Your Mother Sucks YooHoo with a Straw

Bought an HP printer lately? They would like you to approve sending data to them about your device and what you print. And join their Ink Club. Haven't seen this on linux after I bought my new printer. Windows beware.



Our best wishes for the people of Dallas, who just got hit with a tornado.
Remember: for every massive, dangerous event, there will be hundreds who walk into it to take video.



Dear lefty

• Why do people behave so poorly while driving or online?
• Because if you put a windshield or keyboard in front of people, you get Instant Asshole<tm>.

No thank you, I'd rather  wear a MAGA hat to an antifa riot

• In China, knives are registered to a person's ID and must be kept tied down.
• The UK is jealous.
• There are surveillance cameras everywhere.
• The US is jealous.
• Children are looked out for when parents are sent to re-education camps.
• Bill De Blasio is jealous.

• I'm sure it's physics, but I'm not too good with physics. When I pick up one of those tumblers that keep coffee warm and push the button, it goes POP, and sprays coffee in my face. Now I know how Mrs lefty feels.

Today I identify as my wife's bra - I hold them up all day

• True to its idiotic functions, the Senate passed a ransomware law. It will 'protect' Chuck Schumer's district schools from ransomware.
• Schumer is also working on a law to protect schools from bad weather and cancer.

Come for the disaster, stay for the finger-pointing

Councilman "mind-boggled" by Baltimore City IT department ineptitude.

This is irony in its highest form: a councilman being mind-boggled, and referring to a department as inept.

Not that he doesn't have something of a point.... IT audit information was kept on individual computers, not on servers, and not backed up. That's certainly inept. I think the entire process should be audited, from acquisition to education, to actual use. I have a hunch there will be 'irregularities' found at each step.

Meanwhile, the taxpayers are on the hook for $18 million (so far). Because you KNOW no one else is going to pay... the taxpayers will soon be mind-boggled too.




Heroes of the Stupid

A five year autistic old boy has been put on record as a sex offender after hugging a classmate.

Tesla's autopilot has been found partially responsible for a crash on an L.A. freeway. Out of a long ride, the 'driver' had his hands on the wheel for 51 seconds, none of which were close to the crash, when he was looking down at something. The manual repeatedly states not to do this. He had a copy of the manual, but never read it.  Once again, the technology is not ready for prime time.



SJW Ravings

Mattel's newest dolls can be boys, girls, neither, or both.

• Quantum doll: identifies as both, but only when you observe it
• Republican doll: refers to abortion as murder, blames democrat doll, raises taxes and debt
• Democrat doll: criminalizes speech, blames republican doll, raises taxes and debt
• Libertarian doll: leaves the other dolls alone, why are you asking?
• Car Mechanic doll: looks roughly the same, regardless of gender
• Common features: believe they can be anything! (by claiming they are)
• Hollywood doll: identifies as neither gender, identifies as important, blames republican doll

Seattle Public Schools have a K-12 Math Ethnic Studies Framework.
You read that right.
Allow me to give you highlights:

Power and oppression, as defined by ethnic studies, are the ways in which individuals and groups define mathematical knowledge so as to see “Western” mathematics as the only legitimate expression of mathematical identity and intelligence. This definition of legitimacy is then used to disenfranchise people and communities of color. This erases the historical contributions of people and communities of color.

Students will be confident in their ability to construct & decode mathematical knowledge, truth, and beauty so they can contribute to their experiences and the experiences of people in their community 

Mathematical theory and application is rooted in the ancient histories of people and empires of color

​Where does power and oppression show up in our math experiences?

How has math been used to resist and liberate people and communities of color from oppression?

Gravity is culturally oppressive, By accepting the white definition of gravity as 'a law,' it oppresses people of color and people who see gravity as more of a suggestion.   [I made this up]

This can't be real. If it is, I'm even more glad I don't have kids.


New York City attacks the First Amendment with a $250,000 fine for saying "Illegal Alien." This is patently unconstitutional and will fall with the first lawsuit.




This is a 1979 left handed Fender antigua Stratocaster.
Underneath is my well-played 1977, which is my favorite.
I want this guitar very badly.
The guitar store wants $4,000 plus shipping (from Japan). The guitar is worth maybe half that. This is the major problem with being left handed.
I am sad.

1979 lefty Fender antigua Stratocaster

my 1977 lefty Fender antigua Stratocaster

Taylor Time

This is a guitar-only post. Ignore at your pleasure.



I've got a gig coming up.
I took my crappy acoustic out to practice and realized it's even crappier than I thought. The thing sounds like shit. In fact, it's so bad that it sounds better through the passive electronics than acoustically.

Out shopping for Guitar Stuff in general, I came across Taylor's lower line lefty, the 114 (I think). It went for the bargain price of $899. This is the bottom or close to bottom guitar they sell. Yes, I know this was pretty expensive for someone born before 2000. I loved the feel of the guitar and was considering purchasing it on the spot - it would be great for the gig.

Taylors are designed to feel electric, which sounding acoustic and they succeeded. But there was something I didn't like. It turned out to be the top, which felt and sounded a little flimsy.  Mind you, it was still a good guitar, but if I were going to spend that much, I want to be ridiculously happy with it. The next one up was $999. Since I'm a lefty, there were exactly none to be found.

Online I came across a stunning cobalt blue T5, which is Taylor's attempt to make a guitar that can do both acoustic and electric sounds. This was even more expensive, but what the hell... I always wanted a blue guitar (that is not the only criterion, thank you). My reasoning side locked my impulsive side in the heavily-fortified closet for a bit, while it went out to do research. YouTube is a great place to do research on almost anything, and sure enough, there were a few videos. They show that it's a great, comfortable guitar, which makes all sorts of sounds that you won't get from an electric or an acoustic. It did everything. Except make a sound like a large acoustic, which was the idea from the start. I have electrics - I don't have a good acoustic. It's a shame because the reviews were spectacular. Some of these people wanted to marry their T5.

Discouraged, I looked at the 214's.
The funny thing about the price ($999) was that everyone kept referring to it as a low or 'reasonably' priced guitar. Yes, in the acoustic market, where you can easily drop a few grand for a really nice guitar, a grand it's much, but in the Real World<tm>, a grand is a grand. That's a lot of vet visits. Since I couldn't find any deal used, I checked new and called Sweetwater. These guys have great reviews from everybody who deals with them. The fine gentleman who took care of me took a long time going over the guitars and doing research. What we found was that the thing I didn't like about the 114 (cheap-sounding top) was on the 214, as well as a few others. Uh-oh. I'd have to spend at very least 2 grand, probably more.  Damn. This won't arrive for my gig, a few days away. Nor will 2 grand. 

Grumble grumble.....

I really like Taylors and will most likely wind up with one. I just have to find the right one. Oh yeah, and the right pile of money to pay for it.

Dammit - that blue top was breathtaking. It's a shame the tone wasn't what I wanted.


What have we learned?

• Not to be left handed if you want to play something first
• If you buy a crappy acoustic, remember - it's a crappy acoustic and will always sound that way. It could be fine for wanking on around the house or stage, if you're not picky at all.
• If you want a serious guitar that will stick with you for a long time, get something nice. You won't regret it.
• If you want to throw several piles of money at it, get a Gibson or Martin.
• If you want a good guitar that feels like an electric, get a Taylor.
• Do the research. Go to YouTube. Check reviews. Check prices at Ebay, Reverb, and wherever else you shop. Even Amazon sells guitars.
• Don't gig with a very expensive guitar, unless you have a few more at home.
• If all you have and all you want is $300 guitars, ignore this post.

I gotta run: I just remembered my impulsive side is still locked in the heavily-fortified closet.

2015 Fall Philly Guitar Show

Yes, kids, it was time for the twice-yearly religious pilgrimage to the Fall Philly Guitar Show; so named because it's not really fall and it's not in Philly. I suppose the Oaks Guitar Show doesn't have the same ring, but what do I know about marketing (except that they only hire attractive people).

We were quite happy that the show moved back to the larger hall. This means we weren't too close to the Furries, which was a real gift. We were, however, next to the reptile show. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing but I'll leave it up to you. In a backhanded and sneaky way, the Expo Center generates revenue for the county. They have precious few handicapped spots but the Mounties prowl the parking lots for any violation they can invent spot. Handicapped placard the wrong color? That's a ticket. Parked outside the lines? That's a ticket. No insurance? That's a tazing. Considering that most people come from Philthydelpia, there are over 50% uninsured. That's a lot of tazing. The police carry howitzers in their trunks, just in case.

As is the norm, right inside the door are the Greyhound rescue people, with some of their dogs. You'd think a racing dog would be running all over the show, knocking $125,000 guitars to the floor, but no. Most were perched or sacked out on their huge beds. I went up to one particularly immoble fella and noted to my wife that the dog was just like me. She agreed and put a few bucks in their bucket. The story here is that the racetrack owners (in Florida) use these dogs until they're done, then dump them to shelters or rescues, who try to find them good homes.

Business seemed brisk and there were some interesting things to see. The left-handed count was a little meager but it's always fun to see what's there.

The first intersting booth (table) I saw was Taylor. They were nice enough to bring a few lefties. The saleslady told me they make all their guitars in lefty. This is the kind of company we need to support (never mind that the guitars are really nice and feel and sound wonderful).  Martin was also there, with a complete and total lack of anything left-handed, although they do make them.  That was mostly it for the large manufacturers. Most everything else was small vintage dealers from all over the place. And Asian folks, who are smart enough to purchase a lot of guitars then sell them back to us at outrageous premiums. Be fair - they have a vintage market too.

Taylor 210 - $699: good price, good guitar

Taylor K16ce - $4132: not crazy about the color but it played like butter, with a slight V-neck, slightly expensive

Taylor 814ce - $3499: really sweet, a bit out of my current range

Unfortunately, the show is not a good place to try out acoustic guitars. While you can get a feel for the feel of the guitar, you pretty much have to hire someone to stand a few feet in front and tell you how it sounds. Fortunately I had my wife and she has a pretty good ear. One of the few joys of being left-handed is the attention you draw while trying out a guitar. I call it the Spaceship Effect: Hey Martha - he's a-playin that there gittar the wrong way round! Lookit! I could walk on water and not get the same reaction (trust me, I've tried it).



You were likely to find all sorts of vintage guitars, amps and accessories, as well as the odd cheap new guitar and one really good guy who had parts out the wazoo, down to screws. There were some ancient Marshall amps, including a 20w head. You don't want to know the prices. There was even a `74 full stack (I have a `74 half stack - great amp). There weren't enough Fender tweed amps but more Stratocasters than you can shake a stick at (for those with a burning desire to shake sticks at things). You could purchase anything from a $300 Mexican to a six-figure `54 Strat. There were ancient Esquires and Teles that you could ogle and perhaps even play (with your first-born as collateral).

Need pedals? There was no shortage of them, from cheapie distortions to new micro-pedals, to the obscenely-priced Strymon units ($250-450). Mitch Colby was there with a very sweet-sounding amp of his. Warrior had a huge booth (of unhelpful, snotty, hair dyed black employees who sneer at lefties). One guy had a bunch of Nash Strat and Tele-style guitars. Nash builds them like vintage guitars. I really like them, in spite of never having held a lefty.

At one booth, we spent some time discussing ugly finishes. Never having heard of Gibson's moonburst, the very attractive lady yanked out her tablet to look it up. I figured she completely regretted having appeared at a sausage-fest but she admitted that she found some eye-candy and that she actually had a hand in building the guitars. She did really good work.

1991 Strat - $850

Carcass bass! $125

great color - American Strat - $950 - NJ Bass and Guitar

Tele - $399 + Strat - $449 - NJ Bass and Guitar

Axis - $1399, Epi LP - $499, Schecter J-Bass - $399 - NJ Bass and Guitar

Partsmaster - $599

1968 J Bass - $7595: if this were a Strat, the price would be out of this world

buncha Taylors - thanks for bringing them!

1971 Strat - It's sad when the most expensive lefty is only $11,000

I think the most interesting or bizarre sight was this nice gentleman with his seven-string Warwick bass. I believe his name was Chris. He played really well and offered to let me have a go at it. The neck on this beauty is wide enough to sit ten people for dinner. I struggled in vain for something that sounded like an E but failed miserably. Chris was kind enough to point out that the reason I was failing so miserably was that there were NO open Es. There were a bunch of F#s and Bs. Not being that good, I handed the beautiful instrument back to him. It was very easy to handle and light. I dared not ask the cost.

All in all, it was fun. Maybe next time I'll know how to use my phone's camera and maybe even take some shots of other interesting things.  See you next summer for the spring show.

Another Exercise in Futility - Guitar Center

I had to order a small p.a. system for work, so I went with Guitar Center.  Ever since, they have been sending me email.  Lately I hear from them more than my own family.  I am desperately seeking a way to order my dream Custom Shop lefty Strat through them and have the company pay for it.  From what I hear, it won't be the first time.

But I digress.
Always.

I am obviously a person who does not learn through repetition.  The great majority of my trips to Guitar Center end up in disappointment, yet I keep going back; like a battered spouse, hoping the outcome will be different.

Some of my online buddies have been making noise about the Fender Mustang series amps.  The real troublemaker in the group discovered that he could hook the amp to his computer and edit the presets deeply.  Like dominoes, others in the group went off to purchase these amps.  And they're having a lot of fun with them.

These particular amps have two strikes against them (at least in my game):  they have no tubes and the software does not run on linux.  That aside, the smallest (Mustang I) is tiny and goes for a hundred bucks.  Not a ton of money for a decent-sounding amp for the living room.  Further research showed that there is rudimentary functional software for linux and that it got good reviews.

So I figured what the hell - GC is always sending me email.. why not pay them a visit.

I located the amp in question but had to hunt for a lefty Strat with which to try it out.  The store had exactly three lefty guitars.  This is my personal hell, akin to my very own Monty Python cheese shop sketch.  There sure are a lot of guitars on the wall....

Got stuck with a new Standard Strat.  It sure looked nice but playing was another story.  Maybe I'm spoiled but I haven't played a new Fender neck I liked in more years than I care to remember.  It was like holding some other instrument that wasn't a guitar.  They put this neck on everything.  Don't even get me started on how Fender wires the pots backwards on new guitars.  Counterclockwise should be down, not up, guys.

The Mustang was definitely a cute little toy.  I didn't have a ton of time but it definitely sounded like it was at least worth the price.  Naturally as I was trying to tune the guitar, others were trying to play louder.  I have yet to pick up a guitar (in a store or at a gig) where another guitarist didn't step all over me.  I am not competetive (volume is inversely proportional to talent) and don't play loudly so I don't get on others' nerves either.

I tracked down the nice saleslady, who was kind enough to leave me alone as I tried out the amp.  I'm not used to being waited on by women in guitar stores, for better or worse.  She was rather attractive, except for the army boots, but none of this matters unless she knows what she's talking about.  I told her I'd take the amp.

She told me there weren't any.

Huh?

Small wonder I had such a difficult time finding one: there weren't any.  Only the demo, which didn't have the accompanying books, software, and ephemera.

========================

Understand: I am not really upset - just confused and amused.
It seems that I leave Guitar Center disappointed most of the time.

========================

The Guitar Shop - starring John Cleese:


Do you have any lefties?

Not really.

Do you have this $100 practice amp?

Ummmm..... let me check.....  No.

This is a guitar store, right?

Yes - finest in the land.

By what measure?

It's very clean.

Yes, it's certainly free of guitars and amps.....

We could order you one.

There sure are a lot of guitars here.

Yes sir - thousands.

And barely a lefty.

You could try playing in a mirror.

Left Handed = Left Out When Guitar Shopping

I hadn't been to Guitar Center in months.  I don't get out much and I can only stand so much disappointment, no matter how much I crave it.  So yesterday I stopped in on my way by.

Most of the Guitar Centers I've been to have a section called Lefty Land, with all the lefty guitars and basses hanging in that area.  Yesterday I noticed Lefty Land had been moved.

Looking around, I spotted three lefty electrics on a wall.  One of the Helpful Guitar Center Salespeople asked if he could help and I asked where all the lefties went.  He pointed to the three guitars on the wall.

I was amazed.  I explained that I didn't think it was possible to have fewer lefties than the last time I was there, but Guitar Center went right ahead and let loose the shock and awe.

He giggled.

Whenever I ask for something lefty at a music store, after the person gets done telling me no, he always inserts `something helpful'.  It's usually something along the lines of `we could order that for you'.  This time it was `you should talk to our repair guy, who has turned a lot of guitars around.'

If I wanted a backwards guitar, I'd have asked for one in the first place, doofus.  If I wanted to order something sight-unseen (and unplayed), I'd have asked for that too.

And yes, I understand economics.  I know that guitar companies can't viably afford to make everything in the line lefty and I know why there's an upcharge (except for Martin).  I also know why stores can't stock a ton of lefties.  But if salespeople keep telling me customers are looking for lefties, why aren't they stocked?  Does Mr. Guitar Center get an electric shock every time he orders a lefty?  Is there some sort of pain involved with servicing the left-handed population?

It reminds me of the Monty Python Cheese Shop sketch:

Do you have lefty Strats?
No.
Do you have lefty Teles?
No.
Do you have lefty Gibsons?
No.
This must be the finest guitar store in the world.
Why?
Because it's certainly uncontaminated by lefty guitars.



Funny, though.... there are thousands of guitars in the store....



=============================

That having been said, I saw an incredibly cool Fender color called Chromium Blue or something to that effect.

I went looking for the Electro Harmonix pedals I keep seeing online.  Zero.  Zip.

And the acoustic section had a pair of cheap lefties.