SJW Linux

I saw something on Twitter last night which gave me the douche chills. It looks like the Social Justice Warriors are trying to infiltrate linux. After further research (I read the next tweet), it appears that Linus (Torvalds, Mr. Linux), the hard talking, hard cursing, hard time king of linux, is getting tired of the demands of SJWs. He apologized for his hard time style, his angry antics, and for not having a more pronounceable name.

After getting over the initial shock, additional research (the next tweet in line) showed that Linus has gotten a lot of crap from SJWs, including in-person threats. With his careful verbiage, I think he either got sued, or is trying for a new job.

With that out of the way, I introduce SJW Linux, the new distribution created by force, intentionally made for the underrepresented victims of The Patriarchy. What is The Patriarchy, you ask? It's anyone who doesn't agree with the SJWs, conveniently, including women (except any non-CIS hetero women or women who identify as oppressed minority victims of The Patriarchy). Or men who think they're going to get some if they act like they have no genitals. Just kidding - all men are disposable. And anyone who has taken a look at the SJWs could not be forgiven for wanted some from them. Unless you like grossly overweight women with green hair who think everybody wants them.

This particular blog entry may fall short for the average Windows user, but I'll try. My linux user will really enjoy it.

Without further stuff like the above, I give you SJW Linux....

• The command kill will only be valid if followed by Trump or White Privilege, CIS, male, or patriarchy, 
• The command man will be deleted completely, unless used as kill man.
• cd, (change directory) now means crossdresser. No one knows what this command will do, but only members of The Patriarchy question SJWs.
• chown, (change owner) now refers to giving all permissions to The Matriarchy, which is owed reparations for poor treatment by those with White Privilege.
• date, (set date) is now any non-binary outing of the oppressed.
• less, (view file contents) is now representative of what SJWs have traditionally gotten from The Patriarchy, which entitles them to whatever they want.
• locate, (locate) finds the current reason they are owed something by some oppressive group.
• ls, (list directory contents) lists a random tweet to respond to anyone who says anything disagreed with by someone who identifies as at least 41 of the genders.
• rm, (delete) see kill man.
• who, (who is logged on) now lists who is oppressing us today.
• top, (system resources) is also dead because every SJW is equal (although white males, and people who identify as white males, are not).
• ssh, (log into a different machine) is now 'shush and don't disagree with me.
• touch, (create a file) what CIS heteros will never do to me.
• awk, (find and replace text) changes all instances of man to woman.
• bash, (a shell) deletes any text that disagrees with our mission (mission to be determined).
• echo, (display on screen) hooks up between 2 + 100,000 computers of any genders who all agree with the mission (mission to be determined). Always created online.
• false, (do nothing) anything typed by CIS white males, to be deleted
• jobs, (list active jobs) useful work done by the computer, as opposed to the user
• shutdown, (shut down) goes online, creating a lot of noise, stops any discussion with which we disagree.

You can download this distribution at any site that treats all people equal (except CIS Hetero Males and all members of The Patriarchy, who oppress everybody). Although all linux distributions are free, this one will collect a mandatory donation of $25 and distribute it to worthy organizations which fight all forms of White Privilege.