Your Reminder That, At the End of the Day, It's Night

 

RIP Gary Rossington (71). The last original member of Lynyrd Skynyrd. No cause listed, but had heart issues. He survived the plane crash that killed guitarist Steve Gains and his sister, Cassie, a backup vocalist, as well as others.

Stay away from trees, as deceased rock stars are falling out of them.

Rock is relatively new, and we're watching the originals pass. It's not going to get any better.

Chicago also has one original member. Great topic for a story.

Your love is like   a fire sandwich

Sour fight ends with FDA ruling soy and nut milks can still be called “milk”

Can also be called "I'm not drinking that crap!"

Today I identify as  Rapunzel  (with male pattern baldness)

• Do ya think I should put the adult warning on my guitar blog too? 
• Nah, guitar players are the furthest thing from adults to begin with....

You know that talkbox thing? Joe Walsh uses it on Rocky Mountain Way. Peter Frampton on Do You Feel (Like I Do) and Show Me the Way. Jeff Beck used it on Superstition, She's a Woman and others. Joe Perry on Sweet Emotion. Stevie Wonder, early in his career. A tube runs up to the guitar player's mouth and he uses it to make the guitar talk. Damn cool effect. You know what I mean, right? Some have black tubes and some clear and they run up the mic stand. Some run right off the amp and some run from the pedal board, being self-amplified. It was initially called the voice bag and was homemade, by a steel guitar player. Recognize it?

I have one.

AI is the new Corporate Buzzword - The Cloud<tm> is out!

Along those lines, future Fords could repossess themselves, drive away if you miss payments.

HONEY - SOMEBODY STOLE OUR CAR! You did pay the bill, right?

NSA’s “state secrets” defense kills lawsuit challenging Internet surveillance

In short, by not taking this case, the Court has allowed the NSA to keep up its warrantless surveillance of people on the internet.

The explanation is that the suit might expose 'state secrets.' State Secrets is the ultimate excuse that gets an organization away from any legal scrutiny. There is a case involving Area 51 (no aliens were hurt in the filing of the suit). People who worked at Area 51 were getting sick and dying. It was determined to be due to burning some materials. Doctors wanted to know what the materials were, so they could treat the employees. It went to court and was denied, due to State Secrets. And the employees continued to die. Just in case you needed to know what was truly important.

So the NSA can 'legally' continue to perform its illegal spying activities. Sadly ironic is that some of this is right out in the open; we know about it.

I find it safest to just assume the NSA is listening. In fact, as soon as something leaves your house electronically, they have it. Phone, email, fax; it doesn't matter. Don't forget Windows.

The government is completely out of control.This is not what the Founding Fathers envisioned.

Free energy would be here if we could harness it from them spinning in their graves.

• The greatest thing about being an (alleged) adult is that you can have more than 1 YooHoo juice box.

ThermionicTip 

When you forward a link to friends and family, even just to annoy them; if it's there, remove the question mark and everything to the right of it. It can refer back to you. One exception is YouTube.

West Virginia, Florida make moves to undermine science education

And on the ninth day, Gawd made the Bible Belt. He sincerely apologizes.

Any relief from the dems is good, but now we need relief from the reps. Meet the new boss - same as the old boss. There was a large legal fight over this many years back; that's why it's not taught in public schools. It's a violation of the First Amendment, where the state is establishing a religion. They tried to slime their way around it by called God 'Intelligent Design' (faught and won before), but I hope the legal system will see it for what it is. Or the greatest friend to the First Amendment, the satanists, will intervene. Their mere presence causes rabid religionists to back off. "If your religion is allowed in, so is ours."

Mind you, Pastafarians can't get their pictures on drivers licenses with the ceremonial colander on their heads.  -  the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is not recognized as a religion. Hey, my cult is every bit as valid as yours. R'amen.

In case anybody hasn't noticed, there are real problems in public schools: we're graduating illiterates. But it's more important to get the Christian viewpoint in than do the Christian thing and help children.

Mainstream or Pr0n

This is the exclusive ThermionicEmissions game where the reader picks whether the 2 movies or tv shoes are mainstream or pr0n.  No looking it up on the web - that's cheating.

1.  Women in Prison
2.  Puss in Boots

Mystery sphere found on beach perplexes Japan

It's a big ole concrete sphere they had the Bomb Squad check out first. It's not explosive, it's hollow, and it's not terrorists or aliens.

It could be:

• a volleyball for extremely large aardvarks
• a way of gently persuading people that you're correct. Always.
• Yoko Ono's 'art'. It's called The Square. If you come near it, it says "EEEEEEEEEEEEE" 
• a remnant from the days of the Greek God, Testiklees.

I'm listen to this Buddy Guy song called Cognac. 

The real fun is listening to his guest guitarists. The first is Jeff Beck. Buddy says, "Take it, Beck." Jeff unleashes hell upon the blues tune. This happens a 2nd time. Then Buddy says, "Keith Richards." Keith was either surprised or saying to himself, "Jesus, I can't follow that!" Then Keith does his thing, but it's not the best he's played.

You cannot follow Jeff Beck.

Conversations with my dog

Me: why do you bring your mom dead mice?

Her: to thank her for adopting me and spoiling me to death

Me: but why a mouse?

Her: She didn't seem to enjoy the rabbit head

I was asked to do one of those Self-Assessment test things at work. I don't recommend it. I'm looking at these questions I can't answer. How do I rate myself? Isn't that supposed to be my boss' job? What if I fill it out and he laughs at my answers? This is like the adult version of report cards. lefty rates himself advanced in personal relations? lefty can't even relate to his wife, no less his coworkers. His own family barely recognizes his existence. Maybe he's just being funny.

I decided to give my boss a break and not divulge my plan to rid the company of useless operating systems. Actually, I held it back so his boss didn't see it. The rest of the questions didn't get any better.

Leadership: lefty couldn't get his team to follow him into the kitchen for free donuts. He has all the leadership ability of a cabbage. He wanted to be a supervisor, but then remembered he hates people.

Politics: lefty was absent the day internal political sense was handed out. As well as several days before and after. On the bright side, you know you'll get the unvarnished truth when you ask him a question. His political sense is approximately equal to Oprah's intake moderation.

Teamwork: lefty is great with his team, so long as they do exactly as he says. However, Management expressed interest in his 'seeking team consensus via mousetrap' method.

Work Ethic: he has one. It is very small and requires frequent naps. He does manage to mute his mic before the snoring starts.

Inventiveness: lefty frequently comes up with different and better ways to accomplish things. Unfortunately he comes up with them after 2am then calls his boss to go over them. Sometimes he goes over ideas with the boss' wife, who also puts up with him well. He is invited to the next family barbecue, halfway across the country. at the North Pole.

Comportment: Frankly, this is where it all goes to hell. Is there any way we can have this item removed from the assessment? lefty's behavior can best be described in one word: atrocious. Apparently this word has been used throughout his entire life to describe him. He never really kills anybody, no matter how many times he threatens. The anonymous emails to the CIO about dropping Windows for a real operating system did not go over as well as he thought they would. He seems to believe that because none of his coworkers speak up in meetings, it's his job to fill all available silence. While coworkers are sometimes impressed with his impressions of barnyard animals, they don't really like him when he's serious (once a month), even if his ideas are good. His unique brand of humor tends to push his team to one-up each other, at which point the planning meeting turns into 30 minutes of Your Mama and dead baby jokes. He vacillates between Good Influence and We should probably not invite him to the next meeting.

Would you recommend a raise: Yes. Once every 5 or 10 years. Any more frequently and you're just  encouraging him.

Overall, how would you rate him?   

1. Yes
2. Mostly Present.
3. Wouldn't let my wife or daughter within three states of him
4. All of the above

UFO THEATER

The Dance of the UFO/UAP Thingies Continues....

The Pentagon has no plans to release images of unidentified objects from recent shootdowns.

right next to: Excessive secrecy could undermine US efforts to evaluate unidentified flying objects, experts warn.

This is sadly very funny. Ok, somewhat ironically funny - is that better?

Excessive secrecy is what got us here in the first place. The government holds on to ALL of the data and guards it with your life. Now we have yet another Official Group studying things, and the Pentagon isn't interested in showing even pictures of the objects, not to mention the objects themselves. Here are 3 possible reasons for keeping everything under wraps:

1. it's extraterrestrial because they won't show us
2. it's withheld because it's from Raytheon, not the Pleiades
3. they really are that stupid and just don't release a thing
4. China now has naked pictures of the Bidens
5. at over $450,000 per missile, some company is getting astoundingly rich(er)

Didja think the new investigative group would blow the whole thing wide open? The only thing they're blowing open is the cost of the program.

The only image cleared for release was the one we all heard about: the Chinese balloon.

spokesperson for the Office of the Secretary of Defense told The Debrief. “No other aerial images have been released – and we do not have any additional information to provide at this time.”

We have information, we're just not providing it. 

Did I mention that spy planes, along with most armed forces planes, have cameras? There are miles of film, going back past the 1940s, with the Foo Fighters (before Dave Grohl was born).  This means there's a lot of UFOs on film. Where's the film?

The cover story is hilarious: an amateur balloon group lost their balloon. Pentagon isn't directly saying this is the complete story, but they're hinting that it is the complete and full story. I have to give this particular explanation/lie an F. Can't they make something up that has just a little more creativity to it? They even say the balloon's activity was consistent with hobby balloons. Need I remind you the pilot said the object was octagonal and not a balloon? This was on the officially released tape. Maybe the pilot of the F-22 just had no idea what he was seeing but the Pentagon did. Yeah, let's go with that. How many other times has this happened with hobby balloons? Oops.

Although whatever was shot down had been characterized as unidentified flying objects, U.S. officials have been quick to assert these were not “UFOs” in the sense they were believed to have belonged to extraterrestrials.

We don't know what they are, but they are absolutely definitely positively not extraterrestrial. We can't even find the debris but trust us, they weren't extraterrestrial.  After 9-11, any unknown disturbance was 'not terrorism,' regardless of what it was.

“[T]hese were not UFOs. We are tracking them as objects, and I know that there have been characteristics of one of them that appears to be like a balloon, but these were commercial, we believe,” Deputy Pentagon Press Secretary Sabrina Singh said during a press briefing on February 22. 

Hee hee, she's funny. They were 'objects.' And they were being tracked. Just as I said, NORAD sees everything, then our radar over the US does.

 “There is no — again, no indication of aliens or extraterrestrial activity,” said White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre

Wow, a White House Press Secretary and a deputy Pentagon Press Secretary. They can't coordinate this much outgoing information about anything except UFOs.

“Again, there is no indication of aliens or [extra]terrestrial activity with these recent takedowns.

Nor is it terrorism. We want to be clear on this.

Even a National Security Council spokesperson popped by to re-reiterate that he didn't think people needed to worry about aliens and there wasn't anything more to be said.

Let's go back to grade school. shall we? UFO - unidentified flying object. That's it. They changed the handle to UAP - unidentified aerial phenomenon, probably to shut down the stigma. Yet these bright folks up top still equate UFO with off-planet technology. Technically its no longer unidentified, because you know the Pentagon knows what it is. We just don't have a Need to Know.

-- To be clear, I don't know any more than you do. IF what we heard is true, it's probably ours. Let's give the aliens credit for building craft that can evade our fighter planes. These things were not doing anything our planes couldn't. I can't tell you. I'm just reading and calling BS where I see it. TIP: when something big happens, copy or record any account you can. Only after things start getting out does the spin go into effect, so you're likely to hear some truth in early accounts.

Like Mittens for Roosters

Your love is like  diptheria

Smartwatches for children are a privacy and security nightmare

Let me give you a tip: for adults too.

Today I identify as   my wife - won't she be surprised? 

Leaked footage shows British F-35B falling off HMS Queen Elizabeth and pilot's death-defying ejection

A Ministry of Defence spokesbeing said in a prepared statement: "We are aware of a video circulating online. We must state categorically that the video has nothing to do with this incident. The video in question features a different F-35B falling off a ship."

Major: Gentlemen.

Crew: SIR.

Major: Very nice planes.

Crew: Thank you SIR.

Major: I have a small, trifling little question.

Crew: SIR.

Major: there seems to be a space. You know, where we'd park a plane and all that.

Crew: SIR

Major: I was just wondering... if I remember correctly, there was a plane there when we left.

Crew: YES SIR

Major: So it's not just me.

Crew: NO SIR

Major: Does anybody remember what kind of plane it was?

Crew: F-35B, SIR

Major: So..... gentlemen...  has anybody seen the plane?

Crew: NOT RECENTLY SIR

Major: I don't want to put too much emphasis on this, but does anybody know where it went?

Crew: NO SIR

Major. Drat. Are you sure?

Crew: YES SIR

Major: Well. This is highly irregular. It will entail a lot of paperwork. Are you certain you don't know where it went?

Crew: WELL... OVER THE SIDE SIR

Major: I see. Aren't they supposed to be... you know... fastened down or something?

Crew: YES SIR

Major: I don't want to put too fine a point on it, but how, exactly, did it come to fall off the boat?

Crew SHIP, SIR

Major: Yes, quite. How did it fall off the ship?

Crew: IT WAS SMITH-JOHNSON-PHLEGM, SIR.

Major: I see. And how did this happen, Smith-Johnson-Pharnyx?

Smith-Johnson-Phlegm: Smith-Johnson-Phlegm, Sir.

Major: Yes, that's what I said. How did it happen, Smith-Johnson-Philosophy?

Smith-Johnson-Phlegm: Smith-Johnson-Phlegm, Sir. Well, I was getting around to securing the planes, and I forgot to set the parking brake.

Major: Let me see if I have this right... a multi-billion pound attack fighter fell off a boat

Crew SHIP, SIR

Major: because you forgot to set the parking brake?

Smith-Johnson-Phlegm: Yes, Sir. In my defense, Sir, Manchester United was playing.

Major: That sounds perfectly understandable.And why is Lion-Hunting looking so out of sorts?

Crew: PARACHUTE ACCIDENT, SIR

Major: Did he also forget to set the parking brake, like Smith-Johnson-Phoenetics?

Smith-Johnson-Phlegm: Smith-Johnson-Phlegm, Sir.

Crew: NO SIR

Major: Look, I feel we're getting nowhere.

Crew: YES SIR

Major: Where was Lion-Hunting during this whole fiasco?

Crew: IN THE PLANE, SIR

Major: I see. So. I assume we're all still talking about the plane that fell off the boat thingie...

Crew SHIP, SIR

Major: And what happened with the parachute?

Lion-Hunting: I had to use it, Sir

Major: I see. I see. Why did you need a parachute on a parked plane?

Lion-Hunting: It was out of control, Sir

Major: Well, it certainly was not in control in terms of being physically attached to the ship.

Lion-Hunting: Exactly Sir. I was in fear for my life, so I pulled the emergency release, Sir.

Major: And I expect that would also be responsible for all the parachute cord wrapped around the ship's antennas.

Crew: YES SIR

Major: I suppose it was a one in 37.5 billion chance it would spell out FSCK YOU on the boat.

Crew: SHIP SIR

So you're probably asking yourself how we're doing, rodentially speaking.

We are relaxed and expect smooth sailing from here, thank you.

After it was all over, the firemen told us that rodents really don't like fire, so they were probably the first ones out.

The Pentagon Forms New Department to Watch and Study UFOs

This is what we call UFO Theater.

First there was Harry Reid's $22 million project that recently went public. Now an actual Pentagon department. Government only grows.

If they want to be helpful and avoid UFO Theater (they don't), they can simply reveal where all UFO reports have gone to since before the 1940s. All of the information has gone upstream and exists somewhere. I don't know where this is, but this is the key to everything we know about whatever's flying around up there.

But we're not going to get the truth - we're getting UFO Theater.

Speaking of stuff flying around, NASA canceled a spacewalk because 'it's too risky outside.'

They're concerned about space debris.

You can't take us earthlings anywhere.

We're barely off the planet and have put so much shit around the planet that it's dangerous to be around.

IF there are aliens around, it's probably their job to see we don't get off the planet. Think about it - would you like us as your neighbors?

• Straight from the people who brought you BJ's Wholesale, is My Favorite Facial, a cosmetic.
• Let me add onto the end of the commercial: BUT WAIT!! If you buy now, we'll reduce the price from $39.99 to $19.99. Just see Dr. lefty. He will provide what will become Your Favorite Facial!

Flying AIDS News  

Omicron: Do travel bans work against new Covid variants?

don't ask questions - PANIC and get in line for the next shot

Womp, womp: Efficacy of Merck’s Thor-inspired COVID pill crumbles, vexing experts

'experts' at FDA say approve it anyway

Rights groups petition Israel's top court over Omicron phone tracking

I see your true colors, shining though....

Covid: Dutch police arrest quarantine hotel escapees

threaten to put them in the same cell as Ghislane Maxwell

Covid: JCVI scientists to announce decision on booster rollout

Pfizer boss: Annual Covid jabs for years to come

Covid: Trigger of rare blood clots with AstraZeneca jab found by scientists

Many Severe Covid-19 Survivors Go on to Die Within a Year, Study Finds

What we know and don’t know about the omicron coronavirus variant

Omicron found in US—plus 23 other countries in 5 of 6 global regions

• Ghislaine Maxwell's sex-trafficking trial to begin in New York City
• as a courtesy, the prosecutor's office asked her how she'd like to die, when the video cameras in her cell go out.

Just for the good of this blog, Elon Musk has been in the news this week.

He said he's very serious about his plan to build a 'permanent moon base' and a 'city on Mars'

Right after that, he told his employees to stop rushing to increase quarterly deliveries.

This should be interesting. Will the Moon base spontaneously combust? Will the city on Mars crash into police cars? Will the Moon base have an accent?

• We Need to Stop Saying ‘Blacklist’ and ‘Whitelist’
• no, we need to stop telling people what they can and can't say

Speaking of telling people what they can and can't say, remember the people who were pissed at fashion magazines for creating unrealistic expectations on the part of the female readers?

My buddy called the other day to voice his complaint. He said that amateur pr0n created unrealistic expectations of people. He told me the couples were beautiful and well-built. How could real-life people possibly measure up to them? You don't see ugly, overweight people in amateur pr0n (except for the specialists). How could he possibly get a girlfriend when she was looking for an Adonis with a foot in his pants? It's unrealistic. It's one or the other (stop laughing). 

He makes sense. But my recommendations to the fashion magazine people still stand:

• learn to be ok with yourself
• learn what to do when people laugh at you
• do something so well, it makes up for your 'shortcomings'
• Parents: tech your kids about good self-image and confidence. Not everybody is a Hadid (or a Tracy Lords).
• The important one: sex can take place without a video of it. In fact, if you do it in the dark, she will never see your shortcomings. Take it from me, Dr. lefty Love. Mrs. lefty still thinks I look like a young Paul Newman, with a twelve inch measuring device in my pants.

Mrs. lefty just walked by, fresh from her monthly trip to buy Tupperware/Rubbermaid containers for leftovers and whatnot. When I went to use one, there was only a large space occupied by lids. What happens with containers after you buy them? Are they a special subset of socks? I checked all the other shelves and fridge - not even any containers in use.

If I remember correctly, Tupperware has a lifetime warranty. 

I'd like to get a replacement bowl.

Certainly, Sir. Do you have the old one?

No.

We can't replace without the broken one.

It didn't break.

Then what happened to it?

Best I can figger, it evaporated.

Evaporated?

Yeah. Or something like that. I have the receipt, so I paid for it. It's just not there anymore.

Perhaps you used it for storage.

For storage?

Yes, for your nuts. Or bolts.

Nah, I checked the attic and there are no nuts OR bolts.

Something else, then?

Hey - don't look at me with that superior tone and tell me I'm the first person who ever came to you with disappearing containers.

I can't offer you a replacement for disappeared items, but would you like some sex?

No thank you, I'm married.

Oh, sworn off sex completely then......

So there's the zombie dishes, the disappearing containers and the life-sucking couch. Are you ready to stop by for a while?

Don't even think, for a moment, that it's over, no sir, not at all.

Just this very evening:

Do you know why there are condoms on the bed?

WHAT?

Why are there are condoms on the bed?

We don't use condoms.

That's why I was wondering. 

No idea.

...and I went back to making dinner.

• We have a place for everything; it just changes every few hours.
• We thought we'd sage the house to clear it. Her mom suggested an exorcist.