Captivity - Day 26 Social Distancing from my family

Probably because the manufacturing is done cheaply, I tend to scratch the letters off keyboards. Last week it was M and N. Even though I don't look at the keyboard, I'm now mixing up N and M. It's like I've got eyes in my fingers. Or maybe I've been inside too long.....

Since the last vacuum fought and won, tonight is the really cheap vacuum. I'm saying this because maybe if I say it, I'll actually do it. Odds are strictly against it.

I got an email from my car: it misses me.

So does the vacuum.

The doctor called, checking on the new medicine. I told him to hold on, while I caught the purple giraffe in the kitchen. He said something about dosage adjustment and got off the phone quickly....

I have a harem at work. Working from home is making things very difficult.(especially the spankings)...

When your doctor does telemedicine and can't quite get the video working, should you find a different doctor? Good thing it's not the psychiatrist.

I would stand 3' from a random stranger, not wear a mask, go out for no particular purpose, drive 95 mph, not shelter-in-place, and sit inside a restaurant, all so I could go to a guitar show. I miss them, like Madonna misses facelifts.

Another side effect of the constant rain is that the grass grows like mad. As we know, I'd rather cut my own limbs off than mow. That said, the neighbors have taken up mowing. Working from home has lost its luster. The next door neighbors are now dueling with the electric tool neighbors for stereo cacophany supremacy. The next door neighbor doesn't have a lot of grass, so I think she's mowing the same patch over and over again, to annoy me. 8 hours later, still going. Perhaps they're replanting the grass, one blade at a time.

UPDATE: I vacuumed AND mowed. The ($&#ing mower took me for a header on the steps. Neighbors are already nervous - I can't shoot the thing.

Mrs lefty goes food shopping more now than before Idiot Governor ordered everyone confined to quarters. Shoe stores have not been declared essential (Idiot Governor has very few women on his staff). Perhaps I need to do a bag check. Some Targets will let you buy food but not clothes. "That?" That's been there for weeks. It's for my mom."

"That guitar? It's been there for weeks. It's for your mom."

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This is where I put the good wishes, concern, and touchy-feely stuff.

Since I'm not doing that today, you can get f'd.

Philly Guitar Show - Summer 2015

I made my religious pilgrimage to the Philly Guitar Show (in Oaks, PA, naturally) over the weekend.

We got out of the car and went toward the entrance,  noticing a lot of strange-looking people. Very strange-looking people. Remembering that there's typically a reptile show along with the guitar show, we continued.  But these people weren't reptiles. They were wearing really bizarre hats, helmets and clothing.

FURRIES!!!

False alarm - these youngsters appeared to be from the fantasy-prone video generation. There was a gaming show.  And there was no entrance for the guitar show, which was incredibly odd.  We had missed the sign that stated the show was moved to another hall. At said hall, we observed middle-aged dudes out front, smoking. Ah yes, the guitar show.

It was cheaper this year, probably because it was smaller (grumble).  The greyhound adoption people were there, as usual, with three really sweet dogs (throw-aways from dog racing tracks). They have lovely temperaments and are really not that active (two were spread across a large dog bed).

I located a pair of new Taylors; a 200 series ($699) and a 400 series ($1700+).  The 200 felt really nice, with a very comfortable neck and sounded good. The 400 had a more rounded neck and didn't play or sound much better. Although the 400 is obviously better-constructed, I would have bought the 200 if I were in the market.

Lefty Taylor 200 series

Later on I found an interesting burst Strat. It was earlier 70's because it had no serial number on the headstock, no skunk stripe on the back of the neck and a three-position switch. It played pretty well and I inquired about it. Turns out it was a `71 and they wanted $12k for it.  Oops. It sure didn't play that nicely.

There were some beautiful Marshalls there. Breathtaking stuff at breath-stealing prices. There was a `74 100w JTM full stack in pretty good condition. The stack was priced at $3500. I have this head in 50w - getting old sometimes has its advantages. There were some $7k heads and $8k cabinets. I saw an 8x10 cab and all sorts of rare stuff, including a 20w Marshall p.a. (no, really). Don't even ask.

1974 Marshall 100w stack

Usually there are some spectacular really old guitars but I didn't notice too many, as they were all backwards. Ok, there were quite a few 50's Gibsons and Fenders. Sweet stuff. The market must be down, as the prices required only an arm - not a leg too.

BEST TAG of the show award: 1960 Strat - some 1960 parts.



Up near the end, I saw a Fender Coronado in antigua (PUKEBURST)!  Behind it.....
HOLY F---- IT'S A LEFT-HANDED PUKEBURST STRAT!!!  
I have one - it's my #1 guitar. I deperately want a matching Tele but I'm open to another Strat. It could be mine for the bargain price of $2700 (a bit on the high side, to be polite).  After clearing the drool from my mouth, I picked it up and gave it a go. Appearancewise, it was a perfect match to mine.  Playingwise, something was off. I'm out of practice, so that might be it. I'm also experiencing a nasty side effect of a medicine; the shakes. That could be it too.  As the guitar turned out to be local, I wanted to bring my guitar around for a comparison.

1978 LEFTY antigua (pukeburst) Strat

my 1977 lefty pukeburst Strat

When I got home, I picked mine up and it played like butter.  In my substantial experience with late seventies Fenders, there are two necks; Heavenly and DOGS. Mine was heavenly, the other was a DOG.  It would have been nice to have it for the collection but I obviously don't have unlimited funds.

Got to talk to some vendors too. One guy had a bunch of Strymon pedals. These babies go for $400-500 each and some people have several on their pedalboards. The guy told me that he would never have predicted the popularity of these pedals, given the cost. Yet he can't keep them in stock. Also chatted with a vintage pedal guy who had an H&K tube Rotosphere.  This box is a Leslie emulator (those huge brown boxes with rotating horns that sit behind organ players). It's almost impossible to emulate these but this pedal is The Stuff. Jeff Beck uses one, so it should probably be good enough for me. Once I buy it, I mean.

Gorgeous Gibson!

It was a really good show. I'll see you at the Fall Philly show.

Philly Guitar Show

Last weekend I attended the winter version of the Philly Guitar Show, which was neither in the winter, nor in Philly.  Depending on who you asked, it was either at the Philly Expo Center in Oaks or the Oaks Expo Center (in Oaks).

That aside, it's always fun going to these shows.  I might have missed two in many years.  From a left-handed perspective the shows are frequently disappointing but this one was more of a winner.  I bring you pictoral evidence....

First up, I wandered into a 1964 lefty Strat.  I have never seen one, no less played one.  As one would expect, it had that mojo only available in a vintage guitar.  It was burst with a big old rosewood board for only $14k.  Just so we lefties don't feel discriminated against, another booth had a righty 1964 Strat for the same price.  Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of it, although it was the one I wanted most.

Next up was a local dealer with an amazing collection of Taylors.  At the end of the collection was the lefty collection.

Technically speaking, there are only three, which is because the guy went to set the fourth one up after I played it.  They all played like butter and I will eventually have a few of them.  Just not now.

Around the corner my senses started to tingle when I saw this:

I can spot a late 70's Strat from across the room.  It was a 77.  And when I got closer, I almost dropped my coffee.  I know some of us are inveterate tinkerers but this guy went a little too far.  He installed a humbucker in the rear, which I must admit to doing on one of mine but then he went and added a switch or five.  And not the small toggles, no sir.  He added flat-handle toggles, in odd places, at odd angles.  I picked it up (because I like pain) and it felt decent but quite used.  Could probably use a fret job.  At about $1400, I decided to leave it there.

Here is your basic black Les Paul Custom (I have the Ibanez lawsuit version of this).  It was in good shape and relatively reasonably priced.

Here's a wine red Les Paul Standard Plus top from 2008 for $2150.

I know these are available but have never seen one til now.  It's the newish Squier Classic Vintage Tele (Strat also available).  These are some great deals, with pine bodies and acceptable hardware/pickups, at  a bargain price.  This model inspired me to build my own pine Tele (and when I say build, I mean I have had all the parts for a year and am waiting for the Finishing Department to get in gear).  The only problem with this series is the problem I have with all recent Fenders - the dratted C-neck they use.  But try one - you might love it.

When was the last time you saw a lefty EB0 bass?  For me, the answer is never.  And from what I remember, it's no great loss.  But still a curiosity.

Speaking of lefty basses, you don't often see a bass both lefty and in blue.  They also had one in maple. I don't have a blue guitar yet so this made me tingle a bit but I'll need a guitar before a blue bass.

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While that's about it for lefties (I didn't bother with the cheapies I saw), here are some interesting pieces of the backwards (right-handed) variety.

These were my favorites in the whole show, for their sheer hideousness.

Here is a custom-made Alembic guitar for Richard Betts, aka Dickey Betts, late of the Allmans.  Came complete with a Vintage Guitar story on its creation.

This was a classic beauty - a 1954 Telecaster in pretty fine condition for only $25k.  Below it is a picture of the neck with its date.

Les Paul enthusiasts got to behold this 1955 goldtop.  It was not priced and if you have to ask.....

The shows are held twice a year, June/July and November.  Check B3 Guitars for the schedule - they may be coming to your town.

Why I'll Never Be A Great Jazz Guitarist

I have been staring intently at jazz guitar players for years.  I have seen them live, on video, on YouTube, and at guitar shows.  Aside from technique and years of experience, not to mention an ear for jazz, what do these guys have that I don't?

It's not like rock guitar, where the criteria are different.  In rock (and by extension, blues), it's all about the Guitar Faces.  Not the equipment, years of practice, or even a great groove - it's totally about the faces.  This was explained to me by an incredible but slightly odd electronic technician once and it took quite a while to get it.  My wife, on the other hand, got it right away - it's the faces, stupid!

If you don't believe me, check out Robin Trower, arguably the greatest living guitarist by faces alone.  Bonus for guitarists: dig the CBS Strat, the Marshalls, and the definitive use of the Univibe.

So today I came upon a random link and It finally hit me: jazz was going to be different than rock and roll.  It would not involve guitar faces at all.

The secret to jazz playing is entirely in the knobs.  It took way too long to put this together but I finally nailed it.  Watch any jazz guitarist and the first thing you notice is almost obsessive tweakage of the volume knob.  They might only move it 1/100th of a turn, but they allegedly hear something.... something that makes them play a bit, then go back to adjust the volume some more.

The audience never actually hears the effect of the volume knob but because this is jazz, trusts the player's instinct and takes on faith the aural effects thereof.

Back when I was doing sound and recording, someone asked me to turn down the SUCK knob.  We didn't actually have a suck knob but this birthed a tremendous idea: psychoacoustics.  Before you get your brain cells in a knot, this is not the psychoacoustics of the past twenty years or so, which deals with the perception of sound.

Or maybe it is - wtf do I know?  I would designate one knob as the psychoacoustic knob.  It did absolutely nothing and was connected to nothing. When a particularly picky band member would have me making minute adjustments to his instrument or headphone mix ad nauseum, I'd get aggravated and tweak the Psychoacoustic Knob, then smile and ask him didn't that sound better now.   The answer, in one hundred percent of cases, was yes.


WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED TODAY?

Nothing.  We learn nothing of value from this blog.  Ever.

That aside, we learned that the key to rock guitar is Guitar Faces.
We learned that the key to jazz guitar is Volume Knob Adjustment.
And we learned that no matter how bad they sound, you can't turn down the Suck Knob.