Captivity - Day 86 The Mosquitos Ate My Tree

They tell me it was nice outside.
Unfortunately I only had one nap. It ran from noon to 8:28.
Going to see if I can get one more in before bed.


As a result of all the protesting, I'm only watching porn with a positive message.


My BFF had some odd tremors. He went to the doctor and got some medicine for it. They told him to take the pill carefully because it could cause sleepiness. He slept the entire day. Then he slept most of the day. In fact, he slept most of the week. He went back to the doc, complaining that the pill put him to sleep. Doc said it worked perfectly: he was not bothered by tremors the entire week.



Pro Tip: If you're going to have sex at work, don't use the room with the only color laser printer. I had no idea so many people print in color. errr... what I meant was I had to print in color and......




One of the Big Things we will all ponder and face, is 'what's it all about?' Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? Am I supposed to leave a legacy or get out so quietly that no one notices?

While I'm meandering all over the place, I found the results of a study that said volunteering may add years to your lifespan and improves overall well-being.

I have none of the answers, but I suspect volunteering belongs in there somewhere. It comes under 'Do Good.' This doesn't directly answer the questions but it may be helpful as you continue to work on them. At very least, it's good for whoever you're volunteering for, as well as yourself. Volunteering is an all-encompassing word that covers many things. You can volunteer at a shelter, an animal shelter, zoo, children's organizations, local charities or projects... the list is endless. I kinda like 'Do Good' more. The smaller or more-personal level stuff is rewarding.

Someone suggested a Big Brother or mentoring thing. Good God, do you really want your poor child to be mentored by or spend time with a fairly 'different'  blogger who studies conspiracies, has the maturity of an adolescent, and thinks that most people on the planet are idiots? Teach the child about ufos, interesting approaches to sex, the Kennedy assassination, and how our rulers are going to ruin life for us all? How to lockdown his phone and stop using Google for anything because they're coming to get us?  Don't these organizations screen volunteers?

Ok, so maybe that's not for me.
I could give guitar lessons (if I didn't have the patience of a pregnant gnat).
Mentor in computers (provided they forsake Windows)
Teach swimming  (it would be more of a teaching to drown- I can't swim)

They say that the teacher learns from the student. They could teach me:

Social media
How to talk to girls
Behaving in public  (just a little bit)
Vegetables
A great love of current music

Perhaps I need to rethink this volunteering thing...



The doctor said to cut down on caffeine.
I was horrified.
He took one look at me and suggested, "Why don't you just spill more of it on your shirt?"

News You Need to Know; Comments You Don't Need to Hear

Whilst perusing the rss feeds for inspiration (and knowledge), the following pretty much jumped up and bit me; like Michael Moore to a donut.

FAT TAX?

An Illinois lawmaker, Senator Shane Cultra (R-Pluto), let loose with a comment about taking away tax deductions for parents of fat kids.  Not one to shoot himself in the foot and simply stand there bleeding, he added that he'd also take away the money poorer families get for having more kids.

Although Cultra (probably no relation to MK-ULTRA) backpedaled like a priest caught with an underage parishoner, there is video that indicates otherwise.

Also bandied about was a tax on sugary drinks.  The concept of sin taxes is one that deserves a closer look.  It was bad enough when only cigarettes got taxed (because everybody hates smokers, right?), but now they're talking about taxing my Coke or Code Red?  They'll get soda tax revenue from me when they pry the Mountain Dew from my cold, dead hands.

For the record, I'm against sin taxes on anything (yes, even cigarettes).  There are two important points here:

1. Who decides what is a sin?
2. It it not the job of government to Big Brother us to death, even if it is a matter of our health.  One of the beauties of being an American is the right to grow bigger than a senator's guaranteed pension with impunity, if not dignity (and even pride).

If people truly want Big Brother, all they have to do is sit back and let it happen.  It certainly won't be my America anymore, though...

SMILE, FAT KID

Speaking of Big Brother, there is a two million dollar project slated to start in a San Antonio elementary school shortly.  Cameras installed in the lunchroom will photograph what children put on their trays and later what's left on the trays `to report back to their parents' and for research.

The money comes from a Department of Agriculture grant; in other words, your tax dollars.  Don't worry, though.... parents will have to give permission and "only the trays will be photographed".

Ummmm...... no.

• How did these lunchroom cameras come to be installed already?
• Isn't it the responsibility of parents to instill good eating habits in their little darlings?
• The schools, en loco governmentus, simply have no business here.
• The kids not being photographed is a red herring - all of the information is personally identifiable.
• Will the parents be taxed on how much air their child breathes?

I wonder if there's a contingency in place for when the parents pack lunch for their kids.  Will the cameras follow them around to make sure they don't trade their broccoli for Ring Dings?  Actually, I'm more interested in weeding out the children who would accept this as a trade.   Will the kids be forced to file an flight eating plan for the week, complete with calorie counts (btw, what is the Recommended Daily Allowance of boogers)?

Sheer unadulterated stupidity from Texas.

BOOBIES!

My day (some say my life) would not be complete without at least one ode to boobies.  Today's little ditty shifts gears in a nearly pleasant way from government oppression to oppression by (and for) boobs.

Some genius has developed an application that will take a before picture and allow a woman to see the effect implants (of any size) will have.  Keep in mind this app was developed by a woman.  I suppose it makes more sense when you understand that the woman in question is a plastic surgeon.

In short, you input a picture then move the slider to see the effect of each size implant.  Some wags (generally male ones) would say that this would be tremendous in real life (but I'm not one of them).

Now before we get too excited, the program only runs on iDevices.  What Dr. Implants has against the Android operating system is anyone's guess.  When Steve Jobs hears about this app, it will be ported to Android immediately.  Mr. Jobs (currently on leave due to iCancer) doesn't like boobies for some reason.

The real head turner here is that the program allows users to post the augmented pictures to Facebook, so friends and family can weigh in on the new look.

Oh God.  No.

• -- >  Hey, y'all - check out my new boobies!   < --
• Vote for your favorite size! 
• Do this rack look realz?    ( . ) ( . )  lolz!
• I wuz gonna go for F's but my family talked me into D's.
• They're going to install them through my nostrils soze I won't get scars.