Studying the Speakers on Sputnik in Spanish

Your love is like   bamboo sticks under the fingernails

If I had a hammer, I'd

• test your entire body 'to see where it hurts'
• hammer in the morning (revenge on the neighbors)
• see if your car wax does what it advertises

Today I identify as  a CIS male Mickey Mouse

Queen’s Brian May to make acting debut as the Godfather of Rock in BBC drama

Brian's like Stevie Wonder - when he was being made, he got in the talent line a few times. Astrophysicist, guitarist, lyricist, animal activist, and now actor. Like Billy Gibbons, what can't he do?

Privacy, Thy Name is Dog 

I spend a lot of time setting up my browsers to be private and secure as possible. Sometimes it's a battle against the browser itself, most of which have no interest in privacy or security. My main browser is Firefox, which is tricked out the best I can. It will not remember anything I was doing, at all, ever.

So I'm in my chair, laptop at the ready, talking to Wife. Unfortunately I didn't see the Flying Cocker, who needed to be in my lap that moment. She's wiggling, revolving, and trying to get at Wife. When everything finally calmed down, the dog did no damage, except somehow managed to close Firefox. Firefox, with two weeks of tabs open for different projects. And just like I set it, Firefox came back up, completely without any history of what was there. This would be great for my privacy, had anyone managed to break into the laptop and try to check on my history, but not so helpful for my projects.

I wish I could train the keyboard not to accept paw....

Speaking of Dog, it's getting worse... 

When her mommy goes out to smoke, she comes into the office and looks at me with this horrible, sad look. She wants me to stop what I'm doing and take her to her mommy. Abandonment Complex is in the cocker breed standard.

Flying AIDS News  

Fauci decrees kids under four will get three vaccines

Freedom Convoy: Truckers cause chaos in Ottawa after second day of protests. US truckers are working on a nationwide version of this.

Gov’t watchdog slams federal COVID response, puts HHS on “high risk” list

Austria's Covid vaccine law comes into force amid resistance

Japan's Kowa says ivermectin effective against Omicron in phase III trial

Horowitz: Whistleblowers share DOD medical data that blows vaccine safety debate wide open

• In today's Tesla news, they're disabling the 'rolling stop' because it can 'increase the risk of a crash'
• also disabling the 'going through red lights', 'not using turn signal' and 'running over children' features

I know you're on edge, wondering what happened with my new pillow, to replace the High Memory Pillow, which replaced my No-Memory pillow, which somehow threw itself out when I wasn't looking. The original pillow worked. This was exactly what I wanted. The High Memory pillow thrills my wife (and possibly the dog) but doesn't work. I reminded Wife about her promise to look for a Flat Old No-Memory Boring Old Pillow. A pillow appeared, which was the same size as the ones with memory.

I should have been there, at the Mart with Walls, when the shopping commenced. Wife and friend spent quite a while looking for a pillow. They fluffed, they puffed, they threw, but mostly they SAT ON. Eventually a member of staff observed they didn't have much to do that day. Of course there was a staff member there... no one needed her. Except for the checkout lines, but they can't afford to keep staff at checkout lines. Apparently you have to sit on the pillows to properly try them out. As I try it out tonight, I can sleep well, knowing two fine asses spent a lot of time testing it out.

Florida News

• How cold is it in Florida?
• It's so cold, iguanas are falling from trees
• How silly is Florida?
• It's so silly, Pillow fighting has gone pro
• it gets worse - there were 16 men and only 8 women

Florida boy reels in .50-caliber Barrett sniper rifles while fishing.

Becomes incredibly popular fishing spot....

A Florida Man is behind bars after allegedly battering a female victim with hot ramen noodles, according to police. (much worse than using pasta or batteries) 

Jealous of a British military ship that somehow managed to lose a plane overboard, the US Navy is trying to recover an F-35C that also fell off a carrier.

I would like to get a gig as a Highly Paid Consultant for the Navy, whereupon I would tell them that firstly, they need to keep their planes ON the ships. I will do an intensive 360 day study, with the conclusion that they must use the system in place to lock down the planes, every time. These $337 million dollar planes suffer a reduction in operability and usability when off the carrier in this manner. The F-35C is not designed for underwater use. For the bargain price of $500 million, the manufacturer will produce an aquatic version. For this study I will receive $1 million; a bargain when you consider the savings in off-the-boat planes.

• Weather predicting Milltown Mel dies just before Groundhog Day
• wanted to save himself the embarrassment....

Matching Silverware - or - A Chat with the Voices

A lot has changed.

Of course it has, dummy.

No, I mean from childhood.

You have a job. That's a change.

Normally one would have to be married for this level of nasty dialog.

Well, you are, aren't you.

You're not helpful.

You're not good looking.

At least I'm bright.

Not according to Her.

Ahem... as I was saying... I grew up in a nice home. We were taught something akin to manners. We didn't just walk into our friends' houses, we knocked. We didn't go into their fridges unless told to. But mostly, the house had Order. And when I say mostly, I mean most of the house, except for the parts I was responsible for.

Yeah, you're a slob.

I prefer to say I lack organization. Or I have a lot of stuff.

All of your friends, when talking about a mess, said 'it looks like lefty's room.'

I came from four generations of clean freaks. 

Yet somehow you never inherited the gene. Do you look like the mailman? 

So the house was clean. Stuff couldn't sit on the steps for a 6 hours. Nothing in the sink. And after you washed it, you bloody well dried it. Other parents had ill-behaved kids, who were into booze and drugs. My mother's ill-behaved kids didn't dry the dishes after they washed them.

Bad to the bone. You're bad, you're nationwide. You should be a comic.

I was.

My brother had a black hole under his bed. If anything was missing, it was under his bed. Everything got sucked up. Apparently he had a thing for whipped cream, because there were tons of those compressed gas canisters under the bed.

The dishes matched. The mugs matched. The silverware matched. It wasn't fine china but it matched.

Many years passed, and now I'm an (alleged) adult, or at least a person with a house. I could have gone either way, and as you'd expect, I went The Way of the Disorganized. It doesn't help when you have two people who couldn't organize a sock drawer. Plus there's the household motto: A place for everything, that changes hourly. The most spoken phrase in the house starts with "Where is..."

My siblings are mostly organized, one by Wifely Force. So I'm the black sheep, the one far out on the loose branch, the one whose house everyone is afraid to visit.

Screw you, the dog never complains.

We have matching silverware. And when I say matching silverware, I mean silverware from several different sets. There are a ton of coffee mugs, because of two klutzes and the tendency for them to commit suicide by leaping from the drying rack to the floor (no, we do not dry our dishes after washing them. sorry, Mom).  We have Dishes by Mom. Whenever she decided to get a new set, we got the old ones. So some of it matches. We had these really cool black dishes. I can't tell you what happened, but only one bowl is left. And for some reason I don't want to understand, even the new stuff can't go in the microwave. 

Because microwaves, like phones, are such a new technology....

There's a shoe room.

Of course there's a shoe room.

I don't go in there. I suspect the shoes have reached Critical Mass and will chase me.

Ha ha, shoes chase you.

The shoe room is past filled, so there are shoes everywhere. Plus the person who wears them can never remember where she put them.

There's a guitar room.

Of course there's a guitar room.

It's a tiny room and it has overflowed a bit.

Plus you couldn't organize a pack of strings.

The basement.... well, the basement... we suspect the body of Jimmy Hoffa is down there, so we only go there when absolutely necessary. There is a road case that went on tour with Robin Trower. It may still be on tour... there are things I'm just afraid to ask, so I let them be.

Yeah, Ancient Aliens is going to do a show from the basement. Giorgio Tsoukalos will have to bring in lighting to show off his hair, which keeps getting caught in the ceiling... it's gotten rather out of control lately (the hair, not the ceiling).

My friends (both of them) understand and drop by.

But won't come in.

Taking Gender Out of Watches

Younger buyers do not like gender classification, so brands such as Zenith and Watchfinder & Company are starting to group timepieces by case size.

They also want the gender taken out of shoes, underwear, and pantyhose 

Definitely Maybe

Bohemian Rhapsody celebrates its 40th birthday on October 31.  Queen guitarist Brian May still rocks out to it in his car. How was it made? I'm glad you asked. From Freddie's concept to the stages of recording to video to radioplay to live performance, it's a great story.

• Somebody call Goodyear!  A $2.7 billion Department of Defense unmanned blimp got loose and floated over Pennsylvania for a few hours (and when I say 'got loose', I mean it got confirmed shot down). The purpose of the balloon is to detect a missile attack, although Spy Machine is certainly another mission. To keep things interesting, the steel mooring cable dragged along for the ride, shorting out power wherever it went along the way. A recent investigation by the Baltimore Sun found the program "hobbled by defective software, vulnerability to bad weather and poor reliability." Apparently this is not a new phenomenon - they have gotten loose in Afghanistan on a number of occasions. IT'S COMING FOR US. AND OUR WALLETS!

A West Virginia [uh-oh] assistant prosecuting attorney has been suspended for pulling a pistol on fake spiders decorating his office. In my professional capacity as an amateur blogger, I suggest that this man's meds be re-evaluated.

• lefty has a credit card with a $5,000 limit. lefty has run smack into the limit. lefty calls the credit card company and negotiates, over seven days, a new limit of $7,500. lefty fully plans to spend up to the new limit and start the entire routine again in six months, claiming he'll pay his balance down (with a wink).  Congratulations! lefty has just explained the national debt and what Congress just did in passing its 'budget'.

There is now a Zombie Disease.  Called Cotard's Syndrome, it makes a person think they're dead. Why the hell can't we have a disease that makes people stop taking selfies? Where Cotard's makes people think they have no brain, the new syndrome installs a proper-size brain. Come to think of it, I used to walk up to automatic doors and they wouldn't open. I wonder if I'm a zombie....

• An Italian doctor has been suspended from practicing in the UK after failing an English language test. In America, we promote them.

Apparently the Chinese targeted Anthem Healthcare to learn about US healthcare.  What's there to learn? Pay a lot of money to a huge corporation with solid political ties. The corporation then tries (and succeeds) not to pay a single cent in compensation. What's so complicated?

•   Hundreds of immigrant families caught illegally crossing the Mexican border told U.S. immigration agents they made the dangerous journey in part because they believed they would be permitted to stay in the United States and collect public benefits, according to internal intelligence files from the Homeland Security Department.

The school president of the University of Louisville, KY, has apologized for staff wearing Hispanic halloween costumes.  Apparently putting on a sombrero is racist and the entire staff now has to take diversity training. Colleges now designating Halloween costume sensitivity consultants.  Scottish Diversity Committee has decreed a no-kilt policy.  Jewish Anti-defamation League forbids rabbi costumes. Paranormal Response Group says NO GHOSTS.  ACLU is suing, claiming bias against witches and pagans in general. Muslims offended over birkas. Christians say ignore halloween. In fact, the only group that isn't complaining is the American Dental Association.

In other news, Walmart has its own SWAT team to prevent 'embarrassing' Halloween costumes from hitting the shelves.

• Robot buses are coming to America!  The only question is how they will get the buses to drive as poorly as human bus drivers. Can you program a bus to go through a red light?  The buses are made in France, so at least they'll be full of disdain for American bus-riders.

It's better to burn out than it is to rust?  My wife came to me, in an upset state, to inform me that our stove was rusting. Of course our stove was rusting - it's been so quiet lately. Technically she's correct; that little panel under the display has rust spots. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? Well, you can take it off, scrape and sand the entire thing down and repaint it, perhaps in your spare time. As for me, it's on my list, but waaaaaay down at the bottom, under dusting.

• You know that feeling of relief you get when you drive through an intersection and the light changes, but you made it ok?  Relief always turns to outrage when you check your rearview mirror and find that another car went right through the light and is just about inside your trunk. Bastards!

China wishes to remind its citizens that the new Two Child Policy goes into effect in March, therefore the One Child Policy is in effect until then. American math, hopefully similar to Chinese math, indicates that prospective parents can start fucking now: whatever arrives will do so after March.

• Japan and Korea have agreed to accelerate talks to resolve a row about Korean women forced to work in Japanese brothels during World War Two. Reportedly, Japan has offered to return them to Korea no later than this weekend.

Hacking group Anonymous is planning to reveal the identities of 1,000 KKK members, as obtained from the Twitter account of a clan member.  Wait - the KKK has computers?

• Sometimes a man can get in trouble, through no fault of his own. Like when your girlfriend answers with a simple hello, and you're in the shower and it's your wife on the phone - Joe Walsh, Certain Situations.

Hero of the Great Unwashed, Mark Dice, has another video, this time asking Hillary supporters if they support Sharia (Muslim) law in the US. And you know they do....

PRIVACY:  A popular iDevice encryption app has just been released for android.  I figure if Edward Snowden uses it, it should be good enough for me. It's called Signal and is available from the Play Store.  I'll assume none of us has information that's so critical it needs to be encrypted. But this isn't about criticality; this is about the right to privacy.. the right to NOT have your communications intercepted and put in a file somewhere for future use. I'm using it now.

Definitely Maybe?
My hero, Jeff Beck, released Definitely Maybe way back in 1972, on the Jeff Beck Group album. This is a wonderful instrumental. The thing that really does it for me, theme aside, is the multiple guitar tracks during the 'verse'. The way they're stacked and play off each other is really interesting and musically satisfying; for lack of better term, well-orchestrated (specifically at the end). It is also the only known (to me) use of a slide with a wah pedal.  The more than able keyboardsmanship comes courtesy of Max Middleton, who did most of the keyboards up to about Blow by Blow. Great stuff - it's a shame he's not with Jeff Today. As this is from an album, you'll hear a bit of click. Enjoy!

Dog Training

Of Colds and Classic Rock

Argh..... 

Sorry, had to be said.

I just spent a week with a particularly nasty bit of a bug.  The blasted optimists would say I should be thankful that I didn't go down for two weeks, like my wife.  This little bugger just sat there and refused to leave, kinda like Congress.

While this thing inhabited my body, I was kind of useless.  If you ask certain people, that was not much of a change.  Suffice it to say that I kinda sat there with a fever and a fuzzy brain.

After a while, the game became finding something to do whilst sitting there.  Not wanting to waste a sick day on actually being sick, I went to work for most of the week. After four days I still had a fever.  I decided that would not do.  The typical remedy was failing me (vitamin C, echinacea, zinc) so I alternated between Daytime Cold Stuff and Nighttime Cold Stuff.

Taking my temperature is something that has never gone well at my house.  This tends to be largely a problem of not being able to locate the thermometer.  Yes, living with a multiple has many joys.  And I will continue to pin this on my wife for as long as I can because it's partially my fault: if I were that interested in taking my temperature, I'd have purchased a second thermometer (or third or fourth) and hid it where I could be the one who didn't know where it was.

So I used the shortcut used by men around the globe: "I feel like a have a temperature."  This brings out the Inner Nurse (who also doesn't know where the thermometer is), who holds her arm up to my forehead and announces "You're hot."

I thank her for the compliment.

But seriously, she's my wife and has to say that stuff now and again.   After she gets done explaining that, she tells me I'm really hot.  I decline to repeat the joke, no matter how much it hurts.

So by this point I'm reasonably certain I have a fever.

The thing is.... whenever my wife feels my forehead, she tells me I have a temperature.  Sometimes I just ask her for the fun of it, even when I feel ok.  Who says science is dead?


So I took a sick day in spite of myself, hoping I could use the three day weekend to heal and be back to work.

Three days later, I was a little worried, as I still had a fever.  Fortunately it left toward the end.

Somewhere earlier I was talking about finding something to do while I was pretty much no good for anything.  When all else fails, there's the computer.  And when the laptop is on the lap, there's internet activity.

VIDEOS!

As I've mentioned, I'm a little slow on the uptake.  I don't do a ton of streaming video or audio.  Somehow I located Justin TV.  This is a site where people create channels and broadcast things that (hopefully) others will view.  There is no shortage of entertainment and content there.  The thing that really confused me was the video games.  People play video games and broadcast them for others to watch (and sometimes comment on).  Since I'm obviously not of that demographic, I have to wonder if this is really popular or goes on elsewhere.  I could find out this information with a search but I'd rather just comment on it and scratch my head.

In any case, there is a ton of content to be found at Justin.  If you can possibly tear yourself away from watching someone else play video games, you can see movies, tv shows, cartoons, ancient programming, and puppy webcams.  While I am a sucker for puppies, I haven't spent much time there.

The first thing I discovered were the `conspiracy' channels.  And my oh my are there a bunch of them.  I seriously recommend viewing some of the content, remembering to question everything and use your BS Filter at all times.  A person could really learn something there.

Then I stumbled upon some of the rock video channels.  There's one fairly constantly broadcasting channel that has a comprehensive collection of videos and concerts (you can look this up on the site's directory).  There's another guy who runs concerts on Friday nights.  He's the epitome of internet amateur broadcasting: great content, amusing comments, equipment breakdowns during the show, and you get to watch him drink soda while he comments (Yay!).  He's the genuine article.

So without further interruption (or temperature checking), I got to see a lot of video while the germs steadfastly refused to leave my system.  Here are some random thoughts....

WHITESNAKE

The Concert Dude<tm> ran a Whitesnake show from 2004 in England.  Like them or not, you have to admit that these guys are tight and put on a show.  Coverdale et al are something of a guilty pleasure (because my guitar playing friends laugh at me when I say Whitesnake) but there are some seriously good tunes there, combined with some seriously good playing.

The first highlight came when a young lady presented David Coverdale (or Coverversion, as Robert Plant refers to him) with some flowers and a note thanking him for his music and his voice.  He seemed genuinely touched but quickly recovered and thanked the lady for her f-ing t*ts, allowing as to how they were inspirational too.

I would have spit out my tea, spraying it all over my monitor, if this happened twenty years ago.  In spite of the fact I always laugh at fart jokes, it just seemed like David might have been a tiny bit long in the tooth to make these jokes.  Or perhaps he could have done it a hair more creatively.

Speaking of old fellows, one also has to give it to Mr. Coverdale for his voice.  The man can hit all of the notes, which is quite a feat for most people north of fifty.  I remember reading that he trained with a cantor after a vocal injury.  Regardless, the man sounds fantastic for any age.

The band was very well-rehearsed and tight (although way too old for Jerry Sandusky).  Tommy Aldridge played drums and has been with this incarnation of the group the longest.  He was a favorite of mine way back when he played for Pat Travers.  That was a killer rhythm section.  This man is a maniac on drums and makes the whole band sound better and tighter.   The bassist was Marco somethingorother.  They even had a keyboardist but he was way down in the mix.

Naturally the fun for me was in the guitar.  Reb Beach played largely second guitar, with his Ibanez custom Strat-style (with EMG pickups).  When he played lead, he proved himself more than capable.  He was more modern-sounding, for better or worse.  Doug Aldrich did most of the leads, using Les Pauls and Marshalls.  He used to play for Dio and had his stage act together.  This guy was something to see, with his fingers moving a mile a minute, perfectly executing the leads of the guys who recorded before him.  A lot of his trilling seemed to be executed with his first and second fingers, which is not common.  His tone was good but a little over the top with distortion for my taste.

It was funny to see most of the band shirtless.  I wonder, if I got to play all the time, would I be able to lose enough weight to look decent in only a vest.  Let's face it - I don't go shirtless because people have to eat - ya know?  Plus the hair spray would probably choke me first.

Recommended.

BLACKMORE ET AL

I got to see Ritchie Blackmore in Deep Purple and one of the Rainbow incarnations (with Dio).  Never got to see him live, so this was my first exposure.

I suspect Mr. Blackmore to have the best sense of humor in classic rock.  He never said a word but you could hear it in his playing and watch it in his antics.  At the end of both concerts, he annhilated his guitars.  Much as it hurt to see perfectly good guitars (John Hiatt) get smashed, it was also pretty amusing.  He thoroughly disembowled the Strats, yanking on the strings, breaking the headstock, using the edge of the stage to `play' the guitar, having a serious fit smashing the remains, and losing a few off the end of the stage.  He'd get another one from a roadie then proceed to atomize it, just like the previous one.  At one point he went through four guitars in minutes.  This was obviously before litigation became a hobby.

One thing I noticed in both bands was the tremendous control he had over the band. They watched him and he gave hand signals whenever he wanted something.  His equipment appeared to be stock CBS Strats into two Marshall stacks, using a reel to reel tape deck for delay and gain.

The playing was the real show, however.  From the bits I could see and hear, Ritchie seemed to almost be a bass player, as opposed to a guitarist.  He would play a single note then an octave up, just like the bass.  Not exactly a ton of power-chording.  Most interesting to observe.

Ronnie James Dio (RIP) fronted this version of Rainbow and was his usual animated (and short) self.  The man's voice defines rock vocals.  I also watched him with Heaven and Hell (pretty much Black Sabbath).  There shall never be another voice like his.

I tend to find power trios boring at times and this was the case with Heaven and Hell.  There's no denying Tony Iommi (another lefty) and his massive tone, but there's only so much one guitar can do, especially when he switches to lead.  Tony used his trademark custom-made lefty SG through Laney amps.  A good guess would be that he detunes his guitar south of normal E.


QUEEN

Speaking of power trios, I saw two Queen concerts.  One was at the Rainbow on the Sheer Heart Attack tour (Killer Queen was the big hit).  I'm at a loss for a date but I'll guess around 1972.  This was a concert filled with songs from earlier in their career. Unfortunately I'm not all that familiar with the earlier songs so it was a bit wasted on me.

Never wasted was the spectacle that is a Brian May solo.  He is a singular voice on guitar and manages to perform miracles in the power trio format.  His early work with delays was groundbreaking and still stands on its own.  There was a small mountain of his trademark Vox AC30 amps and his homemade guitar for the world to behold (along with all that talent).

The next concert was on the Night at the Opera tour (Bohemian Rhapsody was the hit).   There was a greater song selection because of two intervening albums, making for a more interesting concert (for me anyway).

Suffice it to say that you haven't lived until you have beheld Freddie Mercury in short shorts.

Well, maybe not.

In any case, Freddie (born Faroukh Bulsara) set the tone for rock frontmen.  He was bold, brash, incredibly gay, and had a voice that didn't have to be restricted to rock and roll.  [note to self: omit show tune jokes]

At the encore, they had confetti raining down on the occupants of the stadium, along with balloons tied to blow-up dolls.  Quintessential Queen.

Imagine a band with great writing, singing, playing, and a show.  You don't get that often.


ACDC

Amongst other stuff I saw a terribly early video of ACDC.  It was black and white and featured Angus before the dark schoolboy outfit.  They lacked nothing in attitude though.  It was odd to see Orange amps onstage but who's counting?

I even saw the tail end of a Blondie documentary.  To be honest I never liked the band but it was interesting to hear their story.  Can you say cocaine?  I knew you could.

---------------------------

So out of sickness came classic rock videos and concerts.  If you're a musician or rock fan, you need to check Justin out.  Even if you just like to watch videos.....


I'd stick around a bit longer but I have to wake my wife to see if my fever is still gone.

Freddie Mercury Misses 65

Today would have been Freddie Mercury's sixth-fifth birthday.  Check out Google's doodle to celebrate.

Born Faroukh Bulsara, in Zanzibar, Freddie adopted his stage name after meeting and joining up with Brian May and Roger Taylor and changing Smile to Queen.

It's hard to imagine a sixty-five year old Freddie onstage, although I wish we could see him.  If Robert Plant can do it.....

Freddie was definitely his own man.  According to some reports, he was anybody's man, but that's beyond the scope of this blog post.  There was a great segment in a documentary where they interviewed people about his parties.  One fellow stated that he could not describe the parties on the advice of his solicitor (lawyer).

There will be a biographical movie about Freddie in the near future, starring Sacha Baron Cohen.  I'm trying to decide if this will be a good thing or a bad thing.

Rock on, Freddie.