Captivity - Day 87 Fractured Femur Follies

It's a beautiful day.
Especially for Wife, as she had to take a sleeping pill last night.
This would explain why she was up most of the night.



Andy Warhol said that in the future, everyone will have their 15 minutes of fame. He was more correct than he knew. There's a site called Cameo, where you can pay a certain amount of money and talk to a.... ummmm.... any number of actors, actresses, washed up celebrities, people you never heard of, YouTube 'stars', 'influencers', radio hosts, rappers, minor characters from tv shows, minor characters from radio shows, models, podcasters, stylists, FURRIES, and anything else you can think of. Check out who's available - even though you've never heard of them. Price varies.   Where was I going with this? It just seems to me that this is the evolution of .... something. Maybe it's setting us up for when we plug into the net with our brains. Or lack of thereof.  It also shows that gender equality is in place in sports reporting: there are a lot of female sports reporters, most are attractive. Let's see.... Andy Dick, Cheryl Tiegs, a Mr T lookalike, and more drag queens than you can shake a lipsitck tube at.  If I were given free choice of one chat, thus far, I'd choose the guy whose description is 'dog rescuer.'

Sure, I'm having a poke at these folks, but readers and the voices in my head tell me that I'm even lower on the ladder than these people.



Related: Richard Dolan (a particularly bright ufo researcher) said mass news and mass tv and mass social networks are the lowest. Also the brightest, so most people consume them. It's a mental prison.




Somebody woke the CDC, probably by accident, and it accidentally issues its latest guidelines about the Flying AIDS.



So I'm sitting at my desk, as I do at work, and I get a meeting notice at the EXACT time the lawnmowing started next door.


Clair's had a payment-card ripoff of online customers. Act accordingly.


While you're fretting about your shaky financial position, caused by the Flying AIDS or something else, know that Ukraine is being forced, by the Department of Defense, to take $250 million in the 2020 Ukraine Security Assistance Initiative.  I sure hope they survive.


Flashback to many years ago:
My musical comedy group was finally playing close to my house.
We were doing our thing, the audience was having a blast, when the lead singer went off-script, stopped the show, and put a beer bottle over my head. He asked the audience if he should pour the bottle over one of us. Unfortunately the one he asked about was me. The audience decided very quickly this was a great idea.

He subsequently poured the entire bottle over my head, which ran down my body. He was amused, the audience was jubilant, and I was..... wet.  I'm a good sport and we finished the gig.

My cohorts  razzed the hell out of me afterwards.
There were only 2 problems: the beer got all over my guitar.
Also, I smelled like a brewery. If the cops pulled me over, I sense they wouldn't believe I don't drink.....

That's show business.
Not really.


Huh?

CNN adds Greta Thunberg to expert panel on 'What it's like being black in America'

Their has been a change in the source code for android: allowlist/blocklist have been substituted for whitelist/blacklist. GitHub will replace 'master' with 'main' Feel better now?

Your Car is Racist

Things must be getting interesting in England, where candidate Boris Johnson (R-New Jersey) has just been accused of racism and stoking unrest. Gee, where have we heard something like this before?  Tune in next week for The Bizarre Hair Club for Men special.


Today in the news, there is none.
CNN is in hysterics, trying to cram everyone who has negative things to say about Trump running for re-election on the air.
FOX is overjoyed with the announcement, running clips from the rally and having a giggle at other 'news' outlet clips, every one damning Trump.

So it's SNAFU - Situation Normal, All F'd Up.

But wait, there's actually a development....
FOX has a bible study program.
A bible study program.

Well, it's their station, their clear bias, but a bible study program?
I'm certain it's trademark Fox, but putting cameras in the study says something about the network as well as the participants. If I were in that group, I'd strenuously object because cameras change things and I wouldn't want my private thoughts and feelings aired on tv (I have a blog for that - STOP IT!).

Not even an illusion of propriety.




Blighty

• Another candidate for Minister of Prime Beef is a fellow who looks like Howdy Doody, always smiling, with lips that don't entirely make it over his teeth. If he wins, how will the good people of the UK know when he is happy or sad? He'd have to hire a press secretary to report bad news because he always looks happy about it.
• Do you hear that? It was the sound of my British reader closing this site for the last time.
• The duke and duchess of TV Coveridge, Henry or Harry something, are getting praise for their work with the elderly. The other day, a motorcycle in their security detail taught an 83 year old woman how to fly. The security motorcycle hit her and up she went. What goes up came right down, and now she's in the hospital ('in hospital' in British). The duke and duchess, asked for comment, said, "The woman had a lot of nerve, being in the way of our security detail.  At her age, she should know better. We'll invite her to the palace and introduce her to the Queen's stunt double. That should keep the lawsuits down to a minimum. Oh, is this microphone on?"

645,000 clients are affected in Oregon Department of Human Services data breach. It started as a phishing expedition and an employee bit. Human engineering is a huge security hole that can't be reliably plugged. This stuff ain't new.

Dear lefty:

• Why are women of color objecting to dictionary.com's definition of black?
• Because 'words hurt'. The people complaining lack basic knowledge of language and comprehension.

“If a young Black person saw and learned these definitions for ‘Black,’ they would be unintentionally learning to hate themselves. The statement: Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words do not, is untrue,”...

Trojan, world famous maker of latex hand warmers, has a new social media campaign: if you're one of the 59% of men who are unhappy with the shape or size of your hand, comment with [hash]PrideInMine.

Yes, you can advertise to millions that your appendage is tiny and misshapen. It will also do wonders for your love life. Win/win.

• Two drones have been downed near Iran. These cost $180 million each. Your tax dollars at work.

There is a charity in England that gives out free healthcare for pets of the homeless. This is a wonderful humanitarian gesture. And I'm thinking of how much we've spent on vet care/cancer treatment....

• The Supreme Court has ruled that a large cross monument to WWI soldiers can stand in Maryland. They consider it history moreso than religion. 
• This is the Supreme Court. Aren't they supposed to uphold the First Amendment, among others? 
• Rest assured if someone put an upside down cross there as a monument, we wouldn't be having this discussion. 
• All veterans deserve a monument.

It could be worse: you could live in Horry County, South Carolina.

• We noticed an elderly lady with some brightly colored doodads on her walker. When Mrs lefty complimented her, her daughter said, "She's 102."
• We asked the lady about her secret for long life, as she was walking out of the Red Meat Emporium.
• When I make 102, if my helper announces my age to every stranger who walks by, I will run her over with my walker. And again with my car.

Note to Libertarian party members:

We have a better chance than ever to make numbers this election. We definitely dropped the ball last time. Amid calls for donations and advocacy, let's take a page from the business world: dress for success.  It kills me to make appearances a key point, but it's reality. My last search for candidates showed a broad swath, mostly dressed like and looking like a loose IT department. Let's stop looking like mountain folk and groups with cotton candy-colored hair if we want to be taken seriously. While suits don't convey ability, you had better wear one to a job interview. Why don't I knock on doors or carry signs? Because I look like some sort of rock star reject, and wouldn't want people to think this is what we are. I scare people. 

When we debate, just showing up is points. Standing next to the established party clowns should be of immense help on its own. Knowing talking points and having enthusiasm are also mandatory. Let's not repeat Gary; that was an opportunity to score big.

We should also have a VP candidate that isn't a republican and doesn't identify strongly with them in interviews and practice.

It's a long, tough road, with established parties throwing up roadblocks because they're scared of us. As our numbers get higher, libertarian points are starting to creep into the established platforms. At very least, that's where we can do some good. We're not going to win for a long time, but we're making inroads and getting heard. Now all we have to do is let half of the country know there is another party.

Be safe out there and vote FOR, not against.

Stan Stops UFO Research

RIP Stanton Friedman (84), the father of UFO research. He just retired from the circuit. We lost a great one.

Stanton was a nuclear physicist who brought science to the UFO field, first concentrating on Roswell. His firm allowed him to lecture at work and elsewhere. Did you know there are over 400 people on record regarding Roswell?

Stanton accurately described the denizens of planet Earth as a 'primitive society whose major activity is clearly tribal warfare.'

He was a funny guy, said to be quite nice, by those who met or interviewed him. He referred to people like Bill Nye and the SETI folks as Noisy Negativists, for taking an opinion based on nothing and ignoring the evidence. In honor of a lifetime of work, I suggest we rename Area 51 to The Stanton Friedman Memorial Roswell Research Center.

Read his books and check out some videos on YouTube.
Who knows - maybe he has the answers now...



Dear lefty

• How do they make oven-proof glass?
• From boron, you moron.

After a philanthropist got an honorary degree and picked up the tab for the entire class, Oprah was called out for not doing the same.

What's the matter with these people?
You're not allowed to tell someone how to spend their own money. I'm not an Oprah fan, but this applies to everyone. I think the guy's a hero, but haven't demanded anyone else do the same. Oh, wait, this was on social media. That explains everything.

Hmmmm... maybe ThermionicEmissions readers could make some demands:

• Faceyspaces' Mark Zuckerberg should donate generously to the presidential re-election fund.
• Google should send a few billion to the Electronic Freedom Foundation.
• The RNC should donate to the Freedom from Religion Foundation

The kilogram has gotten more accurate by changing what it's related to.

It has traditionally been tied to the English Prime Minister's shoe size. It will now reflect a more static value - the amount of countries currently on the moon.

• Canada is using cardboard cop cutouts to catch speeders.
• Last year, the cardboard shot 8 people - 7 more than the real police.

Let's watch some morning news:
FOX: this is the damage caused by multiple tornadoes in Oklahoma. Ted Cruz says Yale unfair to Christians... and conservatives.
CNN: We need to impeach Trump: here's a democrat to tell you about it. The president talks like a mafia boss. Maine's lobster industry is concerned because of Trump's trade war.

I want to watch news. What's happening? Did I miss something important overnight? Anything coming up? International stories? The Broken Needle Networks are worthless.



On the issue of abortion (I'm for it, sometimes mandatory), many people say that it's the woman's business, not the government's (I agree). Why, then, is everything else the government's business? Alcohol, tobacco, drugs, sex work, vaccinations, medicines, etc. Let's be intellectually honest and apply this across the board.

• After the revelation of barbaric treatment of England's mentally ill. the government has rushed into action and put together a program to stop people from jumping into the Thames River. With signs. Maybe a fence.
• Other suggestions included putting a rubber pool cover over the river, and making it illegal to jump.

Florida (we can't go too long without mentioning FL) man accused of threatening to behead another man and several police officers, then eat their tongues and eyes. 

Man apologizes. What he meant to say was, "The job situation in the country is looking up."

• Here's a feelgood headline: Flight Grounded for Hours with Body Inside After Passenger Dies Mid-Flight. I'll bet they charge him the freight rate also.

IMPORTANT:
Make sure your operating system and programs are patched. There's a particularly nasty Windows vulnerability that uses Remote Desktop Protocol (RDP). RDP allows you to connect to your pc from inside or outside of the network. NEVER EXPOSE RDP to the internet. There are other ways to access your home pc remotely. RDP has no security and anybody can hack in.

Jazz and Tyrannosaurus Sexing

I know you're afraid that your friends will think you wear thick-rimmed glasses and a pocket protector, but haven't you always wanted to know how to read a schematic?  Sparkfun has an intro. Even though there are no tube symbols, I've decided to forgive them.

Don't:

tell your buddy his girlfriend has a hardon.

at work, end all your sentences with "as ancient astronaut theorists believe".

put your penis in the pencil sharpener

park your ICBM on the lawn, facing your idiot neighbor. I know this now.

cook with Vagisil

reproduce

Dear lefty:

• Why do you call people names?
• Because you're an idiot.

I'm sick.

No, not that way.

Really sick. Physically.

It starts in the head, feeling woozy, like watching social tv.

Then it migrates to the chest, when coughing hurts.

Then you think you're better, but you're not.

Then your wife tells you that you have a fever and look what can best be described as gray. Because we are men, and need a female to tell us this stuff. This is because of rectal thermometers when we were little (which explains a lot). 

When helping with menial jobs has become an insurmountable task.

When you're so hungry but can only reach the peanut butter and jelly in one jar. Getting up to fix yourself something is unthinkable, like the tv networks airing a funny, original show. Falling off the couch presents a choice: do I haul ass up to bed? Nah, the floor is perfectly comfortable.

There's the Dayquil and the Nyquil. You've become a drug addict, with one drug to allow you to stay awake and another to help you sleep. Neither works well or gets rid of your cold. You fall asleep on Dayquil and Nyquil does nothing, but at the same time manages to taste like souffle of emesis.

The most fun is losing your sense of taste, sometimes off and on. I take revenge on myself by eating stuff I hate, like my wife's moldy ten week-old simmered socks cheese with XXX on the label. Of course once in my mouth, taste switches back on, my body spoiling the one revenge I get on it. It says something about exercise and chuckles.

I woke up this morning feeling almost bouncy. So good that I'm actually looking forward to doing the dishes. No, I am not hallucinating.

Naturally the wife told me I still have a temperature.

She said this as she reminded me we're picking up the new furniture today.

Tomorrow's installment will depend on whether or not the hospital has wifi.

• Millions of devices vulnerable to complete takeover - security cameras, baby monitors and smart doorbells. No solution in sight.

Opt out of facial recognition at airports. Yes, it's being phased in, without notification or your permission. This is the latest insult to your privacy.

Some things never change:

Eager to give CNN (if we don't like the news, we make it up) another chance, I tuned in. It took about two minutes before the president was somehow responsible for the synagogue shooting.

Not that there's any better news outlet.

• Just in case you like privacy like I do: the information of 80 million US households sat in the open, with no password, for the taking. The owner of the data has not been identified.
• Do you wish to trust idiots and incompetents with your personal information?

Officials in Montreal, Canada, are warning people to stop sightseeing and snapping selfies in flood zones. This is why we are doomed.

I Am Satan's Copilot

Why do I go far out of my way and my salary for my dog? Well, he's my dog, isn't he. That aside, he's the only one who pays attention to me when I speak. From the time we got him, in fact. Whenever I say something to him, he stops what he's doing and looks at me. Until I'm done speaking. Married with kids? You know you can't put a price on that.

• Everybody's meh dining spot, Chili's, has suffered the inevitable Data Breach. There's a bunch of words on the link, which comprise the Official Corporate Excuse. Don't believe anything you read, except for the fact that there was a data breach. They can't exactly tell you where, they can't exactly tell you how (although they have a suspicion), they can't exactly tell you who is affected, and they have the when down to a two month period. Until further notice (from them - I have other things to do), watch your card's statements carefully.
• Better yet, don't eat there. I've yet to have a positive experience in many years. One word comes to mind: wait. I've waited way too long when I was one of four people in the entire restaurant.
• This comes on the heels of the Appleby's hack.
• Use cash. Everywhere.

I have a friend (it's true). I was discussing one of my dinner specialties, Kitchen Sink Burgers, named because I put everything but the kitchen sink into them. They're so tasty, you don't need barbecue sauce or ketchup with them. Friend tells me she doesn't eat much ketchup. What kind of Merkun doesn't eat ketchup on way more things than necessary? Well, it has a lot of sugar in it and I'm limiting the sugar I put in my body. I don't want to get fat.

My friend, you're just over five feet tall, weighing about ninety pounds with soaked winter clothes and a large suitcase of a pocketbook. Is the high fructose corn syrup in a glob of ketchup going to make you blow up like one of the people on My 600lb Life? Where do people come up with ideas?

Of course my friend is a woman... I don't really need to tell you this, because you don't hear this from men....

Hey Jim- how bout a couple hot dogs with chili and extra ketchup and some fries?

Nah [sigh], I can't.

Since when can't you eat a coupla dogs and a 64oz soda?

I'm tryin to cut down.

On WHAT?

Fats.

Fats?

Yeah.

What kinda fat is in hot dogs with chili, extra ketchup, and fries?

All of it.

Dude, you told me you flew through your physical like Harvey Weinstein through a crowd of young starlets.

Yeah, I did, but my body is a temple and I have to watch what I put into it.

Jim, you're starting to frighten me. Is that yogurt in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Both.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting some doggies, post haste.

Well, I'm cutting down, so only ONE dog (with chili and extra ketchup and fries). Make it a Diet Coke instead. Gotta watch my calories too. My figure is going to hell.

• Some Google employees have quit the company over its decision to accept a government contract related to military drones. These are some pretty principled ex-employees - they're ridiculously highly paid, with benefits that would make your head spin. Want a massage at work? Free meals? Like riding your skateboard? Very quietly expensing call girls and boys? (I made that up, but....)
• Google was in the news recently, when it was discovered that they instructed HR explicitly to not hire white males. Yes, libertarians believe private companies should not face government intervention. Google also welcomes input and discussion from employees on corporate decisions (unless you're the guy who complained about the hiring policies and sent copies to the press - then you're fired).
• So you have an interesting situation when you have a huge workplace full of people who are fine with only hiring minorities (regardless of competence - that was also discovered), who are encouraged to give their input into corporate decisions. It makes for interesting outcomes. It also makes one wonder where the ex-employees expect to work, what kind of salary they expect, and if they'll demand the right to share their feelings about the decisions.

I read an article on the Nest 'Smart Home' thermostat, which left me scratching my left elbow and somewhat bewildered. According to the article, the thermostat notified some users about a data breach involving their credentials. It advised them not to reuse credentials (login, password).

This is excellent advice and couldn't be more correct.
However, and there's always a however, my internal alarm bells started to ramp up in volume.

Your thermostat. Warned you about your credentials possibly being breached. Suggested not reusing credentials.

Granted, the notice came in an email, but....
Nest spotted your password on a list of breached credentials. Because it's been proactive when it somehow steals your password(s).  Do you hear any distant alarm bells?

Faceyspaces goes out and checks to see if your password is on any lists.
To be accurate, it uses a hash of your password and looks for the same hash on public sites. No, this does not mean these automated systems smoke certain substances before going to the Dark Web. Hashing is the process of taking your password and performing Certain Mathematical Operations on it.

Giving Google the benefit of doubt, even if they are using hashes, how do they know your password? Do you seriously want your Internet of Things thermostat to listen and warn you something's up? And now Google has this on record. Someone's going on Double Secret Probation.


Welcome to the future. I have to run: there's important safety news from my light bulb.

• Guitars have been thought of as phallic objects. My thought for Jackson Guitars: there's a good reason sales aren't what you thought they'd be with the Dinky.

Diet Coke now has Feisty Mango flavor, proving that getting the marketing department drunk is not always a good idea.

• Hey, got one of those Alexas? Researchers in China and the US have demonstrated the ability to send frequencies containing commands to the device. This can happen with frequencies you can hear and that you can't hear. Yes, this is in the research stage, but don't forget: if it can be done, it will.

 Dogs are being trained to sniff out electronics, specifically USB drives. This came in handy when police used the canine to catch a hacker who was changing grades in school. I think a child who set up an official-looking page to get teachers' logins and used that to get into the system should be encouraged, in a professional sense.

The Electronic Freedom Foundation, a needed resource, assures us that the police can't simply enter your house with a dog: there is a warrant process involved and they have to be very specific. I believe the EFF. But we all know what happened with the alleged warrants the NSA needed to spy on Americans. If it can be done, it will.

• How about that Faceyspaces MyPersonality app..  all of that data from 3 million users was left practically in the open for four years.

What have we learned?

• dump Faceyspaces. Now.
• don't play games or fill out surveys with any personal information at all, online or offline, especially on Faceyspaces. Don't even list your favorite color.
• dump Faceyspaces. Now.
• don't agree to share data
• don't trust Faceyspaces - there will be more of this.

A CNN political analyst deleted his tweet that showed Trump in crosshairs. Chris Calizza said it was unintended and the result of a computer program he and his team used.

Funny - the software had absolutely no glitches while Obama was in office.

Readers, I strongly advise you to check all of your software, lest it post pictures of the president that look vaguely threatening.

• We all noticed the big news about the new American Embassy in Jerusalem. There is absolutely no excuse for this. The old one wasn't broken. More of our tax dollars squandered. Don't we have enough problems at home?

Hey - guess where the Pentagon's classified data and nuclear secrets are going to be stored... you got it - the CLOUD! Apparently the Unmanned Aerial Vehicle that hit the Pentagon on 9-11 did more damage than we thought.

• A survey finds that a quarter of Americans spend all day inside, inaugurating the term "indoor generation." As usual, I was ahead of the trend by years and years.

In society and television's Race to the Bottom, there's a new show called Extreme Cheapskates. It profiles someone, usually of means, who is... extremely cheap. They proudly proclaim it, because this is their fifteen minutes. Perhaps they can combine this with Extreme Couponers, who buy multiple carts of things and pay almost nothing. I'm waiting for Extreme Assholes, which is already partially covered in the current dumpster fire of shows. I shouldn't tell you this because of a non-disclosure agreement, but I'm in meetings with the people from Extreme Sarcasm. Like I care. Keep it to yourself, please.

• During shows, Jimi Hendrix would wreak havoc upon his equipment, especially his Marshall amplifiers, which were as tall as he was. He would approach one and start humping it, then launch himself or a guitar at the speakers. Imagine being the poor S.O.B. who had to stand behind the amplifier and hold it up while Jimi was doing his best to impregnate the other side. What did this person put on his resume? Amp Condom? Humper Stopper? Amp Support Specialist (ASS)?
• I never saw him but I miss him. He was so far ahead of his time that it boggles the mind to think of what he'd be doing today.

So there's a royal wedding coming up. One of the Royal Bastards is marrying a Merkun.  Apparently this is a Royal No-No and many Brits are not going to bother watching. I can tell you this Merkun will also not be watching. Not out of protest - because I have an appointment to chew razor blades that morning.

Remember a really nice lady called Diana, who was also not of royal blood?

woah - that's a little too far outside for me

Soggy Cocker

Happy After July 4th, folks. Check the emergency rooms for your friends and neighbors because the fireworks were flying, as well as the limbs and digits. I hope your pets were ok during the BOOMs.

• The Girl Scouts of America have announced a cybersecurity badge. To earn it, they have to hack Nordstroms or Macys and deposit their stolen booty into Bitcoin, with a receipt.

Since Marshall's pool went up, he likes to go out to do his business, then take a dip before he returns. Whoever lets him in yells SOGGY COCKER so the other one can make sure there are towels to cover his favorite spots. This tends to happen at 12am, before bed. Since he's mostly deaf, the fireworks did not bother him. Last year there was barking.

In less pleasant Marshall news, we saw some blood in his mouth and took him to the vet. It's a growth and he's scheduled for surgery and biopsy next week. Your best wishes because it's going to come up benign are always appreciated. He is in no discomfort and his behavior is absolutely normal (whatever that means).

• Out driving the other day, I noted a sign. It said "Do not stop on railroad tracks." We need a sign for this? There are actually people who stop on railroad tracks? Of course there are. Some very large law firm made a lot of money right before the sign went up.

My buddy learned something new last week: letters come back to you if you fail to affix a stamp. Life is for learning.

• We know CNN has given up any pretense of decent journalism and pretty much makes things up at this point. After the recent very silly, unpresidential Trump tweet, CNN actually managed to locate the person who made it, got an 'apology', and threatened to publish his name and info at any point in the future. This, me hearties, is blackmail.
• Would Walter Cronkite do this?
• Have they gone insane?
• This has absolutely no relation to journalism.
• With the 'detective work', CNN has pissed off Reddit, where they discovered the artist. It is very dangerous to piss off Reddit, so things should get interesting shortly...
• If this bothers you, stop watching CNN.

I tend to misbehave. I'm particularly bad at funerals and churches. And weddings, which are technically funerals where you can smell your own flowers. My buddy is an alcoholic and I volunteered to go to a meeting for support. It turns out I also exhibit misbehavior at AA meetings...

• you do not tell anyone you're powerless over the effects of chocolate
• if asked to share, do not start out with "Three nuns walk into a bar..."
• noting that meetings are the place where you exchange your alcohol addiction for your coffee and cigarette addiction is also frowned upon
• breaking out into song and sighing while looking at your watch can earn you some pretty nasty looks
• telling the story about three hookers and so much Jack Daniels that you had to be told what you did with the donkey is very amusing, but should probably wait til long after the meeting is over

My friend thanked me profusely, noting that he felt so supported that he didn't need any more support for quite a while. Sounds like win/win to me.

• Everybody's favorite network, Faceyspaces, won another one in court, when a suit was thrown out over tracking users after they signed out. The judge said the plaintiffs did not show harm or prove a reasonable expectation of privacy.
• Solution 1: do not use Faceyspaces. I know you're surprised that I'd suggest this, but we must do what we must do.
• Solution 2: the tracking takes place via cookies. Disable cookies-at least 3rd party cookies. This may make FB behave strangely (moreso) but it's worth a shot.
• Solution 3: use browser addins that aggressively block and clear cookies - especially trackers. Ghostery will stop trackers and works on most, if not all, browsers. Firefox has a Self-Destructing Cookies addon, plus BetterPrivacy
• Solution 3+: configure your browser to 'forget' history when you close it. This will remove all cookies, data, and history. It can also be accomplished by using the Private Browser Window in most browsers: the moment you close the window, all data is erased. It is important to close this window/browser or your data will be available to the next places you visit.
• FYI: cookies are tiny text files that sit on your computer, placed there by sites and ad networks. They remain after you log out or leave pages, where all subsequent sites can read them. How did one site know you looked at lawnmowers on another site? Cookies. How can they possibly know to put an ad for Tampax on a completely different site? Cookies. How is a detailed profile of you built up on Faceyspaces and across huge ad networks? Cookies. How can all of your information eventually be matched up, with income and other personal details? Cookies. Your choice.

A huge WWE leak has exposed the data of three million wrestling fans. The bad news is somewhat mitigated by the fact that most of them don't know their own data.

• You're probably asking yourself "How do I protect myself from this ransomware and malware he's always going on about?" Here are some safe strategies:

1. Don't go online.
2. Don't do anything stupid.
3. Keep your operating system up to date/patched
4. Don't do anything stupid.

Parents have been warned over exploding fidget spinners powered by Bluetooth. Yes, everything's better with Bluetooth. Related: do not get them stuck on your penis.

• Read about the Military Industrial Complex's war for our data. Article references the UK but the idea remains the same.

Shhhhhh... Amazon is Listening

So how about that Amazon Echo? The little log-like device that sits on your table. You talk to it and it can order stuff, turn on lights, change the temperature and put one of your kids up for adoption (that's entirely fabricated). This is an absolute privacy nightmare, which means it's becoming a very popular item. Remember: anything that 'listens', like Echo, Siri, and Google Voice, sends everything you say to central servers. This apparently does nothing to deter people from using or purchasing these devices - my prediction is that it will get an awful lot worse (because people are stupid).

As one should expect, the police are already interested in data from one of these devices, which was in the the house where a crime was committed. According to security expert Bruce Schneier, Echo only listens for its name, so it's not likely anything was even recorded, but Amazon, to its credit, refuses to turn the information over. It's not paranoia if it's really happening. And this technology is going to be in other products soon, like your fridge. Hey, Fridge... order us some hookers.

This technology is right out of a pair of futuristic science fiction novels.... one where you walk into your house and control everything by talking to your Little Black Box. And another where the authorities can hear everything you do and the television watches you, like 1984 but worse. How about a happy medium? Or better yet, a safe one?

• Yahoo hasn't had a major email breach announced in a week or two, so they're overdue. Right on schedule, this August 2013 breach, affecting 500 million accounts, is one of the biggest on record. These guys step right up to the plate, every time, and beat themselves (and their users) over the head with their own bat (forgive the sports metaphor). When did Yahoo turn up this breach? They didn't; it came from law enforcement last November.
• In unrelated news, related to my previous recommendation: Shut. Down. Your. Yahoo. Email. Period.

Hey, straight white guys, here's the latest info: you're generally trash! At least you are according to Teen Vogue 'journalist' Lauren Duca. Dear Ms. Duca had someone banned from Twitter, then made the above wise statement. If your teen daughter reads Teen Vogue, this is what she's getting.

• Here are ten ways to harden your Android phone's security. Simple and common sense.

My coworker is helping to Make America Great Again:

HIM: I have to update the database and move it to the portal.

ME: I thought you already moved it to the portal

HIM: Which database are you using?

ME: I'm using the portal

HIM: I do not see the database on the portal

ME: here's the URL....

HIM: that's the OLD database, not the new one I'm forwarding.

ME: We have a new one?

This goes on daily.

• Word has reached this blog that Madonna has always felt systematically repressed by the omnipresent Patriarchy. I'd like to add that we have always felt systematically oppressed by her 'music'.

Long before I had started my IT Career, such as it is, I was into electronics. Right next to the shop was an elderly lady who the owner befriended. She was hearing beeps and they sent me over to check it out. I had a feeling I knew what it was and I was right - it was the smoke detector, beeping its little heart out at one minute intervals to let the owner knew the battery was running down. I was a hero for the day and she got a new battery.

I mention this stupid story as an intro to Current Day, when I started to hear beeping from across the room.  As there are no smoke detectors in that vicinity, it was a bit confusing. In fact, more than confusing. Actually, it drove two of us up a ($&#ing tree, to be polite. The tree was full of little sticky bits, like thorns on a rose, and we were full of blood. We were also screaming so much, the dog got frightened and ran. It chirped at roughly one minute intervals. I walked to the general area of the noise to locate it. At the general area, the chirping seemed to come from a different general area. I looked like a blind person trying to locate a noise, only blind people can locate noise - I couldn't. Next up came The Wife, who, similarly, could not locate the sound. Wife seemed to hear it coming from the other direction. This caused additional frustration because of the unspoken thought that either the other was deaf or stupid or disagreeing on general principles.

Wife went into Hunt Mode. When this failed, Wife went into Throwing Mode. As it turned out, Throwing Mode was quite successful, in that it stopped the chirping. We still had no idea what caused it, but the blessed relief of no bleeping more than made up for it.

This morning it started up again. No amount of hunting, screaming, or throwing would make the noise cease or reveal its location. Our only salvation was that the noise was weaker, so in theory, the battery was draining and the noise would cease some time after our brains exploded or we had killed each other and only the dog survived. We have taken a ten square foot section of the room down to bare floor with what is referred to in corporate circles as Negative Progress. I think it's one of a small quantity (100 or so) of handheld games my wife doesn't remember she owns.

I was reminded of my otherworldly skill in making things Happen when I turned this way and that, trying to localize the infernal noise. First a series of large trash trucks went down the street. Next a huge plane flew overhead. I am not making this up.

Stay tuned for important updates.

• Love him or hate him, Trumpie is always interesting. Days before officially taking office, CNN and Buzzfeed ran a story, now referred to as Pissgate. The story, as it turns out, was a joke, made up last year by the folks over at 4Chan. In other words, Fake News.  Donald had a press conference and CNN stood up with a question. The president-elect pointed at Mr. CNN and said FAKE NEWS.  The internet was abuzz, some taking him to task over Pissgate (even after it was proven false); some lauding him for telling it like it is; some screaming Freedom of the Press!
• Let's consider that everything we hear from Mainstream Media is determined by six corporate entities - radio, print, and television. Let us also consider that the press overwhelming supported Hillary Clinton for president (proven). Let's consider that Trump is largely bypassing MSM for electronic communications (Twitter, etc). I think the man has a point.
• I didn't vote for him but his achievements thus far have been interesting. This does not mean things can't go downhill, but I'm hoping things turn out well for the country. We need to come together, lest the plan of Divide and Conquer be effective - and it has been incredibly effective to date.
• BRIEF ADDITION: Rudy '911' Giuliani has been named Cyber-Czar. I had no idea Rudy had any security experience at all, but he has an information security consulting firm. The website is run by software that's years out of date and quite hackable. Let's be fair: Rudy didn't put the site up himself, but...

The Consumer Electronics Show (CES) is here. This is a Really Big Deal, as manufacturers flout their wares, showing off their New Stuff. Industry people, news, and Just Plain People get to see what's coming.  This brief overview, by Twitter use Internetofshit, has some spectacular examples. My favorites are the solar charging hat and the bone conduction speaker/personal neurofeedback device. This should explain all those people who hear voices.

• Apparently there is a gender gap in information security. I will pause for a moment, while you figure out which gender is underrepresented... People are working to bridge this gap, including a non-profit called CREST. Because we really don't care about security - we just need more internal plumbing.
• When we are done fixing this problem, perhaps we can convene a worldwide special interest group, that will work to tackle this issue as it pertains to guitar players. The working motto is "We need more vaginas, not more boobs."

Poop Everywhere!

Got a pet and a Roomba (automatic vacuum cleaner)?
Apparently you can be in deep doo-doo if the machine runs over pet poop (or any other poop, one would imagine). In one case, it spread the poop all over the house. This is the main reason I love blogging.

• CNN has admitted to shorthanding ('creatively editing') the clip of the dead Milwaukee man's sister. The edited version said, "Call for peace." The original version said, "Go burn down the suburbs, not our local businesses." CNN apologizes.

Liz Cheney won the primary for the US House seat her father held. She is reported to have her own heart but does evil run in families?

• After what must have been an unnecessary lawsuit, a New Jersey driver can now order his 8THEIST license plate. His suit claimed religious discrimination because the Motor Vehicle Commission had approved a plate that said, "BAPTIST." Why are we even having this discussion?

Eight female Egypt state TV anchors have been given one month to lose weight before being allowed back on air. Perhaps they have had some consultants in from Fox.

• At her 58th birthday party in Havana, Madonna danced on a bar. Ambulances and life support stood by. Go ahead, call me a hypocrite.. sure, most of my favorite musicians are in their 60-70s.

A Malaysian oil tanker was 'not hijacked' despite earlier reports. Because it's really easy to get confused between 'hijacked' and 'not hijacked'.

• Unwanted pet goldfish are growing to the size of footballs in Australian waters. If they don't get eaten by the giant unwanted pet alligators, we're all in trouble.

I don't have a ton of good (or bad) things to say about Taylor Swift, but she just donated $1 million to help Louisiana recover from the flood. Hats off for your humanity, Taylor.

• The BBC News reported a study on the rising number of Islamophobic posts on Twitter.  Islamophobic is defined as anything negative about Islam. Not slanted at all, is it? Hmmm.. did they study the elections? I'm sick of them - if I tweet this, am I fraudophobic? If I tweet something bad that a gay guy did, am I homophobic? (ok, bad example). I really can't stand the Olympics (Zikaphobic), Social Justice Warriors (WhiteGuiltphobic), or Kim/Kanye (ok, that's just normal). Then there's concert prices (ServiceChargephobic), bad drivers (idiotphobic), and loud coworkers (deafophobic). Might as well give up on Mainstream Media (Agendaphobic), as if that's news.

Best headline of the month:

Police to search Bath park today for more dismembered feet


 Here's some readable tech stuff:

• 5 back to school tips to help kids stay safe online. Share this with children and adults you know. Avoid sharing it with kids you don't know - people tend to get upset about this.

If you're planning to install some spyware on your husband or wife's computer, things are starting to get 'interesting' in the courts. A US court has said that a man can sue a spyware company whose software was used unlawfully by a jealous spouse to intercept his messages. This is a significant case and should be watched. Don't you like it when I get all legal?

• So that DNC hack? It was investigated and determined, as in the press, to be Russian hackers. One of two hacks proved the Russians were inside the network for a year.  This is not partisan politics, folks... this is Serious Shit<tm>. If they're inside the DNC, where else are they? Answer: safe to assume most places.

Need a little light, amusing reading? Here's what happens when your work computer is full of large amounts of porn and it needs a little bit of repair...

So tell me - what's it like, being thrown through the windshield? No, we haven't called an ambulance-this will look great on the news.

Should We Continue Business as Usual?

OBAMA APPOINTS MONSANTO'S VICE PRESIDENT AS SENIOR ADVISOR TO THE COMMISSIONER AT THE FDA

Considering the fact that Monsanto just bought Blackwater, we may soon be the United States of Monsanto (by force?).  Again, it's incestuous.  Look at the appointees and long-term government employees.


Homeland Security Monitoring All Journalists & Social Media Users.  And they'll be saving the data, in case they can get you for something later on.

You got it, folks.  Big Sister will be keeping all of your social media data and it's perfectly legal.


Airport Screeners to Be Monitored for Radiation

Your memory doesn't have to be too good to recall Big Sister saying how the xray machines at airports represented absolutely no threat to the operators or victims forced to walk through them.  The xray machines that were strangely ready to go into all airports as soon as Big Sister mentioned them....


Hundreds Threaten Suicide At Microsoft Supplier Plant In China

Define `extreme cruelty'.  
At first I thought they were being forced to use Windows (I'd threaten suicide too).  No, they were demanding a wage increase.  Foxconn and China may have something to teach us after all....  and it will no doubt show up in your Xbox purchase.


Ron Paul News

CNN’s Ron Paul Reporter Admits Bias: “Worried” About Paul’s Success

You mean they're not fair and balanced, like Fox?

Does the Establishment Media Fear Ron Paul?

Is it mostly rainy in England?


Ron Paul won second place in New Hampshire.  This is his second finish in second place.  Remember that when you hear that he's not electable.  Remember that Paul's positions have been consistent over his time in office; they have not waivered or flip-flopped.  You know exactly where he stands on any issue, regardless of how you feel about it.  Try that with any other establishment politician.

Obama is a grave disappointment but not a shock.  He is simply Bush in a darker shade.  The fact is that Ron Paul does not represent the establishment, like the others.  All of these clowns are establishment pawns, ready to do the bidding of their corporate masters at our expense.   This is why the mainstream media barely mentions his name - they're terrified.  All sorts of groups are terrified and I see that as a good thing.  Voting for anyone else in the false republican/democrat paradigm is a wasted vote.

No one is perfect:  I disagree with Paul on abortion (he's against it).  He's a Conservative Christian.  We make the strangest bedfellows, yet I think he's our only hope.  He will uphold the constitution and he's the only one who will.  Bush and Obama continued the dismantling of our sacred document, right by right, chipping away with the aid of an impotent and corrupt Congress.  Romney is another lapdog who will continue the game.  Newt bends whichever way the wind blows (not to mention his failed Contract with America) and Santorum is religiously addled, among other things.

In Iowa, Paul owned the thirty and under vote.  Independents changed their registration to republican so they could vote for him.  He raises huge amounts of money and has serious internet support, which you will not hear about in the media.


Don't vote for the lesser of evils: vote for our country and our rights.

Poli=Many,Tics= Blood-Sucking Insects

Rick Santorum's nephew has a few things to say.  He is wise beyond his years.

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What happens when you do a background check on CNN?  You find out all sorts of interesting things.  Background checks used to be done by the media.  Now the media is merely the lapdog of the Powers That Be.

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Speaking of lapdogs, the president threw a lavish costume party but we didn't hear about it because it might send the wrong message.  The press knew but failed to inform us.

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What's in a name?  Ask Vermin Supreme, who seems to have some sound ideas on presidential elections.

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TSA defends Icing-gate

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Rick Santorum nominated accused child molester Jerry Sandusky for a congressional award.  Did the press miss this?   Guess.