I hadn't been to Guitar Center in months. I don't get out much and I can only stand so much disappointment, no matter how much I crave it. So yesterday I stopped in on my way by.
Most of the Guitar Centers I've been to have a section called Lefty Land, with all the lefty guitars and basses hanging in that area. Yesterday I noticed Lefty Land had been moved.
Looking around, I spotted three lefty electrics on a wall. One of the Helpful Guitar Center Salespeople asked if he could help and I asked where all the lefties went. He pointed to the three guitars on the wall.
I was amazed. I explained that I didn't think it was possible to have fewer lefties than the last time I was there, but Guitar Center went right ahead and let loose the shock and awe.
He giggled.
Whenever I ask for something lefty at a music store, after the person gets done telling me no, he always inserts `something helpful'. It's usually something along the lines of `we could order that for you'. This time it was `you should talk to our repair guy, who has turned a lot of guitars around.'
If I wanted a backwards guitar, I'd have asked for one in the first place, doofus. If I wanted to order something sight-unseen (and unplayed), I'd have asked for that too.
And yes, I understand economics. I know that guitar companies can't viably afford to make everything in the line lefty and I know why there's an upcharge (except for Martin). I also know why stores can't stock a ton of lefties. But if salespeople keep telling me customers are looking for lefties, why aren't they stocked? Does Mr. Guitar Center get an electric shock every time he orders a lefty? Is there some sort of pain involved with servicing the left-handed population?
It reminds me of the Monty Python Cheese Shop sketch:
Do you have lefty Strats?
No.
Do you have lefty Teles?
No.
Do you have lefty Gibsons?
No.
This must be the finest guitar store in the world.
Why?
Because it's certainly uncontaminated by lefty guitars.
Funny, though.... there are thousands of guitars in the store....
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That having been said, I saw an incredibly cool Fender color called Chromium Blue or something to that effect.
I went looking for the Electro Harmonix pedals I keep seeing online. Zero. Zip.
And the acoustic section had a pair of cheap lefties.
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