This Blog Needs More Diversity and Inclusion

Some guy on tv is arguing that more diversity is needed in government, to celebrate a large pool of skills and foster inclusion.

He went on to say he bases himself on Martin Luther King.
I'm not MLK's biographer, but my understanding is that Dr. King wanted black people to elevate themselves, not be given preference because of their color.



ThermionicEmissions would like to thank the president for not bombing Iraq. Or Iran. We predicted the warmongers would win and thus far, they haven't. We need to eradicate constant war and focus on Home.




Entertainment News

• Led Zeppelin's legal team will be headed back to court over the charges they stole the intro to Stairway to Heaven. The last trial was set aside because the judge didn't give the correct instructions to the jury. The forty attorneys for the Zep expect their side will do well.
• There is a new Adam Sandler movie.. but who cares?

Florida News

A Florida man was arrested after dancing naked and "trying to have relations with a railing" at McDonald's. McDonalds now serves aphrodisiacs?

A Florida man told deputies the cocaine on his nose was not his.

An Uber driver's ear detached during a fight at a Florida airport.
Spontaneously?hot

Philly News

A Philly woman was fatally stabbed in a dispute over a parking space.

This is normal in a city that believes triple parking is a God-given right.

Dear lefty:

• Why do so many young ladies post naked pictures of themselves on Reddit?
• To answer the question accurately, I will need the exact locations of the pictures.

As I type this, the 90 year old neighbor is mowing her lawn. Again. Weekly.

I should probably feel bad I have to be forced to mow mine every few weeks.

We tried to get a service to do both lawns, but she says she likes mowing. Somehow, the list of things I want to be able to do when I'm 90 does not include mowing. Hell, the list of things I want to do now doesn't include mowing.

90 - wow.

I know someone who found out, overnight, he was going into hospice due to  cancer. What do you say in this situation? We don't deal well with death as a society to begin with...

After a period of deep introspection, I decided we need some up to date greeting cards

• Sorry You're Dying
• Sorry I Gave You Herpes
• Can I Have Your Girlfriends (When You Die)?
• Sorry Your Social Media Accounts Got Hacked
• I Love to Sing (at funerals)

Hallmark has not responded to my suggestions yet.

Speaking of death and introspection, there will be an auction of the late Burt Reynolds' possessions soon. The items range from credit cards to boots to his one-off Camaro for the Bandit movies.

You and I are nobody (I think). We are extremely unlikely to see our Stuff auctioned after we go wherever we go, if we go at all. 

Think about it: somebody had to go into his house and collect these things. 

Would you want your entire life to be auctioned off upon your passing? ("I won't care" is one acceptable answer.)

What kind of Stuff will be found post-mortem?

Your collection of 1970s Playboys

Farrah Fawcett and Kim Karsdashian posters

A drawer full of condoms, way past their expiration date

The chair you farted in for the last 30 years of your life

Your collection of belly button lint (from others)

27 small hard drives full of 1980s porn

43 used socks

The password to your Faceyspaces account

It's damn creepy, from the point of view of the living.

It also raises way too many ugly philosophical questions.

• I have a lot of trouble remembering things said to me yesterday, but I can identify some of the officers on LivePD by name (including the dogs).
• I have a lot of trouble remembering things said to me yesterday, but

Why is it that we can't bring a 4oz bottle on a plane but you can walk through our southern border?  Apparently Security Theater does not apply across the board...

Don't you want to kill me?

Questions - We Have Questions

Does Down Syndrome affect black people?

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Don't you think that, sometime before Beaver College changed their name to Arcadia, the cub scouts would rename the Weblos?

Funny story, that.  

For some reason, I found myself in the cub scouts.  And I was apparently a Weblo, which was pretty funny even then.  I don't remember getting much from the experience but there I was.

One day they decided they were going to clean up the trash in the woods by my house.  The area was used largely for drinking and partying by older kids and was an unholy mess.  Along came the Appointed Morning, Saturday, and my alarm was going off at eight a.m.  

I found myself at an existential crossroads at that moment.  But like a bolt of lightning, it hit me: I was not an altruist (in its most pure form).  If I had bothered to drag myself out of bed and assist in the cleanup, the entire area would be dirty again within weeks.  This wasn't what I wanted to do with my free time, especially the free time I spent sleeping on weekends.  I promptly phoned in my resignation from the `Blos'.

Now for the irony:

I work for a social services non-profit.  One would be correct to inquire as to how my lack of altruism found me working at this sort of place.  Most people work there due to their beliefs or altruism.  Don't tell anyone but I work there because they accepted my resume when I needed a job.

One of the activities my socially-minded workplace engages in is cleaning up the crack park on Martin Luther King day.  And the following year, to celebrate, they go out and clean the crack park again.

I did not know Dr. King.  I didn't spend a lot of time reading up on the gentleman.  But I believe I know enough to understand that he was for education and lifting one's self up, not cleaning up drug paraphernalia year after year.

Needless to say, I do not volunteer for the effort.

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Say lefty - is exercise as bad for you as you always say?

For some, exercise may INCREASE heart attack risk.

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So why does radio suck these days?

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A present: Sofia Vergara spot.

For my birthday, I simply asked for Mila Kunis or Sofia Vergara.  I ask for so little - and that's precisely what I got.

Wives typically don't have a very good sense of humor (except mine: she married me).