Inpeach!

OJ Simpson has been granted parole.
He told the judge that "he'd kill to get out of there." - Gilbert Gottfried
Hide your collectibles.  - twitter

• Just a short time after the suicide of Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington (singer: Linkin Park, STP) hung himself. The only question remaining is what these rock stars knew about Hillary Clinton.

It's somewhat unlikely that you'll get to visit the International Space Station, but you can do a Google Street View of it. Spoiler: the view is inside only and there are no aliens visible.

• In a 2015 general election in England, an investigation into allegations of pedophilia against a councillor was stalled to help the Labour Party. After the election, the councillor was convicted of downloading child porn. Do you have any idea how high up this goes?

There are hotels that charge you fifty dollars a day to store personal items in the mini fridge. Guess where... if you guessed Detroit, you'd be wrong. California, yes. Besides - goes to Detroit voluntarily?

• There is a coffee shop called Bitty and Beau's Coffee, which only employs people with disabilities. That really says something.
• Of course there's going to be that one ass who gets upset because his order is wrong. He yells, "What are you, retarded?" The entire store comes to a stop and answers, "Why yes, we are."

Bored? Go to Familytreenow.com - once the shock is over...
Go to https://www.familytreenow.com/optout to get yourself removed.

• Zakk Wylde, professional wild man, sometime guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne, solo artist and founder of Black Label Society has put forth his own line of coffee. Yeah, it's a bit more expensive. We picked up Valhalla and Death Wish. Both are medium roast, as opposed to our usual french roast. Death Wish has rather a lot of caffeine in it. I tried both, which were kinda light, as expected, but good-tasting. The Death Wish did not have me banging against the walls, which is most fortunate. The story goes that Zakk used to drink a cup of Death Wish before shows. I suspect that buzz is normal.

One of the greatest inventions of the 2000s, the Roomba, will actually spy on you. The company will be selling 'maps' of your house. But it's ok, you have to opt-in. The cat, meanwhile, will sell the same info for five cents less than the Roomba.

• An American and a Swedish company have asked some of their employees to voluntarily get chipped, for the purposes of entering the building, logging into their computers, and cashless purchases from the company store. George Orwell and Christians are screaming from the grave and in person. What could possibly go wrong?

In wonderful news, Adobe has announced the death of Flash. No updates will be produced after 2020. This means the web and any other users of Flash will have to decide what they're using next. Then the hacking will start on that. The wicked Flash is dead!

• The DEFCON Hacking Convention is taking place in Las Vegas. Having learned from past years, many local vendors are shutting down their networks out of sheer terror. UPS Store will not accept anything on USB. The only store that is safe is Starbucks - where do all geeks go all day?

Very few in the country (and outside) have not been paying attention to the press and the travails of President Trump. We all know I'm a libertarian and think that anyone was better than Hillary. The press coverage, plus online commentary, is ridiculously biased, if not outright lies. Yes, Fake News exists.

I suspect if Trump stood on an earthmover and made a short speech about how great America is, we would see the following:

• Trump stood on a what he called an earthmover. In reality, it's a dump truck.  - NBC News
• Drumpf is an idiot - twitter
• The president, today, spoke from a piece of construction equipment, obviously provided by Russia.  - CNN
• That's not even the real color of an earthmover - here's a link to paint samples from that year of production.  - Reddit
• We have evidence that the bolt that holds the upper part of the mirror on was made in China. Kim Kardashian told us.  - DailyMail
• I stole an earthmover, smashed a few cars, and tipped it over. - FB video
• Obama did it better -  Huffington Post
• We need Obama more than ever.  - twitter
• The president bravely stood on a symbol of American engineering. - Fox news
• Did you see the way his shoes were tied? INPEACH!  -FB
• Today the president cut off all aid to the poor.  - CNN
• This proves that the president is an antisemite  - Jewish Defense League
• He is full of hate.  - Southern Poverty Law Center
• He's a racist.  - Black Lives Matter
• Why were there no overweight, non-armpit shaving transgender women of color in the video?  - social justice warriors
• He is making America great again!  - Sean Hannity
• HE STOLE THE ELECTION - the Democrats. All of them.

*Inpeach: parody of the people who scream "IMPEACH" whenever Trump does something.

Whale Hunting in Arizona

Playboy magazine will be dropping (fully) nudes. Now when you say you only read it for the articles, you won't be lying. New format to start in March, Hefner to be out of business by April.

• Leonardo DiCaprio will produce a film based upon an as-yet-unwritten book about the Volkswagen diesel emissions scandal. BANG! VROOOOOM! POP!  FTWANG! OOF! Nonstop action! Just as soon as the book is written. All the action, suspense and naked ladies you'd expect from a movie about a book about emissions testing.

A Guatemalan mayor was lynched by a crowd. This is the kind of participatory democracy in which we need to be involved. It's a model for the future. It will also have the unintended effect of keeping politicians 'clean'.

• The president made some candid comments, noting that he finds American's common skepticism of government "paralyzing." Coming up, Dick Cheney upset that people think he's mean.

America's mayor, Rahn Emanuel, blames Chicago crime uptick on officers second-guessing themselves. Office of the Mayor: shoot first, ask questions later.

• The rapper T.I. says "World ain't ready for a female president."  Yeah, boy... dem bitches don't belong in da (White) House.

SELFIE NEWS: Selfie-obsessed millenials are increasing opting for plastic surgery to improve photos. I don't even have to do anything - this stuff comes out weekly and writes itself. And teens spend so much time texting that some miss sleep.

• Because there's an open-carry policy at the University of Texas, gun-grabbing students intend to openly carry sex toys. Guns and dildos - an educational dream come true.  At the risk of sympathizing, I say if more sex toys were used, less shootings would occur.

Ladies - if you sniff this particular phallus-shaped mushroom, you will be highly aroused and have a fifty percent chance of a spontaneous orgasm. Plant them everywhere! Peace on earth!

• NOT Ok, Google: if you talk to your phone (not curse) using "Ok, Google," please be aware that Google stores everything you say to it. This is allegedly for accuracy and definitely for advertising.  Don't take my word for it - go ask Google. You'll find a list of every command given to it. You can opt-out but everything still gets recorded - only with an (allegedly) anonymous ID. Oh, your location gets recorded regardless (it's also available for viewing) whenever you speak, search via Google, Google Maps or other apps that have access to your location. [What does lefty do? The same thing he always does - shut that shit off. I can't deny that talking to my phone would be more convenient, as would getting directions, but not at this price.]

John Schindler, a security expert and whistleblower who now writes for The Daily Beast, has claimed that a senior EU official from an undisclosed country also inquired about impeachment proceedings, saying that the nation believes Obama is not fit for office. Why is it only foreign countries that recognize this?

• Apparently there's a chronic shortage of air traffic controllers, which has reached crisis proportions. This does not bode well for air travel. When you consider the news recently, with ground stoppages, 'glitches', hardware issues, and a seriously dilapidated, insecure, single point of failure infrastructure, you do not have a safe, secure, reliable platform. Do you feel safe flying? Are we going to wait until things collapse completely before doing anything? Probably. I just hope no one gets hurt.
• IRONIC UPDATE: A U.S. Department of Homeland Security computer system that checks airline passengers against terrorism watch lists experienced a brief service disruption. 

Writer Salman Rushdie says violence against writers and a misplaced sense of political correctness pose new dangers to freedom of speech in the West. BUT WE HAVE SELFIE STICKS!!!!!!

• Florida man (of course) arrested for DUI in motorized wheelchair. Kentucky, embarrassed,wants its title back.

Tired of debates and political bullshit? The one thing every candidate agrees on: Punish Edward Snowden. You voted them in. Now vote them out.

• NOTE to my loyal readers: Ebola lingers in semen for up to nine months. Let's not let Ebola become the latest STD, ok?

SELFIE TIME - fatality edition!

• two men in the Ural Mountains posed for a photo while pulling the pin from a hand grenade.
• a university graduate died after trying to take a selfie while hanging from a Moscow bridge.
• a 17-year-old boy fell to his death from a rooftop as he tried to take his picture for his Instagram page
• In the US recently a man died after shooting himself in the neck while taking a selfie. 
• officials at the Waterton Canyon in Colorado were forced to close the park after several people were caught getting a little too close to the wildlife.
• at Yellowstone National Park, officials issued a warning after five separate incidents of selfie-takers being gored by bison.
• In Australia, a rock that looks like a wedding cake was fenced off because too many people were climbing it to take pre or post-wedding photos of themselves.

non-fatalities (yet)

• a man taking a selfie while a bull charges at him
• a man posing with a lion 
• someone taking a picture in front of a train
• a woman taking a selfie of herself and her toddler while driving.

TOONZ:

PURE UNOBTANIUM: The question of where John Lennon's iconic Gibson J-160E acoustic/electric guitar went has been answered. The guitar will go up for auction, with John's widow getting half and donating it to her charity. The guitar is set to auction for between $600,000 and $800,000. Paul's stuff is cheaper and left-handed.

Original Lynyrd Skynyrd guitarist Gary Rossington (63) is under observation after a heart attack. Gary had previous heart trouble. Being a member of Lynyrd Skynyrd is even more dangerous than going hunting with Dick Cheney.

Having taken an obscure turn here and there, it's time to go mainstream.
The Allman Brothers have a very long history in music, as well as a lot of members. Although broken up as of this past January, the band will live forever. Shortly after achieving fame, original member Duane 'Skydog' Allman died, followed by bassist Berry Oakley. More recently, original guitarist Dickey Betts either left or was politely asked to leave, going back to his side project, Dickey Betts and Great Southern. At the time of their dissolution, Derek Trucks (slide guitar wizard and nephew of original drummer Butch Trucks) went back to the Tedeschi Trucks Band and Warren Haynes continues with his myriad projects (solo, solo band, Gov't Mule).

The definitive Allman Brothers live album is Live at the Fillmore. It comes right out of the gate with Statesboro Blues, featuring Duane's lyrical slide guitar and the ever soulful vocals of one of rock's best, Gregg Allman. Enjoy this full album and rejoice in some of the greatest performances in rock.

An Allmans staple is One Way Out. There's a man down there, might be your old man, I don't know.


Jessica, named after Dickey Betts' daughter, is a really hot instrumental which you'll recognize. Also featured on this track is a previous week's focus, Les Dudek. Instrumentals have an impossible time getting on radio but this one made it.

One of my favorite tracks is In Memory of Elizabeth Reed. I love the way it starts out slowly and ramps up to the solos. I love to jam along with this, pretending I'm with the band. I figure if you're going to dream, aim high.

An even better pretend rock star jam is Hot'Lanta. The interplay of the two drummers is apparent, plus the normal guitar heroics.

Guess which one is me....

A Turning Point

Yesterday we witnessed an historical moment - a turning point for the country.  The egregious display of chutzpah by our president, for the children.  I am sad for my country.

We do not elect a king; we elect a president.  The penchant for the last two presidents to rule by fiat is alarming and becomes worse with time.  We have a legislative branch of congress, whether or not they accomplish anything.

None of the new rules or legislation would have prevented the massacre in Connecticut.

Those who trade essential liberty for safety deserve neither.  Look at the TSA for an example.  We are not safer for their incursion.

If gun control worked, Chicago, the home of the president, would be the safest state in the country.  It isn't.

Why does Homeland Security need 1.4 billion more rounds of ammunition at the very point the government is making it harder for citizens to arm themselves?

Gun crime went down after D.C. decriminalized handguns.

Our own attorney general, Eric Holder, presided over illegal gun transfers to drug gangs in Mexico.

The problem is a problem of mental health.  Connecticut failed to pass mental health legislation months before the shooting.  New legislation turns doctors into extensions of the police.

Obama and Feinstein have no trouble with assault rifles when they are deployed to protect them and their children.  Feinstein wants handguns taken away too.  There is an agenda, whether you care to see it or not.

As set forward in the Second Amendment, we already have the right to keep and bear arms.  The government has no right to infringe, which they just did.  The current administration is intent on destroying the Constitution and Bill of Rights.

For Obama to quote the Second Amendment out of context shows his contempt for his countrymen.

It's time to use what democratic process we have left to let our representatives and the White House know how we feel.

It's time to impeach the president (we did it to Clinton for less) and recall congress.

Let us avoid a Rush To Do Something and instead use common sense.

When the Constitution was written, a well-regulated militia was required to protect us from tyranny.  At that time, it was the tyranny of England's king.  In other words, we need to protect ourselves, not against just the lawless, but against the tyranny of our own government, bent on ridding us of our civil liberties.

We need to remain civil and work within the framework of the law.