Monday, September 7, 2015

White KKK Leaders Outed as Blacks

Headline of the Month: Jared underage sex shock - Enjoy a foot long in jail!

  • Follow the script, people: In St Louis, police shot and killed a black man who pointed a gun at them. There were protests. People threw bricks and bottles at the police. The police used tear gas. A car was set on fire and businesses were burglarized. Days before, a 93-year-old Tuskagee Airman who lost his way pulled over in the neighborhood to call his daughter and was robbed. When he asked passersby for help, he was carjacked. 

Animal rights activist beaten with duck in Spain. Spain - a country of irony. Next week: Hillary Clinton beaten with a server.

  • Mexico orders toll for pedestrians crossing border. Note there is no toll to get OUT of Mexico.

Three Americans and a Briton receive France's top honor for thwarting subway attack.  The gunman, with an automatic weapon and handgun, claims he was only there to rob people. After the Legion of Honor ceremony, France formally surrendered to the heroes. You think I'm kidding? "...passengers were abandoned by staff, who ran and locked themselves away in a service room."

  • Fire broke out as a result of an explosion at a US Army base in Japan. Nothing is known about the explosion at all but the Army is positive that it is not the result of terrorism and that nobody important got hurt.

BBQ Gentrification:  Just when you thought you'd never go near a restaurant again, we are apparently in the early stages of a barbecue boom!  And since we didn't know about the boom, we also didn't know to wonder whether the food's African-American roots are being forgotten. See all the thoughtful shit we bring to you?

  • Sharing child care improves sex lives of couples. Actually, not having kids improves sex lives.

A 3-D printed violin? Very early in the process but this has great potential. Never mind that it's not made of wood (BURN HER!).

  • What do the Bangkok bombing and Auschwitz-Birkenau have in common? People are taking selfies there. We are a sick planet. I used to work with a comic who imagined a terrible traffic accident and some guy in a minivan who told his wife and kids to go over there and stand near the body - I'll take a picture. Gawker Culture at its best.

Duing a counter-protest to the Planned Parenthood protest, Temple of Satan members 'drowned women', simulating water-boarding to "illustrate the theocratic agenda imposed upon female bodies."  Satanists - always fighting for your rights.

Woman's body stolen from funeral home.  Perhaps they can return it for the $20,000 reward once they're through taking selfies with it and posting them on Faceyspaces.

  • Guess who's the worst president in history? Although there are tons of eligible candidates, only one came up on top. I won't spoil the surprise (his name rhymes with push).

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer - they're easier to bomb when you know where they are.

  • This week is one of many anniversaries: Windows 95 (Zero Factor Authorization) is 20, linux is 24 and Katrina is 10. Leo Fender would have been 106. I stopped at 18. And September 26 is National Dog Day.

Remember the female Viagra pill that got turned down twice by the FDA as ineffective and unsafe? Due to pressure from the manufacturer and women's groups, it has been approved. Now women can have their own horribly expensive pill that probably won't work and causes all sorts of negative side effects! What a win for equal rights.

  • A man was stabbed outside the screening of "Straight Outta Compton". In other news, two men were sued outside screening of the reissue of "Fiddler on the Roof".

I just figured out who's flying all the drones around airports and a recent incident near a prison: the Secretary of the Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services is going to ask for up to $400,000 per prison for drone detection equipment

At the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, this won funniest joke: "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free."  If this sort of thing appeals to you, go to the link. If not, here's a lovely picture for you:

Hey Hey, it's the Music!

C'mon - everybody's favorite guilty pleasure is The Monkees. From their Prefab Four moniker to their tv show to their recent tours, they're stronger (and older) than ever. Contrary to popular perception, they did play their own instruments after a while, including at concerts.  Unfortunately Davy Jones passed away a few years back. Fortunately Mike Nesmith rejoined after many years' absence and tours ensued (I saw them twice last year). Their tv show was very successful, as they were very good in front of the camera and the writing was of high quality. The show survives in syndication and has returned every little while, to great acclaim. New generations keep discovering The Monkees - for good reason.

You probably know Daydream Believer, featuring Davy on vocals and Fab Dance Moves. It's a great sing-along and clocks in at 2:46. Davy was a child star (like Mickey Dolenz) and stage actor. Enjoy the wacky antics of the group and the really trippy set.

The lads did not confine themselves to recording and television - they also made a movie called Head (cowritten by Jack Nicholson). There were many contemporaries in the film, including Annette Funicello, Dennis Hopper, Terri Garr and the incomparable Frank Zappa (oddly enough, a huge fan).

You Just May Be the One is a Mike Nesmith tune. Mike does not get his due. His mother invented liquid paper and he has a successful solo career. He almost invented country rock, although he will not take credit.

Randy Scouse Git is a wild romp through psychedelia and kettle drums. Mickey looks like he's wearing a tablecloth and displays his scatting and vocal talents. He's a very good singer and front man but also does not get credit for it. He started as a guitarist and continues to play it in concert. Mickey had to learn the drums for the group, as Mike already played the guitar. ANECDOTE: the title was apparently a serious insult in England, so they released the single as Alternate Title there.

Valleri was a favorite of mine (and many others) from the early days, possibly because of the fuzzy guitar and really fast guitar solo. The solo was not played by Mike, as mimed here. He readily admits that he's not a very good guitar player. He did hold things together live.

I really want the Monkeemobile. There were eight manly cylinders in it, it could carry the entire band plus groupies and the header(?) popping out of the hood probably blinded the driver.

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