And Now, the Breast of the Story

President Trump and the FBA (Federal Blogging Association) now require this disclaimer on all blogs:

Do not read ThermionicEmissions if you are allergic to ThermionicEmissions. Always read ThermionicEmissions with an alcoholic beverage, on an empty stomach. Use caution if you are driving.

ThermionicEmissions should not be read if you are pregnant, thinking about getting pregnant, or practicing getting pregnant. Do not read if you are not consuming recreational pharmaceuticals, if your kids are in the room, in the bath, in the shower, or thinking about a shower. Tell your internet provider if you develop a persistent laugh, which could be the sign of a serious mental condition.

Side effects include itchy breasts, heart attack, bloody spleen, black plague, red death, blue balls, spitting out your pancreas, punching old ladies, screaming WHY DIDN'T YOU MOLEST *ME* at priests, OCD OCD OCD, shaving your testicles, shaving your mother's testicles, and death. 


One percent of people who read the blog asked for a different blog. The other 99 percent were too stunned to reply. Only 3 percent of men became pregnant. 38 percent assaulted the person who referred them. The majority painted their nipples red and sang loudly, out of tune, at the zoo.



Amazon now lets you opt-out of having humans review your Alexa conversations.

No really. We're not kidding this time. We'd never lie to you. We're good, honest people.


I don't use goog Maps (or goog anything), so here are 10 alternatives. The irony is they're all available from the goog play store. I'd avoid mapquest if you're interested in getting somewhere.


If you fly Cathay Pacific, the privacy policy changed: they will gather all possible information on you. This will be aided by cameras in lounges and plane cabins. The statement from Cathay is that they don't have cameras in the loos, so don't worry. Meanwhile there are cameras on the seat back entertainment console, which they claim aren't used. Don't fly Cathay.


This won't come as a surprise to ThermionicEmissions readers, but Microsoft contractors are listening to some Skype calls. I'll go one step further.. Microsoft is very fond of Telemetry, so they're listening too. The program was cracked before they bought it.


AT&T customer? Employees took bribes to plant malware on the company network, as well as unlocking phones. I like the unlocking phones part..





Dear lefty:

• Why does my wife have more shoes than clothes?
• Because she's preparing to go clothes shopping.

A man proposed to his girlfriend by putting a ring on a cow's udder.
Ten points for creativity. Minus eight points for romance being dead.





THIEF!
The other day I noticed there were no cereal bowls. Ok, perhaps I didn't wash them or something.  Dear, have you seen any bowls lately? No? Where do you suspect they all went?  Bowl thieves? People from different dimensions popping in and stealing them for fun? People from the future, coming back and taking ours because there aren't any after the year 2502? Cereal Bowl Fairies? A cocker that takes them and buries them in the yard?

Sometimes I find dishes in ... different... places. Like the forks on the other side of the kitchen, near the tree limb lopper.  Tupperware outside, near the driveway. Coffee cups in the tub. Paper plates made into mock wind chimes, attached to the back of the car. Stuff like that....



It's not that our driving has gone to hell, nor is it our driving manners...
Ok, it IS.
There is a bad section of the Turnpike, where alleged repairs are being done on the road.
Undaunted, the drivers are knocking down the bright orange pylons and driving outside the traffic lanes.
Daunted, the drivers are pulling over, with mangled cars, from driving over repair detritus.
Instant Karma.



An indefinite 'security' lockdown is in place in the Indian-controlled portion of Kashmir.
This means the internet was shut off to avoid protests.
If you're ever curious why I'm so against any government control of the net, here it is.

• Amnesty International has issued a travel warning for the US
• The US has issued a Do Not Pay Attention warning for Amnesty International

There are already calls for Boris Johnson to resign and a no-confidence vote.
This makes the US and UK feel so alike, in spite of the distance between them.



Heard on tv
No matter what I wear, I'm afraid people will see my bladder leak underwear.



I'm in the waiting room at the doctor's office, minding my own business.
The couple across from me is listening to their voicemail at TOP VOLUME and commenting on it. This goes on forever. Since I'm socially retarded, I was hoping  you can help me choose the right thing to do

• scream "SHUT THE FUCK UP, you shameless bastards."
• say "If I wanted to hear idiots, I'd turn on the tv"
• pull down pants and masturbate furiously
• tell them to go home and molest their sheep

Bang Bang
Once again, bad people with guns shot good people (apparently) without them.
Everyone has sounded off on this; the people who think laws deter criminals, the people who don't want one restriction on their liberty, and the 'hate' crowd.

I'm going to sidestep that and look at the issues surrounding this.
Already, one social media platform has had (at least) its DDOS protection shut down. I haven't read the alleged hate-filled, motivating messages, but I think that unless the speech is illegal, they should be left alone [8chan posted the shooter's manifesto]. Shutting down DDOS protection clashes with my belief that private companies can do what they want - I admit it. But the alleged cesspool that is 8chan (never been there), should be left alone. Nothing 8chan said forced some mentally-questionable person to pick up a gun and shoot. Let's have some personal responsibility here. They're words. The problem is with actions.

Free speech includes speech with which you do not agree.
Posting whatever kind of crap online also helps you keep track of these loons. I'm sure social media platforms have algorithms that discover this kind of speech. Let the dummies continue to leave it out for everyone to see.

The above assumes you agree with the information put out after the shootings.
Some believe there's something else afoot. Your mileage may vary.


Related, you'll notice the official story changes here and there. The witness said 4 shooters, the press said 1 shooter. The witness said green pants, but the guy they arrested had brown pants. I am not telling you what this is, just telling you that it is.  Want to check up on what's happening? Usually the truth comes out first, then gets replaced with the official narrative. Go to your phone's software store and download a scanner app like Scanner Radio. You can set it to alert you when lots of people are listening to a particular scanner feed. You can also set it to BING when local police/fire are busy. There's no manual labor involved after you set the limits to alert you. You will hear what's happening first, from the mouths of the police there.

If you're at home, go to broadcastify.com to hear anything that the app can produce. It's a good site when you hear there's a problem. Another online resource is fox10phoenix.com  - they tend to have news earlier than others. Plus I like the climate there.

• If the dog wants something, she'll stand between her humans, barking urgently. This makes conversation difficult. If we throw a toy and it lands on a chair, she stands there and barks.
• There is not a single being in the house with an ounce of patience. Apparently opposites do not attract.
• Today we watched her stand still, then leap into the air to catch a bird. This works out well, because I don't have a camo outfit and shotgun to take her out huntin' with me.

In my quest to find as unbiased a news source as possible, I found a feed for Israeli news (i24). After spending 5 minutes there, I deleted it. It's not that they didn't like our president, but interviewed only people who disagreed with him, and asked questions indicating a left wing bias. After the shootings, they asked what he should do about mental health and apologizing for hate he caused.  Ok, no bias there. From the questions and answers, you'd think Trump pulled the trigger at both shootings. You'd also think that no one has an original thought, instead, waiting for programming from online to tell them what to do. I just want a little unbiased news. Again, I didn't vote for him, but the rampant bias is sickening. A friend said he didn't vote for Trump, but the behavior of his opponents makes him want to defend Trump and followers. He makes a point.

I support free speech, even in other countries, even when I don't agree.

I also support stopping aid to other countries, 100%, now. Oddly, as printed here before, Israel gets the most US aid of any country. Aid and news are not related - just irony today.

Just to drive the point home, I turned on Fox news and there was a commercial for the Ark exhibit. Click.



The Boss said the meeting would topic would be Ad Hoc.
What a terrible-sounding phrase. It sounds like you're clearing your throat, which must mean it's German. It's probably a declaration of love. AD HOC, fraulein!

Now let's have a go at the Chinese: bok choi.
It roughly translates to "We must fight acrobatically, out of sync"
Bok CHOI!



watching tv...
ME: Wow, she's pretty.
WIFE: She looks like a porn star.
ME: and the problem is...?



A Florida couple experienced a small after effect of a storm, when lightning hit close to their septic tank, blowing their toilet on its side. So if you've got a septic tank or a toilet, don't swim in them during a storm.



SJW Stuff

[Coalition for Women in Tech]
White Papers are racist.           [ok, I made that up, but it's not too far off]

Rosanna Arquette: 'I'm sorry I was born white and privileged. It disgusts me.'
This is a winner. I kept looking for a sign it was a joke, but no.

Blog? You Call This Thing A Blog?

Best Headline:

1 person sent to hospital after drinking internet personality's bath water.

No really... there's at least one young female making a bundle selling her (used) bath water. Is this one of those apocalypse horsies I always hear about?


Speaking of selling your bath water, the latest trend is going to a store and licking something from a package, like ice cream, then putting it back. Of course you video yourself and post it on the net.

Remember Ariana Grande? She went into a donut shop, picked up a donut and licked it, then put it back, stating that she hated white people. For once, she was ahead of the curve.

One person caught doing this faces up to 20 years in prison. I wonder if the trial will be livestreamed on Faceyspaces and become a trend....

The police apprehended one of these people and arrested him for tampering. The fellow showed them store video of him purchasing the item after the stunt, but he got arrested anyway.


UPDATE: The girl selling bathwater (or one of her friends) is also selling urine, as Gamer Girl Pee.

I don't do sociology, but I want to know that sociologists are saying about this.




Dear lefty:

• Why is my display so dirty?
• Too much one-handed typing.

NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory was hacked for nearly a year without being detected. It was discovered in April 2018 and NASA temporarily disconnected several space flight related systems from the JPL network.  

In other news, the Mars Rover, NASA's coffee machines, and several lunar simulators belonging to JPL have all stopped working....


Do you have a MAC and use the videoconferencing service ZOOM?
Don't.
A security researcher discovered a flaw that allows to turn on your webcam without your knowledge or consent. The second flaw is that it installs a web server on your computer which stays there, even if you delete the software. This means things can be downloaded to your computer without your knowledge or permission. The company patched the first item but chose to leave the server, for 'user experience'.  

Don't use Zoom


Researchers discovered over 1,300 android apps collected data when you denied permission.


The US Coast Guard issued a safety alert following a cyber attack:

1. Do not use your computers under water
2. Use protection, personally and on your computer (they didn't).
3. There is a 90% probability your bunkmate does not want to play Hide the Salami.

• Microsoft partners told they're no longer getting free software to run their businesses.
• Partners should look into a free OS that is free of licensing and free of MS. We might know of one.....

Things We Can Do Without

1. Wasabi ice cream
2. the Duck Decoy Museum
3. bagpipes

UK News

In an interview, Boris Johnson said he couldn't wait to get his message out. The interviewer suggested perhaps showing up at debates might help. Boris terminated the interview, but allowed that he might send his lawnmower to the debates next time.

The British Labour Party continues to deal with antisemitism allegations. A party member resigned because he couldn't deal with the level of antisemitism. Labour said they regret his resignation and wish the goddamn Christ-Killing Jew the best.

In yet another move for world diplomacy, President Trump referred to the UK ambassador as 'wacky,' and a 'very stupid guy', after the ambassador referred to him as 'the kind of person who is tall and has good teeth', in a leaked paper.

Not satisfied, Trump then scolded Teresa May for not taking his advice on Brexit, then failing totally. Comments were immediate, saying that Brexit was none of Trump's business. The comments came during the protest against Trump's border policies.



UPDATE: the British Ambassador resigned.

Although my diplomacy skills are rough (largely nonexistent), I'm wondering about this affair. The way I see it, if the Prime Minister asked for a report, advice, or observation, the fellow was in the right in giving it. The leaker was a cheeky little bugger who needs a lesson. Was the ambassador correct in making the assessment? If so, leave him alone. If he was wrong, he should resign. So far, this is only a show (politics as usual). The issue here seems to be that he got caught. Will the ability to avoid this be the single criterion for his replacement?

Would the US do the same thing?

Please correct me if I'm off here or this is not how diplomacy works.

Note: I'm just asking about the process. I am not commenting on the note, the accuracy of the note, or Trump.

• RIP Rip:  Elmore Raul Torn, Jr, aka Rip Torn (88).
• Charles Elmer Taylor, aka Rip Taylor, is still throwing confetti.

Mrs lefty came home from shopping (never a good omen) and showed me her bounty. She tells me she saved me $100 on these shoes. Suspending disbelief, I asked her how. Well, these shoes were on sale, as were these... $100 off the bill!

That's nice, Dear. By the way, I just saved you $1,000.
HUH?
Well the left handed guitar shop has a Custom Shop 1958 Strat. If I ordered it new, it would be $4,000. Since it's used, it's only $3,000. I saved you $1,000!

Turns out savings doesn't work both ways.

• I love recruiters. Just received info on a job 5 hours away. I politely declined, stating the 10 hour commute would be too much.
• What is wrong with these people?

SJW Stuff

Salon magazine: exposed: The Declaration of Independence is sexist, racist, and prejudiced.


Bette Midler tweeted that it's 115 degrees in France and Trump is only interested in putting tanks on the mall for a salute to himself. 36k likes. I'm a fan of hers.

Twitter: where you find your favorite stars' personal opinions lack any sort of discernible logic.

Perhaps she wants the president to load up an aircraft carrier with window air conditioners for the people of France. Or send emergency ice. Will she carry air conditioners and do a USO show for the troops? She can sing her hit, "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy Who Voted for Hillary."



Remember Antifa - the anti fascists?
Remember they committed acts of violence against people who didn't agree with them in Portland? With masks on?
Remember how they and their friends honestly believe they can assault people because they deserve it (for showing up and disagreeing nonviolently)?
Remember how the police did nothing, under orders of the mayor?

One day, Antifa is going to protest in the wrong neighborhood, say somewhere in Texas. There will be some dirty diapers that day. Open carry is a religion in Texas.

I really don't want to see this. No one should get assaulted, milkshaked, or shot at a public protest. No matter how much you want to see someone get some instant karma. As they say online, Shit's Getting Real.

How do you convince a misguided group of people that it is not a human right to hit people with crowbars if you think they're Nazis? They're going to get way more than they anticipate.

It's almost like Divide and Conquer.

Oh.

UK Spying

The UK government has voted itself a new spying bill that's positively draconian in scope. Nicknamed the Snooper's Charter, it requires providers to keep your browsing history for a year. The information will be available, without a warrant, to the Usual Suspects, plus such important State Security entities as the Gambling Commission.

While this is another step in the lack of privacy landslide in the UK, the US and other countries would be well-served to keep their eyes on its progress. The UK seems to be a testing ground of sorts for Bad Anti-Privacy Laws.

That said, this article features some really good information for everyone to protect their communications, like Signal messenger, Tor, and VPNs. Even if you're not planning to take security seriously, read it and familiarize yourself with the situation.

• In case you were kept awake at night, wondering what is the cause for male homosexuality, your answer is here. [Hint: ghosts]

I realize 2016 isn't over yet, but this headline is in the running for best of the year: Are White People Promoting Homosexuality as a Means of Undermining the Black Struggle?

• Speaking of 2016, and I wish we weren't, we bid farewell to some larger than life people in their fields: Greg Lake and John Glenn. Remember the good old days, when rock stars would die of drug overdoses? Now it's cancer. Emerson, Lake and Palmer: and then there was one.

With the rise in Utter Nonsense that is Fake News, remember this: Fake News is anything that particular person does not want you to read. The irony of Hillary warning about Fake News is strong: her administration fed Fake News to the media. In spite of this, Trump won.

• This morning I asked the dog that since he's so smart, why doesn't he let himself outside and back in. He replied that he's so smart he has us do it for him.  Can't argue.

Do you have a Netgear R6400, R7000, R8000 (go check - I'll wait). If you do, turn it the hell off and replace it or wait til Netgear releases a fix. The article linked will tell you how to check to see if your router is vulnerable. The routers look like little spaceships from some new space-horror movie, with lots of antennae.

• Important Stuff you missed over the weekend: nothing.

Remember the Colonial Theater? It's the place where The Blob was filmed. It's been totally redone and is a delightful place to see a movie or concert. They just let me know that if I'm 70 or older, my IRA distributions can benefit the theater, but only tax-deferred gifts of up to $100,000. Drat - if I were only 70 or older...

• I need to stop this entry right now for a very important bulletin: the Opera browser was split off into another one called Vivaldi. In the latest version, you can now select themes! But wait... as if that weren't enough, you can schedule the time for the theme to change! Vivaldi works on most operating systems, for your convenience.

I received an email, asking to evaluate a course I took. They asked fifteen minutes of my time. In acknowledging my time, they said that every tenth evaluator would win a t-shirt with their logo.  I was never a math star, but with their courses starting at $300, I'm thinking of holding out for maybe a t-shirt AND some pocket lint.

• Kentucky Fried Chicken, hereafter referred to as KFC (or WTF), has admitted that their Colonel's Club has suffered a breach, 'possibly' exposing 1.2 million customers' details. WHAT? Did any of us know that there's a Colonel's Club at KFC? A loyalty program for greasy, heart attack inducing deep fried grease bits? No wonder this country's in trouble.

Speaking of the Irrepressibly Stupid, the UN has declared Wonder Woman as the ambassador for empowering women. As if that weren't Stupid enough, feminist outrage stepped right in, within microseconds, and demanded a stop be put to this travesty for a few reasons: she is a fictional character who wears thigh high boots and exposed cleavage (because Mother Teresa was unavailable for the position), she is too white, closely associated with the American flag, and "not culturally sensitive." This proves that the UN is a ridiculous, useless organization (in case we didn't already know this) and that feminists are a ridiculous parody of themselves (in case we didn't already know this). Perhaps we should all get together, at KFC, and find common ground.

I learned some Good Stuff growing up. My mother did a pretty good job. In grade school, I noticed some of my friends really didn't like black people. This was confusing and low-class to us, even in our mostly white neighborhood. It occurred to me that - hey... racism is learned. I also saw a small amount of antisemitism, also flowing down, but nowhere near as prevalent as the racism. The few Jewish kids in the 'hood were sometimes harangued by the parents of their friends, although it didn't seem to be a problem in school.

Fast forward to The Online Age, where everyone you don't like is Literally Hitler. As a merrymaker, I have seen comics do really funny things with Hitler, especially Monty Python (who could make cardboard hilarious). There were a few features of his that invited poking and I do like to poke.

Everything online is obviously a reflection of Real Life<tm>, to some degree; so I see a lot of Hitler references, 99.9% of them intended to beat down someone's speech or point. With the Hitler references are the Jew references. At first they were kinda funny. Then no so much. After a while I realized that there were groups of people who really, seriously did not like Jews, blaming them for everything from retail sales issues to a secret plot to ruin the world. The 'watchdog' agency, the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), may have done some good in the past but right now they're a ridiculous parody of themselves, pointing their finger and screaming "ANTISEMITE" at everything and everyone. Kinda like the Black Lives Matter and the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Recently I've run into some really bad examples of humanity online. They don't necessarily leap out, screaming, "JEWS! JEWS! JEWS DID IT!" but they're pretty close. It's a bit unnerving being around these people, even online. I see a lot more of this than overt racism, but it might be the places I visit.

Also popping up is the White Genocide movement. These guys are also a bit different. They seem to feel that movements to let foreigners in the country is white genocide. I think. They'll be the first to say White Lives Matter (all lives matter, even the Stupid). I'm sure they have a few points in their favor but I haven't studied the platform.

My first instinct is to block these people or not visit these sites. But Howard Stern, bastion of civility, taught everyone a lesson. One of his recurring guests was the KKK Guy. Howard kept him front and center and took a lot of heat for it. In my mind, Howard exposed his enemy and kept him front and center, where millions of people could see what he was up to and realize that, yes, this ugliness still exists.  So I no longer block any of this nonsense, preferring to see it for what it is. While the ADL has become a ridiculous parody of itself, I suppose some of it bears watching (by all of us).  And of course, this will be blamed on Trump, as if he personally gave out licenses to these folks. Regardless, we enjoy free speech and I'll fight for anyone's right to it.

Watch where you hang out, virtually or in Real Life<tm>.