The Emotional Evils of Ebay

I don't get out much, nor does my house's heater.
I don't even get online much, also like my house's heater.
Way back, I used to spend a lot of time on Ebay, to the point of having little brown boxes showing up at my door daily. If I didn't do a few transactions per week, Mr. Ebay would call me up to make sure I was feeling ok, much like Shoe Shopping Network and Mrs lefty. Eventually it occurred to me that I had to keep paying for these things and other things started happening, so the boxes stopped. No so Mrs lefty and the shoes.

Mrs lefty understands Ebay but doesn't spend a lot of time there. Being an occasionally nice husband, I occasionally point out a thing or two, like some amazing shoes and stuff she likes. If I were possessed of any live brain cells at all, I'd have stopped showing her additional ways of shopping a long time ago, but we know of my great love for shooting myself in the foot. In fact, at this point, I know of 437 ways to shoot myself in the foot, backed up by xrays. To make matters more evil, Ebay has this relative new thing... Ebay is on its way to becoming sentient, like Sky Corp, but more expensive. Wife was looking at shoes, just doing what came natural to her, and checking the Watch button on pairs she liked. She quickly learned the button can only store 500 pairs at a time, so she pared back. The thing that shows Ebay is almost alive is where Ebay watches the watch list. If the item (we'll call it shoes) doesn't look like it's going to sell, Ebay will email you that you can buy it for $20 off or some other discount. In my second shot at my foot that day, I told my wife the shoes were $20 off. BINGO - through the foot and the wallet at the same time!

I'm going to put a guitar on the Watch List, to see what happens.

If you think Ebay is bad, Amazon is already sentient. It knows exactly what you bought and can tell you what you're going to buy next. Every now and then I buy some baby toys or high heels to confuse it.



We're on the eve, or the beginning, of  a serious heatwave. No, not the song, the temperature. I hear it's going to feel like 100 on the beach in New Jersey tomorrow. Good thing we're not in New Jersey, eh? We got a break, in that it's only going to be 99 here. So many benefits of not living in New Jersey.  Due first to the Flying AIDS, and now to the temperature, we don't get out much anyway, so we're less likely to notice how hot it is, except when we lay under the car on in the driveway. To this day, we have no idea why. The only way we really know it's hot is when the news has wall to wall coverage of how HOT it's going to be. It's just like the 5 days' warning we're going to get 1/4" of snow in the winter. WARNING: we're going to have WEATHER tomorrow!

Another thing the Flying AIDS has killed is my only summer activities: guitar shows and electronics flea markets (hamfests). Thus far, they're all canceled. We know that less time out of the house is more time in the house, which means the strain goes back on Mrs lefty.  Even though places are opening up, they still require masks, and I refuse. They make my nose sweat and annoy me. So I'm still in the house, questioning my life choices.


Florida's a mess, but this time due to the Flying AIDS, which is on the rebound. They're thinking of locking down again. I say go ahead - the more of Florida locked down, the better off the rest of the states.

Speaking of Florida, a fatal motorcycle crash was listed as a Fying AIDS death. Asked to check again, the death was removed from the Flying AIDS list. Because sometimes it's hard to differentiate between a bloody motorcycle crash and a disease. They look so much alike. Looking further, other deaths that might be removed from the Flying AIDS list involved explosions, suicide by gun, leaping off buildings, and claiming to have evidence against the Clintons.

In today's Mask Follies, a woman urinated on the floor after refusing to don a mask at a Verizon store. Police had better investigate thoroughly; things are not always what they seem. Perhaps it was a statement on the quality of Verizon's service...


An NBC Sports jockey is filing suit, claiming discrimination because he's a heterosexual.


Hundreds of people tried to pull down the very large Columbus statue in Chicago. You know, these people can probably make good money in demolition. Why don't they get jobs?


In the midst of everyone having to bow down to Black Lives Matter, everything stopped while a black guy had to do an Apology Tour to be sorry to the Jews. That's power.


This is killing me... hundreds of advertisers are cutting spending on Faceyspaces. I almost feel guilty for laughing.*               *not really


A Kentucky couple was fitted with ankle monitors and placed on house arrest after the wife tested positive for coronavirus but refused to sign self-quarantine documents, according to reports. See what happens when being kept inside for too long stops drunk tractor racing?

not available on ebay

Laptop Hinges That Heal

Black Lives Matter.

Click here to see what ThermionicEmissions is doing for black people.

We would like to acknowledge the first responders, at the convenience stores, at Dunkin Donuts, and Dairy Queen.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way......

Today's Irony News:
Mexico closes border to US due to Flying AIDS fears

I pretended all was well and ran some errands today.
The construction guys tearing up the street... no, what I mean is the guys who leave the Caterpillars and construction signs want us to know they're aware of the Flying AIDS and have put precautions in place: there's a sign that says Covid 19 precautions in effect. It doesn't appear they're doing anything anyway and we can't imagine what kind of precautions are necessary for heavy equipment, but we play along at home.


Nothing has changed at Dairy Queen: you still have to wear a mask and only 2 people are allowed in the store at one time. This results in a small city developing at their door, hungrily waiting for an ice cream product. It also results in me not stopping there, as I have the patience of a pregnant gnat. Years from now, these people will still be there.. the Soft Serve Zombies.


The most horrid thing caused by the Flying AIDS is that nude beaches feature no clothes, but you have to wear a mask. On your face.


Human sitcom Governor Gavin Newsom (R-Uranus) ordered all California wineries closed. Except his.



Never mind the Flying AIDS, Australia has a flesh eating bacteria problem. If you catch both, you could wind up on a respirator without any skin. Now shut up and go have lunch.

Waaaaay back before the bean counters started running things, you could get a good job and count on being there for life. You had a pension, steady work, and maybe even a Coke machine. 

Not anymore.

Especially the Coke machine.

What did a steady job get you?

Funny you should ask...  in the 1895's (1950's for the non-dyslexic), Leo Fender started making guitars. To give you an idea of how successful he was, you won't see a group onstage these days without a Fender guitar or amplifier. Jimi Hendrix played a Fender Stratocaster (yeah, me too). But this isn't about Leo, Jimi, or even me... this is about a little-known member of the Fender assembly line, Abigail Ybarra.

Abigail Ybarra was with Fender early on, winding pickups (those things under the strings, that use a coil of wire). Guitar players are weird on a good day; it goes downhill from there. A famous artist, or better, a famous deceased artist, obviously has something to show all guitar players, the world over.... it's just a matter of what it is. Jimi had Marshall amps. Eric Johnson has a pedal called the Fuzz Face (as did Jimi). Stevie Ray Vaughan had a pedal called the Tube Screamer, which caused a cheap box to go to $300 to start. Like I said - weird.

When dating a Fender guitar, you do not take her to a Mexican restaurant. You open her up and look for signs of the date she was made. There are also identifying initials.  People noticed the AY initials coming up a lot around pickups, so they got excited because they had Abigail Ybarra-wound pickups. Because of this, there is now an official Abigail Ybarra set of pickups you can order from Fender. She's well-known in the lunatic Fender fringe. She's famous simply for doing her job. And now one can buy Abigail Ybarra-wound pickups.

What have we learned?

1. It paid to have a job for life.
2. guitar players are waaaay out there on the stupid suspicious scale

All of my dogs have had... weird... somewhat human... talents.
Penny is a dog. And that's apparently where it stops.
I tell you this as she sits next to me, with her latest toy: a dish sponge, that she got out of its wrapper.

Today I'm reviewing Microsoft Teams.

After a considerable amount of time with it, my review is thus:

Don't.

Well, sure it works. It's solid and doesn't crash much. But the design team was off that week, so anybody who could hold a crayon was in charge. It's done in early You Can't Get There from Here style. The most notable feature is the audio/video settings. Naturally I keep the mic and camera OFF.  Microsoft supports people like me by not remembering audio/video settings. I have to turn them both off every time I use the program. Ah, Microsoft, your quirks are why I love you.  (and why I use linux)

Captivity - Day 84 Wanna See My Tire Iron?

Live Sitcom Time occurred today. This is one of those times when things seem so bizarre, you think you must be on tv.

Mrs lefty is in her office. I'm enjoying the cool air on the couch, stretched out, getting ready to start the snoring.

--> LIGHTS <--

BANG

CRASH

WHOOSH BANG

Ok, I'll play.... I opened a singular eye.  The light is blinding and Mrs lefty is sliding stuff off the table onto the floor and into the trash.  BANG

I'm amazed at the timing. It was minutes after I laid down. I looked around for the tv cameras but couldn't find any. No studio audience either.  CRASH

I couldn't let this go, so in my sweetest tone, I asked if I was sleeping too quietly for her.

NO, I killed 3 [BANG]  4 ants!
Everything has to be thrown out and get the ant bait. I'll spray. Call the neighbors... if we have 4, they probably have hundreds. This is the time of year when they come inside.

I'll call the police too, just to let them know.
It's going to be a long night.



Flying AIDS Fallout

I hate to sound like a reviewer or salesman, but medicine is undergoing a paradigm change as a result of the Flying AIDS. Because of the way telehealth worked out, docs and patients are supposedly really happy with it. This will be an important factor when people are 'allowed' to go to work and the doctor's office. Doc may not be that interested in seeing you in-person. It's causing problems now because most docs and staff aren't in their office, so they can't get to everything or communicate immediately with their staff and coworkers.

Consider that your 'appointment' can be over the phone or video, using your phone or other device. Are you comfortable with either of these? Do you have a space that you can be alone and not be overheard? Do you want Doc to see what's on your walls or your naked spouse running around the room? Does telemedicine sound good to you?



Americans are a bright, creative group, who can weather any storm. To that effect, strip clubs are offering 'coronavirus-free lap dances', drive-thru pole dances, and food delivery.  A lap dance with a mask-wearing stripper, performed 6' away sounds less than optimal, but who am I to judge? It just proves we have great imaginations too.

(Reuters) - Sexual activity among young American men has declined sharply since 2000, with nearly a third reporting no sex with a partner in the prior year, according to a survey study published on Friday that suggests social media and electronic gaming might be filling the void.  Any male who would refuse sex for social media or games should be examined: blood work, intrusive psychotherapy, testosterone levels, penis check, and STD testing to make sure the worms haven't bored into his brain and eaten it slowly. The only thing that would cause this in men over 20 would be marriage.



Social media 'influencers', as a term, ar just silly
With that in mind, I just read that the influencers are wearing blackface, in solidarity with Black Lives Matter.  I remember way back in the dark past (of last week), Jimmy Fallon was on his knees, apologizing for being in blackface over 10 years ago.  There appears to be some uncertainty about whether blackface is ok or not. After we figure this out, we can ignore the social media influencers and force them to get real jobs.



Told You So
The other day I said that you can't have a discussion because you're not allowed to talk about certain things. Stealing my thunder, days later, is NY Mag's Intelligencer, where Andrew Sullivan asks "Is there still room for debate?" He's right. Of course I was right first.



Can you explain to me how one of the largest corporations on earth can put out an email program that won't open to the same size every time? Sometimes it comes up like I set it. Sometimes fullscreen or halfscreen. (rhymes with Mouthbook365)

And that same humongous entity can put out a huge chat program that can't remember your audio/video settings and cannot be made smaller than 1/4 of your entire screen, like its predecessor? (rhymes with Beams)

We know how I feel about Microsoft, but this annoys normal people too.



China media says the US is having a 'cultural revolution'.
Offers to lend Trump a tank for Al Sharpton to stand in front of.



Listen up, Christians
Christianity Today calls for churches to pay reparations to black people: "Repentance is not enough."

A spokesman for Black Lives Matter said that they were recruiting heavily due to multiple upcoming church protests.

Fearing peaceful protest, churches are upgrading their fire detectors.

Let's Play the Loot

Black Lives Matter is protesting a black policewoman shooting a black man by looting a CVS, Walmart, and local businesses. They certainly showed those businesses, which will never shoot a black man again. Also featured in the protest was assault on a member of the press and a shooting. Is this what they call a mixed message?

• It's now Fall. I'm so happy I could just slit my wrists. Well, not exactly my wrists, but somebody's wrists. The good news is that it's going to be 84 today.

As you've probably heard, Yahoo was hacked to the tune of 500 million accounts. If you have a Yahoo account, get over there NOW and change your password. Not that anyone reading this blog would use a password for more than one site, but if you did, it's time to change that password to a unique one for each site. THIS IS IMPORTANT.

The suspicion is that Yahoo was hacked by 'state-sponsored' hackers. In english, this probably means Russia, because the NSA is already in there.

• The good news is that our government is taking notice of voting machine security. One of the critters wants to make voting machines 'critical infrastructure,' meaning that they would be Serious Shit and protected by the Department of Homeland Security. That is Bad News. If DHS 'protected' our voting machines, people would be carrying complete hacking kits into the booth, along with weapons, liquids over 3 ounces, and porn.

Sad news... Terry Jones, of Monty Python, has been diagnosed with dementia. He can no longer perform or give interviews due to speech difficulties.

• 'We', meaning Me, are testing a new feature, called Followers. You can find it on the top right of the page, with a lovely blue button. Please push the button to see what happens (because I sure as hell don't know)

Security researcher Brian Krebs' site has been the target of the largest DOS (Denial of Service) attack ever; twice the size of the most recent largest attack. Brian writes about hacking and hacker groups and tends to raise the ire of said groups, sometimes resulting in SWAT teams sent to his house or packages of drugs delivered to him.  The attack was so bad that his attack-protection service (Akamai) had to drop him. Good Guy Google stepped in to help, with its service designed to protect free speech. Both services were offered free to Mr. Krebs. 

How do these attacks happen? Very poorly protected devices (internet-connected cameras, baby monitors, thermostats, refrigerators) are hacked and grouped into huge attack robots, pointed at one address, like Mr. Krebs'. So much traffic is generated that few, if any, can get through to the site. This is one reason the Internet of Things is going to be a problem. Remember: the first big IoT device, the Nest thermostat, was hacked almost immediately. THINK before you put anything on the internet.

• Archaeology students at a leading London university have been given permission to walk out of classes if they find dealing with some topics too traumatic. Can you imagine walking out of one of your college classes because you were triggered?  We are raising a generation of Snowflakes, unable and unwilling to deal with any sort of conflict or even unpleasant opinions/facts belonging to others. This is starting to become pervasive, leading me to wonder from where it's coming.

Holy Smoking Phone, Batman: a Samsung Galaxy Note 2 caught fire in an overhead airplane bin, terrorizing a flight to India.  This is technically referred to as a 'lithium battery suffering a thermal runaway'. Or 'it flipping blew up'. Here's the story, complete with juicy pictures.

• Forbes magazine came out with a list of the best cities to live in the US. Number 41 is Levittown, PA., the only PA city to make the list. Levittown is a mirror of Levittown, NY, which was a planned community by William Levitt.  I can allow for change but I spent a bit of time in Levittown when I was younger, via playing in their clubs and a girlfriend or two.  While there are many cities in PA that should win an award, Levittown is not one. The phrase Blue Collar Hell comes immediately to mind (as distinguished from Blue Collar).

Apparently there is NO pumpkin in a can of 100% Pumpkin. The USDA is a wonderful thing.

• Tonight is the first debate. I can tell you two things I won't be watching: the debate and football. Still not sure what I am doing. You?