Voluntary Captivity

If you're bored and happen to have an Alexa, Siri, or Google Assistant hanging around, here are 1,000 phrases that 'false trigger' them...


The US has purchased the world stock of Flying AIDS drug Remdesivir.
Little is known about the drug, which may or may not treat the Flying AIDS, on several days of the week, but at least we own it all now, nyah nyah.


According to the Detroit police chief, facial recognition software misidentified 96% of the time, which is "good enough for us."


Happy 4th to everyone!
People died so you would have social media. Thank them.




Don't forget about your unconscious bias.
You know... the bias you have against certain groups, of which you're not aware.

A recent study revealed that 95% of people had an unconscious bias against people pointing guns at them. The Union to Destroy Unconscious Bias said this was unconscionable and would work diligently to remove this stigma on people who just happen to be carrying weapons. The Union further said this is a particularly nasty bias if the weapon-holder is black. They suggest that if you encounter a black person pointing a gun at you, you should give him everything you have, even taking him to your house and giving him everything you have there too, to atone for your unconscious bias, white guilt, and the lack of reparations. Perhaps if you admit your bias and give up all your worldly possessions, the person with the gun won't shoot you. You must understand their struggle.

The Anti Defamation League is revving its engines, figuring out how to get in on the Guilt Thing.  They have seen what black people are able to accomplish and believe they can rise to the occasion, after the black people are done, and take advantage of Guilt. What the ADL is not counting on is Guilt Fatigue. This is when the crackers give and give and give, so they have nothing else. They're not interested in hearing more guilt: the black people have worn them out.


I need all my readers to get on this: visitors to national parks are still over 70% white. We cannot let this go unanswered.



I was bored, so I thought I'd go out surfing to find some new stuff.
I finally found the solution to all net boredom: find the lists of sites to be blocked for children and visit the sites it recommends. There are porn new sites I never heard of!



Hillary Clinton mourns the upcoming suicide of Ghislane Maxwell, associate of Jeffrey Epstein.




GUITAR CONTENT

So, that Tech 21 Fly Rig from ebay..... it had a little trouble, in the form of motorboating or oscillating. Whenever I turned the gain up, the thing started making noises. At one point, it was so bad, the box seemed to have a built in tremolo. It was a pretty cool box, when it wasn't motorboating. It had 2 preamp sections, Tech 21 and Plexi. Tech 21 sounded like any old tube amp, but with a master volume. Plexi sounded a little like a Marshall, plus it had a boost on a separate switch. It had delay and reverb, but the reverb was only available with the Tech 21 setting, which I found odd.

Since the rest of the Fly Rigs are pretty expensive, I'm looking around for something else. Doug Aldrich has a signature distortion pedal out for about $100, that seems to do everything from light boost to distortion. I'm leaning this way. There are over 14 billion different overdrive/distortion pedals. If you don't believe me, check ebay. Some are just rebranded, like Mooer and all the rest. Just in case you're asking, a $90 Mooer is not going to sound just like a $400 whatever it's attempting to be, but it can get close. Your best bet is to head to YouTube to listen for a demo. That Pedal Show is really good. Their Dumble shootout was very interesting.



ROME — Pope Francis told members of the Catholic Press Association Tuesday that the media should build bridges, defend life, and help people, especially the young, “to distinguish good from evil.”  Because we're very busy molesting little boys.

You've Got A Nice Angina

Welcome, folks.
We're at this precarious balance between Captivity and Running Around, so we're not ruling anything out. The Venutians could land tomorrow and it would all be off, knowwhatImean?

Restaurants are allowing indoor seating! (but you have to wear a mask)
Malls are welcoming customers, but you have to wear a thong.
You can get a haircut, but you have to go naked. Know those little hairs that cause so much grief? It will not work out well.


I itch like a mf-er.
This is not normal.
After inspection, it appears I got eaten up by something of the insectual variety.
Notice Mrs lefty isn't eating me up and causing bumps.  Ok, this might not be good.



The Uber PC Crowd Follies continues, this time in even weirder ways.

1. Advertisers are pulling out of Faceyspaces. Led by a left wing hate group, the Anti Defamation League, its demands are hiring a “C-suite level executive with civil rights expertise to evaluate products and policies for discrimination, bias, and hate.” Now let's see.... a completely unrelated entity is telling huge corporations who to hire. Perfectly reasonable. Upside Down World continues, but gets weirder. I can't stand Faceyspaces, but I have to side with them... they're a private corporation - they don't need to bow to the agitators. I saw a video where people were talking about aliens, and the ADL referred to that as antisemitic.
2. Reddit, one of the ugliest and nicest places on the net just purged over 2,000 subreddits, including The_Donald. Reddit started as a free speech outlet, then started whittling away what they didn't like, claiming to retain the free speech title. I haven't seen the list of what got sent packing, but I never visited The_Donald. Why would I? If I had the keys to Reddit, I'd keep it open, in the spirit of free speech, and because I used to hold Reddit up as a bastion of free speech.
3. As it has been, the only truly free place to speak is Gab.

Speaking of Gab, their Visa payment processor dropped them, for 'hate speech.'

This is not new or surprising. What is surprising is that Andrew Torba, Gab's CEO, is blacklisted by Visa, as is his wife. Neither of them will be able to do business with Visa. It might go even further.... 

'Stop using our pain to attract black consumers'

I'm laughing... not at anyone's pain, but at the fact that almost everyone has a Black Lives Matter bit in their ads. Even Guitar Center.

Gucci owner Kering will have a new person on board, to try to reduce its environmental impact. Yes, no greater an environmental champion than Emma Watson has joined the board. Who knew playing Hermione had the built in benefit of conferring Environmental Impact Specialist upon the broom-rider.

Go ahead and laugh, but next week I start as a Good Taste Consultant with the Metropolitan Ballet.

In a tweet that was later deleted, rapper Gucci Mane (Susan Smith) called his label 'polite racist.'  He's just posturing for a date with Hermione.  See how I strung that together? Imma call myself Fender Pate.

The president says he's heard some interesting things about Roswell, but he's not sharing, even with his eldest child. What he tells his children is his choice, but I hereby demand he tell the American public, who are overdue for an explanation. I'd bet Trump knows something - he's somewhat incapable of keeping his mouth shut.

33,000 Floridians may have incorrect results from their Flying AIDS tests.

This entire pandemic is a shit show and nobody has any idea what they're doing. By design?

Joe Biden said he would make masks required in public if he were president.

He would also make half the people wear those whirligig hats, and the other half wear the ones with the arrow through them. 

As all good people must, I went to the dentist the other day.

The place looked like Fly by Night Dentistry. The voices were telling me "RUN RUN!" but it took so much to get me to a doctor in the first place, I stuck it out.

As you'd expect, I caused a ruckus when I wouldn't let them copy my license. Three members of their staff spoke to me on this Heavy Matter<tm>, finally deciding that the ugly face on the license matched the ugly face in the chair, so I was me. This came as both relief and horror to Mrs lefty: she'd prefer that I were someone else. Anyone else.

As per prophecy, the office was a regular UN, with America, China, and Ukraine in attendance, at very least. And the gay guy. The gay guy did not like me, which is just fine - I don't need acquaintances that sneer behind my back at me. The Ukrainian tech made most of my cells do a little dance. The way I saw it, there were few obstacles between us: my wife, her fiancee, and my looks. And of course there was the stereotypical black girl with the attitude and large posterior. After drawing up a lesson plan, with costs, insurance payments, and copayments, they turned me loose. The did not perform a single Dental Thing - they just let me go. They told me my copayment for the next visit, but I noticed they never told me the total - they just sent me home with the estimate. This might have had something to do with the 4 figure total for copays. I already put the vet's kids through school, I'm not doing it for the dentist too.

I noticed that nobody looked like my former dentist, Dr Mengele, so I'm hoping for better results. Either his work was subpar or I've been in there, pulling stuff out and messing around. It took all I had to get me to the dentist. Now I'm going to have to do it again. This plan is not what the environment people would call sustainable.  They might have to get a trebuchet and launch me through the front window.

RIP Carl Reiner (98) 

A funny funny man.