Do Not Compute with Fruit

Welcome, fans, to Covid Tennis.
The idea of the game is to introduce a new 'fact' every day. Extra points for weird cures and bizarre facts.

Socially distance.
Go to concerts.
Wear masks.
Go to restaurants.
Joe Biden wears a mask to bed.
The CDC warns of darker times this fall (when the clocks get set back?)
White House orders hospitals to bypass CDC and send data to it.
This drug cures it.
That drug does nothing.


This device keeps Alexa and other voice assistants from snooping on you. There are also lists of words that 'mistakenly' trigger Alexa. One is 'semprini.'

Speaking of which, Google is being sued for tracking you, even when you opted out. You may have turned off "Web & App Activity" tracking, but Google is tracking news, ride-hailing, and other apps. They also watch your wallet, car, and kids, via a token with a special cloaking device that would make the Klingons jealous.

Germany ruled that Tesla's 'autopilot' is misleading.

Well, when you activate autopilot on a plane, it flies without your input and makes decisions for you. When you activate Tesla's autopilot, you're likely to crash and die.  I think Germany might have something there....

Solution in Search of a Problem department:

Sized socks. Yes, sized socks. From the people who brought you socks with toes, no doubt. MOMMMMMM - I can't wear these socks - they're not correctly sized. I wear a 7 and Bonnie wears a 6. She stole my 7's.  Mom: remember the good old days, when socks were adult or child? Male or female? Hangnail or talon?

A lady's cat has taken to bringing home swimming goggles, as gifts for her owner. This is the kind of feel-good story we need in the midst of the Flying AIDS. Unless you use swimming goggles around Bristol, UK.

AMD's latest CPU chip is called Threadripper.

Rejected names: Ovary-Ripper, Intestine Stealer, Face Smasher, Anal Invader

Territorial acquisition games are fine when they're called football and on tv. They should never involve the bed. The odds are stacked against me because there's a Mrs lefty and a Penny. Last night I had about 6" of sleepable space. I put up a barrier, but Penny slept on my side of it. They're obviously trying to toughen me up by sending me to work with little space and little sleep.

April 15th, July 15th, who cares?
Yeah, it's time to tally everything up and feel sad at what has been taken from you in taxes.
First you'd have to remember it's the 15th.
Then you'd have to remember where your envelopes, pencils, crayons, and tax software are. Along with your nerve pills.
Has anybody seen the tax papers? I GAVE THEM TO YOU.
Remember that form I had to research and have reprinted? Have you seen it?
So, aside from the TinyTax software, you can't find a single very important paper. You can't call your boss at 11pm to ask for a copy of your W2. Well, you can, but it won't reflect well on your next review.

CHECK UNDER THE SOFA. Yes, Dear, I did. I checked so many times, the sofa is on the front lawn. The crazy lady would call the police, but when you're 441 years old, you have to go to bed before 11. HOW ABOUT IN THOSE MOUNTAINOUS PILES OF PAPER YOU CALL FILING?  Nope. Not there. I sent the dog in to sniff for them. Has she come back yet? What about that bin that says VERY IMPORTANT PAPERS? No, not there - these are Ultra Important Papers. Oh.

Hey, have you noticed it's 20 minutes to deadline for filing?
Let's go online. Maybe we can get an extension.
Oops, you need an account. You need an account to blow your nose online.
T minus 15 minutes.
WELL I GAVE ALL THIS STUFF TO YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT?
I obviously ate it. W2's have lots of really good fiber. Check the toilet.

HEY, it says here that you don't need to file for an extension if Mercury is in retrograde, your couch is out front, and your dog might be missing.

Let's start again tomorrow!
YAAAAAYYYY!

this is why there are blonde jokes