Drilling Ventilation Holes in the Submarine

Pro Tip: if you tell someone you're from Romania, it is helpful to speak Romanian.

• I love animals. That's why I watch treehouse shows on Animal Planet

The Christmas commercial barrage has begun. Or I just caught it.

It occurs to me that the holiday might be here soon, in a month and a half, and I should get something for someone. I have one someone on my list. One. And I usually screw that one up, proving that advanced planning has no advantage.

If, for some reason, you find yourself married to a person with multiple personalities, you could always ask a different one of them what to get. Not that I would ever do a thing like that.

• Anything worth doing can be done from the couch  - leftyfucious

Mrs lefty was upset because Penny kept lunging at her while she was driving. She figured out Penny wasn't lunging - she is a Spaniel Seatbelt. She sits right in her lap and doesn't move. That's a weird habit for any dog larger than a Yorkie. Fortunately she's not so large as to impair driving.

• You got me like ah and ooh, with all the things you do... 
• I'm sorry, this 'song' annoys the crap out of me. 
• Ok, I'm not sorry.

I voted. You probably voted too. It's a way to make your voice heard, but only if a lot of people vote like you. I had 5 races: three were libertarians, leaving 2 races to investigate. Duckduckgo was very helpful in getting all the local voting and candidate information. One of the remaining two was an easy choice: vote against our local representative. I don't normally do this - I vote for, not against - but this person gets under my skin by breathing. Have you ever met or looked up someone whose every view is diametrically opposed to yours? It's not like we have any common ground, except (perhaps) not killing random people. Killing random people might be ok with her, but you may not do it with guns, because she's against guns. She never misses an opportunity to make government bigger and more expensive. Every single issue. The other race featured 2 people who were moderate democrat and republican. After research, I wound up voting straight libertarian and two republicans. Remember: "Common sense gun regulations" means gun confiscation or other erosions of the 2nd Amendment.

The incumbent governor won (boo), as did the representative from hell, who is wrong on every issue.  I didn't expect to win, but this is disappointing. Apparently a lot of people didn't vote like me.  

There was a huge turnout, which I'll put down to people coming out against Trump (this a guess, not a comment). Everybody in line was pleasant, helping newcomers to the correct line. The staff was either pleasant or near death. I got to entertain here and there, which made it fun for me. Less so Penny, who isn't registered to vote here (yet), and wasn't allowed in the building. Neither was my comfort elephant, which will require a complaint with the Federal Election Commission, and under the Americans with Disabilities Act. They're just lucky I didn't bring my comfort fire engine or comfort F-15.

• Penny just figured out how to open the kitchen door; she puts her paw under and pulls. How do pets figure this stuff out? It's only a matter of time til she figures out the bi-fold bathroom door. All of our pets figured them both out.

This is Penny. Penny is a meerkat.

Say - are you an HSBC customer in California?

Oops - your personal and banking information are out in the wild after a breach. 

"The information that may have been accessed includes your full name, mailing address, phone number, email address, date of birth, account numbers, account types, account balances, transaction history, payee account information, and statement history where available. 

 Naturally, HSBC is very sorry (they got caught) and they take security very seriously (because they got caught).

• Minnesota is the #1 state in voter turnout: 74.7%
• Even my rudimentary math skills show over 25% of voters can't be bothered to abandon their Faceyspaces accounts long enough to make their voices heard.

Do you have boxes of real dead bats, attached to cardboard, with cellophane wrapped around them? You may not send them to Canada. Don't ask how I know.

• Shrimp paste?

Overheard but not confirmed: Best Buy employees have to price match Amazon prices from their personal phones because of people editing html to change prices on Amazon. 

Just in case you haven't discovered the World Wide Web yet, this means people are taking Amazon web pages and altering the code (html) to reflect their desired price.

Let me eat my words: We are not a nation of morons. We are a nation of mostly morons.

Sinead O'Connor has converted to Islam and declared that she doesn't want to associate with white people.

1. Whoever is in charge of Public Relations for Islam had better tell her Mohammed wants her to entertain others from the safety of a soundproofed closet, twelve stories underground, at a nuclear-fortified facility. The reason they're so slow on this is that Public Relations is also in charge of picking random places to blow up innocent people in other countries, in the name of God.
2. Sinead, alternately known as Skinhead or My Little Garbage Truck, in addition to converting, got a real knock on the head and has also converted to Social Justice Warrior. This is proved by her statement coming out on Twitter, where you are not allowed to malign Muslims.
3. This woman is a mess. Those of us who pay attention to this sort of thing (and tell jokes at polling places), suspect she's a victim of abuse, perhaps as a child. She hasn't dealt with her trauma. Let's say Sinead is a balloon (a pretty blue one): she starts out flat, then fills with grief and agita until full. If she doesn't process the agita, the balloon can't hold more air, so it blurts out little bits, like we used to do when we were little to make fart sounds. The bizarre behavior is the air leaking out, bit by bit. After she deals with the event that brought this about, the air will go out of her. Then she'll be flat again (which is not so good if you're a musician). It would be a good thing to get this behind her, lest she find herself the lone member of the Symbionese Liberation Army, remote flying drones that drop bombs on people who don't want to associate with white people.

• Another shooting.
• There have been mass shootings for years. Lately it seems they're out of control. So to speak.
• Is the media hyping the shootings?
• Is there an agenda to disarm Americans? If so, who benefits?
• Has MKULTRA come back in a different form? Who's doing the programming?
• Have we simply morphed into a society with a larger tiny percentage of mass murderers?
• Many of the shooters were on prescribed medicines, like antidepressants and antipsychotics.
• I have no firm answers - just asking questions.

The Guardian, a very strange newspaper in the UK, featured this gem, when they learned that People magazine voted Idris Elba the Sexiest Man Alive:

Congrats, Idris Elba: but next year, let's have a less macho sexiest man alive...

Do you really want to live on the same planet as these people?
How about Harvey Fierstein?
Hint: evolution favors the macho, not the metro.


Many sections of the UK have gone completely off the rails; mostly the government and the more prominent voices of SJWs. If someone said Idris was an ass, the police would prosecute for hate speech and the SJWs would prosecute for racism (because he's black). America would prosecute because no one should be called Idris.

• For some unknown reason, I get a few visits from a domain that seems to belong to some very adult websites, possibly also Ashley Madison. Is somebody trying to tell me something? It is my wife?

old crazy lefty is at it again, with another theory...

Many theories have been put forth about UFOs and their pilots. It is said that some flying things are ours and some are not. There is no shortage of proof that things are flying around up there, regardless of whose.  It is also a fact that the Powers The Be (PTB) have spent much time, money, and lives denying there's anything up there. There are three 'official' explanations for Roswell, from our own government. Why the extreme effort to deny?

Given there's an unknown reason, perhaps it's technology no one wants us to have. Perhaps there's something no one wants to tell us. I'm a big boy - I want, and have the right, to be told the truth.

[Here's the out of the box part] Is it possible that ancient astronauts the pilots of the craft that aren't ours are already known and perhaps already established? That would explain a lot. Or maybe they're all ours and it's all a show.

All I Want for Christmas is Headache Relief

Mariah Carey is turning her song "All I Want for Christmas is You" into an animated movie with herself narrating. Because the world is crying out for it.  I know this because the local Fox morning show brought in yet another Yak Show Special Guest to tell us all about it.

Speaking of Hard Hitting News, Fox just aired their third segment on Flashy Nails with Sparkly Bits. This segment features a teaser, followed by two experts from a local nail salon applying these scandalous fake nails to the reporter's short and mangled nails. This is a breaking story that no doubt will involve international Special Reports every thirty minutes, with other networks gearing up their own coverage. When the story is beaten to death, which some will argue has already transpired, Mariah Carey will reportedly do a movie about it, with herself narrating.

• are you ready for the latest Big Controversy? A white man has been accused of Cultural Appropriation for painting a picture of a black man. I never studied sociology but this means something (aside from reaching Peak Stupidity).

A great feature of cell phones is the ability to install software and change things. For example, the standard Android keyboard and I do not get along. I installed a different one (after wading through hundreds of them, primarily concerned with emojis), with which I got on a little better. Here is where I start to blaspheme: I have a really good relationship with the keyboard on my work iDevice. While the thunder dies away, I have no idea why this is. It has tiny little keys, while I keep going larger with the Android keyboards.

Just for fun, I searched for an iDevice keyboard for Android. I installed the most popular one, which immediately started phoning home to China (I use No-Root Firewall, which tells me these things). This is what will happen to you if you install crappy software. Clue#1: subtle to hilarious English mistakes in the description. Check the privacy policy and whatever else is listed at the bottom of the software description. Also check reviews, making sure to look for English mistakes or obvious shills. Stick with popular software companies.

• In news guaranteed to amuse, The Turkish Hacking Family group claims to have access to over 300 million iCloud accounts and is threatening to remotely wipe this data unless Apple pays a ransom ($75,000 in crypto currency or $200,000 in iTunes gift cards). The deadline is April 7. Whether or not this threat is real, Apple is advising everyone to change their iCloud password and enable two-step authentication. This may or may not be the same group that is involved in The Fappening 2.0, exposing pictures of celebrities.

A Utah man was killed and his wife injured in the London Islamist terror attack. This won't go over well with the Brits but maybe it's time to arm... the police and other authorities aren't providing much cover here and ultimately it's up to a person to defend himself and his family. Something to think about..

I owe a heartfelt apology to the Swiss, who I accused of the London attack. Turns out it was a Muslim.

• I am a big fan of Android Forums. Lots of information and assistance for any android device. They just got hacked and a very small percentage of accounts lost a few bits of information - one report said it was forty. Guess who's one of the forty? Yup.

On the Stupid News File, after the obnoxious outside host kissed a camel, they ran a promo for a wedding dress show. One look at the lady in the dress said man. Yup, she's a transexual. Marrying another transexual. Hey, do what makes you happy, but the math here is staggering.  He has a full beard, meanwhile I can't grow hair on the top of my head.

• Just the other day, the Senate voted 50(R) to 48(D) to allow ISPs to sell your personal data. This is the headline but it's caught up in a different topic, namely letting regulations apply to all entities equally. Regardless, it's just your privacy. Early word is that the best way to prevent this is to use a VPN. Here's some info on how your information is collected.

If you're traveling from certain Muslim countries to the US/UK, you'll need to stow your laptop. In Serious Anti-Terrorism News, the US/UK have decided that you cannot use or carry your laptop to the US from certain countries. Authorities claim that this measure is not based on any intelligence. Well, it sure seems like a stupid measure to implement otherwise. And let's face it - it's going to be a problem regardless of where it goes boom. Security Theater.

• Two weeks after Failed Snowmageddon 2017, nobody has piled additional snow on my car. For this I am grateful. No local authorities have been involved but we have called in Cthulu to make a small statement to the (allegedly) adult miscreant neighbors.

Someone discovered a dishwasher with a web server. A web server. When it breaks or gets hacked (which it will), you have to get web server updates from a dishwasher company. What could possibly go wrong?  To be fair, this is an industrial machine for hospitals, which are fast becoming a rich target for hackers. This will not end well.

Antivirus company F-Secure released this list of most-used login/password combinations used to hack their honeypot (decoy for the purposes of collecting information) machines. Please don't use these.

• Good article on hack-proofing your smart phone. If you're lazy, you won't like this.

I'm in the middle of intensive training for this event!

Happy Monday is an Oxymoron

Why is our president and some of his staff still using a private email server? Or are they? Trump and some of his staff still have accounts on a RNC server that may or may not have been hacked, depending on what day of the week this is. Oddly enough, this is the same server used by the Bush administration to communicate during the Iraq war (let us pray... that it has been upgraded since then). Professional liar and former and present CIA head James Comey claims there was limited access to a non-used server.

Security experts are also worried about the president's use of an Android phone. The reason given is that he could be a target on insecure wifi. Yes, any of us can be a target - that's why no one should use any old wifi at any old coffee shop or at the airport. Use a VPN if you absolutely must access these services. Trump's own staff would like him to turn in the phone, especially as concerns Twitter.

Speaking as an alleged Security Dude, these people have a point. Virtually no one bothers to secure their phone, including alleged Security Professionals. Even the previous president had a custom-secured cell phone. Is the device encrypted so no one can get into it? Is there a password or PIN code that automatically locks the device? Is it accessing a secure system? Is there any actual secure information on the phone in the first place?  I'd prefer, as you would expect, the device be locked down to hell and back.. you know.... like mine. Even if there's nothing interesting there, less to attack is always better.

• Over in Iraq, the Islamic State's chief executioner, who has beheaded more than 100 people, has been knifed to death. I believe this is what they call irony. Or just desserts.

Google found and quarantined some brand new malware on a customer's android phone. Yay, they caught the malware!  Now stop for a second and think about this.... Google remotely accessed the phone to quarantine the malware. While this capability isn't news to some of us, it should be news to everybody. iDevice users, don't get all smug - your phone can be remote-accessed by Apple too. In fact at one point, programs 'disappeared'. E-books have also gone bye-bye. It's a PITA, but possible to disconnect from Google (it's beyond the scope of this paragraph). The other message here is to be very careful what you download from Google Play. Since there's very little to tell you whether the program is clean, avoid programs with few reviews, few downloads, non-English or broken English text or reviews, and authors you don't know. Stick with the majors. Also stay away from cleaners/memory boosters/speed boosters; they're not needed on android anymore.

• Ransomware knocked seventy percent of the Washington, DC, spy surveillance cameras ahead of the inauguration. Some cameras had more than one piece of malware. The ransomware was introduced via a spam email that some high-functioning, security-minded government worker opened. This affected a server with all sorts of documents. The fix to ransomware is to have good, frequent backups, of which it appears there are none. Perhaps we will be spared some aspects of the Security State by its own incompetence.

Cocker Spaniels are notorious for separation anxiety, or at least the three rescue cockers we adopted have been. Marshall prefers his people around the house at all times. I had to go somewhere today and he saw me put on my coat. He sat down and gave me this look. They have big, expressive eyes to begin with, and when they're upset, you know it. Marshall was upset. Small wonder I don't like to leave the house... poor little guy. When I got home, he was anchored to me.

Speaking of Marshall, the little darling continued his weekly visit with the vet for his ear infection, which has been going on forever. Healthy all his life, he has had problems since his cat died (grief-related illnesses?). Cockers are prone to ear problems due to their flaps and closed ear canals. The current diagnosis is antibiotic-resistant bacteria. They referred us to a Doggie Dermatologist. This little diversion cost $200, plus the new consultation. Even his parents have never seen a dermatologist.

guess who...

• How do you know when the driver in front of you is going to make a turn? His turn signal is not on.

Pasta: Yes, there's an app for that! I can't make the pasta until I charge my phone!

• Netgear routers have yet another flaw that would allow hackers to get into it remotely. Check to see if yours is listed. Disable remote administration regardless.

A popular new joke is that the Statue of Liberty is going to be deported. I suggest whoever gets it has to take the UN too.

• Yesterday we had sun, gloom, snow, and sun in the span of about an hour. This is not normal, even for here.

John Wetton, bassist and vocalist for King Crimson and Asia, lost his battle with cancer. He was 67.

• As if you didn't think I was totally tin foil hat, this should do it for you. You can be ultrasonically tracked while using cell phones, to build up a profile of you across devices. There is an android and a Chrome patch to disable it. My feeling is that if people can't hear the sound, the speaker in the phone can't put that high a frequency out. Apparently my feeling is incorrect. Further, I believe one can avoid this via turning off javascript, but time will tell.

Hey, I think I need some Magnums.

Magnum ice cream bars or Magnum large condoms?

I'm buying both to make it an extra special weekend.

• The People's Republic of Berkeley had to cancel a talk by a gay Jew who likes black guys the other night, due to rioting on campus. Yes, the tolerant students for free speech (only when it agrees with them), demanded the event be canceled. One of the ringleaders was ok with the violence and said it was 'self-defense'. So the people calling the speaker a nazi are themselves behaving like nazis. Students need to be protected from words. Remember when students protested war? Non-violently?
• Make no mistake, the students had every right to protest. Violence, however, is illegal and not the way to make one's point.
• The Associated Press and USA Today's coverage consisted of peaceful people marching with signs. There were fires, assaults with pipes, two groups protesting, an ATM smashing, cars damaged, and a live band.
• These Students of Public Relations who are essentially protesting Trump are doing a wonderful job of keeping him in office.
• The Berkeley Police ordered the students to disperse several times. They were extremely helpful in keeping order. Other police departments move in to restore order and stop further crimes. Why didn't this department?

A recent small study has revealed that black humor a sign of high intelligence. Finally-vindication!

Pining for the Fjords

Social Justice Worker alert: Hillary Clinton: "Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat." Yeah, Hill, the men only lose their lives, but no matter....

From the same media cesspool: did you know women suffer from prostate cancer too? They suffer when their partners get it. This idiocy is not going to stop for a long time.

• A 38 year old Polish nightclub owner was practicing his tank driving, as we all do, when he drove it into his own nightclub during a live Facebook stream.  This story highlights the difference between European and American culture: you cannot drive a tank in the US. We will never be truly equal until we can.

The New Oakland, California police chief ordered a shutdown of everyone's cell phone service on SFBART because he thought there was going to be a protest. Digest this... the police can order your cell service shut down on public transportation. Because of an alleged protest.

• The 'Hack the Pentagon' program has gone very well. This is where people are encouraged to find flaws in the Pentagon's computer systems (non-core or critical systems only).  The program turned up over 100 bugs. Just in 'non-ciritical' systems. Dare we guess what's going on with critical systems? Dare we guess why we're hacked?

The Anonymous hacking collective has been going after the Islamic State by replacing content with porn, to shame them. Hopefully they haven't been using goat or child porn, which would only excite them.

• Three women were charged for assaulting McDonald's employee for working too slowly. I'm wondering if the threat of this can be used to get employees to work faster and, more importantly, more accurately. Maybe they can be hired or visit different stores. The mind boggles.

Russian government hackers have been in the DNC network for up to a year. The State Department doesn't have to release emails - the Russians have already threatened to.

• Microsoft has purchased LinkedIn. As if either of them mattered.

With all the crap going on in the world, New York proves there's still a shred of humanity, after three men jumped down from a subway platform to save a man on the tracks. I'm sure there's a lot of this going on but it goes unreported.

• We here at Thermionic are against all forms of gun control. However, some guy adjusted his pants at Zabar's, an upscale Manhattan market, and shot himself. This is the kind of gun control we need. Some might call it Darwinism.

German Justice Minister Haiko Mass says Germany will not recognize polygamous or underage marriages, as practiced by immigrants. Apparently assaulting Germans and throwing gays off buildings are still on the table.

PRO TIP FOR MINORITY GROUPS IN THE PUBLIC EYE: As we know, I'm a libertarian. I haven't seen a ton of others but I have seen some local libertarians and their web pages. With the exception of Gary Johnson and the other guys running for president in our party, we're not a good-looking bunch of folks. I don't mean attractive - I mean the way we dress and act. If you're looking for some attention or to get someone's vote, a very important part of this is making your audience think you're like them. Guys (and girls, if there are any), put on a suit jacket. Sound mainstream normal. Yeah, this is style over substance but you stand a much better chance of being elected if you don't look like a mountain man in a black button-down shirt, who hasn't shaved in a month or three. This is precisely why I'm not out doing libertarian work - I look like a reject from the Aging Rock Star pageant. I'm the idea man, the inside guy. The guy you don't want out scaring potential voters.

Now let me extend this to our brothers and sisters in the LGBT community: Orlando was a national nightmare. The only positive thing that came about thus far is that you have been given a voice on the national stage. While I hope this event can produce something of long term substance, you need to make the most of your current opportunity. You probably don't want your spokesman to be a limp-wristed flamer with a flag painted on his face or a woman who shaved off half her hair and dyed the other half purple, with nose and eyebrow piercings and a suspicious chain going down into the front of her pants. There are gay people everywhere, who dress for business. Put a few of them up front. Again, you want your audience to feel that you're just like them. You're likely to gain a lot more traction this way.

Ymmv, of course.

RIP Ren, 2016