I see these reviews online and on YouTube, so I decided to bring my reviewing 'style' to the ThermionicEmissions. I can't do videos because I'm too ugly to be on camera, so you're stuck here. This is going to be a real internet hit, once it gets out. I'll have to split the blog again.
Yes, I've been drinking again, why do you ask?
A major musical instrument vendor is having a sale and I haven't shopped for anything in 8 years, so I thought I'd give it a shot. Each pedal had a video so you could hear the pedal in action, allowing me to keep current on what's out there.
I hate to have to say this, but the reviews are
my opinion. Your mileage will vary. It's more of a review parody of snotty people than anything. And I hate everything anyway.
MXR M78 Custom Badass 78 Distortion $69
One of my first pedals was the MXR Distortion +. I hated it. Naturally it's 'vintage' and commands a hefty price now. That's nice - a hefty price for a pedal that still sucks.
The Custom Badass does sound different than my Distortion +. It's a little more subtle. And it, too, sucks.
Ibanez NU Tubescreamer $250
I got the jump on this a year ago, when the Nu Tube itself came out. It's a $50 tube on a chip. It powers the little Vox cubes. Ibanez put it in a pedal.
The Tube Screamer is one of the most famous pedals there is, and has been around since about the time of George Washington. I had one early on. It was green, which also described the color of my face when I heard it. Dammit, this doesn't sound like a tube amp, I said to myself.
The original TS came in a ton of varieties, which sometimes could be distinguished by the shape of the switch, random model numbers, and the shade of green. More recently, it gained fame because of DRSS (Dead Rock Star Syndrome) after Stevie Ray Vaughan had that unfortunate incident with the mountain. SRV used one, so everybody and their parents needed one. What the ads and hype failed to reveal was that SRV also used Marshall, Fender, and Dumble amps at the same time, so unless you hooked your TS to about $6,000 to $15,000 worth of amps, you weren't going to sound like Stevie. Further, you wouldn't
play like Stevie either. This is the trap women fall for in makeup commercials: buy this makeup and you'll look like the beautiful movie star who's wearing it now.
We also learned the proper way to run a Tube Screamer was not the way I ran it. You set your amp semi-dirty and run the TS into it for boost, not necessarily gain. So then it became
which TS you had, because the one with the square switch sounded better than the stomp switch, causing it to fetch $300 per. Meanwhile, Ibanez is pissing their pants, because the only difference between the square switch model and the stomp switch model is that one has a square switch and one has a stomp switch - there are no circuit differences. Ibanez was less happy when they found out they were going for $300 used. So they did the right thing and reissued the square switch pedal. For $300.
So I watched the video. And it didn't sound any better than my old Tube Screamer. I'll tell you, folks... if you can't make it sound good in the demo, how can you sell them?
Like Burger King's commercials.
Shit - are we having fun yet?
I sure the hell am.
Unfortunately my non-guitar readers, who missed the line up top (Guitar Content) are pulling out their hair and wondering when it will end (when they're out of hair).
Let's continue; shall we?
Pigtronix Disnortion $50
Pigtronix makes some really interesting, off the path boxes, many with silly names. This is one of them.
The uniqueness of the pedal is in the name. It sounds like a decent fuzz (and I don't like fuzz). NEXT.
TC Helicon Harmony Singer 2 $200
TC makes some sweet stuff. I have the Flashback II, their multi delay box. Most of their pedals have Tone Print, where you can store your settings or input new settings with your phone. So if you ever see anyone with their phone pointed at their pickups, they're uploading a preset.
Or they're so stoned, they think they're making a call.
The Harmony Singer looked interesting, because it was... well.. a harmonizer. I have a weakness for harmonizers but I'm not sure why. Maybe it's a blinky light thing. There's something to be said for playing Allman Brothers harmonized leads all by yourself.
When the video started, I realized I was hoodwinked: the pedal was for singers. Screw singers - it was in the guitar pedal category, meaning somebody was either going to have to pay tribute or die.
Since I'm a sucker, I let it continue. It's 10% of a guitar pedal, in that the pedal analyzes your guitar to make the singer's harmonies accurate. The demo, like all demos, was over the top, but it was damn fine. The guy had an acoustic and the lady sang. When she sang, a chorus of invisible angels sang along with her. Ok, that's pretty cool. You can set the harmonies, level of harmonies, and flip the switch for Penis or Lack of Penis, so the pedal knows what range to use (ok, I might have made that up a little).
Since I'm not in a band now and it's rude for me to sing where people can hear me, I went to the next pedal.
Way Huge Conquistador Fuzzstortion Pedal $80
Way Huge has the best model names in the industry. Crunchy Frog, Camel Toe, and Green Pickle come to mind.
I'm not sure what fuzzstortion is, but it sounded like a heavy fuzz and I still don't like fuzz. NEXT.
TC Electronic June 60 Vintage Analog Chorus $49
This box is modeled after the chorus found on a old Juno synthesizer.
I don't know why.
It sounded halfway decent.
But... if you're going to put out an effect pedal, you should probably include more than two buttons and a footswitch. There were literally two pushbuttons for settings. No knobs. For sounds, you had SWITCH 1 ON, SWITCH 2 ON, BOTH SWITCHES ON. While this is most likely what was on the Juno synthesizer, guitar players like knobs that you can
turn, making it a box with more than three settings.
Boss MT-2W Waza Metal Zone
Are you fricking
kidding me?
I couldn't bear to watch the video.
TC Electronic Hall of Fame Mini Reverb $100
Since I like the Flashback II, I figured I'd give it a go... I need a reverb anyway.
I thought it was a one trick pony with one knob, but it turns out they hid the switch that selects between four types of reverb. Pretty tricky.
The video explained the knob/switch combo and demoed one of the sounds for damn near 15 seconds. Here I am, ready to drop $100 on a pedal and the demo doesn't show me what the other 3 reverb types sound like (they DO sound different). Nasty surprise - and this was a manufacturer video.
Digitech Mosaic Polyphonic 12 String $145
I've heard a few pedals claiming to make your 6 string sound like a 12 string. Spoiler: they fail. They sound like shit, with nasty, buzzy highs that make it sound closer to a 12 string, like maybe an 8 string.
Two strums into the video and I was hooked.
I was hooked on reaching for the STOP knob. It sounded every bit as nasty high buzzy as every other 12 string emulator pedal. This is probably because it has to shift the high strings up in pitch and it doesn't do this very well or realistically. Get a 12 string.
Boss JB-2 Angry Driver Overdrive $199
This is a first: Boss teamed with JHS pedals for the JB-2, which combines a Blues Driver with the JHS Angry Charlie. They had a video with the head of Boss (couldn't speak English) and the JHS Dude (spoke English), respecting each other, listening to pedals, breadboarding pedals, and continuing to respect each other. There was a scene where they held hands while walking through the park.
The only logical fallacy was that they couldn't design a pedal because they couldn't communicate. One guy says, "I think we need more high end." The other one replies, "[Japanese]." And so went the design phase.
The Blues Driver is Boss' answer to the Tube Screamer, and sounds every bit as
bad good. The shade of blue is a bit nicer than the Tube Screamer's green, so it has that going for it. The Angry Charlie is red and has a lot of knobs. It's sort of a kind of Marshall Full Blown JCM800 style pedal, with a hair more subtlety. It sounds a lot like Andy Timmons, who sounds pretty good. Andy used and/or collaborated on this pedal until he went somewhere else recently. Andy also uses Mesa Boogies, which makes the balls to the wall Marshall box sound kinda strange. Further, JHS has managed a bad reputation with some pedal buyers for using existing designs, putting his name on them, and selling them for inflated prices. This is hearsay - I have not played the pedals or looked at the circuitry.
After the guys were done strolling through the park, it was time to hear the JB-2. Unfortunately they didn't include it. I know the Angry Charlie is a decent sounding box. The JB-2 has the 2 boxes, which you can run in either order.
Leslie G Pedal Leslie in a Box $ 330
Companies have been trying to put a Leslie in a box since the beginning of time, because a real Leslie weighs as much as a house, and requires its own staff to move and maintain. It's worth it, though... the thing was attached to every Hammond Organ that ever got recorded, as well as Peter Frampton's rig. It can be heard on Beatles, Joe Walsh, and tons of other albums, with a guitar or keyboard through it. It is distinguished by being the size of a medium size fridge, usually in a nice wood finish, with a thingie that rotates inside the top part of it. It rotates slowly or quickly, which is switchable.
I wanted a Leslie, but my back wouldn't hear of it. Mrs lefty gave me permission to put it in the living room, next to the tube tester, but it wouldn't fit in the moving truck. I spent a year auditioning pedals that claimed to sound like a Leslie. Spolier: they didn't.
Go to YouTube and listen for yourself. Some sound good. Some not so good. You can spend $60 to $350 on them. They all have one thing in common: they sound pretty good on the fast speed, and almost imperceptible on the slow speed.
This pedal is a smaller version of the original, with more knobs or something.
The video was very clean and had no background noise. Unfortunately it had no frontground noise either. In fact, there was no video. I listened to the original box when I was doing comparisons and I'll say it didn't rank in the top 2. It's a sad irony that the company that makes the fridge-size box original can't quite put the sound in a tiny little box for guitar players.
Other spoiler: I bought the Hughes and Kettner Tube Rotosphere 2. It's got an honest to goodness 12AX7 tube, and sounded the best of any I heard. It even has a distortion control. Jeff Beck used one, so I figured I'm in good company. The only downside is that it's relatively huge. This isn't a problem for me because I never leave the house, but people with crowded pedalboards should probably get a lesser unit. It's not made anymore but you can find them on Ebay. I emailed H&K about getting more depth in the slow speed - answer pending.
TC Electronics Viscous Vibe Modulation Effects $130
Everybody and their mother wants that Univibe tone, made famous by Jimi Hendrix (DRSS) and Robin Trower. Unfortunately the vintage Univibes haven't been made since Richard Nixon was in office and they're not for sale often. When they
are for sale, you have to mortgage your house for one. I'm kidding - you have to mortgage your
car. Manufacturers have been putting out Univibe clones for years, mostly sounding not too great and not like a Univibe. But at least they get a lot of money for them.
One of the biggies was the Microvibe. I tried it in a store, in a small room, where no one could disturb me. For fun, I had a Roger Mayer Voodoo Vibe next to it. Roger Mayer started out making pedals for Jimi Hendrix and has had his own line of pedals for years. There weren't a lot of controls on the Univibe or the Microvibe. The Mayer had more knobs than a home improvement store and is way beyond the understanding of most guitar players (and me). That said, the Mayer blew the Micro out of the water handily. Fortunately for me, it was used, so the price was merely ridiculous, and I still use it to this day.
The video was a combo of 2 boxes, the Viscous Vibe and their Phaser offering. The phaser sounded exactly like a phaser. It was astounding. They even loaded a TonePrint patch, which also sounded like a phaser. If you want a phaser, that box is definitely one. The Viscous Vibe is also a phaser, because Univibes and clones are special phasers (the knobs are loose but you better not make fun of them). It has 3 modes: chorus (Univibe), TonePrint, and Vibrato (nauseating pitch warbling, like you hear right before you have to throw up). As things go, the VV sounded decent. I'd want to compare it to several others, but it's a good sounding pedal, leaving no doubt as to what it's supposed to be doing. Decent price too.
Way Huge Conspiracy Theory $135
Another great named pedal from Way Huge. I had to look at it, based upon the name alone. When I saw it, I knew what it was: a direct ripoff of the famous Klon pedal. Some nice fella made the Klon, which is a medium transparent overdrive, and started to go for absolutely obscene prices on the used market. I think he had stopped making them right before this. The Gear Nerds had a blast, claiming differences between the gold case and the silver case. Eventually, many pedal companies put out their own version. This is sad, because the original guy saw everybody making a ton of money on his design. He eventually put out another version which was much less expensive, smaller, and in a red box. Naturally the Gear Nerds had a fit comparing the red one to the gold one. If you don't believe me, go to YouTube, where they compare every version ever made to the original. Electro Harmonix has their direct copy, the Soul Food, which goes for about $70. There are many others. Since they can't call themselves Klon, they have names like Klone, Archer (Klon has an archer logo), and others have a similar box with 3 knobs, like the Klon.
Yes, but what does it
do?
It's actually a pretty nifty pedal. It's referred to as a medium transparent overdrive, but that's a small part of what it does, with a lot of syllables. Transparent refers to the pedal passing your original tone without messing it up, like most pedals do, especially fuzz and distortion. It's a medium because it doesn't have a ton of gain, but has enough. The pedal sounds pretty fine in front of most amps. You can use it to goose an already distorted amp, for a little grit, or for a cleanish boost. It is transparent - it gives you more of what you have, adding some fine-sounding dirt. You should probably pick one up at some point, because you need 12 overdrive/distortion/fuzzes on your board. And because it's pretty sweet, even at low settings.
Keeley Dark Side Workstation Multi Effects $275
I knew this one already. It's Pink Floyd in a box - I'm not kidding.
It's got fuzz, delay, and modulation, and with a few knob changes, you can sound close to David Gilmour. Reminder: you will never
play like David Gilmour. The price is damn fine for what you get - it would cost you a lot more to buy the 3 effects separately. Note: these are vintage-style 70s effects. You will want to listen to this pedal. I really like it, and I have no desire to be David Gilmour. The modulation gives you Flanger, Rotary Speaker (Leslie), U-Vibe (Univibe), and phaser effects.
Electro Harmonix Synth 9 $190
This is the 5th pedal in this series. You plug your guitar in and it sounds like a keyboard. Each pedal has a number of keyboards, and this one sounds like about 9 different popular synthesizers. You go from Moog (Lucky Man), to Oberheim (JUMP!), to Prophet 5 (tons of stuff) and others. To watch the demo is to be amazed. One of the reasons is that Bill Ruppert is very talented.
These pedals are light years ahead of the first guitar synths (I had an early converter). You don't need a converter, a special pickup, an additional box and pickup on the guitar, or to lug keyboards around. I wouldn't go so far as to say you can fire your keyboardist now, but you can get some interesting and popular tones out of these boxes. I'd probably go for one of the more generic boxes first, but they sound like what they're named after.
They come up used a lot, at better prices. I have a feeling that it's because of the rumor I heard about this series not tracking well. This was a huge problem with early guitar synths. So before you buy one, spend some time playing with it to make sure it does everything you want it to, and accurately.
Lastly, when you play keyboards, you sometimes have to think like a keyboardist. This can get hairy, because you can play adjacent notes on keyboards, which you can't on guitars (unless you have a 1 foot handspan, like Allan Holdsworth). So you have to pick your notes and inversions carefully. But it still sounds good generically.
MXR M77 Custom Badass Modified Overdrive $100
I'm sorry - I refuse to review this on the basis that I can't tell the difference between the M78 Custom Badass 78 Distortion and the M77 Custom Badass Modified Overdrive. There are too many syllables and too many words, even though both have Badass in their names.
Ok, I watched the video.
It sounds like an MXR distortion/overdrive, which isn't a good thing.
It's got a 100Hz boost/cut knob and a Bump switch, which bumps up the mids, making it sound even worse. You Tube Screamer people might like the Bump.
It doesn't sound hideous, but that's not exactly a good marketing point.
J Rockett Audio Designs Majestic Overdrive $200
The J Rockett people say this pedal captures Jimmy Page's tone on the How the West Was Won album. The video says it's designed to sound like a 1958 Les Paul into a cranked Marshall.
Quite frankly, it sounds like neither.
It's not a bad pedal at all. It just doesn't sound like its press would have you believe. I don't think it's worth $200. If it
did sound like it was supposed to, it would be worth it. It's a nice, medium overdrive.
I'll have another go when I see something interesting.
Or the next time I've had too much to.....
