Coffee Flavored Carpet

 As with anything coming from China, the recent Moon trip to collect rocks is not what it seems. While China did collect the rocks, they did so by hacking NASA and walking in the front door, relieving themselves of a long, drawn out, difficult Moon mission. 

There are early reports that the International Space Station has been hacked, possibly through Windows. The ISS has been ordering Chinese takeout for a week, despite GrubHub's insistence they do not deliver off-planet. None of the astronauts are aware of the orders, but claimed they'd go as far as shooting down anyone's satellite for 1 slice of pizza.

In other news, Russian hackers hit the US Nuclear Agency. They plan to gain control of it so they can bomb themselves.

Your love is like the sudden stop when driving your car off a bridge

• A new childs' book, in the tradition of Where's Waldo, challenges children to figure out what was wrong with Roald Dahl's parents.

As the result of a child at a school board meeting, Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, gave children a snow day. The idea is so completely goofy, it will be moments before colleges and universities go on strike, demanding their own snow day. Because colleges do not emphasize math, or common sense, the strike days will far outnumber a snow day.

Earlier this week, a team of researchers announced that they successfully teleported qubits of photons across approximately 27 miles of fiber-optic cable. 

We know I'm no quantum physicist, but isn't the idea that 2 bits are connected through space at any distance? Perhaps I should take up reading, instead of the socially significant hobby of putting this blog out.

Today I identify as  a high quality 250k potentiometer in a Fender Stratocaster - none of this offshore miniature crap.

In the continued march of Science, biomarker of Alzheimer's found to be regulated by sleep cycles. 

Uh-oh 

In 2020 alone, Alzheimer's was found to be affected by:

• aluminum
• sleep cycles
• sense of humor
• sarcasm
• thickness of nasal hair
• how large a person you'll insult
• the amount of Scientific Drinking done by the researchers

In January, the WHO will be in China to probe the origins of the Flying AIDS.

China has announced that the WHO did not find anything indicating the virus originated there.

• Militants released hundreds of kidnapped children in Nigeria, after realizing they only kidnapped the boys. Vatican signals interest in the case.

A new 1Password survey on password use and online security in family life finds more than half (51%) of parents who work from home (WFH) say their children have accessed their work accounts.

It's not that we will never learn, it's that we actively refuse to learn. 

• The Government Accounting Office today looked around, cried, and went home.

Somebody recommended a podcast and I went to listen.

Nowhere on the page was a warning that the 'caster is a SCOT.

Podcasts, unlike tv, do not come with closed captioning.

Penny came from Florida and had never seen snow til 2 years ago.

Like us, she's not all that fond of it, kind of hopping up and down to get through it. I'm not positive but I think I heard her on the computer last night, looking up plane fares to Florida.

• Cellphone data suggests Bay Area not as compliant with new shutdown as it was in the spring
• aw shucks, you don't even have to volunteer to be tracked.... at this point, you might as well turn your phone off when you leave the house.
• Also, the DHS is working on facial recognition with masks. Perhaps we should start wearing masks with mustaches and glasses. There were volunteers for this testing....

Guitar Center has come to its alleged senses and only sends me 2 emails every day. There is no more begging, very few 29% off emails, and they're not stalking me anymore (I hope). I'm sure that van that says Electruck Compinny is completely legit. In fact, tonight I'll test the theory by running a 400v banana up its tailpipe.

Ya know, I haven't said anything about UFOs for a while.

For your reading enjoyment, I will continue not to.

Other than it's the 40th anniversary of Rendlesham, in England, at a military base. One of the best cases documented.

That is all.

Illegal winery busted at Alabama sewage plant

Y'all got maw of that Summer Yellow blend?

I sho am fond of that there Alabama Brown.

Hey, this red has a bicycle in it!

What's in the Mystery Box?

Another oft-forgotten part of the Not Getting Things You Ordered is the unspoken amount of time it takes to put the item in a box and ship it out. I just got notice that the item I ordered has just shipped. The item I ordered last week. So it took 7 days to physically pick up the item, put it in any old small box, put a label on it, and wait for the pickup guy? I see you overcame all obstacles to accepting my payment.

Was there an indian attack? Did a ring of fire set by satanists prevent you from getting close? Near-fatal hangnail? Was the USPS guy in the hospital from too much meth? Aliens extracting bodily fluids? North Korea call you names? 7 days to stuff the whole t-shirt into that little envelope? Biker gang? Chinese New Year? I know - the Russians hacked into your computer, delaying only my transaction.

My feedback on sellers is going to be very interesting this month.

I bought a really cool guitar pedal. This is the package that showed up 2 days past its guaranteed arrival date. Everything was in order, there was a cute little instruction manual, which I tossed aside, and I played with the pedal. It was largely self-explanatory. Just for fun, I got out the manual to see if I missed anything, and wasn't I surprised - it was a catalog. How was I supposed to know there were switches inside the pedal and maybe what they were for? I'm a guitar player - we're stereotypically dumb, so we need all the help we can get. That's why they call them hidden features - they're hidden from the user.

Flying AIDS Hits Home? 

My mom's health aide just let her know that her dad was diagnosed with the Flying AIDS. My mom's idiot doctor said not to get her tested unless she shows any symptoms. So aside from being down 1 health aide and being exposed to the Flying AIDS, it's been a quiet week.

The FDA is investigating allergic reactions to the vaccine, reported in 5 states.

“I think we have at this point the right ... mitigation strategy with the availability of treatment for a severe allergic reaction being at the ready, and we’ll continue to monitor it very closely,” he added.

The CDC is investigating the FDA's investigation and Pfizer said there will be no official statement until they figure out what the FDA meant by that.

At a hospital in Chicago, vaccines on staff were halted after tingling and elevated heart rate. The 4 staff members are out of ICU and their families have stopped making funeral arrangements, so vaccines will resume Sunday.

The Equal Opportunity Commission said employers can require employees to get the shot or not be allowed to enter the workplace. The US Geological Agency said that employees cannot be fired for refusing to get the shot. The IRS said if they pass out from the shot, they can have 30 minutes off.

Panama's health minister ordered men and women to shop on different days to curb the spread of the Flying AIDS. The minister explained that when men and women shop, their hormones go crazy, and all of the sudden, they're having sex in the aisles, spreading the virus. 30 minutes after his announcement, the minister promised never to make announcements after margaritas.

The Chinese Are Bugging my Instant Noodles

Your love is like  3 broken kneecaps


The Russian election interference continues. I think they're under the bed.
I keep inviting them up, but they keep pretending they're not there.


Dear lefty

• Why do people keep pretending they don't watch pr0n?
• because of a lifetime of being told 'that's dirty'  
• That's all you got?
• and because your mother sniffed glue through her pregnancies.

Mrs lefty just got home from shopping.

Or rather, the ambulance carried her in.

The line at CostCo was out the door, even before social distancing. It's almost like their management didn't expect people to be shopping. The stinky old ladies gave her an idea: farting, to enforce distancing. See why I married her?

We learned very early that I cannot accompany her. In a stunning gender turnabout, she would do her Shopping Business, while I would wander around, comparing chainsaws, tires, and computers [TIP: they don't compare]. 

We also learned very early that the courts do not take kindly to running down old ladies with your cart. Mind you, the police were very understanding, and admitted they did it themselves, but they had to take her in. This was more my idea anyway. Hey, we can all get along together, in peace and harmony, until you leave your cart in everyone's way, then wander off to look at something. It's the unspoken rules of civilization (they only have civilisation at CostCo UK). Then there's the people who reach in front of you. I find that biting their hands dissuades them, but you have to keep biting each new person.

Then there are the talkers. These people piss everyone off. They are on their phone, naturally (because this is a store), talking as loudly as humanly possible. You can hear them across the store, and we all know CostCo is 4 miles long on each side. If they talk loudly near me, I participate in their conversations. YES. OH, THAT's NICE. DID HE REALLY? A POUND OF KANGAROO EGGS? Either they get the message, or call Security (mostly Security). Sometimes I walk behind them as they shout into their device that can 'hear' the cockroaches that crawl all over the phone at night, while they're sleeping. 

You know me - I have the patience of an infant, along with some of its behavior. The last time I went, the lines were ridiculous and I wasn't of a mood to stand there. So I did what the adults told me; I used my words. I'M NOT STANDING IN THOSE LINES. I'D SOONER LEAVE THE CART HERE AND GO HOME. The adults were right - they opened a lane immediately. Ever since, there's a loud siren that goes off whenever I enter. I suspect a custom lefty detector.

Since it's 90 degrees outside, it's a great time to shop for winter coats at CostCo. I thought this was just a Store Thing, but CostCo is really out there. In 90 degree temperatures, your air conditioner  or fan is going to break. When it does, you better not go to CostCo, unless you want to replace them with space heaters. At one point I was told they have some nice couches. When we went to look at them, being a champion of the obvious, I noticed they weren't there. Perhaps we were shopping out of Couch Season. Unfortunately, nobody told us when Couch Season is. She suggests we can order online. Oh, sure, let's order furniture we've never really seen or sat upon - that sounds like a good idea. When we're done, we can order a car we've never sat in or driven; perhaps some potentially poisonous seafood we've never tasted. Welcome to Backwards Shopping World<tm>, where even the women can't figure it out.

If I'm particularly aggravated or bored, I ask one of the Cheerful Salespersons where the plastic explosives are. Their days are so mundane, I'm doing them a favor by introducing a little spark, so to speak. The real pains in the ass are the demo ladies, who stand there, cooking things, that customers shove down their throats because it's free. Some have dinner there. Ok, it's not their fault - again, it's the rude customers. I don't care if they're choking on their Deep Fried Grease Bits - stay out of the lanes of travel. It's a simple matter of respect and convention. Someone will eventually jump up behind them, put their arms around them, and yank. Someone might even try the Heimlick Maneuver. Meanwhile, the rest of the shoppers can finish up their list, provided they finally found that little black thing that goes in the toilet... not the bowl - inside the tank. Near the bottom. You know what I'm talking about, right?  [sound of explosion]

• The FDA wants you to know NOT to drink the hand sanitizer, even if it's sold in what looks like a beer can.
• Don't forget - these people can mail in their vote...

Impressive: you got a Tesla

Embarrassing: you hit a car
Dumb Shit: it was a police car

Seriously?: you were watching a movie

This is only going to get better  

RNC 2020: Trump warns Biden will 'demolish' American dream.

That's not fair.. he won't demolish it, so much as take away its guns and tax it to death. Let's be accurate: the American dream was gone long before we were born: Trump merely made things more amusing.

BeagleBoyz: 2020's hottest country-rap band... HOLD IT. Doesn't anyone see anything wrong with this?

I'm gonna hit the store
and I'm ridin in my truck
It's rainin outside
but I don't give a .... damn


You want protest? I'll give you protest.
All the sports teams that are on strike?
Their fans should go on strike. No games (when they start), no tv, no official merchandise, and perhaps a little reproducing without the express written consent of the NFL. 

I am not shilling, nor do I get so much as a free straw, but iced mocha coffee and frozen hot chocolate make my day (Dunkin). They shortened their name to Dunkin, because people might not be able to deal with the complexity of Dunkin Donuts.

Let's all raise a sympathetic paw to Penny, whose mommy is visiting folks for a few days. The poor dog will spend a day or three sitting alone, looking out the window for her mommy. Even though I'm home. She'll eventually sit near me and will sleep with me, but only because the room is cool. Meanwhile I need a babysitter to keep me attentive and busy while Penny's mommy is gone. Sandra Bullock isn't busy, as the film industry has shut down, nor is Linda Fiorentino, nor is the lady who owns our personal pizza place, none of which would entertain babysitting me. I think.

For new readers, you know that when the president is unable to fulfill the duties of his office, the vice president takes over. I figure that when the wife is unable to fulfill the duties of her office, the vice wife should take over. Strangely, this concept is not popular with the wife. She said she wants a vice husband. I agreed - I don't always fulfill my duties, like mowing the lawn. She could have the vice husband do it. I can fulfill all the other duties just fine.

UPDATE: Mrs lefty felt so much Catho-Jewish semi-Armenian guilt about leaving her doggie, she's cutting her visit short. She doesn't want her child to suffer anymore; sitting, looking out the window. You will notice there is no such concern about her husband...



Mrs lefty is not always gud wit words, so I fix her when I can.
I explained that a baklavah is what you wear to peacefully burn cars, and a balaclava is eaten for dessert. She's lucky to have me.



I've about had it with searching for things on shopping sites.
Today on Amazon, I searched for "MI Audio Super Crunch Box" (a guitar pedal). I got returns for UNBLOCK PROS, SUPERBOX theater bundle, 6 zone speaker selector, take out food containers, fast food takeout menu book, a Beavis and Butthead book, and Pussy Natural Energy Drink. I believe in honesty: if you don't have it, go ahead and tell me. Besides, I didn't know pussy had an energy drink.

Furthermore, it's very difficult to get a left handed Bluetooth mouse. Yes, there are left handed mice, but most mice have this ridiculous RF wireless that requires a tiny receiver, plugged into a USB port. Naturally, when I search, I get only right handed, few Bluetooth mice. Suck my algorithm, Amazon.

I highly recommend the Microsoft (no, really) ergonomic keyboard and the mice that you operate as if you're shaking hands.

SJW Sleeze 

• Princess Diana statue to be installed to mark her 60th birthday
• the next day, BLM will tear it down, citing racism 

JK Rowling said she is giving back an award associated with the US Kennedy family, after being criticised for her views on gender and trans issues. Harry Potter puts a spell on award that makes it keep reappearing at Rowling's mansion.

BLM pushes Japan to confront racism (not that this group is spreading faster than the Flying AIDS).

Peaceful protesters in Sacramento, dressed in black, faces covered, smashed windows and destroyed buildings the other night. We never thought we'd see the day that peace spread throughout America.

There is a relatively new newslady on the news here. She's kinda pretty, with long, straight black hair. One day she appeared with a style that can best be described as Poodle. The next day it was straight again. We both looked at the tv, with that 'you did WHAT?' grimace. She just announced she'll be keeping the Poodle, to show her black roots. In addition, I just announced that I'm going to shave one side of my head and appear shirtless, to show my ugly slob roots. Ugly Slobs Matter!

Pickle Green Houses

If you're feeling down because you've run out of toxic substances to ingest to kill the Flying AIDS, not to worry; the Food and Drug Administration is finding methanol (poisonous) in many hand sanitizers. That's a real load off my mind.



Your love is like a pickaxe to the eye.


States are running out of doctors and nurses as the Flying AIDS surges.
Well, what do you expect? They're so damn tasty.


Trumpie is after social media sites for anti-conservative bias and has submitted his complaint to the FCC. The FCC's tentative response is, "Huh? WTF you want us to do? We're only here to give away frequency spectrum to large corporations and industries."

Sorry, Donald. Although even infants can see the anti-conservative bias, you can't regulate the speech of private entities. You'd do better to go after whatever is pushing all social media to display the bias (but we can't have that).

Speaking of which, Twitter suspended Trump, Jr for 'misinformation'. If science hasn't figured the Flying AIDS out yet, how can his speech be misinformation? I smell agenda....


Virgin Galactic is going to launch people into space. Unfortunately, it will also bring them back. Some of us can save the outrageous cost because we're already out there.



Medical Science Does it Again

Researchers at the University of York traced the source of underarm odor to a particular enzyme in a certain microbe that lives in the human armpit.  Microbes? In my armpits? If they transfer the microbe to your nose, your nose will smell.


Two theoretical physicists specializing in complex systems conclude that global deforestation due to human activities is on track to trigger the "irreversible collapse" of human civilization within the next two to four decades.   Guys... you don't need a serious degree or even much school to see this coming. Have you read Twitter or Faceyspaces lately? Been in Seattle? That ship has sailed.

I'm watching my British tv again. There was a commercial for ice cream that references Cornish something or other. I know there are a ton of accents, Scottish and Wales-ish are among the most difficult to understand. But this commercial had 3 people saying 'things', then the name of the ice cream. I got the name, but the rest was an absolute blob. The mind wants to classify things, but there was no reference for this- it was just a jumbled mess. I suggested we talk to some professorial type expert in ancient languages, only found on pillars and pottery, perhaps pre-Egyptian, where everybody had pointed heads and men wore eye shadow, like Spock.

Scientists Pull Living Microbes, Possibly 100 Million Years Old, From Beneath the Sea.  Scientists named them McConnell-Pelosius.

A guitar I have been considering just dropped in price.

Is this a sign or what?

I told Mrs lefty that I just saved her hundreds of dollars. She remains unimpressed and suggested something anatomically impossible.

So about the Amazon/Goog devices you put in your house to spy on you?

A scientific paper is about to be released, which details a frightening amount of skills/actions without a privacy policy.  I'm going to keep banging away at this (because it feels so good when the pain stops).

Told You So

You're gonna be shocked... the goog is being sued for collecting your private information in Chrome, even though you opted not to. As Chrome is the #1 browser, you should really drop it.

If you're on Twitter, Kaspersky has settings for maximum privacy.

I'd avoid the suggestion about low value tweets, though. You don't need Twitter's 'help' plus you can blacklist anything you don't like.

I got caught in a YouTube rabbit hole. The best thing I found is this one, a mashup of guys reacting to Stevie Ray Vaughan.  There's hope for us yet.

I learned stuff today.
Well, not so much learned, as reinforced. My front doorknob was so hot, you could fry a hippopotamus on it. As I was taking trash out, a hedge trimmer fell on my foot. I know, I know... you can't swing a dead Ford without hedge trimmers falling on you, so why complain?  On the positive side, I don't believe Idiot Governor or Idiot Mayor require masks to take out the trash.

So what got reinforced? Don't leave the house.

If you think your job is tough, my employer put together a committee to figure out how to make the icons the same color in every department.

Fishing for Washing Machines

Many thanks to my non-US visitors. There are a lot of countries represented, although I can't imagine this blog translating to anything or anywhere else.

Also thanks to US visitors for our second 4500+ visitor days.
Something in the counter for this blog is on acid, but I'm not complaining. I shouldn't have killed the ads.



The Goog is in trouble. Read the article for only minor horrors about how the Fair and Balanced search engine works, and how many fingers are on the results you see. Yet another reason to use Duckduckgo. You can tell goog is important because they've already lied to Congress.


So long as we're talking about my favorite megacorporations, Apple banned all 181 vaping-related apps from their store, over concern about the possible health impacts of vaping. Cigarettes, anyone?

Since the next story caused too much of a headache to research, I figured why not vaping? Why not vaping indeed. I don't understand this concept, specifically why one needs an app for it. You appear to stick something in your mouth and inhale - why does this require an app?  So I checked... the first few search results were from vaping organizations(!), so I looked. The reviews were for top 5 vaping apps. One was "basically a Faceyspaces for vapers". Another was a calculator (because vaping affects your ability to spell). It shows Stuff About Coils, voltage, and how many cancerous additives to use. E-liquid recipes? Wow, a cookbook for your lungs! There's even an app that allows you to wish for and select the type of cancer you might get!

The best was an app that calculates how many ciggies you have not smoked since you 'quit' and how much money you've saved. The review doesn't mention whether it adds the cost of vaping in there anywhere, since you didn't quit, so much as change the Nicotine Delivery System<tm>.

I checked with my in-house expert, who looked at me quizically, and said she had no idea why one would need an app. You just stick it in your mouth and breathe (until you can't breathe anymore).

But wait!!! A brand-specific app allows you connect the device via BlueTooth, so you can "explore new capabilities".  Try that with your generic old cancer stick.

The greatest thing about vaping can never be controlled.. it's Smug. Yes, Smug: the feeling you get when you quit smoking cigarettes. People 'quit', then walk around with these things in their mouth. Some walk around with these things in their mouth for the rest of their lives, and boast that they've quit cigarettes. Umm... it's supposed to be a step-down program, not an Alternate Delivery System.

The FDA, which is Very Concerned about this, has banned flavored vaping, so as not to appeal to children. Vaping manufacturers have taken Great Offense at the insinuation they're marketing to children, and insist that Lungy, the single-lunged camel, and the YooHoo, Coke, bubblegum, and chocolate flavors are just great sellers.

ThermionicEmissions is aware that nicotine is more addictive than crack and it's borderline impossible to quit.

• I've been thinking of redesigning the blog, or at very least, making ThermionicMalware less incredibly ugly.
• I could use some input, so let's do this: if you like the way this blog looks, do nothing. If you think it should be changed, do nothing.
• If you appreciate the amazing ugliness of the other blog, do nothing. If you desperately desire a redesign so the Geneva Convention doesn't prohibit looking at it, do nothing.
• I looked back at the beginning of the blog and noticed a semi-active comments section. Drag your friends here and start commenting!

Physicists capture first footage of quantum knots unraveling in superfluid.
Yes, Superfluid - the Liquid Crimefighter! Disguised as a puddle with a teeny tiny cape, it's Superfluid. Wetter than water! Stronger than Regularfluid! Able to leap tall glasses of chocolate milk in a single bound... it's Superfluid!*

*I love me some quantum physics, but this is so far down in the dust, I can't make sense of it. People who understand it will probably be ok with the article. The footage captured was of a quantum knot, decaying into a spin vortex. Got it?

A quantum knot is what happens when you pull your shoelace to untie it. It never unties smoothly and you wind up with a quantum knot: the kind it takes 10 minutes and a woman to remove.

Also included was a picture of the equipment used to generate quantum gas (read the damn article). Blogspot will not allow me to include a picture of what generates quantum gas where this blog is typed. Why am I still using Tiny Font?




Dear lefty

• Why aren't HD cameras working out in cars as crash cams?
• Because drivers turn them around and take selfies.

Ever have one of those days? Of course you did.
My situation strings together a lot of those days, after which I type them here for your entertainment. This morning I was jolted awake by the light being on. It was the light Mrs lefty turned on, as she pointed to the small lake in the middle of the bed. Logically speaking, one of us had put it there. Since it wasn't me, that left 2. Since Penny hasn't peed in the house since right after we got her, that left 1. And the 1 was Penny. She probably has a UTI, as she never fails to alert us, sometimes by walking on our sleeping heads, that she has to go outside.

We bought this bed almost new, and have already caused more damage than it got since it was put together.  My father gave me his very worn but reliable car, which sprouted a dent the first week I drove it to work. Then it started overheating. The cherry on top was when the tree limb from hell fell on it, smashing the rear window and various body bits. Mind you, none of this was my fault, unless you call owning it my fault.

My grandparents gave us this wonderful old dining room set; waaaay older than me. Simply getting it to the house caused more damage than the 50 years they had it. This stuff just happens.

Since Dad had the unmitigated audacity to die and Mom doesn't drive, we're getting the car. I would strongly advise you not to come within several states of it.

• If you have Chrome or a Chrome-based browser, why is it almost impossible to get a cookie blocking extension? All the cookie managers let you play with the cookies. I don't want to play with cookies, I want to deny or accept cookies, on a per-site basis. I finally found a developer-related addon that does this. Idiots.

Today I identify as pudding.



There is something fascinating about Tunnel Boring Machines (TBMs).
Not fascinating is they're very temperamental and frequently require maintenance. They carry a small train behind them to get all the dirt out from boring.



No thank you, I'd rather debate politics in front of the White House



Because I'm a musician (allegedly), you get stuck with weird stories and recommendations. Today it's Paul Williams. If you're under 30(?) you may not remember him. You might know some of his songs, though: We've Only Just Begun (Carpenters), "Rainy Days and Mondays" (Carpenters), "You and Me Against the World" (Helen Reddy), "An Old Fashioned Love Song" (3 Dog Night), "Let Me Be the One", and "The Rainbow Connection" (Muppets). Embarrassingly, theme from the Love Boat (hopefully you don't remember that either). He won Grammys, Golden Globes, and Academy awards. He was bloody huge around the 70s.  Later on, excess got to him, he got clean, and is a certified drug and alcohol counselor, in addition to a very gifted writer. It's unclear if he wrote the music too, as it seems to be credited to 2 or 3 people. He was also a huge tv star, with an uncountable amount of appearances on the Tonight Show (Johnny Carson, anyone?), movies, and other tv shows. He's a funny little dude (5'2"), with a huge personality.

Just watched a documentary, kinda, on Paul, called Paul Williams - Still Alive. It's both funny and sad, in many different ways. The fellow who made the movie approached it as a fan, wanting to make a movie, and also become buddies with its subject. If you look carefully, you can find it online.

I'm going to flash back... way back, to my mom's record collection. Before I started playing guitar, I would listen to her albums (round black things, with a tiny hole in the center, pre-CD, pre-MP3). I discovered Joe Cocker there, which started me off on the right foot, as well as Procol Harum. I gave her Little Feat and the Allman Brothers, so it was even.  Among the records was Paul Williams - A Little Bit of Love. For whatever reason, I fell in love with it. It's bizarre, as this is not my forte, by a long shot (Mom, ya done good). Many years later, I still remember the songs, or parts of them (my musical memory is beyond weird).

In the movie, a lot of people said they were drawn to his music by the words, which dealt with loss and being lost. I think I was drawn by the music, then the words, but I'm generally not a words guy.

I saw him, many years later, in the Minneapolis Airport. He kinda stared at me, and I could hear his thoughts: What the hell is THAT? I really should have chatted with him.

Give him a listen, as well as the people who sang his songs.

• Bose continues their innovation, this time in headphones. Their phones have 130 microscopic drivers (70 facing outward), alleging that you get the full fidelity from them, plus 4 racks of pre-processing.
• The above is hysterical if you remember their 901s.

Heroes of the Stupid


Apple fired an employee who went through a woman's pictures and forwarded one to himself. He was very sorry (for getting caught) and had no idea how it happened.   Apple apparently hires people from Geek Squad.

Apple allows you to install other browsers on the iDevice, but they can never be the default. Regardless of what you install, it's only a fancy wrapper, because all browsers are required to use Apple's rendering engine.

Denver is suing a business owner for refusing to pick up the feces of homeless people who defecate on his property.

Australia wants to use facial recognition for porn age verification.




SJW Output

Anyone should be allowed to 'identify' as black, regardless of skin color or background, according to university leaders in the UK. In unrelated news, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton had stereo heart attacks today.


There’s no one way to be a man.
Men who get their periods are men.
Men who get pregnant and give birth are men.
Trans and non-binary men belong.
#InternationalMensDay - courtesy of the ACLU, which is getting sillier with age


A studio exec has suggested Julia Roberts play Harriet Tubman.
This is every bit as stupid as demanding black and female actors play white male roles.


Millennials say workplace 'Secret Santa' gift exchange causes anxiety.
Know what else causes anxiety? Getting fired.

A Three Hour Tor

TOR, otherwise known as The Onion Router, is a reasonably secure internet platform. When I say reasonably secure, I mean it's safe to route all of your traffic through it, but if you have incredibly sensitive information, you run a risk of being discovered. That aside, Snowden and Assange use it and the NSA is having trouble spying on it (but still manages). The safest way is to boot from and use the Tails operating system. The link has some good basic information on TOR. You can try it out with the TOR browser. Download the browser here. It's Firefox, so you already know how to use it. Give it a shot. Try not to install any extensions/addons because some of them leak information, rendering the browser unsafe.

• Over 460 models of HP laptops come complete with a keylogger. This means that every letter you type could be logged. Fortunately, this 'feature' is disabled by default. It exists in the touchpad driver. If anybody gets access to the computer, they can turn the keylogger on.

The FDA has approved a pill with an embedded sensor that can report when it is swallowed.  This is very interesting and, as I understand it, only one pill. Let's put on our Thermionic Tin Foil Hats.  Any invasive technology tends to come disguised as a benefit: 

• "Oh - we'll know if Gramma took her medicine!"
• "Stupid drug addict brother didn't take his methadone today."
• "Yes, as you know, Doctor, I took my meds, but I'm still hearing the voices. They do not like you."

The pill sends a signal to a patch, which sends the information to an app on your phone. You can send the results to a number of people if you like. How is this wrong? Let me count the ways...

• Bluetooth: hackable in the vicinity
• Sensor: is it really safe n your body? Do you really need it? 
• App: fitness apps and most others transmit information up the line to the software's author, advertising, and Google or Apple.
• No one really needs your information.

British television seems to consist largely of a bunch of overstuffed people sitting on an overstuffed couch, talking about nothing but using a lot of words to get there. No wonder they like some of our shows (Seinfeld).

• Over thirty email clients, including webmail, have a pretty serious flaw that will allow a Bad Guy to spoof the FROM address convincingly. Read this to see if yours is affected. Several were fixed before the flaw was announced.

In the 1980s, AT&T asked a consultant to estimate how many cell phones would be in use in the world by 2000. They concluded the total market would be 900,000 units. This persuaded AT&T to pull out of the market. By 2000, there were 738 million people with cellphone subscriptions. So close....

• a thirteenth human foot was found washed up on Canada's west coast. No one is sure why this happens but no foul play is suspected. No foul play? How many appendages, organs, and severed heads have to wash up before foul play is suspected? And what happened to the fourteenth foot? Isn't Canada supposed to be friendly? Does this sort of thing go on all the time in British Columbia?

Time grows near for the FCC's decision on whether to keep or jettison the Net Neutrality rules. While they haven't explicitly stated it, the FCC really doesn't care what you think and has no problem clinking drinks with Big Business. After having found millions of fake comments on the topic, the FCC is blocking any investigation into the comments, which, incredibly, were from dead people and were against neutrality. Nothing at all is suggested by this wild coincidence.

• A bunch of years ago I went to a guitar show with a Gibson Custom Shop display. I asked the guy if they had ever built any lefty doublenecks. He said he was aware of four, and at that date, they would cost about $5,000. Right handed, of course, was less. Today I finally located a Custom Shop lefty Doubleneck on Ebay, for the bargain price of $8,000. Ok, everything this shop sells is pretty damn expensive, plus shipping from Asia. I'm sure I can get it cheaper by ordering locally.
• I know, I know, you don't care. But Jimmy Page plays one.
• We got what we wanted most for the holidays: Marshall, alive. Because of this, we've had to cancel Christmas.
• But a new guitar (or three) sure would be nice. 

Gibson Custom Shop lefty EDS-1275

In Road Wars, a British COPS-like show, they pulled a car over, checked the trunk, and found 'herbal cannabis'. Herbal, pronouncing the 'H'. When I was young, I did my share of substances, but I am not aware of any variety other than herbal. Did they invent some sort of Imitation Cannabis? Why in the universe do they call it cannabis when 'Pot' is one syllable?

One day on COPS, an officer found "some sort of green, leafy substance; possibly cannabis." Do police recruit from just one pool? Has someone been peeing in it again?

• A Harvard student recently made a bold public declaration, admitting that, while at a bar with friends one time, he talked about the attractiveness of the women in his class. What a brave man. If anybody overheard him, he'd be publicly lynched.

Researchers, which is a term for anyone having more than one account on a website, have estimated that up to one percent of sites on the web have been hacked. For those of us who like math (and I know no one who meets this description) that's about 10 in 1,000 of the most visited websites. This statistic proves nobody is above or immune to hacking, and you will probably visit one of these sites, if not the entire one percent.

• I have seen into the future. Come next June, a newspaper headline will read "America Saves Millions as Half of Congress Arrested for Pedophilia"

Sophie

Sophie


Funny machine learning fails. Cortana: show me why I shouldn't use you.

• Over in the UK, there will be a Gays Against Sharia demonstration. Since it's 2017, there will also be a counter demonstration. By gays. Called "Stand Up Against Racism and Bigotry."
• It does not take a scholar of Sharia to understand Sharia does not like gays, to the effect of throwing them off buildings. This fact is not hidden - there's plenty of video documenting it.
• So in essence, Stand Up Against Racism and Bigotry is advocating their own demise, under the guise of their own stupidity.
• Perhaps Stand Up Against Racism and Bigotry can save everybody some time and effort by holding their counter demonstration on the roof of a nearby building.
• In other news, across town, Jews Against Nazis will be holding a rally. A counter-rally will be held by Jews for Tolerance...

It's no secret I don't like Google, mostly because of their omnipresent tracking. I strongly urge everyone to use duckduckgo.com for their searches - there's no tracking. Another reason not to trust Google is that it deliberately manipulates search results. This story describes how, in an attempt to sell their failed Google+ service, they came right out and admitted, to Forbes, that if they didn't feature their social media button, their search results would be affected. There are many such reports of this happening, but here it's straight from the horse's mouth.

• The Food and Drug Administration has recalled half a million pacemakers over hacking fears.
• What are pacemakers going to do - leap out of the chests of unfortunate patients and fly to the manufacturer for updates?

Samsung will be testing self-driving cars in California. This is a good thing, because when they fail, only Californians will be hurt. It could be a bad thing, if the batteries are of the same variety as their Note 7.  It could be the next "Hunting with Dick Cheney" joke.... "Hey, let me get you a Samsung home..."

• UN Refugee Agency says they want at least 380,000 migrants in Europe per year.  Did you ever shake your head so much and so vigorously that you injured yourself?

It's been a rough time for guitar players. We say RIP to Dave Hlubek, of Molly Hatchett (66), and Walter Becker (67) of Steely Dan. These are two names from my youth and will be missed. Interestingly, Steely Dan played out recently, with Donald Fagen stating that Walter was recovering from an illness. No cause of death was given.

• ISIS has advised their followers to inject poison into food at supermarkets. Just in case you weren't going shopping today.

Just the other day I saw a woman with only two tattoos and no facial piercings.

• There's lots of ransomware about. Avoid it.

Symantec is warning that a series of recent hacker attacks not only compromised energy companies in the US and Europe but also resulted in the intruders gaining hands-on access to power grid operations.  

No, sorry, not tolerable. What's going on here? Some of it entails getting credentials from a user and getting into the system from there. This is why you never give out your login and password. Don't click on emails. If the email wants you to go to a website, go yourself - don't click the link.

• Have you noticed that the usb port in your car charges glacially slowly? Here's the agonizing truth.

There is now a wifi-equipped grill. So your neighbors can control how well done your burgers are.

• 
  

Using the (V)agina Card

Big Pharma is working tirelessly on a female Viagra.
Before you go off wondering how far I'm going to go with this, I must assure you this is purely medical (almost).

It would seem that there's a campaign to get the FDA to approve flibanserin, a female Viagra. The campaign is comprised of women's groups and, strangely enough, the developer of flibanserin. The claim is that the FDA has a gender bias, in approving twenty six Erectile Dysfunction drugs for men and none for women.

On its surface, this looks like a legitimate claim. Spend a few more seconds with me and we'll see if we have the same opinion.

As it turns out, flibanserin has been studied and rejected twice by the FDA, due to the side-effects outweighing the benefits.

But it's gender-related, right?

This week, the FDA will consider flibanserin for the third time (due to pressure from these groups?).

Other women's groups say the above groups are making a mockery of the FDA approval process. Sounds about right to me.

Let's face it... reality would dictate that we need Big Pharma to come up with drugs that work and are marginally safe. If this were to happen, odds are the FDA would approve them (bribes and powerful friends help - think aspartame). The potential sales of this kind of pill would be in the billions of dollars. Do you think for a moment Big Pharma isn't working on it (aside from the above-mentioned political ploy)?

I'm all for a solution for women - I'd just prefer it to be a safe one.

=====================================

A woman who married her female partner last year without first divorcing her husband has pleaded guilty to bigamy and other charges in Virginia.

• bigamy: one wife too many
• monogamy: same

====================================

Speaking of cards, I need one. I need one simple card or phrase I can pull out to deflect all criticims.  Black people can use the R-card (racism), Jews have the A-card (antisemitism) and, as you see above, women have the V-card. Now that I have completely alienated the NAACP, the ADL and most (if not all) women, let's get down to business.

I don't fit into any of the accepted minority groups. In fact, as a white male, I'm considered responsible for most of the world's ills. So you see, I need my own card.  I'm thinking the L-card. Yes, left-handed rights! Lately the press is full of people bemoaning the lack of women in tech (funny, I've always worked with women), demanding and setting up programs to recruit women in tech.

This raises yet another bugaboo: equal opportunity regulations. Forgetting for a moment the libertarian belief that the government has no business messing with business, do we need these kinds of laws? My personal belief is that the most qualified candidate should get the job, period.  Let's think about this a second.... Man #1 qualifies for the local police, with a score of 92 on his entrance exam. Woman #1 is hired due to EEOC regulations, with a score of 79.  Do you want your police to have the 'correct' amount of minorities on the force or the highest-scoring test-takers? They may be at odds with each other.

From now on, whenever something doesn't go my way, I shall whip out (uh-oh) and use the L-card. Not hired? That's dexterism. Passed over for a promotion? It's obviously because they gave my less-qualified right-handed colleague the job. I demand the EEOC enact regulations requiring a certain amount of dexterously-correct hires. A quota of southpaws. A lorry of lefties. A sack of sinisters. A sizable stack of satan's spawn. Lefty Rights!

And now even more people can hate me!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A senior official in the Malaysian state of Sabah blamed naked tourists for the deadly quake of 6/5/15. Yes, Joseph Pairin Kitingan says this tragedy is connected to a group of Western tourists who recently posed nude on the peak and allegedly cursed at a local guide for trying to prevent them from stripping. Mr Pairin says the tourists made the spirits of the mountain angry.

This brings to mind the fellow who said that abortion was responsible for earthquakes in Mexico.

And now we know.

P.S. The world has yet to come up with a slur exclusively for Malaysians. I suspect they may be feeling left out.

 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I just read an article stating undercover DHS testing revealed that 95% of items could be smuggled through airport security. Read that again: ninety five percent of screeners failed.

The article took a somewhat surprised tone. I just shook my head.. from the beginning I have stated that Homeland Security is Security Theater.  Security Theater is a program staged for the benefit of its viewers but without any serious thought toward its stated purpose.  Another example is the Patriot Act. The FBI and various letter agencies have admitted that the illegal interception of ALL of our data has not stopped one single case of 'terrorism' (Admitted Security Theater). Despite this, our president, McConnell and the always entertaining Feinstein are demanding the Patriot Act be reinstated. Constitutional rogues and political failures.

Do we really need the government protecting us like this? At the cost of our liberties?

The TUNE SPOT

When you're an instrumentalist and people who aren't musicians respond to your playing and songs, you're doing it correctly. Few do it more correctly than Eric Johnson.  Hailing from Austin, TX (like Stevie Ray Vaughan), Eric plays like no other and has sent many a guitar player back to his solitary room to practice and practice and practice again. He has speed, tone, and phrasing down.

Few guitarists win a Grammy award, but Eric did in 1991 for Best Rock Instrumental Performance. The song is Cliffs of Dover. I have even heard it on Rock radio stations. This is the live version, because it's faithful to the studio version and it gives you an idea of what he's like live and the things he can do. Here's Zap, from the same concert in Austin. Here's a concert in 1997, at LA's House of Blues.

Mrs. lefty and I stood almost at Eric's feat for a show in Philly. Most recently we saw him on the Experience Hendrix tour of 2014. Mrs. lefty was spellbound and loves listening to his songs. You will too (my advice is worth exactly what you're paying for it).

Should We Continue Business as Usual?

OBAMA APPOINTS MONSANTO'S VICE PRESIDENT AS SENIOR ADVISOR TO THE COMMISSIONER AT THE FDA

Considering the fact that Monsanto just bought Blackwater, we may soon be the United States of Monsanto (by force?).  Again, it's incestuous.  Look at the appointees and long-term government employees.


Homeland Security Monitoring All Journalists & Social Media Users.  And they'll be saving the data, in case they can get you for something later on.

You got it, folks.  Big Sister will be keeping all of your social media data and it's perfectly legal.


Airport Screeners to Be Monitored for Radiation

Your memory doesn't have to be too good to recall Big Sister saying how the xray machines at airports represented absolutely no threat to the operators or victims forced to walk through them.  The xray machines that were strangely ready to go into all airports as soon as Big Sister mentioned them....


Hundreds Threaten Suicide At Microsoft Supplier Plant In China

Define `extreme cruelty'.  
At first I thought they were being forced to use Windows (I'd threaten suicide too).  No, they were demanding a wage increase.  Foxconn and China may have something to teach us after all....  and it will no doubt show up in your Xbox purchase.


Ron Paul News

CNN’s Ron Paul Reporter Admits Bias: “Worried” About Paul’s Success

You mean they're not fair and balanced, like Fox?

Does the Establishment Media Fear Ron Paul?

Is it mostly rainy in England?


Ron Paul won second place in New Hampshire.  This is his second finish in second place.  Remember that when you hear that he's not electable.  Remember that Paul's positions have been consistent over his time in office; they have not waivered or flip-flopped.  You know exactly where he stands on any issue, regardless of how you feel about it.  Try that with any other establishment politician.

Obama is a grave disappointment but not a shock.  He is simply Bush in a darker shade.  The fact is that Ron Paul does not represent the establishment, like the others.  All of these clowns are establishment pawns, ready to do the bidding of their corporate masters at our expense.   This is why the mainstream media barely mentions his name - they're terrified.  All sorts of groups are terrified and I see that as a good thing.  Voting for anyone else in the false republican/democrat paradigm is a wasted vote.

No one is perfect:  I disagree with Paul on abortion (he's against it).  He's a Conservative Christian.  We make the strangest bedfellows, yet I think he's our only hope.  He will uphold the constitution and he's the only one who will.  Bush and Obama continued the dismantling of our sacred document, right by right, chipping away with the aid of an impotent and corrupt Congress.  Romney is another lapdog who will continue the game.  Newt bends whichever way the wind blows (not to mention his failed Contract with America) and Santorum is religiously addled, among other things.

In Iowa, Paul owned the thirty and under vote.  Independents changed their registration to republican so they could vote for him.  He raises huge amounts of money and has serious internet support, which you will not hear about in the media.


Don't vote for the lesser of evils: vote for our country and our rights.