Well, not really, but she's probably the only one, especially in Kentucky.
Kentucky has some sort of strange affinity for tractors, especially mixed with alcohol. I am absolutely truthful when telling you this. The Kentucky state sport is drunk tractor racing. Today there was a new spin on an old theme: the police were chasing a man on a stolen tractor. I lived in Kentucky before I could remember. My parents said we had to leave because we had all our teeth and people was lookin at us funny.
- The Kentucky Tractor Factory Meeting will take place the 6th Sunday in February - bring something stronger than Jack Daniels. Sign up for classes on evading cops while pickled. At the end of the day, there will be prizes for the best ride while passed out.
- The Dan Quayle Kindergarten class invites you to bring your tractors by for a tuneup. This week's special is one of those hats that holds 2 cans and you stick the tubes in your mouth. Don't drive without them!
- The Women and Children's Benevolence League is petitioning the city and state to widen all roads, so it's more difficult to crash when riding a stolen tractor.
- The Kentucky Bourbon Association is holding trials, and is also on trial. They are studying how fast a drunk Kintukkyin can go on his tractor while passed out.
- Tesla is working with Kentucky to automate tractors, so they can continue to run, long after the operator has passed out.
- The state of Kentucky is carefully considering gambling. People will be able to bet on which tractor wins the race on Friday nights.
You think I'm kidding, don't you......
NO LIVES MATTER department
Aren't you glad we're back?
If you're at Verily Life Sciences and were expecting a spot bonus, you're outta luck. The money went to fund diversity and inclusion initiatives.
Walmart stops selling "All Lives Matter" t-shirts.
Reparations bill gains steam...
You know it's only a matter of time til some Congressman gets caught saying, "They're only gonna blow it on crack and Thunderbird."
Since Code Green has broken out, I went to Wendy's dot com to see if we were allowed to walk in. That information was not present, nor was much about the food, but there was a huge ad about what Wendy's is doing for black people. Today's hot job is inserting "BLM" into the front pages of web sites.
I like to sit and think... if you sit and think, these sites translate to "Please don't burn our businesses down, black people and white supporters." Didja ever think you'd see that on a web page? Pretty soon there will be BLM banners in the stores.
Still no "Left Handed Lives Matter".
Mrs lefty is... well... let's say no one in the house, dog included, is the pinnacle of grace. We call it Elephants in Tutus. It's amazing that any of us can walk in a straight line without tripping, falling, soaring, and tripping over objects that aren't there. Aside from the physical injuries, it takes its toll on jewelry. Mrs lefty is... how do I say this... hard...difficult with... dangerous... she's rough on jewelry. I don't want to say this is a problem, but if you put motorcycle chain around her neck to hold a pendant, within a week the chain would be broken. In truth, we can blame some of it on the dog(s). What dog isn't happy to see their mommy, jumping up to say hi, and ripping the chain right off her neck. We are no longer surprised when this happens. We have a huge pile of ex-jewelry because jewelers don't want to work with exploding silver (sissies). The huge pile is disheartening because there's at least another half pile missing. I watched her go outside and a necklace simply burst open, spewing chunks (STOP IT) of stones all over the sidewalk. Maybe it was the exploding silver again.....
I just threw out the (clean) diaper. Still, no one knows how it appeared. Dog's not talking. How come needed stuff doesn't just appear?
Tom Seleck is on tv sellicking reverse mortgages, with teeth that are threatening to leap out of his mouth and maybe dance a bit, when they realize they're on tv.
Reverse mortgages are a very difficult concept to grasp. A regular mortgage is when you pledge your life to rich bankers for a house. A reverse mortgage is when you pledge the rest of your life to rich bankers.. See - I cleared that right up for you. All you missed was the interest, of which you have none.
If you're at Verily Life Sciences and were expecting a spot bonus, you're outta luck. The money went to fund diversity and inclusion initiatives.
Walmart stops selling "All Lives Matter" t-shirts.
Reparations bill gains steam...
You know it's only a matter of time til some Congressman gets caught saying, "They're only gonna blow it on crack and Thunderbird."
Since Code Green has broken out, I went to Wendy's dot com to see if we were allowed to walk in. That information was not present, nor was much about the food, but there was a huge ad about what Wendy's is doing for black people. Today's hot job is inserting "BLM" into the front pages of web sites.
I like to sit and think... if you sit and think, these sites translate to "Please don't burn our businesses down, black people and white supporters." Didja ever think you'd see that on a web page? Pretty soon there will be BLM banners in the stores.
Still no "Left Handed Lives Matter".
Mrs lefty is... well... let's say no one in the house, dog included, is the pinnacle of grace. We call it Elephants in Tutus. It's amazing that any of us can walk in a straight line without tripping, falling, soaring, and tripping over objects that aren't there. Aside from the physical injuries, it takes its toll on jewelry. Mrs lefty is... how do I say this... hard...difficult with... dangerous... she's rough on jewelry. I don't want to say this is a problem, but if you put motorcycle chain around her neck to hold a pendant, within a week the chain would be broken. In truth, we can blame some of it on the dog(s). What dog isn't happy to see their mommy, jumping up to say hi, and ripping the chain right off her neck. We are no longer surprised when this happens. We have a huge pile of ex-jewelry because jewelers don't want to work with exploding silver (sissies). The huge pile is disheartening because there's at least another half pile missing. I watched her go outside and a necklace simply burst open, spewing chunks (STOP IT) of stones all over the sidewalk. Maybe it was the exploding silver again.....
I just threw out the (clean) diaper. Still, no one knows how it appeared. Dog's not talking. How come needed stuff doesn't just appear?
Tom Seleck is on tv sellicking reverse mortgages, with teeth that are threatening to leap out of his mouth and maybe dance a bit, when they realize they're on tv.
Reverse mortgages are a very difficult concept to grasp. A regular mortgage is when you pledge your life to rich bankers for a house. A reverse mortgage is when you pledge the rest of your life to rich bankers.. See - I cleared that right up for you. All you missed was the interest, of which you have none.
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