A Watched Elephant Never Flies

Shit got hacked. 
Info got taken.


Also, here's another completely disheartening flaw, in your SIM card, by which hackers can hijack your phone with a simple text. There's a great bit in the article about a private company that works with governments using this for 2 years for surveillance.  soooo.... tired...



Lions can see in the dark. Know what else can see in the dark?
Humans. With infrared goggles.
And pussycats.
Know what this means?
It means that dogs with infrared goggles are lions.



RIP Ginger Baker (80) - Cream, Blind Faith, etc



Dear lefty

• What was my biggest mistake?
• Performing oral in back alleys for $10. 
• (the going rate is $20)

Today I identify as: the F22 Osprey aircraft - for every hour in the air, there's 16 hours of maintenance.

• BREAKING: Chimpanzee on the loose in Santa Fe, Texas, harassing residents and reportedly attempting to steal cats
• Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Please tell me what to think.

NPR (yuck) Fresh Air (yay) had an interview with the author of a book about Sidney Gottlieb. You can find a transcript online. Sidney worked for the CIA, who wanted to start looking into mind control, for the purposes of spying and carrying information, unknown to the courier (Manchurian Candidate). Thus began MK-ULTRA in 1953. Gottlieb ran the program, which included electric shocks, sleep deprivation, personality wiping, LSD, repetitive audio reinforcement over weeks, and heaven knows what else. This also ran in Toronto.

Gottlieb eventually went away and in 1975, the Church Committee discovered who he was, via exposing MK-ULTRA. Gottlieb went straight to the records warehouse and destroyed everything. On the stand, he developed an incredible case of memory loss, almost as bad as the people he tortured. The politicians didn't really know the extent of the program so they let him go.

The leftovers are slogging around Canada and the US. Broken people, some with their memory wiped, so they don't know their own families. Some with multiple personalities. Some developed alcohol and substance abuse issues. Some just wander in and out of hospitals.  A few people sued and got settlements.

Gottlieb was friends with Frank Olsen, who was thrown jumped out of a hotel window and died. Eventually President Ford admitted to it, met and apologized to the family, and awarded them compensation.

This is your tax dollars and your government. This is what we know. Imagine what we don't know. MK-ULTRA was closed down, but you're a fool if you think the work stopped.



No thank you, I'd rather have sex with Charlie Sheen

• Little Feat, one of my favorite bands, is celebrating its 50th birthday. Tune in and watch them play a few songs. RIP Lowell George and Ritchie Hayward.

Direct from the NSA:
Discover more about our commitment to protecting civil liberties and privacy in our 1st semi-annual NSA Civil Liberties and Privacy Officer Report.   Cut it out. Stop. Next up: Dick Cheney's report on making and keeping friends.

• Did you hear about the partying dyslexic?  He swallowed the LDS.

Faceyspaces suspended the Israeli Prime Minister's page for 24 hours over 'hate speech'.  I'm laughing too hard to find the link.


Everybody's favorite always mad lady, AOC (see below), says it is 'barbarism' that the US does not guarantee a 'right' to housing.  Everybody's most-tolerated blogger, lefty, says if this is true, when is she paying my mortgage?




It Has Started.
2 men from the Netherlands have been arrested for trespassing at Area 51. One told police he was a YouTube personality. They were arrested 3 miles inside the gate.

But but but... I'm famous! I'm a YouTube celebrity! People love and respect me! They get up early just to see my videos.. I'm popular. An influencer. Girls like me. Really. YouTube celebrities don't lie.

I've never been to Nevada, but I understand it's incredibly difficult to get near the gate, no less 3 miles in. They have vibration sensors and audio. They have very serious men in camo, with the guns people want taken away. They are private security and call the sheriff to arrest interlopers. The sign says shooting is authorized. You can search YouTube for videos of people trying to get in and watch what happens. They're watched the entire time by the guards. The moment someone crosses the line, they're there. Claiming they were 3 miles inside doesn't seem to fit with reality. Add the fact that the base knows The People From Faceyspaces are coming, and you smell something off. As Flounder said, about the upcoming hordes....




Heroes of the Stupid

A North Carolina woman cut off her husband's penis after tying him up. Deputies found the severed limb and gave it to medics.  All together now - OUCH




SJW Silliness

Dateline San Francisco, California: SJW Central has just announced that White blood cells are a tool of the patriarchy and will be renamed Pink blood cells, to be inclusive. The red blood cells will absolutely not work because Trump Hat, so the red blood cells will identify as blue.  [ThermionicEmissions, by lefty]

Illegal alien charged for alleged sex with a cow arrested again. Things sure must be different south of Texas.

Pete Buttigieg, presidential democratic candidate: Using a straw or eating a burger means you are 'part of the problem'

Why the way we teach kids table manners is actually kind of racist
The message that eating food with your hands is unmannered is dripping with the control and shame of colonization - and we need to rethink our idea of "good manners," says chef and food activist Joshna Maharaj.   Food Activist? Me too - everybody eat a candy bar.

Are You Left Handed or Backwards?

Mercedes UK admits spying on drivers with tracking devices. Your location is not a secret on new or used cars. The government is outraged because only they should be able to spy on citizens. Is this happening in America too? Check what you're signing.

Lincoln is introducing Phone-As A Key, where you download an app to unlock your car (android or other). You're tracked here too because the app sends the data up the line every time you use it (and probably when you're not using it).

Faceyspaces gives everyone a 'clear history tool' that doesn't clear anything. 
Still logging in? 400+ million users' data on the loose. Still logging in?

Over a third of firms have suffered a cloud attack.
Once again, I have been proven correct.
If you can't touch your data, it's no longer yours.




Boris Johnson, the UK's new PM (PDQ), said he appreciates Donald Trump's kind words, but promised that he wouldn't say anything nice about Trump if Trump doesn't say anything nice about him. A Trump endorsement makes it even harder to get anything done.

• Denmark's PM said that Greenland is not for sale. She recommended the US take a look at China.

Dear lefty

• Why are you so nasty all the time?
• Because I hate you.

Angela Merkel (D-Germany) is being hauled into world court to explain why she deliberately uses a hard G in Angela.

Boris Johnson went to meet Angela Merkel as his first visit out of state. Boris took some remedial German classes in preparation, but couldn't make all the classes. As a result, here are a few things he said to Merkel

Good evening. Your mother is a fire truck.
About this Brexit thing.... God, you're ugly.
Germany holds a special place in my spleen.
Terrible thing about those Jews, isn't it?
Don't mention the war. Did I say that out loud?

• England will never be taken seriously until it stops saying conTROVerSEE and SHED-ule.

No thank you, I'd rather vacation in Jeffrey Epstein's jail cell.

Speaking of Epstein's cell, his former cellmate is being politely requested not to talk about a single thing that goes on in prison. Lest he get transferred to that cell.

• Having a bad day? A man burying his wife, a victim of the El Paso shooting, had his SUV stolen at the funeral.  Stop complaining.

I bought an ergonomic mouse, forever answering the question 'can I get a left handed mouse?' If you take a regular mouse and pick one side up to about 45 degrees, it looks like that. I really like the device and recommend it. It even has backspace and forward buttons for browsing. Since it's tall, I always knock it over with my hand.

Related: know how it's difficult to grab the tiny perimeter of a window to resize it? I have a hard time NOT grabbing it. It's like magic. Evil magic.



OXYMORONS

• Faceyspaces Privacy Officer
• Congressional Ethics
• Microsoft Security Engineer
• MTV Rocks

Work is fun and I'm learning all sorts of Stuff.
Stuff like being security conscious but using Chrome and Internet Explorer is ok. Internet Explorer is a Hall of Horrors. Whenever I use it, I remember why I not only hate it, but why I use ad blockers on my real browsers: it's the only time I see ads. So this is what PTSD means....

As with all jobs, there are meetings. I have tried with all my might to avoid meetings, without success. Even bad behavior hasn't helped.... when I try, I find out the others are trying harder than me (and succeeding). It's a competition to keep up. My behavior is actually encouraged. I tried feigning incompetence, but this also failed, as most of my coworkers are genuinely incompetent. I also tried Tourette's Syndrome, randomly blurting out curses, but no one could tell it from my regular outbursts. I tried an earring through my eyebrow, but the boss has a 6" bone through his nose.  I even tried explosives, but one coworker laughed and said, "You call that an explosive," then showed me his desk drawer. I even claimed I'm second shift (where literally nothing gets done) but no one heard me because they were off doing nothing of their own.

This will challenge all my creativity but I'm up for it.


Speaking of work, I had to put in a trouble ticket for some broken software.
My department must get to our issues in 24 hours...  to this day, we're not sure if Helpdesk is obligated to even look at their tickets. Since this was a fairly important request, they got back to me within a few weeks. I got asked if I'm still having that software problem. Well, I'd say so, as I can't fix it myself. You know, that's why I put in the ticket. Software doesn't spontaneously repair itself.

Oh.

He goes away a couple of times, without informing me he's working in the issue. I'm staring at the screen, waiting for something magical to happen. Fortunately there was no extensive breath-holding going on. I gave up and went back to my own job, where I get to all issues within an hour. A few disappearances later he informs me of what's wrong.  Well, that's nice. Then he disappears again. Where do these people go? When he eventually gets back, it's Fixed!

He has this whole dance down to a science. No one ever complains because, like their doctor, they're just happy to see him.

Now he'll tell his boss he spent 4 hours with some idiot who broke his machine, so that's why he got nothing done this week.

Oops, the fix was less that perfect, in that it didn't work at all, much like Congress. I'm sure someone will get back to me. In a month or two.




A girl was found bound and gagged in a car on a California freeway. The family said they were taking her to drug rehab. Turns out they were taking her to a Taylor Swift concert. It was for her own good.

There's a commercial on in the background and I notice the jingle sounds perfectly vapid and perfect for a commercial. Then I find out it's not a commercial - it's Taylor Swift. This is only the second song of hers I've heard, but my first instinct is RUN. She seems like such a nice person, though.

• Porn Industry Worried Association with White House May Tarnish Its Image.

Heroes of the Stupid

Fearing they could be overwhelmed with visitors, officials in the remote Nevada county that’s home to the Area 51 military base have drafted an emergency declaration and a plan to team resources with neighboring counties and the state ahead of events tied to the “Storm Area 51” internet drive. The entire storm will peter out when they find out cell service just crashed and they can't livestream to Faceyspaces.


If you play touch football at Lamar High School in Arlington, Texas, things just got safer: you are now required to wear a helmet.


Best headline: Joe Biden's brain surgeon is defending Joe Biden's brain.
He plans to install it after the election.


I just saw a message from someone using Microsoft Outlook for Android.
A virus you have to install manually.



SJW Stupidity

San Francisco board rebrands 'convicted felon' as 'justice-involved person'.
Richard Ramirez, 'the Nightstalker,' is now 'serially female-involved'.





History will look back on us and get a neck sprain from shaking its head vigorously.    - lefty

Some things never go out of style

My Hair Hurts

Theresa May has announced she'll be stepping down as Prime Minister of England. Insiders say that she was unable to get the country to stand by its own vote.

A likely candidate is Boris Johnson. This guy is a shoe-in because his hair looks like he was attacked by a lawnmower: it will bring the UK and the US closer in follicles.

• Trump allows Barr to declassify surveillance documents around the Russia investigation. Perhaps if we send postcards, he'll declassify ufo documents.

Dear lefty:

• Why do I have trouble with relationships?
• You're too clingy. That and your micro-penis.

Making dietary changes is hard. We shouldn't have to do it... it lowers quality of life. Candy and CocaCola is a perfectly nutritious breakfast, but nooooo..... After that special diet most of my life, I had to make sacrifices. People used to tell me that sugar is poison. They don't tell me that anymore because they're afraid of getting hit. Again. They don't understand the sacrifices I've made... Morning coffee is sacred to everyone. I went from three tablespoons of sugar to two teaspoons. I'm still shaking, after a year. Don't let anyone tell you it's easy.

• In Australia, a man was fined at the airport for not declaring his nuts. Perhaps he identifies as female. Regardless - be proud.. show your nuts!

A man allegedly hiding drugs in his rectum accidentally shot himself in the testicles. That's the ugliest case of gender confusion ever.

• Florida (YAY!) banned 'childlike' sex dolls. 
• Florida is God's Waiting Room - what would they do with.... ewwww

The Georgia Supreme Court ruled that the state has no obligation to protect personal information. They did, however, restate that they have an obligation to take your money and fritter it away on any old thing, then raise your taxes.  Privacy - from the people who brought you the DMV.

• ThermionicEmissions applauds Gillette for inclusiveness, in its commercial about a father teaching his trans son to shave. Inclusiveness: what we all want to see.

Through the mid 80s, there were scheduled burns of garbage at Area 51. These were toxic materials from the Stealth program. Employees started developing cancer and demanded information. (Mr.) President Clinton signed an order stating that Area 51 was off-limits for investigations, on national security grounds. People continue to die, but it's a patriotic death - for national security. 

• If you live with someone who has ADD and you're bored, buy a house fan. While putting it together, put the front on upside down, so the logo is upside down. THIS is why I'm going to hell.