Please Don't Make Me Go CostCo - Can't I Just Saw off a Limb?

This is my semi-monthly CostCo rant. I try desperately to stay home, but sometimes the job is too big for the traditional shopper in the family (no, not the dog, although we'd like her help bringing in the bags). When CostCo first appeared, it was like magic. I could get industrial quantities of candy and tires for my car. We had never seen anything like it on our side of the country/state/wherever. Obviously the only thing we were missing was Choice. You better like Bob's Brand or 1 gallon ketchup containers, because that's all they carry.

Unlike most times, I was ambivalent about going. I was semi-excited because they were the only place that carried my sweet potato chips. I was missing them terribly, since I took out the previous 2 bags in a 2 days. Our regular store has an entire aisle of chips: bbq, sour cream, mud, but not a single bag of sweet potato chips. The aisle runs the length of the store. Not a single bag. I think the company that makes them is Tero. I don't know if they're less likely to kill me than regular chips but I don't care - I love them. So off we went, into the polluted, cloudy gray yonder.

The most serious problem with CostCo is the people who shop there. 

I don't care where you come from; humanity and good common behavior are important. Unfortunately, CostCo has the worst negative stereotypes, occupying a square mile, ever seen. Usually it starts in the parking lot, with cars whizzing by as you try to park, some more concerned with taking your spot than looking around to see if anybody is already trying to park there. Sometimes on the way to a spot, it is necessary to play Dodge the Pedestrians. Unfortunately, these people prefer Take Down the Pedestrians. There are signs and road markings all over the place, but they plow on, undeterred. Sometimes you have to park far away and take the non-existent shuttle to get to the store, even if you have a handicapped tag. Then you have to fight the pedestrians. and the carts they left in their parking spots, because they're too good to walk their carts back. Or in their former country, cart-returning was punishable by death (but women weren't allowed to do it - only men). 

Hopefully you'd eventually make it to the store itself. The area formerly filled with carts has be refashioned into Plants. Heaven help the allergic. Because there were plants, Wife had to stop and look at them. It's almost automatic. After attempting to park and navigate the long trek to the actual store. I was already out of patience (some would say that happened before I got into the car at home). The flowers didn't help. We have a long and proud history of purchasing flowers, dirt, chemicals, and cement to do our (her) planting, that never gets done. So rather than picturing how the plants will look in the ground, we have to picture what the plants will look like on top of the ground, sitting in their original containers. In yet another Charlie Brown Moment (kick the ball, Charlie Brown), each year I am told we need a 50lb bag of dirt (you buy dirt?), and I sit it at its spot on the front lawn. And every year it sits there, soaking up the clouds, until the next year, when I am ordered to pick up another 50lb bag of dirt, because it is urgently needed (to fill in the spot left by the previous bag of dirt). I fell for this three times before giving up (you want it, you carry it).  The last bag is still in its spot, decomposing. At least the plastic will never go away.

Like any average 5 year old, I kept asking where the sweet potato chips were. Wife knows where everything is, but is hampered by the fact that the employees like to play Hide the Merchandise, so it's never in the same place twice. Coke has been in 7 different aisles over the last year. Speaking of which, Coke is now more expensive than the other coke. I guess the other coke never had Supply Chain Issues. In fact, I got sticker shock, since I try not to shop much. I kept saying, "They want HOW much?" and Wife kept laughing. She laughs at me a lot; I suspect it has little to do with keeping track of prices. And the sweet potato chips are on the other side of the store, a mile away (of course they are). The paper plates are more expensive than china, napkins more expensive than body-size towels, and the laundry detergent is more expensive than my car. The other question that kept occurring to me is why we had 2 carts. I dared not ask. It was either because we haven't shopped in 6 months or she just likes to feel important. As we walked in, she pointed out the incredibly short lines at the registers. At least that part brought joy (it's the little things). Ok, the lines, and my sweet potato chips. I was a bit focused.

Meanwhile, the rude bad stereotype foreigners were diving in front of me like I was invisible, cutting in front of my cart, and leaving their carts in the aisle in a way as to block the entire aisle. You have to admire their skill - the aisles are wide enough to drive a truck down. Sometimes 2. Regardless of what language you speak (English included), I am not interested in hearing you speak it, at top volume, at your phone. The microphones in phones are quite sensitive - you don't have to shout (you idiot). Many government studies, paid for with ridiculous amount of tax dollars, prove that you can actually shop faster if you're not hollering at your phone (or following that hot lady up and down the aisles). Many other government studies are about cow farts. Hopefully this study has no bearing on your shopping at all. I did smell large amounts of body odor, but other studies place this as less vomit-inducing than cow farts, although both are likely to crap up the aisles of the store.

I hate to say this, but their decent bakery produces... boring.. chocolate chip cookies, even if you can buy them next to the tire jacks and contraceptives. Their cakes are excellent, even if some of them don't have any chocolate. You can buy 100lb bags of dog food, but they don't go well with a 25lb dog. Strangely, the biggest choice of items in the entire store is dog toys. You can purchase 1 kind of emergency electrical generator, but there are 27 sets of dog toys. Normally this would be great, but my dog disembowels toys, one eyeball at a time. They removed the phone kiosks, but the tv's were the size of a city block. The didn't have the glasses frames I wanted, but there were a lot of $3,576 fridges and really bad battery-powered 'bathtub cleaners.' Wife said we'd take a short look at the clothes. Even after all this time married, I forget what a 'short look' is. After reading War and Peace on my phone, I only had to wait 17 minutes more for her to finish looking. One of the many strange aspects of her shopping is the seemingly mad desire to pick up items for family and friends. Let's put aside my seemingly mad desire not to clothe her family and friends, and wonder if this is the only CostCo in a 500 mile range. Certainly they all have CostCo near them, and can afford to buy their own clothes. Except the parents, whose area just got electricity, even though cell phones still don't work there. I think the satellites refuse to cover the area, and who could blame them. The parents literally have to walk up the block for their phones to get any signal. But sometimes they have snow removal, so it all evens out (even if the electricity goes out if there's rain in the forecast). So now and then we bring something from Civilization for them. Last time it was cardboard boxes, which are pure Unobtainium out there. I wouldn't begrudge the parents anything - they had to raise us horrid bastards so we owe them big time.

I was getting more excited as we neared the sweet potato chips. Mind you, they were not with the other potato chips, because Management thought that made too much sense. We did find the same brand, which included the chips, but also included tomato chips and parsnip chips. The UN recognizes parsnips as torture and sanctions any country trying to fob them off on its citizens. Not to mention cauliflower crust pizza. Sheer insanity. They have great generic pizza, but found out I like it and immediately replaced it with foo-foo generic pizza and 17 cheese pizza, with optional sauce.

Finally we reached the deodorant and sweet potato chip aisle, which I perused while leaping up and down. True to form, there were NO sweet potato chips. The entire reason for my presence was simply negated. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THIS. GET ME A *$#^ING MANAGER IMMEDIATELY. WHY ARE THERE PARSNIP CHIPS BUT NO SWEET POTATO CHIPS? GODDAMMIT, I AM GOING TO ACT JUST AS RUDE AS EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS STORE AND DEMAND WHAT I WANT, GOING OFF LIKE THE 4TH OF JULY IF IT'S NO LONGER STOCKED. YOU got me addicted, now you're required to keep me supplied. I'm calling the chip company and telling them that they'll need to ship cases of the chips directly to my house, since there are no stores stocking them. It's their fault, not mine. Although there are hundreds of items in our carts, I only requested ONE. I was in the middle of a very painful detox, which might've made things worse. Mrs. lefty kept walking away, so no one would think she was with me. Even the cashiers said they loved them, but parsnips had to GO.

Dejected and still screaming, we made it to checkout. The lines that were blissfully short now wound around the square mile of the store. The screaming, which had faded to minor outbursts, reignited. The only short line was for self-checkout. They don't work with a single item, no less hundreds. The staff were nice and very fast, so we got out quickly (after we waited a week to get there). 

Then I saw the total.

Reading this blog, you know I'm never speechless, but there I was, just sputtering and blubbering. The total made our car and house payments look benign. I looked at Wife, with hives and various sexually transmitted diseases popping up all over my skin. Wife was quite calm, as if this was always the total when she shopped. *I* was the unreasonable one (go ahead, get married... all this could be yours). 

Still no sweet potato chips.

Professionally Late to the Party -or- Forced Vacation Days #Last

 Remember VCRs? Anything with a digital clock will do. After anything happened with the power, the clock would blink. Sometimes it would blink out of the box because you couldn't set the time. I mention this because my first sight the other morning was the oven's clock not blinking. Good, you say... it was set. Was being the operative word. In fact, it was off. In fact, the entire oven was unplugged. I don't see this often. I would have figured I was the singular human in the house who would unplug the oven. It's not that anyone's afraid of electricity, but they won't walk near an outlet in a thunderstorm. 

Also present was a piece of paper. And when I say a piece of paper, I mean half a piece of paper, with the other half ashes. Although it matched the oven, it wasn't a good sight. Not a surprising sight either - we can turn hard plastic to liquid and burn inflammable objects. But the pulled power cord frightened me. I did the only thing available to me, which works most of the time; I ignored it. I figured if anyone wanted me to know anything about the oven, they would tell me. The funniest and most ironic part was that I told myself it wasn't so horrible... we still had a microwave. And as I started to think on what I wanted for dinner, everything involved either the oven or the stove.  

Don't think about using the oven.

Ok. PIZZA!

But it all worked out fine. The next morning, it was plugged in and the clock was blinking again. Nobody actually told me about this- they just plugged it in.  We still got our holiday card from the fire station, so I guess all is well. And the reason nobody told me, is that we're using the one method guaranteed to prolong any marriage: one of us sleeps while the other is awake. There is no fighting, no noticing bad habits, and no complaining about snoring.Try it.

Conversations with my Dog 

So we're sitting in our normal positions: me in the chair with my laptop, Penny seatbelting me in, between me and the laptop. Her snoring is weird... it's more like a whine. Eventually she needed to reposition herself and I thought it was a good time to chat.

Me: How are you today - get enough rest?

Dog:  I could always use more.

Me: Say, about your toys....

Dog: Ooh, ooh, are you getting me more?

Me: No,  sorry. You already have more toys than some rich kids. You see, they're always in the way and tend to encroach on areas we sit. It makes it difficult to stand. Why can't you pick them up?

Dog: Because I have you for that.  [snore]

So how's that vacation coming, you're dying to ask....

Well, I'm both glad and sad you asked.

Mrs. lefty's having a bad time of it and she's not around a lot. And when she's not around, neither is Penny. I try not to take it personally that my dog would rather stay with my sleeping wife all day than hang out with me.

So that largely leaves me to my own devices, which is never a good idea, especially if I have certain devices. The entire idea of forced vacation is that I have something to do, some structure. Otherwise I get up to stuff or become a zen-like one with the sofa, mostly the latter. This came to the attention of my friends (both of them), who urged me to 'get out.' Or 'do something.' These well-meaning suggestions are both vague and annoying. If I wanted to go out or do something, I'd already be there doing it. Or something. 

Today I did battle with the washer. I don't hate it as much as mowing, but I definitely don't like it. The other day I vacuumed. I cooked. These are all things one can do with one's time, but they're not exactly vacation-type activities. I can't go on rollercoasters without Wife, and because I'm terrified of them. I was advised to give up knife-throwing after The Incident. The Feds revoked my Blasting for Fun and Profit license, and it's not much fun as a hobby. I have SWAT trained that just because something explodes, they should wait for the 911 call before automatically driving to my house. I promised the judge not to do Funny Tricks with Gasoline for another few months. The doctors said to try something out of my comfort zone. Screw them - comfort zone didn't exist as a concept until recently, and now everybody uses it (like 'game changer'). They said things like going a few counties south and looking at the flowers at the orchard.

WHAT?

I'm sorry, I thought I heard you say to drive an hour and look at flowers.

You DID? I can look out my window and see the neighbors' flowers or go to a flower shop. The thrust of my argument is that I don't like flowers. Or plants. Or most things put into the ground, like dead bodies. If you think about it, flowers and dead bodies go together. What kind of an idiotic suggestion is this? It's not only out of my comfort zone, it's out of my Reality Zone. 

You like to play guitar. Why don't you teach?

Excuse me.... exactly what course of logic gets you from liking to play all the way to teaching would be fun? Trust me... one does not equal the other. I don't like people, remember? Introvert here. Misanthrope Central. I tried this in high school. There was a guitar class, with these hideous guitar-like things, which a piano teacher would teach. I tried to help. It was like trying to use someone else's fingers to tie knots. I am not blessed with the patience to tie a knot with my own fingers, no less somebody else's. So she left me alone and I took 3 years of guitar class. I sat outside the room. They named the hallway after me. So if you ever go to school and see the ThermionicEmissions Honorary Hallway, that's mine. 

I think my last few days will be different. How so, I haven't figured out yet. Since I've largely been indoors, I've been building up a bit of steam. Now would be a good time to attack state congresscritters and find out how the state can go double jeopardy on me and charge me twice for car paperwork. Or how a state sales tax on everything ordered online came into being recently. I'm feelin' a little prickly.

The Great Laptop Debacle of 2022

I suspect (hope) we're in the final run for this, although it will technically bleed into 2023. Bleed is an accurate word. 

The manufacturer got right to work on diagnosing the problem. The long an short of it was that the display and every single piece of plastic on the outside would have to be replaced. Since it was out of warranty, I'd have to pay for it all (of course I would - these things don't happen under warranty). And not to worry, it would only cost half the purchase price of the laptop.

WHAT? 

We could always ship it back to you in a lump if you'd like.

THIS is how I'm going to spend the rest of my vacation, in Prickly Mode. When one considers the life of this particular laptop, one thinks of overprivileged children. Its entire universe consists of a 20' path between the office and the sofa. It has never even left the house. As for the hinges, the lid only moves an inch or two in either direction; I don't even shut the lid.  Replacement of the external plastic parts seems to indicate that someone was playing basketball with the thing. I don't even like basketball, and laptops don't bounce (don't ask). When I emailed the manufacturer, I told them this. Their response was something to the effect of "Thank you for your feedback. We will pass it along." This translates to FSCK YOU in English.

I know that people hang on my every word and make expensive purchases based upon my reviews, so here goes: Do not purchase a System76 laptop. I know, I know... you were dying to buy a laptop that has linux installed on it from the factory, but I'd suggest trying a different brand or getting a Thinkpad, which is very linux-friendly. 

So How's Vacation Weather Been? 

It hasn't.

More accurately, the clouds have gotten smarter. They laid back when I got out of bed, to make me think it was going to be a sunny day. The moment I happily turned my back, the clouds rushed in to successfully cover the sun yet another day. 

Oh, wow.. I nearly had a thought..... the government is seeding the clouds, which is what creates the chemtrails. Why? They want a thick cloud cover, so global won't warm. Brilliant idea, guys. You should probably stick to dosing unsuspecting people then pushing them out of buildings (suicide!).

The last three days of forced vacation were the worst, making for great blog entries.

The 3rd day I sadly realized we'd have to go to CostCo, or it would be 20 times more crowded the next day. I don't like CostCo, in roughly the same way I don't like mowing (or cutting off personal limbs). CostCo is a great concept, which would work perfectly in practice, so long as people who were raised by wolves weren't allowed to shop there. The first obstacle is the parking lot. You won't find a convenient parking spot, but worse is the people trying to park. When I see them mowing down pedestrians, I get the sense it isn't an accident. While there are handicapped spots, they're all taken, except the ones a mile away. If you're lucky enough to find a spot, you must wear bright yellow, reflective clothing. This way the erratic drivers will know where to aim their cars. Oh, wait, so you can have your legal right of way.

Once you get inside, the real fun starts. The main job of a CostCo employee is moving stuff around, so none of the customers will ever know where to find things. In the last month, the Coke has been in 3 different places. You have to walk the entire mile of the store to find it. Fortunately CostCo started putting defibrillators in each aisle, so someone can use them when customers get a look at how much Coke costs. I've paid less to fill my car's tank. If that doesn't get to you, the other customers will. Wife paid careful attention and said it was largely Russian in origin. She was correct. People would leave the carts in the middle of the aisle and take up as much space as they could, looking at products. If you, heaven forbid, had to get past them, you were not even a bump on their consciousness. It's not like they would move or say excuse me.... you simply were beneath their notice. I took to saying "Excuse you." Invariably they'd speak to their Significant Other, in Russian. Don't bitch at me - I only report what I see.

When it's time to check out, you observe the new, wonderful section of remarkably fantastic self-service checkout lanes. So where there used to be 10 cashiers working, there are 6 self-service lanes and 2 cashiers. And a half-mile line to wait for the cashiers, because most of us aren't stupid patient enough to use self-serve. It only takes the first swipe to throw these infernal devices off, requiring more untrained, helpless employee help. Help that could be manning cash registers.

Once past the checkout is their little cafe-thing. You won't believe this, but they have excellent strawberry slushies/smoothies. Wife went to procure a pair and was immediately turned down because she didn't have her membership documents, which were with me in the checkout lane. Let's play along with CostCo a minute: they must get proper documentation to prove that someone snuck past the person who checks your card as you walk in, so that you don't walk up and pay listed price for a slushie? These must be the same people who move the Coke weekly. By the time I got home, Wife had to tranquilize me to make sure I didn't take my revenge on any random person I came across. 

The 2nd day we decided to visit a traditional restaurant (ok,Waffle House) and a sociology experiment called a mart, which was the last place in the state you could smoke indoors. A place where even scruffy old lefty looked like a straight up button down suit, in comparison with everyone else. As it was New Year's Eve, we checked the website to be certain it would be open regular hours, which was verified. As we hit the 4th store, we heard the manager saying he was closing in 5 minutes. WHAT? The whole mart? Yes.  But...but..but... the website... we drove 90 minutes to walk past 4 stores? The webmaster should be ritually disembowled, beheaded, dragged behind a truck, beaten by real mobsters, and shot. 90 minutes later, we were home. Wife had to roofie me so I didn't hurt anybody, including myself.  Her mistake was that she didn't roofie me before we went to the mart, so I wouldn't remember any of it.

On the last day, we visited one of those mills 'discount' malls. Once again, we verified hours of operation. Because last year we also verified hours of operation, drove there, and shopped for 20 minutes before the entire place closed down early. I emailed Mall Manglement, detailing our experience. They said they were sorry. All was well in the kingdom. Somebody's kingdom - certainly not mine.

The final store was some kind of incestuous combination of a Marshalls and a Home Office Depot Goods. The left half of the store was Marhsalls; the right half Home Depot Goods and Stuff. I was mentally out of this store long before we hit the checkout lane, as well as tired and sore. The line turned out to have 25 people in it already. I was not happy. When I say I was not happy, I mean the high-volume sarcasm started, which seemed to either amuse or freak out the 25 people in front of us. Being a systems guy, I immediately searched for the weak link that caused this backup. I checked out the cashiers, but I could only see #12. The trick here was that numbers 1 to 11 didn't exist; they had exactly one cashier. Having only one cashier perfectly explained the 25 people in front of us. You know what happened next, right? The lone cashier had to call for a price check, causing the already near motionless procession to stop completely. We waited and watched. Watched and waited. Sometime within the next 30 minutes, a lady showed up, uttered a few syllables to the cashier, pushed exactly 2 buttons on the register, and walked off. When it was our turn (the next day), I asked the cashier if the lady who pushed the 2 buttons was a manager. She wanted to know how I knew. Because she showed up, performed very little useful work, saw a line of 25 people, and walked away without helping. That screams manager. We complimented the poor cashier on her excellent performance and really positive attitude. Then I asked if all the other cashiers got lost on the way to work. No, they all called out sick for New Year's Day. There were literally two cashiers for the entire store(s). Very large stores - much square footage. I didn't get to speak to the incredibly busy mangler lady, but it is a fact that if you pay a decent wage and hire adults instead of children, they show up for work and do their jobs without requiring adult supervision. I'm not talking about age - just mindset. When we got home, Wife got me really drunk, so I didn't go back to the store and teach the mangler how to properly mangle. Wife is kept really busy being married to me. It's a tough job, but some poor person has to do it. It's probably less strenuous than visiting me in prison.

I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to going back to work. I just can't take all this vacationing. See you late this year, after I forget to use up my vacation days again.

Don't You Dare Call Me a HO HO HO

 Your love is like  nose cancer

After her visit to the groomer, there appeared some hair hanging off her stub of a tail. As her tail never stops wagging, she looks like a helicopter. The groomer said she's the happiest dog ever; her tail didn't stop during grooming. Sometimes I wonder if we got the right dog. 

Today I identify as   a transgendered infant

There's a fair amount of fighting in social media (yawn-just another day) about the loon who mowed down the Christmas parade in Waukesha. Some people say the man was a BLM supporter who did it on purpose (his social media history has a lot to say about killing white people). Perhaps this is why the police wouldn't rule out terrorism (domestic).

At this point, I'm going with the official narrative: he was running from a knife fight and had pages of prior criminal history. After I watched some of the video, I said it looked like he could have done a much better job (stay with me). Check out the video of him hitting an early part of the parade - the girls with the flags. He seemed to miss them on purpose, looking like he was blasting by on the side. And they were black.

If more comes to light, I'll be happy to change my mind. Just the facts, ma'am.

Further, I predict there will be a look at the alleged justice system that let him bond out twice. Also, his current and ultimate incarceration will not be pleasant for him.  "We don't know. He tripped, Your Honor."

There are numerous Gofundme's set up for the victims. Gofundme just pulled one somebody set up for the perpetrator.

• President Taxit will require vaccines for all border crossers as of January.
• Even the illegals. They won't need documentation, but they will need proof of vaccination.

So we identified an asteroid that somebody identified as dangerous.

Because we're Badass, NASA launched a mission to bomb it.

WTF is going on with us? We bombed the Moon. We bombed the asteroid. We bombed Japan. IF there are any aliens watching, they have a vested interest in not letting us off the planet.

--We are a primitive society whose major activity is clearly tribal warfare.  - the father of UFO research - Stanton Friedman (RIP)

• It's not enough that our legislators are a rogue's gallery of incompetent idiots - now we have Dr. Oz running for PA Senate. This cannot stand as goofy enough. We need even sillier candidates! Keep Pennsylvania the laughingstock of the states....
• how about Dr. Phil? Britney Spears (she has paperwork!). Joan Rivers (even dead, she'd have to be better). All of the sudden Richard Nixon doesn't seem that bad, does he? Better yet, one of those lizards with toxic mouth bacteria that will kill you if it bites!
• don't laugh, Texas - Matthew McConaghay(?) looks good for governor. On the last Sunday of the month, everybody will get stoned, get naked, and play the bongos at the governor's mansion.

Flying AIDS News  

Child COVID cases are on the rise, jumping 32% in latest surge

Austrian Chancellor: 'You don’t only have rights, you have obligations'

Democracy slipping away at record rate, intergovernmental body warns

must be coincidence it got worse during the Flying AIDS

Fury as controlling bureaucrats demand millions of Australians wear masks through the Christmas season even though 95% will be fully vaxxed

Denver renews mask mandate as COVID-19 cases surge in Colorado

Germany mulls full lockdown, vaccine mandate

(and not just... you know.. the Jews.. They want to be very specific about that. There is absolutely none of that going on anymore. Even with the neo-nazis. NOTHING like that is happening, they assure us. Nothing could happen anyway, because 'someone' didn't pay his gas bills last time. NOTHING. NEIN. NO WAY, BABY)

Italy to restrict access of unvaccinated to indoor venues - sources

Switzerland On Edge Ahead Of Covid Pass Vote

Covid-19 Antibody Tests in Demand as People Worry About Immunity
Doctors say what constitutes a sufficient level of protection against the virus isn’t known

COVID-19 vaccine can be bundled with routine childhood vaccinations, AAP says

Covid-19 Vaccines or Infections: Which Carries the Stronger Immunity?

More noise about programs on phones:

Only install the programs that don't look like they were hastily translated from a foreign language. From known authors, with many users and ratings from more than one person.

Speaking of which....
Amazon wages secret war on Americans' privacy, documents show

• Coffee May Help Prevent Onset of Alzheimer’s Disease
• at the rate we're drinking, it will never onset

Some call me a-religious. Some say I have no faith. Some call me Jennifer. Ladies and Gents, I'm about to come in from the cold. I have seen verifiable proof that God exists. Valerie Bertinelli is splitting up with her second husband. Now God, I don't want to sound selfish, but if you could do something about Mrs. lefty's strict No Dating Policy, I will shout your name from the rooftops. 

It's either that or the universe is just fscking with me again.

So after insurance paid $10 grand to fix the body of the car, someone tapped it today. Fortunately it was just the mirror, and it moved as it was supposed to. I am going to install video cameras, firearms, and lasers. The next person who so much as looks at my car will be in more hurt than a Waukesha Christmas parade.

We just coined the phrase 'busier than a Costco parking lot.' Drivers are dangerous there, but today was an entirely new phenomenon: there were 53 cars waiting to get in the lot and park. As bad as that was, we still had to go inside Costco, which is a task for people way more brave (or stupid) than me.  It's not that the place angers or bores me (or makes me want to take a job with the postal service), but all I want is one of their berry slushies, from the area after you pay. Wife knows I am not suited to be inside the store. One time I saw the long line to check out, and started screaming that this was not acceptable. People stared. They opened a line or two. So being angry and loud helps (most people don't agree, especially after I've done it) (fsck them).

• Soccer legend Maradona Was Buried Without His Heart So Soccer Fans Wouldn’t Steal It
• I wonder if Jimi Hendrix was buried without his penis...

We decided Turkey Day was going to be different this year.

We received one really half-hearted invitation to dinner. Err... no thanks. We're going to keep it personal and local this year, hopefully avoiding the fire company, like last year.

Mrs. lefty is a great cook, but hasn't done the turkey thing in years. So she tends to forget things... like the turkey.

Once that got straightened out, the house filled with the delicious aroma of a turkey. In the oven this time.

I didn't know, though... I was sleeping. It was before 2pm, after all.

Stumbling downstairs, it was all I could do to produce coffee. It's a good thing eight ounces is the default on the Keurig, or I would need an ambulance. I need coffee, not so much to get going as to start breathing.

To be fair, I asked Mrs. lefty if she needed any help, praying internally that the answer was no, so I could begin the process of breathing and getting blood to my fingers.

Me: Do you need anything?

Her: No, thank you. In an hour, I will need you to pull it out. The turkey, I mean.

Me: Good, dammit.

I sat down to check email (I can do this without blood flow or being conscious). Ahhhhhh.....

Her: can you get me the vegetables?

Me: grumble... (gets up) here.

I sat down to check email.

Her: can you drain the sausage? I can't find the strainer - you can use a teaspoon.

I sat down to check email.

The dog realized there was 1/2" between the laptop and me, and jumped on my lap. To check some emails.

I checked my email.

There was a dog in the way. When she got done checking MY email, she stood up and observed the Cooking Activities. 

Her: can you move the chainsaw? So we can eat at the table?

I sat down to check email.

Her: Can you pull the turkey out so I can take the temperature?

Me: Why - is it sick?

Her: very funny. Now get your ass in here.

Me: Good thing you didn't need any help. I'd hate to see it when you need help.

I sat down to check email.

Her: Could you park the pickup in the driveway?

Me: Why?

Her: I told you, so we can eat at the table

Me: Why does my head hurt?

Her: [BANG BANG BANG] mumble mumble

Me: What?

Her: [BANG BANG BANG] mumble mumble

Me: I thought that's what you said

I laid down to take a nap.

Afterwards, I told no one I sat down to check email.

• The White House staff were caught with their pants down, when the president boarded Air Force One, because he thought he had to go to Turkey for Thanksgiving.

Philadelphia is red-faced (again) over hitting the magic 500 deaths for the year.

Some will say it was the way people were raised. Some will blame guns. Others will say drugs.

After a year of Detectiving, it will come out that the rage, violence, and murder was caused by the excessive commercials for Medicare supplements. There are no longer any other commercials - only Medicare. Every commercial break. We have gotten to know and despise Joe Namath, Jimmy JJ Walker, William Shatner, and George Foreman. All we're missing is Shaq. After a few hours of this, it's a wonder there are only 500 killings this year. So far.

Missing a Mercedes in May, Maybe March

 Your love is like  a Brazilian wax

You will be thrilled to know we're out of Rental Car Limbo.

Ok, maybe not you, but we are.

When I say we're out of Rental Car Limbo, I mean we returned the car and bent over for the fees. Not only did somebody hit the car, the rental person managed to find 3 more things for our insurance to cover.

While speaking to our insurer, I discovered Renterprise charging us a $500 deductible was incorrect, and they should have known better. So in however many months it takes for the insurer to extend our rental days, that will be refunded too.

As for the Mercedes, Mrs. lefty's comment was that she'd take a different car.

As for Collision Limbo, the collision place called to let us know where they were in the process and confirm it would be ready when they said it would. I forgot to ask him if they could paint it metalflake blue. Dammit. Nice guy, great service.

There has been some motion in Badge Limbo. Notice that I didn't say I was one step closer to getting my badge - just that there has been motion. I have been hurt before, and I'm very cautious. I have hired a priest from the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to help move me from Limbo.

Today I identify as  a hammer. I'll probably hammer in the morning.

• if I'm reading and listening to something, I can hear better if I look at the speaker

Because of voter-approved regulations in California, bacon may disappear.

Ya know, California is its own planet, provided for our amusement, but THIS could spell the end of it. Protesting, nuclear bombs, armed insurrection at the grocery store....

• Fauci says more 'pain and suffering' still ahead
• meaning he's still in office..

The legal limit on how much debt the U.S. government can owe was reimposed Sunday, kicking off a high-stakes battle over federal spending with dire implications for global financial markets.

A two-year deal to suspend the debt ceiling lapsed at midnight following inaction from Congress and President Biden to give the U.S. more borrowing authority. The Treasury Department will now begin taking what it refers to as “extraordinary measures” to prevent the U.S. from defaulting on its debt.

I didn't spend this money. You didn't spend this money. The people you voted for have, and haven't done a thing to fix it. Your president just put through a historic tax raise. Is this what you want?

People experiencing hair loss months after Covid infection...

Study: Vaccinated people can carry as much virus as others...

Follow the science  

• So the International Space Station was minding its own business, when a Russian module decided to FIRE RETRO ROCKETS, causing a bit of a problem with the shuttle's attitude control. NASA is sending some BLM protesters to the shuttle, for attitude control.

Got a Kindle that uses 3G to connect?

Not much longer.

2G and 3G are being repurposed for 4G and 5G, so phones and anything else that uses them won't work, unless they also can use 4G.

Or wifi.

HE ESCAPED....

Well, not so much escaped, as had to drive his wife. To CostCo.

I used to say "All good things come from CostCo,: but I don't say that anymore. Perhaps good things come from CostCo when I'm not doing the shopping there. 

It was a multi-purpose visit: to pick something up from the pharmacy, to 'get a few things,' and to replace a phone. We all know you don't 'get a few things' at CostCo. Yes, you need milk, but that $3,000 sofa is really comfortable. Yes, you need frozen shrimp, but that dining room table set would go nice in the.... dining room. [remember these...both will become more significant. This is a literary technique called I Dunno, because I'm not a literary person].

While at the pharmacy, I observed the process for Flying AIDS shots. It involved going to 4 windows and asking where do you get the shots. You also get a free eye test, looking around for the place to get shots before you ask. Then, just like the doctor's office, you sit there for 60 minutes and wait. I'm sure there was even more hilarity, but I just couldn't bear watching it.  [hint: they're not really free... your insurance covers it]

I noticed there were a ton of Russian people. It's not like there were a lot of them, but all the overhead announcements were in Russian.

I just have to break in here and say "Morena Beccarin.... whoooooo"

Back to CostCo, they have a kiosk with phones for the 4 carriers. We found out by accident this kiosk closes at 5:30, because she was there and they couldn't get her a new phone because they were closing. These fine folk are not CostCo employees, because for some reason, CostCo couldn't find anyone who took an IQ test and failed among their ranks. So they brought in the guys from BobCo Fly By Night Keystone Kops Phone Sellers, Inc. I mean, it started ok... she said she wanted a new phone. They tried to upsell and failed. The specs and demo phones were located around the corner from the phones with the prices. Gee, I can't Imagine why. Know this: if you want an android phone, you can have anything you want, as long as it's Samsung. Literally. No other phones. The guy said iPhone and we both laughed. And of the Samsung phones, you could have any of about 6, with not a ton of difference between them, except price. It's getting bad when even android phones are over a grand.... that used to be iPhone territory exclusively.

Having selected her phone (I like that one... my friend has it), we began the process. And when I say began the process, I mean Boris the Idiot stared at his screen and looked pathetic. You see, Boris the Idiot was a trainee, so he legitimately didn't know what to do (unless he's been in training for 4 weeks and is simply an idiot). Unfortunately, his mentor, Gandolf the Fat, was taking care of other customers, leaving Boris the Idiot to stab at numbers randomly, occasionally asking Gandalf the Fat some questions. Apparently BobCo didn't think it was important to staff the kiosk with anything more than (semi) warm bodies (with incredibly silly clothes - I mean when they stand next to a customer, you can't tell which one works there).

So this continued. I sat at the dining room table display (see, I told you) and checked my email and surfed a bit of pr0n. People are flipping obnoxious in public. The screaming children are bad enough, but the winner was the people talking on their phones, in speakerphone mode. If they're near and particularly loud, I join in on the conversation. It's usually pretty effective... they either turn it down or run to the other side of the store, This is why I surf pr0n at CostCo - apparently there's a mandate to be obnoxious.

Thirty minutes of Boris calling Gandolf over takes us to paying for the phone. I continue with email while Wife goes to pay. Fifteen minutes later, Wife re-arrives and politely fills me in on The Deal: she has to pay, then look for a manager to take her and the phone back to the kiosk, probably because people are stealing their own phones after they pay for them. Managers are very busy doing Manager Things, thus they are hard to find. This is where I helped: I shoplifted a refrigerator and POOF - instant manager. 

At this point, the frozen shrimp in the cart defrosted and I had a cart full of little shrimp running all over the place, scaring the children.  While I'm sitting, some bald dude with a lot of earrings is in my personal space, looking at the box for the dining room table. He must be gay - gays like me.  But I don't care if he's Mila Kunis - GET OUT OF MY SPACE. Ok, maybe Mila Kunis, but you get the idea. I know what's for dinner because the frozen lasagna has not only defrosted, my temper is cooking it. My back hurts, my mouth is dry, and my neurons are not happy. 

Once the manager accompanies Mrs. lefty back to the kiosk, the fun continues. First Boris, then Gandalf exclusively spent another 27 minutes doing something, We don't know what, because they don't know either. I'm getting near the end and my nostrils are telling me to GET... OUT...in Morse code so I ask what's causing the current Major Backup. They say something in kiosk that I don't understand (because I don't speak kiosk). I suggest we go to the carrier store because this ain't workin. She tells me she already paid. I introduce her to the refund.

Finally, 2 hours later, she has a phone.

And they could NOT transfer her contacts or calendar.

And they double charged us.

And Gandalf the Fat threw in a shirt. Unfortunately it was the one he was wearing.

This is why I don't go out much.

Joe Biden’s Secretary of State Tony Blinken recently announced that he is inviting United Nations racism inspectors to the United States to conduct a report on American society.

HUH?

• Pentagon believes its precognitive AI can predict events 'days in advance'
• "We can catch incidents of bad thought and racial slurs..."  

BOMBSHELL: House Committee finds COVID-19 leaked from Wuhan lab

• Don't you hate it when you're a medical student and the body you're about to work on is your friend?

The Chinese Are Bugging my Instant Noodles

Your love is like  3 broken kneecaps


The Russian election interference continues. I think they're under the bed.
I keep inviting them up, but they keep pretending they're not there.


Dear lefty

• Why do people keep pretending they don't watch pr0n?
• because of a lifetime of being told 'that's dirty'  
• That's all you got?
• and because your mother sniffed glue through her pregnancies.

Mrs lefty just got home from shopping.

Or rather, the ambulance carried her in.

The line at CostCo was out the door, even before social distancing. It's almost like their management didn't expect people to be shopping. The stinky old ladies gave her an idea: farting, to enforce distancing. See why I married her?

We learned very early that I cannot accompany her. In a stunning gender turnabout, she would do her Shopping Business, while I would wander around, comparing chainsaws, tires, and computers [TIP: they don't compare]. 

We also learned very early that the courts do not take kindly to running down old ladies with your cart. Mind you, the police were very understanding, and admitted they did it themselves, but they had to take her in. This was more my idea anyway. Hey, we can all get along together, in peace and harmony, until you leave your cart in everyone's way, then wander off to look at something. It's the unspoken rules of civilization (they only have civilisation at CostCo UK). Then there's the people who reach in front of you. I find that biting their hands dissuades them, but you have to keep biting each new person.

Then there are the talkers. These people piss everyone off. They are on their phone, naturally (because this is a store), talking as loudly as humanly possible. You can hear them across the store, and we all know CostCo is 4 miles long on each side. If they talk loudly near me, I participate in their conversations. YES. OH, THAT's NICE. DID HE REALLY? A POUND OF KANGAROO EGGS? Either they get the message, or call Security (mostly Security). Sometimes I walk behind them as they shout into their device that can 'hear' the cockroaches that crawl all over the phone at night, while they're sleeping. 

You know me - I have the patience of an infant, along with some of its behavior. The last time I went, the lines were ridiculous and I wasn't of a mood to stand there. So I did what the adults told me; I used my words. I'M NOT STANDING IN THOSE LINES. I'D SOONER LEAVE THE CART HERE AND GO HOME. The adults were right - they opened a lane immediately. Ever since, there's a loud siren that goes off whenever I enter. I suspect a custom lefty detector.

Since it's 90 degrees outside, it's a great time to shop for winter coats at CostCo. I thought this was just a Store Thing, but CostCo is really out there. In 90 degree temperatures, your air conditioner  or fan is going to break. When it does, you better not go to CostCo, unless you want to replace them with space heaters. At one point I was told they have some nice couches. When we went to look at them, being a champion of the obvious, I noticed they weren't there. Perhaps we were shopping out of Couch Season. Unfortunately, nobody told us when Couch Season is. She suggests we can order online. Oh, sure, let's order furniture we've never really seen or sat upon - that sounds like a good idea. When we're done, we can order a car we've never sat in or driven; perhaps some potentially poisonous seafood we've never tasted. Welcome to Backwards Shopping World<tm>, where even the women can't figure it out.

If I'm particularly aggravated or bored, I ask one of the Cheerful Salespersons where the plastic explosives are. Their days are so mundane, I'm doing them a favor by introducing a little spark, so to speak. The real pains in the ass are the demo ladies, who stand there, cooking things, that customers shove down their throats because it's free. Some have dinner there. Ok, it's not their fault - again, it's the rude customers. I don't care if they're choking on their Deep Fried Grease Bits - stay out of the lanes of travel. It's a simple matter of respect and convention. Someone will eventually jump up behind them, put their arms around them, and yank. Someone might even try the Heimlick Maneuver. Meanwhile, the rest of the shoppers can finish up their list, provided they finally found that little black thing that goes in the toilet... not the bowl - inside the tank. Near the bottom. You know what I'm talking about, right?  [sound of explosion]

• The FDA wants you to know NOT to drink the hand sanitizer, even if it's sold in what looks like a beer can.
• Don't forget - these people can mail in their vote...

Impressive: you got a Tesla

Embarrassing: you hit a car
Dumb Shit: it was a police car

Seriously?: you were watching a movie

This is only going to get better  

RNC 2020: Trump warns Biden will 'demolish' American dream.

That's not fair.. he won't demolish it, so much as take away its guns and tax it to death. Let's be accurate: the American dream was gone long before we were born: Trump merely made things more amusing.

BeagleBoyz: 2020's hottest country-rap band... HOLD IT. Doesn't anyone see anything wrong with this?

I'm gonna hit the store
and I'm ridin in my truck
It's rainin outside
but I don't give a .... damn


You want protest? I'll give you protest.
All the sports teams that are on strike?
Their fans should go on strike. No games (when they start), no tv, no official merchandise, and perhaps a little reproducing without the express written consent of the NFL. 

I am not shilling, nor do I get so much as a free straw, but iced mocha coffee and frozen hot chocolate make my day (Dunkin). They shortened their name to Dunkin, because people might not be able to deal with the complexity of Dunkin Donuts.

Let's all raise a sympathetic paw to Penny, whose mommy is visiting folks for a few days. The poor dog will spend a day or three sitting alone, looking out the window for her mommy. Even though I'm home. She'll eventually sit near me and will sleep with me, but only because the room is cool. Meanwhile I need a babysitter to keep me attentive and busy while Penny's mommy is gone. Sandra Bullock isn't busy, as the film industry has shut down, nor is Linda Fiorentino, nor is the lady who owns our personal pizza place, none of which would entertain babysitting me. I think.

For new readers, you know that when the president is unable to fulfill the duties of his office, the vice president takes over. I figure that when the wife is unable to fulfill the duties of her office, the vice wife should take over. Strangely, this concept is not popular with the wife. She said she wants a vice husband. I agreed - I don't always fulfill my duties, like mowing the lawn. She could have the vice husband do it. I can fulfill all the other duties just fine.

UPDATE: Mrs lefty felt so much Catho-Jewish semi-Armenian guilt about leaving her doggie, she's cutting her visit short. She doesn't want her child to suffer anymore; sitting, looking out the window. You will notice there is no such concern about her husband...



Mrs lefty is not always gud wit words, so I fix her when I can.
I explained that a baklavah is what you wear to peacefully burn cars, and a balaclava is eaten for dessert. She's lucky to have me.



I've about had it with searching for things on shopping sites.
Today on Amazon, I searched for "MI Audio Super Crunch Box" (a guitar pedal). I got returns for UNBLOCK PROS, SUPERBOX theater bundle, 6 zone speaker selector, take out food containers, fast food takeout menu book, a Beavis and Butthead book, and Pussy Natural Energy Drink. I believe in honesty: if you don't have it, go ahead and tell me. Besides, I didn't know pussy had an energy drink.

Furthermore, it's very difficult to get a left handed Bluetooth mouse. Yes, there are left handed mice, but most mice have this ridiculous RF wireless that requires a tiny receiver, plugged into a USB port. Naturally, when I search, I get only right handed, few Bluetooth mice. Suck my algorithm, Amazon.

I highly recommend the Microsoft (no, really) ergonomic keyboard and the mice that you operate as if you're shaking hands.

SJW Sleeze 

• Princess Diana statue to be installed to mark her 60th birthday
• the next day, BLM will tear it down, citing racism 

JK Rowling said she is giving back an award associated with the US Kennedy family, after being criticised for her views on gender and trans issues. Harry Potter puts a spell on award that makes it keep reappearing at Rowling's mansion.

BLM pushes Japan to confront racism (not that this group is spreading faster than the Flying AIDS).

Peaceful protesters in Sacramento, dressed in black, faces covered, smashed windows and destroyed buildings the other night. We never thought we'd see the day that peace spread throughout America.

There is a relatively new newslady on the news here. She's kinda pretty, with long, straight black hair. One day she appeared with a style that can best be described as Poodle. The next day it was straight again. We both looked at the tv, with that 'you did WHAT?' grimace. She just announced she'll be keeping the Poodle, to show her black roots. In addition, I just announced that I'm going to shave one side of my head and appear shirtless, to show my ugly slob roots. Ugly Slobs Matter!

If you are allergic to Aspirin, Don't Take Aspirin

Dear lefty

• What goes with red wine?
• Cyanide.

I caught bits of an Amazon commercial the other day. It was about how great it is working there; mentioning tuition, other benefits, paying for learning to leave the company, and the bonus.. they're trans friendly. I could have misheard, but.... this would be the first commercial with trans specifically mentioned. Not a problem, but an observation. They are also Hepatitis C friendly, viral pneumonia friendly, and Ebola friendly (but only on weekends).

• It was pointed out that Mrs lefty has the biggest boobs in the family. It was further pointed out that she married the biggest boob in the family.

Today I identify as a railing

• a family member noted that Costco was getting expensive. You go in for milk and leave with a set of tires. Turns out you can get the whole car too. And while you're shopping, there are sea trips on big ships.
• This is why I don't go to Costco. That and the #&@ing old ladies, who slam into you, with their cart or with their car.

No thank you, I'd rather watch reruns of Match Game '73

• What do you do when you don't approve of the 2nd Amendment and wish to share your disapproval with your city?  You adopt a $0.02 tax per .22 caliber and $0.05 tax per other ammo. Then you hit the dealers with a $25 fee per handgun sold. Thank you, Tacoma. "We need to do more to aid the criminals."

PA residents: locate your senators and tell them to vote for Victoria's Law. PA is a puppy mill state and we need all the help we can get.

• Hey - how about a new 42% sales tax? The Democrat Medicare for All plan would require something like it....

Best quote in Australian police wiretap history: "I sold the rocket launchers to my mate and he sold it to those fucking dickhead terrorists. Now it's a fucking drama."




Heroes of the Heart

A plumber fixed the boiler of a 91-year-old terminally ill woman and billed her $0




Heroes of the Stupid

Woman claims Sephora mailed her cocaine.  This is a woman who is serious about her makeup.


PG&E says power lines may have started 2 northern California wildfires.
Hey - wasn't the blackout to prevent PG&E from causing fires?


Florida pastor kills himself after teen accuses him of raping her over 100 times.
If more would take the easy way out, the pope could continue ignoring the problem.


In the Fordham Law Review, Elizabeth Warren is stated to be a woman of color at Harvard.  This lady has an identification issue. First American Indian, then black. Next week it will be male, Eastern Indian,  and towel bar


Man accidentally shoots himself after throwing gun at cockroach to kill it.
Another cockroach-related shooting.




SJW Statistics

The Harvard Crimson, the university's student-run newspaper, is facing a campus backlash after requesting comment from Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) for an article on a campus protest against the agency. Eleven student groups, including the Harvard College Democrats, signed a petition accusing the Harvard Crimson of showing cultural insensitivity for even contacting the government agency. On Sept. 12, students advocating for the abolition of ICE assembled for a rally organized by student group Act on a Dream in Harvard Yard. After the protest concluded, the paper reached out to an ICE spokesperson to ask for a statement in response to the protest for an upcoming story. Soon after, Act on a Dream published a petition, which currently has over 650 signatures, demanding The Crimson change its policies so that none of its reporters ever make contact with ICE again and apologize for the "harm [it] inflicted on the undocumented community."


"She committed rhetorical violence against me!"


The University of Maryland is firmly against any Halloween costumes that are deemed to be guilty of 'cultural appropriation' - they "have no place in an inclusive community."   Just think of the bargain here: you get an education, tens of thousands in bills, and the complete SJW indoctrination!

Beto's Dog: get me OUT of here!

Condoms in the Workplace

Did you know the web was largely text-only at the beginning? From the command line, you fired up Lynx, a text browser. If there were images in the page, all you saw was [image]. It has been suggested we go back to lynx, if only for reducing the load on our computers. 

In case you're curious, email was handled by programs like elm and pine, also from the command line. No email programs on your computer. No html. No emojis. No wallpaper, no pictures, no viruses.... All monitors were black and white (or green or yellowish). You couldn't see a picture no matter how desperate you were. I would go back to this email in a second, It's still available.


Magecart hackers infect 17,000 sites through misconfigured Amazon S3 buckets.   This is THE CLOUD, people. It's bad enough you don't keep your data in-house, but sending it to THE CLOUD without correctly configuring the highway is pure idiocy. And this is the latest and greatest hack - you just scan for open buckets and hack away.


The City Mayors' Association has voted not to pay any more ransoms when they get infected with ransomware.

That's nice.

The City Mayors' Association hasn't voted on backing up their networks, patching the machines, and training the employees not to click on phishing emails.

This policy will suddenly be recalled. As soon as the next city gets hacked.


Microsoft pushed another Win 10 update, this time including a telemetry file. For those of you not familiar, this is the Designated Spying Section of Win 10. If you turn it off, the spying won't stop entirely.  RECOMMENDATION: use a safe, secure operating system that doesn't spy on you.

•  PRO TIP: if you need some political wisdom, consult Ron Paul, not Ru Paul. Trust me.

Dear lefty

• How do we achieve world peace?
• Boom boom. Just enough boom boom so there's little time to do anything else, but you still want more.
• this offer not valid on any day of the week ending in Y. Priests and Boy Scout leaders not eligible. If you sell counterfeit NFL jerseys, ICE will break down your door and deport you.

Fine Florida Finesse

A Florida woman was arrested after ruining $2,000 worth of ice cream by spitting, picking her nose, and urinating into containers.

This is not some 15 year old looking for net cred (she's well past 30). At least the police are catching these idiots. Next up: sneeze guards on ice cream freezers.

A Palm Beach, Florida, principal has been removed after questioning the factual existence of the Holocaust, to protect Holocaust deniers from having to hear propaganda forced on them.

A Florida woman was charged with a felony after her daughter was filmed licking tongue depressor in a medical center.

• Stevie Wonder told London fans he's getting a kidney transplant in a few months. A donor has been found. Good luck, Stevie. 
• In unrelated news, a Cleveland man scored backstage passes for life to Stevie Wonder concerts, plus an all expenses paid vacation with Stevie.

Why do I love our Hyundai?
Aside from many other reasons, it has held together through an uncountable number of people hitting it. It was happening at least monthly. It was personal. Fortunately the accidents stopped.

Until today, of course.
Wife shops at Costco, which I can't stand due to crowds and incontinent, entitled old people. One of these incompetent grannies backed right into our parked car, then jumped out, screaming, and demanded the police be called (she probably couldn't operate a phone, no less a car). Yes, it's personal.

Costco, you're on notice.
You owe us for every ding caused by these aged oafs. You owe us for grief suffered from the dings and grief suffered because of these antedeluvians clogging up the incredibly wide aisles. They leave their carts in the middle and walk off.  I wonder if they ever find their way back. Old people are a treasure, except your old people. You need to modify your client base or set up special shopping hours for them only (so they can run into each other and scream).

To make the experience complete, Costco didn't have Raisin Bran. What kind of insane asylum is out of Raisin Bran? The last actual insane asylum I visited had Raisin Bran in the kitchen. Just not Costco.



We don't mess with genetic engineering on humans, but we're having a blast with fruits. These exist:

pluot - plum crossed with apricot
apriplu - apricot crossed with plum

This is the same principle as greenish blue and bluish green. Partly sunny and partly cloudy. Slightly pregnant.




The year was 1968. Apollo 8 launched and orbited the Moon. While around the dark side, where communications don't work, astronauts saw a light; one suggesting it looked like a campfire.

In the capsules is a recorder, which takes down all audio. Upon return, the audio was transcribed, then classified, of course. Recently the transcription was declassified, and the discussion about the light was read for the first time.

Apollo 11 saw something similar and managed a photograph. It's pretty convincing. Even NASA's Denial Squad Guy fully admitted they saw it and didn't try to poo-poo it.  The non-NASA Denial Squad tried too, but were debunked.

There is still no answer (available) as to what they saw.




Ever wonder what happens when priests get caught molesting children?
Opus Bono steps in with help, money, shelter, defense.... and they're well-funded.

Everybody deserves legal representation, but these people sicken me.
If there is a hell....




SJW Stuff

A Virginia man was arrested after burning a flag in the parking lot of a Walmart. The sheriff acknowledged the person's right to burn a flag, but arrested him for 'doing it in a public place with the intent of intimidating others.'

That charge is still a speech charge. When does burning a flag count as intimidating others? Having large, threatening-looking men at polling places is intimidation. If this shining example of a sheriff wanted to 'teach him a lesson' he might have considered something around a disturbance on someone else's property. It's Walmart's parking lot, not his. He should have burned the flag on his own property. But we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, plus the police there don't like flag burners, so they have to lob any charge that might stick.

The Quick Brown Fox Gets Run Over Early

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