Smoking at the Gas Pump

It turns out that many security apps on the Google Play store are impotent or fake.  Always be careful when choosing an app of any variety. At very least, bizarre wording is a clue.

• A 320lb ($247 Canadian) woman was sentenced for sitting on and smothering a girl.
• Too stupid to figure out she can get paid for this.

Dear lefty:

• If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?
• Hemlock.

An astronomer married his wife because she had a celestial body.

• A woman nearly died after she injected herself with fruit juice.
• And people tell me chocolate is bad for you...

My wife is going to brunch today. 

Why in the entire universe do we need a word like brunch?

Have our finest scholars been working on this for one hundred and two years? "Let's see... it's just not right to call eating at 11:00 breakfast, nor lunch. We need another word for it... hey, let's smash the two words together! We can call it lunchfast!"  You will notice that after this great bit of wordsmithing for no particular reason, no one has started on a word for eating dinner at 9pm. I dunno about you, but I call it dinner.

• Mick Jagger is undergoing heart valve surgery.
• At his age, with his experience, that's the luckiest heart valve on earth. 
• For each year Mick Ages, it shows twice on Keith.

A Montana school has noted that there is a 'severe lack of women in cybersecurity,' so they're offering a cybersecurity program to high school girls. Noting there's a 300,000 person shortage, the field obviously needs women only. It sounds kind of sexist.

• Proof of God: Tyler Perry is retiring 'Madea', as of this most recent affront movie.

President Trump is eyeing Judge Amy Coney Barrett to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Her appointment will depend on whether she passes the Snore Test.
A cybersecurity researcher at Tenable has discovered multiple security vulnerabilities in Verizon Fios Quantum Gateway Wi-Fi routers that could allow remote attackers to take complete control over the affected routers, exposing every other device connected to it.

• There are ear lifts by the bathroom sink.
• Do ears sag, like breasts? Is there surgery (of course there is - there's surgery for everything)?
• Breasts? I just love saying breasts. 

Dear lefty:

• Why did the sign language interpreter put on gloves?
• she spoke with an accent

You are allowed up to four dead seahorses when entering Australia.

I am here to make your life less difficult.

The next time you complain about your job, remember my buddy, who just took a mandatory course on workplace shootings.

It's Not a Change in Eating: It's Sheer Torture

In my life, I've managed to develop some interesting eating habits.
Suffice it to say, I should probably weigh 400lbs (243 yards Canadian). Fortunately I don't.

Due to some work changes, I don't move around as much.
When I say I don't move around, I mean the walk to the car has gotten shorter. So I've taken precautions: I spin around in my office chair a lot. That's what ladies mean by spin class, right? How they drive after this, I have no idea.

As a result, I'm giving birth to a beer belly, which is a shame, as I don't drink beer. It's like having venereal disease when you don't have sex.

I got some sage advice, from someone who told me they exercise, on eating.  They do spin class too, so all things are equal (except gender, exercise, level of fitness, and tastes in food). I could tell something was different from their reaction when I mentioned Chocolate Frosted Flakes. The sheer disbelief and horror, while absolutely hilarious, was ominous. I could hear that Ominous Music, like when some idiot goes into the dark house in a movie, instead of screaming like a girl and running in the other direction.

The first piece of advice I received was fruit for breakfast.
After they revived me, I worked diligently to apply this new information.
Strike One.
Apparently putting banana slices on my Chocolate Frosted Flakes was not entirely what they had in mind. As if there's a problem with chocolate and bananas. Chocolate is the only way to get bananas in - what do these people want from me?

They also mentioned yogurt.
This was initially confusing, as one can buy yogurt or yoghurt.
It was also sad, as yogurt was a traditional joke and punishment for most of my life. It was something only women ate, although no one has ever determined the reason.

Wife, bless her, dutifully shopped for, and brought home, large amounts of yogurt, having decided to forego yoghurt. After a bit of research, I discovered yoghurt in consumed in Britland, where they pronounce it yog-ert.

With the attention span of an aggravated infant, it's difficult to type this and ignore the tv, which is showing one of those sciency shows, where the host does stuff that would make normal people poop in their pants. This time the host is cabling one of those huge bridges, with a 73.5 ton cable. He likened it to a guitar string (twice), so that pulled me in. The size of the guitar required to use that cable as a string would be roughly the size of New Jersey (except for the sand in your swimsuit.. rug burn doesn't even begin to describe it).

When one goes to the store, one is bowled over with a yogurt section roughly the size of the aforementioned guitar (but without the aforementioned cable strings).    There's everything except High Fat Yogurt. Everything is low fat. This is a problem, as my body will reject anything low fat. Wife knows this, so she did her best to locate High Fat Yogurt, which employees helped her unearth. It wasn't even expired! It had three days left. I happen to know it doesn't ever expire because fat never goes bad. Fruit, however....

I try to be flexible, enjoying at least one type of fruit. Raisins. Covered in chocolate. See a theme here? Ok, grapes too. And strawberries, provided they're in slushies, with sugar and high frustose-containing fruit juice-like substance. Once a year or so, I'll eat a blueberry, just to say I did. I watched a household consisting of a disposable human and four dogs, in which the dogs got a blueberry as a treat.

Yogurt returned, in the form of yogurt smoothies (no ice cream, or even ice!), and actual yogurt, along with the Jamie Lee Curtis Green Stuff. I'm hoping green refers to the package and not the yogurt itself. Maybe that's what yoghurt is. Bloody English.  Wife did exactly what I'd do, and picked up strawberry rhubarb yogurt, because we'll see strawberry and ignore anything that comes after it. Ever eat strawberry light bulb? This package also included lemon. LEMON? LEMON IS FOR TEA AND WATER, not yogurt. Lemon is contravened under the Geneva Convention (like vi and emacs, linux users). Wife seemed confused over my stance on lemon, even after I reminded her of the Lemon Bar Incident. It was too horrible to describe in a family blog. Or this one. The remaining flavor was blueberry. Fortunately it wasn't blueberry lemon. Ever try to return yogurt? Even without pinholes in it?

I am happy to report that my activity levels have gone up, directly in relation to the yogurt! Somebody has to stir the stuff... getting the fruit off the bottom is no small task.

AS it turns out, all of my cereals are off the table, except for Raisin Bran. Why do I eat Raisin Bran if I don't have to? It's my nod to health food. To make things even more healthy, I stopped putting sugar on it, prompting my mentors to instruct me to STOP PUTTING SUGAR ON EVERYTHING. These people are professional fun stoppers (like nuns). They were further unimpressed (ok, horrified) at my sugar snacks. What is a sugar snack? When you go to a restaurant and see those packets of sugar, you open one and eat it. Ok, I'll come clean: I only did it once, when I was little, to watch the expression on my mom's face. It's a wonder she's still alive and mostly present. She probably prefers dementia, so she doesn't have to remember.

As for my beloved Chocolate Frosted Flakes, I don't throw away food, so I will finish the box. And the rest of the case. And the other cases I have on standing order.

It was explained to me that fruit and yogurt (and other stuff I refuse to type, no less eat) are good for breakfast because your body fasts overnight and is more efficient in the morning (unlike us, who aren't even awake til after lunch). Further, bagels were verboten in the morning.. the theory being that you're more active and can burn them off later in the day.

This is where things go entirely to hell.

My activity level does not increase after lunch. In fact, my activity level never increases. I slave over a hot computer for most of the day. I know that staring burns no calories, even if I squint a lot (eyelid aerobics).  It wasn't until recently I discovered I had what's called lazy eye, where the eyelid is apparently droopy or something equally silly. What they completely missed is that lazy eye is only a small part of lazy body.

The changes are bad enough, but all these Diet Geniuses also recommend the E Word. The word is so horrible, it hurts to type it (exercise). I feel about exercise almost as bad as I feel about mowing (I'd rather pull my own teeth out and swap them with my spleen).


Meanwhile, I can tell the new way of eating is making a difference!
My pants feel tighter.


Screw this - I need to go back to my traditional breakfast: candy bars and Coke.

• We haven't had any horrid Faceyspaces news, at least since last post.. it was recently discovered that they're sharing your personal phone number, given as part of Two Factor Authentication or service improvements, to advertisers. Spam calls are already through the roof.  Close. Your. Account.
• Important and sensitive UN data has been found on the web. I'd be outraged, only the UN serves no useful purpose, unless it's paying your salary.

I've stayed away from the Kavanaugh hearings on purpose. Yet another shit show from Divide and Conquer, Inc.  It's the same script too: President announces something, opposing party and 50% of the country find any way possible to object, including throwing whatever possible at it. News coverage is full of the fight because they're told to be.

The same script. Look at the big picture (because you'll be one of few).

If Trump said he was putting measures in place to keep us safe from the black plague, half the country would intentionally become infected with it. It's an absolute circus. 

Mrs lefty tells me things Kavanaugh allegedly said caused one woman to have PTSD. I'm no doctor, but PTSD is something you see in soldiers returning from war and victims of childhood abuse. 

The other countries who don't hate us are laughing hysterically.

We pissed off Canada. The nicest people on the planet. One Canadian friend said if I go to any other country, tell them I'm Canadian, eh.

• It's not that I'm having a bad day, but I'm going to get one of those Teeter tables, hang upside down, and watch tv. It doesn't even bother me that the picture will be upside down... the left handed have special skills.

Congress has approved several cybersecurity bills. This is never a good thing.. it's like me writing a few bills to keep us safe from opera and ballet.

• If you get some sort of offer from someone on Faceyspaces (or anywhere else) to attach a box to your router and earn some money by referring friends, DON'T. If you do, you'll be spreading viruses and will have to change every password and credit card you have.

Overheard on police scanner: Black male, no underwear, no pants, walking toward gas station.

• The whole ThermionicEmissions family sends out best wishes to Dickie Betts, cofounder of the Allman Brothers. After a few minor cardiac events, he tripped on something in his yard and they had to drill holes in his head to relieve the pressure on his brain. I think a groupie hit his head for him.
• Dickie has a special mandate to not be dead, as the original band is shuffling off at a rapid pace: Duane Allman-accident, Berry Oakley-accident, Gregg Allman-cancer, Butch Trucks-suicide. This leaves Dickie-guitar and Jaimo-drums. Marc Quinones-percussion is a member from a while back. Warren Haynes and Duane Trucks (Butch's nephew) are always on tour with Government Mule and the Tedeschi Trucks band.
• The Allman Brothers happen only once. Not in a lifetime.. Once.

I just got an offer to see The Music of Cream 50th Anniversary Tour.

None of us would ever suspect songs touring... especially at 50.

Judging by last name, Ginger Baker and Jack Bruce's kids are in the band, plus another fellow I don't recognize. You can even purchase a VIP package consisting of: a front row ticket, a meet and greet, a little booklet explaining who these people are so you can sound like you have a clue.

Where are they now?  Ginger Baker is my hero. I don't know much about drumming, but old Ginger has managed to alienate every country in which he resided. Usually for drugs.  He is stiff and has to really get in shape before picking up a stick. Eric Clapton is getting arthritis in his hands (hell on earth). Jack Bruce, the smartest of the three, saw this coming and is described, in the words of Roto Reuter, as "dead."

Billy was a mountain.

Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder.

-Billy the Mountain  (Frank Zappa)

Wet T-Shirt Nite

Yes, that's right, the secret phrase for tonight is Wet T-Shirt Nite!

• US casino stocks fell after the Las Vegas incident. No one saw that coming.
• Remember: guns don't kill people - country music does.
• Speaking of guns, gun stocks went up.

A CBS legal executive, Haley Geftman-Gold, stated on Faceyspaces that she had no sympathy for the Las Vegas victims because country music fans are right wing, gun toters. She had no hope that the Repugs would do the right thing. Several hours later, she was without employment. CBS disavowed her statement.

Not to be outdone, Hillary Clinton said this event should not be politicized, then went on to politicize it, going after the NRA.  Lest anyone be confused about gun control, the weapon used by the shooter was an automatic, which is already illegal and difficult to obtain. So much for gun control working.

• RIP Tom Petty. I wasn't a fan but can't deny his impact.
• Tom spent the better part of the day in the hospital after a cardiac arrest. At this point, everyone could agree that he was in the hospital but no one could tell if he was alive or dead. Calling Dr. Schroedinger...
• Tom used to follow me.. not in the creepy paranoid way.. more in the "Oh God, here he is again" kinda way. Like I said, I'm not a fan, but if I got in the car and turned on the radio, there he was. If I went into a department store, his music was playing overhead. It got so bad, as verified by others, that when I'd turn on the tv, he was there too. Fortunately The Petty Effect went away, years ago.

Hey, it's National Cybersecurity Awareness Month!  So go about your business and ignore it.

• They're baaaaaack. Yes, Loud Construction Company is back, after a week's break, working on the neighbor's house. Perhaps they went to a seminar on how to Keep It Loud. It started and continues with the Serious Sledgehammer on Concrete noise. It sounds like it's coming from my front steps.
• Because my nerves are a little off-kilter today, Loud Construction Company isn't going to be alone, no sir. The house phone rang, like an icepick through my ears. At the same moment, my phone rang. While this symphony of ring is happening, I'm listening to Robin Trower on my computer. All of this cacophony is unnerving, like an icepick through my skull, pounded in with a sledgehammer (on concrete).
• While my eyeballs roll around like a slot machine, my wife is talking to me on my phone. We have a special feature activated when I'm trying to talk, called the No Talk Feature. When she's talking, if I attempt to say anything at all, she can't hear me and keeps talking. Sometimes when she's not talking, she still can't hear me. I'm starting to wonder if the No Talk Feature was ordered through our phone company or something she just made up.
• It's the end of my work day and I'm having trouble finishing up two items. I let my coworker know that the two items need attention. He asks which two items. The two items I mentioned, one of which has my bloody name on it. I think we are burdened by speaking the same language, which is generally referred to as English. Perhaps he speaks the Swahili variant of English, wherein he misses every other sentence. Or the Urdu version, where every other word is dropped but still spoken. It doesn't matter if I email him - it's every bit as frustrating in email, but I can shout and bang my head on the floor.

Marshall has had few side effects from his chemotherapy: largely it's lethargy. He went back for bloodwork today, after which they decided to lower his dosage because he shouldn't have side effects (damn him). Aside from dosage, I asked what the blood showed. It won't show anything til they check next week. But didn't they take blood last week? Yes. Didn't they do chemo last week? Yes. Then why didn't they know anything between last week and this week. Well, he has to have chemo first. But he DID have chemo - last week. Yes. But.. but.. but.. there's a reason I don't like the medical field, and it's not just because I tend to pass out when I see blood.

• Remember that 2013 Yahoo email breach that didn't hit all their accounts? They 'revised it upward' so that it now hit all 3 billion email accounts. Math.

A Drexel University professor blames the Las Vegas shooting on 'Trumpism' and white men. Drexel stated that the professor's tweets don't represent the university. Those who can, do. Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, teach gym. Those who can't teach gym, teach at universities. I think I'm going to need a Safe Space now. With soft pillows and a puppy.

My boobies lie over the ocean

My boobies lie over the sea

My boobies lie over the ocean

Bring back my boobies to me

The Day After the Day After

Our friends over at Volvo have stated that hackers are the real problem for self-driving cars. Really? Not crappy code that doesn't take security seriously?

• Trans-species Transvestite Dog: Marshall has recently trained us to respond to his every whim via loud, urgent whining, whether it's needing water or something serious. At roughly 3am, the Marshall Alarm went off again. He was in the corner of the bedroom, with a dress wrapped around his neck. Kinky? Autococker Asphyxiation?

My buddy has had cancer two times. He's now working on number three. He has no sense of taste. While getting chemotherapy, he walks to and from a full time heavy job. He does not utter a syllable of doubt, regret, or upset.. he just goes on.  I need to remember this next time I have a backache...

• Celebgate 3.0: Yes, once again there's been a breach, resulting in photos from the phones of celebrities being leaked. This time it's Miley Cyrus, Stella Maxwell, Kristen Stewart, Tiger Woods, Lindsey Vonn, and Katharine McPhee. This attack starts with phishing. Don't click on stuff, celebrities and real people. Ramp up your security settings. Don't use THE CLOUD. Don't use iDEVICES - this hack was 100% iHACK.
• In the interests of science, we shall attempt to locate the site that published the pictures, so you know what kind of material to avoid putting in THE CLOUD from your iDEVICES.

Are you currently a college student? Did you attend college? I got a queasy feeling while reading this article on your information being available from the college itself. There doesn't seem to be any good reason for the information to be out there but of course there's legislation behind it: The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act. As we know from reading ThermionicEmissions, every piece of legislation works the opposite of its name. Since it says privacy, you have none. There is an opt-out and it's up to you to find it. But wait - it gets better... if medical records are requested, they lose HIPAA protection!

• One hundred percent of government IT workers said employees are the biggest threat to cybersecurity. PEBKAC: Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.

Charles Barkley has been labeled a white supremacist for telling black people to stop killing each other. He sure is going to look funny at the white supremacist rallies.

This will backfire when almost everyone is labeled a white supremacist and white supremacists start getting praised for their inclusiveness.

• It was inevitable.... Starbucks has introduced the Chicken Sushi Burrito.
• Speaking of which, there are now calls for boycotting Starbucks, ESPN, and the NFL. Always ahead of trends, I have been boycotting them for a long time, just because I don't like their products.

Best wishes to affected parts of Texas during the flood. I hope your lives are property are ok.

• US Government Cybersecurity ranks 16th out of 18 industry sectors. This is an improvement over last year, when it ranked 18. Let this be a lesson to you people who say the US is capable of nothing.

Happy birthday to linux Linus Torvalds' baby. Here's an appropriate quote from Mikko Hypponen, of F-Secure: Linux distributions are really lacking in their support for some of the most common Windows software. For example, most malware won't work.

• In the continuing struggle of man's inhumanity to man, I find this most appropriate.

The majority of breaches are caused by unpatched software. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough. My friend's office got hit so badly, it took out the entire system, including years of data. Patch it. And stop clicking on every goddamn link you see.

• Hollywood has rushed to help Houston and it's heartwarming:
• Beyonce: Texas, you are in my prayers
• Kelly Rowland: Houston changed my life- everybody send out prayers for H-town
• Lady Antebellum: thoughts and prayers
• Ellen DeGeneres: the whole country is thinking of you
• Sheryl Crow: you are in my prayers
• Country music singer Chris Young donated $100,000
• let words and actions stand by themselves

Internet of Dings

In an extremely rare event, out government seems to have gotten something right. I know, I know, we're all a little dazed. The Senate Cybersecurity Caucus has introduced a bill that would provide patchable products from vendors selling Internet of Things products to the government. In essence the products must be patchable and updateable or replaceable. This is very important with Internet of Things devices.

Now, if they can only do something about their employees... quite a number of breaches are caused by people inside, clicking on stuff they shouldn't.  When in doubt, don't. It will not hurt to ask someone. Your IT department will thank you for asking.

• I gotcher chip card right here: So these new chip cards that are going to secure our purchases, that have already been hacked, have developed a new wrinkle: vendors who won't accept them. In an absolutely unscientific sampling, a significant number of vendors just plain won't accept them and have no plans to. The chip cards were required to be accepted under law, or a penalty would be assessed. The vendors, balking at the price and extra time it takes consumers to use them, have refused. Instead, they will take the penalty. The first one we discovered was Rite Aid. Can you imagine if you decided not to comply with a law? The Mounties would be at your door so fast it would make dragsters look slow by comparison.

The Amazon Echo has been found to have a number of flaws that would allow a hacker to gain root access. The devices (2015 and 2016 models ending in '01') will allow someone to do whatever they want to the device, without a trace. The flaws were fixed in the 2017 models (ending in '02'). The only solace owners have is that the hacker must have physical access to perform the hack (he must be in your house, at the box). Amazon has no plans to exchange the devices. Don't put this stuff in your house.

• RIP Jim Marrs. Jim defined tenacious journalism. He found a topic and dug, then printed the facts.  He taught a college course on the JFK assassination. His books were on JFK, Remote Viewing, secret societies, and 9-11. The Oliver Stone JFK movie was based upon Jim's work. I highly urge you to pick up some of his books. 

If there is so much as a one millimeter gap between food and me, that's where it's going to fall. It's lefty physics. Don't forget to feed your shirt.

• Marshall moves when required. He watched me walk into the kitchen, keeping a loose eye on the proceedings. I took the bag of turkey lunchmeat, shook it within his field of vision, and he came running. There is a company that makes Pill Treats for dogs. They're little squishy treats with a hole in them for medicine, if your dog won't take meds any other way. This is American Genius at work. Unfortunately we're dealing with Dog Genius: he enjoyed this twice, then stopped entirely. We now hide the meds in the treat, then wrap it in turkey. He likes that. For how long is anybody's guess.

I have discovered the best way to rip a paper towel off the roll, while simultaneously shredding it.. pull it at the perforation.

• My Dementia Page has been updated (you see the button up top). In a move that no one could see coming, defying all logic, the facility is discharging the patient because she's too functional. Incredulously pissed does not even begin to describe how I feel.

Much to my dismay there is an Emoji Movie. The nephews went to see it the other day. Asked to rate the movie with emojis, the little one didn't miss a beat and said, "Poop." Runs in the family.

In Amateur Radio, the Teacher is Called An Elmer

'Hackable' Apple watches have been banned from British government cabinet meetings out of caution against attacks.  You know me - I'd just ban them because they're Apple. But seriously folks, this is a pretty good move because most of what we carry is hackable. Just wait til they start hacking your e-belt. Your pants will fall right down.

• a German nuclear plant got cyber-attacked a little while back, it was just confirmed. Let me first say I TOLD YOU SO. With that out of the way, it's mot like poor cyber security at nuclear and utility plants is a surprise. They are sitting ducks. It's probable that there are others, yet unreported. Ancient programs with little to no security are a recipe for disaster. When the next one hits, it's going to come as another 'surprise'. Yes. there has to be people working on this, but still... this is a nuke plant. Think about it.

Largely unreported in the Wikileaks fiasco are the emails from John Podesta, the press secretary 'UFO Disclosure' guy. He was having conversations with Edgar Mitchell, the sixth man on the Moon, on the extraterrestrails that are here now. Apparently the guitar player from Blink 182, Tom DeLonge, quit the band to further his interest in disclosure. He was also a correspondant. I smell something but don't know what it is yet. I don't think he's high enough in the power structure to be cleared for this type of information (unless he knows tiny pieces of it, independent of the compartmented group that holds the real info). Never mind Hillary and the DNC, this is BIG.

• Reminder to cover your laptop's camera with tape or something. Also its mic. A popular website ran an article on which tape is best. Nothing like parody.

Free, encrypted text app Signal, which I have mentioned here and run enthusiastically, now has a disappearing message function. Download it from your app store. Costs nothing, gives great security, and your info is not collected. Replaces your default text program with no issues.

• In case you missed the announcement, Faceyspaces, Twitter and Instagram shared data with a social media surveillance startup. Your data. The startup then sold your data to law enforcement. The ACLU discovered this via a Freedom of Information request. Your data. UPDATE: Faceyspaces, Twitter and Instagram have cut off the flow of information out of concern for your privacy because they got caught.

Reminder: watch out for the clowns. WTF is going on with clowns? There was an initial rumor that it was viral marketing for a movie. I'm thinking no, as it has crossed borders and featured clowns with chainsaws and machetes. Clowns are the new Zombies, apparently. Localities have requested that no one dress as a clown for Halloween. It will be pretty funny/sad when someone dresses as a clown for Halloween anyway. Ronald McDonald has been ordered to take a break (no, really). Not because of the food, mind you - just the clown bit.

• So Malia Obama has been photographed shaking her ass and smoking a joint. A joint? She's a real chip off the old block. No matter how much I don't like her father, I believe his children are off-limits (unless they commit a serious crime and a joint ain't it). It does say interesting stuff about his continuation of the War on Drugs. Having seen the pictures, Malia is growing into a very attractive woman.

A British fella got one of those wifi teakettles and spent ten hours trying to get some tea out of it. If he's having this much trouble with it now, wait til it gets hacked.

• Earlier this week was National Coming Out Day. I'd like to take this opportunity to come out to you, faithful readers, and declare that I'm.... heterosexual. I know it's not popular these days, but I have to be who I am. Oh yeah, I'm also a chocoholic. If anyone would like to use this forum to declare whatever it is that you are, please go ahead.

There is now an internet for dogs. I am not kidding. While I don't have the URL yet, rest assured it exists. It probably has something to do with dispending treats. I'll show Marshall but knowing him, he already discovered it and has emptied the treat dispenser.

• People in England can now be prosecuted for offensive social media posts. Orwell is spinning.

Bob Dylan just won the Nobel Prize for Literature. It only took 90 years, or however old he is. Runners-up include Robert Plant, Kanye West, Nickleback, and the guys who write all those reality shows.

• The Xinhua network just deleted the tweet announcing the death of Thailand's king. Was his death a publicity stunt? A practical joke? Did someone have trouble distinguishing alive from dead?

Samsung has offered Note 7 owners $100 to buy another Samsung. Well, $100 and a fire extinguisher. I wonder how many people are going to take advantage of this spectacular deal. Personally I'd hold out for $500 and a personal fireman. Better yet, a firewoman.

• In case you're leaving your cyber-security to the security folks at work (and home), know that human error is the major cause of data breaches.

October is National Cyber Security Awareness Month. Let's celebrate vigoriously, by using default passwords or 'password1'. Drink before you surf. Read these stupid blog posts. Plug your house into the internet. Speaking of which, Akamai, a major content provider, reveals that hackers are abusing a known weakness to commandeer millions of connected devices and use them to mount internet attacks on third parties. This means that your house monitor can potentially be used to attack the White House. When those nice folks at the FBI come knocking, offer them coffee. Good coffee - not that Donut Shop stuff.

• We may not be ready for this but in an official joint statement from the Department of Homeland Security and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence on Election Security, recent political breaches have been attributed to the Kremlin (a small shack on a near-deserted island in the Mediterranen Sea). 
• When reached for comment, the Kremlin asked if who did it was that important. The main point is the manipulation of public opinion.
• On the surface, this is very important and horrific. Another level down we have to ask Who Benefits. Well, the Office of the Director of National Intelligence on Election Security is a brand new bloated government entity, which should probably be looking inward. The DNC has been blaming the Russians since the hack, then tying it to Trump, who they claim is in cahoots with Putin. Yeah, they're good fishin' and huntin' buddies, so this reinforces the narrative. But the manipulation of public opinion.... think about it and decide for yourself.

Alleged pro-Trump hackerd have defaced the Clinton Wikipedia page, stating that if you vote for her, it's a vote for nuclear annhilation. And pornogrpahic images were supplied. Sadly, this has already been cleaned up - we love our porn - defacement.

This shit is deep. Time for some relief....