All I Want for Christmas is Headache Relief

Mariah Carey is turning her song "All I Want for Christmas is You" into an animated movie with herself narrating. Because the world is crying out for it.  I know this because the local Fox morning show brought in yet another Yak Show Special Guest to tell us all about it.

Speaking of Hard Hitting News, Fox just aired their third segment on Flashy Nails with Sparkly Bits. This segment features a teaser, followed by two experts from a local nail salon applying these scandalous fake nails to the reporter's short and mangled nails. This is a breaking story that no doubt will involve international Special Reports every thirty minutes, with other networks gearing up their own coverage. When the story is beaten to death, which some will argue has already transpired, Mariah Carey will reportedly do a movie about it, with herself narrating.

• are you ready for the latest Big Controversy? A white man has been accused of Cultural Appropriation for painting a picture of a black man. I never studied sociology but this means something (aside from reaching Peak Stupidity).

A great feature of cell phones is the ability to install software and change things. For example, the standard Android keyboard and I do not get along. I installed a different one (after wading through hundreds of them, primarily concerned with emojis), with which I got on a little better. Here is where I start to blaspheme: I have a really good relationship with the keyboard on my work iDevice. While the thunder dies away, I have no idea why this is. It has tiny little keys, while I keep going larger with the Android keyboards.

Just for fun, I searched for an iDevice keyboard for Android. I installed the most popular one, which immediately started phoning home to China (I use No-Root Firewall, which tells me these things). This is what will happen to you if you install crappy software. Clue#1: subtle to hilarious English mistakes in the description. Check the privacy policy and whatever else is listed at the bottom of the software description. Also check reviews, making sure to look for English mistakes or obvious shills. Stick with popular software companies.

• In news guaranteed to amuse, The Turkish Hacking Family group claims to have access to over 300 million iCloud accounts and is threatening to remotely wipe this data unless Apple pays a ransom ($75,000 in crypto currency or $200,000 in iTunes gift cards). The deadline is April 7. Whether or not this threat is real, Apple is advising everyone to change their iCloud password and enable two-step authentication. This may or may not be the same group that is involved in The Fappening 2.0, exposing pictures of celebrities.

A Utah man was killed and his wife injured in the London Islamist terror attack. This won't go over well with the Brits but maybe it's time to arm... the police and other authorities aren't providing much cover here and ultimately it's up to a person to defend himself and his family. Something to think about..

I owe a heartfelt apology to the Swiss, who I accused of the London attack. Turns out it was a Muslim.

• I am a big fan of Android Forums. Lots of information and assistance for any android device. They just got hacked and a very small percentage of accounts lost a few bits of information - one report said it was forty. Guess who's one of the forty? Yup.

On the Stupid News File, after the obnoxious outside host kissed a camel, they ran a promo for a wedding dress show. One look at the lady in the dress said man. Yup, she's a transexual. Marrying another transexual. Hey, do what makes you happy, but the math here is staggering.  He has a full beard, meanwhile I can't grow hair on the top of my head.

• Just the other day, the Senate voted 50(R) to 48(D) to allow ISPs to sell your personal data. This is the headline but it's caught up in a different topic, namely letting regulations apply to all entities equally. Regardless, it's just your privacy. Early word is that the best way to prevent this is to use a VPN. Here's some info on how your information is collected.

If you're traveling from certain Muslim countries to the US/UK, you'll need to stow your laptop. In Serious Anti-Terrorism News, the US/UK have decided that you cannot use or carry your laptop to the US from certain countries. Authorities claim that this measure is not based on any intelligence. Well, it sure seems like a stupid measure to implement otherwise. And let's face it - it's going to be a problem regardless of where it goes boom. Security Theater.

• Two weeks after Failed Snowmageddon 2017, nobody has piled additional snow on my car. For this I am grateful. No local authorities have been involved but we have called in Cthulu to make a small statement to the (allegedly) adult miscreant neighbors.

Someone discovered a dishwasher with a web server. A web server. When it breaks or gets hacked (which it will), you have to get web server updates from a dishwasher company. What could possibly go wrong?  To be fair, this is an industrial machine for hospitals, which are fast becoming a rich target for hackers. This will not end well.

Antivirus company F-Secure released this list of most-used login/password combinations used to hack their honeypot (decoy for the purposes of collecting information) machines. Please don't use these.

• Good article on hack-proofing your smart phone. If you're lazy, you won't like this.

I'm in the middle of intensive training for this event!

Still Not Handling This Morning Thing Well

In case you were fretting that there had been no major hacks in the news lately, I've got you covered. A security expert warned Congress that DC's T-Mobile wireless network was hacked. The Department of Homeland Security was notified and would provide no further information.  This shows the dangers of using T-Mobile, living in DC, and talking to DHS.

• Check out this shelf of store-brand cereals. It was described as an old English army major, trying to find a euphemism for gay men.

The Super Sleuths of Edina, Minnesota's police department, are working a case of a (failed) fraudulent $28,500 wire transfer. So they went to court to get the Google searches of the entire city. The entire city. You're shaking your head - I can tell. It gets better: the judge granted it. It's bad enough that law hasn't caught up with the internet.. neither have the judges. And let's not tell them that Google isn't the only search engine. This is our future.

• President Trump released a requested budget. If you are alive, you've heard about it. One of the interesting parts is the cutoff of the National Endowment for the Arts. This is where the government gives a lot of money to artists to produce art. Already the arts community has weighed in, screaming that art will die without federal funding. This is complete doggie doo. The government has no business in the arts (or healthcare, but that's a different argument). People interested in art can pay for it, like buying music or going to the theater. This move not only saves tax money (for the armed forces, in this case), but it's downright libertarian.
• Another false argument, designed to cut off funding, is that the artists produce total crap. Well, yes, one can argue that Pisschrist is total crap (urine would be a more accurate description), but if art is to be funded, should there be a Taste Requirement? Isn't art subjective? I don't like what passes for art anyway. A Picasso line drawing of a hand holding flowers? Art?
• But then there's that part of the budget that cuts funds to Meals on Wheels...

If you have an internet-connected (Internet of Things!) security camera, CCTV equipment, or network recorders from AVTech, you're in deep doo-doo. It can be hacked, meaning it will be hacked. The manufacturer was alerted in October 2016 and has not responded. The servers used are located in South Korea.  There are no recommendations at the moment, although at least Trend Micro antivirus will detect it. If I had one of these devices, I'd pull it immediately.

• RIP Chuck Berry. Play on.

In other Hacking News, there's a Dark Web vendor selling three sets of five million Yahoo and Gmail accounts, complete with decrypted passwords.  They all seem to be from previous breaches of the systems.

• Next time you're in San Francisco, visit the famous Haight-Ashbury section and see the brand new Ashbury Tech. It's a computer store. No, it's a head shop. No, it's a computer store AND head shop! They were in the tobacco business for twenty three years and are expanding to computers. Hey, the price on that system seems a little high...

If you shop at Saks Fifth Avenue, there's a good chance your personal data was accidentally made public. The data was discovered on the store's website in plain text. You do NOT store ANYTHING in plain text, lest something stupid or malicious happen. So all of my readers who shop at Saks... sorry, I'll stop....

• The Fappening 2.0 is upon us. Remember the hack and leak of many celebrities' iDevices, turning loose all sorts of private, sometimes naked photos? They're at it again. Now that I have performed my important notification duties, I need to offer caution if you happen to be online and happen to accidentally click on a link to view these pictures. Don't. Many of the links are malware. Any link that asks you to install software to view pictures should set off red flags to begin with. At very least, hover over the links to see where they really go. Better yet, just don't.
• In the interest of Science and investigation, so I can offer warnings if there is a security risk, I have viewed some of these pictures. You can thank me later. There are indeed quite a few Emma Watson pictures. Before you hurt yourself, they consist entirely of her trying on bathing suit-like outfits. One Redditor commented that she looks much better in clothes and I'm forced to agree. 

Because cancer has been cured and world peace has broken out, we turn our attention to technical term scrubbing. The terms "blacklist" and "whitelist" are starting to cause a bit of a storm among groups who tend to cause a bit of a storm. So if you come across any Fascist Agent of Oppression, you can instruct them to use the terms "blocklist" and "safelist". My mind goes back [wayback music] to the days when hard drives were master and slave....

• I've discovered that my wife's pocketbook is like Dr. Who's Tardis: larger on the inside than the outside. link for people with too much time on their hands.

Welcome to the second day of spring. We're celebrating by digging the car out of the snow.

• The Internet of Things strikes again.  Got a Google Nest camera? You got a problem. Bluetooth, which is required to set the device up, cannot be turned off.  This means that anyone who can get within Bluetooth range can shut down the camera's recording capabilities for 60-90 seconds. You know, long enough for someone to slip by. They do not have access to video. Google was notified in October 2016 and promptly sprung into inaction. One of the issues is that you cannot turn Bluetooth off. As I mention (frequently), this is not going to be pretty.

An email from Wellesley professors states that controversial speakers "impose on the liberty of students" by "enabling the bullying of disempowered groups". This would explain why the students are the way they are. Safe Spaces for all! The right not to be offended! Real Life is going to be quite a shock for these snowflakes.

• Philadelphia District Attorney Seth Williams is in trouble. A long trail of 'gifts' has been uncovered, with Williams doing favors and corrupting justice. The criminality dates back to his first month in office. This once again puts Philthy on the national stage, once again in a negative light. The only thing more head-shaking than Philly Corruption is listening to Philly prosecutors pronounce the charges. Jag-wire? And a custom-made couch for four grand. You can buy a regular couch for four grand. Watch the Philly Follies on national news near you.

If you're using LastPass password keeper, there's a serious vulnerability.

• On the local Fox morning show, they brought in a special reporter for a two-part in-depth series on new flashy nails with shiny bits on them. Hard hitting coverage, from people who say q-pon.

Marshall the cocker continues his rounds to specialty veterinary practitioners in the area. For those following along at home, he had to see an Ear/Nose/Throat vet for a procedure to open up his small ear canals, due to constant infections, requiring constant medicines. This failed, due to a problem around anesthesia. Since the surgeon has no specialist for this, it's off to another specialist/hospital, continuing all of the expensive medicines. The second operation is scheduled. Meanwhile, it's difficult to get the oral meds into him because we have to put it into food and he will only eat people food for a few days before spitting it out. Poor Marshall never had a health problem until his cat died. It's like he's competing for highest vet bill with his deceased diabetic cat.