Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Condoms in the Workplace

Did you know the web was largely text-only at the beginning? From the command line, you fired up Lynx, a text browser. If there were images in the page, all you saw was [image]. It has been suggested we go back to lynx, if only for reducing the load on our computers. 

In case you're curious, email was handled by programs like elm and pine, also from the command line. No email programs on your computer. No html. No emojis. No wallpaper, no pictures, no viruses.... All monitors were black and white (or green or yellowish). You couldn't see a picture no matter how desperate you were. I would go back to this email in a second, It's still available.


Magecart hackers infect 17,000 sites through misconfigured Amazon S3 buckets.   This is THE CLOUD, people. It's bad enough you don't keep your data in-house, but sending it to THE CLOUD without correctly configuring the highway is pure idiocy. And this is the latest and greatest hack - you just scan for open buckets and hack away.


The City Mayors' Association has voted not to pay any more ransoms when they get infected with ransomware.

That's nice.

The City Mayors' Association hasn't voted on backing up their networks, patching the machines, and training the employees not to click on phishing emails.

This policy will suddenly be recalled. As soon as the next city gets hacked.


Microsoft pushed another Win 10 update, this time including a telemetry file. For those of you not familiar, this is the Designated Spying Section of Win 10. If you turn it off, the spying won't stop entirely.  RECOMMENDATION: use a safe, secure operating system that doesn't spy on you.




  •  PRO TIP: if you need some political wisdom, consult Ron Paul, not Ru Paul. Trust me.



Dear lefty

  • How do we achieve world peace?
  • Boom boom. Just enough boom boom so there's little time to do anything else, but you still want more.
  • this offer not valid on any day of the week ending in Y. Priests and Boy Scout leaders not eligible. If you sell counterfeit NFL jerseys, ICE will break down your door and deport you.




Fine Florida Finesse

A Florida woman was arrested after ruining $2,000 worth of ice cream by spitting, picking her nose, and urinating into containers.

This is not some 15 year old looking for net cred (she's well past 30). At least the police are catching these idiots. Next up: sneeze guards on ice cream freezers.

A Palm Beach, Florida, principal has been removed after questioning the factual existence of the Holocaust, to protect Holocaust deniers from having to hear propaganda forced on them.

A Florida woman was charged with a felony after her daughter was filmed licking tongue depressor in a medical center.





  • Stevie Wonder told London fans he's getting a kidney transplant in a few months. A donor has been found. Good luck, Stevie. 
  • In unrelated news, a Cleveland man scored backstage passes for life to Stevie Wonder concerts, plus an all expenses paid vacation with Stevie.



Why do I love our Hyundai?
Aside from many other reasons, it has held together through an uncountable number of people hitting it. It was happening at least monthly. It was personal. Fortunately the accidents stopped.

Until today, of course.
Wife shops at Costco, which I can't stand due to crowds and incontinent, entitled old people. One of these incompetent grannies backed right into our parked car, then jumped out, screaming, and demanded the police be called (she probably couldn't operate a phone, no less a car). Yes, it's personal.

Costco, you're on notice.
You owe us for every ding caused by these aged oafs. You owe us for grief suffered from the dings and grief suffered because of these antedeluvians clogging up the incredibly wide aisles. They leave their carts in the middle and walk off.  I wonder if they ever find their way back. Old people are a treasure, except your old people. You need to modify your client base or set up special shopping hours for them only (so they can run into each other and scream).

To make the experience complete, Costco didn't have Raisin Bran. What kind of insane asylum is out of Raisin Bran? The last actual insane asylum I visited had Raisin Bran in the kitchen. Just not Costco.



We don't mess with genetic engineering on humans, but we're having a blast with fruits. These exist:

pluot - plum crossed with apricot
apriplu - apricot crossed with plum

This is the same principle as greenish blue and bluish green. Partly sunny and partly cloudy. Slightly pregnant.




The year was 1968. Apollo 8 launched and orbited the Moon. While around the dark side, where communications don't work, astronauts saw a light; one suggesting it looked like a campfire.

In the capsules is a recorder, which takes down all audio. Upon return, the audio was transcribed, then classified, of course. Recently the transcription was declassified, and the discussion about the light was read for the first time.

Apollo 11 saw something similar and managed a photograph. It's pretty convincing. Even NASA's Denial Squad Guy fully admitted they saw it and didn't try to poo-poo it.  The non-NASA Denial Squad tried too, but were debunked.

There is still no answer (available) as to what they saw.




Ever wonder what happens when priests get caught molesting children?
Opus Bono steps in with help, money, shelter, defense.... and they're well-funded.

Everybody deserves legal representation, but these people sicken me.
If there is a hell....




SJW Stuff

A Virginia man was arrested after burning a flag in the parking lot of a Walmart. The sheriff acknowledged the person's right to burn a flag, but arrested him for 'doing it in a public place with the intent of intimidating others.'

That charge is still a speech charge. When does burning a flag count as intimidating others? Having large, threatening-looking men at polling places is intimidation. If this shining example of a sheriff wanted to 'teach him a lesson' he might have considered something around a disturbance on someone else's property. It's Walmart's parking lot, not his. He should have burned the flag on his own property. But we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, plus the police there don't like flag burners, so they have to lob any charge that might stick.










Saturday, July 27, 2019

Blog? You Call This Thing A Blog?

Best Headline:
1 person sent to hospital after drinking internet personality's bath water.

No really... there's at least one young female making a bundle selling her (used) bath water. Is this one of those apocalypse horsies I always hear about?


Speaking of selling your bath water, the latest trend is going to a store and licking something from a package, like ice cream, then putting it back. Of course you video yourself and post it on the net.

Remember Ariana Grande? She went into a donut shop, picked up a donut and licked it, then put it back, stating that she hated white people. For once, she was ahead of the curve.

One person caught doing this faces up to 20 years in prison. I wonder if the trial will be livestreamed on Faceyspaces and become a trend....

The police apprehended one of these people and arrested him for tampering. The fellow showed them store video of him purchasing the item after the stunt, but he got arrested anyway.


UPDATE: The girl selling bathwater (or one of her friends) is also selling urine, as Gamer Girl Pee.

I don't do sociology, but I want to know that sociologists are saying about this.




Dear lefty:

  • Why is my display so dirty?
  • Too much one-handed typing.




NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory was hacked for nearly a year without being detected. It was discovered in April 2018 and NASA temporarily disconnected several space flight related systems from the JPL network.  

In other news, the Mars Rover, NASA's coffee machines, and several lunar simulators belonging to JPL have all stopped working....


Do you have a MAC and use the videoconferencing service ZOOM?
Don't.
A security researcher discovered a flaw that allows to turn on your webcam without your knowledge or consent. The second flaw is that it installs a web server on your computer which stays there, even if you delete the software. This means things can be downloaded to your computer without your knowledge or permission. The company patched the first item but chose to leave the server, for 'user experience'.  

Don't use Zoom


Researchers discovered over 1,300 android apps collected data when you denied permission.


The US Coast Guard issued a safety alert following a cyber attack:

  1. Do not use your computers under water
  2. Use protection, personally and on your computer (they didn't).
  3. There is a 90% probability your bunkmate does not want to play Hide the Salami.


  • Microsoft partners told they're no longer getting free software to run their businesses.
  • Partners should look into a free OS that is free of licensing and free of MS. We might know of one.....





Things We Can Do Without

  1. Wasabi ice cream
  2. the Duck Decoy Museum
  3. bagpipes




UK News

In an interview, Boris Johnson said he couldn't wait to get his message out. The interviewer suggested perhaps showing up at debates might help. Boris terminated the interview, but allowed that he might send his lawnmower to the debates next time.

The British Labour Party continues to deal with antisemitism allegations. A party member resigned because he couldn't deal with the level of antisemitism. Labour said they regret his resignation and wish the goddamn Christ-Killing Jew the best.

In yet another move for world diplomacy, President Trump referred to the UK ambassador as 'wacky,' and a 'very stupid guy', after the ambassador referred to him as 'the kind of person who is tall and has good teeth', in a leaked paper.

Not satisfied, Trump then scolded Teresa May for not taking his advice on Brexit, then failing totally. Comments were immediate, saying that Brexit was none of Trump's business. The comments came during the protest against Trump's border policies.



UPDATE: the British Ambassador resigned.

Although my diplomacy skills are rough (largely nonexistent), I'm wondering about this affair. The way I see it, if the Prime Minister asked for a report, advice, or observation, the fellow was in the right in giving it. The leaker was a cheeky little bugger who needs a lesson. Was the ambassador correct in making the assessment? If so, leave him alone. If he was wrong, he should resign. So far, this is only a show (politics as usual). The issue here seems to be that he got caught. Will the ability to avoid this be the single criterion for his replacement?

Would the US do the same thing?

Please correct me if I'm off here or this is not how diplomacy works.

Note: I'm just asking about the process. I am not commenting on the note, the accuracy of the note, or Trump.


  • RIP Rip:  Elmore Raul Torn, Jr, aka Rip Torn (88).
  • Charles Elmer Taylor, aka Rip Taylor, is still throwing confetti.



Mrs lefty came home from shopping (never a good omen) and showed me her bounty. She tells me she saved me $100 on these shoes. Suspending disbelief, I asked her how. Well, these shoes were on sale, as were these... $100 off the bill!

That's nice, Dear. By the way, I just saved you $1,000.
HUH?
Well the left handed guitar shop has a Custom Shop 1958 Strat. If I ordered it new, it would be $4,000. Since it's used, it's only $3,000. I saved you $1,000!

Turns out savings doesn't work both ways.



  • I love recruiters. Just received info on a job 5 hours away. I politely declined, stating the 10 hour commute would be too much.
  • What is wrong with these people?





SJW Stuff

Salon magazine: exposed: The Declaration of Independence is sexist, racist, and prejudiced.


Bette Midler tweeted that it's 115 degrees in France and Trump is only interested in putting tanks on the mall for a salute to himself. 36k likes. I'm a fan of hers.

Twitter: where you find your favorite stars' personal opinions lack any sort of discernible logic.

Perhaps she wants the president to load up an aircraft carrier with window air conditioners for the people of FranceOr send emergency ice. Will she carry air conditioners and do a USO show for the troops? She can sing her hit, "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy Who Voted for Hillary."



Remember Antifa - the anti fascists?
Remember they committed acts of violence against people who didn't agree with them in Portland? With masks on?
Remember how they and their friends honestly believe they can assault people because they deserve it (for showing up and disagreeing nonviolently)?
Remember how the police did nothing, under orders of the mayor?

One day, Antifa is going to protest in the wrong neighborhood, say somewhere in Texas. There will be some dirty diapers that day. Open carry is a religion in Texas.

I really don't want to see this. No one should get assaulted, milkshaked, or shot at a public protest. No matter how much you want to see someone get some instant karma. As they say online, Shit's Getting Real.

How do you convince a misguided group of people that it is not a human right to hit people with crowbars if you think they're Nazis? They're going to get way more than they anticipate.

It's almost like Divide and Conquer.

Oh.







Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Juggling Disney

We went to the mall yesterday.
That is usually enough for an entire blog entry, and this did not disappoint.

There are 2 guitar stores there, so there's something for me. And when I say something for me, I mean a place to look at backwards (right handed) guitars and note the extreme non-presence of lefties. I know that it's not economically feasible to carry a ton of lefties, but there are virtually none in most stores. And the ones that are present are starter junk.

The salespersons are sympathetic to my plight, but can't do anything. Some even note they get significant calls for lefties, but have little inventory. It's like ordering a few lefties causes physical pain for Manglement. One can go into Guitar Center and note an absolute ton of guitars there; few if any lefties. It's like the Cheese Shop sketch.

"Yes, we have a lot of guitars."
But I can't find a lefty."
"We have a ton of guitars. This is the best shop in the state."
How do you reckon this?
"We have a ton of guitars. It's a very clean shop."
Well, it's certainly clean of lefties.

Hey, I want to check out some necks on Fenders. Do you have the backwards versions?  Yes, one. A cheap one.  I see.

"But the warehouse might have one. You'll have to pay for it in full before we can order it, but you have a 45 day return option."

Ummm.. do you think I'm really that stupid? Would you buy a guitar you can't play beforehand?


Hey, Fender put out a 70s Strat. Lemme see - I know they're made left handed.
This is NOT a 70s Strat. I have a number of them and this guitar in no way resembles them. The alleged 70s Strat has a 2000s neck. What's wrong with Fender? Do they get better drugs than we do? Why do all the 50s reproductions have 2000s necks? HELLO... IS ANYONE PAYING ATTENTION AT FENDER?

So there was no surprise there.

-------------------------

We located a Disney store. It's virtually unheard of in our neighborhood, so in we went. Disney decided a while back to stop selling shirts and accessories for adults and concentrate on kids. This ignores a huge market - adults love Disney. Mrs. lefty adores Eeyore. She has Eeyore mugs, Eeyore socks, Eeyore clothes, and even Eeyore underwear. Being a resourceful type, I even looked for bras. There are no Eeyore bras.

The employees at Disney are among the most friendly in retail. I strongly suspect they go through 'training' at the Mouse House. The training involves blinky lights and things that go around a lot... "Pay attention to the spinning wheel. You are getting very sleepy. You LOVE Disney. You REALLY love Disney. In fact, you ARE Disney. You eat, sleep, and drink Disney. Your entire life is in service to The Mouse. You will be nothing but friendly and encourage the customers to buy more overpriced stuff at all times. When you wake up, you will have no memory of our little chat.... 1... 2... 3... and now you're awake."

We were approached by no fewer than six helpful, cheerful Mouse Workers. They were so happy that my subconscious was trying to drag my body out of the store. Upon checking out, the lovely checkout lady asked if we minded carrying the stuffed Eeyore we bought.

Huh?
I helpfully suggested an actual bag. You know bags - you get them in every store in the civilized world (and New Jersey).

"Yes, we've gone green and no longer have bags," she said smugly... like she was in California and was doing something great for the planet.

Huh?
"But you can buy this cloth one for 99 cents."
Huh? (she must have thought I was 'slow')

The Smug was heavy in the store.

Anybody who has ever been in customer service (or awake while working) knows you don't take something away and not provide an alternative. An alternative that the customer isn't required to pay extra for. This is stupid, even by Disney standards. I could almost see the blinky lights and the spinning round wheel (it doesn't work on ADHD people, who can't pay attention to spinning wheels and blinky lights long enough to have any effect).

So if I understand correctly, customers are supposed to walk around the mall with huge stuffed Disney figures or ten little stuffed animals, dropping them all over the place. The other stores laugh and say 'they just came from Disney'. Maybe it's just cheap advertising for Disney. Instead of a DISNEY plastic bag, people see all the DISNEY stuff you just bought. On the floor.

Mrs. lefty loves the hell out of large bags with handles, so she said buy one. It's not the 99 cents - it's the principle (my standing on principle is a recurring theme - one that causes me no end of inconvenience. I'm a pro at shooting myself in the foot - I can hit my foot from across the mall). Naturally the bag has a humongous Disney outline on it, so there's no doubt in anyone's mind where you bought it from. And that you paid for the ($&#ing bag.

----------------------

"Are you finding everything ok?"

How many times have you heard this? We were asked this no fewer than 4 times at Victoria's Secret.  By the way, Victoria's Secret is how they get people to pay so much for so little. Like swimsuits, there is an inverse relationship: the less material in the garment, the more it costs.

NO, we're NOT finding everything ok. In fact, we're not finding ANYTHING.
We're wandering from table to table, looking at Stuff. We are playing the 'Let's find something in the store under $75' game.  We noticed Pink (brand) sweatpants for $60. I asked if we covered over the Pink, would the price tag magically lower itself to $9.99?

In a previous store, I noticed a young teenager wearing the absolute tightest shorts I've ever seen. Wife says everybody's wearing them. I'm flummoxed.. so tight that they look like they're sprayed on... to paraphrase Ren and Stimpy's Pope (voiced by Frank Zappa, RIP), "Cling tightly to my buttocks. Both of them?"

I am not my parents. These shorts look quite fine, but not on a teenager. If they weren't black, I'd swear she wasn't wearing anything. Again, this is just fine on legal age women who can wear them well, but I'd get arrested for looking at them on young girls.

Victoria's in an interesting phenomenon. Basically it teaches young girls it's ok to wear lingerie. And $50 thongs. I'm no prude and people can wear whatever they like, but this is interesting.

In happier news, TUBE TOPS ARE BACK!  They're my favorite. I always tried to get Tube Top Tuesdays instituted at work. I was all kinds of excited until Mrs lefty popped up to pop my bubble, reminding me the only people who will be wearing them are the people who shouldn't be wearing them. She's right, and not only because I have to agree. We also noticed that the largest size in anything in the store is Extra Small. So not only is Victoria's for underage girls to spend more money they don't make; it's for very skinny, petite girls. Normally this would be like Disneyland for me (girls without bags to carry them in?), but again, they're underage. I don't want to be Jethro Tull's old man sitting on the park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent. But let me say something positive about the store: Mrs lefty says their bras are very good and long-lasting. So there's $99 well spent.

As if thongs weren't enough, you can now buy them flat, without lines.
Because no self-respecting woman would want anyone to know their thong has lines (when they bend over and the thong has ridden up their back). Again, the wrong people are wearing them.

"I wear thongs because it makes me sexy to the guys."
Maybe, maybe not. You'd be better served losing 100 of your 300 pounds, though... most men are incapable of mounting a Volkswagen, Hon.

And now I'm going to be called fat-phobic. Even though they're facts.
Actually, if I can get a campaign going to smear me, I'll get way more hits!

---------------------

Since I was with a woman, we stopped at the Lotion and Candle store.  The only men in the store were the ones dragged in by their spouses and the overtly gay employees. Candle stores, makeup stores, and shoe stores. I have no idea why, but it's an observation. The men dragged in by their spouses all had that faraway look, as if they were really not there; perhaps preferring to be on a rack, being tortured by Dick Cheney.

Candle stores are a license to print money. Throw some scented wax in a glass jar and you can charge $37.50 for it (on sale, naturally). If you buy 3 pumpkin spice lotions, you get 2 free (for only $24.99 each). I was incensed (get it?) because they had no rock or dirt scent. This only warmed me up for the biggest piece of genius since P.T. Barnum: the 3 wick candle. This thing is marketing and profit genius the likes of nothing ever seen before.. stay with me... Put three wicks in your normal candle. The candle now burns 3 times faster, and you can charge more money for it! Disney is jealous.

While there, a non-blinky lighted happy salesperson asked if we were looking forward to fall. WHAT? We just got used to spring/summer (we only have 2 seasons where I live - spring/summer and fall/winter). There are decent temperatures among the disgusting hot and humid ones, and it only rains 3 days a week instead of 5. No, we're not looking forward to fall. Plus the @&$(*ing leaves to rake.


So yeah, whenever I walk through a mall, I'm mentally writing this blog.


========================


No single topic blog rant would be complete without a rant on country music. 

There is a band called Big & Rich on tv. They are referred to as country music. Boy, country music has changed since I started avoiding it. The lead singer is black. I know many black lead singers, but this is the first time I've seen a black country lead singer (yes, I know they exist - I just don't watch country music). The drummer has a huge, metallic drum kit and a huge mohawk. There are always at least 4 guitar players in country music, but you can never hear more than one at a time. And since there are 4 guitars, there's also a lone banjo, in the back, in the corner, where all banjos belong. Fortunately the sound man 'forgot' to mic the banjo, so no one is subjected to it. Someone in the audience complained to the sound man they couldn't hear the banjo. The sound man smiled and said 'You're welcome.'

The singers alternate. The white one looks like a country version of Kid Rock, only less trashy. The joke's on the audience, as it's not possible to be more trashy than Kid Rock.

The lead guitarist must've been freshly recruited from a rock or metal act. This guy had all the riffs down to be in a pretty good rock band. I was impressed. This must be why people hate country music. I hear a lot of moaning about how new country music sucks (how does one differentiate it from the traditional country music suckage?). They want to hear ole Hank Williams and plastic-haired Conway Twitty. I swear if that hair hit the floor, it would bounce and injure at least 3 pairs of feet. So the traditionalists are against uptempo and rock-influenced country. Ironically, this stuff sells big time and there are more country fans than ever. Like Katy Perry and any form of rock and roll.


=========================


No single topic blog rant with a country music rant attached would be complete without another random rant. 

There is wonderful news in the medical field: surgeons have pioneered an operation that gives paralyzed people some function in their hands. It's a minor miracle and I am really happy for these folks.

That's the good news.
The bad news is what I saw about it on the news: they told everyone the good news, then they showed the operation, complete with the arm opened and the blood vessels and guts and Victoria's thongs and country music visible for all to see. I was nauseated. My breakfast told me to stop eating it.






  • Ridgecrest, California just suffered a 7.1 earthquake.
  • Quick to action, the governor just signed legislation making earthquakes illegal.




  • A Florida man pretending to be police pulls over a real policeman. It didn't go well.



    SJW Stuff

    from Twitter:
    Air-conditioning is unhealthy, bad, miserable, and sexist. I can’t explain how may times I’ve gotten sick over the summer b/c of overzealous AC in offices. #BanAC








    Tuesday, July 23, 2019

    Boris Johnson? Boris Freakin Johnson?


    Boris Johnson won the election for the Conservative Party. This means he will be Prime Minister, but not now, for reasons nobody, including British citizens, can figure out. First there will be the initiation, with the male MPs, wooden paddles, and the Donkey Show. His official song will be Boris the Spider, by The Who.

    This means the UK has normalized Interesting Hair. The Ministry of Silly Hats is worried for its future under Brexit. Perhaps out of spite, most of Mr. Johnson's hair was where it should have been today. It turns out the lawnmower wouldn't start this morning. Even liberals are paying attention, because they want to know what Boris' hair got up to today.

    The only controversy thus far is that the UN met last week and decided that there can only be one Boris, and Mr. Yeltsin has already been there. Replacement name suggestions have been floated:  Bob, Chauncy, Spot, and Cindy.

    The acceptance speech was full of energy and promised decreased spending for education, social services, horse racing, Very Large Hats, and kebab shops. In a nod to Vermin Supreme, everyone will get a free* pony or a free toothbrush, because oral hygiene is a strong metaphor for government. Joyful at the announcement, the audience clapped, reservedly hooted, and men kissed other men.

    * not free


    Man on the Street interviews featured men, well dressed, saying important-sounding things in strange accents. I could make out the word 'exit' a lot.

    Woman on the Street interviews featured hats so large, they couldn't fit in the shot, so there were two disembodied voices, being political, and not being seen. Boris was elated, remarking that women shouldn't be seen OR heard. Note to women on tv: that face makeup really does wonders for you - it puts the rose back in your cheeks and makes you look almost normal. The failure to apply it to your neck makes your neck glow, like a geek who never sees the sun, in a graveyard, under a black light.

    Critics were immediately heard, in the form of outraged MPs, demanding to see if the liberal party has less frightening-looking women than the conservative party. They said 'exit' a lot too. This must be some sort of political keyword, because it's used all over the place. The American correspondent's mic was muted, so all you heard was 'what are these people talking about' and a lot of giggling. The Irish correspondent said something about Resisting taking the Exit train over the edge, which caused even more laughter from the American correspondent. The promised Horse on the Street interview never materialized.



    Sky News will feature videos of Boris' youth*, around age 6, with him running around shirtless, with friends. This goes to show the fix was in when he was little; and that he does have friends.

    * I'm not kidding.



    Watch out, UK - it's our turn!







    Sunday, July 21, 2019

    Vegan Shampoo: Gluten Free, Meat Free

    In my latest Florida IT Disaster rant, an unnamed IT person was fired for clicking on a phishing link, 'forcing' that city to pay ransom.

    You will notice that no action was taken against the designers and maintainers of the network that wasn't patched and didn't have backups. This is a tactic worthy of a political debate.

    As for the IT person, they should be required to take a remedial phishing safety class, then teach safety/employee education classes at work. In lieu of being a sacrificial lamb.



    I've mentioned this, but Ancient TV escapes me. A local-ish station pops up out of nowhere, playing absolutely ancient shows. I believe the shows are royalty free, so there is little cost to run the station. So now everyone can be treated to the absolute BEST shows of the 70s. And when I say absolute best, I mean shows that weren't all that good in the 70s.  Then there are the networks with 50s shows. You can now watch ridiculously formulaic, black and white shows that your parents and grandparents watched. You know, wholesome comedy.  The absolute worst is Buzzer, the game show network. One would think that a network featuring various game shows would be entertaining. However, they play the original shows. You are now watching Match Game 73, meaning the show aired in 1973. Everybody on the show, including the contestants, is dead (except Betty White, of course). There is one fun part, though: the prizes. The cars you could win are hysterical to see. The furnishings are even funnier. And you could get the absolute latest in audio - an all-in-one stereo system, featuring a turntable and an 8 track player!

    I couldn't figure out why I sit next to Mrs lefty and watched some of this nonsense. It's because I like to see manly cars. Huge cars. 8 cylinder cars. With trunks you could fit a family in. Where you can have separate arguments in the front and back seats, without disturbing the other. Cars where you could ride around the block and watch the gas gauge go down. With bench seats - favorite seat of spaniels and all other dogs. They hate having to climb over the hump, with nowhere to sit in these stupid bucket seats. When tires were large and the wheel wasn't. When you could run over smaller cars and not notice it.

    Sigh.
    The good old days.
    Can't buy a real car anymore.

    On the bright side, our Hyundai is magnificent; with a mileage figure that old cars didn't match, ok fuel consumption, and absolutely no tuneups or getting dirty. The most maintenance required was putting in washer fluid and taking it in for regular oil changes. Highly recommended.



    Dear lefty

    • Please answer - I haven't gotten any personal abuse lately and I miss it.
    • Answer what, you twat?



    RyanAir has performed a little Marketing Magic. The 737 Max has been grounded for its propensity to fall out of the sky. In their marketing wisdom, Ryan has repainted the 737 Max logo to read 737-8200. Yes, this is another name for the plane, but....

    In unrelated news, the Twin Towers have been renamed 737 Max.




    Smoking and Drinking

    Boris Johnson, (R-UK), came out against sin taxes, like taxes added to unhealthy foods. As the mayor did in Philly on 'unhealthy beverages.'  Boris (R-Missing), says obesity is the NHS' worst problem, costing a ton of money. He said that taxes are not the way to go, preferring a science-based solution.

    A pleasant surprise is politician and newscaster referral to the Nanny State.
    Hey - that's MY phrase!   This would never happen in the US, as government creep gets larger and larger, and we never met a single thing we didn't want to legislate; screw the Constitution.  For a ridiculous example, see tobacco in the US. There is an obscene amount of taxes levied on tobacco. Most don't complain because they don't smoke. Even when the "Don't Smoke - You're Going to DIE' warning appeared on ciggies, it did nothing. Obviously taxing doesn't work, nor does dictating. Taxes were found to affect the low income segment disproportionally, especially on sugary beverages.


    Speaking of Blighty, this is apparently a big time for the national pastime of cricket. Although we have some idea of football/soccer, we're flummoxed on cricket. Any who wouldn't be? Reports are that 57% of Brits don't understand it either.

    There is a batsman that bowls the ball, which looks like it would cause an amazing amount of damage, should it come in contact with your person. It is referred to as bowling because the ball is made of the same thing bowling pins are made of, only there's no machine that returns them. No, the sport is so old that it relies on actual humans to move the ball. There is no sign of 3 finger holes on the ball, although rumor has it there are in the ladies' cricket league.

    The field looks a lot like baseball, only with higher salaries and greater television ratings. This is carefully balanced by having to pay a tv license (they can't spell either) to actually watch stuff on tv. In spite of paying for tv, they also have an obscene amount of commercials. Embarrassed, the viewers claim American tv has more, but this is just projection, meant to make them feel ok with paying so much to watch men run around and get hit in the family jewels by balls with the tensile strength of SCUD missiles.

    If the batter/bowler/truss-wearer manages to hit the ball, something definitely happens. This varies with the day of the week. Regardless, the sports reporters develop brain aneurysms commenting on hits, like hockey commentators in the US. Color commentary is slightly different too.

    "Up now is Billy Hetherington-Smyth-Smith. Billy was conservative party ball washer, in addition to personally wetting his uniform in last year's finals."

    "This score was quite the effort. It reminded me of two games ago, when they also scored."

    "The team are playing wonderfully this season, allowing them to all work together on one player scoring."

    In reality, nobody really knows how the game works, least of all the players. These athletes (ATH-uh-leets in the US) are not among society's best and brightest, referring to their jobs as somehow hitting the bowling ball and closely monitoring their bank accounts for copious rises in the balance. Some find this exercise too much and hire people to look at their bank accounts for them. Some make so much money they hire people to play for them, citing the risk of damage, should they have to run or something.

    The bat is like a baseball bat, but flat, and more likely to cause damage on the other team's faces. The American practice of using aluminum bats has not caught on, even though it would cause more damage to faces (and groins). One reason for this is that the British pronounce it 'al you MIN e um', and the extra syllable costs more to air, due to the complex tax system, which reaches 90% of income.

    Finally, the winner, although nobody knows how that is decided, takes the ashes. Nobody has ever questioned where the ashes came from, and why smoking is encouraged in this sport. Teams are considering changing ashes to rocks, as the sin tax on ashes is getting out of hand. Of course if they use rocks, they will also develop sin taxes.

    Small wonder America gets a bad reputation for not understanding or following the sport... even the Brits don't understand it. This doesn't stop them from turning out in the hundreds of thousands to watch. Since the cricket watchers are of a higher socio-economic class, the sport lacks the excitement of soccer hooligan riots, the second most popular sport in the world; except America, where there are courts and jails in the stadiums.

    Commenting on the upcoming acid test, Captain Ken Kesey said he was practicing all day, every day.

    Lastly, no one has any idea why the founding batters chose to call it cricket. The name is slated to change, as the Society for the Protection of Insects, Brown Division, strongly objects to cruelty to crickets. Even if there are no crickets whatsoever in the game.

    The preceding paragraphs are 100% fact free.




    • 7-11 came up with an app!
    • The next day, half a million dollars were stolen from customers because there was no security with password reset (anyone could change anyone else's password).





    Are you tired of Security Theater? Being groped by the TSA in airports? Going through the body scanner? Wear sequins. They drive the body scanners crazy, so you'll go through the metal detector instead. And probably upset TSA agents.



    • The family of a woman killed in the Las Vegas shooting is filing a lawsuit against gun makers.  Because them damn guns leaped into the air and shot her.
    • There will obviously be lawsuits against alcohol manufacturers, car manufacturers, lake and ocean manufacturers, and anyone else who needs to be sued due to lack of personal responsibility.



    After a recent typhoid fever scare, the LAPD recently announced the deployment of a germ-killing robot at Central Division on Skid Row.

    The robot emits 5 minute pulses of UV light that the manufacturer says kills 80% to 90% of germs in the air & on open surfaces. I keep waiting for the punchline. If you tried this, you'd be jailed for practicing medicine without a license. This won't survive a lawsuit, good intentions aside. 

    This is also a template for what's to come, should there be serious health issues.




    • Coca-Cola says you can party like it's 1985 again, because they're re-releasing New Coke!
    • This is what we call not learning from your unbelievably huge mistakes. New Coke was a major flop and was quickly discontinued. Probably because it tasted like Pepsi.
    • In totally unrelated news, the Gremlin, the Ford Pinto, and the Nova are being re-released. Now you can get your Ugly, Exploding, Doesn't Go on.
    • Other throwbacks planning a reissue include polyester pantsuits, bowties, Radio Shack computers, and gonorrhea.



    SJW Antics

    A SUNY professor penned an article titled 'Seeing poor white people makes me happy'.   If you want more entertainment, click the link. Even other racists will hate this guy.


    Liberal Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz has noted that Ocasio-Cortez's comments make her a "Holocaust denier," which is a form of anti-Semitism.

    Tonight's epic battle: the R Card vs the J Card.
    Who will win this momentous social justice battle? Stay tuned!

    Any group with more than one person in it will eventually eat itself.


    Activists demand tampon dispensers in male bathrooms for "menstrual equality"
    As with most things, Monty Python was years ahead of its time.

    "Classical music is inherently racist." - an article in NewMusicBox.








    Thursday, July 18, 2019

    The Vagaries of Elephant Sexing. And Sexting.

    After our great success with the battery-powered Worx mower, we purchased a Worx... thing... it's a small chainsaw attached to a long pole. Wife says it's for getting rid of high branches. I say it's for long distance torturing of certain neighbors.

    I guess it depends on who handles it.  Meanwhile, it's waiting in the kitchen.


    ThermionicEmissions is saddened to hear Beth Chapman, Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife, passed away, most likely from cancer (1967-2019). Although an occasional target of the blog, we send our best to Dog and family.



    • Japan is set to resume whale hunting. They say it's essential.
    • Reached for comment, the whales say it's not essential.
    • Funny mishap on the first day: someone harpooned Rob Reiner.


    At the Glastonbury Festival (England's answer to Woodstock III), people observed...

    Unfortunate songstress Neneh Cherry was warbling through her set when the veteran OS finally gave up the ghost. Alas, XP was dealing with the stage back projection, meaning that the audience lurched from being vaguely surprised to learn that Cherry was still around to the horrifying realisation that so was XP.

    Yes, Windows XP, the long out of support, dead OS. Perfect example. The only safe, past term OS, is one that runs by itself and doesn't connect to any network. When Microsoft tells you to upgrade, they're not kidding. And you know how I feel about Microsoft.




    •  Mauritania (election controversy), Ethiopia (coup), Syria (2x, exams), have had large internet 'interruptions' with the past few hours. This shows you how important the net is, and how control of it is so important for tyranny. Remember this the next time you demand internet censorship and control.


    Confused by all the news about Huawei?
    Just discovered were 3 accounts on a big business router; all 3 were hard-coded (built in and not removable), one was root (access to everything) and 2 were system accounts. The passwords are the same, so if you know one, you know them all. I suspect the ability to 'phone home' will also be discovered.

    So if you don't understand why many are calling for dumping their products, you're starting to. As a glance at the news will tell you, our government is not all that good at securing things. Nobody on the planet wants to fire up their networking gear and find out it's available to anyone with the password and it's sending data to China (where companies work even closer with their government).

    This is why it's disheartening to see the president and others backtracking on the ban. [never hope politicians finally 'got it']

    Along those lines, large cloud services provider PCM was hacked, as discovered in mid-May. Why do I say that if you can no longer touch your data, it's no longer yours? The moment you let things loose past your home or business, you are at the mercy of bright as well as bungling people/corporations. You've widened your attack surface (made yourself easier to hit with a foul ball).  The hack was accomplished via phishing, as most are lately.

    In reality, you're not going to avoid The Cloud, whether you know it or not. Just don't choose to. Sync your browser passwords? Get your info from anywhere there's a connection? Get login and password from anywhere you are? It's in The Cloud.  Just don't put anything out that you don't have to, especially for the sake of convenience. 





    Dear lefty:
    • Where can I get a tin foil hat like you? What's your size?
    • Just pretend you have one and act accordingly. It will eventually materialize; faster if you're referred to as one by friends or online. 
    • My size varies, depending on how smug I feel that day. It's always large, though.



    A lot of you are probably asking yourselves about the incidence of human feces incidents in San Francisco. Anticipating your question, I found the following...




    I don't know which surprises me more: that there are so many or that there are stats. A San Francisco friend's comment was 'notice the color'.



    • Several days after once again brandishing swords with the US, Iran said it's over the limit of plutonium it's supposed to have.
    • They also announced they have very small penises.


    There are people who have read ThermionicEmissions via online translation!
    Nice to know I can frighten people in other countries.  World domination is imminent. 




    • Sony is celebrating the 40th anniversary of the Walkman (1979). Where were you when it came out? A twinkle in your parents' eye? The back seat of a brand new Oldsmobile Cutlass station wagon? Still post-traumatic over the conversion to unleaded gas?




    Karl Rove (R-Hell) was bemoaning the shit show that was the Democratic debates. His main objection was federal abortion funding, which he said 'violates morals and people don't want their tax dollars funding abortion.' Hey Karl - I'm morally opposed to war. I don't want my tax dollars funding the military industrial complex. You're a smart fella - you know it doesn't work this way... it's just convenient for your religious agenda.

    Say what you will about Kellyanne Conway, but that New Jersey accent makes you want to gouge your own eardrums out. The sad thing is that her accent isn't all that bad for New Jersey.



    This week's best overheard:
    When police dug up the yard, they found the body. But unless it had 3 legs, there was another body down there somewhere.




    COWORKER Follies

    Ring ring...
    Me: Yes?
    Him: Hi, it's me. I wanted to get your idea on this project. I don't want to send the email first, then do the rest.
    Me: I'm thinking we should wait on the email.
    Him: Yes, but if we wait on the email, the boss will be upset.
    Me: Why do you always call me to argue with yourself? Is your wife often upset with you and you can't figure out why?




    • A baseball player died in a hotel at a young age. There is no cause of death but police don't believe foul play or suicide was involved. 
    • When a musician dies, the cause of death is announced immediately, without autopsy.
    • When there is a particularly nasty explosion, it is automatically not terrorism, before any investigation.
    • How do they know this stuff?
    • our condolences to the pitcher's wife of 7 months.





    SJW News

    Nike co-opted the Betsy Ross flag as a sneaker decoration.
    There was incredible howling from Colin Kaepernik, because 'it takes us back to slavery'.
    Nike will not sell them in the US.
    Demands to destroy the Betsy Ross House and Betsy Ross Bridge are pending.

    Men have named women's body parts, which is sexist.

    Oreo is giving away special Pronoun Packs and encouraging everyone to share their pronouns with pride today and every day.









    Sunday, July 14, 2019

    It Was 365 Days Ago Today

    we lost our best friend, Marshall.
    It hasn't gotten any better - only a little less shitty.
    We miss him daily. The neighbor misses him daily, as do his aunties, extended family, and far-flung internet folks.

    We're thankful for all the good will and wishes sent to us.
    I'm still without words for his vet making a donation to the UofP vet school in his name.

    I miss our Quality Time, before going to sleep, when he'd stand on my arm and I'd scratch his flaps til one of us got tired.  He was named after the Marshall amplifier. We made up a flyer comparing him to an amplifier, which the Marshall people liked.

    In 13 years, we were never apart for longer than my work hours.
    The moment we brought him home, he jumped on the couch and it was his. Someone dumped him. They said he was 6 but the vet said 18 months.
    He had the normal cocker traits: abandonment and a great personality. Sometimes he'd sit behind his mom on the couch. Sometimes he'd sleep above her head on the pillow. Sometimes he'd walk on my chest while I was sleeping and curl up. If I told him to go back to his spot, he would, but wait til I was asleep and try again. He was way too smart for a dog.

    When Mrs lefty picked me up from work, he'd walk through the huge place to my office, stopping to meet his fans along the way. One day the boss took his leash and introduced him to people around the office. It was surreal.

    He'd lay outside, where the neighbor would have long chats with him, while gardening. When she moved spots, he moved. He taught her to feed him on command, but didn't understand that going out and barking after midnight was not good. He'd hide in the bushes so we couldn't find him to bring him in. This worked less well in winter, when the bushes were just sticks.

    He loved my parents. My mother did energy work with him and he used to sit next to her and relax. He crawled all over my dad, which was rare.

    He had his own cat, who'd annoy the hell out of him. When the cat died, he went into mourning for a while. After that, he got diagnosed with cancer and wasn't given long. In spite of that, he went on for a few years, endearing himself to the vet staff and everyone else. When he walked in, the entire staff said his name, like Norm entering Cheers. We received a card with everyone's signature and a few sentences from everyone at the vet's office.

    We swore he would not suffer and he didn't. He passed quietly in the night.

    I don't feel we'll ever get over him. He was not so much a dog as a little person with fur. And his own cult.


    His ashes watch over us from the center of the room
    (in case we have tuna or cat food for him)
    He thinks Penny is a handful.
    He is right.





    * no offense at all to Penny, who brought life back to our home. She's a dog, through and through. She will not develop human behavior, but has developed her place and her people. She is the most relentlessly happy dog I've ever met, and a complete sweetheart.







    Saturday, July 13, 2019

    No Elephant Parking

    The president is holding a conference where I work!
    I'm sure it has nothing to do with me being asked to take the day off with pay.
    There is a poll on how many times he says 'the best xxx'. Another poll on which one of us can get some quality time interviewing Melania. And $1,000 to the person who asks if this is the first set of implants on a First Lady.

    We had to cancel the poll about the media treating the First Lady like they did the former First Lady (fashion icon and all around wonderful person) because we couldn't find anyone who thought they would.



    Election Overview

    The 2020 election will make history.
    There are 457 democrats running, Trump, maybe another republican for fun, and one of any number of Clintons. The Libertarians (my people) haven't selected a candidate, the Greens get less press than my people, and the Socialist Party refused to support Bernie because he's too socialist.



    Dear lefty:

    • Why are there red spots on my wee wee?
    • Because you'll nail anything that will stay still for 30 seconds.


    Best Headline: "Tornado of poop" hits Massachusetts town after overpressurized sewage line experiences severe blockage.  Everyone wants to be California.





    • Debate Season: when you watch these travesties (from any party), listen to the empty promises, some which don't align with reality, and ask yourself what the person has already done about the promise. The answer is nothing.
    • Note the naked pandering.
    • Remember the last debates. Remember the promises. Do you remember any results?
    • Remember the hot air about things getting better when the opposite party gets into office. What happened? What are you being told now? Same thing.
    • Our memories are short - about four years. Let's go over the script and decide to do something different. If we don't change our actions, we won't change the endless cycle of the same results.



    A political parody, not too far from truth

    Recently, Amelia Octavia Complex, democrat and Trump admirer, compared the illegal alien holding facilities to Auschwitz.  Her party did not take the statement lightly but used the opportunity to complain about the facilities. After Trump had them moved, Pelosi and Schumer were apoplectic because the illegals didn't get cable. After Trump gave them each $25,000 out of his own pocket, Pelosi publicly vilified the president for going outside government channels.

    Trump put the illegal aliens up in his hotels, which drew the ire of Schumer, because they had a lot of stairs to walk down if the elevators broke, and still no cable. A problem solver, Trump built each of the illegals a house, again out of his pocket. The entire democratic party screamed, "IMPEACH" because the houses weren't in nice enough neighborhoods, and they still had no cable. No sane person should tolerate this. As a final move, the president gave all illegal aliens citizenship, expecting Pelosi would finally be satisfied. Pelosi stammered and shook, saying that illegal aliens should not get instant citizenship; instead, they needed to go through the official immigration process.




    • Pro Tip: stay out of the Dominican Republic




    Good Morning, Vietnam. Good Night, Georgia

    For tax and other reasons, a lot of Hollywood's filming moved from Los Angeles to Georgia. They were doing well. Since Georgia passed the anti-abortion law, many businesses are boycotting, among them, some of the film industry.  It will be very interesting to see the end result of the boycotts. May the bite you take out of your own ass be large and painful, Georgia.




    • My carbon footprint is size 11




    Let me put your day in perspective

    Penny just returned from a chemo treatment.
    There was a couple who was looking after their mom's dog while she was in the hospital. They got a call that Mom died. Then a staff member came out to tell them the dog died.

    Stay close to your people and pets. Appreciate them every day. You never know...



    • Angela Merkel (R-Germany) has been seen with really bad tremors. It was so bad, her assistant mistakenly called her Hillary. The staff said it was hot outside and she was dehydrated. 
    • Like you, I've seen a lot of people in hot weather (except my Siberian readers), none with serious body tremors. It was painful to watch.



    Politics is Politics:

    The British liberal party just accused the conservative party of being the party of antisemitism. Sound familiar?

    This shouldn't be a problem in a country where it's against the law to say anything bad about anybody online.




    • This week's Word We Can Live Without: staycation




    SJW News

    Toy Story 4 slammed for 'lack of lead black characters and disablism'

    The knitting community is dealing with racism.
    While they're at it, they banned pro-Trump content.




    • An Alabama Ford dealer offered a free shotgun, bible, and American flag when buying a new vehicle.  The promotion stopped abruptly, when Ford Motor Company asked them to STOP IT.
    • It's not like the items aren't going to be in the vehicle the next day anyway..







    and Leon's getting larrrrrger!

    Wednesday, July 10, 2019

    Will the Genders Ever Be Equal?

    The president is holding a conference near where I work.
    I'm sure it has nothing to do with me being asked to take the day off with pay.
    There is a poll on how many times he says 'the best xxx'. Another poll on which one of us can get some quality time interviewing Melania. And $1,000 to the person who asks if this is the first set of implants on a First Lady.

    We had to cancel the poll about the media treating the First Lady like they did the former First Lady (fashion icon and all around wonderful person) because we couldn't find anyone who thought they would.



    Election Overview

    The 2020 election will make history.
    There are 457 democrats running, Trump, maybe another republican for fun, and one of any number of Clintons. The Libertarians (my people) haven't selected a candidate, the Greens get less press than my people, and the Socialist Party refused to support Bernie because he's too socialist.



    Dear lefty:

    • Why are there red spots on my wee wee?
    • Because you'll nail anything that will stay still for 30 seconds.


    Best Headline: "Tornado of poop" hits Massachusetts town after overpressurized sewage line experiences severe blockage.  Everyone wants to be California.





    • Debate Season: when you watch these travesties (from any party), listen to the empty promises, some which don't align with reality, and ask yourself what the person has already done about the promise. The answer is nothing.
    • Note the naked pandering.
    • Remember the last debates. Remember the promises. Do you remember any results?
    • Remember the hot air about things getting better when the opposite party gets into office. What happened? What are you being told now? Same thing.
    • Our memories are short - about four years. Let's go over the script and decide to do something different. If we don't change our actions, we won't change the endless cycle of the same results.



    A political parody, not too far from truth

    Recently, Amelia Octavia Complex, democrat and Trump admirer, compared the illegal alien holding facilities to Auschwitz.  Her party did not take the statement lightly but used the opportunity to complain about the facilities. After Trump had them moved, Pelosi and Schumer were apoplectic because the illegals didn't get cable. After Trump gave them each $25,000 out of his own pocket, Pelosi publicly vilified the president for going outside government channels.

    Trump put the illegal aliens up in his hotels, which drew the ire of Schumer, because they had a lot of stairs to walk down if the elevators broke, and still no cable. A problem solver, Trump built each of the illegals a house, again out of his pocket. The entire democratic party screamed, "IMPEACH" because the houses weren't in nice enough neighborhoods, and they still had no cable. No sane person should tolerate this. As a final move, the president gave all illegal aliens citizenship, expecting Pelosi would finally be satisfied. Pelosi stammered and shook, saying that illegal aliens should not get instant citizenship; instead, they needed to go through the official immigration process.




    • Pro Tip: stay out of the Dominican Republic




    Good Morning, Vietnam. Good Night, Georgia

    For tax and other reasons, a lot of Hollywood's filming moved from Los Angeles to Georgia. They were doing well. Since Georgia passed the anti-abortion law, many businesses are boycotting, among them, some of the film industry.  It will be very interesting to see the end result of the boycotts. May the bite you take out of your own ass be large and painful, Georgia.




    • My carbon footprint is size 11




    Let me put your day in perspective

    Penny just returned from a chemo treatment.
    There was a couple who was looking after their mom's dog while she was in the hospital. They got a call that Mom died. Then a staff member came out to tell them the dog died.

    Stay close to your people and pets. Appreciate them every day. You never know...



    • Angela Merkel (R-Germany) has been seen with really bad tremors. It was so bad, her assistant mistakenly called her Hillary. The staff claimed it was hot outside and she was dehydrated. 
    • Like you, I've seen a lot of people in hot weather (except my Siberian readers); none with serious body tremors. It was painful to watch.



    Politics is Politics:

    The British liberal party just accused the conservative party of being the party of antisemitism. Sound familiar?

    This shouldn't be a problem in a country where it's against the law to say anything bad about anybody online.




    • This week's Word We Can Live Without: staycation




    SJW News

    Toy Story 4 slammed for 'lack of lead black characters and disablism'

    The knitting community is dealing with racism.
    While they're at it, they banned pro-Trump content.




    • An Alabama Ford dealer offered a free shotgun, bible, and American flag when buying a new vehicle.  The promotion stopped abruptly, when Ford Motor Company asked them to STOP IT.
    • It's not like the items aren't going to be in the vehicle the next day anyway..









    Sunday, July 7, 2019

    Artificial? Yes. Intelligence? No.

    I was listening to some radio the other day. It briefly mentioned weather control. Weather control exists and has existed since the Civil War, when the combatants realized all that gunpowder going up to the clouds caused it to rain. Weather control is certainly one reason why the weather is so unbelievably messed up. The east coast seems to have more clouds than sun. I'd study it scientifically, but I don't need that kind of depression. Other explanations include climate change, global warm showers with massage, and the hot air coming from the White House for the last 50 years.



    Dear lefty:

    • What's eating you today?
    • You.
    • I want to recommend this blog to a friend. How would you describe it?
    • Hostile to democrats. And republicans. And Social Justice Workers. And the Stupid. And tv, the outdoors, mowing, Dear lefty questioners, and moving from the couch. Come to think of it, ThermionicEmissions is hostile to most things. This is all care of the CEO of Sarcasm.  How could you go wrong? 



    Things are getting interesting-er in the UK.
    One of the frontrunners, Boris Yeltsin Johnson, of the Very Silly Hair Party, keeps refusing to show up. He didn't show up for Trump and now he won't show up for debates. There was also some sort of fracas with his girlfriend, and the police were called. The press said his personal business is his, then gave his girlfriend's name, the police officers who came to her home, and what she was wearing.  America, let's get those Boris Balloons ready!

    In other news, US news said Trump's personal life is his business, then the entire crew laughed so hard, they had to go to commercial. When they returned, they still had tears rolling down their faces and tried, unsuccessfully, to not laugh during other stories. 


    • 68% of the people are worried about climate change. They vow to do something about it, some day, but only if it doesn't include the parts that affect flying, manufacturing, cars, and trucks. Other than that, they're quite motivated.
    • Science is being done on this problem by looking into other things that are cleaner than coal, like burning politicians instead. This will fail miserably, as there's no substance there. They don't burn long. Or so I hear.



    After walking around a mall with Mrs lefty, my legs started to hurt all over. It's obvious to me that I need to spend more time on the couch.



    • Bernie Sanders says "It's not appropriate" to deport illegal aliens that don't follow the law in the US.
    • Change is inevitable, but imagine your grandfather's reaction to a socialist running for president, who doesn't think it's appropriate to deport lawbreakers.


    I pick on Dog the Bounty Hunter mercilessly, for obvious reasons.
    His wife, Beth, has been admitted to the hospital and is in a medically induced coma. She has had multiple cancers but there is no information on the current admission.

    ThermionicEmissions wishes her best of health and peace to her family.


    • Wanna learn more about browsing and privacy? Wired has a very good, human language description of desktop and mobile browsers and their privacy features.
    • Walmart and Amazon want to look inside your house and keep video notes.


    A Las Vegas professor shot himself in the arm to protest Trump.
    This would be the second person to shoot themself over Trump. There probably won't be any calls for gun control over this, as these are the people who are calling for it.

    Meanwhile, the White House is bridging the divide by giving out free guns to its enemies.



    • Thailand's Wild Boars soccer team marks its first anniversary of going missing in a cave and their subsequent rescue.
    • Some removed the roof of their house, some won't leave the house, and most won't bathe. On the bright side, you never have to wait in line to go cave exploring.


    The Mars Rover has discovered high levels of methane.
    We now know that the Martians fart a lot - global warming is coming to Mars! 



    • After the tv series Chernobyl, people are flocking there for tours and taking selfies.
    • P.T. Barnum is in hysterics from his grave. You will never go hungry, overestimating the stupidity of people. Because you can't.
    • Buoyed by opportunity, tours are planned for Fukushima, Three Mile Island, and the underwater caves in Thailand. There is light at the end of the tunnel: these people will die sooner.
    • Just announced: (highly) discounted tours to the Dominican Republic, where you can take selfies with in-room microbars.



    So, how about that climate change?
    One immediate reaction is moving toward zero emission vehicles. In English, this means electric cars. Most sane carbon-based lifeforms agree that zero-emissions is a good idea. I'm not a scientist (or ballerina) but what about the electricity to run and charge these cars? I suspect it's not zero-emissions. What about the batteries - how long will they last? What do we do with them when they fail? How much will it cost to replace them? These are some valid questions we haven't seen addressed in the mad rush to sell and purchase electric cars.  

    I drove a hybrid for a few days and liked it. I'd buy one, but I don't trust batteries, per the above questions. The adjusted miles per gallon figures aren't that impressive, though. Battery technology continues to improve but I have a feeling we're too early in the process and will get bitten at the back end (in the back end).



    SJW News

    Article:
    "How can our future Mars colonies be free of sexism and racism?"

    CNN:
    A black, transgender and disabled model just landed her first major magazine cover.  


    Saw this on Twitter:

    1919: “Work is tough: I had to be recruited to work a job in the munitions factory handling TNT and other poisonous substances without appropriate protective clothing, because the job was vacated by so many men who had to leave to fight in a world war”
    2019: Vice Magazine: Work Sucks, Especially When People Get Your Pronouns Wrong.

    Pronouns for multiple personality disorder:
    You (plural but NOT singular), they, them, all youse







    Thursday, July 4, 2019

    Your Car is Racist

    Things must be getting interesting in England, where candidate Boris Johnson (R-New Jersey) has just been accused of racism and stoking unrest. Gee, where have we heard something like this before?  Tune in next week for The Bizarre Hair Club for Men special.


    Today in the news, there is none.
    CNN is in hysterics, trying to cram everyone who has negative things to say about Trump running for re-election on the air.
    FOX is overjoyed with the announcement, running clips from the rally and having a giggle at other 'news' outlet clips, every one damning Trump.

    So it's SNAFU - Situation Normal, All F'd Up.

    But wait, there's actually a development....
    FOX has a bible study program.
    A bible study program.

    Well, it's their station, their clear bias, but a bible study program?
    I'm certain it's trademark Fox, but putting cameras in the study says something about the network as well as the participants. If I were in that group, I'd strenuously object because cameras change things and I wouldn't want my private thoughts and feelings aired on tv (I have a blog for that - STOP IT!).

    Not even an illusion of propriety.




    Blighty


    • Another candidate for Minister of Prime Beef is a fellow who looks like Howdy Doody, always smiling, with lips that don't entirely make it over his teeth. If he wins, how will the good people of the UK know when he is happy or sad? He'd have to hire a press secretary to report bad news because he always looks happy about it.
    • Do you hear that? It was the sound of my British reader closing this site for the last time.
    • The duke and duchess of TV Coveridge, Henry or Harry something, are getting praise for their work with the elderly. The other day, a motorcycle in their security detail taught an 83 year old woman how to fly. The security motorcycle hit her and up she went. What goes up came right down, and now she's in the hospital ('in hospital' in British). The duke and duchess, asked for comment, said, "The woman had a lot of nerve, being in the way of our security detail.  At her age, she should know better. We'll invite her to the palace and introduce her to the Queen's stunt double. That should keep the lawsuits down to a minimum. Oh, is this microphone on?"



    645,000 clients are affected in Oregon Department of Human Services data breach. It started as a phishing expedition and an employee bit. Human engineering is a huge security hole that can't be reliably plugged. This stuff ain't new.



    Dear lefty:
    • Why are women of color objecting to dictionary.com's definition of black?
    • Because 'words hurt'. The people complaining lack basic knowledge of language and comprehension.
    “If a young Black person saw and learned these definitions for ‘Black,’ they would be unintentionally learning to hate themselves. The statement: Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words do not, is untrue,”...


    Trojan, world famous maker of latex hand warmers, has a new social media campaign: if you're one of the 59% of men who are unhappy with the shape or size of your hand, comment with [hash]PrideInMine.

    Yes, you can advertise to millions that your appendage is tiny and misshapen. It will also do wonders for your love life. Win/win.




    • Two drones have been downed near Iran. These cost $180 million each. Your tax dollars at work.



    There is a charity in England that gives out free healthcare for pets of the homeless. This is a wonderful humanitarian gesture. And I'm thinking of how much we've spent on vet care/cancer treatment....




    • The Supreme Court has ruled that a large cross monument to WWI soldiers can stand in Maryland. They consider it history moreso than religion. 
    • This is the Supreme Court. Aren't they supposed to uphold the First Amendment, among others? 
    • Rest assured if someone put an upside down cross there as a monument, we wouldn't be having this discussion. 
    • All veterans deserve a monument.



    It could be worse: you could live in Horry County, South Carolina.





    • We noticed an elderly lady with some brightly colored doodads on her walker. When Mrs lefty complimented her, her daughter said, "She's 102."
    • We asked the lady about her secret for long life, as she was walking out of the Red Meat Emporium.
    • When I make 102, if my helper announces my age to every stranger who walks by, I will run her over with my walker. And again with my car.





    Note to Libertarian party members:
    We have a better chance than ever to make numbers this election. We definitely dropped the ball last time. Amid calls for donations and advocacy, let's take a page from the business world: dress for success.  It kills me to make appearances a key point, but it's reality. My last search for candidates showed a broad swath, mostly dressed like and looking like a loose IT department. Let's stop looking like mountain folk and groups with cotton candy-colored hair if we want to be taken seriously. While suits don't convey ability, you had better wear one to a job interview. Why don't I knock on doors or carry signs? Because I look like some sort of rock star reject, and wouldn't want people to think this is what we are. I scare people. 

    When we debate, just showing up is points. Standing next to the established party clowns should be of immense help on its own. Knowing talking points and having enthusiasm are also mandatory. Let's not repeat Gary; that was an opportunity to score big.

    We should also have a VP candidate that isn't a republican and doesn't identify strongly with them in interviews and practice.

    It's a long, tough road, with established parties throwing up roadblocks because they're scared of us. As our numbers get higher, libertarian points are starting to creep into the established platforms. At very least, that's where we can do some good. We're not going to win for a long time, but we're making inroads and getting heard. Now all we have to do is let half of the country know there is another party.

    Be safe out there and vote FOR, not against.