Styrofoam Does Not Make Good Underwear

Doctors are warning people not to put frozen potatoes in their anus
No, it's for hemorrhoids - really!
I ran this past Mrs lefty, who immediately agreed that this would be good for hemorrhoids. There has got to be a name for this... tuberphile?


New Opera browser review - Ars Technica
Remember - it's owned by a Chinese company

• Apple won't let bad guys use iDevices in movies.
• Suggest not letting anybody use iDevices in movies

Look - an open source Ebike!
for an open source heart attack

• Scientists find the first ever animal that doesn't need oxygen to survive
• likely found at recent debates

It's been damn near 3 posts since I roasted Mrs lefty, so I'm overdue.
After really rather a lot of marriage, I start to notice things. No one has ever accused me of picking stuff up quickly. There's a certain series of events required for sleep every night.

• Up the steps to bed
• 5 minutes later: back downstairs because some unthinking bastard (not me) did not get her a drink. I don't know about you, but there is only one thing to do when I hit the bed. Ok, two things, but we've been married a long time.
• 20 minutes later: I can't sleep. The dog keeps jumping on my head. Turns on tv, falls over, asleep.
• I'm nothing if not helpful: Maybe you should sleep in bed?
• I can't.
• Back up steps.
• 30 minutes later: I can't sleep.
• What is it this time?
• Monsters!
• There are no monsters in your room.
• How do you know?
• Because the dog guards you.
• Oh. (back up steps)
• 3 minutes later: but what if she doesn't see the monsters?
• She has a very sensitive nose - she can sniff out anything.
• I'm hungry.
• You might want to try actually sleeping, as opposed to eating, drinking, and the Pajama Parties.
• But I was hungry. (this can only mean 1 thing: crumbs in bed. on my side)
• I am sooo tired.
• You should go to bed then.
• Ok.
• 2 minutes later: boom, thud, BOOM, crash, spill, POW! BIFF!
• 20 minutes later: I can't sleep.
• What were those noises - moving furniture?
• I was doing a little cleaning.
• Weren't you going to bed because you were finally tired?
• Yeah, but stuff had to be done.
• We are now 3 hours into 'I'm going to bed' and not a single wink was had.
• Ok, it's my turn. I'm coming to bed. Honey?
• Yes?
• I'm not sure, but I don't think it's a good thing to sleep 3" over your pillow.
• I'm not doing that.
• Yes you are - I'm watching you right now.
• I don't do that anymore.
• Well then, you better tell your head that.
• Why do I do that?
• If I had M.D. after my name, we'd live in a much nicer house. Good night.
• Honey?
• Yes, Dear?
• I'm not tired.

Mrs lefty's father tortured her when she was little. She'd be upstairs and he'd yell for her... she comes down and ask what he wants. He says change the channel. So they were the first family on the block with a remote channel changer for their tv.

I mention this because I'm not done with the wife yet.
The Bed Routine extends to going out.

• I'm going out - see you later.
• Have fun.
• Yeah, right. (leaves)
• 5...4...3...2...1... knock knock
• Why it's Wife, who forgot something.
• I forgot my pocketbook.
• Yes, Dear.  
• I'm leaving again.
• Til it's time to come home?
• Yes. Why do you always ask me this?
• Never mind - have a good time.
• 5 minutes: knock knock
• It's Wife. Again. I forgot the package I was supposed to take over today.
• 5: minutes later: knock knock
• Do I have my shopping list? Can I borrow your service elephant?
• I don't know - can you? The last time you borrowed Iqbal, you left him in the back seat and he needed a service dog for a year.

Then it hits me: we are the first family on the block with a remote door opener.

The NSA's phone spying cost $100 million and yielded one major investigation.

Where else can you spend that much for the privilege of violating Search and Seizure?

• Just in case you were planning on doing any prosecuting, the wear patterns of jeans aren't good forensic evidence.
• Unrelated: 4,000 pairs of jeans for sale

• Try not to get too excited - here's the 2020 Libertarian debate

Work has procured an interesting box. I have only seen it a few times, but I log into it. This week I log in, and it tells me I'm logged out and to log in again. Why do I have to log into a box for it to tell me I'm logged out? I keep wondering if this thing says Microsoft somewhere on the box.

• It's astounding, how medical care has gone down the toilet. Just the other day, my smartass doctor revealed that he knows precious little. It turns out he had never heard of clown porn, or my personal favorite, hamster porn.
• To add insult to injury, he told me about the time he and his wife....
• No. Just no.

If I led a boring life, there would be no ThermionicEmissions.

Weather forecasts have performed their seasonal change to spring/summer. This means any trace of sun has whisked itself south, and we have one of 2 possible forecasts: gray or brown. It hasn't snowed more than a few flakes this winter. Whether this is global warming or something else, I'll take it. Meanwhile, window treatment sales in the state have ground to a halt. The People's Republic of Pennsylvania is voting on providing assistance to curtain manufacturers. People aren't even bothering to open the curtains in the morning - they can't bear to see another gray or brown. Today it's gray, with rain. If one were to describe our (alleged) climate, it would be gray, with rain. 

Usually it is guaranteed to rain on one of 2 days of the week, if not more: these would be the night I put the trash bins out or the next day, when I bring them in. This has happened, without fail, for years. If you relied on this for the weather forecast, you'd be more accurate than official weather forecasters - the only group that gets paid a lot of money to be wrong (Congress aside).

• ThermionicEmissions is proud to announce, because it just learned math, that we have been around on this platform for 9 years. 9 years. 9 years of merry hijinks, wacky adventures, hilarious misadventures, and proof that the universe really can have it out personally for someone.
• As we often say, this is simply the documentation of one oddball's descent into insanity.
• They told me to go to therapy. After 15 years, I decided to give it a try. Do you have any idea what it's like to come into an office to find your therapist has hanged himself, rather than see you for an appointment?
• Do you have any idea what this is like when it happens ten times? Perhaps therapy isn't for me. Mrs lefty suggests a different type of therapy, but it involves application of electricity to the temples and sounds painful. On the other hand, it would be the first time I've ever awakened refreshed.

Today I identify as   Elizabeth Warren

I have a lot of fun at the expense of our lives, but don't ever think for a moment that I don't appreciate Mrs lefty. She's a hero. Having suffered childhood abuse, gotten Dissociate Identity Disorder (multiple personality disorder) from the abuse, adding in horrible back issues and fibromyalgia, she's a hero to everyone around. She doesn't complain (except about me, but I would too) and always leaps out to help anybody. She's a mentor to family, because Aunt lefty is crazy, so she knows how to help the slightly less crazy. Who knows how I got so lucky...

• Bored? Really bored?  Go to Firefox extensions and add Trace. This will show you what's actually going on with the current page; who's tracking you, and helps you avoid them.

UK Spying

The UK government has voted itself a new spying bill that's positively draconian in scope. Nicknamed the Snooper's Charter, it requires providers to keep your browsing history for a year. The information will be available, without a warrant, to the Usual Suspects, plus such important State Security entities as the Gambling Commission.

While this is another step in the lack of privacy landslide in the UK, the US and other countries would be well-served to keep their eyes on its progress. The UK seems to be a testing ground of sorts for Bad Anti-Privacy Laws.

That said, this article features some really good information for everyone to protect their communications, like Signal messenger, Tor, and VPNs. Even if you're not planning to take security seriously, read it and familiarize yourself with the situation.

• In case you were kept awake at night, wondering what is the cause for male homosexuality, your answer is here. [Hint: ghosts]

I realize 2016 isn't over yet, but this headline is in the running for best of the year: Are White People Promoting Homosexuality as a Means of Undermining the Black Struggle?

• Speaking of 2016, and I wish we weren't, we bid farewell to some larger than life people in their fields: Greg Lake and John Glenn. Remember the good old days, when rock stars would die of drug overdoses? Now it's cancer. Emerson, Lake and Palmer: and then there was one.

With the rise in Utter Nonsense that is Fake News, remember this: Fake News is anything that particular person does not want you to read. The irony of Hillary warning about Fake News is strong: her administration fed Fake News to the media. In spite of this, Trump won.

• This morning I asked the dog that since he's so smart, why doesn't he let himself outside and back in. He replied that he's so smart he has us do it for him.  Can't argue.

Do you have a Netgear R6400, R7000, R8000 (go check - I'll wait). If you do, turn it the hell off and replace it or wait til Netgear releases a fix. The article linked will tell you how to check to see if your router is vulnerable. The routers look like little spaceships from some new space-horror movie, with lots of antennae.

• Important Stuff you missed over the weekend: nothing.

Remember the Colonial Theater? It's the place where The Blob was filmed. It's been totally redone and is a delightful place to see a movie or concert. They just let me know that if I'm 70 or older, my IRA distributions can benefit the theater, but only tax-deferred gifts of up to $100,000. Drat - if I were only 70 or older...

• I need to stop this entry right now for a very important bulletin: the Opera browser was split off into another one called Vivaldi. In the latest version, you can now select themes! But wait... as if that weren't enough, you can schedule the time for the theme to change! Vivaldi works on most operating systems, for your convenience.

I received an email, asking to evaluate a course I took. They asked fifteen minutes of my time. In acknowledging my time, they said that every tenth evaluator would win a t-shirt with their logo.  I was never a math star, but with their courses starting at $300, I'm thinking of holding out for maybe a t-shirt AND some pocket lint.

• Kentucky Fried Chicken, hereafter referred to as KFC (or WTF), has admitted that their Colonel's Club has suffered a breach, 'possibly' exposing 1.2 million customers' details. WHAT? Did any of us know that there's a Colonel's Club at KFC? A loyalty program for greasy, heart attack inducing deep fried grease bits? No wonder this country's in trouble.

Speaking of the Irrepressibly Stupid, the UN has declared Wonder Woman as the ambassador for empowering women. As if that weren't Stupid enough, feminist outrage stepped right in, within microseconds, and demanded a stop be put to this travesty for a few reasons: she is a fictional character who wears thigh high boots and exposed cleavage (because Mother Teresa was unavailable for the position), she is too white, closely associated with the American flag, and "not culturally sensitive." This proves that the UN is a ridiculous, useless organization (in case we didn't already know this) and that feminists are a ridiculous parody of themselves (in case we didn't already know this). Perhaps we should all get together, at KFC, and find common ground.

I learned some Good Stuff growing up. My mother did a pretty good job. In grade school, I noticed some of my friends really didn't like black people. This was confusing and low-class to us, even in our mostly white neighborhood. It occurred to me that - hey... racism is learned. I also saw a small amount of antisemitism, also flowing down, but nowhere near as prevalent as the racism. The few Jewish kids in the 'hood were sometimes harangued by the parents of their friends, although it didn't seem to be a problem in school.

Fast forward to The Online Age, where everyone you don't like is Literally Hitler. As a merrymaker, I have seen comics do really funny things with Hitler, especially Monty Python (who could make cardboard hilarious). There were a few features of his that invited poking and I do like to poke.

Everything online is obviously a reflection of Real Life<tm>, to some degree; so I see a lot of Hitler references, 99.9% of them intended to beat down someone's speech or point. With the Hitler references are the Jew references. At first they were kinda funny. Then no so much. After a while I realized that there were groups of people who really, seriously did not like Jews, blaming them for everything from retail sales issues to a secret plot to ruin the world. The 'watchdog' agency, the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), may have done some good in the past but right now they're a ridiculous parody of themselves, pointing their finger and screaming "ANTISEMITE" at everything and everyone. Kinda like the Black Lives Matter and the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Recently I've run into some really bad examples of humanity online. They don't necessarily leap out, screaming, "JEWS! JEWS! JEWS DID IT!" but they're pretty close. It's a bit unnerving being around these people, even online. I see a lot more of this than overt racism, but it might be the places I visit.

Also popping up is the White Genocide movement. These guys are also a bit different. They seem to feel that movements to let foreigners in the country is white genocide. I think. They'll be the first to say White Lives Matter (all lives matter, even the Stupid). I'm sure they have a few points in their favor but I haven't studied the platform.

My first instinct is to block these people or not visit these sites. But Howard Stern, bastion of civility, taught everyone a lesson. One of his recurring guests was the KKK Guy. Howard kept him front and center and took a lot of heat for it. In my mind, Howard exposed his enemy and kept him front and center, where millions of people could see what he was up to and realize that, yes, this ugliness still exists.  So I no longer block any of this nonsense, preferring to see it for what it is. While the ADL has become a ridiculous parody of itself, I suppose some of it bears watching (by all of us).  And of course, this will be blamed on Trump, as if he personally gave out licenses to these folks. Regardless, we enjoy free speech and I'll fight for anyone's right to it.

Watch where you hang out, virtually or in Real Life<tm>.

I Debate Your Position(s)

Reminder to change your Yahoo password. If you haven't, everybody else has it now.

• See that debate? Me either.  Useless pageantry. I can't stand the sound of two people lying. IIRC, Kennedy beat Nixon due to smoothness.
• There is a lot of arguing about who won the debate. Know who lost? The American people.

A very discrete, classy man was caught banging his girlfriend on a Greyhound bus. This is kind of the sort of thing one would expect from Greyhound, in addition to riding next to people who think they're Jesus or some other Major Religious Figure. Don't ask how I know. From the article, it's difficult to figure out whether the perceived offense is that he's having boom boom on a bus or that he didn't bother to pull her panties down. If the latter, I would argue that this is a much handier solution for a quickie on a public accommodation (or in someone's house where you shouldn't be). Of course this is all hearsay... I haven't been in this position. In fact, I haven't been in many positions, especially lately.

• The Bill Clinton Correlation: If it moves, nail it. If it doesn't move, nail it. And leave a stain to prove dominance.

Austrian customs officials found human intestines in a woman's luggage. She probably didn't know there were any laws against this sort of thing.

• In what must be a very important study, it was discovered that ants prefer morphine over sugar. As you'd expect, I'd go for sugar every time, as would the wife and dog.

If you us the Opera browser, the latest version includes a VPN.  This is a handy little security feature that will disguise your real IP address and location, as well as block tracking cookies. It can also allow you to get around some of the location-based blocking, such as the BBC allowing only UK to connect.

FINE PRINT: as the article explains, this is a VPN for the browser only. Anything else (email) you send through your connection will not go through the VPN. There's also the little matter of your data going through Opera's servers. I haven't been able to find anything on privacy policy or what/if they're examining anything. I did try it the other day and it works. Just don't go using it thinking you can hack away or Do Dirty Deeds while you're 'hidden'.

FINER PRINT: many browsers these days are based on Chrome (Iron, Chromium, Opera, and something new that begins with V). Chrome has a privacy issue, as it's Google code and it 'phones home'. Most people don't care, but naturally I do. Opera (and I believe the rest) are incredible memory hogs. They start ok then tend to suck up huge amounts of RAM over time. Ymmv but it IS a speedy little browser that accepts all Chrome extensions. I keep Firefox locked down and use Opera in a more open configuration.

• Here are 5 tools to help defend yourself online in terms of privacy. I use some different extensions but this is a great starting point. The EFF is a great resource.

Somehow reproductive scientists made a three-parent baby. What's next - group babies? Four parents and a dog? Giraffe babies bred specifically for basketball?

• Elon Musk, famous for being rich and having a very strange name and accent, announced that he wants to get humans to Mars, evenutally on a six month schedule. Mr Musk, I applaud you and have some suggestions on who to send.

Dancing with the Stars Live! is coming to a venue near me. I hope they have ambulances on hand to get help for the people slitting their own wrists.

• Dubai grounded all flights for half an hour because of unauthorized drone activity. Because it takes a special kind of idiot to fly a drone over an airport. I wonder if the special kind of idiot was us....

HEADLINE OF THE MONTH
An Australian man using a portable toilet on a building site was bitten by a venemous spider on his penis. For the second time. This dude might want to give up construction. Or Australia.

• A British conservationist is making a 4,500 mile paramotor flight following migrating swans. Apparently she has absolutely no life. Or she's married.

I have an adverse relationship with mornings.

• Once again, those wacky far-seeing fiscally responsible folks in Congress passed a spending bill. This last minute effort, as usual, will keep the government 'operating' until December. This is a new low, even for Congress. And, of course, another increase in spending up the debt.

Non-partisan political observation: the democrats are incredibly nervous about Trump and libertarians. They're bringing out the Big Guns - tv 'news', tv, newspapers, and even Mr+Mrs President. My theory is that this is good for the dems but in reality, it's being run by the Powers That Be, who are terrified of a candidate they don't own. Also, when they have to go after libertarians, things must be pretty bad for them. It's also interesting to note that things are roughly tied at this point: the 'standard' candidates can't pull off a lead. People must really be PISSED for this to happen. Regardless of candidates, this situation is good for America. People are waking up.

• Our friends over at Samsung are having a really bad year: as if exploding phones weren't bad enough, there is now a lawsuit over exploding washing machines. Perhaps all of their products should come with a fire extinguisher.

The gay pride rainbow flag has been launched into space 'to spread peace' (perhaps because it has done such a great job on the ground). Perhaps we'd be better served by launching ISIS into space.

• The latest threat facing our country is..... clowns. I am not kidding. Reports of threatening clowns are coming in from all over the country. They're getting arrested by the police. Clownphobics (coulrophobia) rejoice! I'm surprised the politicians aren't getting Tough On Clowns.

if we just change the date, it's Congress!

Getting a Really Stupid TV

Falling coconuts kill more people each year than shark attacks. Just thought you should know.

• Eye Bleach Brigade: Nursing home workers caught sharing nude patient images on Snapchat. This is a special kind of perverted (and I should know).

Internet of Things (Iot) doorbell available that will give up your wifi passwords to anyone with a screwdriver. Remember - this is what's coming with the IoT. It's a total security nightmare and I highly recommend against it until it's completely secured (40 years after you're dead and technology has found several new generations of buzzwords).

• "A country where you are fined for fishing without a license but where people cross the border without passports is run by idiots.”  Can't argue.

Joseph Fiennes will be playing Michael Jackson in a road trip movie. People are protesting (because it's so difficult to tell them apart).

• According to a recent study, teens and adults are opting for porn because it's 'less risky than actually having sex.' Has anybody told them there's a significant difference?

Dutch police kicked down a door after a report of "terrifying screams." It turned out to be a man singing along with opera. Hey, at least it wasn't rap.

• This is a very interesting and sad story about one of the engineers who tried to stop the Space Shuttle from launching and failed, after which it exploded.

Haven't you always hoped to meet your idols or favorites?
After reading a few on Twitter, it turns out that way too many of them have bizarre political views and are better off un-met (yeah, I get the irony). The Pythons are brilliant in 148 characters, though. Very witty, Wilde.

• Coldplay is twenty years old. Accordingly, I just heard them for the first time. I like to make up my own mind so I ignored all of the dissing they got from the public. After hearing one song and part of another, I realized that sometimes, infrequently, the public is right.

SELFIE TIME

• A lady on holiday in India tried to take a selfie at a tourist spot and fell 30' down a well. Fortunately she was rescued. No word on how the selfie turned out.

Since no one has died this week, Paul Kantner stepped up to the plate and left us yesterday. Kantner (74) founded the Jefferson Airplane. He had heart trouble previously and his organs kinda shut down.

• We just went past Data Privacy Day. As we know here, every day is data privacy day. The EFF has put together some info. One focus is your children's data in schools. There are many good links and the EFF is a great resource.  When you go to do something online, take a moment and this about how it might affect your privacy. We have to take care of ourselves - it's not in any company's or government's best interest to tell you how to maintain privacy (and security). If you have any questions, ask!

We all know about addiction and addicts. Crack addicts will break into houses to steal, sell their children and whatever else to get their fix. I've been monitoring and realized that crack addiction has absolutely nothing on the big one: of course I'm talking about cigarettes.  My wife is a smoker, so I have some idea of what I speak. When she goes into the hospital, a practice to which I have put a stop, the first thing I'm required to do is locate cigarettes. And maybe clothes.

So we're watching COPS and this guy is having an absolute blast, making his car do donuts. He winds up stopped, largely as a result of that old physics chestnut about two objects occupying the same place at the same time. In other words, he hit a house. The cop arrives immediately and goes up to the open window to find the airbag deployed..

COP: Sir, are you ok?
Guy: What? Yeah.
COP: Sir, can you get out of the car, please?
Guy: Can I have a cigarette?
COP: Get out of the car, please. Are you hurt?
Guy: I'm fine.
COP: I called the ambulance, have them look at you.
Guy: Can I have a cigarette?
COP: Let them look at you first.
...
Guy: Ok, I'm fine. Can I have a cigarette?
COP: I have stuff to do. Get in the car- you're going to jail.
Guy: Can I have a cigarette first?

I was half shocked and half hysterical. The wife was trying to tell me, through her laughter, that's the way it is.

And now, The Music

You may not know them off the top of your head, but everybody knows The Faces.
Rod Stewart was their front man.
Ron Wood (Rolling Stones) plays guitar.
Kenny Jones (The Who) plays drums.
Ronnie Lane plays bass. He passed from Gehrig's Disease and the ARMS Concerts raised funds for a cure.
Ian McLagan plays keys. Later he did work for the Rolling Stones and his own bands.

The link goes to a really good concert from 1972.
Check out Ronnie Lane singing on Maybe I'm Amazed. Ron Wood is playing a really cool Zamaitis guitar on this. You'll also recognize Stay With Me.

These guys groove like no other. Enjoy the show.

Android Browser Opinions

I installed Firefox on my Samsung tablet today.  I was surprised to see that it was version seven, as my desktop (linux) browsers all got upgraded to seven today.  Strangely enough, all the mobile extensions I wanted were not available with seven, with the exception of AdBlock.

AdBlock is one of my favorite and most important add-ins.  NoScript and cookie blockers run a close second.  Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be anything happening for Firefox mobile in cookie blocking.

Firefox on Android has always been a mixed blessing for me.   Firefox is my favorite browser by far, but it has been an unmitigated disaster on Android.  It's my favorite due to plug-ins, which really should be standard on all browsers by now.  But Firefox's performance on Android has been sub-par, to be more polite than I have ever been on this blog.  Even on my HTC Sensation it's slow.  It's also a resource hog.

Seven does seem a bit faster and more polished than the previous version, though, so I added some extensions and did a small amount of browsing.  One of the options is to reformat text when resizing, which I checked.  As usual, there were a few options that should never be checked by default, like remember passwords.  There is an option to delete all info on close, which should also be standard in all browsers.

The site I loaded was (surprise!) ThermionicEmissions.  Yes, you're reading it now.  Even sight-impaired people can tell that this blog is mainly text.  We are generally unencumbered by pictures, blinky lights, javascript, or sliding menus.  Firefox's performance was so-so but not tedious.  It resized a bit slowly, though.  All in all, it was acceptable.

Just for fun I popped up Opera.  ThermionicEmissions loaded so quickly it made my head spin.  While I did not time loading, it was appreciably faster than Firefox.  The site was never loaded before in either browser, so there was no danger of it being cached.

I tend to use Opera as my default Android browser and it appears that it will stay so.  I'm not crazy about the built-in browser because it feels very limited.  On my first Droid, I tried a number of other browsers, like Dolphin, but I found Opera to be the fastest.  Dolphin has all sorts of gee-whiz features but they're not so gee-whiz for me if I don't use them.

Speed is very important to me with Android, moreso after I switched from Verizon to TMobile.  If I have to wait significantly longer for pages to load, a browser is of very limited use.  I'll keep Firefox around just in case.

Now here's the disclaimer:  this is how it worked for me.  I'm what you'd call No Fun, in that I disable javascript, Flash, and cookies for safety, privacy, and speed.  Do your own testing the way that you use your browsers.  This is just a starting point.