He's the pince of freakin' darkness, fer chrissake.... the man practically helped invent heavy metal. He launched the careers of many an axeslinger, such as Randy Rhodes and Zakk Wylde.
Why, you ask, is Ozzy a poofter?
Because the esteemed Mr. Osbourne just put down ten thousand dollars for a Yorkshire Terrier.
Yorkshire Terriers, or Yorkies, as they're called, are not dogs suitable for your princes of darkness. Not even your run of the mill prince of dusk would be seen alive with one of these dogs. And when I say dogs, I mean cleverly disguised rodents.
Now let's cut to the chase: Yorkies are the exclusive territory of homosexual males, not legendary heterosexual rock stars (regardless of what their wives say).
Does Ozzy wear sweaters?
No.
Does Ozzy sell women's shoes?
No.
Should Ozzy own a Yorkie?
No.
There. It's really that simple.
Mandatory disclaimer for the humor-impaired:
I don't care what anyone's sexuality is. Roles is roles and rules is rules. ---------------------------------------
P.S. Thank you very much, readers. Your stopping by and commenting is very uplifting.
