It's Raining Twinkies. Or Minions

Israel hacked into antivirus provider Kaspersky, where they discovered the FSB (Russian spy agency) has been, along with NSA spy tools and viruses. Kaspersky said they don't help any governments nor will they. Kaspersky detected a breach and reported on it. Israel warned the US in 2015. Quick as you can say 'chrysanthemum,' two years later, the US government banned Kaspersky from its networks. At this point, no one has proven Kaspersky to be involved in any of this directly. Regardless, they've been smeared and implicated and their business is going to take a hit.  It's like James Bond on acid.

• October 11 is National Coming Out Day. I'd like to make an announcement. It's been very difficult on me for many years, but it's time to reveal myself to my readers for what I am. From this day forward, I will be known as heterosexual.

The Department of Treasury denies domestic spying.

The Office of Intelligence and Analysis (OIA) is under Treasury and examines foreign intelligence. However, there is evidence (twelve anonymous sources) that, like their friends in the NSA and CIA, it is spying domestically too.

The Department of Treasury denies domestic spying.

Banks and financial organizations are required to turn over information daily and the OIA has had its nose there.

The Department of Treasury denies domestic spying.

Leaks made it to the government and Buzzfeed. Congressional inquiries went unanswered.

The Department of Treasury denies domestic spying.

These departments and this government are completely out of hand. If the opportunity for expansion exists, they'll take it. If the opportunity for spying exists, they'll take it. Any attempted oversight is ignored, stymied, and laughed at. There is no accountability.  And we're paying for the privilege of being spied upon.

• A New York man threatened a Las Vegas style shooting at a Denver company. He stated that he would get on a plane and fly there if they didn't pay him $100. I would have demanded at least enough to cover the plane ticket.

Google admits its new smart speaker was eavesdropping on customers, after a reviewer caught it uploading everything it heard to Google. Google says they have fixed the 'bug', by which they mean they've made it much harder to detect. People are paying for a device that will let Google (or Amazon) spy on you. I am shocked. SHOCKED, that Google eavesdrops.

• The Boy Scouts have announced they will admit girls into the Cub Scouts and establish a program for older girls. This is a big step forward. It's quite original.. you could almost call it something like... girl scouts. That would be a good name.

Faceyspaces went down for a bit the other day. Production in all sectors of America went up and brain cell loss went down 80%.

• I'm home, on a late business call. A long time ago, I learned to mute my microphone at all times, unless I'm speaking. I learned this because it keeps me from imitating my boss' accent or injecting 'witty' comments about the current topic.
• BANG. BANG BANG.
• BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
• BANG BANG.
• BANG BANG BANG BANG.
• I noticed some noise.
• BANG BANG BANG BANG
• Good thing my mic is muted.
• BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
• In any other house, this would be amusing or distracting. In my house, it's like a live-action cartoon.*
• Thump thump thump... HEY LEFTY...LEFTY...
• CAN YOU OPEN THE BATHROOM DOOR? I CAN'T GET IN.
• I quietly point to my phone, as if to say WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE $*#& ALONE - I'M ON AN IMPORTANT BUSINESS CALL. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG does not help my concentration and the boss likes when I listen to him.
• Thump thump thump.
• BANG BANG BANG
• BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG. Because if it doesn't work, keep trying the same solution. BANG BANG BANG BANG.
• Call ends, I take a look. Somebody locked the bathroom door. Gnomes, probably. Since this is a very secure lock, I can probably dislodge it with my Secret Lockpicking Kit.
• Most of my early life was spent looking for phillips screwdrivers. Since my religion forbids putting anything away after I use it, I could never find a phillips driver. Mind you, I had standard screwdrivers all over the place. Now that I'm grown (allegedly), I can only find phillips screwdrivers. Phillips drivers are the one driver that will not go in my Secret Lockpicking Kit.
• Since people keep giving me those really cool multitool knife jobbies, I found my most Swiss version, with the LED flashlight built in. I had to keep adjusting it because the LED would come on by itself. Gnomes, probably.
• After 15 minutes I managed to make the standard screwdriver come out to play and fired up the LED so I could see. POOF - the last forever, low power LED didn't work - the battery was kaput.
• One blind screwdriver insertion and twist later, the door was open and I was muttering to myself much more quietly and not even cursing more than normal. Good thing this lock is very secure.
• This would look like magic to the person requesting access to the bathroom, but she had disappeared during the uninterrupted portion of my work phone call. Gnomes, probably.

* My house is frequently cartoonish. Stuff happens that you often see in cartoons. While 'helping' me cook or do dishes, Marshall sits or lays on the kitchen floor. If I fill his bowl with food, he leaps up to follow me. Unfortunately the floor is some type of lineoleum and he can't get traction on it, causing him to keep trying over and over again, slipping each time. I keep waiting for the banging on pots sound effect that goes with this in cartoons.

The other day I managed to produce absolutely the most perfect, unavailable, cannot reproduce sight gag that ever existed. While taking out the trash, my view down was obstructed. I stepped on a push broom and the handle jumped right up and hit me in the face. You cannot make this happen even if you set it up perfectly, or you are one of the Three (dead) Stooges. Since my nose was not broken, all I could do was laugh (and start mentally typing it up for ThermionicEmissions). Dear readers, I live my life for you.

• "Fatphobia is violence", some fat lady opined online, complete with pictures of her being fat in lingerie. Words kill. In this case, pictures too.

This month's Microsoft patch includes a fix for a tiny issue. You can encrypt messages in Outlook. And if you do, they will encrypt, and the recipient will unencrypt them. The tiny issue is that, with the encrypted message is a plain text copy of the email. To their credit, Microsoft jumped right on this issue, which was discovered in May.

• This Harvey Weinstein affair is tragic and will continue to be in the news for a while. Aside from the heinous nature of his abuses is the heinous covering up by Harvey's famous people and news outlets. Everybody knew what he was up to and nobody spoke up til recently. Now everybody's piling on, which is a step in the right direction. Except Lindsey Lohan, who is staunchly defending him. After five days, even Hillary Clinton spoke up.

An Australian man was hurt by a flying dildo, launched from the naughty bits of an exotic dancer. This is the kind of news story we need. It has it all: injury, physics, and an exotic dancer. Think of her muscular control!

In Amateur Radio, the Teacher is Called An Elmer

'Hackable' Apple watches have been banned from British government cabinet meetings out of caution against attacks.  You know me - I'd just ban them because they're Apple. But seriously folks, this is a pretty good move because most of what we carry is hackable. Just wait til they start hacking your e-belt. Your pants will fall right down.

• a German nuclear plant got cyber-attacked a little while back, it was just confirmed. Let me first say I TOLD YOU SO. With that out of the way, it's mot like poor cyber security at nuclear and utility plants is a surprise. They are sitting ducks. It's probable that there are others, yet unreported. Ancient programs with little to no security are a recipe for disaster. When the next one hits, it's going to come as another 'surprise'. Yes. there has to be people working on this, but still... this is a nuke plant. Think about it.

Largely unreported in the Wikileaks fiasco are the emails from John Podesta, the press secretary 'UFO Disclosure' guy. He was having conversations with Edgar Mitchell, the sixth man on the Moon, on the extraterrestrails that are here now. Apparently the guitar player from Blink 182, Tom DeLonge, quit the band to further his interest in disclosure. He was also a correspondant. I smell something but don't know what it is yet. I don't think he's high enough in the power structure to be cleared for this type of information (unless he knows tiny pieces of it, independent of the compartmented group that holds the real info). Never mind Hillary and the DNC, this is BIG.

• Reminder to cover your laptop's camera with tape or something. Also its mic. A popular website ran an article on which tape is best. Nothing like parody.

Free, encrypted text app Signal, which I have mentioned here and run enthusiastically, now has a disappearing message function. Download it from your app store. Costs nothing, gives great security, and your info is not collected. Replaces your default text program with no issues.

• In case you missed the announcement, Faceyspaces, Twitter and Instagram shared data with a social media surveillance startup. Your data. The startup then sold your data to law enforcement. The ACLU discovered this via a Freedom of Information request. Your data. UPDATE: Faceyspaces, Twitter and Instagram have cut off the flow of information out of concern for your privacy because they got caught.

Reminder: watch out for the clowns. WTF is going on with clowns? There was an initial rumor that it was viral marketing for a movie. I'm thinking no, as it has crossed borders and featured clowns with chainsaws and machetes. Clowns are the new Zombies, apparently. Localities have requested that no one dress as a clown for Halloween. It will be pretty funny/sad when someone dresses as a clown for Halloween anyway. Ronald McDonald has been ordered to take a break (no, really). Not because of the food, mind you - just the clown bit.

• So Malia Obama has been photographed shaking her ass and smoking a joint. A joint? She's a real chip off the old block. No matter how much I don't like her father, I believe his children are off-limits (unless they commit a serious crime and a joint ain't it). It does say interesting stuff about his continuation of the War on Drugs. Having seen the pictures, Malia is growing into a very attractive woman.

A British fella got one of those wifi teakettles and spent ten hours trying to get some tea out of it. If he's having this much trouble with it now, wait til it gets hacked.

• Earlier this week was National Coming Out Day. I'd like to take this opportunity to come out to you, faithful readers, and declare that I'm.... heterosexual. I know it's not popular these days, but I have to be who I am. Oh yeah, I'm also a chocoholic. If anyone would like to use this forum to declare whatever it is that you are, please go ahead.

There is now an internet for dogs. I am not kidding. While I don't have the URL yet, rest assured it exists. It probably has something to do with dispending treats. I'll show Marshall but knowing him, he already discovered it and has emptied the treat dispenser.

• People in England can now be prosecuted for offensive social media posts. Orwell is spinning.

Bob Dylan just won the Nobel Prize for Literature. It only took 90 years, or however old he is. Runners-up include Robert Plant, Kanye West, Nickleback, and the guys who write all those reality shows.

• The Xinhua network just deleted the tweet announcing the death of Thailand's king. Was his death a publicity stunt? A practical joke? Did someone have trouble distinguishing alive from dead?

Samsung has offered Note 7 owners $100 to buy another Samsung. Well, $100 and a fire extinguisher. I wonder how many people are going to take advantage of this spectacular deal. Personally I'd hold out for $500 and a personal fireman. Better yet, a firewoman.

• In case you're leaving your cyber-security to the security folks at work (and home), know that human error is the major cause of data breaches.

October is National Cyber Security Awareness Month. Let's celebrate vigoriously, by using default passwords or 'password1'. Drink before you surf. Read these stupid blog posts. Plug your house into the internet. Speaking of which, Akamai, a major content provider, reveals that hackers are abusing a known weakness to commandeer millions of connected devices and use them to mount internet attacks on third parties. This means that your house monitor can potentially be used to attack the White House. When those nice folks at the FBI come knocking, offer them coffee. Good coffee - not that Donut Shop stuff.

• We may not be ready for this but in an official joint statement from the Department of Homeland Security and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence on Election Security, recent political breaches have been attributed to the Kremlin (a small shack on a near-deserted island in the Mediterranen Sea). 
• When reached for comment, the Kremlin asked if who did it was that important. The main point is the manipulation of public opinion.
• On the surface, this is very important and horrific. Another level down we have to ask Who Benefits. Well, the Office of the Director of National Intelligence on Election Security is a brand new bloated government entity, which should probably be looking inward. The DNC has been blaming the Russians since the hack, then tying it to Trump, who they claim is in cahoots with Putin. Yeah, they're good fishin' and huntin' buddies, so this reinforces the narrative. But the manipulation of public opinion.... think about it and decide for yourself.

Alleged pro-Trump hackerd have defaced the Clinton Wikipedia page, stating that if you vote for her, it's a vote for nuclear annhilation. And pornogrpahic images were supplied. Sadly, this has already been cleaned up - we love our porn - defacement.

This shit is deep. Time for some relief....