That Fan is Haunted

 Your love is like  one of those diseases soldiers came back from war with

Ok, so I noticed I hear things through fans.

I'm sitting in my office and hearing the tv. I ask Wife to turn it down.

The tv is off.

Uh-oh.

If I turn off the fan, I don't hear anything.

Perhaps I should try to contact the dead.

Happy Independence Day

or, as the Brits say, Traitorous Colonists

The founding fathers were brilliant and set up a living framework for a great country.

And certain groups are hacking away at it like mad 

If we don't pay attention, it will be gone. 

In my hood, July 4th is yet another occasion to buy 'illegal' fireworks and blow them up for the next few days. Wawa, our convenience store chain, has a deal on hoagies. Their ads are paid for by Giant, our supermarket chain. I have no idea.

And what could possibly be a better companion for fireworks and hoagies than beer? Unfortunately, in PA, you are not permitted to buy fireworks, and liquor is run by the state, so you have to go to special stores during their hours (not on Sundays). That's some gang that took over booze. Even the mob is jealous of this racket.

Tomorrow, for entertainment, we'll watch the news to find out which intelligent, well-read fireworks expert lost a few digits when he forgot to throw them after lighting them.

Those of you outside PA don't understand... we can't go into a supermarket or any old store and buy booze. The first time I left PA, I saw booze in a supermarket and I stood there and stared. I don't really drink, but I'd never seen it in a supermarket. PA is a hellhole for so many reasons....

Work is fun.

I hate Outlook. Apparently my emails have the Ignore flag. When I send them, to individuals or groups, I never get a reply. Some of my emails are pretty important, but nothing. Like my previous employer, there is apparently no specific requirement to answer emails. Unless, of course, you're in my group. As we get bigger and more impotent, we have to answer everything... even the phone. It's a shame I never had the time to learn their bad habits....

Today I identify as  one of four Teslas that didn't self-immolate

It's been a while since I've had one of my Hell Days.

Today is one.

Dear Mr. China: if you want me to continue purchasing from you, I am going to have to insist on you including instructions, or at least a picture, in everything that I have to assemble. I have never seen a 5' pole with a large whirlygig on top, so I need some frame of reference. That was one hour of screaming time to assemble. There are still parts either left over or missing - I can't tell.

The cash machine was broken, so I'd have to take a check for something I was buying. Where is the check? Home.

Off to the store, the very tricky neighborhood decided, after a year of free parking, to put the meters back. Hey- I found a quarter (in the compartment with used cigarette filters - yum!). Once in the store, I look at the quarter in my hand, that I didn't put in the machine.

I dropped off the check and their dog was so happy to see me, he peed a bit, then stuck his nose in my crotch for a bit. It was a bit of heaven.

I was going to pick up dinner, but Mrs lefty was too far away. Her passenger (the one who wasn't the dog) kept texting me estimates of when they were dropping her off. Then she started asking me questions about times. English is her native language, except when texting. I was confused, but took comfort in the fact that I wasn't as confused as she was. She texted me that they were going to call. I love that. The call didn't go through, because wireless technology is so new, they haven't perfected it yet. I called back and the dog had had enough of her too because all I heard was BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK. This was doing a lead-footed dance on my very shaky tiny last nerve.

My shorts were overloaded on the right side, and were determined to flash parts of me better kept unflashed (all of me) in the convenience store, up my steps and in front of the fridge. After I emptied my pockets, the shorts felt nostalgic and tried to fall down again. Every other day of the year, my stomach is 100% successful at holding my pants up.

The convenience store wanted to know if I wanted my gallon of milk in a bag. No, I'll just walk home, juggling it with the sodas. They save money by using cheap bags, so they have to double them, or I'll be wearing the milk.

It was naturally raining, so everybody was driving very quickly through the residential neighborhoods. The car has a beeper to remind me the lights are on. Unfortunately it fails completely if you take the keys out too quickly, which I did. It was amazing that I got a parking spot (in my own driveway).

So after the large explosion, when the police finally apprehend me, I'll just tell them about my day and no problemo.

No matter what you do this week, remember:

There is no B+ directly associated with the quadrature grid of a dual role 6BN6.

• Sitting at my desk, on my 3rd cup of coffee, I finally realize something: I'm just not prepared for morning. I never will be.

NASA scientists are busy trying to figure out what's wrong with the Hubble Telescope's computer.

I'll tell you  - it's running Windows.

Hey, are you worried if your buddy is becoming an extremist?

Snitch on him to Faceyspaces.

didn't they do this in Germany?

Psychology 101: We'll start in a moment, but will the person who switched the Rorshach cards with the Mandarin character cards please see me after class.

• Air Force Video Explains What a Penis Is
• only shown to men, who all flunk the test and can't fly

Elon Musk and his Incredible Exploding Cars haven't been in the news lately, but they worked overtime to fix that: a $130k Model S caught fire after being delivered, almost trapping the driver inside. People have a lot of awe for these cars, but I just don't have the kind of intestinal fortitude to buy a homicidal car. Especially after paying $130k for it.

Gee-bus - I have enough trouble with other drivers trying to kill me.

• Microsoft's Blue Screen of Death (BSOD) is being changed to a Black Screen of Death (BSOD) in Windows 11. Isn't it clever they didn't have to change the abbreviation? So you'll be seeing a lot of black when you downgrade to Win 11. IF your processor is on the approved list.

I just got done making burgers. I finally realized there's a use for social distancing. Social distancing is the six feet my burger should be cooked from her burger, with the XXX provolone. I don't want my burger to even know hers has cheese on it. After I put it on her burger, I have to take off the hazmat suit and take a shower.

Voluntary Captivity

If you're bored and happen to have an Alexa, Siri, or Google Assistant hanging around, here are 1,000 phrases that 'false trigger' them...


The US has purchased the world stock of Flying AIDS drug Remdesivir.
Little is known about the drug, which may or may not treat the Flying AIDS, on several days of the week, but at least we own it all now, nyah nyah.


According to the Detroit police chief, facial recognition software misidentified 96% of the time, which is "good enough for us."


Happy 4th to everyone!
People died so you would have social media. Thank them.




Don't forget about your unconscious bias.
You know... the bias you have against certain groups, of which you're not aware.

A recent study revealed that 95% of people had an unconscious bias against people pointing guns at them. The Union to Destroy Unconscious Bias said this was unconscionable and would work diligently to remove this stigma on people who just happen to be carrying weapons. The Union further said this is a particularly nasty bias if the weapon-holder is black. They suggest that if you encounter a black person pointing a gun at you, you should give him everything you have, even taking him to your house and giving him everything you have there too, to atone for your unconscious bias, white guilt, and the lack of reparations. Perhaps if you admit your bias and give up all your worldly possessions, the person with the gun won't shoot you. You must understand their struggle.

The Anti Defamation League is revving its engines, figuring out how to get in on the Guilt Thing.  They have seen what black people are able to accomplish and believe they can rise to the occasion, after the black people are done, and take advantage of Guilt. What the ADL is not counting on is Guilt Fatigue. This is when the crackers give and give and give, so they have nothing else. They're not interested in hearing more guilt: the black people have worn them out.


I need all my readers to get on this: visitors to national parks are still over 70% white. We cannot let this go unanswered.



I was bored, so I thought I'd go out surfing to find some new stuff.
I finally found the solution to all net boredom: find the lists of sites to be blocked for children and visit the sites it recommends. There are porn new sites I never heard of!



Hillary Clinton mourns the upcoming suicide of Ghislane Maxwell, associate of Jeffrey Epstein.




GUITAR CONTENT

So, that Tech 21 Fly Rig from ebay..... it had a little trouble, in the form of motorboating or oscillating. Whenever I turned the gain up, the thing started making noises. At one point, it was so bad, the box seemed to have a built in tremolo. It was a pretty cool box, when it wasn't motorboating. It had 2 preamp sections, Tech 21 and Plexi. Tech 21 sounded like any old tube amp, but with a master volume. Plexi sounded a little like a Marshall, plus it had a boost on a separate switch. It had delay and reverb, but the reverb was only available with the Tech 21 setting, which I found odd.

Since the rest of the Fly Rigs are pretty expensive, I'm looking around for something else. Doug Aldrich has a signature distortion pedal out for about $100, that seems to do everything from light boost to distortion. I'm leaning this way. There are over 14 billion different overdrive/distortion pedals. If you don't believe me, check ebay. Some are just rebranded, like Mooer and all the rest. Just in case you're asking, a $90 Mooer is not going to sound just like a $400 whatever it's attempting to be, but it can get close. Your best bet is to head to YouTube to listen for a demo. That Pedal Show is really good. Their Dumble shootout was very interesting.



ROME — Pope Francis told members of the Catholic Press Association Tuesday that the media should build bridges, defend life, and help people, especially the young, “to distinguish good from evil.”  Because we're very busy molesting little boys.