The Light That Shines Only on Hillary is Gone

Thankfully for Philadelphia and the US, the DNC has packed up and left. Now Philly can go back to its normal gridlock and infighting.

• Pope Francis fell over the other day at a function and required help to get up. The staff here at ThermionicEmissions hopes he's in good health. We're also thankful that when he fell, he did not land on a little boy.

John Hinckley, the man who tried to assassinate Ronald Reagan, will be released from the Happy Place<tm> to his mother's custody. It is rumored that if anyone says, "Polka Dot Dress" to him, his face goes blank and he tries to kill Donald Trump.

• A new debate asks what's the right age for a child to get a smart phone. My informed answer is 53.

A 17-year-old says he is "overwhelmed" after Celine Dion shared a video of him performing one of her hits. The audience, however, stared in mute horror.

• There are an awful lot of people claiming Donald Trump is a racist. Think about it for a second.. this is a guy whose primary interests are himself and his money. I don't think he has time to be racist.

Got an android phone with MS Swiftkey keyboard? There was a slight glitch the other day, where autocomplete was providing suggestions of things never typed or in different languages. Oops. There was a problem for people using The Cloud to back up their settings so they could be shared across devices. Swiftkey turned off cloud replication and email prediction. If you have an iDevice, you're only affected if you opted in to The Cloud.  

     1. Don't use MS anything.

     2. Don't use The Cloud.

And while we're at it, if you have an iDevice and use WhatsApp, your messages are not being deleted securely. This is a problem, as 'professionals' with forensic software can read the messages. Of course, if we're using WhatsApp for secure communication, we have other problems.  Copies of the database are stored on your device and.... wait for it... in The Cloud.

• An Australian sex survey names 33 different genders. How many did you think there were?

This election is historic for many reasons:

1. people are PISSED, resulting in a wildly non-standard candidate with no experience, whose every utterance is fodder for amusement

2. the other major candidate is a proven liar and criminal

3. 2nd party candidates are viable for the first time

4. a newspaper published provocative pictures of a potential first lady

5. a group has emails purporting to result in removal of a major candidate

6. the husband of one candidate was impeached and will nail anything that can't run fast enough

7. the press is concentrated on Minor Bullshit, further Dividing and Conquering

No one could have predicted this. Hold on for a wild ride.

• My wife's phone picked a really bad time to stop sniffing glue. By this I mean she can no longer plug the charger into the phone. HINT: do not force cords into holes. This advice is important for phones, guitars, and, of course, sex.
• With 2% battery left, she picked a bad time to start thinking about backup and restoring data. Fortunately the very aware person at her phone store suggested wireless charging, which worked perfectly. There's also a program to transfer all data from one phone to another wirelessly.  This works flawlessly, except at Ft Knox here, where I have the network so locked down, it requires an Act of Congress to add a phone.
• The most interesting thing learned from this experience,per Mrs lefty, is the sheer bliss that comes from silence. No phone ringing, no constant BLEEPs from notices and email, no one can get in touch. This is technically known as Phone/Email Vacation and might be a consideration when you're stressed.

So it must have been boring for a while.

My mother in law went to a foot doctor for a painful toe. He gave her meds and sent her on her way. The next day she was in the hospital, septic (blood infection) and getting a toe amputated and now in Rehabilitation.

Father in law, who has been dutifully visting his wife daily, goes for a routine checkup, leading to a more specific test. He has a 'minor blockage', which, of course, means he will require a triple bypass. Now. Do not pass Go and do not collect $500 because that's probably his deductible for heart surgery.

The family is leaping into action in an admirable way.

And I'm going to spend some time here and there being a bachelor, along with my co-bachelor, Marshall. This will require cooking, shopping, and Generally Laying About (aboot for my Canadian reader). Fortunately we're both quite accomplished at Laying About.

Got any weird friends? The next time you communicate with them, via smoke signals, morse code, or even email, tell them about ThermionicEmissions. We're the blogosphere's dirty little secret. At our previous location, I made a few pennies from advertising revenue. I make nothing here but the satisfaction of (hopefully) entertaining readers. Please help me gratifiy my ego with a few more readers. Thanks!

Not enough attention is paid to 15th party candidates. Don't forget Vermin Supreme .

Sanpellegrino Grapefruit - the Editorial Issue

No, seriously. Sanpellegrino makes sparkling water and some really tasty flavored sparkling water. I am not particularly fond of grapefruit but when I tasted this, I was eating a grapefruit.  Unfortunately I get nothing for mentioning/endorsing this.


If you're planning to go to the Superbowl, you're going to get surveilled so closely that you'll feel like you're getting a colonoscopy.  Security Theater strikes again!  It's for the children.

• A child was kicked out of grade school because of his DNA. Really. Because of some health issues at birth, he had a DNA scan, which revealed the possibility of Cystic Fibrosis. The parents disclosed this to the school on the entrance form. Now the child has been bounced from school because of the potential illness, which would require him to be kept away from all sources of infection. Mind you, the child does not have Cystic Fibrosis. This is the opening shot of Genetic Discrimination. If you've had a DNA scan, you had better find a way to hide it. If your boss finds out you have a genetic disposition to alcoholism, you're outta there. Depression? Bye! 

In case the FDA approves it, you'll want to know that there are now vaginal marijuana suppositories for period pain relief. My mind boggles at the concept of getting a secondary high.

• Don't you hate it when this happens? Author Whitley Strieber was having some landscaping done when the entire crew quit and walked off. The foreman explained that "one of those aliens walked across your driveway." Even stranger, the crew would accept no money.

Hillary Duff's divorce was just finalized. I'm just warning my wife in case she starts calling again. The Vanessa Hudgens situation really got out of hand.

• Thank all that is holy - there will be a Fast and Furious 9 AND 10!

Hundreds of Missippi citizens received jury summons with instructions to call a sex hotline. I'll bet they never have trouble finding jurors.

• A cleaning lady in Mannheim confused an art installation with garbage and threw it in the trash. It's a fine line. You'd probably do it too.

The IRS had to shut down the E-File system due to a 'hardware failure'.  Libertarians: not even in office and already fulfilling their promises.



TECH CORNER

If you haven't been paying attention or slipped and used the Microsoft Edge browser, know that the InPrivate Mode isn't private. You don't even have to understand why... if you use inPrivate mode for privacy, USE ANOTHER BROWSER.

If you use Comodo browser, stop. It poses a security threat.

If you use Malwarebytes antivirus, it can take 3-4 weeks to fix flaws. Malwarebytes' free malware buster is not mentioned. I highly recommend it for weekly scans and getting rid of stubborn malware (on Windows machines).

If you purchased a Microsoft Surface Pro tablet, Surface Pro 2 or 3, your AC power cord is being recalled. Some small nuisance over fire and electrical shock.

Six ways linux is more welcoming than Windows for newcomers.

DO NOT PISS OFF THE INTERNET

Unless you've been hiding under a rock, you have seen the video of the Indian doctor abusing an Uber driver. She was placed on leave by the hospital where she works. But that's nothing compared to the figurative beating she has gotten for pissing off the internet. As the video went viral, people emailed her with all sorts of nasty suggestions, including 'strongly encouraging' suicide. As if this weren't enough, someone found her address and leaked it to the net, prompting people to send her things, including a package containing curry and a hijab. People left notes on her car. Others located the Florida Board of Medicine phone number and suggested people call to complain.

Granted, her behavior was reprehensible. No one should be treated like that, especially poor people providing a service. This was clearly a breach of personal responsibility. The internet has made her life a living hell, in spite of tearful apologies and what appears to be genuine remorse. Fear is probably a component too. That said, this has nothing to do with her medical abilities or practice. 

The internet has shown how ugly it can and will get. The power of incredible amounts of people with varied skills cannot be underestimated but they should probably self-moderate.

ThermionicEmissions would not be ThermionicEmissions if I didn't mention that someone dug up personal pics of her and she looks quite nice in a bikini.

THE TRUMP CARD

I would not presume to tell you how to vote (have I mentioned that Governor Gary Johnson is running on the Libertarian ticket?)  and that is all. You probably know who has my vote (have I mentioned that Governor Gary Johnson is running on the Libertarian ticket?) and I want to officially state that I would not vote for Donald Trump. However, no one could deny his effect on this election.  People, well, the ones who are awake, are pissed. The Donald tells them what they want to hear and a vote for him is a legitimate protest vote. In addition, no one owns Trump, which is a downright lovely thing; he's an outsider. [NOTE: I am not coming down on anyone who votes for him. I just find some of his positions to be dictator-like.]

If you've seen, read, or listened to anything approaching news, you know that Trump bowed out of the debate (offering to return at the last minute if Fox would donate $5 million to one of his charities). Trump has a problem with Megyn Kelly, at very least. 

Trump traded barbs with Kelly and Fox. Fox was grossly unprofessional in its responses. Megyn was one of the moderators of the debate and referred to Trump as an Elephant and other unprofessional hot air emissions. Is this a news outlet or a free-for-all?

ThermionicEmissions would not be Thermionic Emissions if I didn't mention that Kelly is a very attractive woman with long blond hair. She cut it for the debate and her looks vanished in a non-existent puff of smoke.

CRIMINAL

Here are a few words about Hillary Clinton.  Hillary is a lying, vicious career politician, defining hubris. Although the press and government departments desperately try to cover it up, her email situation should result in HILLARY FOR JAIL 2016. 

There is no question of above top secret emails. The Inspector General required a higher clearance just to read the emails to determine if classified information was on the server. Hillary changes her story every time new information comes out. None of this is a secret.

What is completely ignored is that every action after purchasing a server has been a serious security breach, if not downright illegal. If you or I got our work email diverted to a personal server in our bathroom, we would not be employed too much longer. Documents also show that the Russians had the server hacked within twenty minutes of it being powered up. Who knows about if or how far the Chinese got. Wouldn't you qualify a home server diverting above top secret email and effectively providing this information to other nations a pretty serious offense? The emails identify CIA-payrolled spies, whose lives are now in danger.

Lastly, the Top Secret Gov't Network is completely separated from the non-classified system, so someone had to open the classified emails and copy them to the non-classified system. BOOM-they knew. The rest is lies. Now all that remains is that her buddies in government let the indictment go through... uh-oh.

Mike Nesmith (The Monkees)-every day I come home to this - don't you?

The Presidential Clown Car

There are so many people running for president that ThermionicEmissions put together a brief comparison of the major candidates so you don't have to. I'm sure this matrix will allow you to make a more informed choice for next person to occupy the White House. Another public service from the liberty-minded folks here at ThermionicEmissions.

	Donald Trump	Vermin Supreme	Bernie Sanders	me
Party	Republican	Free Pony Party	Democrat	Left-Handed Party
Most Notable	Endorsed by ex-wife, who he did not rape	Only bona-fide American Presidential Candidate to actually donate a living organ	Socialist	The best left-handed guitarist on his block
Best Known for	That thing on his head	Wearing a boot as a hat and carrying a large toothbrush	Socialist	Male Pattern Baldness, unsuccessful blogger
Platform	Let all the damn wetbacks in	Zombie apocalypse awareness (and zombie-based energy plan), time travel research (in order to go back and kill Hitler before he was born)	Take away all guns	Jail the Kardashians, force Congress to use Obamacare
Slogan	I've got $9 billion and you don't	Screw world peace - I want a pony	The accent Trump wishes he had	Running with scissors for YOU

	Hillary Clinton	Libertarians	Chris Christie	Rick Santorum
Party	Democrat	Libertarian?	Donut	Barefoot and Pregnant
Most Notable	The only woman Bill wouldn't sleep with	Ron Paul	Stopping traffic out of spite, blaming it on others	Didn't realize Intelligent Design was religiously motivated
Best Known for	Sucking out all bodily fluids from Vince Foster	No government spying	Using storm aid for ads	Pennsylvania's emarrassment
Platform	Whatever the Bilderbergers, Trilaterals and Council on Foreign Relations say, personal servers for me alone	Maximum freedom, minimum government, free market healthcare (because that worked so well before), stop 'exporting freedom'	Shouting down anyone who disagrees, lap band surgery in every pot (belly)	Intelligent design, no birth control, no same sex marriage, deregulate pro wrestling, waterboarding
Slogan	I ran the White House for eight years - what the hell else do you want?	Leave us alone	Shut up!	My values are the country's values

Since I don't want to unduly influence you, dear readers, here is a list of famous libertarians:

Squint Eastwood, Vince Vaughn, Ayn Rand, Chris Rock, Christina Ricci, Dave Barry, David Letterman, David Lynch, Dean Koontz, Denis Leary, Dennis Rodman (his nose rings are reportedly voting for Hillary), Donald Fagen (Steely Dan), Howard Stern, Matt Stone+Trey Parker (South Park), Penn&Teller (Penn&Teller), Kurt Russell, Drew Carey, Frank Zappa (absentee ballot), Gene Simmons, Hugh Downs, John Malkovich, Matt Drudge, Matt Groening (Simpsons), Neil Peart (Rush), Raquel Welch (I rest my case), Robert Duvall, Tom Selleck and Tommy Chong (enthusiastic marijuana user)