Friday, September 18, 2015

Hey Vanna - the Welsh Would Like to Buy a Vowel

It's not every day you see a body hanging from an exit sign but hell, this is New York. My interest in this item is not specifically the dead body. My interest is the reaction to the dead body. Two people took to Twitter to post intelligence about this new social phenomena. In the past, news cameramen, upon seeing a man on fire, were accused of choosing to film the event rather than helping the poor burning man. Now we have seen the next chapter - motorists, rather than calling the police and doing something useful, post on social media. Granted, the man in question was beyond help (we think), but in my paleolithic mindset, it might be a better idea to get the incident investigated than letting four of your closest followers know about it. I suppose we should be thankful that he didn't take a selfie with the body.

Great Social Commentator #2 referred to the incident as 'a man hung himself'. I'm thinking that hanging from a sign on the Queens Island Parkway might indicate the fellow being suicided, but we'll let the proper authorities determine that.

  • It's not the first time a couple has had sex in an airplane bathroom. But it's probably the first time a Norweigian Air stewardess made an announcement, congratulating the lovebirds, who were reproducing. Flight safety was not compromised, so the police were not called. In the US, the TSA and FBI would have been waiting for them, heavily armed, with jail sentences.

Travel+Leisure Magazine listed the fifteen least friendly cities in the world (by survey). Six were in America. The seventh overall least friendly city (you know where I'm going with this) is Philadelphia. Most of the listed cities are tourist destinations, therefore you'd think that friendliness would be a given. To hell with stereotypes - France made it to the list also.

  • President Obama is touring the remote regions of Alaska to bring attention to how climate change is affecting Americans. No mention of his Shell drilling approval. Further, in a sad turn of events, Air Force One will be bringing the president back to DC.

Feminists are angry that Kermit the Frog's girlfriend is young and thin. My immediate thought is why the hell not - the last one was a real pig. My next immediate thought is that this is an awful lot of hot air for an old green puppet. Note to feminists: he's not real. He's not sentient. He's made largely of cloth. His maker died years ago. If advancing feminism is important to you (and if this is actually feminism), perhaps you should set your sights on targets that are more, perhaps, alive. You know, something important. Why didn't anyone complain when his girlfriend was large?

  • A recent survey revealed that 15% of men would have sex with a robot. The other 85% are lying.

Forty years after a great step for mankind, Russia is planning to go to the moon. That will be one damn long line for toilet paper, Mr. Putin.

  • French prosecutors have said they believe "with certainty" that a wing part found in July came from missing flight MH370. Yes, some sixty days later, the French were able to ascertain that the plane part came from flight 370. In the next six months, we shall see the French coming forth with more tremendous, timely research, such as verifying that the plane part was (with certainty) white and that it was made of a metal-like substance. There is simply no way to keep the plucky French down! Relatives of the MH370 dead are breathing a sigh of relief. Meanwhile in Malaysia, the government had previously said it believed that the flaperon belonged to MH370. Malaysians certainly aren't the French, are they?

Please don't take my word on it. It was just World Sex Day and here are the words of the professionals - the many benefits of having more sex. It helps with illness, stress, brain, youth, longevity, and kills pain.

  • Skinheads(?) have burned crosses into the lawn of a New York mosque. Hymie Schwartz, a spokesman for the Jewish League, said he was overjoyed that Jews all over New York got the week off from lawn care.

Nine biodefense laboratories that work with dangerous viruses, toxins and bacteria, have experienced an immediate freeze on operations by the Pentagon, due to the discovery of live anthrax outside a containment area at a military lab in Utah.   I feel it time that someone with some small amount of sense step in and clean up this problem. The Pentagon has proven itself somewhat less than careful, conscientions, and competent in the handling of many biological agents, mostly anthrax. Like a child who proves he cannot handle playing and putting away his toys, our Boys in DC need to be called on the carpet for their Anthrax Accomplishments. Shipping it (and ebola) all over the country 'by mistake' and finding it 'missing' are but the latest two rounds of the Keystone Kops - Viral Department. Has anybody mentioned the anthrax mailed to 'random' congresscritters years back? Anthrax isn't a new technology, folks. If we can't safely handle it by now, maybe we should take up less lethal ways of killing people (and ourselves, apparently).  Perhaps it's time to take away the viruses, toxins and bacteria and send these boys and girls back to whatever it is they do best.

In News of Irony department, snakebite antidote is running out.

  • In the age of the GPS, a friend discovered that you can not only find Home Depot, but you can identify where each department is within the store. We have come so far. Have we?

Pope relaxes Catholic marriage rules: it's now ok to marry little boys. Oops, sorry... it's now easier to remarry.  

Philadelphia Pope Tour 2015 - Nothing's Sacred: Philly's mayor shocked to discover people are scalping tickets to see the pope, referring to it as trifling in his neighborhood. I wonder where he grew up.

  • A businessman caught on camera urinating into a coffee cup while working in someone's home drops out of running for Canada's parliament.  Hopes to make it to US in time for presidential election.

The US Air Force has laid down an ultimatum to a Nevada landowner who has been there since before 1940 to sell or they will condemn the land and sieze it. National Security, you know. Oh yeah, it's near Area 51. They do so love their land grabs. The last one, around the 1980's, took more land so people couldn't get close to Area 51 to observe.

  • Hillary "2nd Amendment" Clinton is for a 25% national gun tax.  Next up: a 50% tax on free speech.

Russian man unhappy with cosmetic surgery shoots surgeon then himself. You have to admit, it's a lot more effective and immediate than a Yelp review.

  • Vatican conservatives are not happy with the current pope. I hope he doesn't wind up as Pope Kennedy.

Security Theater, Part 97: You know those TSA keys that will allow ('only')them to open your luggage at airports? The TSA, in cooperation with the Washington Post, published pictures of the keys, allowing anyone to make a complete set (not that it was difficult to pick in the first place). This is precisely the backdoor FBI Director Comey wants for encrypted phones. Do you trust these people with your security?

  • Waco police pulled a gun from a woman's vagina during a drug bust. Police offered her $100 to fire it before they removed it.


Eight in ten internet-connected baby monitors receive 'F' grade for security flaws. Listen up, folks.. these things are garbage. If you MUST have one, do some research first. Learn which is the right one for you and how it needs to be secured. Or buy one that doesn't connect to the net. And secure it.

Fiat Chrysler has recalled almost 8,000 Jeep Renegade SUVs to update software that could allow vehicle hacking. Yes, I really need a car with a black box and remote access by hackers. And GPS. And a cellular modem that connects whether or not you're using it. And your driverless car can be hacked by a $60 gadget.

An Israeli security company has built a version of Windows that's "unhackable".  A security company should know that if you can touch it, you can hack it. And why use an inherently insecure operating system?


Whatcha got?
I got Paul Gilbert.  The last few selections were of the non-virtuoso variety. I've corrected that here. Paul is a fleet-fingered master of the fretboard. You'll notice a sense of humor in his playing and delivery, which I really appreciate. He's one of the guitarists who can play faster than you can listen but also does Tasty Stuff.

Let's get the Obvious Hit out of the way: To Be With You. Paul did this song with his group, Mr. Big. Eric Martin, the vocalist, is a highly underrated singer. This particular version seems to be a gag, with all sorts of extras thrown in and Paul singing. The headphones are hearing protection. How he pulls off the wheedly-ing while singing is a feat of physics and multitasking.

Addicted to That Rush is a great Mr. Big tune. Billy Sheehan, the bass player, is every bit Paul's equal on the low end. He played for Talas, David Lee Roth (with Steve Vai) and others. The song has dueling virtuosos plus great, memorable hooks. Both Billy and Paul have their own signature instruments.

Paul was in a shredder metal band called Racer X. This is a song from them called Scarified. Dig the flurry of notes, the tone and the funky astronaut motif.

No comments:

Post a Comment