It's Always Monday Somewhere

Due to all the recent cyber-emergencies, I want to keep you up to date and aware. I get many alerts about problems, from pretty stuffy places that send email, with words like 'cyber', 'government', and 'security.' Today I received quite a helpful-looking email, with links to some very good information. Now hold onto your hats here.. it's from CERT, a government entity. All set to provide these links to you, my readers, I clicked. 404 - nothing here, go f- yourself. The second link froze my browser, and the third also gave me a 404.  So much for useful info. Is there any wonder we see government stereotypes?

• Guitar Players: great news! The Martin D-28 Authentic 1941 DTS has been discontinued. The guitar, which sold for $6,899, is being blown out at $5,500 (a bargain at half the price). So get out your pennies and head over to the guitar store! This is called very. Dry. Satire.

Our car went away for repairs a while back. Ever since, the cd changer has been uncooperative. Since certain things seem like rocket science to other members of the household, I decided it was time to take a look. Like most other things in life, it was recalcitrant. It refused to load a disc. It refused to spit out a disc. It refused to go to the next disc. It did play the radio, without fail and immediately, so there's that.

Sigh.

Because I work my ass off and all of the money goes to the vet or people healthcare, we don't have a new, nice car or set of them. The 'new' car is quite a few years old (running perfectly), but was the year before AUX inputs came out, so I can't plug my phone into the stereo and make music appear. I purchased quite a number of those cigarette lighter adapters that transmitted sound to the radio. Every one of them was either bad out of the package or a piece of garbage. Finally I found a highly recommended unit, which mostly worked but flopped around a bit and randomly connected and disconnected. Car rides with me were not particularly pleasant when this adapter decided to malfunction. Not that they're pleasant when nothing malfunctions....

Eventually, as all things go, someone dropped a safe on the adapter and it went to Adapter Heaven, leaving us with only broadcast radio. Do you remember the horror of broadcast radio? One really horrid classic rock station, one oldies station (that's starting to play music you grew up with!), one current-ish rock station, seventeen sports stations, Jesus Radio, and two talk stations. You'd think there would be at least one or two decent choices there, but you'd be horribly wrong.

Since I don't have a bomb-proof suit or one of those under water bell diver getups, I can't get behind the dashboard to release the stereo from its bonds and work on it indoors. I still have nightmares from doing this in the eighties, when you could reach back and play with wires. Cars were so big, you could hide yourself behind the dash. So it's either Live With It, or pay hundreds of dollars for a replacement that will look like Frankenstein's Monster when installed.  

At least it will have an AUX input.

• Everybody's favorite manufacturer (Microsoft) of everybody's favorite operating system (Windows) was hacked (in 2013) and apparently 'forgot to mention it' til today. No matter.. it was only their bug database. Yes, some of the information was used in subsequent attacks, but that information could have come from other sources. For more bullshit, denials, and misdirections, you can read this article. Or do like me and skip to the next paragraph.

Philadelphia is starting to realize taxing sugary beverages might not have been the best idea. In an informal study, the majority of merchants are claiming revenue drops due to the tax. Some claim people are going to the suburbs for soda, then realizing they might as well just do all their shopping there. The mayor, in typical deflecting fashion, said the study didn't mention the positive effects of the tax. People voted for this buffoon.

• It's not that public figures have no privacy, but the Duchess of Cambridge's (Kate) due date has just been announced.  It's a good thing the queen nixed the publication of her menstrual cycle and when Prince William was scheduled to get randy.

If you have Gmail and are very serious about security, enable their new "Advanced Protection".

• the Bias Response Team at Evergreen State College banned criticism of Black Lives Matter. 
• Hang on - there is a Bias Response Team? 
• Hang on - speech can be censored at a state college?
• Hang on - I am not a lawyer but a state college is a state institution and cannot censor speech per the First Amendment. Your tax dollars are supporting this.
• Hang on - you are not allowed to criticize an organization that has been described as a terrorist organization, that assaults people, calls for the death of police, and riots?
• This is a sad example of the state of the country at this moment. We will look back and shake our heads with embarrassment.

Finally some great news: the FBI announced that 84 children were recovered in a sex trafficking crackdown across the US. No mention of elected officials, so we still have to wait for that to hit.

• This week's best headline winner: Morgue Worker Arrested After Giving Birth to A Dead Man's Baby. A little research turned up that this was copied from a spoof article on a humor website. I was wondering about the physics of this act, like you, only you don't want to admit it. It's ok, it'll be our little secret. Would it be rigor mortis? Somehow I doubt it.

Know what I love about my dog? His new habit of demanding things when I sit down to eat. It starts with heavy panting. Then half a whine while panting. Then full out whining. If that doesn't do it, he will sit by what he wants and bark once. I blame his mother for this behavior.

• Hyatt Hotels have been hit by another credit card breach. When you check in, they now ask if you'd like a WiFi Hacked room or a Complimentary Credit Card Breach.

Just when you finished typing the week's best headline, another pops up: College removes weight scale from gym after students call it 'triggering'.

Yay! pictures again. Marshall the cocker and Marshall the amplifier

2016 Fall Philly Guitar Show

As it is written, we battened down the hatches, battened up the car, and got off to the Philly Guitar Show, Fall version. As is traditional, is it held nowhere exactly near Philthydephia. Also traditional is making that stupid location reference. Ah, where would we be without tradition?

For health (and sanity) reasons, Mrs leftystrat could not make the trip (she had to wash her hands and couldn't leave for a few hours). The weather was just at the point where a jacket wasn't necessary for us over-padded medium-size manly men. That strange light was in the sky again.

The state has always done interesting things with the roadways in Pennsylvania, the PA Turnpike and Rt 422 being real Standouts of Stupidity. Although PA residents aren't actually sure of WHAT the state does with roadways, we are assured and reminded via almost monthly increases in tolls. Just to make things a little more interesting, the use of EZ-Pass combination tracking device and toll payer is being Highly Encouraged, in the form of many EZ-Pass lanes and a diminishing number of cash lanes. The turnpike exit in question (I am not kidding - this is the butt of jokes nationwide) is King of Prussia. The area has undergone such a ridiculous amount of growth that there have been many road-surgeries to widen ramps and install more toll lanes. This creates yet another excuse for Bad Driver Behavior. There are about fifteen lanes, fed by several distinct ramps, which causes people to veer, cut off, and race at high speed to any of the jumble of strangely-plotted EZ-Pass or a few cash lanes. The only exceptions to this are at rush hour (5:30am - 6pm), when it's the largest parking lot in the state.

Naturally, the exit from fifteen toll lanes boils down to two actual lanes, thus weeding out the men from the women, the children with BMWs purchased by their parents, and any 18 wheelers that can't accelerate fast enough. And people going to guitar shows. Hopefully you took the correct ramp, because if you didn't, you will simply never get to your destination or home. You'll be doomed to wander King of Prussia for several years, or until the next State Improvement that will take five years to build a small ramp that is already overcrowded when it is opened (like all roads in the area).  While you're lost, all roads may or may not lead to the King of Prussia Mall, one of the biggest in the country. Also one of the strangest, due to an asymmetric layout, where the first floor isn't set up like the second floor, plus there are actually three malls joined together by a caterpillar the size of Rhode Island.

Eventually you may or may not stumble onto Rt 422 West, so-named because it doesn't go east. Well, at least until you come home. The state was much more subtle about improvements on 422. Here, to keep attention away from the unbelievably poor condition of 2 two lane highways, they simply installed bumps every few car lengths. Who is going to comment on a few Cadillac-sized holes when your ride goes BUMP..BUMP..BUMP. It's sheer brilliance in a way that should qualify for an award at the National Alliance of State Stupidity Awards. I was passed by a very loud Harley with two very loud riders, straight out of Central Casting. They were mad that I was only going 20 over the speed limit. Seconds later they completely disappeared, probably into a hole under a bump, where they have to keep paying rising tolls every day.

Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Opening the main doors is fun - you never know what you're going to see. Whatever you see, it's great because this is the damn guitar show; two times a year that I'm likely to have left the house and seen guitars and amps and Stuff. Drop a few bucks in the Greyhound Rescue hat. They always bring a dog or two and they're beyond mellow for dogs that have been thrown out after they're no longer useful for racing. Support your local dog rescue group - all of ours have been rescues.

There were lots of things to see and try out, which was a great improvement over the summer's deathly feeling. All vendor spaces were occupied, including some surprises. You could see all kinds of vintage guitars, incredibly vintage guitars, celebrity-owned guitars (Danny Gatton, Johnny Winter, etc), amps, effects pedals and even a few new things and cheap stuff for beginners. There was a really popular guy who had unfinished guitar bodies but also small (6") bodies, hollowed on top to put picks or business cards in, as well as guitar-shaped cutting boards. Accessories galore.. handmade leather straps, garish straps (my favorite), colored strings, and very interesting people.
 Word to the wise: go for fun. If you go to purchase something, know what you're looking for and what it's worth.

Let's get down to some good old-fashioned visual stimulation, or , as I call it, Guitar Porn...

this is a 1956 Telecaster in mint condition - 3rd year for Teles

yes, it's backwards, but if I had one, it would be in this finish exactly

DHR is a large lefty dealer, which chose to only bring a few non-standard guitars

Danny Gatton (RIP) Fender prototype

1979 Les Paul - weighs more than my car but a hell of a player

1979 Rick 4001 bass

very old Gretsch, maybe a Chet Atkins model

newer Martin - a little stiff

very used Martin

ever been frightened to be near an amp? even before you saw the price? This is more of a megalith than an amp. Orange/Matamp stack.

Reverend had a ton of guitars, plus a pair of lefties. Good value, good guitars, just not for me.

saw a number of Taylor 314s. As a rule, they play better and have better top end than Martins.

a Fender '52 repro Tele, unlike the American Vintage series '52 Tele, also half the price. I'd still go with the the American Vintage for the baseball bat neck.

Last but never least is my dog, Marshall (aka Muppet Paws), and the amplifier named after him (Marshall Code 25).
They both shred but my Marshall shreds tissues.
They both scream but my Marshall screams for people food and dog cookies.
Marshall the Amp is covered in black tolex. Marshall the cocker in black fur.
The amp has a 10" speaker. The dog has two large flaps covering his ears.
We are unsure about getting him an endorsement from Marshall Amplifiers but hope for at least a cover shot and story.
Missing from the shot is a 1974 Marshall half-stack, formerly on tour with UFO and possibly Robin Trower.

And there you have it - the show, minus most of the backwards (right-handed) guitars, which comprised 99.5% of the show.

Left Handed = Left Out When Guitar Shopping

I hadn't been to Guitar Center in months.  I don't get out much and I can only stand so much disappointment, no matter how much I crave it.  So yesterday I stopped in on my way by.

Most of the Guitar Centers I've been to have a section called Lefty Land, with all the lefty guitars and basses hanging in that area.  Yesterday I noticed Lefty Land had been moved.

Looking around, I spotted three lefty electrics on a wall.  One of the Helpful Guitar Center Salespeople asked if he could help and I asked where all the lefties went.  He pointed to the three guitars on the wall.

I was amazed.  I explained that I didn't think it was possible to have fewer lefties than the last time I was there, but Guitar Center went right ahead and let loose the shock and awe.

He giggled.

Whenever I ask for something lefty at a music store, after the person gets done telling me no, he always inserts `something helpful'.  It's usually something along the lines of `we could order that for you'.  This time it was `you should talk to our repair guy, who has turned a lot of guitars around.'

If I wanted a backwards guitar, I'd have asked for one in the first place, doofus.  If I wanted to order something sight-unseen (and unplayed), I'd have asked for that too.

And yes, I understand economics.  I know that guitar companies can't viably afford to make everything in the line lefty and I know why there's an upcharge (except for Martin).  I also know why stores can't stock a ton of lefties.  But if salespeople keep telling me customers are looking for lefties, why aren't they stocked?  Does Mr. Guitar Center get an electric shock every time he orders a lefty?  Is there some sort of pain involved with servicing the left-handed population?

It reminds me of the Monty Python Cheese Shop sketch:

Do you have lefty Strats?
No.
Do you have lefty Teles?
No.
Do you have lefty Gibsons?
No.
This must be the finest guitar store in the world.
Why?
Because it's certainly uncontaminated by lefty guitars.



Funny, though.... there are thousands of guitars in the store....



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That having been said, I saw an incredibly cool Fender color called Chromium Blue or something to that effect.

I went looking for the Electro Harmonix pedals I keep seeing online.  Zero.  Zip.

And the acoustic section had a pair of cheap lefties.