Video Adapters do not Adapt Video: Discuss

 Your love is like  Bill Gates set loose in a virus lab

The Cancel Crowd has decided Dr. Seuss is racist. Naturally, there are memes:

Since nobody is brave enough, allow me to list the racist books

• The Pocket Book of Boners (that are bigger than white ones)
• I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today (but let's go to KFC instead)
• The Cat in the Pimp Hat
• Horton Hears the Cops
• My Book About Victimization
• The Lorax be Dope n' Shit
• Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are (that you're not black)?
• I Am Not Going to Get Up Today (I'll just stay in bed and collect welfare)
• My Many Colored Days
• My Big Book of Beginner Books about Me (and my many children with different mothers)
• Dr Seuss's Book of Animals (live from the Black Lives Matter peaceful riot)

Next in the parade is DNA databases are too white.

The problem is that not enough black people are submitting their DNA. Something about being afraid to be identified.

Let's be fair - I wouldn't want to either. The ancestry companies are already in bed with the FBI.

Today I identify as   a variable

There are new color pictures of Mars. Naturally there are none of the actual Martians, who have stopped hiding. They're currently racing the original Rover against the Perseverance rover.

As if Horton wasn't enough, and it never is, Seattle bike helmet laws are racist.

Also declared racist: window tint, premium gas, carpet, speakers, and lamps. If we could get them to declare Windows racist, our job would be done.

Also: why are there bike helmet laws?

We all like ThermionicEmissions because we're intelligent, rugged individualists. Every now and then I have to admit going with the crowd, and nowhere is this more evident than bacon and anything having to do with bacon. I'd eat cardboard if it had bacon around it. *NOTE: this does not apply to matzoh, which has less flavor and fiber than cardboard. Also Pizza Hut pizza.

Of course there are many things I don't go along with and several that I just don't get. Zombies, for instance. How did Zombies become a 'thing'?

If any of you took sociology or read a sociology book, or have one in the house, you could become the Official ThermionicEmissions Sociologist. Then explaining this shit would be Your Problem.

• Some of my bits come via avoidance. Currently, I'm avoiding bringing in the trash bins. 
• Avoidant Personality Disorder is avoidance of feared stimuli. I'm guessing trash bins don't count as stimuli.

WARNING: Don't eat the cauliflower - it tastes like cauliflower. And looks like brains.

Are any of you dropping words? Are you picking them up?

I'll be thinking to myself that I need to include a Hendrix link in the blog.  I'll start typing and not remember Hendrix, for the life of me. Or any other word. The doctors tell me it's normal. I don't think it's... uhhhh.... you know... that word...

• It's ok if you can't remember where you put your car keys. It's a problem if you can't remember what they do.

My friend said, "To cats, all humans are heated furniture."

My dear dog seems to have taken that loving stance (or sits). We know she will only sit on the couch or bed, never the floor. Now she wants to sit on me. If there's an inch between the laptop and me, she squeezes in and attempts to monopolize all the space. Continuing the Abandonment Dance, she has taken to sleeping on bed pillows, sometimes ours. It's ok - she leaves us room most of the time. Last night she decided on the general area of my general center. She does not understand that my brain is kept there, so she has to be careful. There's something about physics and a 24lb dog coming down with one paw in certain places that, quite frankly, hurts. Fortunately she abandoned her perch before the bleeding got really bad.

Mrs. lefty, a very smart woman, discovered she needed to stop her wild affair with the Home Shopping Bankruptcy Networks. Or at very least, she need to appear to stop the wild affair. Rather than claim the daily spate of delivery boxes, she tells me in advance that there's a box coming, and it's "towels for Mom's birthday" or "a matching noose for our sister-in-law." She takes advantage of my attention span, which is approximately as short as a pregnant gnat. Plus she knows if she's talking, I'm generally ignoring. Thus, when said 'present' shows up, she tells me she told me and it's a present, it's not for her. I played along for the first few months, then I notices the 'presents' looked an awful lot like things she would buy for herself. All of the sudden, everybody was getting shoes as presents. I'm sometimes forgetful, but I'm not stupid (except Wednesdays - I hate them). 

I decided to retaliate. I started by bring the boxes in and 'hinting,' like "gee, that's too small for a guitar,"  and "nope, it doesn't come from the Southpaw Shop" (the main lefty-only guitar shop in the US, located in Houston, TX).  She'd say no, these are the boots for your mom's birthday. Mom always gets presents, but there's something about an older, fragile woman wearing hooker boots from Pretty Woman that seems just a little odd. I know she can't wear that size either, which, coincidentally, is Mrs. lefty's size.

Someone suggested getting all your guitars in one color, so she doesn't notice a new one. The only problem is that whatever I buy, it won't go unnoticed financially. She will also not believe that the $1,000 tube amp kit is for my mother's birthday, or that Mom has had 3 birthdays already this year, and it's only March. 

As the Flying AIDS mandates are starting to end, NY is testing a COVID Passport at stadiums. Never mind the horrid status issues - this is setting off red flags, people. If things are abating, why are more stringent requirements going into place? There is also an international travel app going into trials.

If you're heading to China or if you just like this sort of thing, anal swabs are now mandatory for foreigners entering China. (ask for Xi Peng)

It's 2 days past the day QAnon said Trump was going to rise, Jesus-like, back to power. As best I can tell, this failed to happen. Or maybe it happened so stealthily we just didn't notice it.

In related news, Capitol Police say they have uncovered intelligence of a "possible plot" by a militia group to breach the Capitol. I call BS. It has all the markings of an FBI manufactured event or something that just happened to happen after a real event. The House canceled its session. Yes, when liberty mattered, men came out with muskets, willing to lay down their lives in the cause of freedom. Ours ran out the back door.

Brave brave brave brave Sir Robin

When danger reared its ugly head

He bravely turned his tail and fled

Brave brave brave brave Sir Robin

Or maybe Trump just thinks he's back as president. He can say anything he wants and still not get anything done. It won't be far from his actual presidency. On the other hand, he won't bomb any countries, so there's that.

A SpaceX rocket nailed its touchdown, but failed in the overview because it blew up. The Teslas spontaneously combust. I'm beginning to think it's not safe to purchase a Musk product. One hopes standing near him is still safe... hopefully he won't burst into flames. It's getting weird around Tesla headquarters, where some employees won't open his emails or go to his virtual meetings, for fear of fire. In order to get his own secretary to talk to him, he has to throw $100s.

Ah, work is fun. Like sawing one's leg off without benefit of anesthesia. We have a ticketing system. Everybody has a ticketing system. When software is written, they try to make it user-friendly. For some reason, we bought the user-hostile software. It is the worst POS I have ever worked on and I don't have to work on it much. Occasionally I have to process a request, which seems only mildly horrific. The other day I had to put in a ticket, like a user. NO WONDER PEOPLE HATE THIS THING. I want to be helpful to the company and point out the ticking time bomb, because there are groups that get together to 'improve' things. In the 45 years we've used this software (ok, 2), apparently nobody noticed there's no way to figure out where to send your request. 

They managed to get the basic stuff covered. If the computer is on fire, or looks like it is about to be, you just select HARDWARE and the system will do the rest. If you need Photoshop for a personal project on work time, choosing SOFTWARE will route the request, and you'll get a rejection in a week or 6. If there are any slight variations, you're screwed, for which there is no selection. To make the game more challenging and more fun, the request will go to the Waiting Queue Tank, where highly sophisticated coworkers, with at least 2 weeks' employment, will go over it and make sure it's routed to the incorrect department. This takes place in blinding speed - approximately the time it takes to rebuild an engine (but engine rebuilders have a clue as to what they're doing). When the ticket gets assigned, correctly or incorrectly, it goes to a whole list of victims people in that department for processing, screaming at, or General Ignoring. After 6-12 months, the system will remind you there's an unprocessed ticket so everybody can go on ignoring it. That's the thing about my employer; there is no discrimination, no racism, no distinctions at all. Everybody has the power and the will to ignore a ticket. We all ignore the ticket evenly, across the board, no favoritism. Even if we know it's misdirected and shouldn't go to us, we can't find the correct department either, just like the person who originally filled out the ticket. Or didn't fill out the ticket.

For some reason, I am guilty of being Competent. Others have judged me Competent, then they told still others. This is a very bad thing, because if you're Competent, people will call on you as The Main Guy, who Gets Things Done. Because of this, I saw the doctor, and there's no way to get rid of this title medically. Long term coworkers tell me to just stop doing anything, and that will eventually remove Competence, but it can take years. Because of being Competent, I got made the Superintendent of Tickets for my department, so when the ticket is roundly and equally ignored by the entire department, it goes back to ME. I found this out today, to my abject horror. Out of all my duties, this one would be right up there with root canal. I don't mind doing anything. Except dealing with tickets. Tickets that are over 6 months old and nothing has been done except putting them on Ignore Status. I've done work that belongs to other departments gladly, before dealing with tickets. I am writing this bit solely to avoid dealing with tickets.

Perhaps because I have been found Competent and speak up in meetings, I got an unofficial promotion to Unofficial Team Lead. The retiring Unofficial Team Lead told me a while back that she got the unofficial position along with a secret pay raise. The pay raise was so secret, she couldn't see it. It was so secret, it didn't register in her bank account. So now I have that position. So I had a sit down with myself and tried to figure out the position, and was it really right for me. Perhaps I failed to learn that military lesson about not speaking up. For anything. Regardless, aside from an unofficial title, there seems to be no actual advantage. I don't get the key to the women's washroom, no access to the soda machine that actually works all the time, only the normal amount of days off, and HR will still go after me for any complaint. But more people know me and ask me to do stuff. All because I ask questions and do stuff reasonably quickly. In this group, the position should be official and come with a doubling of salary.

Does it come with Promotion Potential, you're asking yourself. Well, yes. When they need someone to do something in a different department, I'm obvious. Maybe even something to do with supervising people. They make the mistake of assuming anybody who's good at their technical job would be a good supervisor and leader. Now think about this... we geeks get into computers at a young age, mostly to make money and avoid people. We get really good at our jobs (and avoiding people), so we're promoted to something we can't do or aren't interested in doing. This is the Peter Principle: you're promoted to the level of your own incompetence.

I get all sorts of spam about expanding your network. Nope - that's a social thing. I want to expand my paycheck, not my network. When they do promote someone like this, there are unintended consequences. Telling the group to take the day off, having Drunk Fridays, setting up the No Phone Answering Initiative, and stopping all meetings will only wind up pissing people off up the chain, then I won't get put back where I was happy - they'll just fire me.

And that is why I hate this ticketing software.

The NFL's Washington team is dropping cheerleaders in favor of a coed dance team. Didn't see that one coming. I wonder if we'll see a waltz and maybe a charleston.

The future just fell off its chair, laughing.

Hold Your Breath Until I Arrive

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You Are What You Is

A sword-weilding attacker killed a teacher and a student at a Swedish school.  I think it's long past time that we sit down and draft some common-sense legislation to handle the proliferation and illegal use of swords.

• Only in Oklahoma? A drunken lady fell out of her pickup truck while driving. As if that were not enough, her three-year-old took the wheel and steered the truck across four lanes to safety, with his brother in the back.  Mom has been arrested for DUI and child endangerment, son cited for not using horn, brights and middle finger while driving.

There's apparently a Meat Thing happening now. Processed meat (ham, bacon) are about to be linked to cancer and red meat is on their tail. In related news, human DNA has been found in hot dogs, as well as meat DNA in vegetarian hot dogs.So get out there and eat your meat before it's carcinogenic. But maybe not.. it depends on reading the article and understanding that one percent does not mean cancer.

As if that weren't bad enough, now they're coming for our SUGAR!  Rest assured, they will not be able to pry the sugar from my cold, dead hands.

• Once again, Satanists come to the rescue. A Florida man has requested to give a satanic invocation at a County Commission meeting. The commission chairman has stated that this will not happen on his watch. Yes, only Christian invocations will be accepted in that commission. This flouts a Supreme Court ruling that they must make a reasonable effort to accommodate all community members, regardless of faith.  UPDATE: The county has denied the request. A civil rights group is representing the requester.
• The Supreme Court is wrong on this ruling. Yes, a (less than) humble blogger, with absolutely zero legal or Constitutional experience is stating that the highest legal authority in the land (no, not the president) is incorrect. The First Amendment protects speech and forbids establishment of religion. Establishment is when the State or a State facility pushes or leads a particular religion. This is why we don't have prayer in public schools: public schools are run by the State, therefore cannot establish (push or lead) religion. Private schools can do whatever they want - they are not an arm of the State. A county commission is purely governmental, therefore an opening prayer is clearly establishment. This is why the Court is wrong. Their solution, makiung an effort to accommodate all community members, is merely a band-aid over the issue.
• I have long stated that prayer in any state-run entity will cease immediately when a satanic prayer is requested. People would rather stop praying than recite a satanic prayer. Rest assured, this situation is not over, like the public schools in the south where they still read the bible in the morning.

Work has been steady in tasks as well as mood lately. In other words, it's been quiet. The other day I went to the rest facilities and heard a booming voice filling the room, like a drunk, uninvited guest, convinced of his own singing prowess. I figured maybe two stalls were communicating; a clear breach of  Bathroom Etiquette<tm>. But there was only one stall door closed - either the dude was talking to the Voices or had a cell phone with him (hopefully the latter). Just in case the person on the other end of the line didn't know where the dude was talking from, I flushed the toilet first, right before he told the other party that he'd have get back to them. Because that's the kind of guy I am.

• Best headline of the week: "Hillary Clinton showed us a glimpse of her soul at Benghazi hearings. It was chilling." 
• Ok, maybe there's a better one:  "Suicidal people are locked into coffins in bizarre 'death experience' schools in South Korea where 40 people kill themselves every day." Because distraught, depressed, possibly claustrophobic people are going to learn something by being locked in a coffin. They're going to learn that they don't like being locked in a coffin. If there are no weapons in the coffin, they're going to get out, then kill themselves.

Who says science isn't valuable?  "Monkeys with smaller testicles roar loudest." Remember this when you're passed by an impatient driver in a large, expensive car.

• Indonesia has enacted a law punishing homosexuality with caning. "I'm just here for the caning."

Local rabble in Papua New Guinea are massing and burning women accused of being witches. Perhaps they can get jobs on Florida County Commissions.

• It was bad enough when clothing manufacturers introduced 'vanity sizing', where a size 32 waist might be up to a 38 in reality. Go shopping for jeans - I dare you.  Amazon has Levis in slim fit, original fit, regular fit, relaxed fit, straight, relaxed straight, slim straight, loose straight-leg, athletic straight-fit, slim bootcut, regular tapered, original shrink to fit, skinny, comfort fit, slim fit line 8, slim fit hybrid, straight motion stretch and straight welder. This is just the men's jeans!

Ben Carson is a 7th Day Adventist minister, which frightens me. Remember that freedom of religion is freedom from religion. I'm not saying he will do anything odd, but the possibility is there. He mentions God a lot and refers to his tax plan as tithing.

• Chris Christie (R-Hell) was asked to leave an Amtrak Quiet Car because he was bellowing into a cell phone, oblivious to other passengers.  See - if they let him take the helicopter, this wouldn't be a problem.

REVENGE OF THE CARS:  DOVER, Del.- "Dover police say a suspected drunk driver is facing multiple charges after the car he was driving struck and injured seven people...", "The car hit seven people..", "allowing for the car to continue until hit hit another tree. Investigators said Ligon was found to be under the influence of alcohol..."  Are these two separate incidents? I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that the car did not strike people, did not injure people and did not hit a tree. The drunken scumbag behind the wheel did it. The car, contrary to the reporter's claim, has no free will, therefore cannot make these decisions. The police will tell you that the driver must be in control of his vehicle at all times. How about a drunk driver plowed into a crowd and injured seven people?

• Further proof that we're all aging rapidly: David Bowie will release a new album on 1/8/2016, his 69th birthday.  Hmmm.. David Bowie.... 69....

Speaking of polecats, a study showed that women only make up seven percent of directors out of 250 films. And heterosexuals only make up ten percent [I made that up] - so what? I didn't realize that there was a gender check at the box office.

• Flying Spaghetti Monster News: If you want to show your faith with a pirate hat or a colander on your drivers license, the UK will now allow it. I'm still shopping for a colander with the appropriate gravitas for my license. What this actually means is that there will soon be a lawsuit in PA over religious freedom.

Check out Duracell's new Quantum batteries - they last a long time. Warning: they don't power your device when you're not observing them.

• Millenials are not pursuing cybersecurity careers, especially women.  Yeah, who wants to take a selfie in front of the same servers every day?

People are getting fed up with the gender stereotyping in halloween costumes. Now little girls are donning Iron Man and Spider Man costumes. Accordingly, some of the retail outlets are not using GIRLS and BOYS signs. Presumably, boys are now free to wear princess costumes. Coincidentally, they are also free to return home black and blue, from the beating delivered by their friends (and random strangers).  I think they should go big and wear a Caitlyn Jenner costume - arguably the best of both worlds.

• Defense Secretary Ash Carter says that the US is to begin 'direct action on the ground' in Syria and Iraq. NO BOOTS ON THE GROUND, OBAMA. Are you pathologically incapable of telling the truth? Oh, and that soldier who died? Turns out his boots were on the ground too, Carter. All of you need to take your dishonor out of DC and go make millions in the private sector.. start now, please.

TECH

This is a great article on a great website - "5 mistakes to avoid when buying your next MicroSD card". Did you know there are a number of different SD cards and all aren't created equal? 

MUSICAL EXPLOITS AND CAUSTIC COMMENTARY


I (believe I) have previously ranted about the drivel coming out of radio speakers, specifically whatever Bruno Mars song features the extremely pithy utterance "Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh....ooh!" after every line. Today some loud alleged food truck decided to entertain everyone within a two block radius with some external speakers. I was treated to an old song I vaguely remember, featuring the almost-as-pithy chorus, "Bad girl, bad girl, you're such a naughty bad girl, BEEP BEEP, TOOT TOOT." It is beyond my musical analytical capabilities to properly dissect these wonders of musical magnificence other than to say the alleged singers should be dissected, which would no doubt produce a more musically-pleasing output.

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How about that Neal Schon? No?  He's the guitar player from Journey.

A song that actually made it to MTV is No More Lies, with Jan Hammer. Neal sings and the song is guitar-based. You'll see Jan Hammer playing a keyboard attached to him with a guitar strap. He's an Austrian dude who is a killer keyboardist and even plays drums (I believe he played them on this song). He is an amazing keyboardist but not entirely a pounder on the drums. His playing is more accents, like one might expect from a keyboardist who wrote the song. Another less accentive keyboardist/drummer is Stevie Wonder (no, really, he played drums on some of his biggest hits).

Neal did two albums with the Jan Hammer (Miami Vice, Mahavishnu Orchestra, solo, Jeff Beck), the first of which is called Untold Passion. This is an aptly-named song and an old favorite. It's a perfect example of dynamics, where it starts out with a sparse theme and builds over time to a blazing lead section and finale. Neal and Jan play their asses off. This is incredibly listening for me - passion and execution.

I'm not going to bother with Journey songs because we all know them. He did some incindiery guitar work there. Neal also joined Santana when he was nineteen. THAT is a pedigree.

A man of many moods, Neal has recorded a number of mostly instrumental songs, including I'll Be Waiting. I'm not crazy about his most recent release, as it seems to consist of lighter rock tunes performed instrumentally. Sure, his playing is lyrical, but I don't need to hear some of those songs (My Heart Goes On?) ever again. Completely irrelevant is the fact that the last time I saw him, he had gotten some sort of plastic surgery. It just seemed weird. I'm ugly and I don't cover the gray (although I lament it) and couldn't afford surgery if I wanted it. Fortunately my wife is so impaired, she thinks I'm good-looking.

Here's a little solo during a Journey tour.

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