Lighthouses Don't Fly

The above is an answer to people who say the Rendlesham ufo incident was just people seeing a lighthouse. This is per someone involved.



New York City is considering its own digital currency.
Unfortunately your purchases will be limited to $16 because $32 is too much to spend and the local government wants to protect you from it.



Speaking of Rendlesham, I just heard (KGRA) a show called Phenomenon Radio. John Burroughs was one of the military people who went outside the base and saw the UFO, 2 nights in a row, in December 1980.

Right after the sighting, he was diagnosed with health problems (atrial fibrillation, mitral valve prolapse, cataract). He got sick and was fixed to some degree. Years later, he got sick again, with congestive heart failure. The doctor was confused about what was happening and said it would be helpful to see his medical records from the Air Force.

When they tried to get the records from the VA, they were told no - the records were classified. They could have the records from before and after Rendlesham, but not during.

Burroughs went to his senator, John Kyle, to help get the records. He was told that Burroughs was not in the Air Force during those years. The VA lied to a senator. Burrows has paperwork and pay records for the time he 'wasn't in the Air Force.' (DD214 form, which the Air Force tried to alter).

Burrows went to long time senator John McCain, whose office did a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request for the records. It went unanswered. They could not get any information to show he was in the Air Force at that time.

Some information was released; enough to allow John to get surgery.
Burrows called the VA and was told he was being lied to - there was plenty of paperwork on him being in the Air Force during those years.

Burroughs' lawyer said he wasn't going to take the case because it looked like the VA was going to settle with him. Cheryl Bennett, of McCain's office, continued to fight, providing all sorts of documentation that he was injured at Rendlesham, during a ufo sighting. The records were finally sent to McCain's office, admitting that he was in the Air Force at that time.

Eventually the VA admitted he was at Rendlesham, and that the health issues were caused by exposure to a UFO.  Burroughs was given full medical disability.

DISCLOSURE! The government just acknowledged the presence of UFOs.

• I don't know what to do, but I need to not get it done in a hurry.

All this nonsense about the Royal Family has produced some openings.
I was offered a spot and I get to choose my title.
I'm going with what everybody calls me anyway: Royal Asshole

• I think the president unilaterally deciding to surgically bomb Iran was a good thing. By doing this, he drastically reduced the number of assholes involved in the decision.

Charmin has a 'pooptime robot' that will bring you a new toilet paper roll.
The next version will make a reservation for a seat, set your phone to Do Not Disturb, and warm the seat for you.


No way the cops are using SiriusXM to find criminals.
They're using SiriusXM Guardian.
This On-Star-like service tracks you and can give your info to police.
Rip this shit out of your car, along with any other connected feature.


Apple's scanning iCloud photos for child abuse images.
Yay - fighting child abuse is great!
Uh-oh.. Apple is looking at your pictures. Child abuse now. What's next?
Get yer frickin pictures out of iCloud. Look for a non-cloud solution, or something encrypted that the host can't see.


Google voice assistant acquires an 'undo' command.
Because you're upset that everything you say is listened to by Google, Google gives you an unrelated command to erase something you just said. So considerate and responsive.


Ring employees have been fired for 'improperly accessing Ring users' video data.'  Translated, this means they watched your videos. Note that this is not ONE employee.

[TOLD YOU SO graphic] 
Hey, I can see who's at my door!  
Wait - the police are endorsing these and want my video? 
Ring employees watch my video?



Alex Trebek has his farewell speech planned. There is no word on when he will give it. He's been fighting stage 4 pancreatic cancer since March 2019 and has shared the news with his fans.

Stop for a second and think about what it must be like, choosing to work under a death sentence.

“People all over America and abroad have decided they want to let me know now, while I'm alive, about the impact that I've been having on their existence," he said. 

This is your several-times-a-year reminder to appreciate and cherish the important people in your life. Resolve your differences, because you never know when you won't see them again. Tell people you appreciate them and what they do.



Cosmologists have no idea why the universe seems to be expanding more rapidly than expected.

They should've ask me: it's because the universe is in a hurry to get away from Earth.



A Pentagon official told Newsweek, off the record, than an Iranian anti-aircraft missile shot down the Ukranian 737-800 over Iran by mistake.

They thought it was a 737 MAX and didn't want it crashing into a school.

Speaking of which, the BBC quotes a worker as saying the plane was 'designed by clowns'

Internal emails from Boeing were released.
"Would you put your family on a Max simulator trained aircraft? I wouldn't."

Remember this next time you send email at work. Everything you type can be seen and can be released to the public.

I’m sick of hearing how we celebrities are in some kind of bubble and we don’t understand real life. When I’m out in public and people approach me, I’m always interested in what they have to say to my security detail.        - Pat Sajak

• I'm just not ready for this. "Ordinary Man" from Ozzy, featuring Elton John.
• Yes, anything is better than Cardi B, but still....

If you're still using Win 7 for some reason, this is what happens when support ends (1/14). Hint: there are other operating systems. Avoid Win 10 like the plague.





Dear lefty

• How is 2020 for you so far?
• Well, 18 days into it and nobody died, so I've got that going for me.

Today I identify as  an illegal incandescent bulb. I'm a outlaw.



Heroes of the Stupid

A state senator from Vermont introduced a new bill that would ban cellphone use by anyone under 21.  "Young people are too immature to use cellphones."
Don't stop at 21.


Army veteran has prosthetic legs repossessed after VA refuses to pay for them.
Who thought there would be negative press about this?


Not all queer people believe in astrology — and those who don't often feel alienated from the LGBTQ+ community at large. Read the author's name.

It's Raining Twinkies. Or Minions

Israel hacked into antivirus provider Kaspersky, where they discovered the FSB (Russian spy agency) has been, along with NSA spy tools and viruses. Kaspersky said they don't help any governments nor will they. Kaspersky detected a breach and reported on it. Israel warned the US in 2015. Quick as you can say 'chrysanthemum,' two years later, the US government banned Kaspersky from its networks. At this point, no one has proven Kaspersky to be involved in any of this directly. Regardless, they've been smeared and implicated and their business is going to take a hit.  It's like James Bond on acid.

• October 11 is National Coming Out Day. I'd like to make an announcement. It's been very difficult on me for many years, but it's time to reveal myself to my readers for what I am. From this day forward, I will be known as heterosexual.

The Department of Treasury denies domestic spying.

The Office of Intelligence and Analysis (OIA) is under Treasury and examines foreign intelligence. However, there is evidence (twelve anonymous sources) that, like their friends in the NSA and CIA, it is spying domestically too.

The Department of Treasury denies domestic spying.

Banks and financial organizations are required to turn over information daily and the OIA has had its nose there.

The Department of Treasury denies domestic spying.

Leaks made it to the government and Buzzfeed. Congressional inquiries went unanswered.

The Department of Treasury denies domestic spying.

These departments and this government are completely out of hand. If the opportunity for expansion exists, they'll take it. If the opportunity for spying exists, they'll take it. Any attempted oversight is ignored, stymied, and laughed at. There is no accountability.  And we're paying for the privilege of being spied upon.

• A New York man threatened a Las Vegas style shooting at a Denver company. He stated that he would get on a plane and fly there if they didn't pay him $100. I would have demanded at least enough to cover the plane ticket.

Google admits its new smart speaker was eavesdropping on customers, after a reviewer caught it uploading everything it heard to Google. Google says they have fixed the 'bug', by which they mean they've made it much harder to detect. People are paying for a device that will let Google (or Amazon) spy on you. I am shocked. SHOCKED, that Google eavesdrops.

• The Boy Scouts have announced they will admit girls into the Cub Scouts and establish a program for older girls. This is a big step forward. It's quite original.. you could almost call it something like... girl scouts. That would be a good name.

Faceyspaces went down for a bit the other day. Production in all sectors of America went up and brain cell loss went down 80%.

• I'm home, on a late business call. A long time ago, I learned to mute my microphone at all times, unless I'm speaking. I learned this because it keeps me from imitating my boss' accent or injecting 'witty' comments about the current topic.
• BANG. BANG BANG.
• BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
• BANG BANG.
• BANG BANG BANG BANG.
• I noticed some noise.
• BANG BANG BANG BANG
• Good thing my mic is muted.
• BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
• In any other house, this would be amusing or distracting. In my house, it's like a live-action cartoon.*
• Thump thump thump... HEY LEFTY...LEFTY...
• CAN YOU OPEN THE BATHROOM DOOR? I CAN'T GET IN.
• I quietly point to my phone, as if to say WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE $*#& ALONE - I'M ON AN IMPORTANT BUSINESS CALL. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG does not help my concentration and the boss likes when I listen to him.
• Thump thump thump.
• BANG BANG BANG
• BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG. Because if it doesn't work, keep trying the same solution. BANG BANG BANG BANG.
• Call ends, I take a look. Somebody locked the bathroom door. Gnomes, probably. Since this is a very secure lock, I can probably dislodge it with my Secret Lockpicking Kit.
• Most of my early life was spent looking for phillips screwdrivers. Since my religion forbids putting anything away after I use it, I could never find a phillips driver. Mind you, I had standard screwdrivers all over the place. Now that I'm grown (allegedly), I can only find phillips screwdrivers. Phillips drivers are the one driver that will not go in my Secret Lockpicking Kit.
• Since people keep giving me those really cool multitool knife jobbies, I found my most Swiss version, with the LED flashlight built in. I had to keep adjusting it because the LED would come on by itself. Gnomes, probably.
• After 15 minutes I managed to make the standard screwdriver come out to play and fired up the LED so I could see. POOF - the last forever, low power LED didn't work - the battery was kaput.
• One blind screwdriver insertion and twist later, the door was open and I was muttering to myself much more quietly and not even cursing more than normal. Good thing this lock is very secure.
• This would look like magic to the person requesting access to the bathroom, but she had disappeared during the uninterrupted portion of my work phone call. Gnomes, probably.

* My house is frequently cartoonish. Stuff happens that you often see in cartoons. While 'helping' me cook or do dishes, Marshall sits or lays on the kitchen floor. If I fill his bowl with food, he leaps up to follow me. Unfortunately the floor is some type of lineoleum and he can't get traction on it, causing him to keep trying over and over again, slipping each time. I keep waiting for the banging on pots sound effect that goes with this in cartoons.

The other day I managed to produce absolutely the most perfect, unavailable, cannot reproduce sight gag that ever existed. While taking out the trash, my view down was obstructed. I stepped on a push broom and the handle jumped right up and hit me in the face. You cannot make this happen even if you set it up perfectly, or you are one of the Three (dead) Stooges. Since my nose was not broken, all I could do was laugh (and start mentally typing it up for ThermionicEmissions). Dear readers, I live my life for you.

• "Fatphobia is violence", some fat lady opined online, complete with pictures of her being fat in lingerie. Words kill. In this case, pictures too.

This month's Microsoft patch includes a fix for a tiny issue. You can encrypt messages in Outlook. And if you do, they will encrypt, and the recipient will unencrypt them. The tiny issue is that, with the encrypted message is a plain text copy of the email. To their credit, Microsoft jumped right on this issue, which was discovered in May.

• This Harvey Weinstein affair is tragic and will continue to be in the news for a while. Aside from the heinous nature of his abuses is the heinous covering up by Harvey's famous people and news outlets. Everybody knew what he was up to and nobody spoke up til recently. Now everybody's piling on, which is a step in the right direction. Except Lindsey Lohan, who is staunchly defending him. After five days, even Hillary Clinton spoke up.

An Australian man was hurt by a flying dildo, launched from the naughty bits of an exotic dancer. This is the kind of news story we need. It has it all: injury, physics, and an exotic dancer. Think of her muscular control!

Wet T-Shirt Nite

Yes, that's right, the secret phrase for tonight is Wet T-Shirt Nite!

• US casino stocks fell after the Las Vegas incident. No one saw that coming.
• Remember: guns don't kill people - country music does.
• Speaking of guns, gun stocks went up.

A CBS legal executive, Haley Geftman-Gold, stated on Faceyspaces that she had no sympathy for the Las Vegas victims because country music fans are right wing, gun toters. She had no hope that the Repugs would do the right thing. Several hours later, she was without employment. CBS disavowed her statement.

Not to be outdone, Hillary Clinton said this event should not be politicized, then went on to politicize it, going after the NRA.  Lest anyone be confused about gun control, the weapon used by the shooter was an automatic, which is already illegal and difficult to obtain. So much for gun control working.

• RIP Tom Petty. I wasn't a fan but can't deny his impact.
• Tom spent the better part of the day in the hospital after a cardiac arrest. At this point, everyone could agree that he was in the hospital but no one could tell if he was alive or dead. Calling Dr. Schroedinger...
• Tom used to follow me.. not in the creepy paranoid way.. more in the "Oh God, here he is again" kinda way. Like I said, I'm not a fan, but if I got in the car and turned on the radio, there he was. If I went into a department store, his music was playing overhead. It got so bad, as verified by others, that when I'd turn on the tv, he was there too. Fortunately The Petty Effect went away, years ago.

Hey, it's National Cybersecurity Awareness Month!  So go about your business and ignore it.

• They're baaaaaack. Yes, Loud Construction Company is back, after a week's break, working on the neighbor's house. Perhaps they went to a seminar on how to Keep It Loud. It started and continues with the Serious Sledgehammer on Concrete noise. It sounds like it's coming from my front steps.
• Because my nerves are a little off-kilter today, Loud Construction Company isn't going to be alone, no sir. The house phone rang, like an icepick through my ears. At the same moment, my phone rang. While this symphony of ring is happening, I'm listening to Robin Trower on my computer. All of this cacophony is unnerving, like an icepick through my skull, pounded in with a sledgehammer (on concrete).
• While my eyeballs roll around like a slot machine, my wife is talking to me on my phone. We have a special feature activated when I'm trying to talk, called the No Talk Feature. When she's talking, if I attempt to say anything at all, she can't hear me and keeps talking. Sometimes when she's not talking, she still can't hear me. I'm starting to wonder if the No Talk Feature was ordered through our phone company or something she just made up.
• It's the end of my work day and I'm having trouble finishing up two items. I let my coworker know that the two items need attention. He asks which two items. The two items I mentioned, one of which has my bloody name on it. I think we are burdened by speaking the same language, which is generally referred to as English. Perhaps he speaks the Swahili variant of English, wherein he misses every other sentence. Or the Urdu version, where every other word is dropped but still spoken. It doesn't matter if I email him - it's every bit as frustrating in email, but I can shout and bang my head on the floor.

Marshall has had few side effects from his chemotherapy: largely it's lethargy. He went back for bloodwork today, after which they decided to lower his dosage because he shouldn't have side effects (damn him). Aside from dosage, I asked what the blood showed. It won't show anything til they check next week. But didn't they take blood last week? Yes. Didn't they do chemo last week? Yes. Then why didn't they know anything between last week and this week. Well, he has to have chemo first. But he DID have chemo - last week. Yes. But.. but.. but.. there's a reason I don't like the medical field, and it's not just because I tend to pass out when I see blood.

• Remember that 2013 Yahoo email breach that didn't hit all their accounts? They 'revised it upward' so that it now hit all 3 billion email accounts. Math.

A Drexel University professor blames the Las Vegas shooting on 'Trumpism' and white men. Drexel stated that the professor's tweets don't represent the university. Those who can, do. Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, teach gym. Those who can't teach gym, teach at universities. I think I'm going to need a Safe Space now. With soft pillows and a puppy.

My boobies lie over the ocean

My boobies lie over the sea

My boobies lie over the ocean

Bring back my boobies to me

Inpeach!

OJ Simpson has been granted parole.
He told the judge that "he'd kill to get out of there." - Gilbert Gottfried
Hide your collectibles.  - twitter

• Just a short time after the suicide of Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington (singer: Linkin Park, STP) hung himself. The only question remaining is what these rock stars knew about Hillary Clinton.

It's somewhat unlikely that you'll get to visit the International Space Station, but you can do a Google Street View of it. Spoiler: the view is inside only and there are no aliens visible.

• In a 2015 general election in England, an investigation into allegations of pedophilia against a councillor was stalled to help the Labour Party. After the election, the councillor was convicted of downloading child porn. Do you have any idea how high up this goes?

There are hotels that charge you fifty dollars a day to store personal items in the mini fridge. Guess where... if you guessed Detroit, you'd be wrong. California, yes. Besides - goes to Detroit voluntarily?

• There is a coffee shop called Bitty and Beau's Coffee, which only employs people with disabilities. That really says something.
• Of course there's going to be that one ass who gets upset because his order is wrong. He yells, "What are you, retarded?" The entire store comes to a stop and answers, "Why yes, we are."

Bored? Go to Familytreenow.com - once the shock is over...
Go to https://www.familytreenow.com/optout to get yourself removed.

• Zakk Wylde, professional wild man, sometime guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne, solo artist and founder of Black Label Society has put forth his own line of coffee. Yeah, it's a bit more expensive. We picked up Valhalla and Death Wish. Both are medium roast, as opposed to our usual french roast. Death Wish has rather a lot of caffeine in it. I tried both, which were kinda light, as expected, but good-tasting. The Death Wish did not have me banging against the walls, which is most fortunate. The story goes that Zakk used to drink a cup of Death Wish before shows. I suspect that buzz is normal.

One of the greatest inventions of the 2000s, the Roomba, will actually spy on you. The company will be selling 'maps' of your house. But it's ok, you have to opt-in. The cat, meanwhile, will sell the same info for five cents less than the Roomba.

• An American and a Swedish company have asked some of their employees to voluntarily get chipped, for the purposes of entering the building, logging into their computers, and cashless purchases from the company store. George Orwell and Christians are screaming from the grave and in person. What could possibly go wrong?

In wonderful news, Adobe has announced the death of Flash. No updates will be produced after 2020. This means the web and any other users of Flash will have to decide what they're using next. Then the hacking will start on that. The wicked Flash is dead!

• The DEFCON Hacking Convention is taking place in Las Vegas. Having learned from past years, many local vendors are shutting down their networks out of sheer terror. UPS Store will not accept anything on USB. The only store that is safe is Starbucks - where do all geeks go all day?

Very few in the country (and outside) have not been paying attention to the press and the travails of President Trump. We all know I'm a libertarian and think that anyone was better than Hillary. The press coverage, plus online commentary, is ridiculously biased, if not outright lies. Yes, Fake News exists.

I suspect if Trump stood on an earthmover and made a short speech about how great America is, we would see the following:

• Trump stood on a what he called an earthmover. In reality, it's a dump truck.  - NBC News
• Drumpf is an idiot - twitter
• The president, today, spoke from a piece of construction equipment, obviously provided by Russia.  - CNN
• That's not even the real color of an earthmover - here's a link to paint samples from that year of production.  - Reddit
• We have evidence that the bolt that holds the upper part of the mirror on was made in China. Kim Kardashian told us.  - DailyMail
• I stole an earthmover, smashed a few cars, and tipped it over. - FB video
• Obama did it better -  Huffington Post
• We need Obama more than ever.  - twitter
• The president bravely stood on a symbol of American engineering. - Fox news
• Did you see the way his shoes were tied? INPEACH!  -FB
• Today the president cut off all aid to the poor.  - CNN
• This proves that the president is an antisemite  - Jewish Defense League
• He is full of hate.  - Southern Poverty Law Center
• He's a racist.  - Black Lives Matter
• Why were there no overweight, non-armpit shaving transgender women of color in the video?  - social justice warriors
• He is making America great again!  - Sean Hannity
• HE STOLE THE ELECTION - the Democrats. All of them.

*Inpeach: parody of the people who scream "IMPEACH" whenever Trump does something.