Captivity - Day 92 That's NOT My Keys

I'm listening to the scanner, because there's unrest in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
There's unrest all over the place, but at least Tulsa has an accent. Here's a report you probably don't hear often: "Man with an AR-15, white shirt. A group of them, all with body armor."  Now that's a parade!


Mrs lefty, knowing my abject hatred of those masks, bought me a... umm... thing... it's a black stretchy tubey thing that you put your head through. It sits on your neck and you raise it to cover your face and nose. It's black, so it's very nice and warm in the 85 degree weather. When I went to get our malts, other people were wearing their regular Stupid White Masks<tm>. I had my Stupid Black Mouth Rag. It occurred to me that the employees can no longer tell the customers from the robbers. Black Hoodies Matter. Dairy Queen was all set up for the Flying AIDS: only 4 in the store at one time. There were huge red X's on the floor, so we could maintain social distancing. I wanted to puke, but I wanted a malt* more. Around here, you have to belt your drinks in, even with a carrier, because the people on the roads shouldn't be. When you have to brake, the malts will go flying. Nothing screws up a day like a damaged malt.


Earlier this evening, on the longest day of the year, Uranus was in retrograde.
It is always good to know where Uranus has been.


IRS Used Cellphone Location Data to Try to Find Suspects
They failed, fortunately for our rights. "But I have nothing to fear... I don't break the law."  Actually you do: your civil rights are being usurped. You have a right to the pursuit of happiness, speech, assembly, guns, not having your privacy invaded and property stolen, etc. Each time you ignore this, you're that much closer to losing your rights permanently.


These kids today.... they don't even know how to roll down a car window.


Muhammed Ali, Jr, son of his father, says Muhammed Ali would be against Black Lives Matter, calling the movement "racist" and the protesters "devils."

Speaking of BLM: a black preacher informed the crowd that 'Planned Parenthood #1 killer of blacks.'
Never one to avoid non-sequitirs, she continued with, 'The reason blacks don't play golf is the shit those honkies wear.'



The Chinese media proposes Beijing pass 'George Floyd Human Rights Bill.'
Stop it. Stop it.
The problem with Chinese laws is that after an hour, you have to pass another law.
But seriously, folks, America thanks China for the tribute as it passes the 'Victims of Coronavirus Rights Bill.'



Newspapers have crosswords.
Other blogs have great content.
I have... ummm...  a test of perception:

.   .

Above we have 2 periods.
One is a regular period, the other is an italic period. Can you tell me which is which?




* What is a malt? You know those malted milk balls with the chocolate shell? The light part is a powder and it's blended in with a milkshake. It's a delight, and by that, you can tell I'm a real simpleton who doesn't get out much.

we call this piece "How to get your cause ignored"

Captivity - Day 80 lefty Lives Matter

You'd have to be dead to miss all the protesting lately. Some agree, some disagree, some throw acid, and some just don't understand. We didn't understand, until yesterday, when we started lefty Lives Matter.

You think it will never happen to you.
Until it does.
Then you get an appreciation for the struggles of others.

It was a nice day - there were no clouds or any obstructions. No demonstrating.
As on all good days, there was a trip to Dairy Queen to procure a malt and banana split (sometimes only a split, because dogs don't like bananas).

Out of nowhere, a police car comes ROARING around Mrs lefty, causing her to brake. Officer Zoom waved 'oops' and flew down the street. And everything that came from Dairy Queen was all over the car.

This was only because I'm left handed - don't tell me otherwise.
This is an insult to anyone who doesn't use their right hand. An insult to Dairy Queen and all other ice-cream-like stores. An insult to us all, as citizens of the Earth. And, according to Al Sharpton, an insult to black people.

There will be demonstrations.
Demands for reparations.
Huge cleaning bills.
Looting of stores that don't carry things for lefties.
Throwing right handed legislators off bridges.
A huge contingent of right handers marching with us  (Right Guilt)
People who identify as lefties.
Police will have to take Dexter Sensitivity Training. Colleges will offer them.
A special contingent of the Lactose Intolerant, marching in solidarity (sorta).
In protest, all major sports will Take A Straw before the game (in their left hand)
Any member of the press who questions the movement will have to apologize.
The street will be closed down as a permanent memory of the injury and reminder of systemic left-ism.
A clear distinction between the left handed and the political left
Don't give me that crap about them not knowing I was left handed, even though I wasn't in the car

Upside Down World

In an effort to mend fences with the black community in Minneapolis, police were caught on tape slashing tires at a protest.

[Kentucky governor] Beshear says state will put resources into making sure all black residents have health insurance.

It's not like I haven't been saying this.....

Just let me know, through the Comments, when I've been locked up too long.