the outrageous cost because we're already out there.

Medical Science Does it Again

Researchers at the University of York traced the source of underarm odor to a particular enzyme in a certain microbe that lives in the human armpit.  Microbes? In my armpits? If they transfer the microbe to your nose, your nose will smell.

Two theoretical physicists specializing in complex systems conclude that global deforestation due to human activities is on track to trigger the "irreversible collapse" of human civilization within the next two to four decades.   Guys... you don't need a serious degree or even much school to see this coming. Have you read Twitter or Faceyspaces lately? Been in Seattle? That ship has sailed.

I'm watching my British tv again. There was a commercial for ice cream that references Cornish something or other. I know there are a ton of accents, Scottish and Wales-ish are among the most difficult to understand. But this commercial had 3 people saying 'things', then the name of the ice cream. I got the name, but the rest was an absolute blob. The mind wants to classify things, but there was no reference for this- it was just a jumbled mess. I suggested we talk to some professorial type expert in ancient languages, only found on pillars and pottery, perhaps pre-Egyptian, where everybody had pointed heads and men wore eye shadow, like Spock.

Scientists Pull Living Microbes, Possibly 100 Million Years Old, From Beneath the Sea.  Scientists named them McConnell-Pelosius.

A guitar I have been considering just dropped in price.
Is this a sign or what?
I told Mrs lefty that I just saved her hundreds of dollars. She remains unimpressed and suggested something anatomically impossible.

So about the Amazon/Goog devices you put in your house to spy on you?
A scientific paper is about to be released, which details a frightening amount of skills/actions without a privacy policy.  I'm going to keep banging away at this (because it feels so good when the pain stops).

Told You So

You're gonna be shocked... the goog is being sued for collecting your private information in Chrome, even though you opted not to. As Chrome is the #1 browser, you should really drop it.

If you're on Twitter, Kaspersky has settings for maximum privacy.
I'd avoid the suggestion about low value tweets, though. You don't need Twitter's 'help' plus you can blacklist anything you don't like.

I got caught in a YouTube rabbit hole. The best thing I found is this one, a mashup of guys reacting to Stevie Ray Vaughan.  There's hope for us yet.

I learned stuff today.
Well, not so much learned, as reinforced. My front doorknob was so hot, you could fry a hippopotamus on it. As I was taking trash out, a hedge trimmer fell on my foot. I know, I know... you can't swing a dead Ford without hedge trimmers falling on you, so why complain?  On the positive side, I don't believe Idiot Governor or Idiot Mayor require masks to take out the trash.

So what got reinforced? Don't leave the house.

If you think your job is tough, my employer put together a committee to figure out how to make the icons the same color in every department.

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

The Dude pedal [Guitar Content Only]

A very popular and incredibly expensive amp [Dumble] is sought out by many guitarists, until they learn the price. The last one I saw was listed at $50k, but I've heard that's not the most expensive. Users include Stevie Ray Vaughan (not anymore), Robben Ford, Larry Carlton, Ben Harper, and others. Dumble did some magic with the preamp to make a tone that's distorted at lower volumes and sounds great. You're not likely to get a new one these days, so others have stepped in, including Bludotone, Two Rock, and others, including Ceriatone, where you can get yours in kit form or magnificently built.

Carlton and Ford realized it was expensive to tote amps around Europe, so sometimes they found other ways. Ford used the Zendrive pedal, which is available in a few different forms and versions. There are so many Dumble-like pedals, it's near impossible to decide. Even the very cheap knockoffs can be had for well under $100. Here's where your work comes in: you need to research the pedals, whether locally, loan, or YouTube. YouTube is indispensable for hearing equipment. Whatever it is, someone put several demos on YouTube. The best video, in my opinion (it's my damn blog), is That Pedal Show's shootout of 7 pedals claiming D-tone. Let's ignore the fact that none of us have Dumbles and we may not be able to identify the tone. The guys thoroughly go through the pedals, that range from about $140 to about $600. The funniest/saddest entry was the combination of the Blues Driver and GE-7 Equalizer, which got them into the general neighborhood. The pedals were all pretty good, but I liked The Dude; for its similarity and tone in general.

At this level, we're subject to the 80/20 price/performance triple-tone Special Rule<tm>. This is where all the pedals sound great and close to their mark, but how much more are you willing to spend to sound the closest? I couldn't rationalize $600 for a pedal, so I waited for a good deal on a Dude. The Mad Professor Simble is another winner, to my ears, just from listening on YouTube. The aforementioned 80/20 price/performance triple-tone Special Rule<tm> also demands you look at the input and output jacks. You have to see whether they're on the front or the side of the box... this determines part of the tone*. I'm not going to give it away - do the research.       * I made that up

Special mention to Wampler. Everything I've seen of theirs is high quality and sounds great. Their entry was the Euphoria.  Let's not even speak of the Marshall pedals... tons to sound like every version of Marshall. Hint: listen to the MI Audio Super Crunch Box.

The first thing I noticed was The Dude was a lot smaller than I expected.
I have no idea why I expected a larger pedal, but there it is. I like big pedals - they're much harder to fit on pedalboards, and cause other guitarists to have fits. If you can't cause fits with your pedals, you have to do it with your playing. I am doubly talented, in that I can cause fits with either.  The pedal is also very solid, which is great as a weapon if the crowd (or other band members) attacks. Because The Dude traveled so far to get to my house, I let it sit in its box for 24 hours, to settle in and adjust its mojo to my house. If you play it too early, it may not have its mojo set yet, or use the mojo from its prior owner. Do you really want a pedal with mojo from Utah? Well, maybe you do... Utah is run by the Mormons, but consumes the most traffic from Pornhub of any state.

Where was I?
Oh yeah, Duding.
I assume you can power the pedal with a battery, but I wouldn't bother. It could take a week to get it open. Who uses batteries anyway? Ok, Eric Johnson prefers his batteries at 7v, but we're not Eric Johnson, are we? [If we are Eric Johnson, send me a message - we have things to discuss.] The pedal is black.. I hope I don't offend anybody by saying that. The writing is white, and I don't imagine it will show up well onstage. Since I rarely get onstage, it's a moot point. My wife would prefer a mute point.

I've been playing guitar since after the Moon landing, and I've collected huge amounts of Goodies. Naturally this means there is not a 9v adapter in the entire house. I think they hid when they heard I needed one. I just bought some other pedals and I know they needed adapters too. Nope - not one. So I discovered The Dude accepts a 9v battery, because I had to take one out of a different box, because we have no 9v batteries either. Do you see where this is going? I keep watching stuff leap off shelves at my wife. We're calling an exorcist later this week.

Fortunately The Dude works. I know this because the green light glowed. I never paid attention to LEDs until I got a Danelectro pedal with a piercing blue LED. The blue ones sound better than the green ones. Don't let anyone know I told you so. It will be our little tone secret, ok?

The YouTube demos get you the general idea, but you really have to play with something yourself (NO, don't do it) to get a real idea of how it handles. Let's start with the SRV fans: if you're buying this pedal to keep the gain all the way down and the volume up to overload your amp, you are going to be very disappointed. The volume control is heavily dependent on the gain control, so by the time you get much output, you have too much gain to cleanly overdrive your amp. This is the single warning I can pass along, but if you were that concerned, you'd have already bought a Tube Screamer, or one of the 666 variations of it.

Now for the fun part: the moment you plug in til the moment you have to be torn away from playing. This is a seriously fun pedal. Again, I have never played through a Dumble, but this pedal stands up well on its own. It has a very wide range of tones and way more gain than I thought it would. Forget using it for clean stuff or backing your guitar's volume to 2 - you'll just get less grit.

The Dude has 4 knobs: volume (volume), treble (treble), ratio (boost/gain), and deep (thick). They do more or less what you'd expect them to do. Deep is something you will need to play with. After playing around, I kept it at 9:00 because the tone got too 'large' above that setting. It probably wouldn't record well any higher.  Most of your attention will be focused on the ratio control. It goes from Smooth all the way to Too Much. I wound up with it around 9:00 too. It starts with a smooth, silky tone, which the treble control can do very little to ruin. I test stuff out through my Marshall Code 25 because it's tiny, solid state, and some of the presets are anemic, to be polite. If it sounds good through this, it will love my real Marshall and Fenders. The tone is large, brown-ish and smooth overall. It gets larger and way distorted as you turn it up, but still brown-ish. I think the key is not to crank the treble knob. In fact, it's almost too heavy (for me) past 12:00. It's fat and chewy at all levels. It doesn't sound like any pedals (or amps) I have, and I have a few. It's hard to give you a 'sounds like.'  It's more of an overdrive than anything else, with gain to spare.

Bottom line: buy the damn thing, used or new. If nothing else, it will give you a large, smooth tone to add to your palette. With a little tweaking, it will make you Larry Carlton and Robben Ford (assuming you can play like them). It's reasonably priced (roughly $140+ used, check Reverb) and music to my ears. I hate everything, so when I say something nice, it might be worth checking out. In the meantime, check out the reviews on YouTube.  I want to make my own channel, but video isn't my specialty and I'm too ugly to appear on video, so I'd have to find a good looking person to front for me (Sofia Vergara, anyone?).

If you have any questions, ask in the comments.
I'll post further observations as I play with it more (don't you dare).

At some point, I'll A/B it with the Lovepedal Superlead (dimed Marshall tones). If  I'm feeling particularly prickly that day, I'll A/B it with a phase shifter and a washboard.

Beef Tea?

The FAA ordered inspections of 737s after 4 non-fatal engine shutdowns.
They missed hanging out with the 737 MAXes, so now they're together.

San Francisco is not happy about naming a hospital for The Zuck.  They don't want to be associated with Faceyspaces, in spite of the $75 million donation.

I always wondered how there was a single unix user showing up in the stats. This person must be responsible for the single Lynx browser entry. If you don't know what this means, forget you ever saw it... I was not here and this did not happen.

Dear lefty:

  • You offended me and I'm never coming back
  • Good.  May all your pizzas have those huge bubbles in them.

Told You So

Google peeks into your android phone to spy on usage of their and 3rd party apps. Among other things, no doubt.

President Trump's re-election campaign has accused Verizon, AT&T, and T-Mobile of "suppression of political speech" over the carriers' blocking of spam texts sent by the campaign.  This one's loaded with issues... nobody likes spam. On the other hand, any political speech, at this point, is allowed to reach end users, unsolicited. How about we meet in the middle and stop political speech from reaching our phones?

"DNA is millions of times more efficient at storing data than your laptop's magnetic hard drive," reports Popular Mechanics."

Hey Bob... going to get that new hard drive for your laptop?
Heck no, Stan, I'm going to jack it straight into my nipple. My DNA can store my entire 4 terabyte pr0n collection, free!

Your love is like an aluminum baseball bat to the head

This should go completely unnoticed:

An Arkansas senator has described slavery as a "necessary evil" on which the American nation was built. Read the article - the phrase was first uttered by the Founding Fathers. But still.....

Ginsburg: 'I Am Mentally Fit Enough To Serve Through The End Of President Eisenhower's Term'    - Babylon Bee

Money burning a hole in your pocket?
The camera that took the footage of Rodney King getting beaten is up for auction. Bidding starts at $225,000, so get your cash ready!

Famotidine (Pepcid) has no effect against The Flying AIDS.
Ranitidine (Zantac) can give you cancer - call 1-800-SUE-NOWZ
Other things ineffective against The Flying AIDS:
applesauce, bleach, gunpowder, detergent pods (but they're still yummy), car exhaust, belly button lint, and urine. Anthrax is starting to show promise.

Headline: Google search trends used to calculate floating prophylactic prices
I made my fortune in rubber 

People in several states are receiving packets of seeds, which appear to be from China. The Feds are on it, testing the seeds to make sure they're not harmful. They are warning everyone not to plant the seeds.

I'm proud of my country; it's a country of action. If there's a link, we'll click on it. If there's a detergent pod, we'll eat it. If the sign says 55mph, we'll drive faster!

Yes, Maude?
We got a box today.
That's nice, Maude.
It was kinda heavy.
Let's open it.
Let's not.
Oh, look.. it's a... bomb?
Gee, you don't see those every day.
Ooh, it didn't come with any instructions. It's 2020 - you'd think people would send bombs out with instructions. It just says "BOMB" on it.
I know - I'll put it on the stove. Let's see.... I made sure it was flat, and I pushed the button.
WHAT button?
The Bomb button, of course.
Maude, someone sent us a bomb and you armed it?
Well, it had a button on it. I had to. I sure wish there was some federal authority to tell us not to blow it up.

We bought a Spaniel Enrichment Device. It's a board with 6 slides, under which you put a treat and the dog has to figure out how to get it. She sniffed, looked unhappy, then figured it out in short order. Phew... we thought maybe she was one of the special puppies.....


The NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL announced studies on social distancing, so they know how far apart to kneel.

Surveillance is racist.
Ok, nobody said it directly yet, but Rite Aid pharmacies put facial recognition cameras in  hundreds of stores in low income and less white neighborhoods.
Rite Aid said the rollout was “data-driven,” based on stores’ theft histories, local and national crime data and site infrastructure.
Rite Aid dumped the program because facts are racist.
Not that anybody likes surveillance. Walgreen's uses one for advertising, so we don't shop there.

Sunday, July 26, 2020

Your Love is Like a Halo

Your love is like a halo - it puts pins in my head

Why is it that Male Pattern Baldness does not affect ear hair?

Here it comes.....

U.S. agrees to pay Pfizer and BioNTech $2 billion for 100 million doses of coronavirus vaccine

HHS said Americans won’t have to pay for it.
aside from the $2 billion, of course...

Currently, vaccine manufacturers are 'immune' from lawsuits.

Also, we will have to wait until the vaccine has passed the process, which can take years.

Along those lines, Russian elite have been given an experimental vaccine since April. I like the idea. American elite should be given one too. The side effects will be hilarious.

Dear lefty

  • My dog left me, my wife left me, and my pickup truck has 4 flat tires. What do I do?
  • Go into country music - you have a major hit on your hands.

De-facto censorship continues

QAnon and thousands of other accounts were kicked off Twitter, as 'coordinated harmful activity.'  Yes, it's Twitter's platform, but when you look at the same activity across many platforms, it's clear that many are being de-platformed. Twitter and Reddit actually boasted they were free speech initially. My how things change. I'm not saying I agree with them or they're correct - I'm just pointing out the suppression. As for claims of violence, I can't say if they're true, but Antifa has not been de-platformed.

The FBI last year warned that QAnon and other "anti-government, identity-based, and fringe political conspiracy theories" posed a concrete threat to domestic safety.

In the past years, bible enthusiasts, people with American flags, Ron Paul supporters, and 2nd Amendment supporters were on 'the list' too.  Looks like led censorship across the board.  I'd rather see all the options and make my own decisions - not what's 'acceptable.'  The only free speech platform left is Gab.

In case you think this is an American issue, a study concluded lies are spread easily in the UK because the nation lacks a law to regulate social media. Huh?  How much more blatantly can you say 'censor social media'? Any pretense of free speech has gone down the loo (no, there is no official declaration of free speech in the UK).

Philly Genius
City officials say recycling pickup on will be suspended on Monday and Tuesday of next week as sanitation workers continue to manage the overflow of trash that has accumulated across the city.

Russian readers: KFC is testing 3D-printed chicken nuggets. If you're brave enough, let everyone know how tasty they are.

In guitar news, the first left handed Fender Telecaster (1951) is up for sale.
It's discounted from $150,000 to $120,000. I told Mrs lefty I saved her $30,000!
She seems less impressed than I thought she'd be.

Remember when one player on a team started kneeling for BLM?
Today one player didn't kneel for BLM and it made the news. He cited his Christian faith and he didn't like Marxism, which BLM stands for.

SJWs in Weird Places?

VMware to stop describing hardware as male and female, as well as removing abort, segregate, and kill.

How systemic racism weakens cybersecurity

To understand what's wrong with our public education system, you have to look at what's arguably the most powerful force in schools: White parents.   - The New York Times

A longtime writer for textbook publisher McGraw Hill is planning to capitalize the b in Black in a lengthy revision to a history textbook

BREAKING: Biden wishes public schools taught more about Islam; promises Muslims he will end terrorism-related ban on immigration from high-risk Islamic nations "on Day One"

Chicago Mayor Implies That Donald Trump Sending Federal Agents To Help With Violence Is Sexist

Black K-Pop fans continue to face racism.
I don't understand most of this and I don't want to.
When one group put their hair in cornrows, black people screamed CULTURAL APPROPRIATION. Strangely, black women with long, straight hair are also culturally appropriating, so we need to apply this term all around or not at all.

The National Association of Insurance Commissioners (NAIC) has announced the formation of a special committee focused on Race and Insurance

Friday, July 24, 2020

Your Love is Like a Cranial Injury Requiring Surgery

Much as we bitched about the Loud Family selling the house to the Loud Power Tool Family, we're sad to see the Power Tool Family move. Not that I've said more than 3 words to them.. that's what Mrs lefty is for. Mrs lefty will miss them. The only issue we had was asking the neighborhood bigot how we should feel about the mixed-race couple. Mrs lefty already already knows the new owners, who are also a racially-mixed couple. The neighborhood bigot said, "That's how they sneak in... only one of em is black. Before you know it, everyone's black. Git out now!"   At least we don't have none of them uppity ones.

The Evil Empire(s)

Microsoft accused of sharing data of Office 365 business subscribers with Facebook and its app devs

Read carefully.  MS (business) claims of privacy are false.
"In fact, contrary to its representations, Microsoft has regularly shared – and continues to share – its business customers' data with Facebook and other third parties," the complaint says. "The data is shared even when neither the customers nor their contacts are Facebook users."
Federal and other laws have been violated. Contacts have been shared.
If you think for a moment that this doesn't apply on the personal side of MS products....

Kanye for president?
Britney for vice president?
Corey Feldman for speaker?

Work has an interesting culture.
What about the Microsoft Teams BUSY indicator tells people to text and call me?  Of course this works both ways: when their indicator says PRESENTING, I like to email them to task if they're going through with the sex change operation, which pops up on their screen while they're presenting.

Also, when the company talks about sexual harassment training, why does everybody always look at me?

But seriously, it's a very unique place. There is no harassment of any kind, because people just don't care. They're busy doing (or avoiding) their work. Everybody gets along fine, even the kikes and wops and spics and micks. Sure, one lady snores so loudly that the entire area can hear her, but she'll be promoted out of there shortly. My buddies are smarter than that: they got promoted to an office, where no one can hear them snore. That's some prime napping time there.

They spend a lot of time talking about the next automatic weapon they're purchasing, so there's no talk of gun control (out loud).

Remember: not caring looks an awful lot like tolerance, so at least you have that.

Speaking of which, work has an Office Re-Opening Committee.
This ensures we will not reopen for years, if ever.

Dear lefty:

  • Morris Morris, from Morrisville, Mississippi, asks why Dear lefty went missing for months
  • Dear Mossie: because you're ugly and not very smart

Sydney police 'asked woman to remove tampon' in strip-search
Yet people complain when police aren't thorough....

Speaking of Australia, Wife was watching some show with bits of musicals.

Mein Gott, that's horrid. What is it?
It's Oklahoma. Haven't you ever seen Oklahoma?
No, my parents liked me.
You were deprived as a child.
You mean 'depraved.'

Told You So

When I saw the commercials for ancestry via DNA services, I said NOOOO - your results will get shared with insurers, marketers, and the feds.

lefty, you're paranoid. They specifically state they won't share.

POOF - FBI gets access to records

I told you not to put the stuff In The Cloud.

lefty, you're anti-technology. Everything's in The Cloud.

POOF - 60,000 records left exposed to the internet

When I was little, my friends taught me sports. Today it might look different:

Hey guys, let's play football

Jimmy, are you ok? Did you hurt something?
No, lefty, I'm taking a knee.
Where are you taking it?
No, this is because black lives matter.
Is this like a field goal?
No, you don't score game points - you score social points. You do it when people sing the national anthem.
Do we have to sing the national anthem when we play in the street?
Team: shut up, lefty.

Jimmy, aren't you running the wrong way down the field?
Yes, but I'm doing it for justice.
Isn't justice determined by the court system?
Team: shut up, lefty.

...which is why I play the guitar instead of sports.

SJW Silliness

The NBA commercial said that they have a fight for justice, as well as a fight for the championship.

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Your Love is Like a Heatwave?

Here we are, day 2(?) of our particularly nasty heatwave.
Yesterday I did dishes next to the open window. It was so hot outside that I had to run my hands under hot water to cool down.

A good deal of the potential damage from the heat is psychological. No, really.... Mrs lefty was already up and worried at 7am, that she was going to dehydrate and sweat to death in the heat. With typical logic (NO!), I suggested she not go out.

Heh heh.

"But I have to go to Sal's," she offered.

Are the places you need to go that important?

"Well, there's Sal's and Home Repo is across the street."

Let me see if I have this right: you're worried about going out in the oppressive heat but have to go to the deli - it's an emergency.

"Yes. I'm out of the XXXX-Rated stuff."

You can get that online. Or so I hear.

"No, you pervert, the cheese."

Mrs lefty likes her sharp provolone. I save the effort of remembering which cheese it is by simply calling it Sock Cheese. It smells like dirty gym socks, marinated for an entire season in fish oil. When she puts it on something she's eating, I have to eat in the next county so I don't get ill. It's nauseating.

So you're running out in 100 degree temps, that partially disable you, to get cheese. Has Idiot Governor dubbed it Essential?

"No, *I* have dubbed it essential. Besides, I have to go to Home Repo too."

They don't sell cheese there, right?

"No I need a few things."

[Uh-oh. A few things can be anything from seeds to a lawn tractor.]

And are there any shoe stores anywhere between Home Repo and our house?

"I promise....."


Missouri governor's comments on the Flying AIDS and children:
“These kids have got to get back to school,” Parson told Cox. “They’re at the lowest risk possible. And if they do get COVID-19, which they will — and they will when they go to school — they’re not going to the hospitals. They’re not going to have to sit in doctor’s offices. They’re going to go home and they’re going to get over it.”
P.S. homeschool

3 weeks ago, I ordered some parts online. One package showed up in a few days. It was in a tiny plastic bag, in an envelope that would hold cinderblocks. The 2nd tiny plastic bag arrived 3 weeks later, from California.

I check where the parts ship from to make sure it's not China, because I don't want to wait the lifetime of a Siberean hamster to get them. These shipped from California. Has the Flying AIDS halted shipping? Or has the Flying AIDS halted shipping out of California? Has Idiot Governor Newsom enacted a law installing a wait time before shipping anything? I have literally gotten packages faster from China. Tiny electronic parts.

It Continues....

Federal judge's son, 20, is shot dead and her criminal defense attorney husband is critically injured after a gunman disguised as a FedEx driver ambushed their home - four days after she was assigned a case linked to Jeffrey Epstein

This case dealt with money laundering and a specific bank.   
The most frightened person on the face of the Earth has to be Ghislane. Not only is she in jail, but she won't get a hearing til next year. Any bets?

Indonesia is trying to crack down on bride kidnapping, where women are kidnapped for marriage. Good for Indonesia - marriage is frightening enough when you volunteer for it.

A Vaccine!

We're starting to hear about a Flying AIDS vaccine.
Beware quick miracle vaccines. Any vaccine for any malady would take a long time to come up with, then a longer time to go through clinical trials. This is science fact.

Just sayin....

"I heard on Wendy about....."

Stop. Not interested.

"I was just sayin....blah blah blah."

The problem with 'just sayin' is that you don't stop sayin....

Sexual Harassment in the Workplace
a how-to

  • Always remember: workplace sexual harassment is only harassment if it's unwanted.
  • One corporate manual forbade sexual 'looks.'  But only when accompanied by a tongue sticking more than 1/2" out of the mouth.
  • Most organizations have completely eliminated sexual harassment: everyone works at home. This causes an undue burden on the harassers, who have to come up with new and more creative ways to harass.
  • Begging for oral favors is not harassment, because it's not a condition of work. It's more of an annoyance.
  • If you feel you are being harassed, contact your supervisor (or social media). This is not recommended, because you know what happens to whistleblowers... snitches get stitches.
  • The Americans with Disabilities Act doubly forbids harassment of people with disabilities. This came as a shock to the people with disabilities, who would like a little harassment now and then.

My Nigerian great-grandfather sold slaves
Ooh, that's gonna be inconvenient for the SJWs....

SJW Follies

Seattle Councilmember Lisa Herbold suggests SPD fire white cops

Monday, July 20, 2020

The Emotional Evils of Ebay

I don't get out much, nor does my house's heater.
I don't even get online much, also like my house's heater.
Way back, I used to spend a lot of time on Ebay, to the point of having little brown boxes showing up at my door daily. If I didn't do a few transactions per week, Mr. Ebay would call me up to make sure I was feeling ok, much like Shoe Shopping Network and Mrs lefty. Eventually it occurred to me that I had to keep paying for these things and other things started happening, so the boxes stopped. No so Mrs lefty and the shoes.

Mrs lefty understands Ebay but doesn't spend a lot of time there. Being an occasionally nice husband, I occasionally point out a thing or two, like some amazing shoes and stuff she likes. If I were possessed of any live brain cells at all, I'd have stopped showing her additional ways of shopping a long time ago, but we know of my great love for shooting myself in the foot. In fact, at this point, I know of 437 ways to shoot myself in the foot, backed up by xrays. To make matters more evil, Ebay has this relative new thing... Ebay is on its way to becoming sentient, like Sky Corp, but more expensive. Wife was looking at shoes, just doing what came natural to her, and checking the Watch button on pairs she liked. She quickly learned the button can only store 500 pairs at a time, so she pared back. The thing that shows Ebay is almost alive is where Ebay watches the watch list. If the item (we'll call it shoes) doesn't look like it's going to sell, Ebay will email you that you can buy it for $20 off or some other discount. In my second shot at my foot that day, I told my wife the shoes were $20 off. BINGO - through the foot and the wallet at the same time!

I'm going to put a guitar on the Watch List, to see what happens.

If you think Ebay is bad, Amazon is already sentient. It knows exactly what you bought and can tell you what you're going to buy next. Every now and then I buy some baby toys or high heels to confuse it.

We're on the eve, or the beginning, of  a serious heatwave. No, not the song, the temperature. I hear it's going to feel like 100 on the beach in New Jersey tomorrow. Good thing we're not in New Jersey, eh? We got a break, in that it's only going to be 99 here. So many benefits of not living in New Jersey.  Due first to the Flying AIDS, and now to the temperature, we don't get out much anyway, so we're less likely to notice how hot it is, except when we lay under the car on in the driveway. To this day, we have no idea why. The only way we really know it's hot is when the news has wall to wall coverage of how HOT it's going to be. It's just like the 5 days' warning we're going to get 1/4" of snow in the winter. WARNING: we're going to have WEATHER tomorrow!

Another thing the Flying AIDS has killed is my only summer activities: guitar shows and electronics flea markets (hamfests). Thus far, they're all canceled. We know that less time out of the house is more time in the house, which means the strain goes back on Mrs lefty.  Even though places are opening up, they still require masks, and I refuse. They make my nose sweat and annoy me. So I'm still in the house, questioning my life choices.

Florida's a mess, but this time due to the Flying AIDS, which is on the rebound. They're thinking of locking down again. I say go ahead - the more of Florida locked down, the better off the rest of the states.

Speaking of Florida, a fatal motorcycle crash was listed as a Fying AIDS death. Asked to check again, the death was removed from the Flying AIDS list. Because sometimes it's hard to differentiate between a bloody motorcycle crash and a disease. They look so much alike. Looking further, other deaths that might be removed from the Flying AIDS list involved explosions, suicide by gun, leaping off buildings, and claiming to have evidence against the Clintons.

In today's Mask Follies, a woman urinated on the floor after refusing to don a mask at a Verizon store. Police had better investigate thoroughly; things are not always what they seem. Perhaps it was a statement on the quality of Verizon's service...

An NBC Sports jockey is filing suit, claiming discrimination because he's a heterosexual.

Hundreds of people tried to pull down the very large Columbus statue in Chicago. You know, these people can probably make good money in demolition. Why don't they get jobs?

In the midst of everyone having to bow down to Black Lives Matter, everything stopped while a black guy had to do an Apology Tour to be sorry to the Jews. That's power.

This is killing me... hundreds of advertisers are cutting spending on Faceyspaces. I almost feel guilty for laughing.*               *not really

A Kentucky couple was fitted with ankle monitors and placed on house arrest after the wife tested positive for coronavirus but refused to sign self-quarantine documents, according to reports. See what happens when being kept inside for too long stops drunk tractor racing?

not available on ebay

Saturday, July 18, 2020

Your Badger Ate My Transmission

If you've been awake at all, you'll know of Atomwaffen Division, a white supremacist group that celebrates both Hitler and Charles Manson.

Ok, I get the Hitler thing. It's standard. But good old Charlie Manson?
Can you tell the members of the group by the swastikas scrawled into their foreheads? Do they think Kanye is talking to them?

Why do I have to read BBC news to discover there's an American rapper called Megan Thee Stallion? Grade school must've been rough for her.

Further investigation reveals that a stallion is a male horse. Apparently this is ok, whereas if I identified as lefty the princess, people would laugh. The sexes will not be equal until this is addressed.

While we're beating a dead ... stallion... there's also a Tory Lanez, which is suspiciously close to adult star Tory Lane.

Minnesota, lately known for police killing a black man, is now using drones to spot nude beachgoers at an unofficial nude beach. True to form, police were accused of approaching black beachgoers first.  Black Breasts Matter.

Best thing on Twitter in the past month:
As a trans woman, it is literally an act of violence to refuse to suck my dick.

SJWs Attack Psych

Let's avoid talk of 'chemical imbalance': it's people in distress.

Atheism is an overwhelmingly (almost exclusively) white, western, wealthy male phenomenon. Should it be cancelled?  [Thaddeus Williams]

The National Museum of African American History & Culture defines White Culture as including: rugged individualism, nuclear family, emphasis on scientific method, work ethic, etc.  Is this a bad thing?

Rolling Stone writer (Jamil Smith) calls for the word "pro-life" to be retired because it's 'racist.'

Teen Vogue: Sleep is Systematically Racist

Ashville, North Carolina, has unanimously voted to give financial reparations to black people..... just days after the county's health board declared racism a public health crisis.

College biology textbooks still portray a world of white [male] scientists

proof of the conspiracy to end covid testing