My office has a fan. My living room has air conditioning. This means the dog has air conditioning and I don't. Which one is smarter than the other?
University ordered to stop running women-only job ads.
Yes, it's discrimination.
It was a few hours before work ended. I was tired. Not the end of day tired - this was full-blown Heavy Nappy Time tired. The kind of tired where your pot of coffee needs a pot of coffee. Your neck muscles get a heavy workout, just keeping your head up. You're lucky to fake that you're awake.
As 5 o'clock approaches, you find you're actually more awake. This is an entire science that you don't want to bother with - take my word. Wouldn't this be better sponsored by NASCAR?
It's a wonderful day here in Pennsylvania; it's 90 degrees, with 80% humidity. Much nicer than yesterday. We're waiting for lefty to leave the office and the crowd is louder than normal. I see the office door opening, and it's lefty. The crowd gives him their typical fart under the armpit salute and he's taking an early, unscheduled pit stop. It looks like something from our sponsor, Snapple. A smart napper trusts his crew but checks anyway: yes, the air conditioner is on. The couch is free, the wife is out, probably shopping, and the coast is clear. The crowd starts getting louder as he approaches the couch.
Jim, this is the most recent approach to the couch we've ever seen.
He's got the couch in his sights- the look on his face tells it all...
Eh, Richard Petty had a look on his face when he had to go to the bathroom.
He has shut the living room lights off and removed the dog from the couch [crowd cheers]. The temperature is just about right for this kind of napping.
Interesting fact, Jim... this is what was thought by the 17th Soviet Antarctic Expedition, led by Yevgeny Korotkevich.
lefty stopped to pick up a single piece of debris - looks like a sale flyer from a shoe store. Or a dog toy. Moves a cushion over to make a comfy pillow and it looks like he's good to go. [major crowd noise]
Eh, Jim, it's a fact that spaghetti is not Italian - it's Chinese.
He's taking his special Side Sleeping Position, which drives the crowd crazy. He looks like he's finally resting and... oh no.. it's the phone. lefty developed an almost eerie ability to ignore the phone because Mrs lefty likes to leave it by his head when she's not in the room, or the house.
The phone was invented by Alexander Graham Bell, also the inventor of Graham Footballs, which didn't go as well.
The crowd whispers in hushed tones, as lefty appears to be drifting off yet again.... BANG BANG BANG - yes, it's the door. Someone's at the door. No, we don't need any windows, of any type, thank you.
Back for his 3rd time, this looks like it could be the one! The crowd stares intently. LOOK - he's going for the flat on the back technique! The roar of the crowd can be heard in California (where the governor has banned crowd roaring). Wait.. his breathing is slowing.....
Jim, my wife won't sleep with me.
In spite of his left leg twitching like Jenna Jameson, he's OUT! Yes, he's asleep.
The crowd certainly got what it came for on this hot and humid day, like all the other hot and humid days. lefty planned on 30 minutes, but from the looks of things, it's going to be closer to an hour. His crew is waiting with the Snapple and some chocolate chocolate chip cookies. His couch is clear, except for the dog, who's sleeping on his head, and his wife is still out shopping. Come back next week for the lefty 500, in which lefty sleeps the entire night through. They said it couldn't be done.
Jim, what's this red spot here????
What you need to know out the airborne transmission of COVID-19You need to know that airborne Flying AIDS is this week's PANIC item and again, they have no idea what they're doing. It can fly, then it waits by your door for you to come out and play again.
Ringo Starr is 80.
Ponder that.
Odd Justice:
Mary Kay Letourneau, who raped and became pregnant by an underage school child, went to jail. She had another child with the child, whose friends wore his hands down from slapping him 5, and has died from cancer. We can't decide whether it's divine retribution or she knew Jeffrey Epstein.
SJW Silliness Anew
Oracle sued by a shareholder who alleges its lack of progress in diversity amounts to 'dishonesty'
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