It's Raining Twinkies. Or Minions

Israel hacked into antivirus provider Kaspersky, where they discovered the FSB (Russian spy agency) has been, along with NSA spy tools and viruses. Kaspersky said they don't help any governments nor will they. Kaspersky detected a breach and reported on it. Israel warned the US in 2015. Quick as you can say 'chrysanthemum,' two years later, the US government banned Kaspersky from its networks. At this point, no one has proven Kaspersky to be involved in any of this directly. Regardless, they've been smeared and implicated and their business is going to take a hit.  It's like James Bond on acid.

• October 11 is National Coming Out Day. I'd like to make an announcement. It's been very difficult on me for many years, but it's time to reveal myself to my readers for what I am. From this day forward, I will be known as heterosexual.

The Department of Treasury denies domestic spying.

The Office of Intelligence and Analysis (OIA) is under Treasury and examines foreign intelligence. However, there is evidence (twelve anonymous sources) that, like their friends in the NSA and CIA, it is spying domestically too.

The Department of Treasury denies domestic spying.

Banks and financial organizations are required to turn over information daily and the OIA has had its nose there.

The Department of Treasury denies domestic spying.

Leaks made it to the government and Buzzfeed. Congressional inquiries went unanswered.

The Department of Treasury denies domestic spying.

These departments and this government are completely out of hand. If the opportunity for expansion exists, they'll take it. If the opportunity for spying exists, they'll take it. Any attempted oversight is ignored, stymied, and laughed at. There is no accountability.  And we're paying for the privilege of being spied upon.

• A New York man threatened a Las Vegas style shooting at a Denver company. He stated that he would get on a plane and fly there if they didn't pay him $100. I would have demanded at least enough to cover the plane ticket.

Google admits its new smart speaker was eavesdropping on customers, after a reviewer caught it uploading everything it heard to Google. Google says they have fixed the 'bug', by which they mean they've made it much harder to detect. People are paying for a device that will let Google (or Amazon) spy on you. I am shocked. SHOCKED, that Google eavesdrops.

• The Boy Scouts have announced they will admit girls into the Cub Scouts and establish a program for older girls. This is a big step forward. It's quite original.. you could almost call it something like... girl scouts. That would be a good name.

Faceyspaces went down for a bit the other day. Production in all sectors of America went up and brain cell loss went down 80%.

• I'm home, on a late business call. A long time ago, I learned to mute my microphone at all times, unless I'm speaking. I learned this because it keeps me from imitating my boss' accent or injecting 'witty' comments about the current topic.
• BANG. BANG BANG.
• BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
• BANG BANG.
• BANG BANG BANG BANG.
• I noticed some noise.
• BANG BANG BANG BANG
• Good thing my mic is muted.
• BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
• In any other house, this would be amusing or distracting. In my house, it's like a live-action cartoon.*
• Thump thump thump... HEY LEFTY...LEFTY...
• CAN YOU OPEN THE BATHROOM DOOR? I CAN'T GET IN.
• I quietly point to my phone, as if to say WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE $*#& ALONE - I'M ON AN IMPORTANT BUSINESS CALL. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG does not help my concentration and the boss likes when I listen to him.
• Thump thump thump.
• BANG BANG BANG
• BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG. Because if it doesn't work, keep trying the same solution. BANG BANG BANG BANG.
• Call ends, I take a look. Somebody locked the bathroom door. Gnomes, probably. Since this is a very secure lock, I can probably dislodge it with my Secret Lockpicking Kit.
• Most of my early life was spent looking for phillips screwdrivers. Since my religion forbids putting anything away after I use it, I could never find a phillips driver. Mind you, I had standard screwdrivers all over the place. Now that I'm grown (allegedly), I can only find phillips screwdrivers. Phillips drivers are the one driver that will not go in my Secret Lockpicking Kit.
• Since people keep giving me those really cool multitool knife jobbies, I found my most Swiss version, with the LED flashlight built in. I had to keep adjusting it because the LED would come on by itself. Gnomes, probably.
• After 15 minutes I managed to make the standard screwdriver come out to play and fired up the LED so I could see. POOF - the last forever, low power LED didn't work - the battery was kaput.
• One blind screwdriver insertion and twist later, the door was open and I was muttering to myself much more quietly and not even cursing more than normal. Good thing this lock is very secure.
• This would look like magic to the person requesting access to the bathroom, but she had disappeared during the uninterrupted portion of my work phone call. Gnomes, probably.

* My house is frequently cartoonish. Stuff happens that you often see in cartoons. While 'helping' me cook or do dishes, Marshall sits or lays on the kitchen floor. If I fill his bowl with food, he leaps up to follow me. Unfortunately the floor is some type of lineoleum and he can't get traction on it, causing him to keep trying over and over again, slipping each time. I keep waiting for the banging on pots sound effect that goes with this in cartoons.

The other day I managed to produce absolutely the most perfect, unavailable, cannot reproduce sight gag that ever existed. While taking out the trash, my view down was obstructed. I stepped on a push broom and the handle jumped right up and hit me in the face. You cannot make this happen even if you set it up perfectly, or you are one of the Three (dead) Stooges. Since my nose was not broken, all I could do was laugh (and start mentally typing it up for ThermionicEmissions). Dear readers, I live my life for you.

• "Fatphobia is violence", some fat lady opined online, complete with pictures of her being fat in lingerie. Words kill. In this case, pictures too.

This month's Microsoft patch includes a fix for a tiny issue. You can encrypt messages in Outlook. And if you do, they will encrypt, and the recipient will unencrypt them. The tiny issue is that, with the encrypted message is a plain text copy of the email. To their credit, Microsoft jumped right on this issue, which was discovered in May.

• This Harvey Weinstein affair is tragic and will continue to be in the news for a while. Aside from the heinous nature of his abuses is the heinous covering up by Harvey's famous people and news outlets. Everybody knew what he was up to and nobody spoke up til recently. Now everybody's piling on, which is a step in the right direction. Except Lindsey Lohan, who is staunchly defending him. After five days, even Hillary Clinton spoke up.

An Australian man was hurt by a flying dildo, launched from the naughty bits of an exotic dancer. This is the kind of news story we need. It has it all: injury, physics, and an exotic dancer. Think of her muscular control!

Pneumonia, Parkinsons, Pexhaustion, Pwatever

Friends: thanks for reading. Although this blog is the 'best kept secret' on Google, I appreciate you loyal folks.



ING's data center in Bucharest, Romania, was knocked offline over the weekend during a fire extinguising test. Are you ready for this? It was caused by inert gas. No so much the gas itself, but the noise of the escaping gas. It got to the heads on the hard drives, ruining them. The site went offline and the company relied on its backup data center, seriously inconveniencing its customers. Good to know: noise will not affect solid state drives. So don't fart too loudly in front of your computer.

Can you believe I get paid for this shit?
Just kidding.

• Apparently the version of android tracks you even if you uninstall Google Maps. Lovely. The only way to avoid this is to disable GPS and only activate it if/when you need it. I saved myself by disabling GPS when I got the phone. You might also want to do this.

Seagate, the hard drive manufacturer, is in trouble. Their H/R department fell for a phishing scam, released all sorts of W-2 data, and now the employees are suing.  Does phishing rhyme with fishing?

• If Hillary Clinton had a heart attack outside her ambluance and fell on the ground, her supporters would say "she just needed a nap - why are you picking on her?"
• Speaking of Hillary supporters, they're lining up to meet her and catch her pneumonia as a remembrance.

BREAKING: three people killed, tripping over adapters needed to use headphones with new iPhones. See Airpod samples.

• Elon Musk says pending Tesla updates could have prevented fatal crash. Oopsie.

A woman is suing the manufacturer of her (phone-connected) dildo because it knows too much about her. Folks, if you buy a FitBit, a VagBit or anything else phone-connected, the data will flow upstream from your phone. Rest assured it will be used for marketing, at very least. If you can deny internet permission for the app, do so. Otherwise, firewall it or just Don't Use It.

Again, I use No Root Firewall on my phone. As the title indicates, you don't need to root your (android) phone to use it. The moment I installed it, I saw a frightening amount of data leaving my phone. Why do my file manager, internet radio and others so desperately want to contact Faceyspaces? Why do apps need to go to the internet when I'm not using them (or at all). No Root Firewall is not for everybody - you have to have a real interest in privacy and a few moments here and there to decide what YOU want to let contact some address outside of your phone. Allowing one app might allow all sorts of addresses you don't need to contact, so you have to go with granular permissions (yes, it may contact the addresses it needs to do its job but not Faceyspaces or ad networks).

• Today is International Chocolate Day. What 'they' are not telling you is that EVERY DAY is International Chocolate Day. Don't be fooled.

A man using stolen wifi from a neighbor's unlocked system downloaded and distributed child porn. Whose house do you think the authorities raided? That's right.  Secure your wireless.

• As we know, I'm no Trumpian, but I find the charges of racism to be manufactured. If he said to deport illegal aliens, that's not racism- it's the law.
• Come on with the Hillary Health Hoo-Ha. The woman is sick; all that remains is a correct diagnosis. First it was dehydration, then is was pneumonia, per her own campaign. Then the press that she owns said she tripped. Lie upon lie, although her supporters say this is all Trumped up. The Kool Aid is unbelievable.
• Meanwhile the Great Unwashed are most concerned with Various Activities performed by millionaire football players during the national anthem. Can you say diversion?

Happy 70th to Freddie Mercury. Rock on.

• Got a Samsung 7? I'd do something with it before it does something to you. They're catching fire and exploding. Using one is now discouraged on airplanes. Discouraged? Ban the damn things. Those hoverboard things were banned... do you want one of these on a plane? Btw, this is not the only phone with this problem.

Jared's Folly

You think because I referenced Subway that I'm going to have a whack at Jared and the allegations of kiddie porn. Or a poke at Subway for the quality of their sandwiches. Or even the old bit about twelve inches not being twelve inches. But noooooo....

Every week I go to lunch with a friend at Subway. Exactly every two weeks, a large, loud African-American woman starts SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS at the poor Indian guys behind the counter. The specific topic doesn't seem to matter, but it generally revolves around a feeling of being owed something. The volume will start loud and then go through the roof. The entire (alleged) restaurant goes quiet, as the woman ratchets up in temper and volume. She badgers the hell out of an employee across the counter. This is made more interesting by the two-way language difficulties.

Eventually somebody will threaten to call the police. One arguer kept telling the employee to 'GO AHEAD -CALL THE POLICE', as she backed out the front door. Another encouraged calling in a tone that shook the building, as her girlfriend/partner got up to the cash register and yelled even louder.

An African-American couple looked at each other uncomfortably and left without finishing their food.

Finally one of the employees decided to end the play by giving the bellowing monster what she wanted. I'm going to guess this was to end the noise (our ears were bleeding) or because if he called the police, he'd be retired long before they arrived. In Philly, the police cannot be bothered to show up unless you specifically say GUN.

After it was over, I stood up on my chair and yelled `YOU... I'M GOING TO STAND HERE AND SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS UNTIL YOU GIVE ME WHAT I WANT.'  The restaurant laughed and applauded. My job there was done.

As we walked out, we noticed six policemen approaching, obviously by accident. I wanted to suggest they come back in two weeks.....

• What in the multiverse is up these days?  When I read the news, I often wonder when we officially switched to 1984 or some other science fiction novel set in some black, ugly future. The nonsense was piled upon us a piece at a time, so most of use didn't notice (the Kardashians were on). Every time I read a story about immigration, my head spins. Let me see if I understand this correctly:

1. We are allowing hundreds of thousands of (mostly) Mexicans to stream across the border, due to it being largely porous. If we're that concerned about 'terrorism', why are we allowing this?
2. Our border with Canada is sealed tight, as are the international airports.
3. The occupant of the White House and his accomplices welcome the illegals, referring to them as undocumented.
4. The illegals are treated to healthcare, education and drivers licenses, on our dime. We, who can't afford our own insurance, are forced to subsudize insurance for people who can't be bothered to follow the immigration laws of our country.
5. An administration that won't enforce its own immigration laws.
6. An administration that fails to deport illegals in most cases, even after they commit serious crimes and sneak back repeatedly.
7. DC wants to give illegal aliens the right to vote.

• So tell me - what's going on here? Am I completely missing the point? Am I so turned around that I'm abnormal(moreso) and this situation is perfectly ok?

Speaking of insurance, I had a real Insurance Experience the other day. My wife went to pick up some meds and was told the insurance refused to pay for them because they needed a precertification.  Mrs. leftystrat has been on this medicine for five years and it's cheap and generic; no reason not to pay (other than the fact that insurers don't want to pay any claim). The pharmacy faxed a form to her doctor for precertification.

A week later(!), she called her doctor to see where the process was. As it turned out, the process wasn't. No record of request or action so they said they'd call the next day.  I should mention that it's a good thing we had a backup supply: if this were an antidepressant, she'd be shooting from the roof or in schoolyards by now.

The next day the doc's office told her it should be waiting for her at the pharmacy. A little later she the office called back to say that the pills weren't entirely waiting for her at the pharmacy. The insurer called the pharmacist but he was being uncooperative [no way this could be true- they're like family]. 

The wife gave up and paid cash for the meds. This was NOT alright with me. I got on the phone with the drug coverage people, who wanted the prescription number. There is no prescription number, so I cursed a bit and hung up. Then I called the main number, waited whilst being told how valuable I am, eventually arriving at an actual human. SHE explained that there's a medical coverage I.D. and a drug coverage I.D. The insurer approved the medicine under the medical I.D. and whenever the pharmacist tried to put it through, it got rejected. This person grasped the situation immediately (she'll be fired next week) and said all we had to do was move the precert from one number to the other (I almost fell out of my chair). 

You know what's coming, right?

She couldn't transfer the precert - she had to connect me with the Precert Department (aaaaaaaaaargh!).

The Precert Department did not tell me how valuable I was, which was a harbinger of things to come. Earl answered the phone and I explained (slowly and patiently) the situation. He was much more interested in the dosage and amount of the medicine than actually fixing the problem. Then he stated he could fax a form to the doctor to get the process started. I kept telling him (slowly and patiently) that the process was already started: all he had to do was move the precert. He kept telling me (slowly and patiently) that he would fax a form to the doctor to get the process started. Once again I explained to Earl how easily it could be fixed. Once again Earl said we'd have to start the process over.

It was at about this point that I decided it would be best to dispense with slowly and patiently. I raised my volume and lowered my pitch, explaining to Earl that I needed them to pay for this medicine TONIGHT and how was he going to make that happen?

At this point I heard a higher-pitched YAAAAAY! The pharmacy called my wife and said it finally went through... there was celebrating (and we ate Robin's minstrels). I bid Earl a fond adieu, only to discover that the insurance company only covered half the cost of the pills.  Ain't insurance grand?

• Speaking of insurance (and we were), I found an article stating that insurers are asking for twenty to fifty four percent cost increases next year.  HUH?  It seems that because more people are insured (thanks, Obama), the insurance companies (who wrote the laws) aren't making money on the deal. What was Obama's response? Call the state regulators and tell them to examine the rate increases carefully. Why is it that he and the rest of the criminals aren't run out of office hastily? We got screwed last year and now they're adding another helping of Screwed Soup. 
• Everybody who voted for Obama, raise your hand.  Good - YOU pay for my insurance. It's YOUR fault. 
• And don't go voting for Hillary, you kool-aid drinking socialist New World Order sycophants.

So there are three children whose parents are going through a nasty divorce. They refuse to see their father so a judge, full of good intentions, sentenced them all to Juvenile Detention for the entire summer. It came down to a pissing match between three recalcitrant children and a judge. In these cases, the judge always has the bigger member, even if female, as is the case here.  Aparently the kids really don't want to visit Dad, as all of them chose detention over visitation. This would be funny if it weren't so serious. Who are we kidding - it's funny now.

• Portland, Oregon, has taken on a very controversial Neighborhood Beautification Program. When I was young, it was common to throw your old sneakers over the power lines. I have no idea why. In Portland, they are doing the same thing, only with dildos. Just like sneakers, they are going up in pairs, in beautiful white and bright orange. Bright orange? I didn't know they came in bright orange. Excuse me.... I have to run an errand......

A divorced couple is fighting over frozen embryos. The female half wants to insert them into a surrogate, which isn't going over well with the male half.  Hey - leggo my embryos!

A Moment of Music

These guys have been slagged off unfairly, as a copycat band and as a grunge band. Stone Temple Pilots are a refreshing surprise of musicianship, writing, versatility and heroin abuse.  Their hits, and there have been many, are typically loud and raucous. I appreciate some of their more complex songs, which they can't play live, as they're overdubbed and there are too few musicians to reproduce them.

The DeLeo brothers, Dean and Robert, play guitar and bass, respectively. Robert doesn't get recognized for his contributions, which are solid yet busy and sound like James Jamerson (Motown). Dean plays many instrument flavors and tones, making things very interesting to the ear.  Eric Kretz is a drummer in the pounding style of John Bonham (Led Zeppelin). Scott Weiland is a very talented singer with a lot of baggage. Twice, after appearances on the Howard Stern Show, he went back on heroin.  Scott is bipolar, which probably drives this behavior. He's a great frontman, a real chameleon. He was let go and replaced by Chester Bennington, of Linkin Park. Personally I'm not thrilled but he's certainly decent.

Daisy is a rare instrumental. One of Dean's secret talents is slide guitar. He sets his tone beautifully and really uses his slide lyrically, instead of the 'normal' slide routine.

One of STP's surprises is their variety. You can listen to five songs and not know it's the same band. One of my favorite STP tunes is Atlanta. Listen to this and tell me you don't hear the Doors.  Hello It's Late is another change of style. Does this sound like their hit Plush? One of my wife's favorites is Bipolar Bear. Note the acoustic going into the faster chaotic electric section. Like Jimmy Page, DeLeo is a master of layering and many tones. There are all sorts of things going on here that can't be accurately played live, although they manage to pull it off.

These guys play to serve the song - no heroics, except for the whole.  Listen and love.