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Side effects include itchy breasts, heart attack, bloody spleen, black plague, red death, blue balls, spitting out your pancreas, punching old ladies, screaming WHY DIDN'T YOU MOLEST *ME* at priests, OCD OCD OCD, shaving your testicles, shaving your mother's testicles, and death.
One percent of people who read the blog asked for a different blog. The other 99 percent were too stunned to reply. Only 3 percent of men became pregnant. 38 percent assaulted the person who referred them. The majority painted their nipples red and sang loudly, out of tune, at the zoo.
Amazon now lets you opt-out of having humans review your Alexa conversations.
No really. We're not kidding this time. We'd never lie to you. We're good, honest people.
I don't use goog Maps (or goog anything), so here are 10 alternatives. The irony is they're all available from the goog play store. I'd avoid mapquest if you're interested in getting somewhere.
If you fly Cathay Pacific, the privacy policy changed: they will gather all possible information on you. This will be aided by cameras in lounges and plane cabins. The statement from Cathay is that they don't have cameras in the loos, so don't worry. Meanwhile there are cameras on the seat back entertainment console, which they claim aren't used. Don't fly Cathay.
This won't come as a surprise to ThermionicEmissions readers, but Microsoft contractors are listening to some Skype calls. I'll go one step further.. Microsoft is very fond of Telemetry, so they're listening too. The program was cracked before they bought it.
AT&T customer? Employees took bribes to plant malware on the company network, as well as unlocking phones. I like the unlocking phones part..
Dear lefty:
- Why does my wife have more shoes than clothes?
- Because she's preparing to go clothes shopping.
A man proposed to his girlfriend by putting a ring on a cow's udder.
Ten points for creativity. Minus eight points for romance being dead.
THIEF!
The other day I noticed there were no cereal bowls. Ok, perhaps I didn't wash them or something. Dear, have you seen any bowls lately? No? Where do you suspect they all went? Bowl thieves? People from different dimensions popping in and stealing them for fun? People from the future, coming back and taking ours because there aren't any after the year 2502? Cereal Bowl Fairies? A cocker that takes them and buries them in the yard?
Sometimes I find dishes in ... different... places. Like the forks on the other side of the kitchen, near the tree limb lopper. Tupperware outside, near the driveway. Coffee cups in the tub. Paper plates made into mock wind chimes, attached to the back of the car. Stuff like that....
It's not that our driving has gone to hell, nor is it our driving manners...
Ok, it IS.
There is a bad section of the Turnpike, where alleged repairs are being done on the road.
Undaunted, the drivers are knocking down the bright orange pylons and driving outside the traffic lanes.
Daunted, the drivers are pulling over, with mangled cars, from driving over repair detritus.
Instant Karma.
An indefinite 'security' lockdown is in place in the Indian-controlled portion of Kashmir.
This means the internet was shut off to avoid protests.
If you're ever curious why I'm so against any government control of the net, here it is.
- Amnesty International has issued a travel warning for the US
- The US has issued a Do Not Pay Attention warning for Amnesty International
There are already calls for Boris Johnson to resign and a no-confidence vote.
This makes the US and UK feel so alike, in spite of the distance between them.
Heard on tv
No matter what I wear, I'm afraid people will see my bladder leak underwear.
I'm in the waiting room at the doctor's office, minding my own business.
The couple across from me is listening to their voicemail at TOP VOLUME and commenting on it. This goes on forever. Since I'm socially retarded, I was hoping you can help me choose the right thing to do
- scream "SHUT THE FUCK UP, you shameless bastards."
- say "If I wanted to hear idiots, I'd turn on the tv"
- pull down pants and masturbate furiously
- tell them to go home and molest their sheep
Bang Bang
Once again, bad people with guns shot good people (apparently) without them.
Everyone has sounded off on this; the people who think laws deter criminals, the people who don't want one restriction on their liberty, and the 'hate' crowd.
I'm going to sidestep that and look at the issues surrounding this.
Already, one social media platform has had (at least) its DDOS protection shut down. I haven't read the alleged hate-filled, motivating messages, but I think that unless the speech is illegal, they should be left alone [8chan posted the shooter's manifesto]. Shutting down DDOS protection clashes with my belief that private companies can do what they want - I admit it. But the alleged cesspool that is 8chan (never been there), should be left alone. Nothing 8chan said forced some mentally-questionable person to pick up a gun and shoot. Let's have some personal responsibility here. They're words. The problem is with actions.
Free speech includes speech with which you do not agree.
Posting whatever kind of crap online also helps you keep track of these loons. I'm sure social media platforms have algorithms that discover this kind of speech. Let the dummies continue to leave it out for everyone to see.
The above assumes you agree with the information put out after the shootings.
Some believe there's something else afoot. Your mileage may vary.
Related, you'll notice the official story changes here and there. The witness said 4 shooters, the press said 1 shooter. The witness said green pants, but the guy they arrested had brown pants. I am not telling you what this is, just telling you that it is. Want to check up on what's happening? Usually the truth comes out first, then gets replaced with the official narrative. Go to your phone's software store and download a scanner app like Scanner Radio. You can set it to alert you when lots of people are listening to a particular scanner feed. You can also set it to BING when local police/fire are busy. There's no manual labor involved after you set the limits to alert you. You will hear what's happening first, from the mouths of the police there.
If you're at home, go to broadcastify.com to hear anything that the app can produce. It's a good site when you hear there's a problem. Another online resource is fox10phoenix.com - they tend to have news earlier than others. Plus I like the climate there.
- If the dog wants something, she'll stand between her humans, barking urgently. This makes conversation difficult. If we throw a toy and it lands on a chair, she stands there and barks.
- There is not a single being in the house with an ounce of patience. Apparently opposites do not attract.
- Today we watched her stand still, then leap into the air to catch a bird. This works out well, because I don't have a camo outfit and shotgun to take her out huntin' with me.
In my quest to find as unbiased a news source as possible, I found a feed for Israeli news (i24). After spending 5 minutes there, I deleted it. It's not that they didn't like our president, but interviewed only people who disagreed with him, and asked questions indicating a left wing bias. After the shootings, they asked what he should do about mental health and apologizing for hate he caused. Ok, no bias there. From the questions and answers, you'd think Trump pulled the trigger at both shootings. You'd also think that no one has an original thought, instead, waiting for programming from online to tell them what to do. I just want a little unbiased news. Again, I didn't vote for him, but the rampant bias is sickening. A friend said he didn't vote for Trump, but the behavior of his opponents makes him want to defend Trump and followers. He makes a point.
I support free speech, even in other countries, even when I don't agree.
I also support stopping aid to other countries, 100%, now. Oddly, as printed here before, Israel gets the most US aid of any country. Aid and news are not related - just irony today.
Just to drive the point home, I turned on Fox news and there was a commercial for the Ark exhibit. Click.
The Boss said the meeting would topic would be Ad Hoc.
What a terrible-sounding phrase. It sounds like you're clearing your throat, which must mean it's German. It's probably a declaration of love. AD HOC, fraulein!
Now let's have a go at the Chinese: bok choi.
It roughly translates to "We must fight acrobatically, out of sync"
Bok CHOI!
watching tv...
ME: Wow, she's pretty.
WIFE: She looks like a porn star.
ME: and the problem is...?
A Florida couple experienced a small after effect of a storm, when lightning hit close to their septic tank, blowing their toilet on its side. So if you've got a septic tank or a toilet, don't swim in them during a storm.
SJW Stuff
[Coalition for Women in Tech]
White Papers are racist. [ok, I made that up, but it's not too far off]
Rosanna Arquette: 'I'm sorry I was born white and privileged. It disgusts me.'
This is a winner. I kept looking for a sign it was a joke, but no.
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