This is the Next One

Russian election interference in the upcoming election is getting out of hand. They are having so much trouble getting past security that they applied for 5,000 absentee ballots.


Dear lefty

• Have you given much thought to your epitaph?
• I was thinking of "She finally got me." 

Your love is like week old raw fish, left on the back porch

• North Korean Modest Leader for Life, Kim Jong Illin, apologized for the accidental killing of a South Korean officer, who was accidentally shot then accidentally set on fire, on the way back to South Korea.

I just saw this bumper sticker.... "See you soon - Jesus"
That's creepy.

Is He watching us, like the NSA? Will He be stopping by, after this many years?
Or is the bumper sticker supposed to distract us so much that we'll crash and die? Sneaky, Big J....

• Hey, if you're a resident of Lake Jackson, Texas, you might want to buy bottled water. Tap water would be safe to drink, if it weren't for the brain-eating microbe, Naegleria fowleri. Boil before drinking, don't let shower water get up your nose.
• The CDC says people cannot get infected by swallowing contaminated water, and it cannot be passed from person to person. They stopped short of a mask mandate.

NYC Virus Spike Continues in Jewish Areas of Brooklyn, QueensThe Anti-Defamation League is looking into this, claims virus is antisemitic.

• United Air received $5 billion in the first bailout.
• The giveaway totaled $25 billion across the industry.
• You will pay this back.
• Small businesses have gone under
• Congress is contemplating more

The only better way to watch sports on tv is with the tv off. I'm watching it with the sound off, occasionally glancing over the top of the laptop while typing. This is really strange behavior, because I don't like sports. It's movement and shiny things that distract me. Each time I see movement, I look up, realize it's sports, then look back down. Over and over again, like Homer Simpson and a wooden donut.

I gather it's a soccer football game, as the guy in front of the walk-in net is dressed like Kermit the Frog, in head to toe green. Naturally at the beginning, one of them was on his knee for Black Lives Matter. He got up and kicked the ball at his teammate, who was swanning for child abuse (on his front, arms out, head up). This was the first injury of the game. The next injury was when a member of the other team tripped someone who was doing ballet for women's equality causes. The first goal sailed right past the goalie, who was sitting down, reading the paper, to symbolize all the black children who can't read the paper. The next kickoff bounced right off the crotch of the player standing on his head, against online bullying. Tragedy struck, when the entire team piled on a guy who was holding his ears out and waggling his tongue to call attention to the rainforest. Two players were injured while passing the other goalie, who set himself on fire to protest the California wildfires. At the end of the game, there was only one player, who blew himself up in protest of no asian or caucasian players on the field at any time during the game. Just kidding. He went through a pane of glass, to symbolize the plight of peaceful demonstrators encountering businesses.

During the break, Joe Biden promised a mask mandate and to call out the National Guard and Army to enforce it across the country. He also said to get the navy, marines, and air force on alert, as they would be enforcing the mask mandate in 27 countries where we're not already enforcing something. Finally, Joe promises not to raise taxes (Congress will take care of that).

• Who says we all can't get along? The leader of a nazi terror group was paid to work with the US Special Forces on targeting and counterterrorism.

Joe was my buddy in school. He had a lot of luck with the ladies, but it was more skill than luck. I had no luck, no skill, and no ladies. Being a friend, Joe would try to hook me up with girls he felt would be a good match (I hesitate to call them his rejects). They all seemed to have something.... uhhhh... different about them. One small thing that just wrecked an otherwise nice package. You know.. shaved head, prison tattoo, better facial hair than me, claims of Tourette's Syndrome, which just meant they liked to curse out loud, frequently. I appreciated Joe's efforts (right up until I met them) because he really tried, and really laughed after he failed. And he failed every time.

Finally Joe came up with a 'can't miss'... I tried to trip him up on every description of Miss New Jersey:

She has a great personality.  One?
She has a killer body. Who has she killed?
She's very witty. Compared to which kindergarten class?
She's warm. Do I have to hurry before she gets cold?
She has big hair.  Does it come off at night?
She has a great job! Will she get promoted from pumping gas and be allowed to work the donut counter inside?
She has very kissable lips.  Under her mustache?
Nice legs.  Like Serena Williams? They'll crack your head like a walnut.
She has a college degree. I have 64 rolls of toilet paper- I can cover more area.
She likes men. Great improvement over the last one, who WAS a man.
She has nice boobs.  How much did they cost?
She has a great smile. Any teeth?

They say the way to figure out how a woman is going to look in the future is to look at her mother.  I asked Joe if her mother also looks like Godzilla.  GOTCHA!

Happys

George Lynch - Dokken, solo

Randy Bachman - Bachman Turner Overdrive

Meat Loaf - Meat Loaf
Tiran Porter - bass, Doobie Brothers

Bye Byes 

John Henry Bonham - Led Zeppelin's drummer extreme
Miles Davis
Robert Palmer - "Addicted to Love"

SJW Results?

I was with some cousins the other day, including one whose gender was probably several places on the spectrum at once. I don't care who you are or what you do, but I have a terrible feeling I know where all this is going.. Little Johnny is going to have to turn in his report and speak to the class about it. The teacher will have to prod him strongly to stand in front of the class. In a nightmare that will keep recurring his entire life, Little Johnny will have to stand in front of the class, with all his clothes on, and admit he's a heterosexual. The laughing will hurt the most. The booing will be pretty bad too. The chants of 

'Filthy Straight' will be over the top.

Johnny came home crying from school every day because the kids wouldn't leave him alone. His parents loved him for what he was, but understood how hard it is growing up different. They suggested maybe he should try taking it up the butt - he might like it. That might make him one of the popular kids. Johnny wouldn't hear of it. They suggested he dress in his mom's clothes. Again, he refused. They said maybe he could try identifying as male on odd days and female on even days. Little Johnny just said, "I am what I am." They supported him, whatever his decision, knowing that they would always be the parents of the hetero child. When they went to social events, the other parents would ask what they did to Johnny to make him hetero. They'd get mad and inform everyone that this is the way he was wired; it wasn't a choice or the way he was raised.  So Johnny had to live with the stigma of being heterosexual, even after it became ok. Eventually he found a heterosexual girl, they got married, and had some kids. Secretly, he hoped the kids weren't hetero too. He just didn't want them to go through what he went through....

It's Not Polite to say Coccyx in Church

To my readers:
A very happy new year to you and yours.
To us and ours too. 2019 has been total crap and the faster gone, the better.

You know who you are: we miss you every day.



seen on twitter:

Just witnessed an airport proposal. She did not say yes.  [@wleaming]

Christmas came early for that guy. He really dodged a bullet there. [@JesseKellyDC]

After Mozilla got word that Avira and AVG Firefox extensions ate all your data, they pulled them. They're now back, after the extensions reduced the amount of tracking data being sent to their servers.    Seriously?

• Flying Robot Vacuum. If this ain't the Fifth Horseman....

Dear lefty

• What is your New Years resolution?
• To stop answering stupid questions.

Yeah, I discover things really late..
Go to your phone's app store and download some sort of online radio listening app. You may be surprised at what you can listen to... I did a search yesterday and came up with a lot of interesting UK radio; comedy and rock. There's sports, xmas stations, 50s music, and sports. It's also a great way to remember which musicians died recently. The foreign stations are very interesting, in that you can't understand what they're saying. This is just like the TOP HITS stations in the US! If you can't find something interesting, you're not hitting PAGE DOWN enough.

Speaking of dead musicians, "    ,    , and Palmer" won't be touring. Palmer is holed up in a steel room (he thinks) Death can't get into.

50% of the Beatles won't be touring, as will 50% of the Monkees. I wonder if the ones who died are getting together in the afterlife. John Lennon, George Harrison, Davy Jones, and Peter Tork. They can call themselves John, George, Davy, and Peter, singing songs about the live ones who left them but are eventually joining the group. The dead ones are occasionally joined by the 5th Beatle, producer George Martin, and the 6th Beatle, Billy Preston.

If Danny Gatton isn't dead, he'll be shocked that all of his guitars are for sale.

Kurt Cobain remains dead, but he has an excuse. Have you ever seen his wife?

Only 25% down is Led Zeppelin, however the one causing all the trouble is an alive one.

Badfinger has not one original member left, sorta. The guitar player joined after the first album came out, so he didn't play on it. He counts as the only one not dead (and is reported to be hiding out with Palmer).

It's a bad time for Jimi Hendrix, but he is more prolific dead than any time he was alive. His sister is making a ton of money, releasing all sorts of stuff and putting his likeness on barstools.

Nobody from Deep Purple is dead, but the members change monthly, so it's difficult to tell.

Zappa remains wherever Zappa went after he left, but his progeny, Dweezil, tours the country, playing his music. Dweezil is probably the only one who can play Frank's music.

The Allman Brothers are now Brothers of the Grave, with exactly two original member above ground. There's Jaimoe, and sometimes I wonder if he knows he's still alive. I watched him shining his cymbals once, during a song. And there's Dickie Betts, recovering from a near death involving falling off something (or someone). There were a lot of Allman Brothers, hence a lot of different deaths: cycle, tree, shotgun, and cancer. Strangely enough, not from drugs.

Chicago never recovered from the death of Terry Kath (guitar/vocals). No one else has died, except their career.

The three Kings of the blues have gone underground: B.B., Freddie, and Albert.

The entire ELO band disappeared, so it's possible they're dead. They were all replaced by Jeff Lynne, the voice of ELO.

Joe Cocker is no longer Feelin Alright.

As for the Winters, remember that Edgar is the living one and Johnny has departed. Sometimes Johnny looked dead long before he died.

Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead) has flown the coop. The only good news is that supplies of JD and meth have returned to their former numbers.

Slade is still on the road. Nobody died - the members just quit at random times.

Robert Palmer no longer sneaks Sally through the alley

Ritchie Hayward and Paul Barerre's departures have gutted Little Feat.

The Turtles (Happy Together) are alive and touring, as part of retro package tours. I don't think anyone died, or at least Volman and Kaylan haven't. Cancer tried to get Volman, but he won.

I need a hobby.

• Why do cats always land on their feet?

Conversations with the pharmacy

Hi, it's lefty. I need a refill on #125843.
Yes, we can fill that in 2 weeks.
Two weeks?
Yes, 2 weeks. The birth control, right?
I can assure you, nobody in the house, including the dog, takes birth control. Do I sound like I take birth control?
Oh. I musta got that number wrong.

You musta.

• Faceyspaces will stop mining contacts with your 2FA number.
• No they won't.

I miss the Old Days<tm>.
On New Years Eve, we'd sit around, complain that the fireworks displays were too crowded, then complain about the idiotic New Years shows, then ask "They call this shit music?" We'd play Flip the Nephew to figure out which show to watch the ball drop, talk about how much we hated last year, and go back to shooting up.

Come to think of it, just like every year!

• Just when you thought the NSA spy satellites were new: giant surveillance balloons. 2020 will bring us Giant Flying Octopusses with Telescopes. 

Today I identify as  an xmas tree, out on the curb

• If I played football, my position would obviously be offensive lineman. Or offensive quarterback. Maybe offensive coach.

No maudlin, semi-serious, sardonic, sarcastic blog would be complete without a list of notable deaths in 2019.

• Danny Aiello, 86
• Carol Channing
• Norman Orentreich, 96, "the father of modern hair transplantation"
• Peter Tork [Thorkelson], 77, complications of cancer
• Hal Blaine [Harold Belsky], 90, session drummer (The Wrecking Crew)
• Doris Day [Doris Kappelhoff], 97, pneumonia
• Dr. John [Malcolm John Rebennack], 77, no longer in the Right Place, Wrong Time
• Rip Torn [Elmore Raul Torn, Jr], 88 [not Rip Taylor]
• Peter Fonda, 79
• Valeria Harper, 80, cancer
• Rik Ocasek [Richard Otcasek], 75
• [Peter] Ginger Baker, 80, killed by life
• Rip Taylor, 88, [not Rip Torn]
• Marie Fredriksson, 61
• Dominick Arena, arrested Ted Kennedy after Chappaquiddick
• Rene Auberjonois, famous for nobody being able to spell his name, actor
• Paul Barrere - Little Feat guitar and vocals
• Tim Conway - master comic actor
• Dick Dale - king of surf guitar
• Daryl Dragon - The Captain, without Tenille
• Arte Johnson - Laugh In
• Aleksei Leonov - first person to walk in space
• Peggy Lipton - Mod Squad
• Eddie Money [Edward Mahoney], 70, esophageal cancer
• Art Neville - Neville Brothers keyboardist, vocalist
• Beverly Owen - Marilyn, The Munsters
• Leon Redbone - guitarist
• Charles Sanna - invented Swiss Miss Cocoa
• Carroll Spinney - Big Bird from Sesame Street
• Gerry Stickells - road manager for Jimi Hendrix, among others
• Nathaniel Taylor - Rollo on Sanford and Son
• Lorraine Warren - paranormal investigator, inspiration for the short ghostbuster in Poltergiest
• Bob Einstein - was Super Dave

There's a theme here. Guess what it is.....

Bored?

Check out Death List

Celebrity Death Pool

I really appreciate my existing readers plus the new ones from other countries.
If you're late to the party, this blog has no actual purpose, other than to amuse people and document the owner's slow descent into madness.

Philly is Hell with Steak Sandwiches

Philly: it's not a climate, it's a plague.

It's snowing. Of course it's snowing - snow is what it does when it isn't raining.
For days, they've been forecasting snow. Light, heavy, coming from Kentucky (drunk snow), won't be much locally. Naturally I woke up this morning and was told 2-6". Of course that much snow - it's my only day out of the house (even voluntary agoraphobes get out now and then).  All plans scuttled. The plans included the best milkshakes in the area, so you know I'm PISSED.

My phone's weather app said a dusting. Two news sources said 2-4 or 3-6. Of course we got 1/2", which wouldn't have killed our plans. Oh, the perfidy, the utter sadness and shame. 

Score one for open source weather apps.
And just for fun, there's a little sun out. This is Mother Nature, on crack, laughing at me.

• Commercial: If your gums bleed when you brush, you could have gingivitis.
• You could also have cancer. NEXT!

While tuning around, I noticed local coverage of some game or other. It had the morning news crew and one said, "blah blah football blah blah and the game will start in 40 minutes." They were sitting at a huge table, full of food. I know pre-game goes on for about 8 hours, but people are sitting there, watching the anchors eat. The show after this features evening news anchors picking their noses. Meanwhile, the game itself is a bunch of large men wiping their asses with 100 dollar bills that the fans gave them for a cheap seat.



Dear lefty:

• Marvin Michaels, from Mounting, Montana asks "What are you - some kinda liberal?"
• Did you see any doctors when you were little?

I just washed my hands in the kitchen sink. Apparently I used the wrong soap... my hands smell like.... woman. No, that's not why I washed them. Why can't we just use soap? Or some sort of liquid soap? I smell like flowers. I'm not exactly a mountain man, but I'd prefer not to smell like flowers (or eat that 'salad' that looks like someone ran a mower into a flower bed). From a practical standpoint, a huge chemistry department went through the trouble of finding a chemical that would make your hands stink after washing. This means your hands are never really clean after you wash them.

• The Who is coming.  Well, at least 50% of them.

A California judge has ruled that police can't force people to unlock a mobile phone with their face or finger.  If you could POOF yourself back 20 years, you'd hear jokes about putting out fires with your face.

I wonder if the esteemed judge had anything to say about the TSA....

Dear lefty:

• Rubin Robinson, Rebar Researcher, wants to know why the sun is yellow.
• Dear Robin: don't be lazy - do the science yourself... visit the sun.

• Whether or not you know that you can be tracked by email, you should read how to protect yourself, courtesy of the Electronic Frontier Foundation.

It's a Sign!

It was early in the morning, my body still in a state of shock from being awakened to go to work, when I saw the article: "Boston Red Sox Caught Using Technology to Steal Signs".

Like any decent geek, I asked myself what the hell the Boston Red Sox would need with signs? Would they put them in the parking lot? Make a Sign Museum? Put them on the field to confuse the opposing team?

OH - hand signs between the catcher and the pitcher. Cameras all over the place watch players, figure out the signs, then relay them to the coach via an Apple watch or Fitbit.

Kids- if you ever wonder about the effects of growing up without a father (and being smart but kinda dim), here it is.

• They broke the mold after me. By popular request.

There was an insane amount of football chatter all over the place the other day. By this I divined that there was a lot of football, and the Great Unwashed Sheep were at it again, this time distracted by a ridiculous controversy over sitting, standing, taking someone's knee, or masturbating while the national anthem is playing.

We have real problems in the country and the world, yet we fall for this Divide and Conquer nonsense every time. Bread and circuses.

• Where will you spend eternity? Here's one idea. Mine would be a huge guitar or booby. 

It pains me to say this, but if you have an iDevice, hold off on iOS11. No. wait, it doesn't pain me.. what's that other thing? It amuses the hell out of me. There is an issue if you use the operating system with Outlook 365 that won't allow you to get your mail. Just for fun, the other issue is that the battery drains at twice the normal rate. Aside from that, it's perfectly ok.

• This is a winner: Muslim nurses in the UK refuse to wash hands before medical operations, say it 'compromises religious beliefs'. I wonder if they would prohibit the surgeon operating on them from washing his hands. Oops, sorry, my religious beliefs demand infections. As if that weren't good enough, administrators have granted them an exception. Don't offend them by asking them to wash their hands!

So you're on one of twenty ships in the Black Sea, and your ship seems to be in the sea, then at an airport, then back in the sea, you've probably been the victim of GPS spoofing. Or the Philadelphia Experiment is happening, in which case it's advisable to stay away from walls and hover over the deck. Assuming spoofing, there was a demonstration a number of years ago, in which a briefcase with about $1,000 of equipment performed this experiment, this time it's Real Life<tm>.

In 2015, the US Naval Academy, aware of this spoofing, opted to reinstate instruction in celestial navigation. You know - navigating by the stars, like sailors have been doing since the beginning of time. Of course it's only a matter of time til the Russians hack the stars...

• HEALTH WARNING: Swedish Fish have been known to pull crowns out. That is all.

A thirteen year old Brooklyn boy suffered ruptured testicles after exiting a train via the window and surfing on top of it.  No one could have seen this coming. It's only a matter of days until his parents sue, blaming the train for not having signs that say WARNING: DO NOT EXIT VIA WINDOW AND JUMP ON ROOF. But ruptured testicles.....

• A man accused of robbing a Fresno, CA Starbucks is suing the man who stopped the robbery for 'excessive force.' The thief's mommy said that the man who wrested the knife away didn't have to stab her son so many times to subdue him.  Furthermore, the man is suing the police for calling him a bad name and hurting his feelings. Since this is California, he probably has a chance at a win.

I'm looking for it.

If I find it, I'll let you know.

I've heard the process is more important than finding it.

I have no idea.

Perfume. There?

It was a good morning. Both of us (and the pets) were almost awake, getting ready to go to work and other places. Lunch was packed and I was suddenly face-to-face with my wife and her beautiful new purple shirt. What made it more beautiful than other shirts, purple aside, was that it showed more chest than normal (no naughty bits, in spite of this blog's theme). So I gave her a nice, romantic kiss in that general area. We were impressed but the pets went about their business, non-plussed; one appearing starved and the other waiting for the starving one's food.

Fortunately it was time to go to work. When I say fortunately, I am fortunate to have a job. I am, however, still allowed to bitch about being up in the morning. When in the car, the wife ordered me to scrape the windshield. Of course I had to scrape the windshield.. I was already in the car.  This is a metaphor for our relationship.  It's also a direct statement about the weather here.  As we know, Pennsylvania's state bird is the cloud, and this lovely display of weather did nothing to dispel that fact: it was miserable, gray, and had frozen drops all over the car.  We know the sun exists, it's just that we wonder why it doesn't come round to visit now and again.  Anyone following the news will know that the Northeast has been threatened with snow for the past month. Lucky for us the weather forecasters are always wrong and we've barely gotten any snow.  Instead we've gotten frigid temperatures and bits of precipitation, almost constantly.  Last weekend we hit forty degrees and the bikinis were out all around.  Brian Williams saw his shadow and won't be on tv for six weeks.

So as I was finishing up the windshield, I detected a really horrible taste developing in my mouth.  It got worse and worse until I finally realized where it came from: my wife's chest.  Apparently women put perfume there. And I inadvertently ate some of it.  Off we went to Dunkin Donuts, for some coffee to get the taste out of my mouth. Other candidates were soda, windshield cleaner and lye.

I know I'm late to the party but I was/am so sick of the Stupidbowl that I almost can't describe it. But I shall anyway. In an unearthly first, I was invited to attend a party. In an even stranger first, I accepted, largely as this was my best friend and there were likely to be football-free zones.

There were, indeed, football-free zones, sorta, but there were still too many televisions (defined as more than zero or one).  I'm kinda like Charlie Brown and Lucy (or Homer Simpson) with televisions: I look at the motion, realize it's sports, look away, then see the motion again and look....

I don't care who Brady Bellechek is and don't want to hear his name anymore as long as I live.  It's not enough that there is a game.. I have to hear about it until I'm blue in the ears. I hear about it on the news station. I hear about it on the rock station.  I even hear about it on the public radio station, which I had hoped would be free of sports, at least after the first day.  The only thing worse than this is the item, and I use the term loosely, about deflated balls. I have no real idea what's going on here but I have been bombarded by it every moment of every day, no matter whether it's television, radio or the web.  The first time I heard anything of this, it came up on my alarm in the morning. I can be excused from incredulity (and sense) when something starts talking at me before seven in the morning.  As I grew further awake, I heard something about deflated balls and just assumed this was some kind of comedy routine. It became a really popular comedy routine when I noticed that the evening news and even Sunday's edition of Shoot the Press mentioned it.  If they have so much damn trouble with their balls, why don't they ask the cheerleaders to blow them back up and get on with the event? The politicians must be up to something when this is the lead story for days. You'd think that there was a Kardashian involved, for all the press coverage.

Yesterday in England was the first Visit the Mosque day.  This was a hastily conceived bit of press, thrown together after the Charlie Hello attacks, designed to invite outsiders into mosques to prove that Muslims are not all terrorists.  One Muslim lady complained about having to apologize all the time for the actions of the terrorists.  I suspect she should be having that conference with the terrorists, not the press.  The theme of the day was We'll Blow Up that Bridge When We Come to it. Seminars were offered too: Be Nice to Christians Day, Not Murdering Your Neighbors, and Improvised Explosive Devices.  All of the usual British suspects, with all of their comical British accents, ventured out from their quaint little towns to inspect the mosques. They were declared fit and now life can continue in England (at least until something blows up there).

NOTE: be careful reading this blog, as it may be booby-trapped. And boobie-trapped. Furthermore, it may explode.

Happy Belated Birthday

to Graham Chapman, of Monty Python fame, who would have been seventy-two yesterday.


Urinus Interruptus

So I'm minding my own business, in the bathroom, when the door opens.  Of course the door opens - it's the cat, mortified by my human desire to eliminate alone and with the door closed.  I suspect this need of ours for solitude somehow offends felines, who are smart enough to figure out bi-fold doors.  We thought we had outsmarted him (and the dog) by installing the door backwards but this took only a day to figure out.  For both of them.


The Car is Back!

After only three weeks and a day, our beloved car is back from the collision shop, fully repaired.  For those of you keeping score, it's deer zero, us one, insurance four thousand, rental car seven hundred.  It's most fortunate that I'm independently wealthy.

The wife is beyond joyous; she loves her car.  I'm happy to not be paying for a rental, even if the seats were nicer.

Let me say something nice here about State Farm: they've been great and fast.  No crap, no fuss, it's done.  All insurance should work this way (take notice, health insurance).


A Word from the AntiSports

I don't usually bother but I came across this little factlet on the radio the other day: hockey is about to start again, after the lockout.  Philly is the city with the least amount of ticket refund requests, at two-hundred.

Seriously, Philly, you are a huge, dirty city of enablers.  You put up with crappy team performance and greedy millionaires.  What do you do?  You line up to pay them some more.  You deserve what you get.  You pay an egregious amount to simply park at football games, not to mention the now standard TSA-style groping.



In closing, I urge caution on the forced national panic about guns.  There is obviously an agenda here.

lefty Weighs in on Joe Paterno

I know you're probably saying to yourself:

Hey, why in the world would leftystrat have a single thing to say about anything having to do with sports?

And a very good question, that.

I spent a very minimal amount of time getting some background on this from my esteemed coworkers; the first place I go when I need answers about sports stuff.

As best I understand it, Joe Paterno allowed this to happen on his watch by not doing to the coach what the coach was doing to the little boys.

And Joe Paterno leaps to inaction and resigns immediately (at the end of this season).

Do I have it right?

Do I really need to comment?

In the end, this adds to my assertion that Penn State and the Eagles be sent to Albania on a permanent basis.

--------------------------------

Paterno stated that he wished to leave with dignity.   My wife, a victim of childhood sexual abuse, asked what about the dignity of the poor children - they got none.

UPDATE:


Penn State has terminated Joe Paterno, as well as the president of the university.  Well done, folks.

The Best Football Season EVER

President (and Mrs.) Giveaway are in England today, one day after celebrating his roots in Ireland (O'bama?).

When signing the guest book at Westminster Abbey, Obama got the year wrong.  This is apparently all the press has to report.

I have to call it as I see it and the way I see it, we should not heap hate upon the president for this slip up.  If you're going to pick on him, do so because he's a lying sack of excrement, not because he confused his years.

----------

Robert Zimmerman, aka Dylan, is seventy today.

----------

The White House has added a position to deal with unfavorable online press.  In other words, the taxpayers are paying the bill for his next campaign.

We also know who will be calling me shortly.

----------

Nicholas Sarkozy, famous largely due to being in charge in France, has convened the G8 Summit in France.  He thinks it's great that the online world has all of its benefits but he'd prefer that the countries get their say.

In other words, he wants the rest of the globalist bastards to clamp down on the internet.

----------

A football player called Ray Lewis has inserted his foot into his oral cavity via the statement that crime will rise if football season doesn't go on.

I don't know about you but I think this is going the be the best football season ever.