All's Fair in Love and Nuclear Weapons

No one saw this coming: there's a flaw in the Google smart speaker that will allow it to be hacked. Also SQLite and Chromium-based browsers. 

While we're mentioning a few of my favorites, a Faceyspaces photo API bug exposed photos of 6.8 million users. Developers could have gotten access to the pictures you didn't post (yet), including the ones with the donkey. I lost count of how many FB f-ups there were in the last week.  By all means, keep posting. Enjoy!

Reminder to make backups of all your important information. It's great policy, plus if you get nailed with malware or ransomware, you can restore from your backups. Unlike most of the companies who got hit with it thus far.



This year's Worst Password list is out. 

1. 123456  (2nd year in a row!)
2. password
3. 123456789
4. 12345678
5. 12345
6. 111111
7. 1234567
8. sunshine  (wtf?)
9. qwerty
10. iloveyou
11. princess
12. admin
13. welcome
14. 666666
15. abc123
16. football
17. 123123
18. monkey
19. 654321
20. !@#$%^&*
21. charlie
22. aa123456
23. Donald
24. password1
25. I'm not typing all 50

When you're done picking out one of them, make sure you write it down on a yellow sticky and put it on your monitor, or under your keyboard. This is what we call sarcasm, based upon being in desktop services way too long. Not anymore!

misFortune 500

The largest companies in the world have an average of 500 servers and devices accessible from the Internet - and many leave thousands of systems open to attack. 

It's only a matter of time until the Fortune 500 and government have to buy their own docs on the dark web.

• A Playboy model has been thrown in jail after posing naked at the Vatican. I think this is Fake News. No one would notice a grown woman at the Vatican.

California Uber Faultus

You'd never believe this, but scientists at the University of California, Berkeley, are developing a tool to identify "hate speech" on social media.

In other news, social media scientists are developing a tool to identify "hate speech" detectors.

Speaking of Berkeley, a delivery robot burst into flames at UC Berkeley. It was after hearing about the tool to identify "hate speech".  As if I could make up anything better, students held a candlelight vigil for it. Apparently there was nothing to be outraged about for those few minutes.

Don't go to Berkeley: it's way too silly.

• Man was not meant to write with a mouse. If you don't believe me, open any paint/graphics program and try to produce text with your mouse. No cheating, by which I mean no drinking.

Cruel and Unusual:

A poacher's sentence includes repeated viewings of Bambi.

The Catholic Archdiocese of Detroit said it regrets that a priest at a teen's funeral questioned whether he would get to heaven after killing himself. 

Where do they get these people? At least they admitted it.

By the time Ash Wednesday rolls around, Catholics will have a permanent red spot from hitting themselves in the head when this stuff happens. Much like America, you guys need better people up top.

Dear lefty

• Undercover Officer Fudge Reinhold asks if I'm circumcised.
• How were Phoebe Cates' boobs up close?

THAT explains a lot:

Frequent sex associated with greater enjoyment of life for men.

Oh yeah... but not women.

For women, frequent kissing, petting, fondling, and feeling emotionally close to their partner was associated with higher enjoyment of life.

If you think about it, what women enjoy can lead to what men enjoy: Win-Win!

• I'm no linguist, but the phrase you don't want to hear when you're driving your Tunnel Boring Machine underneath the streets of Dusseldorf, is "Das is not goot."

It's almost a race to see what's going to do us in.
The Department of Defense Inspector General found multiple flaws in missile defense system cybersecurity. There weren't enough 8" floppies to keep them in operation.

I suggest they ask the aliens (the ones in the ships, not the ones trying to enter the country illegally). Ok, maybe not the aliens... whatever flew the ships on 2 different occasions over missile bases and caused all sorts of havoc. Maybe they have something for us on the defensive side.




If I understand this correctly, the Russians messed with social media to elect Trump, specifically targeting African Americans. African Americans are rightfully pissed, and have organized a Log Out of Facebook day. I have requested a meeting with the head of African Americans, Hillary Clinton, to discuss logging out of Facebook permanently.  This would be the second group, after liberal educated whites, who think black people are stupid. I think anybody who votes based upon social media is stupid.

• Bohemian Rhapsody is the number one movie and song in the country.
• Queen continues to tour, with Adam Lambert singing. Somewhere in heaven, Freddie's looking down, seeing Adam, and saying, "Nah - too gay."

A Twitter bug let unauthorized apps get access to DMs (Direct Messages).

These are the private messages exchanged between two or more people. Twitter, like Faceyspaces, is stupid on top of cesspool.

Dear lefty

• Joe Officeworker, of Anybusiness, USA, asks what's wrong with 123456 as a password
• Dear Dummy: Go back to your desk and click on some random links.

He's Putting a Colonoscope Up That Ferrari

Just a reminder that the new Faceyspaces facial recognition feature is turned on by default. Because it's urgent that FB get your facial metrics. In addition, this will help you get tagged in photos (and filed appropriately).

• Today's Fast Fact: voting is compulsory in Australia.
• Voting is a moral imperative in America.  If it were compulsory, we'd see even less voters.

Major difficulties are becoming public at Apple headquarters in Cupertino, CA. Because of all the glass, people are calling 911 after walking into it and injuring themselves. Only the best and brightest for Apple.

• Good thing we have the internet. I saw a commercial with the phrase "dilly dilly" in it. How stupid, I thought, and went to look it up. To my surprise, it came from a Superbowl ad for Budweiser. Yeah, there's no way I would know that otherwise. Not many 'experts' can agree on what it means, but apparently it took flight after the commercial aired. Fascinating, in that it fascinates people. We are an incredibly complex and undeniably stupid bunch.

I mentioned Ryan Seacrest being among the throngs of men accused of sexual harassment. Headlines are starting to appear about how he is 'fighting for his life'. I thought the guy had a near-fatal injury... no... he is just fighting his accuser. Hollywood - always in search of a new low.

And speaking of new lows, the Oscar ratings took a nosedive. It could have been an all time low. And who deserves it more than a bunch of back-slapping celebrities, who use any old award show as a platform for their politics and causes.

Jimmy Kimmel didn't even bother being allegedly funny: he advocated gun control and, shockingly, bashed Trump and Pence. 

• Speaking of gun control, Florida rejected a ban on assault weapons, favoring a vote to arm teachers. This might be the first thing to make sense out of Florida in ages.
• NRA membership is going through the roof.

Three daycare workers have admitted to giving children gummy bears laced with melatonin to get them calmed down for nappytime. The teachers were arrested. Asked for comment, the children yawned. Melatonin is pretty harmless, but still... it doesn't compare to my idea of valium lollipops.

Meanwhile Back in Rome...

• Father Luca Morini is on trial for allegations of blackmail, embezzlement, and other crimes. This shouldn't surprise anyone. The new and more fun item is that Francesco Mangiacapra, a male escort, has been providing services to Father Morini, who falsely presented himself as a judge. If the father's belief system is even a little bit true, I hope he comes to understand the power of the judge he's going to meet.  When Mangiacapra (don't these  people have any Smiths?), known to friends as Bob, found out the father's true identity, he questioned the financial source for all the lavish dinners and expensive gifts and reported Morini to his diocese. The diocese lept to inaction, awakening only after the case was shown on tv. The bishop suspended him and imprisoned him in his 200,000 lira house, built specially for him, with bills and maid included.
• This story has all the elements of a great book: blackmail, homosexual priests, lavish lifestyle, cocaine, orgies, and death threats. 
• The only honest man in all of this is a male escort. There has to be a biblical lesson here. This will hopefully see prosecution. The top levels of the Catholic Church, along with the pedophile priests, are the largest international criminal gang in the world.

The presidential race in 2020 is heating up, first with Trump's announcement that he will be running. Maxine Waters has just announced that if Democrats win back the House in 2018, she promises financial reparations for black Americans. Is this woman possessed by some insane ghost? Has she missed her meds for a few years?  She better be paying for this personally.

Foreign Aid

• For more years than I've been on the planet, there have been appeals and television commercials for money for starving children in Africa and elsewhere. Why is it that, despite all the money given, children are still starving? We send federal aid in addition to private donations.
• I just saw a commercial asking for aid for poor Jews in Israel. I am stunned. 
• According to an expert on Israel's defense, the defense budget is $15 billion.  The Israeli taxpayers pick up 70% of the tab. Defense Ministry income makes up 9%. The other 21% comes from you and me, fellow American taxpayer, to the tune of approximately $3.15 billion. Most of the aid comes as military equipment, not cash. This makes perfect sense, as the Military Industrial Complex gets a cut before the taxes stolen from the taxpayers go to a different country. We just signed an agreement for $38 billion over ten years.
• I don't have any means to figure out the financial demographics of my readers, and I don't care (although Google knows). We are barely getting by.  My money is better in my pocket than in the government's, then in foreign countries' pockets. Imagine what you could do with this money... save, invest, treat the family to something nice, pay off bills. Instead we give it to other countries. Is this ok by you?  We as a country cannot afford healthcare, yet billions hemorrhage out of the country every year.
• If you believe in foreign aid, send the money yourself. It's your money - do what you want with it. I never decided or ok'd or voted for my money going out of the country (or to most of what happens in the country).
• Which Congresspersons take the most money from pro-Israel PACs? An estimate of total aid to Israel - $138 billion. The Israeli-Palestine conflict has cost American taxpayers $3 trillion. I am not picking on Israel specifically - this is just the most egregious example of our money being squandered without really knowing it. Isn't it about time to keep our money at home, where it belongs, along with our military?
• If the American taxpayer had any real idea of what is being taken and where it goes, there would be rioting in the streets. After we turned the Kardashians off and finished our beers.

If you have been to Applebee's this year, look over your card's transactions. Point of Sale malware was discovered mid February.  Most US restaurants were hit, but if you paid online or using self-pay tabletop devices, you're ok. Look over your transactions anyway - it's good practice.

• Even more to look forward to in England: a Member of Parliament thinks wolf-whistling, catcalling and unwanted attention on public transportation should be reportable as hate crimes. Be careful letting them know how you feel, lest you be reported for a hate crime.

Had to pick up some meds at the local pharmacy. Mrs lefty says some of the people there piss her off. Really? I get great service there. Oh well... Walking up to the counter, the nice lady asked for my name. I gave it to her, then mentioned Mrs lefty too. She said ok.  She rang me up and gave me a total. Once again, I asked for meds for Mrs lefty too.

She stood there a second too long. I could see a lone wheel turning. I could smell the winter fragrance of twigs burning, along with the plastic bags from the leaves. She probably has some sort of illness from too much plastic bag burning. Finally it hit her, in Extra Slow Motion, that there were two customers sharing a last name. She pulled up the bag, stopped again, and said there were more. At least we were moving forward, I thought to myself. Finally I managed to pay and  escape the place. I suspect her boss was monitoring her performance... I couldn't see him but I heard anguished cries from the back room.

When you send an email with two questions, only the first one will be answered. It's the rules and I didn't make them. When you call someone, they're not really listening after Hello.  Try this: next time you call someone, after they answer, say, "I'm going to murder your pets Hi Bob, how's it going?" Next time at the pharmacy, I'll say to her, "Hey, those are some prodigious tits Can I have meds for the leftystrats, please?"

Around the Dial

things heard on tv or radio

• "...he believes that there's a sub-atomic particle, not yet discovered by science, called the pyrotron, that crashes into another particle", causing spontaneous human combustion.
• Is that motorcycle helmet New Zealand/Australia certified?
• "Oh no" duhhh duhhhh - a 'special' dog mascot for a UK insurer
• yur INE als (urinals)

Does advertising reflect reality? Is it manipulated? Is there an agenda besides selling you things? 

I ask because I'm starting to see mixed-race relationships on commercials. This is an interesting item to me because it's never been on tv. It is also antagonizing to some of the alt-right, who see it as an agenda. If the alt-right is getting itself into a tizzy over this, they better stay away from UK tv, where it's absolutely normal. Their heads will explode when they observe the black and white lesbian couple selling whatever they're selling. One was in the bath and the other was sitting on the toilet, clothed. It's amusing to watch groups lose their Stuff over things like this.

What would be interesting to me is UK advertisers using attractive women to sell something. They certainly live up to their stereotype.

• It's not that I don't trust manufacturers and users, but I don't trust manufacturers and users. I've written of flaws that allow Bad People to access things like pacemakers. Here's a related matter: researchers found vulnerabilities in a machine used to access and adjust pacemakers. Apparently the software used to run it is full of holes. The manufacturer was notified, and took its time in fixing the flaws. Meanwhile the machines were vulnerable, hence the pacemakers too.  Now apply this to The Cloud and Internet of Things. This is the future of security.

Best Headline:

Zebra hit, killed by car near Ostrich Festival

• Ask yourself this question: does the world need Neil Diamond tribute bands?

The staff and hopefully readership of ThermionicEmissions would like to thank the SE PA weather forecasters for another dead-accurate feat of prognostication. The rumblings started early this time. Talk was over 6" at least. Philadelphia closed schools a day in advance and went to Emergency Mode, where all cars had to be removed from the street on Snow Emergency Routes. This is a very important step for Philadelphia, as it needs to keep routes unobstructed for cleaning and emergency traffic. Also, the Parking Authority loads up on fines and towing fees. The store shelves were picked clean and there were lines of 13 per lane. Full Panic<tm> was in effect.

The forecasts stated that the snow would start the night before. In an exceedingly rare occurrence, they were correct. By the next morning, it was coming down hard. The flakes were huge and wet, adding up to 2" per hour, which is really A Lot Of Snow. After getting the mail, I looked like half a snowman. Marshall, being black, looked like the Abominable Snow Span.

The snow continued for a while, stopping just short of their forecast of 12" or more. And when I say just short, I mean about 2-3" total.

On one hand, we're all glad this wasn't worse. Extricating the cars will be less heart attack inducing (remember - the highest incidence of heart attacks is after shoveling, so don't).

On the other hand, most women will tell you 2-3" ain't 12", with a far-away look in their eyes.

On the third hand, if the local weather forecasters said it will be light sometime in the next 24 hours, I wouldn't put money on it.

He Reminds Me of a Penguin

In a move that has rocked the entire northern hemisphere (and parts of New Jersey), President Obama has 'extended the Afghan military presence.'  Support our troops - bring them home.

• The US State Department suggests that Israel might be using excessive force to confront a wave of Palestinian stabbings. Israel is not amused. Meanwhile, US state program to put police in armored personnel carriers with automatic weapons to shoot pet dogs and random others is on track for the year.

Technology scares the hell out of people, survey finds. Survey also reveals that it's cold in the winter and Rosie Perez's voice can peel the paint off cars.

• PUMPKINS? What in the universe is up with pumpkin? Yes, we're approaching that season, but this is excessive. Pumpkin coffee (my wife's favorite at Dunkin Donuts), pumpkin bread, pumpkin beer, other pumpkin baking products, pumpkin alcohols and pumpkin sex toys. I see it all over the place - my wife assures me it's been going on all along. Yet more proof that I either don't care or don't get out much (both, most likely).

If you're not paranoid about your privacy, you're crazy. Don't rely on my rantings - read this article and see for yourself. Read this sitting down.

• I said gum, stupid!  A Kyle, Texas, student caused mass panic when he asked someone for some gum and another student heard gun. A letter had to go home to all parents, explaining the situation.  PANIC!!!

The male brain is programmed to seek out sex over food. ....and to whom is this news? Our Central Processing Unit is centrally located.

• A man dressed as a priest stripped down and performed 'a sexual act' on the altar stage. Police and the church are looking for the man (he forgot to fill out his job application).

A Minnesota man killed his 84 year old grandmother for blowing her nose at the dinner table. Manners - use them or die.

• PLANE JUSTICE: Things got interesting on an Aer Lingus (that sounds dirty) flight, when a man bit another passenger then died. Not to be outdone, a Southwest traveler choked another passenger for reclining a seat. Any of us who have flown will agree that choking is too good for people who do this, as well as parents with screaming babies.

CIA Director John Brennan had a secret AOL account. SURPRISE - it got hacked. Now let's get serious here - in the first place, no one with any clearance at all should have an AOL account. Second, the guy is a CIA Director. Where do we get these people? But wait - there's more! Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson's Comcast account was also hacked by the same miscreant. These poeple are 'protecting' us. Do ya feel protected today, punk - DO YA? You will notice that the hacker got in trouble, not the people who are supposed to know better. So there's Hillary, John, and Jeh - it sounds like a really bad 60's folk group.

• MATH TIME: 

• The federal penalty for not having health insurance will rise in 2016 to $695 or 2% of income.
• For the subsidized, taxpayer subsidies pay roughly 70% of monthly premiums 
• The subsidized pay roughly $100 per month
• I pay over $100 per week (with a $5,500 deductible) 
• If I just pay the $695 penalty, it would pay for itself in under two months and I'd still wind up paying for my own visits, just as if I had a $5,500 deductible.
• These blithering Keystone Kops were supposed to fix health insurance. It is broken beyond measure.

NATIONAL HISPANIC MONTH: So it's National Hispanic month, as you can tell from the bold letters that started this. Take it from me, ok?  I work in an interesting place, which shares but a few oddities from the last VERY interesting place, one being Happenings. Both places have public-ish spots where they host events. Events at the old place included dances, fashion shows, and beauty pageants. The newer place seems to have its share of events but I haven't gotten a feel for what they are. Until yesterday. I was walking down the hall, minding my own business, when it became impossible to continue minding my own business, due to the insistent, LOUD, semi-rhythmic pounding on a drum. I was half aghast and half amused. My coworker just shook his head and said, "National Hispanic Month." Due to the flyers strewn about, I agreed. Then I saw the drummer and the featured entertainment: a scantily-clad guy with a cardboard Indian headdress. He was chanting HUH HUH HUH HUH, the way you'd chant it to an insistent, LOUD drum. I turned to my coworker and told him I just knew someone was going to be offended by this. The problem, at this point, was figuring out who.

Meanwhile, I still can't get National Guitar Month, National Left-Handers Month, or National Left-Handed Guitarist Month flyers or events or corporate-wide emails.

• Federal tax collected set a new record this year, at $3,248,723,000,000. That's $21,833 per working person. Yet we have a $438,900,000,000 deficit. This is what happens when you vote republican or democrat. This is why they're two sides of the same coin. Go ahead and argue R vs D - you're gonna get screwed either way (except the dems will insist you get free lube, then raise taxes to pay for it and the reps will require lube, benefitting their lube donor corporations). See where your tax dollars are going.

The Vatican is denying that the pope has a small tumor. Gee, I wonder who could have started that rumor...

• TODAY's QUOTE: “One cannot be exposed to the law and order of the universe without concluding that there must be design and purpose behind it all. And kill the Jews.”
  Wernher von Braun

TECH

Tighten up and secure your browser(s). All browsers, all operating systems.
NOW.

TUNES

Today's special is on another wunderkind: Jonny Lang. He started very young, in the Stevie Ray Vaughan mold and the hits kept coming. Jonny was a part of Experience Hendrix, which we attended last year.

The first time I heard Lie to Me, I wondered if it was a Joe Cocker song I had somehow missed. This little dude has a voice like an old, whiskey-soaked veteran. A buddy said the veins on the side of his neck looked like they were going to pop when he sang. And he can play! The little bastard has his own Fender signature guitar.

Breakin' Me is a nice mid-tempo song. Here's a live version.

Still Rainin' is another groove-filled romp, complete with cool female background vocals.

What did you expect to find on Mars?

Pope Ain't No Dope

So the nazi pope has stepped down, which came as a surprise to apparently everyone (yes, he was a nazi when he was younger).

Pope can cite ill health all he wants; the last time a pope retired, many people could not read and write.  Usually popes are buried, hence my skepticism.

One of the more interesting pieces of news around this announcement is that They are saying that perhaps it's time to go with a new pope from a different area, like Africa.

BOOM!
FLASH!
It hit me instantly: this pope is getting while the getting is good.  He is not a stupid pontiff; he sees the legal writing in the wall.  He is escaping before the excrement hits the rotating device.

Then, when he's gone, they're going to blame it on the black guy.

=========================

The Catholic Church appears to be one of the largest, most corrupt organizations on the planet.  In case you're not up to date, this is an organization that has tacitly approved pedophilia by covering it up and reassigning the offenders to other parishes, sometimes in different countries.

You can call it coincidence if it happens in one or two United States but when it happens in many states in many countries, it's no longer a coincidence.  When there is evidence of a cover up and proof that the church repeatedly moved pedophile priests around to offend in new places, the church has a legal problem (not to mention a moral one).  And don't get me started on the Boy Scouts.

A psychologist I know provided the best insight into this problem: when you take a group of people and put them in a situation where they have to ignore a basic human instinct, you have a problem like this.  Others have suggested that priesthood is a calling for pedophiles in the first place.

I have previously called for the United States to prosecute the church under the RICO statutes.  RICO refers to racketeering and was used initially against organized crime.  Then our good friends in government started to apply it outside of the mafia, especially when they discovered Asset Forfeiture.

A legal source said that while it is possible to bring a RICO case against the church, no one would dare do it because the political ramifications would be dire.  It's sad but I get it.

Perhaps the UN or a similar body could make itself useful and bring the church up on charges in front of the whole world.   There is no doubt of their guilt but they should have a fair trial.



NOTE: Many of my friends are Catholic.  I have no problem with them or their faith.  My issue is with their headquarters.

Observations from Venus

So I'm at dinner with friends last week when we notice that dinner is not cooking as quickly as anybody hoped.  After checking in with the cook, it was determined that the culprit was the oven.  After nearly an hour, the pork chops were still cold.  Fifteen minutes under the broiler and they were done.

Yes, this particular oven doesn't like pork chops.  I was tempted to say it didn't like pork at all, but the oven has previously demonstrated that it could cook pork roast.  As it turns out, this is not the only thing the oven doesn't like.  Turkey is another meat that will not cook in the oven.  Chicken yes, turkey no.

Experts from all over the cooking world are being called in to examine the recalcitrant food heating unit.  If I were a betting man, I'd put my money on hands in the air and quizzical looks.  Because I work at a non-profit, I can't even afford to wager on bets I am certain to win.

------------------------

I work with the salt of the earth.  Better coworkers I could not ask for, although their spouses may not entirely agree.

One fellow, who we'll call Bart, has been tending to a strangely sick cat for a while, trying to figure out what's wrong.  Unfortunately the answer is terminal and the kitty will have to be euthanized before they feel he's suffering.  The cat has been anorexic for a while and Bart believes the time is now.  Mrs. Bart, however, takes exception to the idea.  Just the other day she picked him up protectively, glared angrily at Bart, and said to the cat, "Daddy wants to kill you."

I have always suspected theirs was an interesting marriage.

------------------------

After marrying my wife, I inherited quite a few interesting sisters-in-law.  One was particularly large.  She stuck with the trend and is now so massive, she has her own gravity field.  In order to appear to be doing something about her massivity, she joined a step club.  

Cynics would say that if she spent one to three days less per week at the bar, the tons would slide off like mad.  

The step club gave everyone a pedometer, which meters how many steps the wearer has taken.  I believe the goal was 1500 per day.  One day upon realizing that she was nowhere near 1500, she demanded her husband wear it to work - so she could get the points for it.

Cynics would suggest they increase the distance between her house and the bar.

One night she waddled home from the bar, clearly in no condition to waddle.  It would have been better for her to call a cab to take her the whole block home.  In any case, she was so hungry, she kept picking up the tv remote, insisting it was a package of cheese crackers.

Low in sodium, high in iron, one would guess.

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