Captivity - Day 88 You Can't Hang Yourself with the Curtains

Mrs lefty took advantage of the sun and good temperature and went shopping.
Fortunately the shoe stores aren't open yet.
Lowes looks like the aftermath of forecast snow. Shelves were almost picked clean of garden tools and the only bird feed they had was in 40lb bags, all of which were ripped open. You can't buy a shovel.

Speaking of helium, you can't find it. You can find balloons. The one place that had helium, had no balloons. And now the place with the balloons doesn't have balloons. It's the Helium Conspiracy, you know.  A theory hasn't been formed yet. Maybe the Illuminati are hoarding helium. They want to build an H bomb.

On the way out of Lowes, she saw a BMW with an elderly gentleman in the passenger seat. The car wasn't running, the windows weren't rolled down, and the temp had risen significantly. She went over and gestured 'can I open the door?' The poor old guy was uncomfortably hot. She asked if he'd like the windows down or the air conditioning on. The guy said he leaves it alone because his son's car is new and he doesn't know how to operate it. Mrs lefty would have none of this, especially as the ding dong who owns it left the keys in the ignition. She turned on the a/c, the gent was happy, and now he has a story he can tell.

We are told not to leave pets in the car with the windows up. Do we really have to warn people not to leave old persons in the car with the windows up? Wife's brother got a BMW. She asked him how long it will take til he drives like an asshole.


In other news, the Boeing 737 MAX continues to not be fixed.
Flying is aiming yourself at the ground and missing. The 737 fails to miss.
I think we've begun the age of the machines. AI is slowly getting rid of us. The 737 plummets, Teslas crash into things, and the Internet of insecure stuff is wide open for the hacking. Skynet has gone online.


BEST headline:  Man who shot himself in penis gets hard sentence


If you go to a protest or mass gathering, turn location OFF on your phone.  The BLM protests are being monitored, collecting your info for political parties or Flying AIDS monitoring. Or turn off your phone. There are no laws around this.


The FDA has canceled emergency use of Hydroxychloroquine, as unlikely to produce an antiviral effect. Again - they have NO. IDEA. What they're talking about.


Are we aghast about Seattle, where BLM/Antifa took over a few blocks and issued DEMANDS before they would leave? If their parents were there, they'd say, "If you're going to behave like an animal, you belong in a zoo."

We have a funny way of dealing with illegal activity.

We can all agree that the Floyd killing was completely unjustified and morally wrong. It appears the response to the rioting wasn't all that great. So far, nobody has said what IS a good response. Letting people illegally occupy multi-block neighborhoods seems less than optimal. I suspect this won't end well. At this point, the police are handicapped from above, and the illegal occupants are quite nasty and prepared for a skirmish.

In Philly, we deal with things differently: we bomb the house (and most of the block)


Walmart wants to get rid of all cashiers, instead using self-service lanes. Good old Walton family... squeezing every penny out of their employees and customers. Of course it's their right, as a business, but it's ugly. They can put the savings into more surveillance. You're already on tape at the checkout... maybe some drones to follow you around.  Time to not show up at Walmart. This disease is starting to affect other stores too.


SHOCKING:  More than 7 in 10 people won't use contact-tracing apps. We're starting to slowly understand privacy!

Captivity - Day 78 Not more Furries!

Very proud of myself today. It's Saturday, at least according to my computer, and I've only taken one nap! It started right after I got up early (1pm) and ran til 5:30. This was a pretty successful nap, in that after I got up, I only wanted to go back a little. The sun is shining, the temperature is high, and there is always time for more napping.


The air conditioner was insufficient for the room and old, so we somehow wound up with an indoor unit. Wound Up is how we get most things here. I don't ask for much (and that's exactly what I get), but Mrs lefty has this bizarre way of making things appear. One day there's a box on the front step that nobody heard being delivered. Then the actual delivery (she bakes for the UPS guy). The most wondrous of these is the Appearance Box. I'll walk into a room and there will be a box by the door. Sometimes it's a little envelope, most times it's at least the size of a basketball. Recently, they've been the size of small refrigerators. This are the most alarming kind. Not only are they large; they're heavy, they're probably expensive, and they undoubtedly require me to do something with them. One of the largest was this floor air conditioner. I was happy that it wasn't the weight of a small refrigerator - it was the weight of two small refrigerators. One had to admit - it was shiny, black, and futuristic looking - what everyone wants in air conditioning.

The box sat by the door because it needed to be installed, which, as I said, required me to do something with it. I successfully refused to see it, making it a non-entity and releasing myself from having to do anything with it. One day the bodily threats became so loud and so frightening that I had to get moving. You know me - I don't like moving.

The first problem was getting it up the steps. Neither of us can blink, transport, wiggle our noses, or point the device up the steps. There were 2 hand holes, which I tried out to determine I would have to have 2 more hands to move the device. She appears with a hand truck. It had no motor, thus it wasn't going to work. I got the device on the hand truck, at which point we discovered the box had wheels (oh, joy), so it could slip while on the truck. Then we discovered our steps had lips, so pulling anything over them was much much harder.  Then there was Stuff on the steps. We eventually made it, the crippled lady and the newly-crippled guy. The only positive thing I can say was the dog was not 'helping'.

If I remember correctly, it's a Delonghi, or some other Ferrari-like inversion. The directions were interesting. You know about instructions, right? The worse being Ikea. These had numbers, line drawings of the parts, and brief english instructions. Take part 4 and put it in part 5. That was pretty simple, but you had no idea what it was supposed to look like or which side of part 5 you used. It went on like this for a while. And when I say 'went on like this for a while,' I mean it was an extended visit to Hell, like kissing Nancy Pelosi.  Every step could not be executed by normal humans, experienced installers, or employees of Delonghi.  It was the kind of assembly that makes one think deeply about their potentially incorrect decision to live.  It wasn't broken at all. It's just nothing connected to anything else. Ever screw a large piece of plastic onto a 6" hose that doesn't bend? Ends that don't match other ends. I have to give them credit - it was black and shiny.  After 30 minutes of trying to make one connection, Mrs lefty gave up and located her BRAND NEW EXCELLOTAPE, GUARANTEED TO FIX HOLES IN YOUR OIL TANKER. IN FACT, WE BUILT AN INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC MISSILE out of this and it launched without any leaks! I shook my head.

Before this, the window air conditioner had to come out. To our amusement (?), it didn't want to come out, like a tooth. I had my normal reaction: I WANT THIS THING DEAD - PLEASE VIDEO ME THROWING IT OUT THE WINDOW. She found what hung it up and I removed it. I sing much higher now. Since we did a lot of yelling, Penny got to show off her newest talent, barking like mad when one of us sounds mad. We had to lock her out of the room, which is the worst thing you can do to a cocker. All I had to do was replace the old unit with a small panel, to vent the new unit. It was about 4" tall, so none of this was an issue. Until, of course, we went to connect the hose to the bracket, at which point the bracket fell out of the window.  I am not a very smart person, but I know when I'm done, and I was done (before I started). There were literally 6 steps to get the little bastard going, and only the part about plugging in to the outlet went well. 30 minutes and a soaked shirt later, Mrs lefty had the thing together and cooling the room. I applauded and gave her all credit for her masterful work.  I didn't look, and will let this thing run by magic. I just hope the tape that was used instead of each step holds. Just thinking about it makes me want to nap......


Earlier this week, a woman was arrested for assaulting her husband with a hamburger. I'll spare you the meaty details, but I keep trying to get arrested for assaulting my wife with a sausage.   [I am very sorry for that and promise not to do it again (this week)]



The monsters protesters are out today. I'm a huge fan of the First Amendment, and completely support the protesters and their cause. However, stepping in front of cars is over the line. Then these little bastards step in the street, 3 at a time, til the police show, then back up, then another 3. I think police are handling this wrong. Instead of that, give motorists a soaker or hose, to point at protesters in the street (ONLY). That would clear the streets quickly. I would never suggest replacing the water with gasoline or hot peppers, that's for sure.



Mrs lefty's sister has a wonderful, large, slobbering Boxer, who loves everybody. He will leap on anyone and he's got 100lbs behind him. When she comes to visit, the dog sits quietly by the door. When she arrives, the dog very carefully says hello .... he's aware that she has some physical difficulties and is very gentle with  her. After the welcome, he comes back with the toy she gave him. Dogs are unbelievable.

Complaints from Pets and General Grumbling

Hello, I am General Grumbling.
[salute]

In no particular order, here are some things:

In addition to the visit from the county sheriff's office, we heard from the SPCA.  The dog and cat are apparently quite upset and have filed a complaint (why not, everyone else has):

• they are upset because their air conditioner is never set below seventy degrees and they can't operate the remote
• the cat is upset because the dog has his own pool
• there is not enough room on the couch for both to lay in the path of their fan

So you're probably saying to yourself, "It must be horrible in that house."

You're right.

In other news, I got a new corporate manual at work to sign.  We have policies on racism, false medical billing, drugs, and a section on bodily fluids but we don't have two words on acceptable computer use.

The Big Boss saw our last desktop policy and ordered it removed because he didn't like it.  No amount of meetings, pleadings or communications has produced results: we have no computer policy.

But at least we have a bodily fluids policy.

TODAY'S BEST HEADLINE:

Weiner Pulls Out