Due to my love affair with the couch, I seem to be attaining a soda belly. It's not my fault.. I'm not doing anything different.
Wife brings me some fresh cupcakes. I thank her and remind her, for the fourth time this week, that I'm trying to cut down.
"SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE?"
After that, she went to visit my parents. Mom was taping flowers to the wall.
This is not a good thing. Mom would have ordered special flower mounts, not used tape.
It's just another day.
- Saturday: 80 degrees. Sunday: 40 degrees. Monday: 4 hour flash flood warning. Tuesday: raining carburetors.
It's a sad thing to have to admit, but I never saw Led Zeppelin live. I did, however, catch the solo tours of Page and Plant immediately after. Page's doubleneck guitar got a round of cheers as it was put on its stand.
Everyone seems to be up for a reunion except Plant. It's difficult to form an opinion on this.. I want to see Led Zeppelin, as do millions across the globe. Plant's reasoning is that he doesn't want to be a best-of act. Understood, but if you do new material, you're not a best-of act. Meanwhile, his solo career is going well. I've seen a few concerts online and his band is in fine form and the songs are good. They even slip in a reworked Zep tune here and there. Recommended.
What's bothering me at the moment (as opposed to what's bothering me in general or specifically at any other moment) is something about Plant's solo career.
I don't even know what it is. Recently I discovered some live shows from the early 80s. I was there, front and center, at the hockey stadium. For whatever reason, it became very important to listen to the concert and collect more. The music came back to me. I remembered the riffs and where everything went, including stuff I didn't remember I remembered. And then I had my fill.
Don't you know that I came across another old concert and some rehearsal material and listened for a bit. Now the songs are whirling through my head again, like one of those amusement park rides that...
whirl. It is said that music recalls another time and place. I certainly don't feel like a different time or place. I feel good tunes. Regardless, they're back again and I'm enjoying them.
It's just that I always have to know why, which makes life frustrating.
- England recently held the BAFTA Game Awards. Yes, an awards ceremony dedicated to video games. Next year, the Hand Mixer Awards air for the first time. I, for one, can't wait.
If you log into your Yahoo or AOL email (if you still have AOL email, there's little that can help you), you'll see a new privacy and terms notice. In light of the Faceyspaces scandal, they want you to know they're reading your email, and will most likely share it with Verizon, their parent company. Full disclosure is wonderful, isn't it? Don't you feel better?
Speaking of Faceyspaces, Techpinions did a survey on 1,000 people, of which 9% said they deleted their accounts. I'm trying to figure out if this is a good thing or a bad thing. If the numbers hold, it's a pretty significant thing. To reach 9-10% of Faceyspaces users usually requires the personal invitation of a Kardashian. Or meth. While this number is significant, I'm bothered it wasn't higher. THANK YOU, SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?
Speaking of Faceyspaces again, they just deleted over 100 private discussion groups that have been facilitating identity fraud and cybercrime on the platform for years. Faceyspaces did not discover the groups by themselves. The whole operation would've been quick and efficient if someone complained that the groups were hate groups, run by right wingers.
- Many Android device manufacturers are not telling the truth when they say they have patched phone vulnerabilities in new updates, researchers found. Fortunately I have nothing to worry about, as my carrier is too stupid to update anything and can't even tell me if I'm going to get the next version of Android.
- Reminder: put black tape or something solid over your laptop or tablet's camera. It's no longer something just us tin foils do... Zuckerburg does it too.
Are you a T-Mobile customer?
They just got hit with a $40 million FCC settlement by using fake ringtones. When you'd call someone out of range, they'd play ringtones, making you think the other party was hearing the phone ring. This was banned in 2014. Ever wonder where the settlement money goes? Certainly not to the affected parties.
- Russia is attempting to ban the secure message app Telegram. You know you're doing well when a country's leader wants you blocked.
- ThermionicEmissions' strong recommendation is to use Signal. It's available for all platforms.
David Buckel, famed gay rights lawyer, set himself on fire in New York to protest the use of fossil fuels. In a statement, the nations of the world pledged to stop using fossil fuels immediately. I sure hope he didn't use an accelerant.
- It is of no matter that there are gays in the NFL. What does bother me is that the Social Justice Warriors (SJWs) are starting to get by the detectors. NFL player and activist Terry Crews said:
- “People have to understand that masculinity can be a cult, and when I say cult, it’s not different from David Koresh, it’s not different from Jim Jones,”
Is this some sort of Halloween joke, where he dresses as a football player but in reality is some crazed uber-feminist with green hair? The cult of SJW is large and strong now.
A substitute teacher in the Philadelphia school district has been suspended for allegedly hitting first graders.
That's one way to teach respect early on...
Speaking of Philthy, Mother Nature was booked yesterday for drunk driving. There was a line of coke on the dash and a speedball in her pocketbook.
- A college in California (of course) is hosting a No Whites Allowed pool party. Can you imagine a college hosting a No Blacks Allowed pool party? There would be riots and calls to burn the school down.
- The invite stated only "people who identify as POC" permitted to attend (person of color).
- No problem. I identify as a person of color. And a fire engine! Vroom vroom - wooooooooooooooo!
A few days back, there was an incident in a Philadelphia Starbucks, that has no doubt gone around the world. The only facts not in dispute are that there were two male People of Color. The employees told the men they couldn't use the restroom if they weren't paying customers. They called the police, who escorted them out. Both the police, who were on camera, and the mayor state that the police did nothing wrong. The POC are claiming racism. Starbucks has apologized, letting a POC spokesperson deliver the news. Philly's Groups You're Supposed to Apologize To are apoplectic, saying that they will not accept Starbucks' apology.
The mayor will meet with Starbucks, along with his HR Helpers in case of Unconscious Bias. Starbucks will force sensitivity training. It's good that the mayor could take time away from soda taxes and his great work with his sanctuary city.
Unconscious bias. What a great term! Is racism losing its effectiveness?
Later that night, in a Philadelphia row home:
Dad, I learned about racism today in school. It's terrible. I'm not racist, am I?
No, son, you're not overtly racist, but we have to consider that you might be unconsciously racist.
What is uncongslee racist?
Well, you could be racist and not know it.
But Dad... how can I be racism and not know it?
Err... you could have a tiny little racism gene, waaaaaay down inside.
Well how do I know?
That's why the school district says everyone has to take unconscious racism training.
[crying] But Dad... I'm NOT a racist!
I know, Bobby, but you have to trust the training.
Will it tell me if I'm racist?
Um.. not entirely.
Then why do I have to take it - you know I hate tests.
Because everyone is racist, son. Unconsciously at least.
Who says that?
Human Resources departments.
How do they know?
Because... uhhhh.. they were told so.
By who?
Industry people. Mostly lawyers.
Do lawyers know if you're racist?
No, lawyers know that it's bad publicity to not look like you're doing something, plus people of color will blame you for being racist.
So I might not be racist unconshly?
No, but they invented the term just in case.
Dad, what's white privilege?
SHUT UP AND GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
Thank God for the federal government. Without their intrusive nannying, it's a wonder any one of us is still alive. The
FDA has banned the sale of caffeine in bulk quantities directly to consumers. No, seriously. They said it could lead to injury or death.
Still no word on aspartame, or the thousands of other things they approved that can cause injury or death. Next week, the FDA will ban water, because too much water can kill you.
Look up hyperhydration or water toxemia.
If any of you can snag an interview with Ben Franklin or Thomas Jefferson, can you ask them about this? I'm pretty sure their intent was to allow citizens to make their own mistakes.
- The Pentagon has turned loose a $5.1 million contract to a cybersecurity to identify illness in its soldiers via their smartphones. SARGE - hold your fire - I need to send a text!
- The phone's camera, microphone, and motion sensors will be used 'to keep tabs on deployed U.S. service members.'
- The ACLU said there just might be some privacy issues here.
- What kind of pussies work at the ACLU? Just because the government will soon have the ability to monitor your 'health' by turning on every sensor your phone has, doesn't constitute a privacy problem.
- I call BS. They can already turn on the sensors. This is just preparing us for the announcement. Even if you don't believe me, you can still see it happening, right out in the open.
That Damn Cartoon Music
I've been a
Frank Zappa fan for as long as I can remember.
And why not? When you put a song like
Yellow Snow near a teenager, it's bound to happen.
I had no choice but to dig deeper into the catalog. I liked more and more of his music. The first album (yes, album) I got was The Mothers, Live at the Fillmore 1971. This quickly became a favorite, playing over and over, even though I had to get up to flip the record every time. Aside from the very interesting musicianship, the thing that got me was the fantastic interplay between the singers, Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan. Only later did I learn they were The Turtles (Happy Together, actually performed on the album), aka Flo and Eddie. These two were hysterical and worked incredibly well together and with the band. Of course Frank rehearsed them to the edge of their lives. It was a huge production, and I wanted to see that live. Alas, this was a small part of Zappa history, without a ton of video I could locate. This was also before the internet [SHOCK and AWE!].
The theme of the album was being a rock star and traveling all over the country, meeting and trying to bed groupies. Between the hilarity was instrumental bits that were kind of interesting. Not the usual masturbatory guitar solos I listened to normally. Frank was a great guitar player and a complete 180 degrees from anyone else who played. He played for as long as he wanted, and it was interesting all the way. The instrumental bits were not all guitar solos - he had other interesting things happening, but not too weird... just slightly out in his own neighborhood.
Do you see why I never got called to write reviews professionally?
It's a good thing, too. Whenever I read or hear a review, I always wonder if the reviewer and I listened to the same piece of music. What I heard as ear-piercing howling, the reviewer referred to as 'the wide range of the lead singer's voice'.
In any case, further explorations into Frank's catalog turned up a few more hits and catchy bits. And even more strange, out there compositions. I refer to them as compositions because that's what we was: a composer. Yes, he had songs, but some of the stuff he did was beyond explanation; way too complex for my young ears to grasp. So I left the compositions there and enjoyed the Joe's Garage trilogy.
As I matured musically (who the hell am I kidding - I matured in nothing and remain the same genial hardhead I was at 16), I went back to the complex stuff and found I had an appreciation for it. Mind you, this is the music that parents and girlfriends call Cartoon Music, because it's very busy, fast, and jumps around a lot. It's also impossible for most rock musicians to play, but I appreciated the hell out of it. Mrs leftystrat, not so much. Since she processes things differently, it's too busy for her. Having read Vonnegut, especially what read like time travel, it confused the hell out of me. She said it was perfectly understandable to her. Oh well... if we were the same, there'd be no fun in it.
In listening to the more complex stuff, I gained an appreciation for what must've been involved, and composition in general.
I sure as hell couldn't do that.
Try it out for yourself. A ton of his songs appears on YouTube. Funny stuff and cartoon stuff. Also a series called Shut Up And Play Your Guitar, which is, as you'd expect, only instrumental. If you like the music, please purchase it to help his kids, who are split into warring factions.
- A blind guy goes kayaking in the Grand Canyon. Fortunately he's not crazy enough to do it himself: he takes a guide who knows the area like the back of his hand, as well as his team, which stays in touch by radio. You know what happens next, right? There's a sudden disturbance in the water, a reinforced fiberglass paddle snaps, and the kayak turns over, trapping him in the water. The guide, I mean.
How's Marshall?
He went for his followup visit at the acupuncturist the other day. She's very pleased at his progress. His lesion has shrunk significantly! We're beyond thrilled.
Think about this for a minute. The doctor thoroughly examines him, sticks a few needles in him and sends him home with some Eye of Newt and Stuff, and he's doing better in two weeks, maybe sooner. What does this tell you about chemicals?
Possibly to detract from getting well, his behavior has gone down the loo. He has successfully taught his mommy to walk him on command. Marshall has his own yard, so he can do whatever he wants. But there's something about his leash that makes him happy. Starting at two or three in the morning, he whines, very quietly at first, then ramps the volume and pitch until she gets up and does what he wants. Since he discovered she will walk him, he now sits by the door and whines. He trained her faster than he could ever be trained. To be fair, we never know whether the pitiful whining is pain or manipulation. My wife, bless her, lets me sleep because I have to work. Plus training me could take years.
As we know, I'm always late to the party.
HOW LATE ARE YOU?
I'm so late that I didn't know Barry Manilow was gay until last year.
THAT'S REALLY FRIGGIN LATE.
I didn't realize the power of my own dog.
When he went to the acupuncture doc, she and her assistant were oohing and ahhing over him, saying no way he could be 13-14 and he has a puppy face. The doc asked if it was ok to take pictures of him.
Ok, but I'm not going to be a stage parent.
The regular vet practice is also incredibly fond of him. We take him when we're just picking something up and the multi-doctor practice goes on hold until everyone has come out and said hi to him. He's a celebrity.
On twitter, people follow his progress. One fan said if she lived here, she'd steal him.
That dog has more mojo than Dr John. If I ever needed a date, all I'd have to do is stand near him.
I can say, completely objectively, that he's a tremendously good looking cocker.
And some sort of furry therapist... he brings out all sorts of things in people.
Who knew?
