Moo Goo Gai Guitar

My office has a fan. My living room has air conditioning. This means the dog has air conditioning and I don't. Which one is smarter than the other?


University ordered to stop running women-only job ads.
Yes, it's discrimination.


It was a few hours before work ended. I was tired. Not the end of day tired - this was full-blown Heavy Nappy Time tired.  The kind of tired where your pot of coffee needs a pot of coffee. Your neck muscles get a heavy workout, just keeping your head up. You're lucky to fake that you're awake.

As 5 o'clock approaches, you find you're actually more awake. This is an entire science that you don't want to bother with - take my word. Wouldn't this be better sponsored by NASCAR?

It's a wonderful day here in Pennsylvania; it's 90 degrees, with 80% humidity. Much nicer than yesterday. We're waiting for lefty to leave the office and the crowd is louder than normal. I see the office door opening, and it's lefty. The crowd gives him their typical fart under the armpit salute and he's taking an early, unscheduled pit stop. It looks like something from our sponsor, Snapple. A smart napper trusts his crew but checks anyway: yes, the air conditioner is on. The couch is free, the wife is out, probably shopping, and the coast is clear.   The crowd starts getting louder as he approaches the couch.

Jim, this is the most recent approach to the couch we've ever seen.

He's got the couch in his sights- the look on his face tells it all...

Eh, Richard Petty had a look on his face when he had to go to the bathroom.

He has shut the living room lights off and removed the dog from the couch [crowd cheers]. The temperature is just about right for this kind of napping.

Interesting fact, Jim... this is what was thought by the 17th Soviet Antarctic Expedition, led by Yevgeny Korotkevich.

lefty stopped to pick up a single piece of debris - looks like a sale flyer from a shoe store. Or a dog toy. Moves a cushion over to make a comfy pillow and it looks like he's good to go. [major crowd noise]

Eh, Jim, it's a fact that spaghetti is not Italian - it's Chinese.

He's taking his special Side Sleeping Position, which drives the crowd crazy. He looks like he's finally resting and... oh no.. it's the phone. lefty developed an almost eerie ability to ignore the phone because Mrs lefty likes to leave it by his head when she's not in the room, or the house.

The phone was invented by Alexander Graham Bell, also the inventor of Graham Footballs, which didn't go as well.

The crowd whispers in hushed tones, as lefty appears to be drifting off yet again.... BANG BANG BANG - yes, it's the door. Someone's at the door. No, we don't need any windows, of any type, thank you.

Back for his 3rd time, this looks like it could be the one! The crowd stares intently. LOOK - he's going for the flat on the back technique! The roar of the crowd can be heard in California (where the governor has banned crowd roaring). Wait.. his breathing is slowing.....

Jim, my wife won't sleep with me.

In spite of his left leg twitching like Jenna Jameson, he's OUT! Yes, he's asleep.
The crowd certainly got what it came for on this hot and humid day, like all the other hot and humid days. lefty planned on 30 minutes, but from the looks of things, it's going to be closer to an hour. His crew is waiting with the Snapple and some chocolate chocolate chip cookies. His couch is clear, except for the dog, who's sleeping on his head, and his wife is still out shopping. Come back next week for the lefty 500, in which lefty sleeps the entire night through. They said it couldn't be done.

Jim, what's this red spot here????




What you need to know out the airborne transmission of COVID-19You need to know that airborne Flying AIDS is this week's PANIC item and again, they have no idea what they're doing. It can fly, then it waits by your door for you to come out and play again.


Ringo Starr is 80.
Ponder that.


Odd Justice:
Mary Kay Letourneau, who raped and became pregnant by an underage school child, went to jail. She had another child with the child, whose friends wore his hands down from slapping him 5, and has died from cancer. We can't decide whether it's divine retribution or she knew Jeffrey Epstein.



SJW Silliness Anew

Oracle sued by a shareholder who alleges its lack of progress in diversity amounts to 'dishonesty'

When Facebook says you're not a good 'culture fit', it means you're not White or Asian enough – complaint

Joe Walsh - Analog Man

I'm a big Joe Walsh fan from way back.

It's rare to find a rock star who shares so many of my passions: tone, tubes, lunacy, ham radio, guitars, and writing.  It's also rare to locate a writer whose melodies stick inside my head in a forever kind of way.

We haven't heard any solo Joe since 1992's Songs for a Dying Planet, which would be our loss.  Joe's back with Analog Man, which was, of course, recorded digitally.  The title refers to being an analog man in a digital world.  There's a great line about having to ask a ten year old how to operate something.

Joe has loosely joined the extended Beatles family by marrying Ringo's sister-in-law (or something like that).  Ringo appears on two tracks.  But nothing says Beatles like being produced by the Invisible Beatle, Jeff Lynne.  Usually Jeff's sterling production is stamped all over the songs in a very sonically apparent way.  Fortunately this is not the case here.  Don't get me wrong - I like Jeff Lynne as a musician, writer, singer, and player.  And occasionally a producer - he has done some great work.  One Day at a Time is pretty heavy Jeff.  The combination of the acoustic guitars and too heavily compressed clean guitars leaves no room for guessing.

So what's new?  Joe has stopped drinking.  You can tell from the song titles and a bit of listening that he is a happy ex-drunk: Family illustrates this well but not in an over-the-top way.

I got on the mailing list so they notified me that today was the official release.  Joe himself will be appearing in New York, but unfortunately at an Apple store.  If I go anywhere near an Apple store, I may melt and don't want to take that chance.  My browser broke last time I had to go to apple.com and I'm still trying to clean out the smoke.

What I'm looking for from the new release is the same thing I'm looking for from any Joe Walsh music: some tunes that will not leave my head.  Melodies that get stuck and will be replayed forever, like Indian Summer and At the Station.

Want some familiar, radio-friendly Joe?  Funk #50 would be your tune, complete with hooks you might already know.


Joe: thanks for being part of the soundtrack to my life.  Stop by when you're in Philthydelphia (no dates scheduled) or drop me a line.  We'll talk tubes and you can try to convince me to learn code  :)