Your Car is Racist

Things must be getting interesting in England, where candidate Boris Johnson (R-New Jersey) has just been accused of racism and stoking unrest. Gee, where have we heard something like this before?  Tune in next week for The Bizarre Hair Club for Men special.


Today in the news, there is none.
CNN is in hysterics, trying to cram everyone who has negative things to say about Trump running for re-election on the air.
FOX is overjoyed with the announcement, running clips from the rally and having a giggle at other 'news' outlet clips, every one damning Trump.

So it's SNAFU - Situation Normal, All F'd Up.

But wait, there's actually a development....
FOX has a bible study program.
A bible study program.

Well, it's their station, their clear bias, but a bible study program?
I'm certain it's trademark Fox, but putting cameras in the study says something about the network as well as the participants. If I were in that group, I'd strenuously object because cameras change things and I wouldn't want my private thoughts and feelings aired on tv (I have a blog for that - STOP IT!).

Not even an illusion of propriety.




Blighty

• Another candidate for Minister of Prime Beef is a fellow who looks like Howdy Doody, always smiling, with lips that don't entirely make it over his teeth. If he wins, how will the good people of the UK know when he is happy or sad? He'd have to hire a press secretary to report bad news because he always looks happy about it.
• Do you hear that? It was the sound of my British reader closing this site for the last time.
• The duke and duchess of TV Coveridge, Henry or Harry something, are getting praise for their work with the elderly. The other day, a motorcycle in their security detail taught an 83 year old woman how to fly. The security motorcycle hit her and up she went. What goes up came right down, and now she's in the hospital ('in hospital' in British). The duke and duchess, asked for comment, said, "The woman had a lot of nerve, being in the way of our security detail.  At her age, she should know better. We'll invite her to the palace and introduce her to the Queen's stunt double. That should keep the lawsuits down to a minimum. Oh, is this microphone on?"

645,000 clients are affected in Oregon Department of Human Services data breach. It started as a phishing expedition and an employee bit. Human engineering is a huge security hole that can't be reliably plugged. This stuff ain't new.

Dear lefty:

• Why are women of color objecting to dictionary.com's definition of black?
• Because 'words hurt'. The people complaining lack basic knowledge of language and comprehension.

“If a young Black person saw and learned these definitions for ‘Black,’ they would be unintentionally learning to hate themselves. The statement: Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words do not, is untrue,”...

Trojan, world famous maker of latex hand warmers, has a new social media campaign: if you're one of the 59% of men who are unhappy with the shape or size of your hand, comment with [hash]PrideInMine.

Yes, you can advertise to millions that your appendage is tiny and misshapen. It will also do wonders for your love life. Win/win.

• Two drones have been downed near Iran. These cost $180 million each. Your tax dollars at work.

There is a charity in England that gives out free healthcare for pets of the homeless. This is a wonderful humanitarian gesture. And I'm thinking of how much we've spent on vet care/cancer treatment....

• The Supreme Court has ruled that a large cross monument to WWI soldiers can stand in Maryland. They consider it history moreso than religion. 
• This is the Supreme Court. Aren't they supposed to uphold the First Amendment, among others? 
• Rest assured if someone put an upside down cross there as a monument, we wouldn't be having this discussion. 
• All veterans deserve a monument.

It could be worse: you could live in Horry County, South Carolina.

• We noticed an elderly lady with some brightly colored doodads on her walker. When Mrs lefty complimented her, her daughter said, "She's 102."
• We asked the lady about her secret for long life, as she was walking out of the Red Meat Emporium.
• When I make 102, if my helper announces my age to every stranger who walks by, I will run her over with my walker. And again with my car.

Note to Libertarian party members:

We have a better chance than ever to make numbers this election. We definitely dropped the ball last time. Amid calls for donations and advocacy, let's take a page from the business world: dress for success.  It kills me to make appearances a key point, but it's reality. My last search for candidates showed a broad swath, mostly dressed like and looking like a loose IT department. Let's stop looking like mountain folk and groups with cotton candy-colored hair if we want to be taken seriously. While suits don't convey ability, you had better wear one to a job interview. Why don't I knock on doors or carry signs? Because I look like some sort of rock star reject, and wouldn't want people to think this is what we are. I scare people. 

When we debate, just showing up is points. Standing next to the established party clowns should be of immense help on its own. Knowing talking points and having enthusiasm are also mandatory. Let's not repeat Gary; that was an opportunity to score big.

We should also have a VP candidate that isn't a republican and doesn't identify strongly with them in interviews and practice.

It's a long, tough road, with established parties throwing up roadblocks because they're scared of us. As our numbers get higher, libertarian points are starting to creep into the established platforms. At very least, that's where we can do some good. We're not going to win for a long time, but we're making inroads and getting heard. Now all we have to do is let half of the country know there is another party.

Be safe out there and vote FOR, not against.

Stan Stops UFO Research

RIP Stanton Friedman (84), the father of UFO research. He just retired from the circuit. We lost a great one.

Stanton was a nuclear physicist who brought science to the UFO field, first concentrating on Roswell. His firm allowed him to lecture at work and elsewhere. Did you know there are over 400 people on record regarding Roswell?

Stanton accurately described the denizens of planet Earth as a 'primitive society whose major activity is clearly tribal warfare.'

He was a funny guy, said to be quite nice, by those who met or interviewed him. He referred to people like Bill Nye and the SETI folks as Noisy Negativists, for taking an opinion based on nothing and ignoring the evidence. In honor of a lifetime of work, I suggest we rename Area 51 to The Stanton Friedman Memorial Roswell Research Center.

Read his books and check out some videos on YouTube.
Who knows - maybe he has the answers now...



Dear lefty

• How do they make oven-proof glass?
• From boron, you moron.

After a philanthropist got an honorary degree and picked up the tab for the entire class, Oprah was called out for not doing the same.

What's the matter with these people?
You're not allowed to tell someone how to spend their own money. I'm not an Oprah fan, but this applies to everyone. I think the guy's a hero, but haven't demanded anyone else do the same. Oh, wait, this was on social media. That explains everything.

Hmmmm... maybe ThermionicEmissions readers could make some demands:

• Faceyspaces' Mark Zuckerberg should donate generously to the presidential re-election fund.
• Google should send a few billion to the Electronic Freedom Foundation.
• The RNC should donate to the Freedom from Religion Foundation

The kilogram has gotten more accurate by changing what it's related to.

It has traditionally been tied to the English Prime Minister's shoe size. It will now reflect a more static value - the amount of countries currently on the moon.

• Canada is using cardboard cop cutouts to catch speeders.
• Last year, the cardboard shot 8 people - 7 more than the real police.

Let's watch some morning news:
FOX: this is the damage caused by multiple tornadoes in Oklahoma. Ted Cruz says Yale unfair to Christians... and conservatives.
CNN: We need to impeach Trump: here's a democrat to tell you about it. The president talks like a mafia boss. Maine's lobster industry is concerned because of Trump's trade war.

I want to watch news. What's happening? Did I miss something important overnight? Anything coming up? International stories? The Broken Needle Networks are worthless.



On the issue of abortion (I'm for it, sometimes mandatory), many people say that it's the woman's business, not the government's (I agree). Why, then, is everything else the government's business? Alcohol, tobacco, drugs, sex work, vaccinations, medicines, etc. Let's be intellectually honest and apply this across the board.

• After the revelation of barbaric treatment of England's mentally ill. the government has rushed into action and put together a program to stop people from jumping into the Thames River. With signs. Maybe a fence.
• Other suggestions included putting a rubber pool cover over the river, and making it illegal to jump.

Florida (we can't go too long without mentioning FL) man accused of threatening to behead another man and several police officers, then eat their tongues and eyes. 

Man apologizes. What he meant to say was, "The job situation in the country is looking up."

• Here's a feelgood headline: Flight Grounded for Hours with Body Inside After Passenger Dies Mid-Flight. I'll bet they charge him the freight rate also.

IMPORTANT:
Make sure your operating system and programs are patched. There's a particularly nasty Windows vulnerability that uses Remote Desktop Protocol (RDP). RDP allows you to connect to your pc from inside or outside of the network. NEVER EXPOSE RDP to the internet. There are other ways to access your home pc remotely. RDP has no security and anybody can hack in.

You're No Fun Anymore

The US Navy and Marines are cracking down on nude photo sharing. Yes, this can no longer go on without permission of the person photographed nude. Apparently this regulation makes it more illegal to post nudes, as it was already illegal under "conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman." Kinda like hate speech.

Which brings me to my next thought: do the armed forces only hire gentlemen? What about ladies? Do we want an armed forces that only hires gentlemen - or would it be like Britain, where they apologize for bombing countries? "Oh, terribly sorry... our planes seemed to have dropped bombs on your factories."

No, I don't want gentlemen - I want rude, crude, lewd, and bright fighters.

• When the lovely folks from AntiFa peacefully attacked Trump supporters with violence and bike locks, the Reddit Detective Squad went into action to identify the culprits.  What did they turn up?  Diablo Valley College and SFSU professor Eric Clanton.  From the site: His work in political philosophy also centers on mass incarceration and the prison system. Yes, a college professor assaulted 'the enemy' with heavy metal. I don't remember these classes in college....
• Rioting 101: how to dress. Will this face mask make me look fat? What is the correct shade of black for my skin? Dreads: are they right for me?
• Rioting 201: weapons. Bicycle locks, Hyundais, and small anvils. Demonstration by the Acme Weapons Company.
• Rioting 302: when caught, how to blame Trump for your actions, the weather, and how your free speech has been eroded by being prosecuted for assault. Releasing a statement to the press about how the whole thing has been caused by the White Male Patriarchy.
• Remember, California: all of this would not be possible without your tax dollars!

A 19 year old pair of McDonalds dipping sauces sold for more than 11,500 pounds on Ebay. My calculations put that figure at $47.533 grams but the article specifies $14,700. Believe whichever you choose. Say what you want about the economy, but someone has too much money.

• Berkeley campus on lockdown after loose pages from Wall Street Journal found on park bench.  Ok, this is from The Onion, but it's not far from reality.

In today's Internet of Things news, there is an internet-connected juicer. No, really. It has a brand new feature, in that it doesn't work when the internet is down.

• The local Fox morning show, a favorite target of ThermionicEmissions, features a local kid playing hackeysack. The show is never short of useful information.

In Marshall news, he's headed to the surgeon for his (hopefully) last post-op visit. He gets his Cone of Shame removed, which should make things easier on him and his parents. It didn't take him long to get used to it, by which I mean walking around, smashing into things and knocking other things over, then circling back to do it again.

Now we have this thing I call The Doggie Dance, largely because I can't think of any other names at this moment.  Whenever he wants something, he whines. Unfortunately the same whine can mean "I want to go outside," "I'm hungry", or "I'm thirsty" and you have to try each of them to figure out what he wants.

Dog whines. I walk to door and ask if he wants to go outside. He stares at me and doesn't move. I sit down.

Dog whines. I walk to door and ask if he wants to go outside. Again, he stares at me. Again I sit down.

Dog whines impatiently.  Oh, it must be food. Fill bowl. Dog eats food. I sit down.

Dog whines and walks to door. Apparently he has to do things in a certain order. Doggie OCD? Don't ask me. And I'm not asking the vet, as we've already bought her a Mercedes and sent her entire family on a cruise to the Bahamas.

As I sit back down, Dog Barks and whines like he's being tortured. This means "I'm ready to come back inside."

By the time I'm temporarily sitting again, he's satisfied that he's caused the maximum amount of carnage and grief possible at the hour, he goes upstairs, bashes through the bedroom door, and has a nap on the bed. Who runs this house anyway?

• If you use LinkedIn and updated your iDevice app, you got a little surprise popup that asked you if you wanted to make your data available to nearby Bluetooth users, even when you're not using the app. This was a problem for anyone who watches what pops up, especially as this update was just a fix. LinkedIn, owned by a small firm called Microsoft, apologized immediately and is working on a fix. Because I want my phone to ping random strangers near me so I can talk to their owners of the joys of LinkedIn.

you are welcome to save this but do NOT tell anyone where it came from

Oh The Outrage

Gone viral is the story of a Philadelphia-ish area woman with an autistic child who was asked to leave Friendlys (an ice cream chain). The child was screaming and crying loudly. The mother, who is pushing this as a Huge Story, freely admits that the child is 'a bit of a brat' and 'loud'.

Rather than taking the child for a walk, she was 'afraid' to leave her other child at the table. Rather than simply taking the child out of the restaurant, like one would with any screaming child. The mother states this is 'intolerant', although she does not like the word tolerant. Just for fun, the show asked the child's older brother (approximately 10) what he thought of it, who referred to hate and anger. This poor child will always be secondary to his brother. The autistic child ran around and screamed in the studio.

In a statement, Friendlies states that they are "Confident that dialog is taking place."

C'mon, Mom.. you freely admit everything about your son that states he should have left the restaurant. Stop milking this, crying autism. A letter from another parent with autistic children states that she will leave an establishment when her child/children act out. Mom poo-pooed it.

• NYPD is planning to switch to Windows 10 Mobile. This is what we call a Dunderhead Move. Not because I hate Windows (well, not entirely) but because the platform is almost dead. Plus they must love pain. NYPD is already using Win 10 on their mobile phones, with the plan being to 'upgrade' them to Win 10 mobile. The reasoning is the security of the platform(!) and the mobile device management capabilities (which every other platform has too). Not only is this a stupid move, it's apparent that someone in the NYPD is either getting a kickback or is just incredibly friendly with a vendor. This isn't the first time this has happened.. many cities have selected statewide radio systems for police and fire that have been borderline useless. These people know nothing and rely on salespeople, who we know always tell the truth.

I prefer to let anatomy (especially blood) remain where it is, secure in the knowledge that it's doing what it's supposed to do, or at very least, I don't need to be looking there and passing out (possibly dying a rock star's death by choking on my own vomit). The other night we were catching up on Bones episodes. I remember them as intelligent and well-written, with funny and relatable characters and not a ridiculous amount of gore.  Apparently the focus changed while we weren't watching it. There were all sorts of hideous sights.. I can't and won't try to describe them, as I spent a good portion of the episodes looking at my computer instead of the tv. One particular delicacy involved a mostly eaten body with a carnivorous fish embedded inside what was left of it. Even the wife, a nurse, thought it was pretty gross. So Bones has changed a bit.

In addition to those bodily functions, there's one that of which I was never aware: the switch in my ass. Before your mind wanders too far, there's a switch in my butt that activates the dog whenever I sit. It lets him know it's a great time to do something that involves notifying me in an urgent manner and tone. This can be one of three things: I need food, I need to go outside, or I need water. He never asks for two at the same time, preferring to nudge me for them individually when the switch activates. As parents of bipeds, I suspect you know of this switch. Thus concludes your hidden anatomy lesson for the day (hopefully the year).

• Over 50 parents in England were furious when their children were left stranded on a bus because their Muslim driver stopped on a main road and knelt down to pray. I'm thinking that if your religion is going to interfere with doing your job that much, perhaps you need a different job. Imagine if other religions practiced during their work time...
• Islamists would park the bus across traffic, hoping cars and trucks would kill the kids
• Christians would sacrifice the children to God, while the Catholics would make them feel guilty for it
• Jews would take the kids out for a nice corned beef special, requesting the early-bird and group discounts
• Buddhists would have the children visualize going to school
• Atheist drivers would insist there are no schools and drop the kids back home

Friend to all, the IRS paid $12 million for Microsoft software it doesn't use. Not that anyone should use Microsoft software, but this is yet another example of government waste. But let's keep it between us, or else The Audits Will Begin.

• In today's Internet of Things update, Philips has pushed a firmware update that "accidentally" caused all 3rd party bulbs to stop working. In Plain English, the Philips bulbs are internet-connected. Philips sent/forced an update that makes other connected bulbs stop working. Not only will your house get hacked from outside, your appliances will fight each other for dominance. The fridge will not only refuse to tell you what's inside, it will keep trying to stop the oven from working. The oven, in retaliation, will send the fridge's password to anyone who asks, resulting in it divulging its contents and people ordering food that can't fit into it. Your heater will experience sibling rivalry with the air conditioner, causing hourly changes in house temperature, similar to changes in season. Your sleep (and sex life) will be completely ruined by hackers inflating and deflating your sleep number mattress while you're in bed.

The internet and the local Fox morning show have been awash with multiple segments about Beyonce's bleeding ear. One report had fans ripping out their own earrings. Still no word about her fans' eardrums.

• According to a Men's Health magazine poll on Faceyspaces, which might explain it, half of men shave or trim their leg hair. I find this almost as perplexing as this election.

As we can all agree, this election has been a Class A Shitshow. A dumpster fire extraordinaire. The Dirty Tricks Squad<tm> has been out in force. To give you an idea of what's been happening behind the scenes, check out this video on the Clinton campaign's Agitator Program<tm>.  Be certain that this happens on both sides of the alleged aisle. And it's only going to get dirtier from here.

• In Germany, a man turned himself in to the police, admitting that he put his baby up for sale on Ebay, but it was a joke. Apparently one cannot sell a baby on Ebay - who knew? Oh yeah, the police are only referring to the family as 'refugees'.

PornHub wants everyone to know that after the scary clown sightings, searches for clown porn went through the roof. This has been a public service announcement.

• After having won the Nobel Prize for Literature, the committee cannot reach Bob to work out details. This may be the coolest thing to happen since John Lennon returned his MBE to the Queen.

I'm not sure but it's possible Samsung has declared war on China. It seems Samsung did not include China in its initial recall of its fire-prone devices.

• Chinese media says emojis should be regulated. I agree but think they should be terminated with extreme prejudice

At a recent Amy Schumer appearance, some audience members walked out over her Trump-bashing. While I believe no one should have Amy inflicted upon them, they did pay for the tickets. Would you walk out on a comic for something like this?

• Lest we think my technical criticisms of the presidential candidates is one-sided, it has been discovered that Trump's organization is using the Windows Server 2003 operating system. Again, my love for Windows aside, Microsoft discontinued support for Server 2003 last year. This is inexcusable.
• Speaking of which, my digestion has been interrupted by news that Hillary considered Bill or Melinda Gates as VP candidates. The Official Campaign Move would be Kill Bill. Bill Clinton reported to be nervous. Truly the Axis if Evil.

Should We Continue Business as Usual?

OBAMA APPOINTS MONSANTO'S VICE PRESIDENT AS SENIOR ADVISOR TO THE COMMISSIONER AT THE FDA

Considering the fact that Monsanto just bought Blackwater, we may soon be the United States of Monsanto (by force?).  Again, it's incestuous.  Look at the appointees and long-term government employees.


Homeland Security Monitoring All Journalists & Social Media Users.  And they'll be saving the data, in case they can get you for something later on.

You got it, folks.  Big Sister will be keeping all of your social media data and it's perfectly legal.


Airport Screeners to Be Monitored for Radiation

Your memory doesn't have to be too good to recall Big Sister saying how the xray machines at airports represented absolutely no threat to the operators or victims forced to walk through them.  The xray machines that were strangely ready to go into all airports as soon as Big Sister mentioned them....


Hundreds Threaten Suicide At Microsoft Supplier Plant In China

Define `extreme cruelty'.  
At first I thought they were being forced to use Windows (I'd threaten suicide too).  No, they were demanding a wage increase.  Foxconn and China may have something to teach us after all....  and it will no doubt show up in your Xbox purchase.


Ron Paul News

CNN’s Ron Paul Reporter Admits Bias: “Worried” About Paul’s Success

You mean they're not fair and balanced, like Fox?

Does the Establishment Media Fear Ron Paul?

Is it mostly rainy in England?


Ron Paul won second place in New Hampshire.  This is his second finish in second place.  Remember that when you hear that he's not electable.  Remember that Paul's positions have been consistent over his time in office; they have not waivered or flip-flopped.  You know exactly where he stands on any issue, regardless of how you feel about it.  Try that with any other establishment politician.

Obama is a grave disappointment but not a shock.  He is simply Bush in a darker shade.  The fact is that Ron Paul does not represent the establishment, like the others.  All of these clowns are establishment pawns, ready to do the bidding of their corporate masters at our expense.   This is why the mainstream media barely mentions his name - they're terrified.  All sorts of groups are terrified and I see that as a good thing.  Voting for anyone else in the false republican/democrat paradigm is a wasted vote.

No one is perfect:  I disagree with Paul on abortion (he's against it).  He's a Conservative Christian.  We make the strangest bedfellows, yet I think he's our only hope.  He will uphold the constitution and he's the only one who will.  Bush and Obama continued the dismantling of our sacred document, right by right, chipping away with the aid of an impotent and corrupt Congress.  Romney is another lapdog who will continue the game.  Newt bends whichever way the wind blows (not to mention his failed Contract with America) and Santorum is religiously addled, among other things.

In Iowa, Paul owned the thirty and under vote.  Independents changed their registration to republican so they could vote for him.  He raises huge amounts of money and has serious internet support, which you will not hear about in the media.


Don't vote for the lesser of evils: vote for our country and our rights.