Some Things Suck More Than Other Things

Former President Barack Obama has reportedly asked Jay-Z to encourage other hip hop artists not to meet with Donald Trump following the firestorm of publicity over Kanye West. I cannot verify this, but it's a good one.

If I were Obama, I'd call and ask Jay-Z to encourage other hip hop artists to attempt real music, if at all possible.

• A South Carolina NAACP leader accused the police of racial profiling when they pulled him over. He told his passengers not to move because the officer looked like he was going to shoot them. He claimed that the police accused him of having drugs in the car and what was he doing in that neighborhood.  
• Bodycam footage shows the officer not shooting anybody, not accusing him of having drugs in the car, and not asking what he was doing in that neighborhood.
• The man was not racially profiled - he failed to use his turn signal.
• Uh-oh, NAACP. The Race Card<tm> seems to have failed you.

Arizona is planning for INCOMING in case California has an earthquake.

Plans include portable Starbucks, smog trucked in from Los Angeles plastic surgeons to do emergent nose and breast jobs, individual tent mansions, indoor parking for Mercedes and up, and a stage for Berkeley to protest anything and everything, 24 hours a day. And no paper bags - only plastic.

Arizona is counting its blessings, already having way more than their share of illegal aliens, but hasn't yet figured out what to do to make the Californians comfortable around guns, which everybody owns. Because of their inflexibility on this issue, California has passed a resolution condemning Arizona's effort to help them and stating that they will boycott the state, preferring to take their personal environmentally green aircraft to a more friendly, socially conscious state, like... well.... they'll get back to us on this.

• Starbucks has ordered all locations to allow anyone to sit or use the rest room, regardless of whether or not they're customers.  Starbucks' regulars are worried about the place looking like a homeless camp. The only people pleased by this are the people who don't go to Starbucks. They're laughing so hard they see spots.

In a welcomed event for all airlines, today's headlines involve a passenger. Sort of.  Some old guy verbally and physically assaulted two women and touched one sleeping female passenger and later asked another woman about her sexual and marital life. Ok, here's the part where the airline could have done a bit better: they moved his seat, whereupon he urinated on the seat in front of him. He was arrested upon landing, then offered a movie deal by Adam Sandler.

• Speaking of Adam Sandler, a bunch of masked students recently ran into a school with water guns and firecrackers. I love me some black humor but there are some things even I won't do. High School Me is laughing and applauding.

In yet another giant step backwards for England, it is now going to protect its citizens from the 'wild west of the internet' by enacting new laws on social media. Those wacky Brits are heading down a dangerous path at record speeds. No knives over 3", no vegetable peelers or carpet knives, no swearing in public, continued refusal to drive on the correct side of the road, and jail time for insulting people online. What will they protect their citizens from next week? And are the citizens awake enough to notice this, no less do something about it?

• Oh God no - please... I just discovered a show called Paris Hilton - My New BFF. It was the last minute of the show, thankfully, as I was already pulling my hair out and losing the contents of my stomach from the last week. Have we truly reached End Times? Can they possibly come up with anything more inane, self-absorbed, or totally without redeeming content? I'll bet they can.

My hell is your entertainment, hopefully.

Let me start by saying that every f-ing time I try to order something online, I miss shopping in-person. And when I shop in-person, I miss online convenience.

Having said that, Amazon is cancer.

Just for fun, let's add two people who tend to be alpha in certain situations.

Don't use my account - I can't do it now, create your own.

Ok, I created it. It will only give me 2 day delivery if I do a trial of Amazon Prime.

Ok, do it.

No, we already have Prime. It's attached to your account.

Ok, fine, I'll do it on my phone. Write down what you want.

Write down? With a PEN? I can't do that. You don't want to see that.

[2 minutes later]

Is this what you wanted?

No.

I don't see it then.

So I create my own account and am ready to hit GO, when I realize they're going to charge me TAX. Originally tax was only charged if the seller was in the same state. I am not aware of an Amazon here, so I'm thinking the thieving bastards in the State capitol legislated their hands into our pockets. Again. To make matters more interesting, the shipping is taxed too.

Perhaps it would be helpful if Amazon used a little-known retail trick called Model Number. Sssshhhhhhh - it's a secret.  Think about this... we have two different computers with two similar searches and two different results. In fact, the item I'm looking to spend money on can not be brought up on her search at all, in any way.

We're doing our best, but the Strangle Urge is surfacing in both of us. Since Amazon is not physically present, it gets directed at each other [marriage counselors take note].

There are reviews, you know.

These headphones are almost the quality of my $300 Bose headphones.

These headphones suck.

These headphones are too tight.

Ignore the other reviews, the headphones are plenty large.

People tell me I sound like I was in a fishbowl.

The sound is crystal clear over the phone.

and these are the products with near 5 star ratings.

Finally I gave up and had her order something that looked similar with similar features. Both of us are alive and relatively unscathed. The dog is hiding upstairs, terrified of his parents. The police just left, but it's taking the SWAT team a while to get out of their vests and pack up the Armored Personnel Carrier the army gave them.

• It's been the saddest time in my car's life. Actually our life. Ever since the CD changer broke, we've had nothing but broadcast radio to listen to. Have you experienced the horror?  So I have to procure a new one.
• I know everybody has new stereos, with all sorts of whiz-bang features, but this is all new to me. I really like the Bluetooth compatibility. This will allow people in the back seat to play music, even if somebody in the front seat is already playing music.  It's a veritable bonanza of fun. Some units come with a remote control. WTF do you need a remote control for?  Again, the back seat people are laughing hysterically, playing with the controls. And they get all this fun at no cost to themselves!  If only they could Bluetooth the car for unplanned acceleration, help with the turn signals, and rolling up the window when the policeman is talking to the driver.
• I distinctly remember replacing the stereos in my very old cars. In fact, I wake up crying, screaming, and cursing precisely at 4am, so I will never forget. In fact, crying, screaming, and cursing is precisely what was required to get the box into the dash. Crutchfield makes it look so easy, with the adapters and recommendations and wire harnesses and B&D gear. It's their job to make it look easy, because they're total bastards and just like to make people suffer. At no extra charge.
• It's not that I'm old, but I don't trust any stereo that doesn't have knobs on both sides of the display.

Ever wonder what information Apple has on you?

Most of it is metadata, such as your IP and the IP you're going to, but not the content. You might want to have a look (I would, if I used any of their products). As harmless as this might look, any information can be combined with certain other information or details to come up with information you don't want anyone to have.

• So, just because the most hated entities in every category, cable providers, haven't been in the news in the past three days or so, Comcast has what's technically referred to as a Biggie. Your account and password has been exposed to the known universe. 
• Once again, a business entity has blamed 'a bug' for what is just Stupid Lack of Security and Human Error.
• Armed with an address and account number, anyone could get your login and password. Isn't that spiffy? The answer will come to you in plain text, as opposed to encrypted.
• Comcast removed the 'bug' and spoke thusly:

• "There's nothing more important than our customers' security," said a Comcast spokesperson. "Within hours of learning of this issue, we shut it down. We are conducting a thorough investigation and will take all necessary steps to ensure that this doesn't happen again."
• Translated: "There's nothing more important than not getting caught," said a Comcast spokesperson. "Within hours of learning of this issue, we shut it down. We are conducting a thorough investigation and will take all necessary steps to ensure that we won't get caught again." 

Speaking of cars, BMW has made security its top priority after learning that many cars can be accessed with a few dollars of parts. Let's face it - nobody wants anybody to steal or mess with their car.  BMW is terrified of the possibility that a hacker will re-enable the long dormant turn signals.

• a New York high school will use CCTV and facial recognition to enforce discipline. This is the beginning of the slide. "It's for the children" was the cry for anything against the Fourth Amendment after 9-11. Now it's school shooters and discipline. The system will watch everything and identify the student 'after their picture is uploaded to the system'. Big Brother is now in school. Then of course it will be the little children, because we have to 'keep them safe'.

MIXED BLESSINGS

The ACLU sent a letter to Amazon, demanding they not provide their AI facial recognition system, Rekognition, to the government.  I like this.

The system can track people in crowds and identify them. You know governments everywhere will want it.   I don't like this.

The ACLU's letter includes: 

"...the company’s product is primed for abuse in the hands of governments, poses a grave threat to communities already unjustly targeted in the current political climate, and undermines public trust in Amazon"  We do not like the president and he spies on people.

"Particularly in the current political climate, we need to stop supercharged surveillance before it is used to track protesters, target immigrants, and spy on entire neighborhoods. We’re blowing the whistle before it’s too late.”  We really do not like the president, it has serious 4th Amendment concerns, and we really like illegal aliens."

“We already know that facial recognition algorithms discriminate against Black faces, and are being used to violate the human rights of immigrants,”  Racism! We like to think illegal aliens have rights as non-citizens of this country. We have completely lost our focus as a group.

• Securus, the previously mentioned company that gives law enforcement your phone tracking information, got hacked. 2,800 logins and passwords were stolen. The irony is thick.

NOT THE ONION
Our good friends over at Faceyspaces (UK, US, Canada) are asking you to send them your intimate photos to stop revenge porn.

No, really.

"..photos will only be seen by "a very small group of about five specially trained reviewers"

Sure they will. Because everybody respects privacy, especially at Faceyspaces. Just send us your naked pictures and we promise not to look at them.

we shall never see another and we are the worse for it

Knock Someone Out for Boxing Day

A nice and considerate new reader pointed out that this blog hurt her eyes (which was only fifty percent of my intention when 'designing' it). That the image of ThermionicEmissions remained emblazoned on her retina, making it difficult to see the next site she went to. This is great news... everyone who leaves this blog will see it in front of them for a short (or long) period of time! If a reader trips and goes down on his eyes, heaven forbid, the image of ThermionicEmissions may be the last thing he sees. Or it might be the only thing he sees for the rest of his life.  Do I need to rethink this?

• One way to introduce invasive new technology is to put it in sports stadiums; where fans have already proved they will swallow humongous ticket prices, fifty dollar parking, regular player strikes, and state money paying for the stadiums. Fingerprint and iris scanners are in place in several stadiums, as a kind of line-bypass, like our friends at the TSA offer pre-screened fliers (and now some stadiums) - because metal detectors and bag checks weren't enough. In addition to identification, this allows tracking of fan behavior and purchasing habits, raking in even more money for the stadiums. To add insult to injury, you will pay $179 for this privilege. Yo, sports fans... bend over... again. It's for the children.

A New York to France flight had to be diverted because the toilets on the 767 were all broken. With all of the in-flight backups airplanes have (all systems in triplicate), in the end it was toilets that grounded the plane. It's shit like this that makes passengers mad.

• Last night was the Kennedy Honors. Among others, the Eagles were celebrated. At one point, Steve Vai joined others for a note-for-note rendition of Hotel California. As much fun as this was, the real attraction was watching the stone-faced Eagles and the outgoing president at times.

This past year has had no shortage of hilarity emanating from California. Guess what... the year isn't over yet! The San Francisco police union is suing the city for the right to choke citizens and kill fleeing drivers, citing the recent overseas attacks where vehicles were used. Because the "new policy will hinder officers' ability protect themselves and the public from killers behind the wheel."

They coulda just said It's for the children. Knowing California, it's a small miracle that they didn't outlaw trucks and cars.

The next piece of legislation will require police to identify lawbreakers and give them a ride home or to a Safe Space of their choosing because we wouldn't want to hurt their feelings or make assumptions as to their race, color, what species they identify as, or sexual orientation.

• As if enough people had not left the planet in 2016 thus far, someone took advantage to hack Britney Spears' Twitter account to post a poorly-worded tweet, allegedly from Sony, that she expired. To back this up, they hacked Bob Dylan's Twitter account to send condolences. And just a few days left in 2016...
• Speaking of death, there is a Kickstarter to raise money for a person to guard Betty White. He will guard her in any way necessary. If Mrs White decides this service is not necessary, all the money donated will go to a designated theater charity. Noting Betty's ability to stay alive thus far, I don't think she'll need any help.

A Tacoma, WA. Cheesecake Factory refused to serve some armed police officers recently. One of the officers posted this to Cheesecake's Faceyspaces page, prompting a statement from Corporate, apologizing for the mixup and blaming it on the restaurant manager's misunderstanding of the policy, which stated that uniformed and armed officers were allowed to possess arms. I guess the manager mixed up allowed to posess arms with not allowed to possess arms. Heh heh, simple mixup anyone could make. It's like celebrity death: Britney Spears is dead. Oh wait, we got that statement mixed up with Britney Spears is not dead. A simple mixup.

• There is a place in Asia called Johor Baru. This is less important that the fact that a man there is seeking a refund for an exorcism, because the exorcist failed to drive off the spirits afflicting his father. Hey, do you suppose we can get refunds for wives and other relatives?

One cannot, and I can't emphasize this strongly enough, eat a steak sandwich with a straw. Along these same lines; no, I don't want to go to the doctor tomorrow to see your ear wax. These were two things that happened today and I am not going to say anything more.

First selfie with found object - 1940

Crunchy Turfroggy

Are you considering buying a 'smart' device for your kid? Take this quiz first.
Are you ready for Black Friday? Here are some security tips. Good, basic stuff.

• Viagra has been found in the South Korean presidential offices. No idea why this is a problem, but I urge the South Korean president to keep it up.

The creator of the Broadway musical Hamilton has said that Donald Trump is welcome to attend. In completely unrelated news, a new character has been added to the musical, John Wilkes Booth.

• An Australian woman who abandoned fourteen cats which ate each other is being charged with cruelty. I think the lady should be put in prison and forced to eat her cellmate but I don't make the laws. This also proves that all your suspicions about cats are true.

Remember Tomagotchis? The stupid little video 'pets' on a stupid little electronic device? They recently turned twenty. Tomagotchis were one of the early signs that civilization, as it were, was doomed. Kinda like a 1990s version of reality television.

• Obama gave out 'Medals of Freedom' the other day. He choked up when presenting one to Ellen DeGeneres. This is one time I feel solidarity with Obama - I'd choke giving her an award too, except possibly 'Most Annoying Voice'. Or the 'Who Thinks She's Funny' medal, referred to as the Seinfeld Award.

The British government's chief whip keeps a tarantula on his desk. Apparently this is a problem. It turns out the government cannot figure out what a 'whip' is. Meanwhile the whip, in an effort to minimize governmental trauma, has offered to exchange the tarantula for his other pet, a black widow.

• Donald Trump looks like he will appoint Nikki Haley, democratic governor from South Carolina, as ambassador to the UN. The appointment is dependent on her changing her name to something less porn star-ish. Trump's rationale is to put her where she can do the least damage and the UN would be the definition of least damage.

Turkey's president, Tayyip Erdogen, has fired 15,000 state employees since the attempted coup in July. Since the US gives billions of dollars to most countries, I'm all for sending a few his way, in exchange for a consulting job for the US government. The savings will more than make up for the 'aid'.

• Retailers, not satisfied with Black Friday sales, are offering them even earlier, proposing a number of changes for the Thanksgiving season:
• Black Friday will hereafter be known as Black November
• In a bid to appear magnanimous and sensitive to Family, retail employees will no longer have to work all Thanksgiving day; allowing them to eat dinner with their families, between the hours of 2am and 3am.
• For the safety of customers and employees, armed guards will be posted at all entrances, equipped with flash-bang grenades and tear gas, in case the special deal on the one remaining flat-screen tv causes a riot. Snipers will also be positioned on the top shelves of the toy aisles, if any customer draws notice to an item being out of stock. Customer Service personnel will be issued handguns and pepper spray and informed that any refunds will come out of their paychecks.

Ex-CIA General David Petraeus indicated he will serve in Donald Trump's administration if asked. While a position has not been named, two possibilities are Secretary of Secretaries and Secretary of Affairs.

• As if the holidays were not depressing enough for some people, the New Kids on the Block/Paula Abdul tour is now on the road, nicknamed "The Sad, Sick, and Lonely, Suicide Tour" As if that weren't enough to push you over the edge, Wendy 'Frankenstein' Williams and Jerry Seinfeld are also touring, creating a torture chamber near you.

Hey, are you longing for that Tesla but simply can't afford it? Simply hack the mobile app and steal it!

• In another bit of Governmental Fun, this time a Navy laptop was hacked, to the tune of 130,000 current and former sailors (personal information, including Social Security numbers). It's a good time to be in some sort of governmental employment. And when I say good, I mean Get the F- Out.
• Just in case you're still hungry for leaks after Thanksgiving, State Farm, Sheet Metal Workers Union, and Anchor Loans were discovered to have leaky databases. No word on how much data, if any, was stolen.

Faceyspaces has developed a censorship application, so it can get back into China. Keep in mind that if they can censor this particular information, they can censor virtually any information. What a tool this could be, eh?

While we're on the topic, the CEO of Reddit decided to relieve some pressure by messing with some messages, taking out his name and replacing it with moderators of /r/the_donald for about an hour, then admitting to it. This is an international site, with all sorts of user interaction and contributions. Also a site using censorship. The /r/pizzagate subreddit was just shut down because it's 'fake news'. By fake news, they mean user-investigated information into pedophiles and Satanic Ritual Abuse among elites in the government. Coincidence? The group moved to voat.com, where you can find all the information. This is not tinfoil hat. This is tinfoil hat stuff that was known and talked about for years and the facts are just leaking out, via the Wikileaks John Podesta emails. Don't take my word for it - do the research. My own relatives were shocked when they did.

• There is now a 'smart trash can', complete with smart phone app. I do not dare even go to its site but one can only wonder what kind of capabilities it has....
• alerts when can is full
• calls trash removal service to pick up
• lets you know you ordered more proprietary bags
• 'intelligently sorts' trash from recyclables, which means it will separate candy wrappers from wax paper and mistake tin cans for paper because of the labels. It will also spank the cat if it uses too much litter.
• When hacked, approximately fifteen minutes after it is plugged in, it will surrender all of your credit card information and start to hack the Pentagon. When the CIA drops by, it will sit there and pretend to be a dumb trash can.

I just found the new love of my life on reverb.com (a sort of Ebay for musicians). It's a 1958 left-handed Fender Stratocaster, at the bargain price of $35,000. Mrs lefty said to go ahead! The only remaining question is where we're going to live when we sell the house.

Marshall Strikes Again

For once, it's not what you think.
I found myself, certainly not by accident, at the Philly Guitar Show. The amplifier company known as Marshall, named after my dog, Marshall, put out a cute little series of amps called Code. They were being demoed at a booth at the show. It was an adorable little thing (models from 25 watts up) and I haven't bought anything in I can't remember how long. The 1958 lefty Stratocaster I saw last week was $60,000, so I figured it might have to wait a little while. I saw other Interesting Stuff at the show, which I will detail in another post (I know you're waiting anxiously).

The salesguy's main point was that this little guy could be controlled by your phone, using BlueTooth. Yes, instead of turning the knobs on your amplifier, you could turn them on your phone (android and the other one - I checked). While this might be nice for someone who has mobility issues, I can turn a knob with the best of them.   One of the things Marshall forgot to advertise was that the box is so sharp that it will give you a Cardboard Cut. So I bled for a bit, which is never a good thing. Passing out while driving is not encouraged, except for some places in Philadelphia.

I don't know if this is part of getting older or one of my many deficiencies but I don't get nearly as excited as I used to when I was younger. It took me a nap and a few hours to get around to trying it out. I opened the box, without urge to take pictures or video of the box and posting it on YouTube for everyone to see. This is actually a thing: you take video of the box and opening it. They call it 'unboxing'. There is usually no actual information or tryout of the item in question - just physically taking it out of the box, plus a few shots of the device itself. We're a weird bunch, we are.

Setting something up in my house is a unique challenge, requiring lots of cursing and being assaulted by cables, grabbing and twisting themselves around you like a cat who's in the way and demanding attention. Or a constricting, venomous snake. Putting aside a very jealous Fender Mustang amp, the last next-to-couch amplifier venture, I fired the bugger up. It has that cute Marshall white script logo. One day I'll take a picture of it with Marshall the cocker next to it and send it to Marshall Amps. It's got all sorts of blinky lights, which should keep the current generation of Faceyspaces players interested. I declined to play with the BlueTooth feature, exercising my rights to turn knobs. Since I have the attention span of a pregnant gnat, I chose to go through the outrageous presets to get an idea of what it could do (unfortunately it could not vacuum, but at least I wasn't expecting it, hence very little disappointment).

The little beast is actually pretty cool. It came up rather rapidly, as it has no tubes in it. It makes some fun noises, from old clean to high-powered stacks of LOUD amplifiers. It will be fun and hold my limited attention for a while. No, it's not quite my large Marshall, but it's not supposed to be. And Jeebus, this bit was certainly much larger than I had intended.

• Watch the skies for the Supermoon. You will be able to identify it by its humongous size and its red or blue cape, depending on time of year and temperature coefficient.

Samsung is buying Harman International, provider of sound systems and components for cars, in a push toward smart devices. And apparently exploding cars.

• Reince Preibus: why? When vetting him, they should have tried to figure out where his name came from. Or what planet.

Here's a little ditty called "So You Think You Can Be A Morning Person" Seriously? I know they're supposed to exist but they're very rare in the wild.

• Ok, let's call a timeout in the War on Elections. The left needs to stop damaging stuff (and people). The right needs to stop gloating and deifying the president-elect (as the left would if their candidate got in). It's time to get on with things. (Libertarians, you can keep crying quietly)
• And while we're on the topic, I've seen a LOT of foreign commentary and concern around the election. It's odd to see foreigners more wound up than some of the locals. One day I hope to be so frustrating that I cause demonstrations and riots in foreign countries. I'm a simple man, with simple desires.
• I can't forget this: VP-elect Mike Pence is seriously anti-abortion. In a move that could only happen in 2016, people are making donations to Planned Parenthood in his name. For each donation, notice is sent to him. Laughter is the greatest form of protest. Or something.
• About these protests: I harken back to when Obama was elected (both times)... remember all the fun we had, rioting in the streets, peeing on or own shoes and setting babies on fire? Good times.

Yet another NFL Sports Dude has sat out the national anthem before a game, over the 'joke' election.  Now I'd sit out the national anthem to protest the national anthem being played, but we're getting a little silly here. South Park suggested they invite everyone to sit or stand for the anthem, which would thwart some of this nonsense. If the players are seriously upset, I encourage them to not show up for games for a year and donate their salaries to an appropriate charity, like the Kneeling Sisters of Beryl, or some other deserving group. That should bring the entire brouhaha to a screeching halt.

• I hope my New Zealand readers are ok after their serious earthquake. Two people lost their lives, which is probably two people more than read this blog from New Zealand.

Signs Signs Electrical Signs

Don't try this at home, kids; it's illegal (and very funny)

• The latest Internet of Things (IoT) problem: poorly designed and unsecured devices can turn your android phone into a tracker. A large problem was fixed on Belkin devices, which could hack your phone via their app that runs on the phone. Food for thought.

When I first saw the browser plugin Web of Trust, I installed it. It checks the trust level of a website and alerts you to how safe it is. There was something I didn't like in the terms and I uninstalled it. It was discovered to be harvesting browsing histories and selling them to advertising agencies. WOT claims the data is anonymised but investigators were able to identify fifty people from the data. If you're using WOT, I suggest uninstalling it.

• The election is over. People are mad. People are happy. Some snark seeping in. We should go counter to my my normal inclination and look on the bright side: no election commercials!

It has taken me years upon years to finally figure this out: do not put things up against other things, unless you want the dog to rearrange the things. I don't know if he fancies himself an inferior decorator or just likes moving stuff, or thinks he's a cat. Nothing is safe. This has been a public service announcement.

• One thing I've discovered around the election: people in other countries are heavily involved, and opinionated. The sad part is that some of them are much better-educated on the facts than Americans. Two of the biggest commentators I've come across are from the UK - they discuss like it's their election.

In case you haven't gotten your fill of buzzwords today, about ten percent of The Cloud is already infected and waiting for you. This includes Amazon and Google.

• I hope you're enjoying all the protesting and people shouting "He's not our president." Meh - let them protest - it's their right (right up until they damage stuff). One will remember that when Obama was elected (twice), there were no protest or riots or "not my presidents".
• Speaking of Obama, how about that Hope and Change? Twice.

Another very significant event in this election was the complete and utter failure of the media and their predictions. A while back someone told me to ignore the media and they were beyond correct. Mainstream media is controlled by six corporate entities. This is not a conspiracy theory - look it up. I strongly urge you to either ignore the MSM or at least balance it with some reliable internet news sources.

• California wants to secede from the United States. I say let them. Let's build a wall to keep them out.

In Poland, the army will teach women hand-to-hand combat for free. Just as soon as the navy rectifies the problems with the screen doors in their submarines. Wow, that was incredibly sophomoric, which is why you come here.

• Welcome to ThermionicEmissions, where my own family does not dare come. Ok, except my wife, but it's her duty to humor me.

Please enjoy THE voice, Ronnie James Dio (RIP)

Feel the Johnson

About 200 million Yahoo account credentials were just dumped online. While there is no indication if the theft is fresh, it won't hurt you to change your password. One of my friends got hacked last week.

In fact, it wouldn't hurt you to change any or all of your passwords. Make them secure. If you're not sure what secure is, do a little searching online with your favorite search engine. I use duckduckgo.com, which doesn't track you.

• I don't wanna say I work with some interesting old folks, but the guys in the next cubicle are discussing the need for sheetrock and the fact that one of them had a half sheet that he just threw out. No, wait, he gave it to his son. Then he proceeded to describe it. It's been a year and a half and I still don't understand this place.

More earth-shattering (stupid) news: our friends over at Apple have changed their handgun emoji to a green water-pistol. Hopefully they will not reproduce. Next up: Apple changes phone shape to round, so you can't 'point' it at anyone.

• I think I'm experiencing Political Burnout. Or General Burnout - I can never tell.

ISIS has threatened the Olympics. In Portuguese. Unfortunately the Google Translate results came out like this: "Your mother is a dumptruck. We fuck goats. We will masturbate in stadiums, to images of pork and pork products."

Just in case they're serious, some of the Olympic sports have been 'adjusted':

* The 100 yard run from explosions

* Throw the javelin at the terrorist

* The itsy bitsy, teenie weenie, yellow polka dot pork bikini pageant for women and men

* The 50 foot dive while keeping your AK47 dry

• The World Health Organization has endorsed a 42 second hand-washing method. Compulsive hand-washers all over the planet rejoice.

Non-political message: Trump called Hillary the devil.

Please put your own punchline in a comment. The winning entry will be included in the next post. There will be no monetary compensation but maybe I can manage a candy bar. Probably not.

• A Dutch man waiting for an online girlfriend to show up, spent 10 days in a Chinese airport. Between the 2 of us, I don't think she's coming, Dude.

I know it's early, but can we have a remake of "Suicide Squad" starring Congress?

• This is Bachelor Week at ThermionicEmissions, as Mrs leftystrat is off tending to two sick parents. Rest easy - Marshall and I are ok, except for figuring out how to hide the hookers and blow Marshall ordered while I was at work. The wife is likely to notice the charge on the credit card.
• The Good Neighbor is concerned, as Marshall has spent less time outside, commanding her to bring him food. Speaking of which, he was so hungry the other day, he ate his own food.
• Marshall also turns up his snout at tap water. We have to put it in a spring water bottle and refrigerate it until cold. My relatives went to Disney and brought him back a water bowl that is very difficult to tip over, as he does when it's empty. At least he has something to occupy his creative side. Meanwhile, I take the water bottle out of the fridge and announce "Special Spaniel Water." He runs to his bowl and drinks the water as I pour it from 3 feet up. After he's done drinking, he paws the water out onto the floor. Nobody knows why.
• Are you getting the picture of life in my house yet?

Donald Trump made few friends the other day, when he kicked a baby out of a Virginia rally. I don't know why people are upset: when I go to a restaurant or on a plane, I always ask for the No Screaming Baby section.

• An Australian woman just became a mother at age 63. Has this possibly gone too far? Who does she think she is - Mick Jagger?

A lawsuit has been filed against the makers of Pokemon Go over players trespassing on private property. Unfortunately, you still can't sue for stupidity.

• A leading Irish Archbishop has said he will stop sending his trainee priests to study in the country’s main Catholic college due to allegations of a “gay culture.”  Still no word on the "pedophile culture".

It has already been established that California is the Land of Fruits and Nuts but the Hollywood Set is particularly affected. The following was heard at the DNC:

"Our president is brilliant" - John Legend
"I Love You, Barack Obama" - Alyssa Milano
"I don't expect to feel as proud of a president in my lifetime as I feel about Obama" - Michael Ian Black

They appear to be living in a different universe.

Get the hell out of here before you get me SHOT

Hey Vanna - the Welsh Would Like to Buy a Vowel

It's not every day you see a body hanging from an exit sign but hell, this is New York. My interest in this item is not specifically the dead body. My interest is the reaction to the dead body. Two people took to Twitter to post intelligence about this new social phenomena. In the past, news cameramen, upon seeing a man on fire, were accused of choosing to film the event rather than helping the poor burning man. Now we have seen the next chapter - motorists, rather than calling the police and doing something useful, post on social media. Granted, the man in question was beyond help (we think), but in my paleolithic mindset, it might be a better idea to get the incident investigated than letting four of your closest followers know about it. I suppose we should be thankful that he didn't take a selfie with the body.

Great Social Commentator #2 referred to the incident as 'a man hung himself'. I'm thinking that hanging from a sign on the Queens Island Parkway might indicate the fellow being suicided, but we'll let the proper authorities determine that.

• It's not the first time a couple has had sex in an airplane bathroom. But it's probably the first time a Norweigian Air stewardess made an announcement, congratulating the lovebirds, who were reproducing. Flight safety was not compromised, so the police were not called. In the US, the TSA and FBI would have been waiting for them, heavily armed, with jail sentences.

Travel+Leisure Magazine listed the fifteen least friendly cities in the world (by survey). Six were in America. The seventh overall least friendly city (you know where I'm going with this) is Philadelphia. Most of the listed cities are tourist destinations, therefore you'd think that friendliness would be a given. To hell with stereotypes - France made it to the list also.

• President Obama is touring the remote regions of Alaska to bring attention to how climate change is affecting Americans. No mention of his Shell drilling approval. Further, in a sad turn of events, Air Force One will be bringing the president back to DC.

Feminists are angry that Kermit the Frog's girlfriend is young and thin. My immediate thought is why the hell not - the last one was a real pig. My next immediate thought is that this is an awful lot of hot air for an old green puppet. Note to feminists: he's not real. He's not sentient. He's made largely of cloth. His maker died years ago. If advancing feminism is important to you (and if this is actually feminism), perhaps you should set your sights on targets that are more, perhaps, alive. You know, something important. Why didn't anyone complain when his girlfriend was large?

• A recent survey revealed that 15% of men would have sex with a robot. The other 85% are lying.

Forty years after a great step for mankind, Russia is planning to go to the moon. That will be one damn long line for toilet paper, Mr. Putin.

• French prosecutors have said they believe "with certainty" that a wing part found in July came from missing flight MH370. Yes, some sixty days later, the French were able to ascertain that the plane part came from flight 370. In the next six months, we shall see the French coming forth with more tremendous, timely research, such as verifying that the plane part was (with certainty) white and that it was made of a metal-like substance. There is simply no way to keep the plucky French down! Relatives of the MH370 dead are breathing a sigh of relief. Meanwhile in Malaysia, the government had previously said it believed that the flaperon belonged to MH370. Malaysians certainly aren't the French, are they?

Please don't take my word on it. It was just World Sex Day and here are the words of the professionals - the many benefits of having more sex. It helps with illness, stress, brain, youth, longevity, and kills pain.

• Skinheads(?) have burned crosses into the lawn of a New York mosque. Hymie Schwartz, a spokesman for the Jewish League, said he was overjoyed that Jews all over New York got the week off from lawn care.

Nine biodefense laboratories that work with dangerous viruses, toxins and bacteria, have experienced an immediate freeze on operations by the Pentagon, due to the discovery of live anthrax outside a containment area at a military lab in Utah.   I feel it time that someone with some small amount of sense step in and clean up this problem. The Pentagon has proven itself somewhat less than careful, conscientions, and competent in the handling of many biological agents, mostly anthrax. Like a child who proves he cannot handle playing and putting away his toys, our Boys in DC need to be called on the carpet for their Anthrax Accomplishments. Shipping it (and ebola) all over the country 'by mistake' and finding it 'missing' are but the latest two rounds of the Keystone Kops - Viral Department. Has anybody mentioned the anthrax mailed to 'random' congresscritters years back? Anthrax isn't a new technology, folks. If we can't safely handle it by now, maybe we should take up less lethal ways of killing people (and ourselves, apparently).  Perhaps it's time to take away the viruses, toxins and bacteria and send these boys and girls back to whatever it is they do best.

In News of Irony department, snakebite antidote is running out.

• In the age of the GPS, a friend discovered that you can not only find Home Depot, but you can identify where each department is within the store. We have come so far. Have we?

Pope relaxes Catholic marriage rules: it's now ok to marry little boys. Oops, sorry... it's now easier to remarry.  

Philadelphia Pope Tour 2015 - Nothing's Sacred: Philly's mayor shocked to discover people are scalping tickets to see the pope, referring to it as trifling in his neighborhood. I wonder where he grew up.

• A businessman caught on camera urinating into a coffee cup while working in someone's home drops out of running for Canada's parliament.  Hopes to make it to US in time for presidential election.

The US Air Force has laid down an ultimatum to a Nevada landowner who has been there since before 1940 to sell or they will condemn the land and sieze it. National Security, you know. Oh yeah, it's near Area 51. They do so love their land grabs. The last one, around the 1980's, took more land so people couldn't get close to Area 51 to observe.

• Hillary "2nd Amendment" Clinton is for a 25% national gun tax.  Next up: a 50% tax on free speech.

Russian man unhappy with cosmetic surgery shoots surgeon then himself. You have to admit, it's a lot more effective and immediate than a Yelp review.

• Vatican conservatives are not happy with the current pope. I hope he doesn't wind up as Pope Kennedy.

Security Theater, Part 97: You know those TSA keys that will allow ('only')them to open your luggage at airports? The TSA, in cooperation with the Washington Post, published pictures of the keys, allowing anyone to make a complete set (not that it was difficult to pick in the first place). This is precisely the backdoor FBI Director Comey wants for encrypted phones. Do you trust these people with your security?

• Waco police pulled a gun from a woman's vagina during a drug bust. Police offered her $100 to fire it before they removed it.

TECH SPOT

Eight in ten internet-connected baby monitors receive 'F' grade for security flaws. Listen up, folks.. these things are garbage. If you MUST have one, do some research first. Learn which is the right one for you and how it needs to be secured. Or buy one that doesn't connect to the net. And secure it.

Fiat Chrysler has recalled almost 8,000 Jeep Renegade SUVs to update software that could allow vehicle hacking. Yes, I really need a car with a black box and remote access by hackers. And GPS. And a cellular modem that connects whether or not you're using it. And your driverless car can be hacked by a $60 gadget.

An Israeli security company has built a version of Windows that's "unhackable".  A security company should know that if you can touch it, you can hack it. And why use an inherently insecure operating system?

M-M-MUSIC

Whatcha got?

I got Paul Gilbert.  The last few selections were of the non-virtuoso variety. I've corrected that here. Paul is a fleet-fingered master of the fretboard. You'll notice a sense of humor in his playing and delivery, which I really appreciate. He's one of the guitarists who can play faster than you can listen but also does Tasty Stuff.

Let's get the Obvious Hit out of the way: To Be With You. Paul did this song with his group, Mr. Big. Eric Martin, the vocalist, is a highly underrated singer. This particular version seems to be a gag, with all sorts of extras thrown in and Paul singing. The headphones are hearing protection. How he pulls off the wheedly-ing while singing is a feat of physics and multitasking.

Addicted to That Rush is a great Mr. Big tune. Billy Sheehan, the bass player, is every bit Paul's equal on the low end. He played for Talas, David Lee Roth (with Steve Vai) and others. The song has dueling virtuosos plus great, memorable hooks. Both Billy and Paul have their own signature instruments.

Paul was in a shredder metal band called Racer X. This is a song from them called Scarified. Dig the flurry of notes, the tone and the funky astronaut motif.

Why Are There Lemon Bars?

When you first come upon ThermionicEmissions, after the shock and horror has worn off, please check out the Pages, found right above this text. Recent additions are the timeline for Hillarygate and Windows 10 cautions.


In a recent survey, 88% of adults said that they have sexted with someone -- 82% in the last year. So prove the psychologists right and get busy with those phones. Sext someone today. Your SO, your mistress, your relatives, random strangers...

• A Microsoft study finds technology hurting attention spans. Walrus!

Here's a Sad and Funny: Imagine if everything were priced like cable service.

• The Army wants you to watch more tv! No, really... the freedom of our nation depends on it. Read about how the crap that passes for entertainment fits in with the Army's plan... specifically mentioned was Americans Idle.... I told you so.

On the one year anniversary of the Ferguson riots, fifty people looted a beauty store, after an otherwise peaceful day. The residents are apparently upset because the police are infringing on their right to riot.

• Who woulda seen this one coming? London's gay establishments are closing due to tolerance. It's almost no fun being gay anymore.

China has been reading the emails of many top US officials. Not their secure government emails... their Gmail and other provider emails. Why are government officials using Gmail? Why did Hillary have her own server for official government businesss?

• Bob Guccione Jr has declared that today's music is no good. Stars are more interested in their social media strategy than their music.  Are you serious Bob?  Did you just come to this momentous conclusion?

Ready for the Internet of Things (IOT)? Already there's a drone that can map and hack it. Watch out what you're plugging in at your home.

• Greece has reached a deal for third bailout. What could possibly go wrong?

Hillary Clinton says all work-related emails from her private server were provided. She went on to emphasize that Bill did not have sex with that woman.

• The EPA has apologized for saying that it was cleaning up abandoned mines in Colorado. What they meant to say was that it dumped a million gallons of toxic chemicals in to the Animas River in Colorado, causing the water to turn a bright yellow.. In other news, the EPA has apologized for saying that a million gallons of toxic chemicals have been dumped into the Animas River in Colorado. What they meant to say was three million gallons of toxic chemicals have been dumped into the Animas River in Colorado. Fox reporter Megyn Kelly has blamed the spill on Donald Trump. UPDATE: the EPA says it was 'very careful' (when spilling three million gallons of toxic chemicals into the Animas River in Colorado).

In North Carolina, a man in a clown costume swung an axe at a woman. The woman was not hurt, recognized the man and swore out an arrest warrant. What has this country come to when a man can't dress as a clown and swing an axe at a woman? Isn't this why Ben Franklin fought the Germans? 

• President Obama issued an executive order calling for a massive boost in the power of supercomputers. The president also called for repeal of gravity and quantum adult novelties.

In a banner day for politics, California Governor Jerry Brown (ex-Linda Ronstadt) signed a law banning the word alien from the state's labor laws. Also banned were the words elephant, dingleberries and sanity.

• Astronauts declare the first space-grown salad awesome. California Governor Jerry Brown immediately signed a law banning space lettuce from the state, saying it disenfranchised undocumented lettuce-pickers.

Three people were hurt when pranksters entered a theater in Newport Beach, brandishing a leaf blower. A common thread in these attacks is theaters. California Governor Jerry Brown has signed a law banning theaters from the state. The governor refused to comment on leaf blower legislation at this point.

• Meghan Trainor (All About that Bass) has cancelled the rest of her tour due to 'ongoing problems with her vocal cords'. In other words, even Meghan realized there is nothing there.

Why yes, there is a machine that turns poo into water. Watch our presidential race flow (further) down the drain!

• Think you live in a funny place? Try Licking, Ohio.

Padi the labrador's fate is in the hands of a judge. He is accused of biting a 4 year old child. The child chased the dog and threw things at him. The only fair solution is to put the child down.

• Marijuana farms have been engulfed by the fires in California, releasing smoke in the area (causing a marked increase in the number of flights over the farms).

A woman used her Fitbit (heartbeat measuring device) during sex and posted the results online. The Fitbit “started after foreplay, so the preceding 20 minutes are untracked,” (she bragged).

DR WHO?

I'm going to take a left hand turn, being a left-handed kinda guy. Most of the musical treats here will be guitar players. Today is a rare piano player, although he does technically play guitar (rarely). I give you Mac Rebbenack, aka Dr. John. Dr. John has been around forever and is a fixture everywhere, no less in his Louisiana neighborhood. I saw him open for Little Feat, which was my pleasure.

One of my favorite Dr. John tunes is Iko Iko. This song tells the story of the collision of two tribes of Mardi Gras Indians. The words are flat out impossible to understand or write out, without visual aids and copious amounts of New Orleans Hurricanes (the drink that's just to the right of the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster). 

Iko. Iko. Iko Iko unday. 

Jockamo feeno ah na nay

Jockamo fee nah nay.

I strongly suspect it means I've fallen and I can't get up.  Another translation is Respected gentleman, your mother is a garbage truck.

The next tune came up on my player's rotation. In a Sentimental Mood caught me completely by surprise. Completely free of guitars, I was not prepared to like this song so much but it leaped out and hit me over the head, gently.  Lastly, you know this song. If you don't, you're either ten years old (and shouldn't be reading this blog) or you missed it while you were at the Miley Cyrus concert. I used to sing this song with my not-so-talented cover band. Listen to the tasty guitar solo... (I had to get one in there).

Jared's Folly

You think because I referenced Subway that I'm going to have a whack at Jared and the allegations of kiddie porn. Or a poke at Subway for the quality of their sandwiches. Or even the old bit about twelve inches not being twelve inches. But noooooo....

Every week I go to lunch with a friend at Subway. Exactly every two weeks, a large, loud African-American woman starts SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS at the poor Indian guys behind the counter. The specific topic doesn't seem to matter, but it generally revolves around a feeling of being owed something. The volume will start loud and then go through the roof. The entire (alleged) restaurant goes quiet, as the woman ratchets up in temper and volume. She badgers the hell out of an employee across the counter. This is made more interesting by the two-way language difficulties.

Eventually somebody will threaten to call the police. One arguer kept telling the employee to 'GO AHEAD -CALL THE POLICE', as she backed out the front door. Another encouraged calling in a tone that shook the building, as her girlfriend/partner got up to the cash register and yelled even louder.

An African-American couple looked at each other uncomfortably and left without finishing their food.

Finally one of the employees decided to end the play by giving the bellowing monster what she wanted. I'm going to guess this was to end the noise (our ears were bleeding) or because if he called the police, he'd be retired long before they arrived. In Philly, the police cannot be bothered to show up unless you specifically say GUN.

After it was over, I stood up on my chair and yelled `YOU... I'M GOING TO STAND HERE AND SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS UNTIL YOU GIVE ME WHAT I WANT.'  The restaurant laughed and applauded. My job there was done.

As we walked out, we noticed six policemen approaching, obviously by accident. I wanted to suggest they come back in two weeks.....

• What in the multiverse is up these days?  When I read the news, I often wonder when we officially switched to 1984 or some other science fiction novel set in some black, ugly future. The nonsense was piled upon us a piece at a time, so most of use didn't notice (the Kardashians were on). Every time I read a story about immigration, my head spins. Let me see if I understand this correctly:

1. We are allowing hundreds of thousands of (mostly) Mexicans to stream across the border, due to it being largely porous. If we're that concerned about 'terrorism', why are we allowing this?
2. Our border with Canada is sealed tight, as are the international airports.
3. The occupant of the White House and his accomplices welcome the illegals, referring to them as undocumented.
4. The illegals are treated to healthcare, education and drivers licenses, on our dime. We, who can't afford our own insurance, are forced to subsudize insurance for people who can't be bothered to follow the immigration laws of our country.
5. An administration that won't enforce its own immigration laws.
6. An administration that fails to deport illegals in most cases, even after they commit serious crimes and sneak back repeatedly.
7. DC wants to give illegal aliens the right to vote.

• So tell me - what's going on here? Am I completely missing the point? Am I so turned around that I'm abnormal(moreso) and this situation is perfectly ok?

Speaking of insurance, I had a real Insurance Experience the other day. My wife went to pick up some meds and was told the insurance refused to pay for them because they needed a precertification.  Mrs. leftystrat has been on this medicine for five years and it's cheap and generic; no reason not to pay (other than the fact that insurers don't want to pay any claim). The pharmacy faxed a form to her doctor for precertification.

A week later(!), she called her doctor to see where the process was. As it turned out, the process wasn't. No record of request or action so they said they'd call the next day.  I should mention that it's a good thing we had a backup supply: if this were an antidepressant, she'd be shooting from the roof or in schoolyards by now.

The next day the doc's office told her it should be waiting for her at the pharmacy. A little later she the office called back to say that the pills weren't entirely waiting for her at the pharmacy. The insurer called the pharmacist but he was being uncooperative [no way this could be true- they're like family]. 

The wife gave up and paid cash for the meds. This was NOT alright with me. I got on the phone with the drug coverage people, who wanted the prescription number. There is no prescription number, so I cursed a bit and hung up. Then I called the main number, waited whilst being told how valuable I am, eventually arriving at an actual human. SHE explained that there's a medical coverage I.D. and a drug coverage I.D. The insurer approved the medicine under the medical I.D. and whenever the pharmacist tried to put it through, it got rejected. This person grasped the situation immediately (she'll be fired next week) and said all we had to do was move the precert from one number to the other (I almost fell out of my chair). 

You know what's coming, right?

She couldn't transfer the precert - she had to connect me with the Precert Department (aaaaaaaaaargh!).

The Precert Department did not tell me how valuable I was, which was a harbinger of things to come. Earl answered the phone and I explained (slowly and patiently) the situation. He was much more interested in the dosage and amount of the medicine than actually fixing the problem. Then he stated he could fax a form to the doctor to get the process started. I kept telling him (slowly and patiently) that the process was already started: all he had to do was move the precert. He kept telling me (slowly and patiently) that he would fax a form to the doctor to get the process started. Once again I explained to Earl how easily it could be fixed. Once again Earl said we'd have to start the process over.

It was at about this point that I decided it would be best to dispense with slowly and patiently. I raised my volume and lowered my pitch, explaining to Earl that I needed them to pay for this medicine TONIGHT and how was he going to make that happen?

At this point I heard a higher-pitched YAAAAAY! The pharmacy called my wife and said it finally went through... there was celebrating (and we ate Robin's minstrels). I bid Earl a fond adieu, only to discover that the insurance company only covered half the cost of the pills.  Ain't insurance grand?

• Speaking of insurance (and we were), I found an article stating that insurers are asking for twenty to fifty four percent cost increases next year.  HUH?  It seems that because more people are insured (thanks, Obama), the insurance companies (who wrote the laws) aren't making money on the deal. What was Obama's response? Call the state regulators and tell them to examine the rate increases carefully. Why is it that he and the rest of the criminals aren't run out of office hastily? We got screwed last year and now they're adding another helping of Screwed Soup. 
• Everybody who voted for Obama, raise your hand.  Good - YOU pay for my insurance. It's YOUR fault. 
• And don't go voting for Hillary, you kool-aid drinking socialist New World Order sycophants.

So there are three children whose parents are going through a nasty divorce. They refuse to see their father so a judge, full of good intentions, sentenced them all to Juvenile Detention for the entire summer. It came down to a pissing match between three recalcitrant children and a judge. In these cases, the judge always has the bigger member, even if female, as is the case here.  Aparently the kids really don't want to visit Dad, as all of them chose detention over visitation. This would be funny if it weren't so serious. Who are we kidding - it's funny now.

• Portland, Oregon, has taken on a very controversial Neighborhood Beautification Program. When I was young, it was common to throw your old sneakers over the power lines. I have no idea why. In Portland, they are doing the same thing, only with dildos. Just like sneakers, they are going up in pairs, in beautiful white and bright orange. Bright orange? I didn't know they came in bright orange. Excuse me.... I have to run an errand......

A divorced couple is fighting over frozen embryos. The female half wants to insert them into a surrogate, which isn't going over well with the male half.  Hey - leggo my embryos!

A Moment of Music

These guys have been slagged off unfairly, as a copycat band and as a grunge band. Stone Temple Pilots are a refreshing surprise of musicianship, writing, versatility and heroin abuse.  Their hits, and there have been many, are typically loud and raucous. I appreciate some of their more complex songs, which they can't play live, as they're overdubbed and there are too few musicians to reproduce them.

The DeLeo brothers, Dean and Robert, play guitar and bass, respectively. Robert doesn't get recognized for his contributions, which are solid yet busy and sound like James Jamerson (Motown). Dean plays many instrument flavors and tones, making things very interesting to the ear.  Eric Kretz is a drummer in the pounding style of John Bonham (Led Zeppelin). Scott Weiland is a very talented singer with a lot of baggage. Twice, after appearances on the Howard Stern Show, he went back on heroin.  Scott is bipolar, which probably drives this behavior. He's a great frontman, a real chameleon. He was let go and replaced by Chester Bennington, of Linkin Park. Personally I'm not thrilled but he's certainly decent.

Daisy is a rare instrumental. One of Dean's secret talents is slide guitar. He sets his tone beautifully and really uses his slide lyrically, instead of the 'normal' slide routine.

One of STP's surprises is their variety. You can listen to five songs and not know it's the same band. One of my favorite STP tunes is Atlanta. Listen to this and tell me you don't hear the Doors.  Hello It's Late is another change of style. Does this sound like their hit Plush? One of my wife's favorites is Bipolar Bear. Note the acoustic going into the faster chaotic electric section. Like Jimmy Page, DeLeo is a master of layering and many tones. There are all sorts of things going on here that can't be accurately played live, although they manage to pull it off.

These guys play to serve the song - no heroics, except for the whole.  Listen and love.

Houthi and the Blowfish

RARE TECH ITEM
Every now and then I veer off this blog's satirical/sarcastic bent to mention a tech item or two (not doing so is what got me thrown off my last platform).  Let's start with Windows.

Microsoft products are unsafe at any speed by design. Fact-based reminders that Windows is not designed for security, regardless of version, patching, day of the week, or whether the NSA is itchy or not that week.

• We interrupt this tech segment to bring you urgent ancient music news: have you ever noticed how bad the snare or snapping sound is on Tom Jones' It's Not Unusal is? It's way up there in the Annals of Bad Sound.  That aside, you can hear the guitar semi-clearly too and it's a good thing: Jimmy Page (you know, Led Zeppelin) played it. Jimmy and John Paul Jones were on a huge percentage of hits out of England around this time.

AUDIO TECH ITEM

I'm not what you'd call a fan but the Grateful Dead were certainly tech pioneers. No, really. From mass communications to tapers and p.a. systems, the Dead were at the forefront (even though some of them were occasionally waaaaay at the back).

• Back to the TPP. As you may remember, the president has negotiating power for really bad trade agreements and Congress has a Yes/No vote. This was rushed through and I can't imagine why. It turns out to be a gift to Big Pharma (Big Surprise). This document was kept secret from the public (the most transparent administration in history). They really need to go.

I ordered some stuff online. It took about a week. Then I ordered something else from the same place. Today I got a confirmation that my order had been updated to Shipped status. Great, I thought... I'll get the item quickly. Oh, wait a minute, they used USPS tracking. I checked online and found out that my item had been shipped and arrived in my mailbox six days ago.  Yes, six days later, I got confirmation I received the initial package. Such speed and efficiency.

• I don't know if it's circumstance or simply taking notice, but I have heard the word peculiar quite a number of times this week. Give a listen for it. It's not the sort of word one hears often, yet it plagues me like the past, in which Tom Petty haunted me no matter where I went or what I was listening to or watching.

My dog wanted to perform a bit of science the other night: he wanted to know if I could fly. This took the form of standing up as I was carefully walking around and over him. As it turns out, not quite as carefully as I had at first thought. The science proved that I cannot fly so much as plummet, slipping on some handy papers and bouncing off the coffee table onto the floor. So the dog has his answer and fortunately I have nothing but a very painful (and near-fatal) knee scrape to show for it.

• Speaking of cats, have you ever noticed that cats have a sixth sense? They know where you're going to be and place themselves there a split second before you do. As was recently suggested, it's because cats are assholes. This also explains why the cat drapes himself over the path to any door so the dog won't cross him. The dog would gladly walk a mile in the wrong direction rather than cross the cat. This is extremely puzzling, as the dog will walk right up to the cat's food bowl and nudge him out of it.

According to just-released court documents, Bill Cobsy purchased Quaaludes in order to give them to women before having sex with them (does anybody remember 'ludes?).  I guess groups of over twenty women aren't imagining things.  In an effort to make amends, the Cosby Estate is offering Rape Mansion Tours, complete with 'vitamin pills' and free drinks. Rape victims and women in general are encouraged to make appointments for personal tours.

• Wanna know what makes the country go round?  An agreement to curb Iran’s nuclear program could create a bonanza for U.S. defense contractors who already are benefiting as the Obama administration tries to assuage Israeli and Gulf Arab concerns by cutting deals for more than $6 billion in military hardware.

HOW ABOUT SOME MUSICAL MALFEASANCE?

Sho' nuff. This weeks installment of The lefty Report features that little old band from Texas, ZZ Top. Jimi Hendrix referred to Billy Gibbons (gtr, voc) as a great up and coming guitarist - isn't that enough of an endorsement? 

Sure, I could go with the hits and videos everyone knows but that would be boring and atypical. I'm heading for the more obscure stuff that shows another side of the Top.  Let's start with Manic Mechanic, a great tune from the Deguello album, featuring his signature pitch changing effect on vocals. ZZ likes to throw in some humor from time to time, along with some really cool musical tricks. Next we have Heard it on the X, a great tune about Down South Radio, a studio tune included on Fandango, a live album. Give it a listen for some smokin' Texas bbq from earlier in their career.

Check out Live in Germany for a great insight into the pre-MTV band. Pay particular attention to Fool for Your   Stockings, a favorite at the leftystrat household - Those stockins are a real cross you must bare.

When Temptation Knocks, Be Sure to Let It In

An Indian journalist has been burned alive after publishing allegations of corruption on Facebook.

Another senseless, Facebook-related death.

• Why do we have laws? Because Obama supporters sign petition to nuke Russia. Although this was a prank, it was signed by many.  This must be why my local news has a social media reporter to share the wisdom of the Great Unwashed. Sorry, guys, I don't need to hear what the people on Faceyspaces have to say- it's not news.

Range Rover automatically detects, reports potholes to government.

In totally unrelated news, government blacklists rangerover.com domain.

• Everybody's favorite stoner, Tommy Chong, has been diagnosed with rectal cancer. Unbothered, Tommy is looking forward to self-medication, with great interest. Let's send Mr. Chong good thoughts.

A study in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, found in 1996, stated: "Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies."  In short, the experiment 'hooked up' a bunch of men to a measuring device then showed them gay porn. The people most aroused were the ones who were the most homophobic.  Remember this when a politician or religious figure protests too much.

• After much research, I have come to the conclusion that I am deeply offended by houndstooth. I had inadvertently transposed herringbone with houndstooth and wish to apologize to herringbone for the misunderstanding. I have nothing at all against herringbone; I am offended only by houndstooth.

Most kangaroos are left-handed. I was kinda hoping for a more high-profile example but as the ten-percent minority, we have to take what we can get. No word yet on dogs.

• For some reason, it has been decided, wherever it is decided, that Alexander Hamilton no longer has the cache for the ten dollar bill. He will be replaced by an unspecified woman. Even though I oppose this strange idea, let me be a good sport and make a suggestion: Sophia Vergara.

Jeb Bush announced White House bid, saying 'America deserves better.'  And in that spirit, he called off his White House bid.

• France has denounced revelations of NSA spying. As a precaution, France has taken the liberty of surrendering.

Da Tunes

Today's bit of musical fun comes courtesy of Robben Ford. Robben has played with everyone from Miles Davis to Michael McDonald to his own solo career. He's a guitarist's guitarist, while at the same time producing music most people can really like.  Check out Robben and phenom Joe Bonamassa jamming at a tribute to Leo Fender.  Also check out a concert with his band, The Blue Line. Great stuff!

Hold Onto Your Ankles, it's Healthcare Time

I started my job a while back but just became eligible for benefits. This is stupid, as employers can grant benefits at any point. I have been delaying signing up because I didn't want to look at the coverage and costs.
It was worse than I thought.

WHAT?

The recruiter who got me hired gave me a benefits package, indicating that the least expensive insurance came with a two thousand dollar deductible.  Yes, you read that right - a two thousand dollar deductible! Sheer lunacy.  And this was the least expensive plan.

After further research, I realized that the recruiter gave me old information: the deductible was fifty five hundred dollars.  This is, quite frankly, not insurance.  It's catastrophic coverage for the price of very expensive health insurance. To back up a bit, health insurance used to cover hospitalization; you paid cash for doctors. When insurance expanded to cover doctors, rates went through the roof. As rates continued to skyrocket, HMOs were introduced. These promised to lower the cost of healthcare. They failed miserably.

Healthcare, to be truthful, is broken beyond repair.

WHO?

Some of our politicians decided to 'help' fix healthcare. This is never a good idea, yet the current occupant of the White House shoved his plan through. And he touted himself a hero.

And he IS a hero, to the two groups that benefit: the poor and the insurance industry, who won big on this gamble with our money. The poor get insurance, with a financial assist.  Who does the assist come from? Healthier people, who need less services, and people who make more than the poor, whose premiums are jacked up through the ceiling and have outrageous deductibles. The insurers benefit because everyone is required to purchase insurance (thank you Supreme Court) and the government is now the enforcement arm of the insurance industry.

Government has no place in healthcare, especially if it involves fixing things. I only have to point to Medicare, Social Security and Medicaid to make my point. Do you want these people involved with your healthcare? Look at socialized medicine in England and Canada - it's a mess there too. We shouldn't have to choose between messes.

In the end, Obama et al have not fixed the system: they've tacked premiums onto the mess. If he were truly interested in a fix, he'd have fixed the system, not created a new mess. But we know where his interests were. We also know that the insurance companies drafted the law.

I have a decent job, thankfully.  Unfortunately, a huge percentage of my income goes to healthcare already, for my wife. This is also due to the insurance nightmare, plus the same group of thieves who messed with insurance earlier and raised rates and screwed Medicare recipients via their Donut Hole, wherein insurance doesn't have to cover much medicine after a certain amount, no matter how sick the insured.  So we can add my wife's premiums and payments and non-covered items to my healthcare coverage, which turns out to be four hundred dollars per month, plus the aforementioned fifty five hundred dollar deductible.

The number one cause of bankruptcy is medical expenses. Fix THAT, Obama (and puppetmasters).


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There is simply no way to top that, so I'll just throw in a few Mental Health Musings:

• I’m depressed and dyslexic: it takes me forever to get out of deb.
• I long for the good old days, when bipolar disorder was manic depression.
• My wife has multiple personalities: they all hate me.
• My brother is a healthy depressed schizophrenic: the voices are too tired to speak to him.
• My other brother is a drunk schizophrenic: his voices just slur and tell him they love him, man.

MUSIC MAN SAYS...

My first guitar idol was the Ultimate Lefty: Jimi Hendrix. Jimi occupies a special place in my heart. He died in 1970, way too soon and way too early for me to have seen him live. The man practically invented rock guitar, no small feat. He also put Marshall amplifiers on the map (oh, is that why you named your dog Marshall?). We still have not caught up to Jimi.

There is no way to pick one great Jimi song, so I'll give you one of my favorites: Manic Depression. This song never fails to get me going - it should do the same to you, with it's catchy hook, great rhythm and a drumbeat that tends to confuse drummers.

There are precious few songs that reach down into me and make the hair on my neck stand at attention. This is one - Jimi's version of the Star Spangled Banner at Woodstock. No one had ever made those noises with a guitar before. Or since (I can do a poor impersonation).