Showing posts with label nist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nist. Show all posts

Monday, January 6, 2020

UFOs - Under my Bed!!


  • I'm really impressed by people giving back. There are countless stories of people giving back to their college by providing scholarships.
  • Now it's my turn: I'm providing 2 scholarships to No College, which I attended immediately after high school.
  • British schools have lost over a million dollars because the donor wanted his money to go to people of his own background. Interesting article.



Dear lefty:

  • Are you going to pursue schooling this year, like you said?
  • I said schoolgirls.





Speaking of UFOs, NIST, the National Institute of Standards and Technology, just digitized the bullets that killed JFK. It's been 50 years, so there's a tiny sad giggle factor to this. This is actually an interesting, possibly (eventually) helpful idea. They're using the 2 fragments from the actual bullets from the neck and back of the head. They also include the 'stretcher bullet,' which was found lying near Governor Connally's stretcher.

If you step back and take a look, you see an interesting see-saw effect. On the one side, things are being done to research, store, and solve. On the other side.. well... it's less of a see saw effect than half a see saw effect. One side moves up and down, while the other side stays unmoving.




  • Grinch Award, 2019 Closeout: Special Olympics NY hacked, phishing emails sent to donors. 



Dear Wife:
I send you this brief note not in the spirit of apology, but in the spirit of explanation. You prepared your famous Mexican dip, with the beans, cheese, and salsa. I had a small taste this morning.  It was even better than I remember. I will be incommunicado while I finish the last 75% of it. After that, try looking for me in the bathroom.  Love, lefty.



  • A study found apps don't provide reliable help for suicide prevention.
  • Ummm... perhaps we're relying just a hair too much on apps. Yes, absent any care whatsoever, in minimal cases, the apps can help. Don't get your psych advice from an app. In an emergency, wrong numbers for hotlines aren't helpful.
  • I don't get help from plumbing apps, so if I'm having trouble, I'll likely use my phone to actually call for help.



Curious as to how the PinePhone is coming along? The $149 phone with no connections to Google or Apple? Here's what 4 different operating systems look like running on it. You can put whichever you like on it, or others. Just wait til the developers are done and it's ready for prime time.




  • Go surfing. You do it all day long. Those cookie notices that get in your way are a PITA. Today's was my favorite: We care about your privacy.
  • If you cared about my privacy, you'd leave me alone and eat your own cookies.




We're learning about Stealth technology. We're learning about how it was made (tested at Area 51). Some of the Stealth aircraft have been retired. Retired.. yet we're just hearing their stories. This work is many years old. The SR-71 Blackbird was used by the Air Force from 1964 to 1998. So what is in the chute now? The Stealth craft have all sorts of 'futuristic' features. What do current generation testing planes have?  I don't think we've seen any of this. Doesn't it make you wonder? [Note: I understand the need for secrecy in certain military projects]

To possibly answer my own question, there are a ton of triangle craft sightings. Remember: UFOs are unidentified. We don't know what they are and where they came from. We don't know who or what is driving them. There's speculation that the triangles are ours.

One thing we don't know (I think): how to go unbelievably fast and make instant 90 degree turns. In current aircraft, if that were possible, we'd become puddles against a side of the cockpit. Bodies can't take that kind of force. Something inside the craft has to nullify this force.

As far as we know, only helicopters hover.
What flew over Phoenix twice hovered and also flew very slowly. Unless we have an impossibly large craft that can hover, it's not ours.

Compare and contrast this with Skunkworks' Ben Rich (Skunkworks did the super secret stuff and Ben was the head), who said something to the effect of having the technology to take ET home.



  • Reminder: do NOT stick a USB stick into your computer. At all. Especially if you picked it up somewhere, like on the ground. Or stole it from a friend. You have no idea what's on it, but it could be a really nasty virus. Or something that silently takes over your PC and allows access to Bad Guys.



Today's word is gynecomastia. It means male breast growth.
Why do I bring this up?
Because of the claim that plant-based burgers will cause gynecomastia.
Read the whole article before you die snickering (like I almost did).




"We should not speak so that it is possible for the audience to understand us, but so that it is impossible for them to misunderstand us." Marcus Fabius Quintilianus


    • China jails scientists behind first genetically engineered babies.
    • and when they say jailed, they mean "gave them houses and larger salaries"




    Why is it the attractive women are the ones least suitable for relationships?
    On LivePD the cute ones are always the meth chicks (I like em skinny).
    And those famous female killers... Amanda Knox, Rachel Wade, Jodi Arias, Casey Anthony... if you saw them on the street, you'd look twice. It's just that one other thing, keeping you from asking.....  These girls just kill me.




    Today I identify as  a cocker spaniel







    Because I've been relatively good these past few months, I was allowed out of the house. Because I was allowed out of the house, it was gray and rainy. Not because it was gray and rainy, the car's panel sprouted a light that said AUTO. It was a new light. I like new things. Since it said AUTO, it didn't seem threatening. Since Penny wasn't in the car, I couldn't have her sniff it to figure out whether it was friend or foe. I pondered. Then I pondered some more. Then I drifted off to pondering other things, because I have the attention span of a newborn infant, but not quite as much. When I reached down for a drink, I came across a switch. This, too, was a new thing. The switch had a position called AUTO. Hey - that light said AUTO - was it a coincidence? Is anything a coincidence? Are there any coincidences? Not in my car, there ain't.  The switch said 2WD/Auto/blah. I sort of got the gist.. .one position gave the vehicle two wheel drive. The second position was AUTO, and the third shifted us into blah. Aside from blah, I think I had to the situation pretty well in hand. I flipped the switch to 2WD and, as if by magic, the AUTO light went out. Another mystery solved before breakfast. Let us not quibble that it was 3pm.. I still hadn't had breakfast.  Yeah, ok, it's a new to us car. We're still finding stuff in it. Sadly, it's a year older than our existing car, so it has no AUX IN jack either. I am beginning to suspect the brain-radio interface will be standard in cars before I get an AUX IN. To our benefit, the cd player will play data CDs. To my agitation, the humongous library of blank cd's I have contains no blank ones. It was much easier when I worked at places that would give me spindles to take home. So we're stuck in place, with nothing to listen to in two cars but broadcast radio. I know this is a crime somewhere, perhaps according to the Geneva Convention, right after that nazi stuff.

    Because we were going to dinner after the mall, all sorts of interesting food and treat places that weren't there before opened. Each one had something I needed desperately. I remain not-paranoid, and at no time did I feel it was personal, as it usually is when they do this to me.

    I'm at one of those in between ages.... young enough to go into Spencer's, old enough not to get some of the references. To be fair, the Led Zeppelin shirt was pretty cool, as was the Hendrix. There were some boffo hats.. one was done in the script of the golf ball company Titleist. It said Titties. I have a relative who would piss himself if he saw it, but wouldn't have the balls to wear it while golfing.  The other had was multi-colored, not particularly attractive, and said TRANS on it. Hmmmm..... what are the implications of wearing a Trans hat in public? Well, I'm not really attractive, so people already think there's something 'different' about me. I guess it depends on what they think of trans people. If Mrs lefty wore it, that would confuse people. She's a woman from birth, no doubt. I might need more time on this. If I wear it to work, maybe I can get a promotion. Guess I better find out if Trans people are a protected group or not. It could backfire spectacularly.

    *note to trans people: I do not hate you anymore than I hate any other person or group. It's none of my business what you do, or what you might want to do. Go in peace.

    There must have been a cell phone giveaway at the mall, because half the people there were talking on them. Keep in mind that I've had cell phones from the Beam Me Up, Scotty style Motorolas, so they're not foreign to me. Welding one to your ear is. I know everyone loves their cell phones, but what kind of conversation absolutely must take place and cannot wait til you're out of the mall?

    Maybe the cynics are right when they say tv, then cell phones have changed our lives, mostly our attention span, forever. One guy was in the mall with his sister, talking very loudly about cell phones. He's probably one of those people who talk LOUDLY on cell phones for reasons nobody knows. Mrs lefty does that too. In fact, when she makes a call, she goes down to the sub-basement, where there's a small, padded, soundproofed room, and makes her calls there. I still hear them sometimes. It's wonderful that she's so considerate, though. I'd be horrified and spend my time figuring out how to be quiet enough to not disturb anybody. She tries to get out of earshot. Same effect, I guess. Unless I need her for something, then I have to run a few floors down, to the sub-basement, where she's on the phone, in the small, sound-proofed room. I bang on the door. Still talking. I scream. Still talking. When she finishes the call, several hours later, my eyes are staring at each other and I'm screaming because she hasn't opened the door. She tells me it's soundproofed - she couldn't hear me knock.


    I'm looking for words to describe shopping with Mrs lefty.
    Ok, start with a short yellow bus, full of 8 year old kids who just had their first coffee and candy bar combo. The bus trip isn't bumpy at all - they're just jumping up and down in their seats. Line them up outside the short bus, in size order, and march them into the store, stopping to tell Jonathan to stop asking the old ladies for cigarettes. Once inside the store, say START SHOPPING and watch them disappear in every possible direction, including up. Up is an interesting choice, as the store has no 2nd floor. Oh well, where there's caffeine, there's a way. Now imagine tracking each one down, across the entire humongous store. Hours later you have them back in line, and head off to shop. Along the way, each one wants to stop at a different display. At the same time. They try this, but never separate, so the loudest tail is wagging the dog, like some extremely large caterpillar with hiccups.

    So shopping with Mrs lefty is like that.


    Meanwhile, back at the mall....

    • The wife keeps disappearing around the corner to shop for new things. I used to chase her, but then I realized I have the shopping cart with her new clothes in it, so she'll find ME.
    • After stopping at every display, on the way to look at one thing, I voiced my impatience. "Ok, we'll go where you want to go."  Thank y... she had already disappeared.
    • Wife found a really nice top in white. She asks me what I think. I say no, white is merely a canvas for spaghetti sauce. Or ketchup.
    • NOTE: it may be 75% off, but 75% off doesn't make it any less ugly.
    • The sale section looked like a small nuclear explosion. Wife may have disappeared beneath some disgustingly green pants. At least I hope so, because they're moving.

    Men, just give it up. You have exactly zero hope of grokking women's clothes or stores. If you try, it will cause a severe headache, brought on by massive brain hemorrhage. 

    It's not enough that women have sizes, they have designations: women's, juniors, seniors, misses, divorced, and On the Hunt. Size 10 can be any actual size except 10. We don't have that problem: our clothes are over there, in the corner, in the Never Mind section. There are 2 pairs of pants, in generic size, plus one pair of shoes, that may or may not fit you. 

    No matter what either of you is looking for, it's ugly. Ugly never goes out of style.


    I try to learn one thing each time we go shopping. I work through the headache because I'm devoted to knowledge. Unfortunately I'm working against the flawed premise that I will eventually understand the topic. I just realized I'm self-deluded and I should have stopped this years ago... perhaps I just like the pain.

    What did I learn?
    Follow along - I can see your lids closing and some of you heading for the medicine cabinet...
    Last time there, Wife saw a rack of her favorite shirts. I brought her back to get some for xmas. I somehow managed to drag her, quickly, through only 12 stops, to the exact rack. When we finally arrived, I waved my arms expressively, to point out the exact rack... with a completely different set of shirts, bearing absolutely no resemblance to the shirts that were there last time. I stammered, flummoxed.

    She looked at me, without pause, and told me they were 'over there'.
    Over there?
    Yeah, they moved them.
    NO, they were HERE.
    Yes, they moved them.
    How do you know?
    They were on sale. Now these are on sale. And they're the wrong size.
    Hang on - they change locations and sizes?
    Yeah, they're over there.
    How do you know?  

    She dragged me halfway across the store, and there they were. In a completely different department, next to the mumus the morbidly obese women wear. Is this some sort of female homing device? If the rack were moved into the back room, would women know and storm the back room? I'm kidding - they'd demand their husbands storm the back room. Or worse, ask somebody.



    We had a very strange dinner. I was looking around, wondering if the police were going to be involved. Or maybe 13 of the top people in Corporate. We walked in and there was no line. The lady seated us immediately, asking where we'd like to sit. They had everything we ordered. It came out quickly. The waitress was great and sweet. The order arrived as-ordered - no mistakes. We paid, were warmly wished a good evening and happy new year. I thought for sure they were being robbed or something. I kept looking around for the flashing lights, or some hooded people with guns. Or the food inspectors. Maybe aliens. I have no idea, but this sort of thing never happens, so we spent the entire dinner waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you think about it, no dinner we eat at a restaurant is ever going to be good because it's either wrong or it's too good and we're waiting to be poisoned or something...




    Heroes of the Stupid

    The couple heard noise downstairs, called the police, the guy got his gun, the police arrived. He was called downstairs because his Roomba had switched itself on and was banging into stuff. On the bright side, Google now has his floor plan.


    Sharon Stone (yes) was blocked from the dating app Bumble because of several reports that her profile was fake.   In unrelated news, Mrs lefty said Bumble had better not be on my phone.




    SJW Meanderings

    Transgender man gives birth to non-binary partner's baby with female sperm donor.  If you can follow this, please avoid leaving a comment to explain it to us.







    Thursday, July 26, 2018

    But Who Will MOW? [shopping edition]

    There are indications that Hillary Clinton is planning a 2020 run.
    It has been pointed out that in the past, I have been unkind to her. In order to make things fair, I have put together some campaign slogans for her, which she's welcome to use as my gift:

    • Lean and Mean: I only eat 4 babies a day
    • Clinton/Cheney 2020: Satan is on our side
    • Because Queen Elizabath ain't the only reptilian on the planet
    • My husband fucked a lot of ugly women. I'm going to fuck you ALL.





    "lefty must've ordered something online."
    How do you know?
    "He seems very very mad and is about to unleash it on the blog."

    For a moment there, I was the AntiTech: electrons somehow flowed around me, refusing to come near enough to actually perform any useful work.

    I knew we needed Jeff Beck tickets - the concert is coming up. Missing Jeff Beck is unthinkable. It's a religious pilgrimage.  Nobody in the house retains well, so I was all set to go, when I finally remembered what happens when I try to spend money online.... good friggin' luck. I really need to make notes with what finally worked, although that's subject to change.

    So I started to shake a little, feeling that dread in the pit of my stomach, as if I had somehow signed up to fight Mike Tyson. Only Mike Tyson can theoretically be beaten: ticket vendors cannot. There is a distinct prejudice against linux, no matter what they tell you. They say to use X or Y browser. Here's some news, guys.. neither of them work, but they fail in different places.

    On linux, my wide open browser, with no protection, accepting cookies, did not work. The next one found seats(!), let me select them, then sat there, with "Getting your seats ready" on the screen. Five minutes later, I used a Windows machine to do the same thing. It got past the hump and even to where I pay! I put in my credit card information, hit PURCHASE, then it told me I hadn't selected a card. Of course I selected a card - I spend the last few minutes typing in my information. To make this more fun, there is a timer. If you exceed the allotted time, it releases your seats and you have to start over again. So I typed in my info again, and again it told me I needed to put in payment info. I'm using Internet Explorer here, folks... what's the problem? I exceeded the time limit and was well past the end of my patience. There was much screaming.

    I gave up on the first browser, which was still "Getting your seats ready" and tried a third browser, this time on linux. FINALLY I managed to select AND pay for the tickets. I felt like a conquering hero. A conquering hero who was completely beyond anyone's tolerance for absolute friggin' nonsense. I was ready to set fire to an orphanage by this point, Live Nation. All I had to do was print the tickets. You know where this is going, right? No paper. Reach down to a convenient pack of paper, pull out a handful of paper. With holes punched in it. Apparently you can buy pre-punched paper by the ream, not that I remember buying any. Go into next room to a pile of paper and promptly knock over a bunch of paper, none of it blank. The next pile was bright red paper, which is always welcome by the nice folks at the door. Finally got the white paper and printed two sets of tickets; the second to keep in the car when I forget the originals but am already at the stadium. Sometimes I outsmart myself.

    So it's the next day and I am instructed to pick up some food at the store.

    At the store, I call Wife to ask a question. Nothing. Zip. Not a ring. Hmmm... maybe it's my phone.  Nope, good signal. Try again.... right to voicemail. Try a third time.. nothing. People ask my wife to let them know when I go food shopping because they like to watch what happens when I get agitated. We've all seen some person talking on a phone in a store. We haven't all seen someone using the phone as a sledgehammer, banging it on shelves and the floor, cursing up a cloud of #*@&@#%^ and questioning his effect on the universe. Just leave the kids at home, ok folks?

    At home, I casually mention I called four times. When I say casually mention, I mean her hair actually blew horizontally and stayed there for 15 minutes, while she covered her ears from the sheer volume.  "But my phone has been right here the whole time and hasn't rung."  I believe her. I show her my outgoing call log. She believes me.

    Fifteen minutes later I discover that someone 'assisted' her by putting the phone on airplane mode so she could rest. There is no bit of helpful technology that we can't screw up.


    We already know I take a lot of crap for my socks. They're white bloody socks - how offensive or silly could they possibly be? They're the wrong height. I think they're supposed to either disappear into my shoe or come to my knees, like a gang member. Homey don't play dat. If I can buy the socks at CostCo, they're obviously not from the previous century.

    It's time for some shorts and tank shirts. Since were just past the first major heat wave, I'm afraid the stores won't be carrying shorts now.. perhaps fall or winter gear. Cuz you don't want to buy summer clothes in the summer.  And after I buy them, they're going to be the wrong length. Fortunately I won't take a lot of ribbing because I rarely leave the house. Because I grew up when I grew up, my shorts came down to roughly half my calf. Unfortunately someone decided that men's shorts needed to come to their knees or lower, like some sort of a skirt, again for gang members (or transvestites). I retain some shorts from before, but I am forbidden to wear them outside the house. Fair enough. I don't want to be the Weird Dude who wears 'child molester' shorts. I have two pairs of shorts in skirt length, in case I get caught out of doors.

    My wife, a very smart and tolerant woman, enables me by finding swim shorts, which don't come in skirt length. Then I get laughed at for being out of the house in a bathing suit. Are you seeing a pattern here? Using our collective gray matter, we figured a 2nd hand store might be the place for me. People dumping their clothes from the 70s and 80s might agree with my very advanced fashion sense. Let's face it: it's only a matter of time til they come back in style, as if they were new and no one had ever seen them before. Of course it's difficult to get to the 2nd hand store when you're voluntarily agoraphobic and your wife is 12 hours behind your schedule. I'm typing, it's sunny out, and she's sleeping. I'm starting to think, after 20 years, it's personal. I catch on quick.

    Knowing two of us being awake and leaving the house is something that just can't happen due to laws of physics, it was suggested I go online. Since I catch on real gud, it's only just occurring to me what a boon online shopping is. Never mind that a former VP at work said she loved it, about 20 years ago. Never mind that you can't try it on - just return it! There are pictures, largely indicating the shorts are not as short as I want, but still not extreme skirts. I like the concept of finding what you want by typing it in. Sometimes I'm really confused at the results for shorts, though...

    NO.

    makes your package look bigger.  Buy 2 for your bra!


    CHILDREN visit Amazon











    searching for men's shorts?
















    Then there's the bike shorts (padded or no). For some reason, you are not allowed to get on a bicycle without these shorts. I know a female who wears these. I don't laugh at her because she wears them well. Since I don't ride a bike or even own a helmet, I'm not wearing those shorts. Oh yeah, no one wants to see me in them either. I'd get arrested, then the entire local police force would laugh at me. There are cargo shorts too. They seem ok to me, but are the butt of 25% of the jokes on social media, so they're out.  There are running shorts, stretch shorts, flat front shorts (the others aren't flat in the front?), performance shorts, Wyoming shorts (presumably not available in 48 states and New Jersey), and one that sounds particularly like shorts I should have: dry print attack shorts. Shorts... FETCH! Shorts... ATTACK! In blue camo, no less. I have a soft spot for Ted Nugent but I ain't wearing his shorts. Tri shorts, golf shorts, Pounce short, and of course, workout fashion comfy shorts. So close.. if they just called them comfy shorts, I'd buy them. Workout shorts sound like they expect too much from me, and I wouldn't be caught dead in anything called fashion. I lead trends; I do not follow. Yes, I lead from 20 years back, but dammit, I still lead.

    I had a much easier time with men's tank shirts. Or at least I thought I did.  They kinda screwed up by making the models look fit. The ones that weren't fit had muscles on their muscles and looked like their day job involved pulling tree stumps from the ground by hand. They called them athletic shirts. They'd sell more if they called them couch shirts. Or dad shirts. Or no air conditioning shirts.

    There's one thing I will not buy online: sneakers. It's not that I have a complex, difficult to fit foot.... it's that I have flat feet. And when I say flat feet, I mean the National Institute of Science and Technology uses my feet as a reference standard for flat. Companies calibrate delicate equipment to my feet. They're kinda wide too. Like a triple Q. I'm told many people wear a size 11 3/4. You'll like this: the best fitting sneakers I found are at CostCo. Of course they are - everything good comes from CostCo. My brother went in for hot dogs and came out with an airplane. However, CostCo got wind of my affinity for their sneakers and promptly stopped carrying them. They won't tell me that.. instead they claim they're out of stock and will be back 'in about a week or two.' They ask if I'd like a track shoe or a running shoe. Again, the marketing mistake. I want a sitting on the couch with the laptop shoe. Or an occasionally going to the kitchen for a soda shoe. The most heavy shoe I'll need is the going to Dairy Queen for a malt shoe.