Philly Gets its Own Shooting

You saw it on the news. You caught live feeds on Youtube. You listened to the scanners. Philly's very own shooting. Unfortunately it's not a mass shooting event, with only 6 police shot (none seriously, thankfully). Here's a timeline, sorta:


Philly police went to serve a drug warrant on a man in North Philly.

When they got to the neighborhood, they were taunted and had projectiles thrown at them.

• probably the same people who say the police need to protect them from drug violence.

Police entered the house.

Man with a semi-automatic rifle let loose on them.

Police wisely use doors and windows to exit.


Perp fires out the window at random intervals.

• Street cleared of everybody but SWAT and a few police. No one hurt.

Perp livestreams on Faceyspaces.

• Because nothing happens til it's on Faceyspaces first.

No contact with perp, in spite of bullhorns and phone calls.

News goes viral - the whole world's watching.

A daycare center advises parents the kids are safe but don't pick them up yet.

Eventually the police commissioner makes the first statement. Next at the mic was the mayor, using his first sentence to call for gun control.

• Oh, sorry, Mayor Sanctuary City.. the gun was illegally obtained. Your gun control laws won't prevent this. It's already illegal to own the rifle and illegal to sell drugs. Any other agendas you'd like to go over?

Democratic candidates for president go into Gun Control Mode with the press.

• Sure didn't take them long. Again, the rifle was illegally obtained. In fact, the criminals will be the only ones with guns if you get your way. Never let facts stand in the way of an argument.

Hours later, the perp's attorney gets involved and convinces him to surrender peacefully.

• A very smart attorney who is also wise. "They won't shoot you with the whole world watching."

On the way to jail, perp falls down several flights of steps, then punches himself in the face and body repeatedly (unverified) (completely made up).


Credit to the Philly Police for lack of stormtroopering. They did not rush the house, preferring instead to talk it out first. Philly got a serious black eye during the MOVE situation. A satchel of explosives was dropped on a house by the police commissioner, taking out the house, an inhabitant or two, and the entire block. The taxpayers had to pay to rebuild the entire block. As is typical, the taxpayers had to pay to re-rebuild the block when the original construction was found to be seriously faulty.



Some libertarians say this makes a hell of a point for legalizing drugs and not tampering with the Second Amendment. Do you agree?




UPDATE: I heard a very small snatch of a press conference, possibly from Philly's governor, possibly mayor: I'm going to push the legislature to start passing laws to get the guns out of the hands of criminals.

Huh?

It's already illegal for criminals to have guns. Are you feeling ok today?